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Ive_Had_Enuf Archive

View 3 posts and 123 comments by Ive_Had_Enuf on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Oh it's definitely my hamster. I can argue to myself that my not applying was due to me being uncomfortable supervising people that are more senior to me. I can try to rationalize my not applying based on an assumption that the position would be filled by someone more with more experience and therefore I would have no shot. But the fact remains that this just wasn't the right time for me: I wanted to be around my family more while my kids are young. In a few months I should be eligible for a pos…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 06:55 PM
1

It's been a few weeks since I've posted in here. Partially because there wasn't really much new to say. Partially because I was busy with work. That doesn't mean there's not shit I need to own up to - there always is. WORK Work has been going alright. After months of having acting bosses, I finally have someone permanent. Now, this guy started his career at the same time I did, but worked in another office. We've both worked for the Agency for about seven years. We've hung out on prior occasions…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 01:09 PM
1

This isn't so bad. Your wife heard something. You went out to protect your family like a man ought to. Thank God there was nothing wrong. Sure you had a covert contract in that you felt she should show appreciation for your bravery, but you recognized it and you're squashing it.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 12:22 PM
1

My wife was on OrthoTriCyclen for years. Initially we had sex all I wanted. She went off it when we decided to have kid one. Then back on for a few years (no not identifiable change in libido). Then she went off BC again when we had kid two. After she had our second child her libido hit rock bottom. No sex for a year while she breastfed. After she stopped breastfeeding, she went back on OrthoTriCyclen - but things were different. She was distant. She has no energy. Sex was just trickle sex - onc…
/r/askMRP02/04/16 02:48 AM
1

I'll never understand those that don't enjoy reading. Sure there are a few books that have been a challenge for me (Infinite Jest comes to mind), but once I finished it it became one of my favorite books of all time. One recommendation for some of the guys that are starting to read longer books to their children - over the holidays I picked up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - the Illustrated Version (http://www.amazon.com/Harry-Potter-Sorcerers-Stone-Illustrated/dp/0545790352). My five ye…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 12:22 AM
2

I think you did pretty good. Just s few points: SMV isn't all about physical fitness You say: my SMV is at the highest it's ever been. followed by: We haven't had sex in over a month(where she initiated, was great sex too). I've initiated 4 times in the last three days(just finished period) with no luck, Perhaps you need to reassess your SMV. It's not all about physical fitness. It's about your your attitude too. Remember to be fun. You may think you are, but it's not how she perceives it. For e…
/r/askMRP29/03/16 01:39 PM
1

I've also found this. Still - in an abundance of caution, I've decided to take a week off of anything using my arms: no shoulder presses, no benches, no rows. Don't get me wrong - I'll still hit the gym. I'll do legs. I'll do some cardio. The last thing I want is to fall out of my routine of waking up at 5:00 and exercising. If I break that habit, it'll be hard as hell to get back into it. After a week, I'll start phasing in some of the compound lifts. Working the bench. Doing some rows. Doing s…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/16 12:54 AM
2

Overall I'm happy with some things. Disappointed with others. Overall it's a plus. The good - I eat well. She's a good mother to my kids. She's clean. She doesn't drink or use drugs. She still looks good and I'm attracted to her. She's incredibly neat and keeps a clean house. The bad - I don't get as much sex as I want. She's sick often. She has a temper. You have to look at the good and the bad. Then work on fixing the bad.
/r/askMRP27/03/16 03:05 AM
4

I'm also quite sure that this is being talked of with her friends, maybe even introduced by one of her friends to her. This rustles my jimmies, too. It's alright man. You got sick. She is blowing it off as nothing. Maybe she sees it as a sign of weakness. Maybe she's talking shit. But the important thing is that you should not give a fuck about her feelings about it Problem is - you do. So now you ask: what do I do? Should I confront her? Should I ignore her? Should you just own it? Let's layout…
/r/askMRP27/03/16 02:45 AM
1

It always amazes me how women use sex as a method to exert control. Like sirens using their song to get us to captain our ship to the shores where they can devour us once we get close. Just like Ulysses telling his sailors to put wax in their ears so as not to crash their ship upon the Sirens' shoals, you are just beginning to see the danger ahead and to captain your ship effectively. You're recognizing her sexual come-ons as a mechanism to control you. And you are beginning to cut loose. Like y…
/r/askMRP26/03/16 01:29 PM
2

Your wife wanted to fuck. She Dressed sexy. You acted like you didn't give a fuck. She cuddled with you a little. You started to get a clue. When it came down to it, She gave you LMR. You pushed through it. Cool story bro.
/r/askMRP25/03/16 10:51 PM
2

A&A has worked great with divorce compliance tests: Wife: "If you do X (some minor trivial thing), that's grounds for divorce." Me, smiling: "Wow! it's that easy? That's all I needed to do to get rid of you this whole time!?! Who knew!" Me: Proceeds to do X Needless to say - divorce doesn't happen This interaction would have never gone down like this before the pill. I would have complied like a good little puppy.
/r/askMRP24/03/16 10:24 AM
1

Yeah - that's what I've been doing: Laying off of some of the bigger lifts that require me to extend the elbow, doing a few wrist and forearm exercises, and just trying to get to a point where it's comfortable again. I don't want to aggravate it more than it already is. Basically I'm in maintenance mode until this blows over.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/16 10:13 AM
1

you try and love your wife the way a little boy loves his mommy then she will be disgusted by your weakness. Instead, treat wifey like a daughter and everything falls into place This is excellent advice.
/r/askMRP22/03/16 01:15 PM
1

It's going to be a busy day, so I'll make this quick and only focus on the shit that's problematic: LIFTING I've hit a few setbacks. I tweeked my sciatica in my lower back, which means deadlifts and squats are being skipped. Plus, I've come down with a small case of tennis elbow which has limited my effectiveness on rows. What I'm doing about it: I'm still hitting the gym every day. Just working the machines a little more instead of heavy compound lifts. I hope to recover in another week or two …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/16 12:48 PM
1

Wife claims that she doesn't like big dudes, and prefers my "lean physique" Who cares what physique she likes? Focus on attaining the physique that you like. Should I start lifting, or focus on behavior? Why does this have to be an either / or? Can't you do both?
/r/askMRP20/03/16 02:02 PM
1

And when it isn't a shit test, it's usually her just blatantly telling embarrassing stories about me to others that I would rather her not discuss openly. Why do you give a fuck what other people think of you when she tells these embarrassing stories? You should just own your shit, but instead you ... usually express my distaste for that type of behavior, It's one thing to set a boundary if you are the type of man that can set one. It's another to act butthurt and let her know that she's breakin…
/r/askMRP15/03/16 02:24 PM
1

It's been a few weeks since I last posted, mostly because there really wasn't much to update on. Having said that, I suppose there's always a few things I need to own up to. Things that are going well WORK - I've been doing pretty good. Sure there are hiccups, but the cases I'm currently litigating seem to be moving along favorably. The administrative shit is also going well. I'm getting a new boss today, so we will see how that goes. SOCIAL - Still working on getting out when I can. Had a time …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 12:14 PM
3

Oh and keep your fucking one thing at a time responses to your self. Castles aren't built in a day. They are constructed slowly - brick by brick - and after careful planning. You say your career is shit. Ask yourself: What little thing can you to today to make it better? You figure that out, implement, then set up a new your baseline - maybe your career is still shit, but it doesn't smell so bad anymore. Keep doing this and before long, you might tolerate it - shit you might enjoy it. (If not-fi…
/r/askMRP14/03/16 08:40 PM
2

Have you read the sidebar? You seem like the classic self sacrificing nice guy - always putting her needs in front of yours. Also, where are you in your MAP? If your not reading, start by doing that NOW. It looks like you have quite a history of victim puking to your wife. I have basically just said, I have not been happy with who I am, and I have sacrificed myself to the point that I have lost myself, so, I need to be true to myself with my time, and focus on who I am to be the best me I can be…
/r/askMRP09/03/16 07:10 PM
2

Is your wife weaponizing sex? Is she using sex to manipulate you into doing things? If so, monk mode is a power play that takes that weapon away from her. If it's not something she's holding over you and it's "something to avoid than to face the rejection" then I wouldn't recommend it. Continue to initiate and remain OI in the face of rejection
/r/askMRP09/03/16 02:22 PM
2

Her: I wanna go to zumba class Me: How much it cost? Her: she says the price (it was cheap and reasonable price but she has been struggling with money lately, still she could afford it) Me: You will have nothing to eat if you go You say it's "cheap and reasonable" and that she "could afford it," yet you tell her "you will have nothing to eat if you go." Which is it? Is there something else behind you not wanting her to attend Zumba. Her: I dont like your bad comments You are not positive and I f…
/r/askMRP09/03/16 01:24 PM
2

It looks to me like you missed a few opportunities: I have been home for a day or two but have not gone for sex due to exhaustion and timing (damn kids). Ok. You're tired. You don't have time. But what you do have are excuses. "That's cool." I said, and believe I acted cool as well. I closed the shower door, and showered. Was it cool? Did you act cool? Let's see... She peeped her head in and one point and just watched me, then said, "I really wish we did have time." Then left. Seems like she's t…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 05:12 PM
3

First off, not every complaint by a woman is a shit test, particularly if the complaint is not about you. Stop being so sensitive. She will text me out of the blue to present some naughty behaviour ("XXX will not do what I tell him"), and leave it like that. I feel compelled to try provide support and tell her what to do, but i feel like I am failing a shit test here. Is she asking for your guidance here? If so, it's an opportunity for you to lead. If not, its just general bitching and venting t…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 01:14 PM
3

For all you know, I could be a fat black lesbian named Ron. ...I had a feeling about that. On the real though - thanks for all the valuable advice you've provided on here. Can't wait to read the new posts, the new book, and see the new phase of your blog! It's great to have spaces such as these for us "gentlemen" to express ourselves.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/16 12:47 AM
1

It's not a matter of finding time to watch TV. I have time to do it. I just think that time is better spent doing productive things - particularly when I'm watching shit I'm no longer interested in. Watching TV for an hour or two every night makes me feel useless. If I do it at lunch, on the train, in awaiting room - I'm still being useless, I'm just doing it in a different location. I prefer to read / socialize when in these places.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 07:11 PM
1

I'm light years ahead of where I was when I started this back in September, but there's always room to improve. THE BAD WORK: Not much to say here. The bosses were out and I slacked off. Plan of Action: Now that everyone is back in, start kicking ass at work. Close cases. Deal with issues before they arise. GETTING OUT WITH THE GUYS: A few years back, most of my friends moved downtown, while I moved to the suburbs with my family. They continued their party hard ways while I slowly melted into a …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 01:21 PM
1

10-second kiss daily for 2-3 days I've tried with varying success. Sometimes she's game for it. Sometimes she doesn't want to be bothered. It used to discourage me when she said no. But over the past few months I've stopped giving a fuck and been pretty OI about it. Perhaps that is a problem, perhaps not. BUT if you eat shit, no wonder you don't have energy and want to sedate yourself with TV Very well put - I'm just better off not sedating myself in front of the TV. I do still have energy and s…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/16 07:50 PM
2

I can't agree with you more. Over the past few months, I've made a habit of getting out and doing fun shit with the kids - which is probably why my daughter is currently displaying a preference for my company. I'm sure my wife has observed this and, just last night, she took my daughter out for dinner and to a toy store for some bonding time. This, without me having to say a word to her about spending more time with the kids. It's just another example of her beginning to shadow my actions. (Of c…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/16 07:33 PM
6

It's like a game of whack-a-mole. I improve on one thing and another thing starts to slip. So that's why I have to own my shit to assess where I am an what I need to improve on. THE GOOD FINANCES are still steadily improving. I was able to put some money away in my rainy day fund from my tax return. I'm also spending less and working slowly to pay off debt. My wife has started picking up additional hours and reality has started to set in for her that she will need to start working full time once…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 02:33 PM
2

and now being sick, I've slacked in helping with the kids and have not led the family well as a result the past 8-10 days. The problem is, I let myself feel like I deserved a break because of those things. I need to stop making excuses and be "on point" at all times, even if this means delegating some things, as opposed to just checking out. Good job recognizing this. Being sick is tough, but we cannot expect any sympathy. Lifting Not happening. Too many excuses. The hardest part is starting. On…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 04:55 PM
2

We could turn them off, but generally I prefer them on in case an intruder comes into the house when the alarm is not set, or in case one of the kids tries to walk outside without us being around (never has happened, but it's still good to know). In other words, a few beeps (when I turn the alarm off) and two chimes early in the morning are a small price for the alternative. I'd rather keep them and deal with the occasional shit test about it waking the kids up (which I doubt happens as much as …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 04:43 PM
1

With some aspects, there was improvement. On others, complacency. That's why I need to own my shit. SHIT I NEED TO OWN I'VE BEEN DISTRACTED: My phone finally kicked the bucket after three and a half years. So, it was time to get a new one. Cool. Works great. I love the improvements over what I had before. Thing is, I've found myself fiddling with it when playing with my kids, when eating dinner, etc. Plan of action: When I get home, I'll put the phone away and focus on reality instead of my new …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 04:03 PM
5

This woman has emotional hang ups that come out when she's drunk: Six months back, drunk wife wants me to set my cell phone alarm for a seminar she wants to go to She cannot set an alarm clock because she is drunk. This turns into a completely out-of-the-blue drunken aggressive "you're a pathetic loser! you set your alarm for your kids! set it for ME dammit". She's aggressive when she's drunk. I'm not sure this was "out of the blue" because there seems to be a pattern of behavior she exhibits wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 02:17 PM
1

I'm considering doing this, firstly, just getting some semi-professional pictures seems pretty cool. If this is the reason you're going to do this - great. Go for it. Do what you want to do. Secondly, I think this could be a really great way to introduce some dread into the relationship, as I feel that my LTRs efforts lately have been lacking. If this is the reason you're doing this, I'd be careful about covert contracts. If your LTR doesn't respond how you expect her to, what is your reaction g…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/16 02:53 PM
1

It's pretty remarkable. I'm up before 5 am every day, spend at least an hour in the gym, an hour commuting to work, at least 8 hours at work, an hour back home still have tons of energy to burn doings shit with the kids / family / friends once I get home. Compare that to before I started lifting: I'd get up, struggle into work where I'd wait until my second cup of coffee to be even marginally functional, then get home exhausted and somewhat grumpy, and struggle there until I hit the bed. There's…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 07:20 PM
2

This morning, I let her decide for me that I was taking the daughter to daycare because she didn't have her makeup on. Butthurt, I stormed out. I need to handle these a lot better and develop a strong frame that she lives within. Rather than think of this as just an additional thing you need to take care of, perhaps view it as an opportunity to spend an additional few minutes of quality time with your kid. Now, I'm not sure how old she is, or what your morning routine normally is, but perhaps on…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 04:58 PM
3

Ask yourself this: In the past, has telling your wife "I am sorry" improved anything at home other than temporarily placating her by caving into her demands? Or does she just continue to demand apologies for more minor shit? Do you think this increases her respect for you? When you tell your wife "I am sorry" does it make you feel better about yourself? Does it improve your mood? Does it make you more fun and interesting? Do you think it's attractive to run around apologizing for everything?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 04:03 PM
3

You don't really HAVE to say anything. Her demanding an apology is just a shit test: you can respond by STFU, or AA / AM. Now, if it's truly your fuck-up and YOU feel the need to say something (on your own initiative), just own your mistake without saying your sorry for it. However, you said: I like this new version of me personally. I feel so much better about myself. If YOU like how you are handling these situations, if it's making YOU feel better, then just continue doing YOU.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 03:46 PM
1

Thanks for the input. My plateau is predominately with the amount of reps I can do at a particular weight - and right now it's restricted to my bench press. I've failed to make gains over the past few weeks. However, I'm still seeing some minor improvements with my squats, deadlifts, rows, etc. and have been slowly increasing the weight with those. I actually just started to take the shake today and will double check the ingredients when I get home.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 03:15 PM
2

Shit has been going well. I've been working on myself and many the other things seem to be falling in place. Still, there were a few minor setbacks this week; GETTING OUT: Over the past month, I've been really pushing to get out of the house and hang with my buddies. I've been hitting up bars, restaurants, and seeing movies. This week, for whatever reason, I wasn't in the mood to get out. I justified it to myself by saying I was content to just hang with my family and relax. However, taking a st…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 02:27 PM
2

Yeah. It may not help. In fact, She did hit up an allergist and her local physician. Neither could help. One of the times she went to her allergist, she had my wife try a small amount of wine (one of the things she has developed an intolerance for and causes rashes on her face) while there and there were no effects. This was when she was taking the placebo sugar pills and what ultimately made me think there may be some sort of reaction to the pill. If her taking a break from the pill results in …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/16 05:37 PM
4

Wasn't this covered in WISNIFG?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/16 06:49 PM
1

Thanks for the input. I appreciate it. Per her OBGYN's suggestion, she has gone completely off BC for a few months to see if that has any effect on her. It's shark week now, but I'll be interested to see if there are any changes after her period and once BC is not in her system. After a few months, we may look into other forms of birth control, including IUDs (either hormonal or copper) depending on what the doctor recommends.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/16 04:31 PM
1

Although it's not specifically all about married game, I've found Beige Phillips to be pretty good - particularly some of the older stuff.
/r/askMRP28/01/16 01:21 PM
1

SHIT THATS IMPROVING: LEADING: Over the past week I've made additional strides in captaining my ship. Not a day/night goes by that I don't have some idea about what I am going to do. This leaves no wiggle room for me to defer to my first officer by saying: "I don't know, what do you want to do?" Or "What do you feel like having to eat?" If she wants to join me, great. If she had another suggestion, I'm all ears. LIFTING: I put a lot more time into the gym last week. I lifting more than I ever ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 02:40 PM
1

Thanks for the great response. I completely agree about her weaponizing sex. It's rare that I'll get a simple denial. Instead, it's usually in the form of some shit test. Now, this kind of goes with her character. My wife is a hard ass and approaches problems by yelling at them. Still, that is no excuse for her behavior towards me. Generally when she's yelling at me (which occurs much less often than it did before taking the pill - and consists almost exclusively of shit tests when I try to init…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/16 01:57 PM
3

Just speaking from experience. I used to have one or two drinks every night. I was becoming a "skinny-fat" fuck. Then I thought to myself, why am I drinking: I wasn't doing it to get drunk. I wasn't doing it socially since no one is was drinking with me. Rather, I was just used to having some liquid at the end of the night after the kids went to bed to wind down. I substituted hot tea for the booze and haven't looked back. I look better. I feel better. And I have more money in the bank because d…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 08:05 PM
1

agree with scurvemuch. why did you tolerate such a bullshit value leeching attitude? a mantra i repeat over and over again is that women will act as shitty as men will let them My thought was that I didn't want to appear that her behavior rattled me. Generally when she has been acting this way, my response has been to STFU and going to do something else. I've noticed that these tantrums have started become less frequent. However, it may be time for me to start nuking this behavior. also, your wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 07:16 PM
1

It was the end of the night and at the moment we were getting ready for bed. After she said it, I considered a few options: 1) leaving the house was one, but I had an early day (500am) at gym/work the next day, 2) arguing about it was another option, but I don't know if that would have accomplished anything except letting her know she's getting on my nerves - I didn't want her to think her little tantrum got me butthurt, 3) the third option was to go do something else around the house, and ultim…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 07:03 PM
3

Drinking too much. I have a drink every night. I need to reduce this because I feel like I am in a mental fog all the time. Not only does drinking every night cloud your mind, it's also fattening. You could shave hundreds of calories off a day by not drinking. Substitute your daily consumption of alcohol with something healthy such as tea and watch some of the extra weight start to fall off Lifting. I need to stop making excuses and get to a gym. In the meantime, I can at least start with bodywe…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 03:58 PM
3

There were some ups and downs this week. The gaming of my wife has been completely off this week. I did some kino early on in the week and was immediately brushed off with a cold stare. Later on in the week, I also tried to initiate sex which was met with a rage filled rejection with her yelling "What the fuck have I done to indicate I wanted to have sex tonight!" at me. Her hamster rationalized this by saying she has a cold. However, the truth of the matter is she is not attracted to me: a cold…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 02:46 PM
1

First off - read all the materials on the side bar. This will get you in the mindset of improving yourself. Since my wife went on birth control (we don't want a child for a long time) her sex drive has plummeted For certain women, BC can lower libido. Google it and you'll find dozens of articles and forum posts on it. So, if this is in fact a reason (though I suspect it's not the ONLY reason), maybe get her off that shit or explore other options: IUDs, different types of BC pills, or condoms. I …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 07:58 PM
3

She simply does not GAF that I am not in the room ...Thereby giving you more time to concentrate on other productive things without distraction.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 06:29 PM
3

Lastly, do not just lie next to her while she's looking at her screens in the guise of "spending time together". This. I've stopped sitting around her when she gets sucked into her phone/tablet. I have better things to do with my time and go do them. 9 times out of 10, once she realizes she is alone (and if I am still home), she will wander to whatever room I'm in seeking my attention.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 05:17 PM
1

This is generally a good plan because (1) by preparing your own food, you have more control over what you are eating, (2) you save money by not going out every day, and (3) since you won't be waiting on cooks/waiters/etc to bring you food, you will have more time to be productive at work. In addition, it doesn't have to be a hard and fast rule. By bringing in your own lunch, you still can have flexibility to go out on those occasions with your boss/colleagues. I work in a fairly high end part of…
/r/askMRP14/01/16 01:58 PM
4

It sounds like she is not attracted to you, but is willing to give you blowjobs/sex in order to keep you happy (at least for now.) The problem is, you're not happy and your ACTIONS indicative of this. My dick was hard and I started touching myself with one hand (which was not in the video). A few more minutes later she snapped at me and said I should be doing what's in the video. That killed my mood. I stopped, kinda sat there for a minute and got up to get ready for bed. You didn't get your way…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/16 05:20 PM
1

Sounds like you're taking some of the right steps then. Most of the issues are when we're together and Mom is around. It's been posted earlier, but this can be addressed by taking your daughter out and leaving mom at home, or by having your wife leave the house and you staying home and bonding with your daughter by doing things with her. I only initiate when she's sleeping or away with family. If this is the case, it's not likely anything "legit" will happen if you go out after being rejected an…
/r/askMRP13/01/16 03:41 PM
2

First off - good work on the reading. Now, as far as your questions go: -I'm a great father and taking very good care of Annie but no matter what I do, she wants mom. I'd like to give her a break but literally have to pry the baby off of her and deal with a shit storm of tantrums. WTF can I do here Kids, especially young ones, go through phases. There will be times that your child wants to be with her mom all the time, and times she wants to be with you. Right now, she is in a mom phase. If you …
/r/askMRP13/01/16 01:30 PM
2

There have been improvements. Slowly (ever so slowly) this is working for me. Sure, there have been bumps in the road over the past four months - no one said it would be easy and I am not infallible. That's why I am here - owning my shit: 1) I need to tone back my cell phone use. Over the past few weeks, I've caught myself reading articles, texting, and surfing social media too much. It's become a distraction for me. People would talk to me and I would tune them out as I read on this little piec…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/16 02:30 PM
1

You asked: Does getting back with an Ex ever yield a positive relationship. The answer is Yes - I am sure there are those out there who ended up having positive relationships with their Ex's. However, everyone's circumstance is different: Why did you break up in the first place? What kind of baggage is there? Is there any resentment towards eachother? Why do you want to get back together? What do you expect will happen if you do get back together? You answered your own questions: Its clear to me…
/r/askMRP11/01/16 07:57 PM
1

In fact it was Bulleit!
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 11:19 PM
1

Haha - lesson 4) always initiate was definitely missing from my post (but not my actions). Perhaps an edit is necessary.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 03:48 PM
4

Yeah. The point of the post, and perhaps it was missed by some, was that despite all the things that did not go how I would have wanted them to, I managed to push through and not let it get to me. There are things I can control (my own actions and reactions to things) and things I can't (my wife's headaches, my friends making other plans, the movie selling out). There's no reason to be upset about what I cannot control. All I can do is make sure that I react correctly to what I can control (disc…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 03:47 PM
1

Meh. Not once did a complaint escape my lips (except here). I remained positive and upbeat throughout the day. The kids were being shitty. I do not reward my kids when they misbehave. I discipline them. Once I was satisfied the message went through and their behavior was not to be tolerated, I took them out to the park and played soccer with them while my wife cooked gnocchis at home. ...And I was rather happy whilst drinking my bourbon.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 03:30 PM
1

I Wasn't really flipping through the channels. Instead I binge watched Making of a Murderer. Either way you look at it, it was unproductive. To the extent I decide to watch television, I'm now limiting it to the few shows I enjoy weekly and basketball. And 3 is definitely related to 5. I'm actively working on remedying 3. I was denied sex the other day (she had a "headache") and I just went to do a hobby instead. I actually felt productive as a result. She, on the other hand, ended up falling as…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/16 01:42 PM
5

It's been a few weeks since I've posted on here, but with the New Year, it's time to own my shit: I've been slacking over the past few weeks. Sure, I managed to hit the gym, but the gains I was making were negated by me eating / drinking like shit. Cookies, cakes, snacks, beer - that's all out the door now. I had my fun, and it's time to start focusing on a healthier diet. Since I swallowed the pill, I have been reading two books at a time: one fiction and one book focused on RP principles. Duri…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/16 04:20 PM
2

She said "p.s. we need to drink that bottle of French wine when you're home next". I got irked because she didn't ask, Instead of getting "irked", you could have just said no. So my question is, do I need to soften a little now that I am in an LTR? I always maintain frame. But maybe my attitude can do with a little softening? You got irked and then explained yourself to her by bringing it up. How is this maintaining frame? Again, you could have just said "no, we'll drink something else," and lef…
/r/askMRP18/12/15 03:17 PM
1

I'm going to ignore all the shit you posted about your wife and her weight - this is all about YOU! About a year and a half ago I took on a new job that afforded me a 40-60 hour a week schedule I spent. With all the free time I had I started playing video games and enjoying my newly found free time. You are wasting all your newly found "free time" engaging in unproductive activities. How is this making you a better person? The problem is for the first time in eight years I had time to spend with…
/r/askMRP18/12/15 03:09 PM
2

The thing is, I appreciate her telling me those things, but I would appreciate more when she demonstrates them rather than just seeking validation through social media. Maybe tell her the truth here. With a sly grin, say "I appreciate you telling me those things, but I would appreciate it more if you demonstrate them." Then smack her on the ass.
/r/askMRP18/12/15 02:40 PM
2

It's nuanced, but /u/whinemoreplease is right. At some point I strayed away from focusing on myself - on progressing for the sake of being a better man and on my own happiness. Rather, the improvements I've been making started to become a covert contract: "Look at a the work I'm putting into myself. Now we should be fucking!" And when it didn't happen that way, I was disappointed. I needed the little kick in the ass to remind me of why I am actually doing all of this.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/15 01:43 PM
1

To be honest, it does affect me. I just wasn't showing it by breaking frame. Generally when I get the hard no, I would just tell her "No ten second kiss, no worries, but there'll be a twenty-second one tomorrow." At first it worked great, but then I just started getting hard no's every single time. After so many rejections, and after realizing she's no even willing to contribute ten fucking seconds a day to our relationship, I started to break frame and say the things referenced in my post. Afte…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/15 01:39 PM
0

You're completely right. Oneitis is something that I've been struggling with, particularly lately. I'm not sure why either, it's not like she has been particularly good to me. Perhaps it's complacency after years of betadom, maybe I'm just used to having her around as some sort of old worn out security blanket, maybe it's Stockholm syndrome? Whatever the case, you are right that I need to stop focusing on her and her feelings towards me. Rather I need to focus on myself and MY own happiness (whe…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/15 05:57 PM
2

Shit I'M STILL OWNING: Since I've taken the pill I've not missed a single day of exercise (with the exception of my off days during the weekend and on thanksgiving). I'm making gains and fan now honestly say I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm killing it at work. Just got a nice end of year bonus! I'm spending ample time doing shit with the kids. Taking them out. Playing with them. Just being a fun father. I'm Reading. I'm still learning. I've done the sidebar, Pool, MAP, SGM, Rational Male, A…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/15 02:13 PM
1

Yeah, this is solid advice. I've been taking zicam and/or 500 mg of vitamin C. It generally seems to work as long as I take it right when I start to feel the symptoms of a cold.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/15 07:56 PM
2

So I'm about two and a half months in. It's working. Slowly. But I've been seeing improvements. SHIT IM OWNING I have been keeping at it. I've been lifting, reading, and being more of a captain at home. Same thing that everyone in here is (or should be) doing. It's funny, when I first started I was very cautious and nervous about conflict. I would avoid it at almost all costs. Now I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I'm focused on myself and, while I would prefer my wife to be happy, I won't do…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/15 02:51 PM
2

Damn! I read this twice. First time, I was like fuck that was harsh. But the second time, it made sense. Not only did she shut you down, she did so "brutally." Fine. No problem. You just played the IDGAF and do something productive. Then she slides in and says we can have sex now "if you must." Seems like shes doing it not out of desire, but because she feels guilty. Plus by framing it in the way she did, it's almost like she's trying to place herself as the person who is in charge. Its manipula…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/15 05:58 PM
1

Thanks for the suggestion! In addition to lifting, I've been running every other day for a little over a year. Typically this is done alone early in the morning (500am) Recently I was driving somewhere and saw a heard of people running. I did a little research and I learned it was a run club that meets every Wednesday at 700pm not far from my home. Dozens of people show up. It looks like a blast and I've been considering joining in. Now, I've held off doing it because I generally spend this time…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/15 03:49 PM
-1

I wouldn't text back. Figure out if YOU want to get the ladder later: If so, just do it because it needs to be done. If you don't feel like getting it, no big deal - you haven't committed to doing anything.
/r/askMRP17/11/15 06:27 PM
2

SHIT IM OWNING: Lifting has now become just part of my day. I'm still making gainz. I'm feeling good about myself. I'm amazed at how many women I see checking me out. My confidence is increasing. Work is great. I just got another raise. The cases are flowing in. The Agency I work for is being prioritized politically - so I doubt any government spending cuts will affect me. Things are looking up. I'm that same vein, finances have been moving in the right direction lately. I've cut back on my spen…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/15 01:55 PM
2

Now this is how to own your shit!
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/15 01:12 PM
3

So she's going out and doing something fun without you. Boo hoo! This post reeks of insecurity. Who gives a fuck what she's doing? You should be more concerned with what YOU are doing? Why don't you use that free time away from your wife to do something fun too? Go out man! Socialize. Meet people. Hang out with friends. Be that awesome guy that everyone WANTS to be around! Point is - fuck her. You should make sure YOU are having a blast and enjoying yourself!
/r/askMRP15/11/15 02:58 PM
1

I think you hit the nail on the head. Every time my wife complains, it's not necessarily a shit or comfort test. Sometimes she's just blowing off steam. She complains about the kids and I typically respond in a similar fashion. If it's a text, I don't respond. If I'm home and she's dressed, I'll tell her to go out shopping or get coffee or whatever. If she's winding down for the day, I'll put her in timeout in the bedroom where she can do her nails, browse Pinterest, or whateverthefuck. It benef…
/r/askMRP09/11/15 08:11 PM
3

It's been a lackluster week. I've felt myself slipping back into Bluepill tendencies. I need to get better and own my shit: SHIT I NEED TO OWN: Initiating sex. Last Tuesday I was just fucking tired. Wednesday I got a hard no. Then Thursday on the wife and I were under the weather (this wasn't her faking it as per the usual she was legit puking all day). The seasons change. The kids get sick. We inevitably catch it. I just had a little cold. I didn't bitch about it, but I just had less energy at …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/15 01:03 PM
1

This!
/r/askMRP30/10/15 08:24 PM
-5

Same response as above: Don't respond. You are at work. You are too busy to deal with her giving you shit. Leave the texting to logistics. It's not rocket science.
/r/askMRP28/10/15 05:27 PM
-5

You're at work. You're too busy to respond to her shit testing you right now. Leave the text messages for logistics.
/r/askMRP28/10/15 02:45 PM
2

Great FR. It looks like things are working out for YOU!
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/15 12:55 PM
5

I'm loving it. I think the best things I've learned on here are (1) that I'm the ultimate judge of my own behavior and (2) that I am not responsible for her emotions. Previously, if she got mad at me for initiating (or anything at all) I would be concerned: "what does this mean?," "Are we getting a divorce?", "She must hate me, what can I do to get back in her good graces?" Then follow it up with all sorts of beta behavior: pleading with her, choreplay, apologizing (even if, in my mind, I didn't…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/15 02:29 PM
3

Thanks for the kick in the ass. Just a few points: My attire is on point. I'm an attorney for a federal agency (love my job btw). Nice suits, shirts, ties and shoes every day. And, while we are lockstep in our pay scale, there is room to be promoted in a few years when I have the required time in service. A point of clarification: She never told me she wasn't attracted to me. This is something I'm internalizing. There's a reason I had not been having the sex I want - I need to improve more to be…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/15 02:09 PM
3

SHIT I NEED TO OWN: I need to find better stuff to do with my time. Im in my third month of this and, in line with that, dread level three. I need to find some hobbies outside of the house to take up. Music, martial arts, yoga - whatever. Sometimes I use my kids as an excuse at times not to go out. For some reason I feel like I need to be around them whenever they are awake. That sort of thinking limits the time I have to myself to the hours of 800pm to 700am. Plus, I find that I prefer not to s…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/15 12:43 PM
4

They always tell us "at least three times." At least in their head they do.
/r/askMRP25/10/15 06:25 PM
3

It's all been said before: You're the man. Men lead. Men initiate. Not initiating with the expectation that she will initiate is a covert contract. What happens when she doesn't initiate? It sounds like you get sex when you want. That's better than a lot of guys in here. Why fuck it up?
/r/askMRP23/10/15 07:44 PM
-2

Flip the script. I'm betting she's doing to you what she wants done to her. Take control and dominate her. Sure she might give you some LMR, but once you get through that I'm betting she'll be all yours. You're the Man: Act like it.
/r/askMRP22/10/15 07:18 PM
1

Haha - I saw that, and he definitely has me beat!
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/15 09:36 PM
4

Next her.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/15 05:54 PM
1

I've been listening to your podcasts over the past few weeks. Great job explaining and summarizing some of the basic MRP concepts. I'd recommend that anyone thinking of swallowing the pill give these a listen.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/15 05:21 PM
3

SHIT I'M OWNING: 1)?A month in and I'm seeing definite gains in the gym. I'm lifting heavier than ever and feeling great about it. Work is going phenomenal. I've volunteered for a few national projects that, if handled well, could result in more recognition and a potential promotion when I become eligible due to time in service next year. Also have been more aggressive in prosecuting my cases. I've been hanging out with my buddies more and not seeking permission from her. I'm just making plans a…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/15 03:13 PM
1

With re the LMR - I totally understand that I should've pushed through. A week ago I had great results ignoring this. This week it was just me being lazy. I own that. It's something I have to work on. I'd like to do it this week, but I have tracked her period to start today or tomorrow (she's already complaining of cramps). Shark week is always a no-go (my preference and hers too). I'll just do other shit with friends once it starts. W/ re Gym: right now I'm doing biceps, shoulders, back on Mond…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 02:18 PM
1

Time to own my shit: THE BAD: I'm boring: I spent too much time sitting with my wife watching TV this week. Sure, we enjoy some shows and new seasons are starting, but this is a boring passive activity. I need to be productive / exciting / fun. Alcohol: I drank too much on Friday. I was so drunk I didn't feel like initiating that night. In fact, my initiations were pretty weak all week long. Sure, I tried to get laid, but I found myself buying into her excuses not to have sex and maybe taking a …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 12:17 PM
1

Diet is good. I don't really eat unhealthy. I generally eat a light breakfast, then have fruit sometime mid morning, a light lunch, then we generally eat an early dinner around 530 every evening. One thing I have to give the missus credit for is that she's a great cook - and most of what she cooks is healthy. After dinner, I won't eat anything else until breakfast the next day - where I repeat the cycle. I've cut my alcohol intake way down and just treat myself to a few drinks during the weekend…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 01:14 PM
2

Time to own my shit. FITNESS: is still going well. Exercising 5 days a week. Lifting in 3 of them. I'm actually starting to see some minor results and am feeling better. CAREER: I've been focusing more on getting shit done at work. I'm being more proactive than reactive. My caseload is decreasing as I'm finishing more cases more quickly. HOME: Things were seemingly going well. I was focusing more on what makes me happy - spending time with the kids, reading, getting out and seeing friends. I eve…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/15 10:19 AM
1

Thanks for the response. Whereas I stupidly as summed it was an anniversary present, it proved not to be the case. I realize I have to get rid of these covert contracts. I'd put my SMV at probably a 6-7, on par with or slightly above hers. Whereas I previously engaged in mostly cardio prior to starting this journey, I've been lifting over the past three weeks - three times a week for about 45 min to an hour. I'm not a fat guy - but do need to scale up in the muscle department. I do realize I nee…
/r/askMRP28/09/15 05:15 PM
1

I'm only about a month in. I'd put myself at dread level 4 right now. I know this is a LOOONG process. I'm willing to put the time into improving myself.
/r/askMRP28/09/15 05:09 PM
1

Good information there. Thanks for sending it over. Being lean isn't really too much of an issue. Before starting this course I was a runner. I'd probably run about 5k three times a week and do light dumbells, push-ups, etc on the other days. I'm now working on packing on muscle. I'm hitting the gym and doing heavier weights three times a week, then running on the off days. I'm eating more protein and less junk. I use the weekend as my rest days (though I might go to the gym to do something ligh…
/r/askMRP28/09/15 12:30 PM
1

You're completely right. I should've just cancelled the dinner once she started saying that she wasn't feeling well and went to do something else productive. I realize the ramifications of what occurred arose out of the covert contracts I had. I WANTED to believe that the rare dinner date we would have would result in sex. I ignored the signals that it wouldn't.
/r/askMRP28/09/15 12:16 PM
1

That's what I'm doing. In fact, I just got back from spending an hour at the gym now. All while she just slept away.
/r/askMRP28/09/15 10:11 AM
1

I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't bothered by it. It irritated the shit out of me. ...I just don't do anything to let her know that. I didn't ACT how she thought I would. I don't want her to know that her acting like a teenager has any effect on Me.
/r/askMRP28/09/15 10:09 AM
1

Yeah - I'm thinking that it's probably too early to nuke it. I'll work on myself, upping my SMV, and spending time with the kids. She's giving me the silent treatment now. That's her go-to response when she's pissed. She thinks it affects me, and maybe it would if I fucked up I some way. But here all I did is try to initiate sex. I didn't do anything wrong and I'm the ultimate judge of my own actions. I can't be responsible for her emotions so she can act as pissy as she wants. In the meantime I…
/r/askMRP27/09/15 01:54 PM
2

The night went as expected, but for other unexpected reasons. We did go to dinner. It was a restaurant I wanted to try. I had already arranged for the babysitter, and booked a reservation. I suppose there was a covert contract in that I did expect sex at the end of the night. I was pretty upfront about my expectations though - flirting throughout the day, telling her what I wanted to do to her in bed. Dinner was delicious. I wanted to go out for drinks after, but the missus didn't. Whatever. I d…
/r/askMRP27/09/15 12:14 PM
2

The dietary issue was just her hamstering a way to get out of sex. In fact, when she brought it up again in the afternoon, I said I'm going to go ahead and cancel the reservation (just to see what would've happened. In reality, I'd have no problem going to the restaurant alone). A little while later, her stomach was feeling better "at the moment." She had no problem consuming the food last night. It isn't a health problem.
/r/askMRP27/09/15 11:48 AM
2

You PC Brah?
/r/askMRP26/09/15 07:04 PM
3

I'm in the same boat as you. Have been suffering from a dead bedroom for a while now. During the time my wife was pregnant and until a year after our son was born - we only had sex once. It was a painful affair for her. Since then, we've had sex once a month. Typically when she's ovulating. For obvious reasons, I wasn't satisfied with this. I started the process of swallowing the pill about three weeks ago. I'm a novice and am still working up my SMV (lifting, focusing on Me). Which leads me to …
/r/askMRP25/09/15 12:59 PM
1

The "I had a shitty day" was probably a comfort test. I responded by showing concern and asking what happened. She didn't reply and started giving me the cold shoulder. As such, I responded as stated in the prompt. When she said "I'm still mad at you," she still hadn't told me why. I didn't want to beg her or seem desperate to find out why she was giving me shit. It wasn't a game I was interested in playing. So I responded as stated above.
/r/askMRP25/09/15 12:02 PM
4

I'm a novice at this, so take my advice for whatever it's worth. THE GOOD: I like that you're trying to pick up guitar again. Fix your gear or get a new axe. Stick with it. It's a helluva lot more productive than gaming. THE BAD: If you wanted to play games, then play games. If you want to watch a movie, then throw a movie on. You don't need her permission. You asked her "am I annoying you?" You're living in her frame. Do what makes you happy. Don't worry about whether she's annoyed. If she does…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 02:54 PM
2

It Sure does. Still, I do admit that when I do, I kind of start to feel guilty about it. I suppose I've just been a beta victim puke with her for so long that it's the conditioned response. I got used to it. It's something else I'm owning up to and working on breaking. Additionally, I'm not showing this side to her. What's the phrase? Fake it till you make it.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/15 09:43 PM
1

I've started. Since I'm new to this, I'd probably say I'm just at Dread Level 1 or 2 though.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/15 09:02 PM
7

Owning my shit: HOME LIFE: The end of last week appears to have been a little rough on the missus. She took offense to something I did last Thursday (still have no idea what that was.). I took it in stride, didn't argue with her about it (like I used to). When I did ask her what was wrong, I did it with a smile and acted completely unconcerned and non-defensive. Her replies were something along the lines of "I'm glad you think this is so funny," and I agreed with her saying that it sure was. She…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/15 10:06 AM
5

I saw this when reading NMMNG - decided to disregard the advice. I'd rather my wife SEE the changes than passively hand her a book to read about changes that I'm proposing to make.
/r/askMRP21/09/15 11:10 PM
2

No Main Event yet - though I'm expecting it. She's been increasingly upset over something for about three to four weeks. I have no clue what it is though. Eventually she will not be able to hold it in any longer. When it happens, I'll recognize it thanks to all of the posts in this sub and in marriedredpill. Her being distant towards me started a little while after the time I started to unplug. I'm not texting her all day. When I do respond it will be over something logistical or with a sexual i…
/r/askMRP21/09/15 03:39 PM
3

Yeah - that was my inclination. If if it was something important, I figure she would just tell me. The fact that she hasn't articulated it means I'm not giving it much weight.
/r/askMRP19/09/15 09:14 PM
3

Owning my shit: So I'm still new to this. I've read through the sidebar materials and have started focusing on ME for a change: FITNESS: For the last year I've been doing cardio (running) and light weights only. That's not enough. So, just last week, I joined a gym and started lifting. So far - so good. I'm now just replacing my 5:00am runs with 5:00am gym visits. FINANCES: I hold down a great job. It pays well (six figures). I do something I love and something good at. The hours are great. I do…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/15 04:11 PM
3

Thank you all for the advice. I appreciate it guys. I agree that the silent treatment issue was probably the wrong way to go about it. I should have simply said what I needed to and then went on unphased. I'm still working on all of this - it's going to be a long process
/r/askMRP04/09/15 03:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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