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ItsYesMaam2u Archive

View 8 posts and 178 comments by ItsYesMaam2u on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I needed this today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 11:27 AM
5

Mine did exactly the same! I didn't understand it at all - lol, did we date the same guy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 10:07 PM
115

Bullet dodged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 07:46 AM
3

Oooh, good idea! I like this a lot!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 09:00 AM
17

I used to adore this song. Never noticed the FDS lyrics/video 😂 Also, ugh, take me to the early 00s where women were dressed and there was always a cool dance off scene in music videos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 08:41 AM
12

Don't be disappointed with yourself. The past is the past and you know better now. My ex said a similar thing to me before too and I also initially stayed. Luckily I was a few months into FDS and it only took a few more weeks to dump his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 08:29 PM
42

I was actually speaking about to a non-FDS female friend about this. She's on reddit and hasn't heard good things about this place (despite me defending it). Anyway, one of her worries was that she was afraid that by following the FDS rules, I 'could be missing out on experiences because I am afraid of getting hurt'. I pointed out that I am happy to miss out on experiences that I know will eventually hurt me - either because they already personally have hurt me in the past, or because I have hea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 08:26 PM
15

I can't believe I used to do this. Now I like to imagine them with the surprised Pikachu face when they come back expecting a paragraph but instead realise they've just been blocked. It's my kink.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 07:45 PM
1

Hahaha, right 😂 Like everyone says, it's still useful info but that bit made me laugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 05:09 PM
2

Oh no, I totally get that - I just found it darkly humorous that no one mentioned it. Sorry if that didn't come across 😂 So.. err.. We all just gonna ignore the flogging bit? Long story short, yes. Yes, we are 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 05:08 PM
4

So.. err.. We all just gonna ignore the flogging bit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 04:57 PM
31

No difference unfortunately. LVM galore. The same FDS principles apply to find the HVMs in the haystack.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 04:52 PM
10

Thank you to both of you ( u/Delicious-Scholar and u/tatipie17 ) for being so quick to give correct information on this. Misinformation is insidious in how it can spread if left unchecked. The original comment was fine up until the first paragraph (she doesn't like left-wing? Cool, you do you boo - each to her own) but the second paragraph was unnecessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 09:52 AM
11

Exactly! And just to add - us brits pronounce words more like she does than he does. Like your example 'aluminium', as well as 'tomato', 'caramel' and 'vitamins'. As an aside, I adored the way she said 'hippopotamus'! <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 07:45 PM
6

Something similar happened to me too. At 13, while I was standing with my mom in a fish market.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:39 AM
2

Haha, I did this same thing! I had: Just Me January Fuckboi-Free February Me, Myself and I March Great minds 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 04:32 PM
1

Just watched this now.. Well damn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 07:16 PM
3

I wish I could like this x1000 - I feel the exact same way. On another note, your name is *everything*. Skol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:23 PM
3

YIKES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:13 PM
3

Bwhahah, that'd be perfect! M'lady, https://imgur.com/a/PoJpzUH tips hat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 09:54 PM
3

I believe that it is the spirit of a scrote in the afterlife 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 09:53 PM
19

The field 😂😂😂 I believe for most men, it is actually here though (pls enjoy my beautiful photoshop): https://imgur.com/a/nQ1Qd71 u/slothsomesauce's fabulous meme idea: https://imgur.com/a/PoJpzUH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:39 AM
6

I think men just hate self reflection. My ex refused to take the love language quiz or the MBTI personality quiz. Like for fucks sake I'm trying to figure out who you are so i can love you to the best of my ability and you dont even care that you look at a stranger in the mirror every morning. This really resonated with me. I had the exact same experience and thought the same as you too. Is it really so hard to take a 5 min quiz? Do you really need to hurr hurr hurr and say 'I already know mine …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 10:25 AM
4

Apparently to see if it 'sounded ethnic'. Just raining red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 10:18 AM
23

Ooh, I have. But even worse, in person. Met for a drinks date (yeah I know -_- I'm better now). He surprised me with a box of chocolates but then made a comment about how no one uses their real name on OLD (disclaimer: I did). Not even 20 minutes later, he's asking for mine and my younger sister's full names. I was like, O_o. Excuse me sir, I don't even know your real first name. Left and BLOCKEDT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 10:25 AM
90

From the outside, it doesn't necessarily feel like a bad thing to me, especially with the reasons you've given. However, I am a firm believer that if your intuition is screaming fuckboi - believe it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 08:33 AM
3

I was trying to see if it was a gold grill 🤔 at least that would be worth something...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:40 PM
6

I think I just threw up a little bit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 05:37 PM
2

This is cute - your husband sounds great :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:19 AM
2

That's a great attitude to have!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:18 AM
1

Hmm, thanks for the extra info!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:16 AM
1

Umm, okay. So to summarise, basically you're in the 'it makes no difference' camp? ​ (Disclaimer: I'm not here to shame anyone about what they do with their genitals and with whom - I just want experiences and guidance from this community since it has served me well so far)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:51 PM
2

I am not talking about women who are virgins :) We've been taught from birth that it is something sacred, determines our value, etc etc so it's a completely different ballgame for us. You're not strange and you don't have to be worried at all. I just wanted an FDS perspective on male virgins in their mid-twenties and upwards. I'm sure some men can relate to what you've described though and hopefully the guy I am seeing is one of them. Thanks for the comment :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:46 PM
3

This is quite the opposite opinion to the general consensus here. Could you give me more information? I'm truly interested :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:08 PM
6

Hmm.. well I wondered out loud a few times in a hypothetical sense, and after the 3rd time he just admitted it. It surprised me a little as he has had relationships before, but he also hasn't been very forthcoming physically so it made a lot of things make sense. So I'm not sure really..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:22 PM
8

I totally get it - that wasn't my intention with the question either; everyone should have sex whenever/if ever they are ready. Your last question got me like an arrow to the heart. After 'training up' my first boyfriend (first everything) to be a decent boyfriend and lover.. I don't know if I have the heart to do it all again...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:19 PM
4

Oh no.. this resonates with me so much too, down to the way you described his HV traits. Ugh... I think I may need to marinate and truly listen to what my gut says because I'm all sorts of confused right now. You may be right about it being a personal red flag 😞 I guess me even asking this here is an indication itself. Thanks for sharing your story though - this community is so helpful 🤗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:15 PM
7

Uh oh.. that last paragraph hits a little too close to home 😬 Thank you so much for the perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:10 PM
7

All very good points to consider here - thank you :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:08 PM
5

Bwahahah, no, but this made me chuckle. I just seem to be a virgin magnet, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:07 PM
26

Riiight, I hope he picks her :l
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 07:19 PM
154

'Don’t wash a mans shoes on the first date.' Don’t wash a mans shoes on the first date. Don’t wash a mans shoes on the first date?!?! ​ \watches video** Wooooow. We really out here having to tell ladies this??? What in the world?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:57 PM
4

What a video!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:20 PM
11

My ex did this too. Him doing nothing on Valentine's Day (even though he knew I celebrated it), was the last straw. Only 4 months of my life but lessons were learned. You definitely did the right thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 07:02 AM
2

Hear hear!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 07:50 PM
7

'Excuse me sir, your insecurity is showing.' ​ On another note, 'Am I just a bitch?' should totally be FDS' new AITA term: 'AIJAB? He called me babe too many times so I blocked him' 'AIJAB? He told me that he didn't deserve me so I thanked him for telling me and blocked him' 'AIJAB? He sleeps in a nest so I blocked him.' Pretty sure that our judgement would always be the same though, LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 08:55 AM
4

Failures: - Paying on a date (due to my own damn generosity, wasn't forced or coerced). You guys helped me realise that while it isn't the end of the world, he should still be paying and to drop him if he changes his attitude about paying after this. Successes: - Successfully dating one guy but been invited on a date this weekend by a new potential suitor (an educational activity + dinner), thus avoiding getting too attached to guy #1 (above).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:31 PM
1

Just did so - it was harsh, but a good reminder and mindset refresh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:03 AM
3

It was a useful exercise for me to do, which I'll definitely take with me going forwards. And actually you're right there. Why do they care? I guess we've all been brainwashed. I have never thought about it that way - once again you're right, it is harder than I thought it would be for me to let go, trust a guy to provide and figure things out on his own. My time with him so far has been such a refreshing but alien experience. I'm still learning a lot! Thank you again for the words of wisdom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:45 PM
7

Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but this was almost like an Aesop's fable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:34 PM
4

If he wanted to message, he would.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:21 PM
1

Okay great, thank you! The general consensus seems to be that I can stop stressing so much then :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:55 PM
1

Agreed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:55 PM
1

I also get what you're saying here. Much like others have said, if this changes him and he stops acting like he has, I know that he was only pretending to be a HVM. The important thing is to see how it plays out and if he reveals himself as a LVM, I know what to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:54 PM
1

Phew, okay. Thank you :) I'll make sure that it's 'occasionally' though. I honestly thought I was going to get roasted here. I love this community!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:52 PM
2

Yes, exactly! Okay, I'll take a deep breath, keep it moving, but watch for signs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:51 PM
4

Awh, thanks KetoKittenAround *hugs* - yes, I will take this as a learning opportunity but not be too harsh on myself. I've said this above too but he was absolutely normal afterwards - even contacted me the next day and proceeded to arrange and book two further dates for us :) So we'll see, but I think it may possibly be okay.. I will definitely keep an eye out for him glancing at my purse though (good tip)!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:50 PM
2

Oh really? I guess thinking about it, it would be a red flag - was this only in public?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:46 PM
2

Thank you for the encouragement! I think you're right, it would definitely out him as faking it/being no good if this prompted him to stop trying. Luckily there's been no change though. As I said to someone above; after the date, he contacted me to arrange our next date - which actually ended up being two dates due to how many ideas he had - and has already booked and paid for them. I refuse to be in the situation you described where a man eventually just takes you for granted (been there, done …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:45 PM
7

Okay, right, will definitely do that. After this date, he already has booked and paid for our next two date activities over the next 2 weeks, so I feel like that's a good sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:38 PM
6

This is an excellent question. I guess it's because I know his situation at the moment ( recent grad/doing a temp job) so I was concerned for his finances? Though he has never even suggested I pay so I suppose I should just trust he has it handled and is not getting himself into debt. Also, outside influences. A few friends of mine and my mum made comments about him paying for everything (in a poor him, kind of way). Thank you for this comment, it really helped me break down how I was thinking. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:36 PM
2

That's the spirit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 09:30 PM
13

If there are already doubts and red flags after the first date, you know what to do.. b l o c kkkk. Seriously, don't give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't know about you but whenever I have, I always look back and regret it. When has it ever ended in happiness?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 02:51 PM
31

From your post history you seem new, so I'll say what we're all thinking: read the handbook, if you haven't already. But I know sometimes it's hard to see clearly when you're in the situation so I'll point out common FDS red flags in your comment already: - Talking for a couple of weeks but no date planned - Switching to Snapchat of all mediums - He asked you on a coffee date (just NO) - He didn't follow up before the date/disappeared And finally, YOU went to chase him about this 'coffee date' t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 07:52 AM
10

Ugh, true. My heart hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:25 PM
43

I can't believe that this is real
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 03:57 PM
2

This gave me goosebumps. I did a deep dive on this after watching the second season of Westworld and seeing a post on here about it, but I had never seen this footage. IIRC, Manson also has a music video in which a Rachel-lookalike is brutally beaten and murdered. Absolutely disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:05 PM
2

Pardon my language, but that was really fucking cute. I found myself smiling like a dope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:59 PM
3

Right, totally agree. It's nice how OP has pointed out lessons from each character! That being said... another mistake is that Noah really didn't know about the earring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 07:38 PM
13

If it's such a long story, couldn't he explain it via a phone call? Or voice message? The whole test thing seems like an unlikely scenario (but not impossible I guess).. and I just want to say, make sure you're not giving him the benefit of the doubt. I recently did a poll here about whether or not to block a guy who cancelled because of 'work reasons' and the results were overwhelmingly block.. because it shows he is not in charge of his own time and may be a nightmare to date. I'd respect a de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:06 AM
63

What strikes me is that he is clearly not asking for a little shot glass of milk to try. He wants it straight from the source like his 2 month old daughter. Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:56 AM
6

I learnt this exact lesson too during lockdown :/ While all was great to begin with, the lack of action when things eventually started opening up is a HUGE red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 12:22 PM
6

I'm just going to answer the title question: I don't have this problem because if someone rejects me, I truly believe it is their loss. It's like a toddler playing with a diamond vs being examined by a professional appraiser. They don't know my worth and wouldn't know how to treat me correctly anyway. Maybe my ego is too big but it serves me well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:42 PM
6

Thirding James! I am surprised I had to scroll down so far to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 09:38 AM
13

You've got this, girl. Totally agree, block and delete - zero effort here. Day of date should just be for confirming the original plans still stand imo. I only put a date in my calendar once he has confirmed time/date/place - otherwise as far as I'm concerned I'm free and will take up other offers for dates that day or choose to see friends & family. I refuse to hold time for people who don't respect mine. Also, a similar situ happened to me yesterday. While he confirmed the date a week beforeha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:48 AM
25

Agreed. There's a BIG difference between a friend saying that and some random dude and unfortunately, we all need to remember not to give men the benefit of the doubt. Consider the fact that he could have said something like, 'that sounds delicious, I'd love to try it sometime.' or 'I love alfredo too, we should go eat it together' etc etc. Instead it was an order, 'bring me some!' Nah...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:32 AM
0

I actually laughed out loud. Hilarious response!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 08:27 AM
13

Something similar once happened to me too! Last year I was talking to this guy and for the second date, he told me, 'I want to take you out for dinner' so I was like, cool, what do you fancy? - and this dude replies, 'Let's have steak'. I'm happy he is being decisive and proactive, so he arranges the date at some pricey steakhouse that I'd been to before. While waiting for our table at the bar, he gets me a cocktail - 'his treat' 🚩 - and pays for it. We eat our meal and when the bill comes, he t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 02:49 PM
1

I agree with this and have experienced exactly the same. I suspect you're right and it is because he's not sure what would be a good time.. but I decided that wasn't good enough for me and he's now blocked. Thanks so much for the input!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:00 AM
2

No need to be worried :) but the sentiment is very much appreciated. I have been on and off apps for almost 10 years now - I'm just trying to stick to FDS principles and found a gap in my knowledge about this particular scenario. In any case, I blocked him, and was glad to see the results of the poll reflect my decision, even with the non-FDS lurkers - this is such an awesome community! Your experiences sound dreadful though and I'm sorry these men did those types of things to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 07:57 AM
3

Very true - and I like that, I think you're right there; it's acceptable once in a while after you're actually in a relationship. Thanks for the quick response :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:42 PM
3

Very true. This especially reasonated: he doesn’t sound in control of his schedule and people like that are a nightmare to try to date Thank you so much for your answer, it was exactly what I was looking for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:34 PM
1

Thank you for this response - you've answered the general question I had too. And actually, you're totally right. Cancelling for work is almost like a get out of jail free card that you can't argue with so it will be used over and over.. and if it is actual work, you don't want someone who would prioritise it over a plan previously made with you, I guess?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:30 PM
1

I also think a week is too much tbh... but good point u/penelopekitty. Like others have said, the rescheduling is a massive flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:28 PM
2

Tbf, I have also had that experience - very good reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:26 PM
1

Haha, this whole reply was me after my initial reaction of block. Thanks for your thoughts though. Since he told me early, I hadn't even started getting ready yet so the cancellation wasn't a massive deal :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:25 PM
2

Thanks ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:22 PM
2

I like this. I didn't actually say anything in the end, but he messaged apologising several more times. Thanks for the suggestion though :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:21 PM
1

Apologies if I didn't give enough info, but he did give me a specific work reason and (update!) later apologised several more times. He hasn't rearranged though so I think I know what needs to be done. I definitely see what you mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:20 PM
2

Agreed - I like this plan of (in)action.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:18 PM
1

That's a good point. I never asked him. I just know our date was at 13:00 and he told me at 9:00.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:16 PM
1

Not to argue or be defensive, but are you saying a genuine work issue coming up is never possible? In this case, you're probably right. I also just wanted to know if it ever acceptable to cancel because of work. Handbook was read and devoured - but couldn't find the answer to my question in bold above.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:15 PM
3

Yeah, agreed. This is what I ultimately kept coming back to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:11 PM
1

Oh, I was highly sceptical myself. I also just wanted to know theoretically if the situation were to happen (and it was proven that the cancellation was due to work) would it still be okay. A poster above you mentioned that he wouldn't cancel on Beyonce though, lol. So maybe not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:11 PM
1

Sorry for any confusion but the date was scheduled for a Sunday - (but he previously stated he worked Mon-Fri which is why I added that point)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:08 PM
4

Oh, I didn't know that, interesting.. Thanks for the heads up! The date was scheduled on a Sunday, which is why I was so taken aback. But your last point was a punch to the gut - that is very true. Thanks for the advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 10:06 PM
28

This made me feel anxious to watch. My heart is pounding for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:56 AM
9

Me too 😂 and then even harder when I saw OP's name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:07 PM
16

Honestly? When I see that flair, my eyes kinda glaze over. But I do skim read the previews. Sometimes there is a genuine question that has answers I am interested in... but mostly I skip past the majority of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 09:04 PM
1

I dunno.. I'm conflicted. It was good that he helped her, but he: said he had a wife so no duh that she wouldn't save her contact still lied even if it was to make her comfortable - I'd feel even weirder knowing that he now 'knew' where she lived (hopefully she took him to the wrong house near her own) coerced her into getting into his car seems to expect a pat on the back for not raping her/doing anything wrong says himself he's not a true gentleman and that he expected appreciation. It's great…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 05:33 PM
22

I literally just went on an upvoting spree in this thread 😂😂😂 ​ ​ Some of the ones I've noticed: - 'Open-minded' = cheating/poly-amorous/wants a threesome - 'Ask me' = I mean, wtf man, ask you what exactly? - 'X'X because apparently that matters' = 🙄 it does. You know it does. Whether that's superficial or not, that's the reality so state your height (or not) and keep it moving. - 'Is there anyone even on here?' = pity party, this guy has no matches for a reason. - 'Looking for a plus 1' = no, y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 08:22 PM
3

Imagine if we had some kind of quiz or test that you had to do and pass before you were allowed to post 🤔 That would be interesting. It could test some of the basic FDS principles to make sure that the poster has read the handbook. Ideally in a way that presents the questions as scenarios so it's not as cut and dry as: What should you do when a man disrespects you over text: a) send a paragraph explaining why he has disrespected you b) block him c) send a nude 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 07:54 PM
47

I'M DEAD, bwahahaaha. QUEEN. Also, username checks out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 07:20 PM
15

This post made me happy <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 08:57 AM
3

The mental image of this made me actually laugh out loud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 05:57 PM
20

This needs to be pinned! The time that I have spent on this sub has already got me thinking most of these but it's so nice to have them all eloquently written out like this. Thank you so much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 06:38 AM
11

I can totally relate to where you are coming from as I am also tired of OLD and the disappointing men that can be found there. However, being in a relationship shouldn't be the be-all end-all and not being in one certainly shouldn't make you want to commit suicide. I suggest you have a break, do some self-care, maybe up the therapy if possible and return if/when you are in a better state of mind. Take care of yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 06:47 AM
60

Yikes. Also, weekly happy hours with his ex??? What on earth?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 06:42 AM
7

LMAO, me too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:49 AM
29

I want to say that this can't be real.. but I cease to be surprised by male depravity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 08:08 AM
1

Haha, I was nodding along enthusiastically until I got there and was like, wait 🤔🤔🤔 Surely it should be sheep's clothing? Or HVM's in this case? Either way, your message still stands!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 08:06 AM
7

Completely agree. I just cancelled a date with a self-proclaimed INTJ this week. Even through messaging, I could sense something wasn't quite right. It also tickled me that he put so much stock in it... when according to it, we were wildly incompatible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 08:00 AM
2

If it seems too good to be true- vet, vet, vet & wait patiently til you’re absolutely sure he’s a HVM instead of LVM masquerading in wolf’s HVM's clothing. Fixed 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 07:27 AM
1

Agree with the sentiment but in this particular scenario in the show she is excited by the thought of being 'treated like a nasty little bitch' and disappointed when he said it was a joke. Just FYI for those who want to watch based on this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 06:59 PM
18

Surely this flare should be 'Male Depravity'? But anyway, this kind of news always sickens me. I hate how I'm not even surprised anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 06:39 AM
8

This 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 09:34 PM
2

Hahaha, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:24 PM
5

I read this like it was spoken word poetry. *clicks fingers*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 08:12 PM
5

Agreed. OP, we need more info!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 08:04 PM
5

Hahahaha, fair enough 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:59 PM
19

Grindr works precisely because it is men seeking men. They're on the same wavelength.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:58 PM
3

Oh really? Did that make a difference?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:55 PM
32

I've been there. This is scary new territory. Put it this way, this is the first time that you're single in your twenties. As someone who has been dating for a while now, my only advice is to remember that being alone should not be something to be afraid of. Ended up with the wrong person is worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 08:19 AM
47

Honestly, I downloaded the OKCupid app yesterday and had deleted it within 2 hours. W The amount of guys who came up on my feed who had NONE of the requirements or ideal traits I had set, actually made me mad. You spend all that time asking questions and filling out things, for what? What a colossal waste of time. /rant This post explains a lot though 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 08:11 AM
10

Thanks for this. I needed to hear this today!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 06:55 PM
2

This is always good to hear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:27 PM
59

Wow. I have no words. ​ ETA: no actually I do. THROW THE WHOLE MAN AWAY WITH HIS TRASH GIFTS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 07:05 AM
-3

Agree with you completely. *As for the throwaway thing, I had that too until I made my first post here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:34 AM
13

Serious question but, at what point do we start shaming people for doing nice things?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 08:51 AM
23

Don't go to his instagram guys, he has vids of him peeing on his friends while they are asleep and puking on their heads. I'm disgusted. I can't even.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 08:47 AM
3

I know, I was so shocked I had to comment 😂 I mean a whole week?! 24 hours is the Bumble standard but I'd actually genuinely missed matches a few times, which is why I settled on 48 hours on other apps. But yeah, basically I want a guy that, when he sees we've matched, gets excited and can't wait to message me. Not one that's like 'meh, another match, I'll message her later'. If it's not a FUCK YES, it's a hell no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:10 PM
5

Girl, I give them 2 days before unmatching.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 02:52 PM
19

This is my pet peeve. I leave him on read. Usually he'll subconsciously get it and message me again with a question. If he doesn't, good riddance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 07:01 AM
36

Whoa, did we date the same person? I had the exact same experience. Now I look back and can reel off the multitude of other ways my ex emotionally abused me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 06:56 AM
14

Me too. I read this and wanted to give up on men and nope out. Where's the eject button, guys? I want off this planet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:26 PM
74

Ew. Any volunteers, ladies? This opportunity is clearly too good to pass up /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:12 PM
3

Sis, we don't write paragraphs here. Judging from the edge of the text box that we can just about see, his response to your well-written, thoughtful reply was one word. That should tell you everything. ​ ETA: Jesus, I've just seen that there were more screenshots. I couldn't read all of that. No point when the summary of his replies is probably basically blah blah, you suck, blah blah, everything is your fault, blah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 08:44 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 05:45 PM
64

This is terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 07:54 AM
3

Very happy to have helped, m'love <3 Not gonna lie, revisiting this thread and re-reading the responses has also helped keep me strong when my mind does incredible mental gymnastics to justify unblocking him, haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 09:23 PM
1

Friends is a tricky one. But at the core of it, I'd say yes. If you feel ignored or taken for granted by someone's behaviour, is that really friendship?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:57 PM
1

Haha, you may be right as I thought we were discussing the situation raised in the OP 😅 As I said in my original comment, I love what the OP has written - I just questioned the wisdom of last few lines. Masculine vs feminine energy is definitely an enlightening topic though so I urge anyone reading this to look it up :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 07:13 PM
3

Just wanted you to know that it had nothing to do with you not guiding him 🙂 That line in your previous reply didn't sit well with me because even from here, I could tell the problem definitely wasn't you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 07:08 PM
2

This is a bop! 🎵
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 07:03 PM
6

I guess my thoughts were less about masculine/feminine energy and chase/being chased and more about the motivation for giving a man who doesn't prioritise you anyway more space in this scenario. He doesn't prioritise you. You don't do pickmeisha behaviour and create distance. He comes back (?)... and then what? Congratulations, you have a man who doesn't prioritise you and needed you to distance yourself to be interested again in you? This is what I am honestly confused about. Or can someone exp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:31 PM
4

*slow clap* I felt this. Could not have said it better myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:20 PM
4

I think it's hard to work out what works for you with a partner, without the active enthusiasm of your partner. While guiding is definitely helpful, you shouldn't have to if they are actively inquiring and exploring your body to see what works for you. It's like when I casually dated, if a guy wasn't enthusiastic to go down on me, I saw no point in asking him to. I wasn't comfortable enough to relax and orgasm if I knew he didn't really want to do it in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:18 PM
79

The ex in my last LTR used to get annoyed when I wasn't in the mood as often as he was - and please bear in mind that I had an extremely high sex drive. So to be 'fair' to him, I told him that if he could get me aroused with some foreplay then we could have sex. Tell me why after 6 years he literally had no idea. It turns out I was usually so ready for it anyway, he'd never had to make any effort to get me aroused. When it came to getting me aroused from scratch, the man had not a clue. I rememb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:14 PM
62

Love all of this though I do have a question about the penultimate line. Do we want a man that needs distance to prompt him to want to be closer? Serious question. ​ ETA: Really enjoyed reading the mini discussion below :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 05:00 PM
7

What in the hell? O_o
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:57 PM
2

It's okay sis, you're not alone. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:55 PM
8

LOL, so true. It's crazy how society has brainwashed women as a whole. We're out here questioning our feelings and reactions when there are men walking around behaving with such AUDACITY. Games are so insidious though. They creep in and before you know it, you are playing a game you never signed up for. I think when I found myself imposing limits ('he replied 2 days ago, so I will reply in 3 days' type of thing) , I was like, nah sis to myself. What kind of relationship can come from this?! NEXT…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:53 PM
7

It's mad, isn't it? Across the globe, it's the same damn behaviours and attitudes. But yes, no obligation at all. Look out for number 1: you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 06:52 AM
7

I know exactly what you mean. Especially when - after all that effort and exhaustion - you eventually find someone you really like and they still disappoint you. When just the idea of starting from scratch is so daunting, you know it's time to take a break.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 06:49 AM
8

I don't know if that the point of these particular messages but I totally agree in any case. The hard part is taking heed of the glimpses of his true colours and doing something about it before it gets to the point in your example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 06:45 AM
47

Too true! Also, talk is cheap. It doesn't matter if he says that he wants to be with you, to be good for you, love and appreciate you if he doesn't back it up consistently with his actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 10:41 PM
56

Preach! While I am disappointed, I felt such a rush. And I ugly laughed when I imagined him finally coming back to reply to me, only to see that I have disappeared.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 10:40 PM
185

Just blocked someone who I have been regularly messaging for over a month and who I thought was a really lovely guy because he did this. All the uncertainty/anxiety/just general confusion that I was feeling disappeared instantly. Say no to this behaviour now. Save your time and mental energy because it's not going to get better. Remember: just because he's lovely or a nice person when he does talk to you, it doesn't negate the other stuff. Keep your standards high and if you hear yourself making…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 08:18 PM
2

This. Whether you realise it now or ignore the advice in this thread and realise it in 3 more years (as someone said above), you will eventually realise it and remember this moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 01:02 PM
15

Ugh, this brings back memories. I believe this is also a control thing. Back in my pickme days, I tried to please an ex with a surprise sexy costume. Tell me why this guy proceeded to say not a damn word about the costume and ignore me for hours to play his video games. Then he acted surprised when I took it off and left. For months he then complained that I never wore the costume again. This same guy would also love to reject me for sex whenever I initiated but then got confused when I then sto…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 07:18 PM
11

I understand what you're saying but I would say I only agree if by 'approach', you mean give clear signals to him that you are interested. Consistent eye contact, smiles, touch, pretty much everything but verbal. As soon as you verbally ask him out, all the things mentioned in this thread come into play (thinks you're easy/wants the d, not thaaat interested in you but will take it because why not). Even if you're his physical type it still matters as he's even more likely to not say no because h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 07:08 PM
9

I couldn't make it 1 minute in. What is this shit?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 08:02 PM
3

Wait, no.. he actually stayed? Y'all just didn't have sex?! I don't know why this is hilarious to me. While not as bad as stealthing, that's still 100x worse than my situation. I mean, the AUDACITY. I hope you wouldn't be afraid to do that now - although my guess is this wouldn't even be a situation for you these days :) Funny story: even back in my pickme uni days, I once kicked a guy out at 3am for snoring. #sorrynotsorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:53 PM
13

True, I guess there is that. He just bitched and moaned as he made excuses and got dressed. Your situation is infinitely worse. How could you even do that to someone? They really don't think of us as people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 10:05 PM
75

I once had a guy walk out on me after I insisted on using a condom. But don't worry ladies, he reassured me 'it's not you, ItsYesMaam2u: it's the condom'. Trash taking itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 05:45 PM
14

I'm gonna have to start browsing in classic mode because these photos are scaring the life out of me. Can they be censored or something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 02:42 PM
5

I had a guy put his hand down my skirt and into my underwear during a goodnight kiss on the 2nd date. We were outside and there were people around WATCHING. I struggled and escaped but, wtf man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 10:31 AM
93

Don't be a pick-me, be a pick-her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 09:42 AM
16

My most recent ex of 3 months told me after a few weeks of dating that 'I expect too much from him'. It took all I had not to laugh in his face. I was with a LVM for 6 years and EVEN HE did more than this scrote. Needless to say I broke it off later when he got me nothing for Valentine's day :) NEXT!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 07:51 AM
24

Ask yourself, are you really willing to gamble with your precious time? I know it's hard but don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy. Don't be that sad gambling addict at the table who has lost too many chips already and is trying to win them back. Lastly, ask yourself if he brings more value to your life than he takes away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 11:29 AM
13

There are some good responses in this thread. I don't have much to add here but just wanted to note that my ex (with whom I spent 6 years) right up until the end would always stop, look, whistle/verbally appreciate my naked or partially naked body EVERY TIME he saw it. I'd roll my eyes at his antics but even though he'd seen me thousands of times, he still appreciated the view. So imo those guys just suck. Disclaimer: objectively my body wasn't anything special, but it was to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:44 AM
27

These men are delusional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:33 AM
14

Agreed, I had the same thought..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 08:30 AM
2

I understand what you mean. As you've undoubtedly realised it's a whooole different ballgame. But we live and we learn :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:11 PM
5

Glad you've done the research! There are definitely options for you as someone allergic to latex. As far as I'm aware, that's not an uncommon issue. Hopefully someone else can chip in with some recommendations because it's always good to have options. I agree with waiting until you're in a relationship though; eventually not having to use them is definitely one of the perks of a committed relationship for me, haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:00 PM
170

The first time I saw my ex cry I felt terrible. Here was this tall 6'4, broad man reduced to tears because I had apparently upset him so much. By the fifth time, I was unmoved. There's a difference between a man expressing his emotions and being vulnerable by crying in front of you, and just plain old manipulation. The speed in which those crocodile tears dried up after seeing what little effect they had, amazes me to this day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:05 AM
72

There's nothing worse than consistently having to listen to someone who won't help themselves. It's literally wasted energy into the ether and your energy is finite. You've gotta use it on yourself, people and issues that will actually make a positive impact on your life. You did good :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 07:59 AM
33

Just proves that it's easier to hate on those who make the effort than improve yourself. Le sigh. This is why effort is currency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 09:16 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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