J_Incognito Archive

Upvotes	Title	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
29	When the Blue Pill Lens Shattered	J_Incognito	/r/MarriedRedPill	04/09/18 04:18 AM
7	Need Xmas Gift Ideas for Wife	J_Incognito	/r/MarriedRedPill	14/12/15 03:27 PM
2	Ever okay to verbalize request to expand sex life?	J_Incognito	/r/askMRP	03/11/15 03:57 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Hysterical Bonding "Hysterical Bonding" - great term. Add this to the lexicon.	/r/MarriedRedPill	16/05/17 02:48 PM
2	Should I skip starfish sex always? (Sex strategy advice needed) stop mid-coitus I've done it a couple times as well. You need frame to pull this off. First time I unrolled with a sigh of butthurt despondence and laid there staring at the ceiling - she begged me to finish the starfish (so she could claim the chore as done) which I did to nobody's satisfaction. The second time, "this isn't working for me", jumped to my feet, tossed her clothes and the magazine she was reading to her, and left to finish home repair project. She initiated 30min later w/ BJ.	/r/askMRP	15/03/17 06:42 PM
5	The sex is boring/lame/drab/dull/routine What are we(these men, and me) missing? Frame (mental point of origin) is the answer - is she in your world or are you in hers. This is a great fundamental question that newbies (and even experienced MRPers) get wrong. A lot of us are still wrapped up in a long covert contract of “If I start lifting, cut BF to 10%, get a promotion, learn guitar, etc., etc. then she’ll find me attractive and want to fuck me”. No, not directly – other women w/o a track record of experience w/ you will certainly be…	/r/askMRP	08/03/17 06:53 PM
3	Victim Puke: Negative Space The problem is that I'm already better than I ever was. This is the problem. You've never left the covert contract. You still think hitting the gym, changing your clothes, social groups, upping your career = more sex. It may, but not directly. It's more like: Gym, etc. > confidence & winning life > sex. Admittedly your history is much worse than others here (multiple rejections, dumped so she could fuck more attractive guys), but you made your bed. 4 months is not enough time to give the MRP it'…	/r/askMRP	07/03/17 10:44 PM
3	What to do when Dread has no effect? My logistics for this are quite good although I'd rather not go into detail for fear of being doxxed I hope you're not shitting where you eat. Other than someone at work, I'm not sure how you're managing a daily affair w/ a preschooler and 9 month old. You have options, pick a lane. If you're sticking to making the marriage work, then you'll need to confront her about her failing you. She'll cry - but you're going to make her cry one way or another.	/r/askMRP	07/03/17 09:50 PM
3	How to handle accusations of affairs 101 My wife has zero concrete reason to suspect I'm having an affair (I'm not), but I've received this question from time to time. I take it as a tacit admission that I'm a man attractive enough to have an affair - it's a good thing that it's on her mind; it means there is some dread & mystery there. I've tended to respond w/ A&A: "not this week" or "do BJs count?". If she pushes it, I've then responded with "yes - [uncomfortable pause] - I'm about to have an affair with your ass" and physical escal…	/r/MarriedRedPill	23/12/16 02:59 PM
3	Is this a shit test? I'm not really sure, could use some input I don't know the source of your dad's concern (you being a shitty gift giver, or her not being appreciative, or something else about her), but by default you should trust your dad's instincts. If he has an issue with her, then you may not be seeing the real her. Second, learn how to give a gift. Forget buying her clothes, jewelry, perfume - all crap. Take her to a weekend ski trip and tell her not to pack pajamas, you'll be providing hers.	/r/askMRP	22/12/16 09:19 PM
4	How'd I do? Still fucking it up? This and then: w: "Oh, so what's going on?" h: "I told you it's personal and it's not my place to tell you." w: [begging, pleading for gossip to share] h: [walk away]	/r/askMRP	22/12/16 07:36 PM
20	FR - STFU got me anal sex She tells me she is still horny and can we fuck again. I tell her I'll fuck her ass, she says no thanks, and I say goodnight and go to sleep. Well, it's not a literal STFU- you asked for it again. But it is OI and sounds like you avoided displaying butt hurtness (certainly the second time). I'd say your Frame and DNGAF got you anal, not STFU. Victory regardless	/r/MarriedRedPill	22/12/16 06:48 PM
1	My 30 day plan WWCD - what would Chad do? Would Chad not slap his girl's ass if he wanted to? Would Chad put up with her shit? Would Chad give a fuck what she thinks of his actions or opinions? Would Chad let her influence him in anyway? Would Chad accept frumpy pajamas and starfish sex? Would Chad shy away from saying he wants a BJ? Would Chad stare at other women; Would Chad talk to other women? Would Chad pursue his interests, masculine hobbies, lifting, and try to better himself? One month for every year. …	/r/askMRP	19/12/16 10:57 PM
2	Out Of The Blue(pill) Change In Wife, Yay Or Nay? (x-post from r/asktrp) Imagine the tingles had you identified the construction issues first and had already brow beat the contractor into fixing it properly w/o extra costs. Own your shit.	/r/MarriedRedPill	14/12/16 02:31 PM
2	Proper response to "I can't get in the mood for sex unless you make me feel loved (aka do X, Y or Z for me)? For me, I want my hands on my wife - I'm good with lots of Kino and massaging. It's bad form to be hands off and then pounce on her in bed. You still need to seduce your wife. Don't wait for her to ask, the default should be hands on when relaxing on couch or in bed, or passing each other in hallway or kitchen. Now, on the other hand, if she says flatly "no sex until X" - you follow the don't negotiate w/ terrorists approach.	/r/askMRP	13/12/16 06:50 PM
1	How to avoid being Butt Hurt (Mini FR) Man, it's not just the BJs, that's a subset of the lame sex. Lame/starfish/duty sex is due to a lack of attraction. I saw your previous post, if you honestly believe your SMV is 2 points below your spouse, then you have a lot of ground to makeup (I tend to think a lot of this is perception however). And it's not just lifting & diet, think social circles, career, wardrobe, charm, etc. Overall this exchange wasn't bad. But you should be focused on improving and, later, implementing some dread. And…	/r/askMRP	08/12/16 07:18 PM
2	Girlfriend (18) going on cruise. Should I (20) be worried? OP, she can cheat on you here or there; between classes or while you're buying glasses; in a boat or with a goat; in a train or in the rain; she can cheat on you, yes she can. And she is all women - the story never changes.	/r/askTRP	08/12/16 06:13 PM
4	Swallowed the pill a while back, need some advice I heard this once... you'll never love someone as much as you love your first love. This doesn't mean that every dude's first GF is his soulmate (those don't exist), but it means that you'll never give yourself over so entirely as you did w/ the first love. First love is complete and vulnerable. Everyone inevitably gets hurt and learns never to go full retard ever again. OP, you will never think of your wife the same as you did pre-cheating ever again. However, AWALT and the next woman will not …	/r/askMRP	08/12/16 02:32 PM
29	Feel like I am choking on the red pill. What am I doing wrong? To make things even worse, my wife cheated on me a few months ago and we are working through it. At first I was scared of losing her but I've gotten over that. She is still cheating on you, and you are still scared of losing her. Cheating should be a nuclear level event where there's little chance of coming back. Here, she undoubtedly views her cheating as your mistake and, it sounds like, she is making no effort to keep you around (Did she drop to her knees for a relationship-saving BJ when you…	/r/MarriedRedPill	07/12/16 07:03 PM
2	I posted about my marriage and some people PMed me to come here. I have read some of the literature but don't see the advice as beneficial to my situation So, you have: sexless marriage, no kids, no income (no career, let alone a job), friends you're not allowed to visit, cyber stalking HS crushes, and a gaming addiction. Man, you need several forums. Start w/ this - you need to make every day about improving some facet of your life. Do this right now - turn off the computer, clean your apartment, do the laundry, plan a healthy home-cooked dinner for tonight, and go for a long walk to understand that nobody is going to give you anything in life. B…	/r/askMRP	07/12/16 04:09 PM
7	I posted about my marriage and some people PMed me to come here. I have read some of the literature but don't see the advice as beneficial to my situation You need to do a complete 180. IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE with the path you're on (worse like her doing porn star routines w/ the neighbor while she won't allow your smelly dick anywhere near her). Read the sidebar ----------> Start w/ Beginner's Guide. This will take a lot of work and won't be easy	/r/askMRP	07/12/16 03:40 PM
3	How to respond to verbal praise/appreciation when little to no physical? YOU MUST INITIATE SEX, YOU MUST INITIATE SEX, YOU MUST INITIATE SEX She gives you a complement. No "you're right", that's an invite to escalate - physically. She says it in the kitchen, grab her ass and pick her up onto the counter and 10sec kiss. One more time, YOU MUST INITIATE SEX. It's not going to fall out of the sky. It's there to be had, you're just not grabbing it.	/r/askMRP	06/12/16 10:13 PM
2	She gives you the starfish, you give her The Caveman If you haven't read the Sex God Method, you should. The key takeaway I had is that sex for a women is more emotional than physical (forget techniques or positions). Caveman works not because the act of pile driving your wife drives a physical response, it works because it opens emotional reactions in response to a dominant display. SGM = Dominance, Emotion, Variety, & Immersion. If you're getting starfish, you haven't hit any of these. Dominance will work for the first few times to snap out of s…	/r/MarriedRedPill	06/12/16 02:55 PM
1	We all agree: Lifting is great. What if you can't? ...the list goes on and on Add confidence to that list and, IMO, confidence is the essence of alpha. There's no greater boost to confidence than setting a physical goal, working hard to meet it, and then exceeding it. Lifting is most targeted example of this (e.g., 300lb deadlift) and probably provides the best health benefits; but there are certainly other physical goals you can set (e.g., 40mi bicycle ride, ___ row, ____ pushups, 15% BF, etc.)	/r/MarriedRedPill	05/12/16 04:24 PM
2	Ideas for maintaining RP frame in writing my own wedding vows? Take this as one additional data point on marriage... I love my wife and feel our relationship is the best it's ever been (thanks RP). Yes, there are issues here and there and the grass is always greener, but I'm genuinely content w/ where we are and how I expect it to continue to improve. BUT, in retrospect, I would not have gotten married. I may still be with her and be raising kids with her, but married - no. Why? You loose nearly all leverage and power in the relationship when you make the s…	/r/askMRP	02/12/16 06:31 PM
0	Newbie fuck up FR Consistency and will power is what separates men from women and children. Execution is everything. You know the path, now follow it.	/r/askMRP	01/12/16 08:27 PM
2	Am I just being a dick? I remember a scene in The Bronx Tale where one kids owes another $20. The deadbeat is always fleeing and the lender is always chasing after him. Later, the figurative father and neighborhood boss sees this and asks the lender if he's friends w/ the deadbeat. The lender says no and that he hates the deadbeat hanging around. So, the boss says let it go - look at this way it only cost you $20 to get that person out of your life. There's similarities to your situation. yes, it's wasteful and not con…	/r/askMRP	01/12/16 07:06 PM
14	Working AM on soon-to-be ex is so much fun You greet your soon to be ex-wife with "Good morning honey" everyday? I don't think this counts as amused mastery (that's AM right?). There's a difference between maintaining frame and NGAF, and being patronizing and weird. You do realize your doing this act for her - you're reacting to her in hopes to drive a response. Better you start preparing for a life without her and focus on yourself and your kids.	/r/askMRP	30/11/16 10:21 PM
2	The beauty of STFU... FR morning bed "fight". My wife has a bad, rude disrespectful habit of asking me for things before I've even woken up. I've been working on this with her. I also have a rule that our bedroom is for sleep and sex and loving and nothing else. Not to pile on, but work harder at this. "No" needs to be in every man's vocabulary. Side note - I do appreciate diversity in FR, small victories count too. This just wasn't one of them.	/r/askMRP	30/11/16 04:21 PM
4	Acknowledge Your Fear of Rejection, and Crush It. Your fear of rejection may be what’s holding back your sex life +1000. The difference between Chad and a frustrated husband, or alpha and beta, is not height, muscles or BF%, charm, clothes, status, resources, etc. It's not giving a fuck about acting/voicing their opinions, desires, wants; certainly not for fear of what your wife may say or think. Read this, Comprehend this, and internalize this - it took me a while to complete this understanding. Those attributes I mentioned (status, BF%, charm…	/r/MarriedRedPill	29/11/16 10:42 PM
1	If AWALT when can one reasonably expect to see a different sexual attitude from her. Occasional poster here. I posted a while back about my wife not doing doggystyle - that discussion will certainly be helpful to you (you can search by my name I think), but I think it's too premature for you. At 1.5 months you have a ways to go, however you're making good progress with her initiating. That's huge for a lot of guys and initiation for women can be very subtle. You're on the right track. As other have wrote, read SGM, be in the moment, make it fun and passionate (for women it's mor…	/r/askMRP	29/11/16 04:47 PM
2	Girlfriend [27f] and I [28m] long distance for undisclosed amount of time, really want to keep each other started out as fwb She has made it clear that she doesn't want to put our lives on hold waiting for each other she wants to end up together in a few years (emphasis added) Start preparing for the worst, she's probably not LTR material to begin with. And you've caught oneitis. You're only chance longterm is to revert this relationship to FWB while a LDR (don't ask, don't tell about others - and there will be others on her end), improve yourself and cure your oneitis, and, if you still want her, s…	/r/askMRP	04/11/16 08:23 PM
1	girlfriend refuses to do give me blowjobs but she admitted she has done it for her ex. First, "improving yourself" is mandatory regardless. And you should do it for yourself, not to win anyone over. The BJs are really symptomatic of the underlying issue. She feels no need to compete for you (likely because she's not attracted to you and/or has no concern about your commitment to the relationship). You want X - she knows you want X - she feels no need to please you by doing X. What to do? Improve yourself, read up on dread (i.e., make her replaceable and you less replaceable).	/r/askMRP	31/08/16 01:45 PM
3	How to respond to this shit test? pick your spots a little better. Pulling her away from a task wasn't going to get you far. Hands on her hips and a dirty whisper into her ear is a good opening salvo. If she spins around and says "oh yeah", then go for the kiss. No response, then ass slap and walk away. Regardless, all of this should be fun and light.	/r/askMRP	30/08/16 08:05 PM
2	Massage table that we have is unused There's always a "massage table". Sometimes it's the hot tub in the beachhouse we rented, the missed nooner when you were home from work early, or the time all the kids were out of the house at the same time and kitchen table was calling you. Give a though to logistics, escalate when the time is right, and, if your grandiose plan for porn-star sex is not realized, don't pout.	/r/askMRP	30/08/16 07:51 PM
1	Stop tolerating bullshit. Start showing controlled anger. See American Beauty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldlo1P3PIgs See her face after he throws the plate against the wall. Argument over, back to dinner.	/r/MarriedRedPill	30/08/16 07:27 PM
5	Sex shit test frustration This is analogous to "date night" or "losing a sex bet". Having to perform out of obligation is never attractive to a woman. What im asking for is a way to take my frustration and make it a positive and how to hold better frame in the situation Knowing/internalizing that there are other women out there who will give you everything you want. yes, that won't get you laid right then and right there; but, your frame or mindset always shines through, and with that attitude you can breeze past a rejec…	/r/askMRP	11/07/16 10:07 PM
0	He can't forgive me -- and it's not even my fault (any and all help deeply appreciated!) My marriage is currently in terrible trouble through no fault of my own Right on cue. Suggesting that you are a perfect wife and all of this is due to the sex of your child is very likely misplaced. Something is wrong in your story. I suspect he's working like a dog to support a SAHM / Dr. Wife lifestyle, only to be met with nagging that he's not spending enough time at home. You seem unhappy too. Only you know what is really going on. Giving you the benefit of the doubt re his actions and your …	/r/askMRP	01/07/16 03:01 PM
2	FR: POLL: Where we are at 18-24 months Dread Stage 5 (base, all men should be doing at least passive dread) 9 years, as good as it's ever been Quality - great, Quantity - adequate Lifting - no dadbod, Finances & Career solid, Happy but stretched Challenges: Two professional careers w/ young kids is a grind. Add in social activities, lifting, hobbies, house maintenance and we're beat when we hit the bed. We're both doing a lot to seduce the other and keep some passion alive, but it is an added effort I'll admit. We still …	/r/MarriedRedPill	28/06/16 03:09 PM
5	Husband No Longer Passionate entirely irrelevant and g o o g l e i t if you want to know what it is. I don't even know you and I'm already exhausted	/r/askMRP	23/06/16 07:56 PM
9	Husband No Longer Passionate Sidebar - women's posts are instantly recognizable (and were the downfall of MMSL forum for me). Geez, what a bunch of random, incoherent, half-formed thoughts. What is your question? If you want to have sex with your husband, it's easy - touch his dick. If you want a passionate, intimate & fun relationship, be pleasant and fun to be around. Try this - sitter, pizza, beer, BJ and, most important, no talking about feelings. And repeat regularly. We're pretty simple to make happy and you're failin…	/r/askMRP	23/06/16 07:43 PM
1	premature cork popper Confession time, I had a mild case of this (timewise I had no problem, so long as I kept everything measured. But when I turned poundtown up to 11 I felt I had no control). I made it a point of my RP plan to improve this aspect and you should do the same. I'm sorry, but 15s won't get the job done. I experimented with aids (condoms helped and the delay sprays really worked) but those aren't solutions. Edge. It's not all about death grip, edging is about learning your point of no return and floati…	/r/askMRP	23/06/16 07:21 PM
2	LTR tells me about co-worker being nice to her I just wish you'd do stuff like that for me once in a while. "nah, too many carbs"	/r/askTRP	23/06/16 04:26 PM
3	LTR checks ex's Facebook almost daily.. should I be concerned? Well, given more of your backstory, the last thing you should be doing is planning to propose. Fix yourself. You want to be in an LTR w/ an attractive woman, you’ve got to work. A man must always perform. If you can’t do that at this point, then downgrade the relationship and move out, or accept that she may blindside you at any point. Again, her attention on her ex is a red flag that you should not ignore – this is past mere curiosity. Other ideas: read up on Rational Male blog about maintainin…	/r/askMRP	22/06/16 07:35 PM
3	LTR checks ex's Facebook almost daily.. should I be concerned? Good, a man must have a mission (being a good husband and father doesn't count). You've got that and have accepted that, yes, "there is something going on". What should your next step be? Face it, you're 5.5 years into a live-in LTR (you are de facto married). Action items: 1) don't confront her - but monitor the situation, 2) read up on 12 stages of dread, and 3) start seducing/gaming your LTR again. Yes, it takes effort. When's the last time you texted her mid-day with "picking you up at 7. we…	/r/askMRP	21/06/16 04:41 PM
2	Is Dread Working? Agree with you 100% - I work hard to have the financial security needed to support the life I want for me and my family; I won't allow anything within my control to jeopardize that. A joint account has never been a problem for me. I got 99 problems, but that ain't one.	/r/MarriedRedPill	21/06/16 04:04 PM
2	Is Dread Working? Context specific I guess: some wives "I can spend all the money in my accounts because I know my husband is responsible and will save; and it's not like he won't the bills when I can't contribute my half". Joint accounts work for me cause my wife defers 100% to me on finances and, if I say some big purchase is not prudent (although we have the money), she accepts it. For the OP, his wife is clearly using separate accounts as retaliation.	/r/MarriedRedPill	21/06/16 03:17 PM
14	LTR checks ex's Facebook almost daily.. should I be concerned? We live together and have been through a pretty rough year this past year. So I'm at the point in my relationship that I'm considering proposing to my girlfriend. These two statements don't jive. It's been a rough year - why then propose? The idea that we're at the right age, been together long enough, and already live together is a horrible reason to get married. Nothing about that is indicative of attraction. Going to your question, don't confront her - she'll just do a better job of hiding it…	/r/askMRP	21/06/16 02:53 PM
4	Is Dread Working? No, dread is not working. You are in the land of separate bank accounts, marriage counseling, divorce-talk, bickering, and debating leadership. None of this is positive.	/r/MarriedRedPill	21/06/16 01:48 PM
1	The Sexual Market Place of Marriage Huh, I tend to think Marriage 2.0 is much more liquid (although less liquid than dating). There's a certain romanticism to RP thoughts of Marriage 1.0 which is unwarranted to some extent. Sure in 1.0, the wife couldn't leave, but neither could the husband really - it was till death do you part. Yes, sexual availability was expected; but talk about obligatory, duty sex. In 2.0 each partner has options and each must therefore perform. And performance is what you describe as RP.	/r/MarriedRedPill	17/06/16 02:56 PM
3	Should I end my marriage for trivial reasons? Should I end my marriage for trivial reasons? Being unhappy is not a trivial reason. It will only get harder to get out later on. I'm scared to start again, I'm scared of loneliness, failure, what family will think and I'm worried that being divorced is very unattractive to women That's just fear. Think about the opportunities	/r/askMRP	16/06/16 01:48 PM
1	She acted unattractive. Denied her sex. so now believe I ought to hold frame, yes? Why would you ever not hold frame? Also, who cares if she disagrees on a political issue? Are you looking to be part of a political rally or have an intimate and sexual experience with an attractive woman? Sounds like she out-debated you and you became butt-hurt that she didn't appreciate your logic. Best response - get home, get naked - "alright, show we some gun control"	/r/askMRP	16/06/16 01:42 PM
27	Instant Success Implementing RP Strategy In My LTR This won't be the last time - any half-way attractive woman will receive attention and have orbiters. They're always there, and you being on your game is the only thing that keeps keeps her from indulging. Research "mate guarding" and see "married red pill"; it's a fine line between setting boundaries and being jealous/controlling. Lastly, know that no matter how great she performed the re-commitment sex, she could just take the flirting underground. Better you start determining what made her re…	/r/TheRedPill	14/06/16 07:41 PM
2	[FR] Taking Mohamed to the Mountain This is tons of effort to try to get his wife to really understand just how hot he is, and how other girls like him so much. He did put in a fair bit of planning. I think that's fine as long as she perceives it as occurring somewhat organically w/ a degree of spontaneity. Don't build it up as "date night" which reeks of a covert contract. OP reports doing a great job of being OI (perhaps too much so, that he didn't even initiate). All in all he led a fun night w/ his wife. Rinse and repeat - Rom…	/r/MarriedRedPill	14/06/16 03:54 PM
5	[FR] Taking Mohamed to the Mountain Great FR. It's good that not every FR ends in pornstar sex. We kissed a little and my wife didn’t say her usual pre-emptive and emphatic “Good Night Sweetie!” [powertalk] to signal that she wasn’t interested in any advance I might be tempted to make. I suspected she’d be open to accepting my initiation, but unfortunately, she just lay there quietly and I want more investment than that. I get it. We'd all love our wives to rip our clothes off and devour our dicks. But, you can't retreat when that…	/r/MarriedRedPill	14/06/16 02:00 PM
1	Full halt mid fucking I just do what I want in the moment time and decide not to play pussy hero 4. I get her set up for doggy Yes, read up on Sex God Method/DEVI. There's a time for manhandling, for whispering dirty words in her ear, for staring into her eyes, for teasing, etc. She just got done putting folded clothes away (and yes it's a covert contract / date night / duty sex) and you jumped straight to arranging her on the bed like a mannequin. However, stopping mid-fuck was probably the right move when you were …	/r/MarriedRedPill	13/06/16 01:49 PM
12	[FR] How I ended my Main Event with a spanking She did and I calmly stated a key point she left out. The effect was immediate and her body language changed completely. We talked and things calmed down. You got laid because of the spanks, not your superior debate skills.	/r/MarriedRedPill	09/06/16 06:50 PM
1	What am I missing? Maybe you're only batting 10%, but how's the sex? The quality can be indicative of her perception of your SMV and attractiveness. A couple other thoughts: 1) w/ work & kids it's easy to forego maintaining an independent social circle - get some friends and hobbies outside the house; 2) keep working the MRP concepts - some see instantaneous progress and for others it's a hockey stick chart. Lastly, you're doing great - this is for internal gratification, and sex w/ the wife is ancillary	/r/askMRP	08/06/16 08:28 PM
0	When your wife openly flirts with the man you're trying to become "that's X. He works in Y (same role as me). All the girls fancy him. And he's got bigger pecs than you." you: "cool, I hope he's gay too" You working the crowd is good; avoiding your LTR is pouty (not appearing butthurt - when you are - is harder than you think). There will always be Chads. This could be your LTR's way to stoke some jealousy and teasing. Or it could be her openly flirting with another man. If she lost all interest in you throughout the night in Chad's presence, it's the latter a…	/r/MarriedRedPill	27/05/16 07:21 PM
2	Most women find me attractive, just not my wife. Am I still the problem/the one who needs to change? Great comment here. In reading the OP's post, I was thinking the same - OP treats his wife as a domestic partner - someone to take care of half of the household chores - not as an object of sexual desire and pursues sex elsewhere (OP has affairs, others retreat to porn). Cut off all other sources of sexual interest entirely. Focus on your wife and your wife only. You want to have sex - seduce your wife, make her feel attractive and desired. Lastly, it's too late now - but if you thought it was b…	/r/askMRP	27/05/16 02:00 PM
1	LTR has lost libido. Need advice from fellow RPers. However this girl displays quite often what you could call needy love. And you're enabling her. it has been occurring less and less to probably once every 2 days. Still satisfies us both and I rationalised this frequency was normal for LTRs. The frequency isn't bad, but I suspect the quality is falling off as well. It's an LTR, not a 24/7 shadow (no need to see her/ communicate every day). You've let her completely in and destroyed any mystery/drama. You need to maintain separate spaces/identity…	/r/askTRP	25/05/16 04:50 PM
4	Caught wife on Dating site, found out she is seeing someone. I know in the back of my mind, there is no saving this marriage at this point. She beats around the bush that she doesn't want to be with me. Never bluntly says it, just more of the.."this will never work between us." In most of these situations where the wife gets caught, she goes DEFCON 1 and pulls out the emergency BJ and pornstar sex. Your wife went in the opposite direction. That's telling. Move on, or repeat in 6-12 months.	/r/askMRP	24/05/16 08:42 PM
3	Work Orbiter taking LTR out for dinner this weekend and I'm triggered At this point you've gotten your point across that her behavior is unacceptable to you, but at the same time maintained frame and not displayed insecurity. That's a fine line to dance. But, agreed, that this is unacceptable behavior from an LTR and it's proper to call her on it. Just be prepared to cut ties entirely.	/r/askTRP	18/05/16 07:39 PM
2	Did I let her get away with too much for too long for her to even botehr changing? Trying to change her but seems fruitless Read the sidebar - you're in her frame. You need to lead and she can either follow or not. Just FYI, kids make everything harder (paternity test needed). You need to read up and start leading this family immediately. If not, it will be another unpleasant 2-3 years, divorce, and you'll repeat these same mistakes in your next relationship.	/r/askMRP	16/05/16 03:03 PM
2	I broke Tomassi's iron rules when I was Blue Pill. A general comment about maintaining your frame - don't be afraid of confrontation (see WISNIFG). Your interests, your thoughts, your opinions matter and hers in no way trump yours. My gut says I need to number close to confirm to myself that I'm DHV That's insecurity talking. Find your strength and voice from within.	/r/askMRP	13/05/16 06:22 PM
1	Pretty sure I’m not doing this right Yes, and that text exchange was hard to read. You need to own your decisions. I express this to my wife, and tell her I’m writing those guys off and moving on. First, you shouldn't be justifying yourself to your wife (I suspect you did this because she was calling them dicks for not responding to you - a better response would be "you know guys never plan more than 6 hours ahead"). Second, once you wrote them off, you would have earned more man points by following through on that. Now, recognizin…	/r/askMRP	22/03/16 02:07 PM
12	Epiphany (Long) Do yourself a favor and count the total number of "hers, she's, and wife's" in your long post. Just glancing at it, your entire post, nearly every sentence, is about your wife and how your wife is reacting to your actions. This post is reflective of your focus - on your wife rather than on yourself. You. Are. Living. In. Her. Frame.	/r/MarriedRedPill	21/03/16 05:47 PM
1	UPDATE: Progress Report more manhandling then ever. I read the lessons of SGM to be that sex for a woman is more about the psychological, than the physical. That's helped me a lot. You've got domination (the D in DEVI) down, but there's a lot more to it. And all caveman all the time is not a recipe for longterm success, you'll get diminishing returns unless you mix it up.	/r/askMRP	21/03/16 05:34 PM
6	FR: handling the "no" Fine line between withdrawing attention, commitment and comfort and seeming butt-hurt, no? In the moment I think you continue unfazed (don't get quiet and distant), but longterm you dial back the attention a little	/r/MarriedRedPill	08/03/16 05:56 PM
12	FR: She asked me not to do sex-fasting ever again You're setting a bad precedent - you should never permit your relationship to be "sexless".	/r/MarriedRedPill	08/03/16 04:13 PM
2	An example of AWALT - LTR of 7 years and how I handled that shit(Wall of Text) Moral of the story - she's putting out to keep you committed to her. Once she's convinced you're back in line and not going anywhere, she'll revert to baseline UNLESS you really make some changes. I'm guessing it wasn't great before you "caught" her.	/r/MarriedRedPill	07/03/16 10:26 PM
6	How to properly present an ultimatum? Downgrade to non-exclusive. Although, frankly, you should cut it altogether. You want kids, she doesn't - or she doesn't want them with you - it won't work. No mention of marriage in your post, is she making any type of commitment? 31 is a little old to still be having fun. If you're past that stage then you're probably past her.	/r/askMRP	02/03/16 09:49 PM
1	Not married but, LTR issues, was wondering if anyone could help... First, good for at least recognizing it's a problem and not acceptable. The best, and the longterm, answer is follow the TRP/MRP, read the sidebar, execute, and make her forget about seeking attention from others (be the man that she wants attention from). If this snapchat video just happened, does she know you know about it? Is she rubbing it in your face? If yes, then you have no choice but to speak up and denounce it - not in hurt whine, but an authoritative declaration that it's not acceptab…	/r/MarriedRedPill	24/02/16 10:15 PM
2	How to release the sex kitten within your wife? it is on me to lead her to the amazing places we can reach. This. I'm in the same boat, albeit maybe a little further ahead - with MRP the quantity and enthusiasm are up, and I feel like we're back to the high water mark (previously hit 12+ years ago) with respect to the 1-10 porn star sex scale. But, we're not at a 10 and not high enough in my view. As a side note, I've wondered if one can get their sex life w/ a wife of several years to a point where it never was before OR if the honeymoon pha…	/r/MarriedRedPill	10/02/16 05:20 PM
2	Shit test sabotaged sex/ held frame/ dread is working The fuck? He's literally saying he's going to get his regardless of her opinion. That's the definition of OI. I see what you're saying and appreciate OP's don't back down attitude. But, OP says that having sex w/ wife last night was so important to him that he'll drug her to make it happen. His mindset is entirely dependent on that happening (he's very much outcome dependent) and, if it doesn't happen or he doesn't get the pornstar sex he wants, this mindset will only lead to frustration, resent…	/r/MarriedRedPill	29/01/16 03:57 PM
1	Shit test sabotaged sex/ held frame/ dread is working Lately with her, its starfish city. She lays there, barely moving, and does not utter a sound or word before, during or after....So, I take my pleasure with her and try to bring her along as best I can. When she does not respond, I just get off in her. Good, don't accept it time after time. No biggy. I also told her that she has to give herself permission to enjoy sex. “I can’t have an orgasm for you, hon”. STFU, let the hamster work for you - "why'd he stop? Is he really mad?". Also, it's proba…	/r/MarriedRedPill	28/01/16 10:34 PM
1	Predictors of Success with Red Pill? Keep at it, and great post - it's good to share that not everyone's experience is the same. You have a ways to go (a month for each year of Beta LTR is rule of thumb), but you should be mindful of BluePillProfessor's 12 stages of Dread. In your case, it sounds like you'll need a relationship reboot at some point and upping the dread up to nuclear levels may be the only way of razing the foundations of a 17 year LTR. Of course, at the same time, you cannot seek validation from your LTR and must i…	/r/MarriedRedPill	26/01/16 05:48 PM
1	Predictors of Success with Red Pill? This really depends on how you define "success". Archwinger's point is well-taken; the RP, and MRP subset, is about bettering oneself to one's own benefit. Whether or not this will lead to more sex w/ wife is really incidental to the primary mission. Nevertheless, with respect to how a marriage/LTR will respond to a man's MRP plan, I think it is somewhat dependent on the conditions in which the relationship first started. I cringe every time I read a newbie's post that he and his wife/LTR never …	/r/MarriedRedPill	19/01/16 09:38 PM
2	PE and fucked up my response "round one done! grab some gatorade"	/r/askMRP	15/01/16 06:58 PM
2	FR, progress from noob and a beard shit test. She will or she won't - but if she's going to bury her nose in a book or in front of a screen, you should withdraw your attention and go do something you enjoy and/or adds value to your life. If she doesn't value your presence, then standing by waiting for breadcrumbs of interaction is a DLV, and frames her as the more dominant partner. Always operate in your frame.	/r/MarriedRedPill	14/01/16 06:02 PM
3	FR, progress from noob and a beard shit test. My feelings are that we typically have an hour or two after the kids (2 & 4 years old) go to bed and before we go to bed when we can when we can... Same situation here, a couple hours after kids go to bed most nights. Those are often the only hours we get to ourselves. I get that sometimes my wife would like to crawl into bed in comfy pjs, turn on crap tv, and surf the ipad - but it can't be all the time. Yes, sometimes I come upstairs and see her in bed vegging and initiate by turning off the t…	/r/MarriedRedPill	14/01/16 04:44 PM
5	"I'll just jerk off in the bathroom" [Help] On Saturday, I completely rearranged the living room so that we could watch porn together covert contract A few more minutes later she snapped at me and said I should be doing what's in the video. That killed my mood. I stopped, kinda sat there for a minute and got up to get ready for bed. butthurt, not OI The next day I was distant with her, and it took until Monday night for us to resolve the issue. More butthurt Covert contract + butthurt + more butthurt = consolatory sex compliance (e.g., ha…	/r/MarriedRedPill	13/01/16 06:12 PM
6	"I'll just jerk off in the bathroom" [Help] Is this a consensus view? It can reek of butthurt. But, on the other hand (if wife views herself as husband's sole source of sexuality), it does display a "no shits given" attitude and conveys that the husband has sexual needs which won't be restricted to access to wife. To OP, to an offer of a halfassed BJ I like the response "I want your best or don't bother" delivered with a smirk - you shouldn't accept poor performance. But, more importantly, your post has a lot of covert contracts - work on…	/r/MarriedRedPill	13/01/16 05:12 PM
3	Are these a shit-tests or not? Confession time --- I handled Situations 3A&B wrong for years; "sure honey, 5min of backrub and then sexy time" - which directly led to duty, starfish sex. This is a compliance test for her to confirm that you're still operating in her frame and that she still controls your access to sex. Your responses aren't great - no transaction talk; no first this, then that (even if delivered as a joke). Shut that shit down. The good news is once I recognized this for what it was, I smashed this test and h…	/r/askMRP	08/01/16 04:30 PM
1	Unattractive naked text pic: Shit test, comfort test or neither? gotcha, a passive-aggressive intentionally-bad naked pic shit test - my advice is the same just ignore it, and if she brings it up just use one of those lines. You handled it fine. I'd add that you cool it on requesting any pics for awhile	/r/askMRP	29/12/15 06:23 PM
2	Unattractive naked text pic: Shit test, comfort test or neither? STFU, but if she keeps harping on it: "sure, it made the top 5 I got today" or "6/10, you're phoning it in" or "let's try this, send a daily pic and at the end of the week I'll rank them" ---- all with a smirk Frankly, you seem over-invested in these - remain nonchalant / OI like it's no big deal whether she sends these or not. If she goes out of her way, a little validation is warranted; otherwise STFU.	/r/askMRP	29/12/15 06:01 PM
1	I think I'm ruining my relationship of 5 years. You're getting into adulthood. Having a job, paying the bills, and saving for the future is a grind. If it's like this now, imagine when you add kids. The answer is don't be boring and keep her on her toes: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3j33no/10_ways_to_keep_your_wife_on_her_toes/ .	/r/askMRP	17/12/15 09:37 PM
1	Lessons from my weight loss congrats on the weight loss - a big soft dread move. What's it done for your marriage?	/r/MarriedRedPill	16/12/15 09:18 PM
1	Need Xmas Gift Ideas for Wife Fair enough, gift giving is individual-specific; she certainly has her tastes and interests and I’ll cater to that. Seems like a universal conundrum and I’m just looking for inspiration.	/r/MarriedRedPill	14/12/15 04:43 PM
2	Red Pill Sexting Agree - no need to "progress" to that point. Boldness is rewarded. Also aside from the sexting, since she works nearby, lunch dates are a great midday rendezvous for working couples. Surprise her at work, throw her PB&J in the trash, and take her out to lunch.	/r/askMRP	02/12/15 08:15 PM
3	Branch swinging wife, Update 2 It's not harmless, but it's only reflective of your relationship. You need to focus only on what you can control - your relationship with your wife. Orbiters will always be there (e.g., HS flame, work friend, hot guy at gym, etc.); they'll continue to just orbit as long as you are taking care of business. Fix yourself, fix your relationship; and in the interim monitor this other matter and prepare yourself for life without her.	/r/askMRP	02/12/15 06:28 PM
3	Red Pill Sexting OP, my favorite opener sext - "what color panties today" It always initiates a fun 5min exchange which get increasingly dirty and leaves us primed for later action. I also do well with invoking a fantasy. Example, text right before lunch: H "meet me at home in 10min". W "why" H "naked in the kitchen" and so on... However, don't over do it - you're done for today (stay radio silent). And don't turn it into a covert contract for sex when you get home. It should just be a sexy interlude in an other…	/r/askMRP	02/12/15 04:54 PM
1	Girl stopped having sex. Wants to wait until marriage Early 30s - I'm guessing she's been "married" many times already. Nuke this now. Can you imagine this marriage if you give in? She wants X, you want Y, she withholds sex until you cave and agree to X, and REPEAT.	/r/askMRP	16/11/15 10:36 PM
2	no desire to initiate "I just have no desire to initiate because it will just be the same ole bland, starfish, no foreplay sex. I withdraw physical affection all the time..." You can't be a sulking, wet blanket of a husband and expect her to go zero to 100 in bed. Enjoy your life, enjoy your wife. Here's an idea for tonight's dinner date: after you order your dinner and the waiter leaves, tell her you have an idea to spice things up and tell her to go to the bathroom, remove her panties, and hand them to you when she…	/r/askMRP	13/11/15 09:06 PM
3	Coming up on 11 years - am I too late to grab the reins? if you build it, they will come.	/r/askMRP	04/11/15 07:43 PM
1	Ever okay to verbalize request to expand sex life? I feel like it's a control thing with my wife. But, regardless, this discussion has led me to feel that I have been complacent and need to continue to push boundaries - I need to own that I have sexual desires beyond what she feels appropriate. I'd encourage you to capitalize on any extracurriculars available; you're either advancing or retreating.	/r/askMRP	04/11/15 02:39 PM
1	Ever okay to verbalize request to expand sex life? Agree, I need to demand what I want and refuse to go along if she's unwilling. I have no problem whipping any resulting shit tests. Another poster related it to new guys declining starfish - seems like the right approach.	/r/askMRP	04/11/15 02:31 PM
0	Ever okay to verbalize request to expand sex life? Huh, different strokes same story. Are you pushing for the BJ? And any tips on easing the wife into doggystyle?	/r/askMRP	03/11/15 09:47 PM
1	Ever okay to verbalize request to expand sex life? I think the "why" is a control issue, rather than something else (alpha widow, physical, body issues, etc.). So, how do you deal with control issues?... just ease her into it I guess. Aren't control issues about trust? I feel like she should have no problem giving herself over to me completely - and she seems to otherwise.	/r/askMRP	03/11/15 07:51 PM
-1	Ever okay to verbalize request to expand sex life? Correct, I'm not going to manhandle her into doggystyle. I've tried that and failed. And nothing has been more pleasing these last couple of years than seeing her step up in trying to please me. Seems unanimous that I don't verbalize this outside of the moment (i.e., no State of Our Sex talk). What do you think of other's suggestion that I walkaway at that point? I'm ready to shake things up with her. It's not acceptable to me that part of the menu is off the table.	/r/askMRP	03/11/15 06:36 PM
1	Ever okay to verbalize request to expand sex life? If I'm honest with myself I'll admit that I've never been that direct with her. That's a different tact from "I love the way your ass looks and makes me horny, let's do it this way...", no? Trial and error I guess.	/r/askMRP	03/11/15 06:13 PM
0	Ever okay to verbalize request to expand sex life? Agree, it's giving in to her demands (or limits). Get up and walk away - huh, it's not starfish, duty sex. It's good passionate sex, I just want to add some new wrinkles. I can give the walkaway a try, but concerned about it looking butthurt and, even she does it, it would be negotiated, begrudging sex. Nevertheless, it'll shake things and is probably better than verbalizing. I imagine she'll enjoy it once we try it. As to the "why", I wish I knew - retaining a sense of control maybe.	/r/askMRP	03/11/15 06:09 PM
2	Ever okay to verbalize request to expand sex life? No, don't think it's an alpha widow situation. I'm pretty sure I've gotten the best out of her. So, keep any discussion in the moment only then?	/r/askMRP	03/11/15 05:59 PM
-1	Ever okay to verbalize request to expand sex life? that's the story. No trauma - a strong sense of maintaining control maybe	/r/askMRP	03/11/15 05:56 PM
2	LMR, Shit test, or comfort test before sex +1. She's not into sex w/ you. This is duty sex and her demands are just ways of making it more tolerable for her. The correct response is a dismissive snort and go do something you enjoy. And, if she asks, "it's not working for me." Don't pout or act butthurt (and do not give in if she then offers to take off her shirt or whatever - follow thru on doing your own thing). Does she ever initiate sex? And, for women, initiating can be extremely subtle. I bet she doesn't act this way when she initia…	/r/MarriedRedPill	16/10/15 07:24 PM
1	Declined starfish, cold war ensued STFU means STFU. I get it, you want to use rationality and logic to explain to her why she's wrong. It never works, women run on emotions. How do you not engage? First STFU. It's tricky with a direct line of questions, but never accept the premise of the question (political debate tactic) and never answer directly. Within 48 hours the OP will be derisively asked why he's been pouting the last fews days. Don't answer - don't deny being pouty. Get in her face, hands on her hips/ass, "Good, you're …	/r/askMRP	01/10/15 07:48 PM
4	Declined starfish, cold war ensued STFU and continue life unfazed. "Act Cool" is often seen as "pouting", and certainly not OI. If you want sex w/ her, initiate at will. If you get a hard no and puke fest, don't engage and STFU. BTW, declining starfish may been the right move, but, if she was into it, I would have jumped up to close the door and then slowly walked back to bed for some standing/edge of bed action.	/r/askMRP	01/10/15 04:28 PM
5	Weekday Sex - What's acceptable? All starfish sex is duty sex, but not all duty sex is starfish sex. And starfish < duty (vanilla/weekday) < porn star. Starfish and duty sex may involve the same acts, but the difference is the passion involved. Repeated starfish is unacceptable. How to make duty sex better? Stay in your frame - if you want to hang from the chandeliers, do it. She'll either follow your lead or not. And if not, continue if you want to and stop if you want to stop. If she initiates (even on a weekday), that's like…	/r/MarriedRedPill	24/09/15 09:19 PM
1	Starfish? No thanks. I could have written the exact same post 6 months ago - word for word my experience as well (my wife even makes funny, goofy noises and comments when disinterested as well). Pulling out and saying "this isn't working for me" is magic. Whether to accept starfish sex is a common question around here for good reason. The answer in my view depends entirely on context and frame. First, the goal should be to turn starfish into SGM - being in the same boat as OP w/ dual incomes and two small kids, I've…	/r/MarriedRedPill	24/09/15 01:50 PM
20	Dad Accused of Sexual Harassment Update: Dad Fired in Femnazi Conspiracy A resignation signed under duress and severance received is not binding if the employee wasn't given adequate time to consider his options and consult w/ counsel. Your dad should immediately talk to an attorney. BTW, the boss is clueless if he thinks this will appease them. He's just given them a win and emboldened them to do it again.	/r/askTRP	18/08/15 05:06 PM
1	I turned down sex last night. Am I doing this wrong? "She says "thanks for listening." it appears she is now ready, but I am tired as fuck. its 10.30pm. I tell her its now my bed time, she asks if I want a blowjob, but I told her no." My response: "Alright but I'm tired, let's see how fast you can get me off". Make it a performance challenge. I once innocently told a GF that there was no way she could fit all of me down her throat, without expectation. In three seconds my pants were around my ankles and she was doing her best to prove me wrong. Ye…	/r/MarriedRedPill	06/08/15 05:58 PM
10	Long time lurker, first post.. Red flags: vanilla sex, "nagging routing of asking me if I brushed my teeth", 7 year monogamous LTR, "no questions asked when I spend time with my friends" (why would there be?), temper tantrums, cold water in face. This relationship needs a major reset. The best thing you could do for the relationship and yourself is not to move in with her, build your own life apart from her and then, provided you still want to, invite her into your world where there are consequences for such disrespectful act…	/r/MarriedRedPill	27/07/15 07:36 PM
1	I love her... Break up for university? Been there done that w/ high school LTR - we tried to stay together and do a LDR thru college. So dumb and it ended exactly how you expect it would (AWALT). What a waste of nearly my entire freshmen year. You could just plate her, cheat on her, run it into the ground, etc. If you actually want to preserve a chance for the relationship longterm (like after college if you happen to end up in same city), break it off clean and go no-contact, and wait till next summer break to have some fun and then…	/r/askTRP	19/05/15 09:27 PM
10	I'm 27, GF is 28 and I can see her looks fading and it's scaring me away from an otherwise fantastic LTR I'm in a similar boat - my wife is a year older and still is very attractive, although I now caveat this by adding "for her age". We're both approaching 40 and, despite eating right and exercising, she really began to show some age after two kids. Unlike you, we started dating when she was 23 - so I got some near primetime. After following RP I've made some dramatic improvements in my life, career, and physique in the last 18 months and she feels the soft dread now and recognizes the need to mak…	/r/askTRP	15/05/15 10:06 PM
7	[FR] Rookie's first at-bat in the big leagues Her: "well, we're having sex, so we can close it after we're done." Me: "Oh. Well you didn't do what I said, so...no." And I rolled over. You had me up until here. I can see the butthurt pout. If your wife wants sex, give her Sex God Method sex – pound her, spank her for not following your directions. Your approach was initially fine, albeit it’s a bit of a hail mary if you’ve got no vibe going and she isn’t feeling the attraction. You took a shot and guess what she wants to fuck you (did she pu…	/r/MarriedRedPill	09/02/15 09:47 PM
1	Saying no to bad sex http://therationalmale.com/2011/10/12/frame/ There's a lot of great redpill sites that can teach you what to do, but IMO Rollo is the best at explaining why things work. Once you have the theory, application is that much easier.	/r/MarriedRedPill	05/02/15 10:24 PM
1	Saying no to bad sex Good, I hope this helps. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I hate even writing this – but there was a point in my marriage when I resigned myself to once a week (often less) boring sex, and porn of course. I remember even asking my wife why no more BJs – like she had forgot they existed and needed a reminder. She gave me hamster BS about how that was only when we were younger, hurts her jaw, and that’s what sluts do, blah blah blah. This is the same woman that couldn’t keep her mouth of…	/r/MarriedRedPill	05/02/15 08:24 PM
2	Saying no to bad sex I’ve considered the OP’s exact question before. As background, I’m mid-30s, married 9 years w/ two young kids. This is my approach. I now view my wife’s sexuality as a 1-100 scale. The higher I am towards the top the better the sex will be. How do I get to the top? Lift, dress better, IOIs from other women, take charge at home, squash her shit tests, outcome independence, prime her pump (mid-day texts, 10sec kiss), and fuck her good (the SGM works). Sex (and most other things for women) is emoti…	/r/MarriedRedPill	05/02/15 04:54 PM