ItsHowItisNow2 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Question for divorced men considering remarriage. Prudence or overcorrection? 1 post account…highly suspect.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/02/26 02:44 PM
2	BEWARE OF SCAMMERS HERE: Redditors posting here for your business. She also messaged me…and I wondered why was she so supportive and obsequious in her interaction…decided to block her as my new well tuned red flag system kicked in.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/26 03:49 PM
-2	Wife's deal for 50/50 custody... It’s your call. I see a convenience in having her take the overnight responsibility and morning hustle of getting everybody ready. I probably would be inclined to go for it…but I think she might change her mind in a few months.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/02/26 11:19 PM
2	Finally Free Criminal greedy divorce lawyers…that’s why I went without and came out unscathed.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/02/26 05:03 PM
2	No way out I will add…seriously consider not getting married or emotionally attached to another woman again.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/02/26 03:45 PM
1	Do you like or love your STBXW? I liked some things about her, and disliked others, so I was in that hole. Now that I am FREE! I would never even go back to anything close to marriage.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/02/26 07:03 PM
2	Does anyone else ever get the urge for revenge? I like that!	/r/Divorce_Men	23/02/26 06:46 PM
7	Does anyone else ever get the urge for revenge? I will man up and be honest…yes indeed. Even after 8 long years…particularly at her older sister, who is a horrible person and a major Nancy Narcissist. She was the main driver for the marriage collapse, also a couple of her female friends, who “ride” their husbands and got into my ex’s head with silly ideas that would never have worked with me. I will never forget or forgive her older sister…that I know. But then…I have never been happier now that I am a free bird!	/r/Divorce_Men	23/02/26 06:42 PM
1	Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start. Keep a cool head and don’t escalate any conflict, keep your plans to yourself and your lawyer or one trusted friend. Definitely, don’t freak out and keep your emotions at bay…time to sharpen your acting skills and perform your best act.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/02/26 06:56 PM
1	I didn’t realize how lonely and mentally exhausting divorce would feel Yeah…It’s a period of time somehow I went through in a daze, trying to keep myself away from everyone, for I didn’t know who to trust anymore. I kept extremely busy, engaging my mind in complex tasks , creating things, fixing, building structures…only 1 male friend showed up every week to check on me…the rest of my acquaintances and friends stayed away, but did tried to get me out and spend time with them, outdoors, dinners or gatherings. It was tough to attend parties. Now that I have found mys…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/02/26 05:12 PM
6	Trying To Understand “What is going through her head” likely nothing that will ever make sense to people who look at life situation with a level headed mindset. You are dealing with uncontrollable emotions and constantly shifting tangential situations inside her conflicted mind. You have a lawyer that is paid to take that insane off your shoulder.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/02/26 05:42 PM
5	my wife just left me , i signed the divorce papers today @26 yrs old Make a giant effort to not fall into the “poor me” rabbit hole…no one can do this for you…only you have that power to put a stop to your self deprecation…train your mind to block that wasted life mode our brains love to visit when we feel depressed…it’s a nasty drug that doesn’t help you overcome and move forward. You don’t need anyone by you to make you succeed or be happy…one can still be miserable in company. Reach out to the many of use who have successfully blocked the emotional rabbit hole…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/02/26 03:45 PM
2	I can't believe this is where I'm at. Responsibility avoidance and self protective narcissism …they never accept wrong doings.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/02/26 01:51 PM
6	I can't believe this is where I'm at. Empty nest …death end to marriage.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/02/26 01:48 PM
1	Your Ex and Social Media Would never befriend her…but that’s because I refuse to befriend anyone and have Suckerburger get information about me…I don’t even use my name or any personal photo. Friends who know me call me, visit me or email me. But that doesn’t apply to my ex or her family, and I think that goes both ways.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/02/26 07:01 PM
5	anyone divorced due to lack of intimacy About Marriage I just finished reading an article about marriages that was very interesting and eye opening in its on target narrative about what a good marriage should be like and when it is best to go separate ways…for some of us information like this or forums for men to discuss their relationship issues has come a bit late in our lives. It’s worthy reading material. Hope it helps you make a change in your life…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/02/26 09:10 PM
7	Opinion Needed: Splitting an Expense Also…her parents should pay for it…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/02/26 04:37 PM
8	Opinion Needed: Splitting an Expense I would tell her…”Sure why not…I am planning on going on a vacation to wherever when they are back and their airfare and hotel costs will be $$$$ so you know”	/r/Divorce_Men	18/02/26 04:35 PM
1	I feel like need someone to tell me not to date/fling/etc. So what? Do whatever it makes you feel good and make an honest effort to block out the emotionally driven thoughts of “poor me”. I have been a free bird now for 8 wonderful years and although I did try the dating apps, I pronto realized how stupid that was.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/02/26 04:31 PM
2	Something new and not something I expected. It won’t erode the true value of the relationship they have developed with you…as you can’t buy true love…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/26 05:14 PM
2	Ridiculous thing's you have to deal with. My ex would have gladly gone down with the Titanic before admitting she had said or done something wrong. My 3 sisters are cut the exact same way…they know it all, yet can’t figure or solve the most basic or simply issues in their lives…something I feel might be intentional…so someone else walks the walk for them.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/26 05:03 PM
10	How many months before giving up Not a millisecond.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/02/26 04:13 PM
3	There's no incentive to being a good man anymore. Words of Enlightenment	/r/Divorce_Men	15/02/26 12:16 AM
8	Talk me out of it. Yes. That’s a terrible idea.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/02/26 08:39 PM
2	Contemplating divorce If we can give you any recommendations, it would be to NOT HAVE ANY MORE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH HER, so you don’t conceive a child under the present circumstances. And, given the details you have mentioned, I would certainly suggest that you consider divorce as there isn’t much prospects for her to modify what is obviously he comfortably uninvolved status.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/02/26 08:15 PM
4	Moving on…it’s been rough “What I miss is the familiarity. The companionship. We were best friends. And now that’s gone”….this sentence struck a chord….	/r/Divorce_Men	12/02/26 02:21 PM
1	You know you’re hitting your New Normal when? You wake up in the morning with a smile on your face…giddy happy…so much so that for a second I feel guilty about it and fear something terrible will happen to me for being so happy.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/02/26 04:18 AM
4	Wife Said We Are Incompatible A women’s mind is like the ocean waves, always going and coming, sometimes calmly and other times stormy…then, those other times when they tsunami you wrecking your mind and your soul…but know that time heals all the pains, but scars always remain.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/02/26 05:41 PM
2	Anger stage of grief Perhaps anger and disappointment aimed at myself for not having the wisdom I have achieved after all the dust has settled. My hardheaded blindness to my own faults and lack of emotional intelligence. I have overcome that self deprecation and now feel more at peace with myself and the rest. That being said, moments do arise when you have thought brought about from comment in this community for example, or memories that trigger your hurt feeling. It is up to us to allow those moments to rule our l…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/02/26 04:14 PM
2	All my friends ditched me post divorce. In my case only her side of the “gang” went silent, good riddance as most were fakes and dishonest as my ex herself turned out to have been…in the end you are what you have always been…all of our mutual friends are still friends of mine and nothing changed in that respect…the only thing is that she is now gone away from the group.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/02/26 03:00 PM
5	Well, now I am in the club That is exactly why I won’t trust or commit to any other woman as their ambivalence about what they want today will certainly not make any sense for them come tomorrow. And then they wonder why we don’t want to take them seriously…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/02/26 01:51 PM
5	I can’t face-to-face talk with my ex anymore – is this normal? Yeah…same here. I feel it is a mix of feelings…disappointment, guilt, shame, distrust, anger…it’s hard to regulate and present a diplomatic face to someone you no longer trust and see as a threat to your mental wellbeing. I went no contact and it was my solution, as I have adult children.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/02/26 04:30 PM
3	In an amicable divorce, how did you cut your emotional ties? The five stages of grief might help you put that past to rest…The steps of grief, commonly known as the five stages.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/02/26 03:51 PM
1	Home Stretch Congrats fellow you are on top of this awful situation you have, far better than most of us did during our divorces…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/02/26 09:25 PM
3	Dated for a few months after separating You are describing my experience…that wanton for emotional attachment that nearly all women I have met since my divorce seem to crave for and I am not anywhere near comfortable to provide, promote or promise…so like you…no dating apps. Lots of friends, going out in groups, outdoor gatherings and chill out without making a point to flirt for a quick hook up that I don’t really want anymore.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/02/26 06:44 PM
3	Have any men here been screwed by their lawyer? Never invite a lawyer into your bedroom!	/r/Divorce_Men	04/02/26 02:48 PM
4	Maybe once is enough? That would be me…and not regretted at all.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/02/26 12:59 PM
8	Ex wife is claiming I owe her half the value of MY inheritance from my late father, my GA divorce lawyer isnt helping Nothing I inherited, which included investments, money, real estate, land and valuables was touched and was never part of the discovery made by my ex’s lawyer. I didn’t even hire a lawyer…maybe I was lucky…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/02/26 08:31 PM
1	When the divorce was done, what did you do ? Absolutely…it takes determination and willpower to overcome the “easier” pathway of depressive “I give up and wallow in my self pity”. The struggle never really ends for low moments pop up once in a while brought about by songs, memories and such…so you want to manage those feelings without immersing yourself in the past for too long…move on…let those emotions flow throughout and extricate yourself from the moment of weakness. For me it’s a “will do” mentality.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/02/26 12:42 PM
3	When the divorce was done, what did you do ? For me it was a let go of pent up emotions that I had contained/bottled up so not to compromise the process…it wasn’t pretty…the whole grieving process played out all at once…ups…downs, depression, anger, anxiety, happiness, hatred…yeah. A fellow I befriend did come around, every so often to check on me and would always say…”it will get better” he had a divorce under his belt as well. It did get better and I am good, but it took work…working your mind to not fall into a rabbit hole of self pity.…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/02/26 10:27 PM
2	Ex wife texting another guy Oof! I am glad we ended our relationship after our son graduated college…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/02/26 07:29 AM
7	Ex wife texting another guy It happened to me as well…ex taking advantage of my willingness to get her out of her personal problems but being narcissistic by making demands on top of it. I went no contact and have kept it that way for the past 7 years. I do miss the friend she once was…it is like that person passed away.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/02/26 07:18 AM
1	Normal to be depressed? Normal? Sure, but conducive to absolutely nothing that would benefit you. Shake it up…play some Peter Frampton “Do you feel like we do” as loud as you can and cheer up my man! That’s exactly what I am doing right now…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/02/26 12:34 AM
1	House They are living organisms and they only require water once every week or so…why inflame her more that she is now? Save you the energy for what’s coming your way in terms of stress.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/02/26 05:40 PM
1	Circling the drain Same here…8 years now and totally reluctant to engage myself in another emotional roller coaster. Better alone than sorely accompanied by another dishonest woman.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/02/26 09:14 AM
6	So are all divorced men narcissists? Every human has a narcissistic side, a me firstly. Some people are more narcissistic than others and some are less inclined, or make a bigger effort to not come across as selfish or arrogant. The accusations by women are perhaps a way for them to claim their larger share of narcissism in the relationship. Women demanding attention and validation from men without verbally expressing themselves and expecting men to read their minds. After divorce we may become more aware, more guarded, more open m…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/02/26 08:32 AM
3	Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Agree or disagree? I have remained in a self-protective celibate state of contentment. I do feel lonely sometimes?…sure, at times when I am idle. So, being proactively attentive to not allow my mind to wander into pityland by getting busy with something, I avoid the tendency we have for reminiscing on that which will never happen again. And I don’t regret that past life as it gave me a son and a grandchild.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/01/26 05:10 PM
1	Advice on how to respond Thank you…ultimately it is your decision. My son is and was an adult when we called quit by mutual agreement, so no pressure situation and she was also a great Mom to my son. You are in the best possible position to come to a decision on that regard. Best wishes to you and your kid.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/01/26 03:21 PM
5	wife wants divorce She has demonstrated contempt towards you and that’s the end of the emotional involvement for her. She is on the other side of the World in terms of emotional proximity to you.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/01/26 01:09 PM
5	Advice on how to respond You had already, in advance provided her with a substantial relief by passing on the $500 per month spousal allowance. I did the same as you, even though I should have taken it.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/01/26 01:01 PM
14	Birthday parties Your home your rules…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/01/26 04:15 PM
1	Ripped the bandaid off. Feel alone on an island. We all have (more or less) those same warm feelings for our ex-wives, you go through the ups and downs of it identifying what does and doesn’t bring you back into that lowdown mood and avoiding those feelings by engaging in uplifting activities that you enjoy doing. The fact that there’s no children involved is a plus for you, so it is your choice.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/01/26 03:29 PM
2	Today was the day What I have realized is that “love” is like a sickness, it passes through your system, driven by newness, lust, hormones, whatever…because that’s how baby humans are created, imagine that…we walking apes. So, people’s attraction to each other fades away and what remains is chores, kids, taxes, problems and misery for the most part. Some people decide to suffer until the end of their lives and others turn into starting the process of feel good all over again. Simplistically put. Some others, like…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/01/26 08:00 PM
1	Need some advice Wow! Can’t begin to imagine the level of contempt one would quickly develop for someone who does what she has done to you. Just imagine turning the tables and doing that to her, what would she think. I would never look at her the same way…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/01/26 07:36 PM
1	Experience with pets I ended up with her Chihuahua dog because it was attached to me even though I really didn’t want her to get another dog after our two old Labradors (both hers) died and she didn’t want to handle the vet runs, hospital stays and final put down… The little dog died 2 years later (old age) now I only keep plants as pets.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/01/26 05:37 PM
5	Depression vs Rage I try not to demonstrate my low feelings whenever they surface in the course of living my divorced life. I like to keep those moments to myself and nip the depressive episode asap by engaging in an activity, listening to loud classic rock music and whistling along to the music…don’t share your feelings or emotions with women…they like that for themselves and dont appreciate men using the tactic…lol	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/26 06:28 PM
6	Women Typically Don't Leave for a Worse Situation..... Exceptions to the Rule? Right. Now that I am single again, I am staying single forever.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/01/26 09:59 AM
8	Women Typically Don't Leave for a Worse Situation..... Exceptions to the Rule? Ah well…women seldom, if ever communicate their thoughts or feelings…they, more often than not, expect you to read their minds.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/01/26 09:51 AM
1	Should I accept the settlement I understand that you are being honest, but that kid needs you and you will regret that you aren’t loving him more than yourself and everything else in your life.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/01/26 08:03 PM
3	She walked out last friday and I’m struggling to cope Hey fellow, sorry to hear your pain. Nothing appears set in stone just yet, your wife is expressing her grief/pain/ire/frustration out loud to her family members, perhaps looking for validation, which she doesn’t appear to be getting, as per your conversations with co-worker sis in law. Give this time and relax a bit. Let her be in her space away from you and you away from her, maybe things will cool down and you can get a chance to “apologize” for the “misunderstanding” of that past situation s…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/01/26 07:32 PM
3	Missing the knicknacks and other pleasantries Embrace your “feminine” side…lol that’s what some of my female friends tell me…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/01/26 06:33 PM
1	What do you all do when you don’t have a support system? Be your own support person, many of us have been through it all without SS and come from it all stronger.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/01/26 06:19 PM
4	Co-sleeping with children Move the kids out of your bed and room…avoid issues. Kids can be coerced into saying things that may be seen as inappropriate. Wear more appropriate clothing as well during these marriage break up times…for smoother sailing ahead…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/01/26 03:38 PM
3	My Divorce was finalized today. Almost every day…whenever I am idle, my mind goes there…thinking about her…most of the time brought up by some song on my playlist…the good and the bad times…that old lady friend…that became an uncommunicative person and stranger. That’s after 8 years, so this shit stays with you and creeps out whenever…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/01/26 08:31 PM
1	How are you improving your social life post divorce? I think “social life” is a very personal/individual choice. For some, there is a constant need to mingle with others. At the other extreme, some people thrive in content solitude. I am a midway type…solitude allows me to be creative and dedicate myself to my many projects…my social group, knowing that I rather be home involved in some complex tasks, always make sure that I “give them” some time by inviting me to parties, dinners and outdoor activities. I think some of the people (couples) I befr…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/01/26 06:43 PM
5	The more you and your spouse can talk and negotiate your own settlement, the more time and money you will save in your divorce. Thank you, but there was pain nevertheless and lasting to this day…because she was the first and last I will ever marry. The longer your marriage last the more painful the separation becomes. You must work your magic and block out the depressing memories, thoughts and feelings. Get your head involved in complex tasks to avoid falling in emotional rabbit holes. A friend (male) told me “It will get better with time” it did, but there is a feeling of loss, like the death of someone you once loved a…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/26 01:02 AM
2	My story Also, get your mind busy with a challenging project(after the divorce), because your mind will wander and depressive thoughts will creep up and take over your life. I always wanted to design and build structures, so I went for it…timber frame cabin all by myself, a crazy challenge that kept me sane. And yes, I succeeded with that challenge which emboldened me to trust and love myself more than ever before. I don’t expect anyone to love me , like me or approve of me anymore. Like me if you want t…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/26 12:50 AM
1	My story That was my gain from the experience…8 years strong in my determination to never marry again.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/26 12:39 AM
1	Can’t imagine myself ever being in a relationship again Couldn’t agree more. Ideally, you would find another person who has a similar mindset as yours and able to communicate without you having to learn to read minds, so not to do or not do what she wants or expects or doesn’t like or whatever. After my divorce (amicable) I decided to go monk and not fall for any other woman, have them as friends and go out with them with clearly spoken expectations. It has been great for me.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/26 12:00 AM
5	The more you and your spouse can talk and negotiate your own settlement, the more time and money you will save in your divorce. It’s what we did, although she had a lawyer paid for by her affluent dotting father. We divided up assets, she wanted the house, so we got an appraisal and we divided that in half…house was paid off, so she had to take a mortgage…stupid does stupid things… I kept all my IRAs, inherited assets, 2 vehicles, a Zmower, half her retirement fund and $100k cash. I refused spousal support. None of my assets in another state were included in the discovery made by her pricey lawyer…all good. At the divorc…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/01/26 05:58 PM
2	I just need someone to talk to The disrespect and contempt demonstrated by her actions tells us a lot about the zero possibility of reconciliation. Both of you crossed several boundaries and she committed physical violence against you, so perhaps a good thing for you against her in divorce court.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/01/26 02:15 PM