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IntrovertDatingCoach Archive

View 1 posts and 36 comments by IntrovertDatingCoach on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Outer Game IntrovertDatingCoach/r/seduction15/10/21 06:56 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

Mistake 1 was agreeing to be her friend when that's not what you want. That said, if you feel like she's being more talkative and possibly open to meeting up again, here's what you do: Wait for her to ask you to do an activity. When she does, say playfully, "Ooh, are you trying to ask me on a date?" If she says "no, I just want to hang as friend," say "Ooh, that's too bad - but hey, if you change your mind and want me to knock your socks off, hit me up." If she says "I mean..." or "Well, maybe..…
/r/seduction13/07/25 01:24 PM
7

This is a mistake many men make. YOU don't have to do anything other than keep asking her out, showing up, and giving her a good time. If you do this enough, the woman will naturally want to take things to the next level at some point. The problem is men tend to move a bit faster than women and we get impatient. You have to do the balancing act of moving at her pace but recognizing when she's giving signals that indicate she's ready for you to lead things to the next step. This is also true of g…
/r/seduction14/06/25 03:08 PM
3

I have a perfect example of this! Years ago, I reconnected with an ex-girlfriend, and wanted to be official again, but she insisted we stay in the friend zone. The next day, she asked me to hang out, and I replied that I already had plans that night (which I did, with another woman) but kept it very vague as to what my plans were. Fast-forward to the next week, and she was banging my brains out and wanting to be in a relationship again. When I asked her what changed, she said, she felt upset whe…
/r/seduction12/06/25 03:27 PM
1

how many times in total have you hung out with her?
/r/seduction15/03/24 11:50 PM
1

I learned about "The Illusion of Action." Basically, as men we are designed to be doers, so we feel in order to get the results we want in life, we have to constantly be doing things to make them happen. We do this same thing in dating as well, and cause overwhelm to the women we're trying to date. How so? We text constantly; we tell them all the feelings we're having for them as they come to us; we fight tooth and nail to get their attention, even moreso when it feels like they're starting to g…
/r/seduction02/03/24 08:40 AM
23

I'll tell you what honestly worked for me. And yes, going to the gym, creating goals, blah blah blah all that stuff can help... ...BUT, it starts with your mentality. Most people have a negative commentary going on in their heads all the time, so YOU are your first line of defense against your low confidence, and you have to be mindful of the things you're thinking about yourself and fight them tooth and nail. Here's what I did: At the point I realized I was always putting my own self down, I ma…
/r/seduction17/07/23 02:49 PM
1

"Only if you pay for the first round." Or "sure, second round's on me."
/r/seduction10/07/23 07:16 PM
1

Women would say things like “if we break up, that’s it” and mean it. Fast forward to when I became more indifferent about having to keep any particular woman around, and at the point where I’d break it off they’d be begging me to stay or apologizing profusely
/r/seduction03/11/21 12:11 AM
2

Here's some advice: focus on making your life more interesting. I saw many of your response to previous comments where you said you didn't feel women would be interested in the things you'd have to say. Ok, fine - so, if you don't feel your life is interesting, MAKE IT INTERESTING. In my 20s and 30s, I: -Put out a song that went viral on YouTube -Travelled to Australia -Drove around the country to most of the 50 states solo -Built up my own video business -Won money on a game show Why did I do a…
/r/seduction02/11/21 10:24 PM
1

Honestly, it's all in how you present it. During my college years I was actively trying to remain a virgin until I was married. As part of this goal, I would tell women all the time that I had never had sex before, thinking it would prevent them from wanting to have sex with me. Instead, the opposite happened: many of them would do things to indicate they wanted to be the one to take my virginity. I'm talking wearing lingerie, bedroom invites, etc. And that's when I learned: it's not about IF yo…
/r/seduction29/10/21 02:42 PM
1

Confidence is definitely great to have, but it's also based on repeated, habitual action. The more you do a thing, the less nervous you get and the more confident you become. When you first start asking women out you'll be nervous as heck, in part because of how much importance you're putting on it, as well as the lack of abundance mentality. That first girl? You'll be hella nervous. By girl 45? Eh, not so much anymore. The biggest thing that helped me was the reality that asking a woman out on …
/r/seduction28/10/21 06:03 PM
3

Literally just do the opposite of everything you mentioned in this post, and watch the women dry up lol
/r/seduction27/10/21 12:13 AM
1

So, so true. I found I kept my dates' interest a LOT longer (and built up their attraction much faster) when I wasn't doing all this "text to build rapport" crap anymore
/r/seduction22/10/21 06:09 PM
19

Because rapport-building is to be saved for the date. You want to talk about the majority of your "getting to know each other" stuff face-to -face where her other senses (smelling you, touching you, etc.) are part of that experience. When you try to do it via text it can leave you with less stuff to bond over when you meet in person. Furthermore, many miscommunications can happen via text that could cause her to be less attracted to you. For example: You may tell a joke that comes off funny with…
/r/seduction22/10/21 09:24 AM
68

Ah, you made some rookie mistakes here, pal: After-date texts - should be avoided if possible. They're not necessary, nor do they do anything to build interest. Suggesting a future date during a current date or immediately after - there is something to be said about the role anticipation plays in heightening attraction. When you ask about another date so soon, you cut out anticipation of when you're going to call again; anticipation of if they'll get a second date with you; and anticipation of k…
/r/seduction22/10/21 05:50 AM
2

This is so true, to the point where even a hint of someone I'm dating being the least bit flakey or non-responsive results in an automatic "NEXT" from me. Someone who truly likes you will darn near jump through hoops to spend time with you - heck, I've had dates with highly stressful, 12-hour a day jobs still try to find ways to squeeze me in for a date or night cap. Therefore, someone who has all the time in the world and can't answer a text or flakes on a date is no bueno!
/r/seduction16/10/21 04:13 PM
2

Well, being able to have sex definitely helps the self-esteem a bit, but most are also trying to be good at it so they can satisfy the other person. Like, it feels good to be attractive enough to have it, but to know that you'll be a satisfying experience is even better. Meanwhile, I have found from my own experience that the longer I went without being able to have sex (when it wasn't my choice), the less and less assured of myself I'd be. So I'd say it contributes a lot to one's self-esteem - …
/r/seduction16/10/21 12:06 AM
14

Real talk: I definitely noticed a shift in my confidence once I lost my virginity. I don't care what anyone says, knowing that women will find you attractive and desirable enough to sleep with you is a MAJOR milestone in a man's life - on a nature level, it's what helps him to believe his seed can actually be spread and he can populate the earth with offspring. On an ego level, it gives us the confidence we need to keep pushing forward and asking out women until we can find a mate that will be w…
/r/seduction15/10/21 08:30 PM
3

Aight, here we go! Kudos on waiting until Sunday to text her. My suggestion: make it a phone call. Too much texting back and forth early on can lead to loss of attraction, plus there can be no misunderstandings of whether or not she wants to go based on how soon she's texting you back to confirm the thing. If possible, plan the date for any days except Friday or Saturday - those are "seriously committed" date days, and you two are not yet there. Ask her for 2 different days. There's a psychology…
/r/seduction15/10/21 08:27 PM
1

Need more details - what kind of "moves" are you making when trying to ask these women out>
/r/seduction15/10/21 08:16 PM
1

You care because you were friends, and when you were friend zoned it changed the way in which you all interacted. Nothing wrong with that - sometimes you take a chance and it works out and sometimes it doesn't, and there are consequences for both. Most women don't want to really be friends with a guy they know has a crush on them when they're not feeling it. Just part of the game. Oh, but you wanted me to roast you, sooooo... um... HOW DARE YOU ASK OUT A FRIEND AND KEEP ON LIKING HER AFTER SHE S…
/r/seduction15/10/21 08:15 PM
2

Reason why I’m hung up is probably because she’s from the same country as me and she seems pretty down to earth and somewhat similar in terms of some personality traits - overthinker, somewhat shy and a little awkward (and I can relate to that as I used to be the same before I started to work on myself). Dude, real talk: as you get older, you'll find a variety of women that have these same traits. She's not special - and I don't say that in a way to be insulting; I'm saying this because you're o…
/r/seduction15/10/21 08:12 PM
1

Yes - stop doing so much texting. TEXTING. KILLS. ATTRACTION. You should only be using it to set up dates. Also, you're already making the mistake of "stacking dates," i.e. setting up a Friday date AND a Saturday date. No bueno - this is the start of how relationships burn out. You should only be seeing her 1 to 2 times a week in the beginning; with this date schedule, that's THREE dates in the same week. It doesn't give her enough time to think about you on her own, or talk to her girlfriends a…
/r/seduction14/10/21 09:57 PM
4

Outsider's perspective: You're doing too much texting. TEXING. KILLS. ATTRACTION. Outside of setting up dates (which I still think should be done via phone calls), texting for any other reason is a waste of time, especially if you're not in a relationship with a woman yet. The date was awkward because she sensed you were trying to get her back to her place to sleep with her. This is why, unless she's giving ALL the signals or directly giving you the invite up to her place that you should avoid s…
/r/seduction14/10/21 09:42 PM
3

A few options: Lie - make up a number and stories to go with said numbers (not recommended) Tell her it's none of her business - in a nicer way, but basically something along the lines of "I forget, 'cause I tend to only focus on the person that's in front of me" or more jokey like "Awww, why do you ask? Are you looking to be my next gf?" Truth with a valid explanation - something like "I tend to only get into relationship with people I can see working out long-term; I've gone on dates with many…
/r/seduction14/10/21 09:28 PM
1

TEXTING. KILLS. ATTRACTION. Now, I'm 39 so you may think, "yeah, but people your age..." Dude, in the last year alone I've dated a 25 year old and a 30 year old, and guess what? I was able to attract both women with very little texting AND neither of them required me to have to text them on a daily basis. Here's the thing: trying to text all the time makes you look too available, which will make women question your value - after all, if you have all this time to text them, it signals you're not …
/r/seduction14/10/21 06:07 AM
9

Geez, this is still happening?? I had this happen to me in college once - I was at a school dance talking to this cute girl, and all of a sudden another girl walks up, I hear her yell "NOOOOOO!" She grabs the girl I'm talking to and pulls her away from me... and I'm sitting there like: "WTF just happened?!?" Bottom line: some women are haters. They go out in groups, and if one girl in the group is getting talked to the other ones can't take it, get jealous or make judgements about the guy, they …
/r/seduction14/10/21 06:01 AM
1

Taking an actual interest in them and asking them questions about themselves, combined with an air of confidence and - believe it or not - indifference to whether they like me or not. The less attached you are to whether or not you get to have sex with them, the more women will want to have sex with you. Go figure, lol
/r/seduction14/10/21 05:55 AM
17

With all due respect to your dating app experience: none of these are facts. Peep game: It's demoralizing if you're taking it personally when you don't get the responses you want from the people you swipe on and don't get dates. However, your reaction to those things is up to you. True, but not by much - 39% of online app users are able to get dates; furthermore, 1 in 6 marriages start from online dating, and the divorce rate for those couples is significantly LOWER than people who meet someone …
/r/seduction12/10/21 10:10 PM
4

ONLY 20 matches?? Lol, she's lying to you. I posed as a woman on a dating app once and had 169 matches within 24 hours - she's just being modest... Anyway, here's a quick tip: stop texting these women asking if they got back to their dorm ok. Seems like a small thing, but while you're viewing it as "I just want to show her I care about her safety and well-being," what she's FEELING when she gets that text is "I just saw this guy, and he's already trying to get MORE of my attention? Seems like he…
/r/seduction12/10/21 05:30 AM
7

Eh, can't agree. Most of the women I've dated/gotten into relationships with have been from OLD, including my gf. I actually found it much easier to pick up women from dating apps, AND I found the skills I used to communicate and spark their interests were transferable to women I met in real life. I think most people don't have the patience to learn what it takes to find the right kind of women on dating apps, but ultimately I'm not one for turning down any avenue where I could meet women, espec…
/r/seduction12/10/21 05:24 AM
1

....yeeeeeeah no. No need to establish a date premise during the pick-up - she already knows you're interested when you ask for the number, but you need to leave a lil' mystery as to what you're going to ask of her when you call her. BTW I say "call" not "text" because the majority of women I've dated secretly HATE when men they're still getting to know are constantly texting them. (and btw, I'm 39, and still date women in their mid 20s to mid 30s, so trust when I say TEXTING KILLS ATTRACTION.) …
/r/seduction13/05/21 02:24 AM
4

The pros: you actually asked for the number. YAY! That's a HUGE first step. The cons: You texted her too soon after. When you cold approach, you have a better chance of increasing her interest by asking for the number, and then CALLING (not texting) her a few days later for a date. Now, someone may read this and think, "But if she was interested..." STOP. That's not how attraction works for women. You texting her right away (a) signals desperation on your part, and (b) gives the impression you'r…
/r/seduction12/05/21 03:50 AM
3

Take lessons from your previous situation: your ex chased you, thus you had a relationship. It's always better for women to do the chasing. The mistake we as men make is we find a girl we REALLY like and don't have enough self-control to do what actually works, i.e. applying patience and letting them chase after us. BTW, "chase" doesn't mean you do nothing. It just means you allow her the space to show you back proof she likes you. As an example: the reason you don't initiate text on a daily bas…
/r/seduction15/03/21 04:05 PM
5

You met her on a dating app. Therefore, one would assume that any time you ask her to "hang out," she's thinking it's a date. The fact that she agreed to see you, given the context within how you two met, indicates she's already ok with going on a date with you. That said: the more you use the term "hangout" when asking her out, the more likely it will be she friend zones you... because YOU are the one bringing the "friend zone" energy to her first. I'm not even saying you have to use the word "…
/r/seduction15/03/21 06:29 AM
2

Just 2 cents to add here: I think because of modern feminism and the #metoo movement, many men have been made to believe that ALL women look at men as creeps ANYTIME they appear to show interest. And yet, the majority of women actually LIKE being hit on by men, seduced, etc. So, you have to let the rhetoric in your head that women will find you creepy for trying to approach them die a horrible death. Yes, some women WILL be creeped out, but only the ones that either don't like you or have horrib…
/r/seduction21/01/21 07:02 PM
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