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JackOfCrusades Archive

View 0 posts and 100 comments by JackOfCrusades on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Counterposition: this is an issue of approach, not location. The dude in question is hitting on all the women he sees right out of the gate, screenshotting their boobs, etc. That's unfortunate behavior at the gym, or a coffee shop, or a party, or basically anywhere else. There is no situation where women are suddenly going to be receptive to that. There are ways to be social but not creepy at the gym. They might result in a number or a date. There's nothing magically repellent about talking to p…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 11:33 AM
9

Yes. I think if you pulled random Americans, who were not themselves involved in the trans rights movement, off the street and asked them to name a prominent voice in trans rights, a lot of them would come up with Dylan Mulvaney. Just as if you pulled random Americans, who were not themselves involved in the red pill movement, off the street and asked them to name a prominent voice in the red pill, many would come up with Andrew Tate. Influencers are bad representatives of their respective movem…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 01:36 PM
7

I would argue that happens with every movement. When the average person thinks of the trans rights movement, they don't think of civil rights and healthcare, they think of Dylan Mulvaney. When they think of feminism they think of screechy, blue-haired women bitching about manspreading. When they think of Islamic fundamentalism they think of ISIS. When they think of men's rights they think of whiny misogynists. People are ignorant. We should try to be better.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 01:25 PM
10

I'm 100% in agreement here. I find a lot of the fatalistic, woman-hating, sexual determinism that gets called "red pill" today is pretty antithetical to the original message.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 12:58 PM
4

I disagree on two points. The first is that Tate is some paragon of TRP. He's an influencer, who has built himself a brand around it. But for a newbie looking to understand TRP, I've never seen anybody recommend "go watch a bunch of Tate videos." He's not a foundational voice of the same caliber as, say, Rollo or Pook. Second, I don't think TRP sets out to exploit vulnerable women. Outside of general advice to quickly move on from a partner who isn't meeting your standards, very little of TRP is…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 12:27 PM
14

Negotiation has the idea of BATNA, the "best alternative to a negotiated agreement." Basically, the person with the most power to shape a deal is the person most able to walk away. In relationship terms, that means you have ability to hold high standards and not settle, because you have other options on the table. If I want specific behaviors from my partner, and you aren't willing to do those, that's fine; I can find someone else who will. I don't find that idea inherently skeevy. It becomes a …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 11:58 AM
2

I've literally never heard anybody complain about age gap relationships outside of reddit. From the amount of play time it gets here, you'd assume this was some huge issue. If you want one, and you have the pull to make it happen, go for it. The social stigma is way overblown.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 11:34 AM
2

Yes and no. For sure beauty standards have a cultural component to them. Breast size is a good example. Some of the traditional body-modification practices in Africa are another. But there's also a strong component related to perceived reproductive fitness. Facial symmetry, for example, is considered beautiful pretty universally. As is greater height in men, and a defined waist in women. I think the broader point, though, is even if beauty standards were entirely cultural, we live in a culture. …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 01:55 PM
32

One of the core ideas in the red pill is that desire isn't negotiated. It's not coming from the rational part of the brain. You can have all the best, most logical reasons in the world not to sleep with somebody, and still find them viscerally attractive. Conversely, somebody can be sweet, and sensitive, and morally upright, and whatever else you have told yourself you want in a partner, and still give you the ick in a way that turns you off entirely. So to answer your actual question, red pill …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 12:32 PM
22

This. I don't necessarily disagree young people (men and women) are less self reliant than they were in the past. But the specific examples of "I can't log in to my account" or "can you point me to your lost and found?" are objectively not wildly unreasonable questions for someone to ask gym support staff.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 03:22 PM
25

I think the "men are intimidated by successful women" idea is mostly bullshit. I mean, probably some, but it's a pretty low percentage. I do think, for the most part, men are not attracted to women because of their success. You having a successful career is like you having a birdhouse collection; it's not a negative, it's just irrelevant to our desire. That said, a lot of women think that in order to build a successful career they need to make themselves more confrontational and less kind. Maybe…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:10 AM
4

if she finds you attractive That's the key point though, these guys are expecting niceness to generate that initial attraction, which it mostly doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 01:14 PM
1

The first definition from the American Heritage Dictionary is literally: Nice: adj. Pleasing and agreeable in nature. It doesn't seem like a stretch to say nice people are more people-pleasing, more passive, and less likely to assert their own opinions and desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 01:10 PM
–

Prejudice that appears benevolent is still prejudice. But is it still misogyny? If someone were to believe gender stereotypes that sometimes benefit men and sometimes benefit women, does that make them both a misogynist and a misandrist simultaneously? That seems nonsensical. More generally, I think you are over-indexing on nurture and under-indexing on nature. There are differences in brain structure between men and women, including some that show up before birth. Attributing every discrepancy …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 05:19 PM
–

I don't think I agree that sexism is just the union of misogyny and misandry. From the Cambridge dictionary: Misogyny: feelings of hating women, or the belief that men are much better than women. Misandry being the equivalent for men. I don't think all sex discrimination rises to that level. The whole premise of the distinction between equality and equity is that treating everyone identically does not always result in the most fair outcomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 02:27 PM
–

I'll grant you I'm sexist. (As, I would argue, is anybody who supports separate men's and women's sports leagues.) My point is that I would not have considered sexism automatically equivalent to misogyny. That's what I'm trying to clarify.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 01:31 PM
5

This is a super important point. The 1950s housewife-with-2.5-kids trope was a pretty tiny slice of history. For most of history, men didn't have it as good and women didn't have it as bad as the common narrative suggests. I think for a long time, patriarchy was about protection. Before a reliable law enforcement and court system to protect a woman's rights, being an unattached woman was dangerous. "Belonging" to the men in your life was legitimately the lesser evil, hence why so many women chos…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 01:18 PM
–

Can we define misogyny, for the purposes of this conversation? If we mean legit hatred of women, I would argue the number of misogynists out there is a pretty tiny fraction of men. If we mean dudes taking the stance "as a man, there are some things that come easily to me that women broadly struggle with" that changes the conversation. I don't hate or distrust women for being women. I also don't treat them exactly like I would men. I'm not upset at my cat for not behaving like a dog, that would b…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 12:28 PM
1

I'm genuinely curious, what are you doing if you're not having a conversation? Are you asking for a number/contact right away? What does that look like?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 12:11 PM
1

Women will always get more attention than men, online and off. Women have the option to be passive in dating, men don't. But men suck at approaching women. 90% of dudes will chicken out without ever approaching an attractive woman in person. Of the guys that do approach, 90% of them will be skeezy about it and hit on her right out of the gate. By approaching confidently and not being a sleezeball, you're already ahead of the vast majority of guys. Manage to have five or ten minutes fun conversat…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 05:08 AM
2

You've asked a bunch of guys this, and you've gotten the same answer from all of them. What are you hoping to achieve here? Note, these guys didn't say "looks are the only thing that matter," they all listed attractive personality traits. They were just different personality traits than you were expecting. I think a huge part of the frustration people (men and women) experience in dating comes from making themselves into someone who would be attractive to them, rather than someone attractive to …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:06 PM
1

I can state that reddit is controlled by lizard people. That doesn't make it true.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 03:45 AM
1

Okay. Denigrating. adj. (used of statements) harmful and often untrue; tending to discredit or malign. The original message wasn't harmful to women, wasn't untrue, and was not intended to discredit or malign them. Hell, the idea was women would be happier and better off with men following RP principles. You may disagree with that take. But it's disingenuous to claim it was coming from a misogynistic place.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 03:29 AM
3

I mean that the core ideology has always been focused on denigrating women. That has always been an essential part. I'm calling bullshit. The original message was never "women are evil," it was "women are largely driven by their hormones and emotions, expecting otherwise is futile." At worst it could be accused of having a blind spot about how men are also largely driven by their hormones and emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 03:09 AM
4

they were just awkward or poor grooming/fashion and just plain inexperienced A lot of the early redpillers came from relationships. They found a girl, they settled down, they thought they had won. And then they got left/cheated on/divorced and set out to never wind up there again. But it's also important to note that misogyny was always a core part of red pill. Depends what you mean. I'll grant you TRP has always cast a lot of stuff as "women do this" rather than "humans do this." Self-centeredn…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 10:12 PM
6

Yes and no. I don't think being nice on its own is necessarily unattractive either (depending on how we define it). But it is highly correlated with other behaviors - non-assertiveness, lack of expressed opinions on anything, constant apologizing, lack of boundaries, conflict avoidance, passive agression - that are unattractive. Men who are confident, assertive, express clear boundaries and enforce them, etc. are inherently shaping the world to fit them, rather than shaping themselves to fit the…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 03:38 PM
28

"Nice guys finish last" doesn't mean women aren't people, or that guys should be "owed" sex, or that men are defining their morals through pussy, or women can't have sex on their own terms. It just means that being nice, on its own, doesn't make you attractive to most women. Which it doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 03:14 PM
1

I mostly agree, but I think there's some nuance. When you ask a woman for dating advice, she thinks about some guy she's attracted to, and how she would want him to act with her. So you get advice that's decent for establishing and maintaining a relationship, provided attraction already exists. But most of the time guys aren't asking for that. Guys biggest hurdle is sparking that attraction initially, and women suck at giving advice on that. First because most of them have never had to worry abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 12:40 PM
2

I'd grant this is where it started. (And that OPs take is stupid.) But for example in this poll, most Americans (82%) believed "men and women should be social, political, and economic equals," but only 20% self-identified as feminist. That's a lot of people who consider feminism to have connotations beyond just equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 01:35 PM
–

😂 Edited
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 12:45 AM
–

I can't find a super rigorous source, but a survey from Psychology Today finds 20% of men and 13% of women have cheated on their spouse. You could argue that some people cheat and aren't willing to admit it to a survey, but 56% still seems pretty far-fetched.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 08:41 PM
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I'm not so sure. I used to be a pretty big gamer, now I'm not. Games are structured to be challenging, and give you a feeling of accomplishment when you rise to that challenge. I found that, personally, I was pouring hundreds of hours into games that gave me the feeling of building something, but without anything to actually show for it at the end. I stopped gaming cold turkey. When I did, I found I started channeling that desire to be challenged and build stuff into other avenues. I got a new j…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 08:30 PM
5

There isn't an objective standard, it depends on the relationship. Creepy is just relationship behaviors outside the context of a relationship. The hot guy she's banging buys her flowers and texts her a dozen times a day? That's sweet. He tells her about how he wants to tie her up with her own panties? That's hot. The unshowered neckbeard does those same things? He's creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 02:19 PM
7

This is interesting. I consider myself to be pretty red, but all of my active engagement in red pilled communities was like a decade ago. There are a lot of comments in this thread that differentiate "old school TRP" from "nu-TRP." That makes me sad. Old school TRP was good shit. If these concepts don't exist any more in TRP, then there isn't really a place for guys to get them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 02:04 PM
5

Yes. 11 years married, 2 kids. Red leaning, but not in an "I hate women" way, just in recognizing that humans are a lot more driven by their biology and emotions than by their logic, and there are significant sex differences in those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 01:42 PM
2

Yes. There was a post yesterday from somebody in basically this situation, and the top voted comment said something like: When you can just be yourself and develop detachment from dating outcomes, you develop true confidence, which will make you more attractive. So the response to somebody for whom blue pill advice wasn't working absolutely was to just double down harder on blue pill advice and accept the outcome with grace.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 01:31 PM
14

Oooh, tangential story time! When I was in college, I was making out with a girl on her bed, working on escalating things. She whispered in my ear "what do you want?" and I replied "you." I then asked her the same question and she went instantly frigid, sat up, and replied "nothing." I was confused and sort of hurt by the whiplash. And doubly so when, five seconds into me processing, she wound up and kicked me in the leg. Twice. I mumbled something like "okay," got up, and left. I found out late…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 02:38 PM
3

That's fair. Though you could level the same critique at feminist spaces; too often it seems like "the people succeeding under this system are men" is taken to mean "men are succeeding under this system," when those are not in fact logically equivalent statements.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 03:23 PM
–

I'm politically pretty centrist. In most of Europe I'd be considered a conservative, but in the US I wind up voting Democrat, because the right has gone batshit crazy. I'm also a millennial, so old enough to have avoided the some of the more extreme liberal stances. And still I often feel like I'm voting with Democrats in spite of their platform, rather than because of it. Straight, white guys are constantly cast as the beneficiaries of patriarchy, who need to learn to share the sandbox. College…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 02:28 PM
3

True. Nobody claims the red pill destroys the matrix, just that takes you out of it. MRA is about improving conditions for men generally; TRP is very much about improving outcomes for you individually. There is some overlap in membership, but those are distinct movements. The TRP stance would be "most humans are oppressed schlubbs, you'll have more power to effect change - no matter what you're doing - if you're not one of them."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 01:51 AM
3

red pill isn’t challenging patriarchy, it’s upholding it Challenging it in favor of what? There has never been a developed society anywhere, ever that hasn't had hierarchies of power and wealth. It's not like "patriarchy" is some accident our society happened to fall into. When losing happens suddenly it’s “genetics, height, jawlines, biology…” things that can’t be changed. I would have said that shifting of responsibility was more Black Pill than Red. Red Pill (to my mind) acknowledges that thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 02:59 PM
5

I would never claim that women created the hierarchy. Men divide themselves into hierarchies all the time, even in the absence of women. It's a pretty core male behavior. Red Pill recognizes that people at the top of the social hierarchy are ranked and treated very differently (by women and men). It therefore sets the goal of winning the hierarchy. The men at the top of the hierarchy are feasting: they’re rich, powerful and having the time of their lives. Yes. That's the ideal we aspire to. Are …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 01:13 PM
8

Do y’all ever strike up convos with men? Yes. Frequently. As well as women I'm not attracted to. Old people. People walking their dogs. They're obviously free to disengage, nobody owes anybody else conversation. But creating small talk with the people around you isn't a "hitting on women" thing, it's a "socially calibrated human" thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:46 PM
43

A lot of the confusion between men and women on this comes from not differentiating attraction generating characteristics from relationship maintaining characteristics. Being kind and caring is the latter. It's good in a long term partner, but it has to be in addition to traits that are attractive. Otherwise you wind up friend zoned, "too nice", "nice but not sexy", "the 'spark' just wasn't there." I think most Nice Guys™ start our as genuinely nice guys, who get more and more frustrated that th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 01:28 PM
2

I dunno why you've chosen the "Purple Pill" flair, OP. This take is pretty solidly red, in my view, and I agree with all of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 12:22 PM
1

The dating life of the average woman and the average man are very different In other news, water is wet! More at 10.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 03:05 AM
2

I don't think it's a conscious thing (mostly). Attraction isn't a choice; we don't decide logically to be turned on by somebody. There are buttons getting pressed early in the relationship that stop being pressed over time, and sex tapers off. As a guy who wants sex, it's on you to figure out what those buttons are and how to keep them lit up. I suspect mostly what's going on in these women's minds is gee, I wish we still had the "spark" that we used to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 02:50 AM
4

It's easy to see different and put a moral spin on it. My way is good/right/civilized, the other ways are bad/wrong/irrational/unevolved.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 02:29 AM
12

I think once you get past the vitriol and moral posturing, there's a lot more common ground than people like to admit.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 11:49 PM
8

In a world full of monsters, you want your monster to be the baddest of the bunch.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 11:22 PM
34

I'll take these one at a time: Do you think women collectively use sex against men? Yes and no. I don't think that there's some secret cabal of women scheming to deprive men of sex, or anything like that. But women's desire is, most of the time, the limiting factor for sex. When you control access to a thing other people want, you (very naturally) have more power in the relationship. Not in a manipulative way, just in a "negotiated agreement" way. Why do you think women don't have sex if they wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 09:00 PM
5

His point is you are misusing the term. Friend zone: taking the emotional benefits of friendship with no intention of getting sexual. Fuck zone: having casual sex with somebody with no intention of it turning into anything more. If you're in the friend zone you're a friend; if you're in the fuck zone you're fucking. You cannot be accused of fuck zoning somebody you have never fucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 09:06 PM
–

I mean, yes. Discontented men are unequivocally more dangerous than discontented women. Is there more nuance to it than that?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:01 PM
1

I mean, yes. Discontented men are unequivocally more dangerous than discontented women. Is there more nuance to it than that?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 05:00 PM
1

Yes and no. I agree that the narrative around the male loneliness epidemic puts too much emphasis on romantic partners. But it's also worth recognizing that men are dramatically less likely to have strong social networks outside of their romantic partner, they often get both needs filled from the same relationship. And part of that is just a difference in how men and women come at friendship. Male friendships tend to be very task oriented; I have male friends I've known for years and hang out wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 12:43 PM
1

I think social media takes a lot of the blame here. Not any particular social media platform, but the premise of being able to follow/subscribe/friend content you like and unfollow/block/unfriend content you don't. Everybody now lives in little echo chamber bubbles that reinforce and amplify their current worldview. We've taken confirmation bias and turned it up to eleven, and are somehow surprised that people are more divided and extreme.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 12:42 PM
2

Sometimes that too. One of the failure modes of blue pill is to undergeneralize, and naively dismiss bad behavior as a fluke long past the point where I would take it to be representative of the group as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 01:35 PM
5

This is a good point. The experiences that bring men to the red pill might be things they see happen to the men around them, not necessarily things they go through themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 05:19 PM
7

I think it's even worse than that. Men need purpose. For a long time that purpose was to fill a hunter/defender archetype. Then it shifted to be a more abstract provider/breadwinner archetype, but it was still important. Now neither of those is necessary. We have whole generations of guys raised on slogans like "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" and conversations around "toxic masculinity." I think a lot of guys are really struggling to define what it means to be a man in a world …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 04:27 PM
3

I don't want to oversell the "red pillers are all traumatized" point. While getting obsessed with status is unhealthy (just like getting obsessed with anything), there is a core of it that's real. Take looks. There are a lot of platitudes that looks don't matter: "beauty is only skin deep", "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", "it's what's on the inside that counts." But the Halo Effect is incredibly well documented. Attractive people have more success, not just in dating and relationships, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 04:18 PM
21

Partly because life is legitimately easier when you're wealthy, popular, and good looking. When I first joined reddit (too many years ago) I was sort of baffled by r/atheism. It was a community of people congratulating each other on how smart they all were for not believing a thing. The whole place was cringey. But somebody explained to me that it was reactionary. They were mostly people who grew up scarred by very religious environments, and a space like that was what they needed to heal. I vie…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 01:43 PM
3

Dang man, it seems like you've had a rough go of it. I hope things turn around for you. If I can be brutally honest here for a sec, the framing that "tbh there isn't much more to life than sex" probably isn't doing you any favors. In my experience, women are much more attracted to a guy with a fun, fulfilling life they can merge into, than a guy who conditions his entire happiness on whether or not they put out.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 03:33 AM
2

There's more to life than sex. This feels like optimizing for a part at the expense of the whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 10:18 PM
2

For contrast, look at the pay gap... yet I have never heard a woman say "we rarely get paid" If the pay gap were a real thing, maybe you would.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 03:04 PM
0

It doesn't seem worth it to me. Guys are (on average) much more interested in casual, anonymous sex. If they had the same ability to get it that women do, they would. To a much greater degree than women currently do. Looking at the women-dominated spaces that exist today, I wouldn't want to remake all of society to look like those spaces, just so the average dude could have a non-stop, hedonistic pussy party.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 01:25 PM
2

I mean, we could. But why would we want to? You seem to be assuming that men and women are equivalent in all respects other than access to sex. Which they aren't. There would be massive, unpredictable side effects of shifting to a society that was like 90% women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 04:09 AM
2

No, my point is that words are themselves actions. Body language is actions. I could ask "do you really love me?" and a woman could respond "of course" and seem to mean it, but really be lying to me. That's where it gets philosophically complicated. Take a hypothetical world where I'm in a perfect, round-the-clock charade of a loving relationship, but I know it's secretly a charade. I legitimately don't know if I would be satisfied with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 03:03 PM
6

I'm not sure what argument you're making here. The laws specify 18 (or in some places 16). That's a lot of years between "legal, consenting adult" and age 25.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:47 PM
5

At that point it's sort of a philosophical, p-zombie question: if you're in a relationship with a woman who you know doesn't love you, but she reacts in every situation identically to how she would if she did, is that okay? How do you know someone loves you at all if not by their actions? On the other hand, it might get into uncanny valley territory, and be worse than blatant indifference, in a Stepford Wives way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:18 PM
1

I'm confused by the whole "want to get to know a guy before dating" thing. Isn't dating how you get to know somebody?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 11:01 PM
3

Fair enough. I'm glad you found an arrangement that works for both of you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 03:42 AM
4

I hope you don't mind my asking, but I'm legitimately curious: why be in a romantic relationship at that point? What do you get from a sexless relationship with a girlfriend that you don't get from platonic friends or roommates or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 02:20 AM
2

Young childcare is wildly expensive, no matter how you slice it. I live in a mid-sized, liberal-leaning city in the US. Putting two kids in full-time daycare around here is comparable to a mid-range mortgage payment every month.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 05:01 PM
2

It could though. In my area, a live-in au pair is financially more accessible than putting a couple kids in daycare. If I were a single dad of young kids, I would 100% do that. To be clear, I'm not arguing that's a better solution than a traditional relationship. But if we're commoditizing child rearing, infant care isn't the biggest obstacle.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 04:15 PM
2

They just said top tier women wind up with top tier men, and average women wind up with average men. I would argue an inability to take out the trash doesn't even merit "average" status. If all the men you wind up with struggle with basic competencies of being an adult, maybe some introspection is in order.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 12:24 PM
1

You think a woman is going to stay in a relationship with a guy who treats her like "a new mommy doing everything for [him]"?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 12:11 PM
–

I think there's an important caveat here, which has to do with how attractive you see yourself. Whichever way the genders run, someone who thinks their partner is way out of their "league" will be more likely to stay invested in the face of red flags. You'll be more willing to put up with poor treatment from a hot partner than an otherwise unattractive partner, particularly if you don't see yourself ever being able to find another equally hot partner in the future. So in that sense you probably …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:20 PM
–

Even relationships within the (age/2 + 7) rule now get judged. Like 22 & 18, or 40 & 27, will still get side-eyes today.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 12:56 PM
3

Agree to disagree, I guess? This seems like the root of why we're talking past each other. You're struggling to imagine how a well-adjusted person could feel like they "need" sex. I'm struggling to imagine how they could not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 06:42 PM
6

How are you defining "need"? Do men need sex? Do men need friends? Do men need purpose? None of those are needs in the sense that we would literally die without them. But all three of those make a huge difference in how happy and well adjusted a man is in his life.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 12:41 AM
2

You're assuming those things are equivalent though, and they're not. I like a good hug. I jack off regularly. Anybody who thinks those things are equivalent to sex, though, is not having good enough sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 04:59 PM
8

It's not an either/or thing. If you don't enjoy each other's company outside of sex, that's not a strong relationship. If you aren't having regular sex, that's also not a strong (romantic) relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 04:55 PM
8

I think it's that different needs have different priorities, and for most men most of the time sex is the limiting factor. If I'm lost in the desert without food or water, water is going to be top of mind for me. I'm going to spend most of my energy trying to get more of it. Not because "all I care about is water" - food is really important too - it's just that I can live for weeks with no food, where the lack of water becomes acute in a day or two. If sex was available on tap for guys, I think …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 04:49 PM
–

Those are not equivalent. You can get a degree in meteorology or editing, and somebody will hire you and pay you a salary for it. Ergo work. For the vast majority of artists, art is a passion not a meaningful source of income. The incentive structure of social media is entirely different. If income is directly proportional to social media engagement, then creators have strong reasons to make content that is emotionally inflammatory. All other things being equal, an inflammatory creator will alwa…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 01:47 PM
0

I'll be honest, I never understood the point women were trying to make. If you're talking about a forced interaction, why the woods? Is the point "I would feel safer locked in a room with a bear than strange man"? Because that's indicative of an unhealthy level of anxiety.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 01:32 PM
–

Doing content is real work. It absolutely is not. If you want to share your ideas, become a writer. "Doing content" is narcissism with glitter on top.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 04:25 AM
9

I feel like the "trail" part of this changes things. A trail is a place where there is a high likelihood of meeting other people to start with. Let's say I'm in the woods more generally, somewhere where I didn't expect to run into a person or a bear. In that context, I never understood why this was so controversial. I would rather meet a bear than a human in the woods, for exactly the reasons you mentioned. Let's ignore the dangerous scenarios for a sec. A bear's instinct is going to be to leave…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 01:06 PM
7

No, and I'm in my thirties and have moved around a lot. It's rare for a couple reasons. First, the vast majority of abusers are serial offenders. So even where abuse is fairly common, abusers are much less so. Second, most abuse is carried out in private. Contrary to popular belief, most people have a low tolerance for violence towards women. So anybody who is abusive for any length of time has figured out how to keep it quiet. I had a roommate in college who went on steroids and turned into a r…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:20 AM
6

OK, let's actually bring in some data. In the US, both men and women are working more hours per week than they were 50 years ago. Women spend (on average) more time on housework and childcare tasks in a given week; men spend more time on paid work. The differences, while statistically significant, are not huge. According to the American Time Use Survey, in 2024 women spent an average of 24 minutes more per day on household activities (relative to men), and men spent an average of 33 minutes more…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 08:42 PM
1

My point is, unless they're actually gloating about it ("Ha ha! You fell for my 'I want a relationship' bit"), how do you know? If every man you sleep with abruptly changes his mind about whether he wants a relationship, maybe that's not a commentary on men...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 02:31 PM
23

This is not at all specific to redpill. Social media is a cesspool that encourages performative and extreme personas. Those personas get clicks/views. And those views are easy to funnel into leads to sell scammy shit people don't need. "Influencers" in literally every niche are hot garbage. The manosphere is no different.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 01:27 PM
3

Sexual compatibility is a huge factor in the success of a relationship. There's nothing dishonest about saying "I'm looking for a relationship. Let's get to know each other, have some sex, and see if this is something that could work out long term." Some people want to wait on sex until they're already in a committed relationship. More power to them. I like sex, so I wouldn't choose to date those people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/25 08:31 PM
2

I suspect it goes even further. I think a lot of times when these questions come up, people are confusing being confident and manly with being an "asshole" (while confusing being a pushover with being "nice"). Making your own needs a priority doesn't make you an asshole, it makes you a normal human being. Most women are interested in a partner, not a servant.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/15 10:55 PM
2

I don't think anybody is arguing that having a high-powered career and raking in cash makes you Beta. Broke-Rich and Alpha-Beta are like orthogonal axes. Men who are rich may or may not be Alpha, and men who are Alpha may or may not be rich. However, it's important to keep in mind that making money doesn't necessarily make you Alpha. I'm a software engineer; 90% of the men that I work with are absolute Beta doormats making six-figure salaries. The reason BetaBux gets talked about so much is that…
/r/TheRedPill30/05/15 07:56 PM
17

Before I found RP I'd had it drilled into me that men and women are fundamentally the same. They have different genitalia, but other than that it's all about "equality". I knew what I and most of my male friends found attractive: sweet, sincere, giving women (plus physical beauty, obviously). I get turned off by loud, abrasive attitudes. A girl who volunteered to cook a meal for me and then give me a massage was basically ideal. So I figured the way for me to be attractive was to display those s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/15 10:25 PM
6

Short answer: yes. One of the main differences between TRP and PUA (in my opinion) is that red pill doesn't rely on tactics. PUA "tactics" like you mention (negging) are about changing a specific woman's perception. If she picks up on them, they become less effective because they can seem a little forced. TRP on the other hand is about value. Are you more likely to date a fit, rich guy than a broke, chubby guy? It doesn't matter if he's "red pill", those are material changes that alter your attr…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/15 05:34 PM
3

Good point. I was interpreting "obsessed" as hyperbole, rather than a literal clinical disorder. In that sense obsession with sex is just as destructive as obsession with anything else. But I don't see obsession with sex as somehow worse than obsession with video games, or porn, or My Little Pony, or whatever other shit people get addicted to.
/r/TheRedPill23/05/15 05:32 PM
6

To be fair, the top Google result is a BBC article that starts: "He's described himself as 'the most hated man in the world'..." The amount of social and media backlash against him is way out of proportion, I'm not arguing that. But he coined the label for himself.
/r/TheRedPill23/05/15 02:51 PM
14

Honestly, I don't think an obsession with pussy is "unhealthy". Every guy is obsessed with pussy (maybe some of the MGTOW guys excepted). The desire for sex is a core drive. I'd bet 95% of the great men throughout history were at least in part motivated by pussy. As u/nodiggity9721 said, who gives a shit? Maybe they're scarred because they didn't get laid in their teens. Maybe their mothers didn't love them enough. Maybe they just have different priorities than you. So what?
/r/TheRedPill23/05/15 02:05 PM
1

My number one goal in being RP is to maximize my attractiveness, both in my own eyes and in the eyes of others. Above everything else I want to look in the mirror each day and be able to honestly say that I'm stronger/richer/fitter/more confident/etc. than I was the day before. The most critical part of TRP for me is the focus on personal responsibility. If I'm not achieving my goals - whatever those happen to be - then that's on me. It's nobody else's job to make sure that I'm happy or successf…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/15 09:10 PM
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