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IvoShandor Archive

View 1 posts and 84 comments by IvoShandor on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

IvoShandor/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 06:52 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Queen because that’s what my new apartment would fit.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 11:56 AM
6

Me, I think I've written in previous posts. I had my online dating profile up the night I moved out (sunday), had my first date on Tuesday and broke in my new couch that Saturday. Gotta say, it was weird, but fun. She was also recently divorced so we shared the oddity of the experience. I've learned that women hate condoms just as much as the guys, btw. Especially if they're beyond child bearing years. That's just my story, do what you feel.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 10:47 PM
9

It took 2.5 years to be officially "divorced" after I moved out, so it was a meaningless milestone. What did I do after I moved out? - got a girlfriend who also had a girlfriend - got new tattoos - backpacked across the Italian/French/Swiss Alps for 2 weeks - bought a new guitar and displayed it proudly in my new living room
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 07:26 PM
33

what do you look like now vs. when you met her?
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 04:57 PM
2

I had a party around when I got divorced. I didn't call it a divorce party, but I think people understood the spirit of the party. I have a community of musicians, we play in a "dad band" although we have 2 mom singers. I'm not the most social person, I have friends but we all have that common interest. I had everybody over one night for a group jam, at my place as we always play in a studio. Had drinks and food. Everybody knew what it was without officially calling it that. I had a lot of fun a…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 12:09 PM
20

Pro tip: women generally like yoga due to yoga studios being somewhat of a safe space, probably not the spot they want to be hit on.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 11:04 PM
1

I moved out of my EX's on a sunday, had my first date on Tuesday and broke in my new couch on Saturday. I was ready and had my OLD profile up on my first day. Dating was great, it was fun, I definitely got my itch scratched but I live in a big city with lots of options. I know it's not always the case for some. I met some cool people, had a FWB, dated a few more than several times and also had some stinkers. I met my new spouse 1 year after I moved out, we got married 2 years after that.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 10:54 PM
4

Fun. I moved out on a Sunday and broke in my new couch 2 days later. Got lucky, it was her first since her divorce too but a much longer drought for her. We were FWB for a while and we’re still friends, just without the benefits.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 09:54 AM
5

100%. It’ll get your spirits back up and remind you of what may have been missing. I had a full year of that. My FWB situation came to an end, amicably, but we had lots of fun. Not sure if it sped up the process, but it was a welcomed moment and filled a need.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 10:11 AM
1

Be realistic about expectations and know your league.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 10:08 PM
4

Sex does not require a relationship. There are plenty of people looking for the same situation, friends with benefits, etc. discrete encounters.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 09:21 PM
1

Time heals. And new pu$$y. Get some.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:10 AM
2

We did it, we each met our new significant others. Meet for coffee and talk like adults. You'll find some stuff to small talk about. My ex and I both like each others' new people very much as do the kids. It's awkward for the first few minutes, especially seeing your ex with somebody new, but turn the tables and it's as equally awkward.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 05:40 PM
4

I had a full year of dating and sex and just ran wild with it. I had a FWB, another friend who was in an open marriage, and then always meeting new people. When I met somebody I clicked with, but new after a little bit of time it wouldn't be long term or meaningful, I would run it into the ground. Remember, the other side is aware and may have the exact same feelings. I found a meaningful relationship about a year out of the house and that's where I've been since, for a couple of years now. Have…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 01:36 PM
1

Give it a try, but I would be very upfront with the fact that you're still living with your EX. My guess it's a deal breaker for most, BUT ... you might find some 'no strings' type of arrangement, which might temporarily fix your loneliness issue, there's somebody for everybody. I had a FWB with the understanding that was the situation ... I was also dating others, which she knew about.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 01:40 PM
3

This is what we did, it worked very well. We did not tell them until I had fully moved out. I had done it over a weekend while they went away, and sneakily moved much of my stuff and clothes undetected. We told them the Day after my last night in the house. And after we told them all, we all went to my new apartment Lastly, wherever you do tell them, do not do it in the house or anywhere that they would remember…” Oh, this is the place you guys told us you were getting divorced. “. We took a wal…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/25 06:02 PM
8

Yes, get a lawyer. You can both have the same lawyer work it out. Even though you may be amicable and decide the terms, there may be state laws that override what you decide. Any agreement needs to carefully crafted to take this into consideration. Never know when she might come back and alter the terms of the deal. Lawyer is the piece peace of mind.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 04:30 PM
1

Date. Have fun. If you're still living together, it might be weird, but if you're out of the house go enjoy your life! Never understood that rationale of waiting. Waiting for what?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 11:33 PM
21

Exactly. I was told that marriage counselling provides an opportunity for couples to lay out a soft landing rather than a crash. That's exactly what it helped us do.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 02:37 PM
0

I found that divorced moms (or not divorced) with kids are often down for FWB. They just want to get laid too.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 12:19 AM
30

Love him or not, Louis CK has the best, most brilliant thoughts on his divorce ... explained very simply. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSutC7Qsq-0 The only downs are at first, for the first few months, mayhbe year, depending on how long you were together. But, get social, date, not date, be with people and don't get lonely. Like Louis says in the clip, divorce just keeps getting better.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 06:29 PM
2

yes
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 10:26 PM
2

No more than 5-7 years younger, and maybe a year or two older. I live in a big city, so there's a large pool. At 49, I was dating somebody that was 43 and that's as young as I would go. Some conversational references get lost. I'm now 51 and my current GF just turned 50, but we started dating when she was 49. A little over a year difference. As far as hooking up goes, there are no age limits.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 04:58 PM
2

I moved out when I was 49. I have had great success with OLD. My tips: 1) be realistic about your expectations. 2) be yourself
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 02:37 PM
7

Ex and I went to marriage counseling around year 7 of the marriage, we had been together almost 9 by then. Marriage counselor told me, separately, this was a waste and I should have an affair. It took another 5 years before I moved out. But ... if you're going to marriage counseling, it's over. It's just delaying the inevitable. At least one party is unhappy, and will just stay together to avoid confrontation or stay together for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 10:47 PM
5

I scrubbed pictures of Ex from my IG.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 10:01 PM
3

Stay out of r/datingoverforty it's basically like r/Divorce to lurk, but say one thing out of line and you'll get pummeled. edit: fixed
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 11:46 AM
4

your post history ... oy .... perhaps it shouldn't be a surprise.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 08:00 PM
5

if you're married, yes. all assets and property are joint whether they're in one spouses name or not. you need a lawyer, or if you have one, get a better one. If you think your hypothetical situation is how it works, it's not. If you're just looking for somebody to agree with you, good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 05:22 PM
5

You're gambling away joint assets. It wouldn't look good for you, or "that person" when you get in front of lawyers and judges. People aren't stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 05:06 PM
5

So, eating shit so that somebody can smell your bad breath?
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 04:55 PM
3

My ex and I did this, but we're amicable and were very civil about it. We worked out the details before hand, 50/50, and just told our lawyers this is what we wanted. Reluctantly, the lawyers agreed but not before they tried to be sneaky ... but, eventually we convinced our lawyers they need to listen to their clients and do what we say. They did, it worked out. Not sure how you'd do a collaborative divorce if things are contentious.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 08:30 PM
2

That's what we did. Not the same deal, but we just agreed to end it. We have 2 kids, agreed to 50/50 and a financial arrangement. What may be tricky, and you'll have to have lawyers "paper" this with the agreement as whatever state law governs divorce, may state otherwise. BUT ... couples are allowed to make whatever deals they want with each other, which is what my EX and I did.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 10:48 PM
1

Depends on how amicable you and Ex are. We're 50/50 and have swapped weekends and extended and/or shortened vacation periods with the other's consent. It's your agreement, you can agree to whatever you want if you're both cool with it. We use ours as a guide, but stay fairly strict to it. We treat it as the other gets right of first refusal if we want to go off script. If the other doesn't agree, the agreement stands and we'll respect that.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/22 04:43 PM
11

your response: "new phone. who 'dis?"
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 08:28 PM
3

I had my OLD profile posted the day I moved out. Had my first date on day 2 and broke in my new couch on day 9.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 07:08 PM
9

marriage counseling. Took me 6 months worth of appointments for me to finally "open up", which the EX had been wanting all along. I finally told her she's a bitchy, frigid, tyrant. That was the last time we went to therapy. Sounds like a joke and punchline.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 12:39 PM
2

Sounds like some cultish cross between Jordan Peterson and Tom Cruise’s character from the movie Magnolia
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 05:36 PM
1

what's your sharing arrangement? percentage?
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 09:47 PM
2

Similar situation but different results. Married 14 years, have 11/13 boys, 50/50 amicable custody. She was on board with the arrangement, there was no contesting from either side. We don't try and coerce them one way or the other. Since I was the one who moved out, and as much as I will try, Mom's place will always be their home. Since I have 2 boys, it was a little easier to make it more of a man cave. got an 80" TV, and Xbox, put up posters in their room (whereas mom would only put up her app…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/22 10:21 PM
5

tip? really? is she making you a latte?
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/22 03:55 PM
5

He didn't screw him, sounds like two consenting adults did what consenting adults do. OP's beef is with his STBEX. Anything further is somewhat petty. Why fight more of a fight that's already fought and done.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 05:02 PM
17

What do you have to gain by this? If she is already your STBEX, let it go and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 12:30 PM
30

Nothing from me here. What's the expression? Take it outside? Have a beef? Take it outside. Chris Rock ... comic ... makes a joke ... on stage doing comic stuff. The joke had nothing to do with marriage or infidelity.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 08:50 PM
3

Spot on. I'm just over 1 year in and I can say that it just keeps getting better.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 07:01 PM
14

Got snipped after my 2nd born. Was married for 8 years after that, and benefitted from having the snip seldom. NOW ... it's great. Women hate condoms as much as we do ... I've since learned.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 02:41 PM
20

There was a brief period where I would start to hit on ANYBODY. A friend said something to me, like an intervention, and said you're being too obvious with your desperation. Is it normal? Not sure about that as everybody's normal is different, but perhaps "typical" for some, especially me. I would go 20 years younger, 20 years older ... idgaf. It was like being let out of a cage. I've since settled on a single individual, my age, my level, but for a good year or so I would try and fuck anything …
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/22 04:59 PM
6

2 days. While still just technically separated, I moved out on a Sunday and had my first date on a Tuesday. I broke in my new couch that first Saturday night. Hit the apps. Gotta start somewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 01:27 AM
1

Need to either refinance or have the bank agree to a mortgage modification. The chances of the latter are slim, as that's not a typical issue that comes up and you're going to get some bank robot who can't do it. It's easier to just to a refinance .... but the spouse will have to be able to qualify for the mortgage all on their own.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/22 08:10 PM
3

I've had great experience, but I live in a big city with lots of selection. The apps make it great, it's like shopping for dates, but it takes some practice and lots of patience. I've managed to keep 2-3 in rotation at various times, but right now I'm set on one person and it's been going for a few months. She's also divorced, with kids so there's a lot in common and with that there's a lot of understanding about each other's situations. We both have exes, kids, different time commitments and av…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 04:30 PM
0

My two cents. Be yourself, be authentic, don't look like you're trying too hard ... and don't actually try too hard.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 12:16 PM
2

My rules: Rule 1 Be yourself Rule 2 See Rule 1
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 12:14 PM
7

That's up to you. I was dating while separated, still separated and not officially divorced, and may not be for another year or so. But it's been a year and I had my profile set up and ready to go the day I moved out and have been crushing it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/22 07:18 PM
2

If you're going to couples therapy it's too late. If you imagine an equal exchange of discussion points you're being mislead. Bull Burr has a great bit about looking forward to going to couples therapy and talking about everything he needs to work on. Use the therapist as a referee to help with the split.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 01:58 PM
5

bring snacks. Seriously, mine are 11/13, but I've been taking them solo since they were the ages of yours. Make plans, events, structure the time. Keep the home routine as much as possible with mealtime, dinner time, wake, brush teeth time. If they're out of sleep schedule, they'll get out of sorts. Just keep the routine consistent and organize your time. And snacks. Hopefully you'll have fun.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 07:30 PM
5

people wanting to be "alphas", incel keyboard warriors, and all around bitterness
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/22 05:03 PM
4

Depends if your agreement for prohibys that or not. If not, than no, there’s no law against it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 06:42 PM
8

If you're asking the question .... you probably know the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 05:38 PM
2

Are you serious? I had my profile drafted and ready to go and was live the day I moved out? What are you waiting for… Get out there!
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 05:47 PM
20

stand my ground? hell, i couldn't wait to get out. she can have the stuff. i got my freedom and my life back.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/21 10:01 PM
1

I did it at 38 years old after two kids. Procedure was on Thursday Thursday, I recovered over the weekend, I was back at work Monday. One of the best things I’ve ever done. Never once have I regretted it, just the opposite, always thanking myself for going through with it. Now that I’m divorced and sexually active again, it’s all the more worthwhile.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/21 10:55 AM
2

the background was that we were done, I had no interest in working on things and was just going to therapy to placate the ex. intent was to stay together for the kids, but can only fake it for so long and eventually said fuck it. we both did, and happier that way.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 05:29 PM
1

sex, it's quite simple. also, the divorce came a few years later. win-win
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 05:27 PM
3

My wife and I each had separate sessions with our joint marriage therapist. I went a few times separately, maybe 3-4. I really got to open up to her, everything that my wife would not have appreciated in joint sessions. Therapist told me that we should get divorced or I should have an affair. She gave me some great advice.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 03:39 PM
2

Followed the recipe exactly. I don’t bake, I do savory… And typically do not like to measure or even follow recipes. But we had to for baking. I ended up adding two more tablespoons of butter and treated it more like a pasta dough ... kneaded it by hand. Managed to salvage it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 03:56 PM
2

New York, I have 50-50. We agreed upon it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/21 11:36 AM
4

I'm with you. I just got my 2nd pair of J Crew 484 Japanese Wash. They're slim fit, but they're damn comfortable and far from dad jeans. They're a little stretchy. If you can fit into them, not sure how much more weight you've got to lose, but take a look. I'm 49, but closer to 50.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/21 11:27 PM
8

I had to look up what a redpilled man is. And the term toxicity is overused.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/21 01:25 PM
1

a year??? Holy hell. If you're young, I guess. My sock day is approaching within a few weeks and I've got my tinder account already opened. We were together 15, married 13.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/21 12:57 AM
3

Mediation all the way. My soon to be ex and I are just through with it. If you are in agreement on the terms, there’s no reason to litigate. The only ones that will make out in the litigation of lawyers. Mediate all the Way, draft a mutual agreement between the two of you, sign it, be on your way. Legal fees will be 1/10 for that of litigation.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/20 09:21 PM
2

This is behavior I do not understand. I have a very good friend of mine whose wife takes his phone the minute he enters the door. She goes through all his emails all his texts, his social media. It’s almost like a routine. The worst thing is, is that he is a good man, he is a good husband… When the boys are out sometimes doing “the thing“, he never partakes. He’s committed… She’s a psychopath. Based on my personal experience, if you’re going to couples counseling, it’s too late. Therapy works fo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/20 01:31 PM
3

At your age it’s gonna take more than once per month. Trust me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/20 11:56 PM
5

keep it all business. no emotion. that's what I've been doing. I treat the process like a work project.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/20 01:27 AM
7

(eye roll)
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/20 01:30 AM
11

I have to pay a coach on top of my attorney? It’s like having an agent AND a manager.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/20 12:19 AM
7

Wait ... took that big dude 5 swings to get her down? Sorry, but kudos to her for standing on her feet.
/r/PussyPassDenied14/12/18 05:44 PM
1

I'm dying to know the original story about this, the original meme, is it photoshopped? Is this woman in hiding?
/r/PussyPassDenied26/09/18 04:42 PM
4

Guitars too.
/r/PussyPassDenied24/09/18 01:34 PM
2

That radio voice ... do you think he talks like that when he's not on the air?
/r/PussyPassDenied03/11/17 07:43 PM
21

metoo
/r/PussyPassDenied20/10/17 02:13 PM
1

Should get her together with the woman "satisfying herself" on the fountain.
/r/PussyPassDenied17/10/17 05:35 PM
6

"Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp and it read ICE CUBE'S A PIMP" - Abraham Lincoln, 1863
/r/PussyPassDenied04/10/17 12:40 PM
30

the snoring, the glottal breathing
/r/PussyPassDenied22/08/17 10:12 PM
2

My mother always told me that if somebody hits you, and if you want to hit them back, do so. It doesn't matter if it's a girl or not.
/r/PussyPassDenied12/07/17 09:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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