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Jaded_Promise80 Archive

View 0 posts and 134 comments by Jaded_Promise80 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Good looking = facial structure
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 06:26 PM
12

I’m saying this is what most women on this subreddit say. We hear it all the time. I agree with your last sentence
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 12:43 PM
–

The result would not be any different. The reason men struggle on dating apps is simply because most women don’t like most men’s facial structure. That’s it. Even if we listened to the advice about getting new clothes, new haircut, new photos, etc, women would swipe left because they don’t like what men’s faces look like
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 12:36 PM
15

Women here would disagree with you, as they would insist that if a guy can’t find a partner, he must be a bad person
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 12:32 PM
14

No, it’s not. It’s facial structure.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 11:54 AM
90

Yes, we know. Most women are not attracted to most men, and never will be. That’s the black pill. Welcome aboard!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:26 PM
2

I mean, sure, but let’s not pretend like that’s the main reason. There are plenty of men who can’t find a woman attracted to them, but treat women as people
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 01:10 PM
–

What I described is honestly what I hear everywhere. Internet, media, irl even
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 01:19 AM
–

“The only major difference between sex with an American man in 2016 and sex with an American man in 2026 is Roe v. Wade was overturned, and men on the internet are angrier if women don't fuck them. They are not interested in shibari meetups. They insist they are simple men who want their meat, potatoes, anal, and choking. Eroticism isn't a concern. Culturally, sexually hopeful men haven't adjusted to the 2020s. They consider an imaginary Chad their ultimate rival, not the air pulse toy.” That wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 12:32 AM
–

I see. I just don’t really appreciate being portrayed like the reason I can’t find a partner is because I’m some kind of bad person
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 12:06 AM
–

Thank you. In about a year of me having this account, searching for empathy or compassion, you are the first person to say that
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 09:52 PM
–

I’ve never had sex before, I can’t really find a partner
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 09:46 PM
–

Could you help me understand what that means specifically?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 09:29 PM
2

There are men who exist who are sex positive, educated on female anatomy, focused on enthusiastic and ongoing consent, and yet still don’t find that anyone is physically or sexually attracted to them. What do you say to those men?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 06:57 PM
6

I’m not arguing for any specific “pill”, viewing dating as a market with supply and demand, incentives, and rational agents is just a very commonsense way of seeing it
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 08:49 PM
7

It doesn’t mean anything. It is a correct and true way of seeing the world. Thus it should be believed
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 08:34 PM
6

If a model is sociologically accurate and it predicts behavior, it doesn’t really matter what anyone thinks of it. It’s true
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 08:31 PM
3

So… you admit that women are more valuable than men in terms of supply and demand?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 07:02 PM
10

From a perspective of supply and demand, yes, women are more “in demand” than men. Any woman can get a date within 24 hours if she wanted to. A ton of men couldn’t do it if their life depended on it
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 07:00 PM
6

Nobody’s talking about value as a human. We’re talking about value in the dating market
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 06:56 PM
3

That is how I was using them yes. I understand the way you’re using them now, thanks. But I still think that for there to be a healthy relationship there has to be at least some physical attraction. Not saying she requires a model but there needs to be a baseline level of physical attraction such that she can see herself in a relationship with him
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 05:52 PM
16

I agree. Which is why I don’t think it’s accurate to insist that men struggling with finding initial attraction must not be good people
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:24 PM
10

My guess is that a woman is only going to pick someone she finds attractive I’m confused. You said “no one ever said being decent would make women attracted to you” then you said “if you’re a normal man but literally can’t find a woman then something is likely wrong with you”. That erases the existence of decent man who can’t find someone attracted to them “My guess is you’re upset you can’t find a woman you like to date you, or a woman you’re attracted to to be attracted to you, which is an ent…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:54 PM
15

“Being merely decent won’t give you pick of the litter, and women who otherwise have options aren’t going to pick you because of it” I didn’t say otherwise “if you can’t find a single solitary woman ever in life interested in you, there is likely something wrong with you” This is the claim I have issue with. Sure, “likely”, but that’s different from “definitely”. As far as I know I don’t have anything wrong with me. I have a good job, work out, friends (including women) and a normal life. It’s h…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:41 PM
1

I might be dumb because this person’s comment isn’t making any sense to me, honestly. But it sounds like he’s just saying “we have to figure something out” rather than advocating mandating monogamy. If that is what he’s saying, I’m not agreeing with it. But it sounds like he wants to incentivize monogamy rather than mandate it Personally I don’t care about incentivizing monogamy. I think people should do whatever they want as long as they don’t hurt anyone. I just want people to be honest that, …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 02:49 PM
1

I don’t use words like “too selective”, because that makes a judgement. Women are more selective than men. That is a fact. It’s not that women are “too selective”, everyone has a right to their preferences I must admit I spend an unhealthy amount of time on this subreddit and I have never seen someone advocating state enforced monogamy or stripping away the freedoms of women. If I did see something like that, me and most men would vehemently disagree with it
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 02:22 PM
1

“you say a lot of things about how women need to change- but what it boils down to is you think these women should simply "settle for" men they have no desire for.” Nobody says or thinks these things. Pointing out that women are selective is not the same as demanding that they be less selective. It’s an observation, not a prescriptiob
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 02:12 PM
24

The thing is that people online say the same thing. “If you can’t find someone, you’re a terrible person” —> implication: “being a decent person is sufficient to find someone”. This is the mainstream cultural narrative that most people say.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:59 PM
14

This is correct. When you give women the freedom of choice, they don’t choose most men. Women’s freedom is not a bad thing, it’s a good thing, and we should fight for it. But it has secondary social affects that we should be honest about rather than gaslighting men into thinking they’re “just terrible”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 04:53 PM
-1

I appreciate that, but what you wrote is basically blaming me for getting unlucky. Even if that’s not what you intended
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 08:51 PM
0

This is an example of people like you gaslighting us For one, I didn’t realize women were mind readers. No, it’s not that “my attitude shows through my interactions”. Especially not on dating apps For two, this is not an “attitude”, it’s an observation about reality For three, this is a victim blaming attempt. I have no dating experience despite trying, and rationally concluded I’m not attractive, then you say that my (true) belief that I’m not attractive caused my lack of success? As if causati…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 08:40 PM
1

There are situations that can be changed. But I am so disgustingly hideous that I don’t think that anything I do could really offset it
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 08:34 PM
1

You can’t change genetics, and genetics are what drive sexual attraction. Mother nature hasn’t evolved millions of years of evolution to get organisms to pass on “good personalities” or “confidence” to their children
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 08:07 PM
1

“Because the last few days, majority of posts have been about men not being able to get anyone in the dating department, and how it's women's fault for not dating average men. And every time I have asked what they're wanting, it's "empathy." So basically saying you want me to agree that women should date people they're not attracted to and give in to men and date the first one that comes along, despite no attraction, or no compatibility that they know of.” You misunderstand. I was born into a bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 01:21 PM
7

I don’t think that. There’s nothing that can replace a real woman with thoughts and feelings But, I will never have a relationship with a woman. So my choice isn’t between “real woman vs. robot” it’s “nothing vs. robot”. I’m still choosing nothing, but some men aren’t for this reason
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 11:41 PM
0

She could have, it depends on what her standards are. But if a woman’s standards are “I just want a guy who will treat me well” she wouldn’t be single
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 06:41 PM
2

You seem pretty hard on yourself. Is it alright if I DM? I’m not necessarily looking for a relationship but I’m here to chat if you want
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 01:21 PM
0

Because good single men are everywhere, and if she isn’t dating them, it’s because she’s ignoring them. That’s fine. But be honest about it. Don’t say “men are trash” or “there are no good men “, say “I’m looking for something specific and haven’t found it yet”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 01:08 PM
2

Can you explain what you’re talking about? What cognitive distortion?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 02:35 PM
0

I’ve asked out dozens of women and never been accepted. My social skills are fine and I have plenty of friends, including women. I’m a little shy but I got over letting that stop me from trying. My hygiene is fine. My life is mostly normal. It’s just that I’ve never met a woman who had romantic feelings for me I wish people would stop treating dating like a meritocracy, where no results indicate either a character flaw or lack of effort. That assumption is hurtful, especially when we all know th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 01:24 PM
1

Obviously there are differences, but I’m talking about the specific aspect of responsibility. If you hold men responsible for struggling with dating, you also have to hold homeless people responsible for being homeless. Yet you don’t. I’m asking why
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:16 PM
1

Why aren’t they comparable? In both cases the person has likely tried very hard, but failed. They could theoretically maximize every variable under the sun, but you only focus on that for one case and not the other
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:09 PM
0

You’re not understanding my comparison. If you wouldn’t focus on the few things that the homeless person could do, but you would instead give empathy and validation, why don’t you treat men who struggle with dating the same way?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:05 PM
0

Okay, let me redirect. Does a person have to try literally everything under the sun before you have empathy for them? If you see a homeless person, do you recognize he may be in that situation due to factors primarily outside of his control, or do you come up with things that he probably hasn’t tried in order to justify making the situation his own fault?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:48 PM
0

I’m sure you definitely know more about the lives of thousands of men you’ve never met than they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:33 AM
0

It’s a necessary condition but not a sufficient condition. I’m most likely socially normal, as I have friends, including many women. But I’ve never been on a date, nor had a woman interested in me before. Physical attraction is also a necessary condition, and if it doesn’t exist, there will be no date. If you’re generically unlucky and it doesn’t exist for anyone, then you become an incel
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:29 AM
1

When a guy says “I can’t get a date” and a woman says “it must be your personality”, “have you tried taking a shower?” Or “maybe stop hating women”, their intention is not to help anyone. They’re usually trying to protect their view of the world, that everything bad that happens must be someone’s fault, from evidence to the contrary. That’s why people make such obviously stupid arguments as explanations to why someone must be single - they cannot emotionally or intellectually handle the possibil…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 04:16 AM
5

This is the kind of thing OP is talking about. The logical conclusion of what you’re describing is that men are on average lower quality people than women
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:35 AM
–

Commenting here so I can use you as another example of a person who treats struggling in dating like a moral failure
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 03:33 PM
1

“Why did you buy a pet turtle?” See that? I just assumed something about you based on nothing. This is exactly the same as what you did. “People don’t know, so that’s why it happened” is not an argument
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 10:35 PM
1

Important detail for what? Nothing I said required you to know anything about me
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 10:27 PM
1

Then don’t assume.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 10:24 PM
1

Where did I say I’m not doing that? This is what we mean by the way. People like you who assume that if we can’t find a romantic partner that we must be spending all of our time on video games in mom’s basement are precisely the problem
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 10:19 PM
1

I’ve asked out probably dozens of women at this point. So I wouldn’t say i am “waiting” for much. And I am definitely not average looking
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 01:56 PM
1

I don’t think I have social maladjustments since i have a decent amount of female friends. I don’t have any pictures of myself. Maybe tomorrow. Thanks for your offer
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 06:21 AM
1

I do have self respect and I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who I would rather be single than be with. But my point is that they would reject me anyway so it doesn’t even really matter I agree that average people will get opportunities. Below average people get opportunities. 99% of people probably get an opportunity at some point. But not me. That’s why I believe I am ugly. I have no other explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:54 AM
1

Then here’s your argument: 1) if I have zero standards, that’s why I’m being rejected (not true btw, nobody can read my mind) 2) if I have a standard, now I’m rejecting people so you don’t have to take seriously how much of a disadvantage I have Do you hear how ridiculous this is? This kind of victim blaming is what makes us so upset. You are actively gaslighting me in order to protect your feel-good view of the world
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:33 AM
1

If we paired up, I wouldn’t reject them, they would reject me
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:25 AM
2

I do not have someone who likes me at all. Not just among the people I like. Nobody. That’s the difference
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:23 AM
3

I promise you there is not a single woman who can’t find a man who likes her. What she can’t find is a man who she likes and who also likes her Well, since you and everyone else insists that everyone who is just a normal and decent person will find themselves in a relationship one day, I must be pretty damn ugly in order for me to try as hard as I have with literally 0 success
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:16 AM
5

The difference is that any woman in the world can find a man if she wants to. The same is not true for men I know it’s rare. I’m probably the most ugly person who has ever existed tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 01:10 AM
2

You are agreeing with someone who said categorically that if a man can’t find a romantic partner then it must be because of some personal failure
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 01:08 AM
2

I mean, assuming that i must be doing something wrong is literally the definition of blaming. Right now you’re making two assumptions: 1) there does exist something that I’m doing that is causing women to reject me, and 2) that I haven’t done the necessary introspection. You have no right to assume those things. You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 04:40 PM
3

I think honesty is really all we want. If we are destined to be alone forever, with no hope of mutual interest, it would be nice if people would be honest that the reason why is not because we are just that terrible, but because of the biological reality that finding someone who likes me is essentially impossible as an ugly guy
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 01:56 PM
1

I think honesty is really all we want. If we are destined to be alone forever, with no hope of mutual interest, it would be nice if people would be honest that the reason why is not because we are just that terrible, but because of the biological reality that finding someone who likes me is essentially impossible as an ugly guy
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 01:55 PM
1

If you’re not convinced somehow, there are plenty of people on that thread and in this subreddit who blame men for not being able to find a partner. It’s everywhere
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 01:52 PM
7

That’s not the attitude I see generally speaking, it’s much more hostile. And when people assume that somebody must be doing something wrong otherwise their life would be different, that is called the just world fallacy. That’s why I said we need to stop pretending that dating is a meritocracy. People being sexually attracted to you is not based on being a good man. It’s based primarily on genetics. Millions of years of evolution didn’t program people to want to pass down good personalities to t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 01:43 PM
1

Exactly, and she says the words “personal failure”, which is my point
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 01:36 PM
2

I must be honest that I haven’t seen that specific narrative on this subreddit, though I do see other gross narratives about women online and I speak against them when I can I’m not against women, not remotely. I’m against pretending like dating is a meritocracy. I don’t hate anyone other than myself, and whatever god exists that made me this way
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 04:12 AM
3

No, and I’m not sure what that has to do with how she directly said that wanting to date and not being able to is a personal failure
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 03:58 AM
12

https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/RTNmSgQ8Hb I actually saved this comment the other day. This person says “you not being in a relationship despite wanting to is a personal failure”. I know it’s not every woman, and I appreciate that you don’t think this way, but enough people say things like this that it gets to you. Imagine not being able to find a partner, never being loved, never being noticed, never being chosen. When you ask for advice, you’re met with blame, false assumptions, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 03:41 AM
10

I don’t agree with people who blame women for being selective, that doesn’t make sense to me since they are asking women to date men they aren’t attracted to which isn’t good or healthy for either person What I’m confused on is why it seems so many people assume it must necessarily be the man’s fault. Borrowing from my other comment, why assume that someone who says “I cannot find anyone interested in me” must therefore be a woman-hater living in his mom’s basement who smells like roadkill? Do w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 03:29 AM
10

So why make it the man’s fault necessarily? I would understand it if he’s doing something obviously wrong, ex. If he is overweight, has too high standards, or is generally mean and abrasive. But if someone just says “I can’t find anyone interested in me romantically” why assume that person is a woman hater living in his mom’s basement who smells like roadkill? I don’t understand automatically making that leap. Is it because you don’t believe someone could be a good person and yet not be able to …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 03:25 AM
13

We do indeed. Unfortunately some of the women here don’t acknowledge that, instead saying that if someone struggles with dating it must be because they hate women or don’t shower enough
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 02:39 AM
22

Nobody is surprised by it. We are trying our best to get them to admit that women are more selective than men, and they refuse
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 01:54 AM
2

Thanks, that’s very kind of you. I am quite a bit younger than you, at 22. But I’d be down to chat if you want
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 08:31 PM
3

Obviously, that is not the only reason why someone would not have a sexual relationship with someone. It requires action on the part of other people as well. Someone can’t just “choose” to be in a relationship because relationships require two people choosing each other
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:52 PM
2

“You not being in a relationship despite wanting to is a personal failure” Just commenting here so I can use you as an example for all the times people say “nobody says being rejected is a moral failure, that’s a crazy thing to say”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:47 PM
8

What would you say to me? I’m a leftist, I treat people well, I have lots of female friends I enjoy hanging out with. I have tried for years to go on even just a lunch date and haven’t been successful. In my experience, people have a lot more requirements than just “be a good person”, so when people say things like “the bar is in Hell and if you can’t get a date you must be a piece of trash” it is confusing and invalidating
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:25 PM
1

I actually agree with you, but in my experience, it’s the women who insist that finding a relationship is all about being a good, social, funny person, not the men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 11:26 PM
1

The phrase “if you do X, you will get a girlfriend” is one that we hear all the time. But that contradicts the truth that physical attraction is a necessary condition for a relationship. X only works for men who have already passed the physical attraction filter If you are not physically attractive to anyone, it doesn’t matter what behavioral modifications or actions you may take. Those only make a difference after the initial filter
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 09:06 PM
8

Yes, there are other necessary conditions besides looks. So it isn’t “just” about having a good personality. It is one of many necessary conditions. Points to lose, not points to gain I’m not sure why either, but a lot of women here seem to have a hard time admitting it
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:01 PM
10

Right. It’s pretty clear. Not sure why so many women here insist “oh just have a kind personality”, “there’s someone for everyone”, “be funny and girls will love you”. Thanks for being honest
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 10:53 PM
8

That physical attraction is a necessary condition for a sexual relationship (whether long term or short term) and that people do not - and, honestly, should not - date someone that they are not physically attracted to
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 10:41 PM
9

Trust me, we’re not shocked. We’re trying to get you to admit it
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 10:36 PM
1

I can see those things. For men, it’s more like “it’s next to impossible to find a woman who is attracted to me”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 12:29 PM
2

I already addressed this, but people don’t always act in a way that’s beneficial to them. They act in a way that they perceive to be beneficial to them. I think that many women just don’t realize how unrealistic their standards are since they can get the top tier guy on the dating apps or the nightclub. Then they have a one night stand, get ghosted, cry for three days, and then repeat, hoping that one day they’ll meet someone who will actually stick around
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 02:52 PM
2

1) you brought up the 20/80 rule 2) it has been confirmed by numerous studies 3) I already explained how it happened - unrealistic social media standards 4) why is it more reasonable to believe that half of the population is “failing” than that the other half is “delusional”, especially when the mathematical facts are in favor of the latter?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 02:44 PM
2

There is nothing to question. I’ve presented nothing but mathematical facts. You asked, rhetorically, why you don’t adjust your standards. I returned your question, genuinely, and I am asking why you don’t adjust your standards when it becomes manifestly clear that they don’t align with reality?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 02:35 PM
1

I don’t know. Why don’t you?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 02:29 PM
2

Your question was loaded, so I defeated it’s underlying premise rather than answering it Yes, many (not all) women - conditioned by social media - have become so selective that they border on delusion. This has happened to men too, but to a lesser degree
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 02:12 PM
1

Your assumption is false. People will do what they perceive to be beneficial to them. People’s perceptions can be wrong In this case, since women are perceiving 80% of men as “below average” when mathematically 50% of men are below average, women’s ratings are not lining up with the mathematical facts, so their standards are the problem
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 02:06 PM
1

Mathematically, 50% of men are below average. That’s what the word “average” means. However, a study found that women rank 80% of men as below average. This means, obviously, that the women’s standards did not align with reality
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 01:36 PM
1

If you find a vast majority of a massive group of people unattractive, they’re not the issue. Your standards are
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 01:19 PM
1

Wow, that’s a lot of wild guesses and assumptions. Very wrong. You’re probably not very intelligent To correct you, I attend social events all the time. I have tons of female friends. I have asked out dozens of women in my life. Not a single date or even a phone number Get over it - it’s your height, jawline, facial structure, shoulder/waist ratio, eye area. It’s your genes. What else would it be? Evolution didn’t invent sex to bring us to people who were super kind. It invented it to pass on go…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 01:05 PM
1

I have asked out dozens of friends, acquaintances, classmates , etc
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 10:47 AM
3

I mean I would gladly pay a few hundred dollars if it meant I could go on a date lol. Never mind sex
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 08:24 PM
2

Guess my username fits lol No, I’m not jaded, I’m just trying to be realistic considering how many times I’ve asked people out and received no interest. It’s not confidence to believe in something without evidence - it’s delusion
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 06:37 PM
3

I wish I could say I agreed with you
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 06:22 PM
2

I would happily date anyone. All they have to do is say yes
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:53 PM
49

I have found, for me at least, merely stating that 1) I have never had a partner, 2) I would like to have a partner, is enough to lead to an onslaught of hatred, from both men and women Yes there’s always a reason why someone can’t find a partner, but I’m saying it’s not always about character. And if you say “I’m single because I’m not attractive” then you’ll get a ton of people telling you it’s because of your attitude and if you just changed that you would find someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 03:15 PM
206

I would like to say I’m good dude. I want to have a family. The reason I don’t spend all my time talking about how great I am is because 1) that makes you sound egotistical and 2) anyone can claim something about themself without having to prove it I don’t think women are necessarily ignoring good men, they’re ignoring unattractive men, and some unattractive men are good. The problem is when people moralize rejection and say that if you can’t find a partner it must be because you’re a woman-hate…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:53 PM
1

“Every day we are surrounded by couples”proves nothing. “Look over there! An example of X happening! Therefore, X must always happen and there must be no examples of situations where X doesn’t happen” Do you hear yourself? Look, the reality is that I’ve done everything, and it still hasn’t worked. I will give you 1000 dollars if you can think of some behavioral modification that I haven’t already tried
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 02:32 PM
1

Hey, I’m 22M and a math student in college. I have lots of friends, I play the guitar, I work out regularly I have asked out lots of friends and classmates, and been on dating apps. I’ve never had a relationship, a date, a kiss, a hug, anything. Zero matches on my profile either When women say to struggling men “it’s not that hard to find a relationship” it’s like an American saying to starving kids in Africa “it’s not that hard to find food, just go to the grocery store”. Very out of touch
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 12:49 PM
1

It’s complex. It’s something that we call a formal contradiction. You believe X and not(X) at the same time
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 02:43 AM
5

That’s not what this post is about. This post is specifically about the essentialist claim that if a man can’t find someone that likes him, it is always his fault We didn’t assign blame, they did
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 05:50 PM
2

Right. So how is it his fault?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 05:45 PM
2

Agreed, short and unattractive men get into relationships all the time. But another thing that happens all the time is when they don’t - ever. No matter how hard they work or how much they try, they never manage to find someone who finds them attractive enough to be in a relationship. This person is single due to factors outside of their control. How is he at fault? How can you blame him?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 05:41 PM
3

That’s what fault is. You’re assigning blame. You’re saying it’s a man’s fault if he has bad facial structure or is very short
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 05:33 PM
3

Then you’re holding contradictory beliefs. You are on one hand saying that it’s a man’s fault for not finding anyone who is attracted to him, and also saying that it’s not a moral failure if a man is not physically attractive. Contradiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 05:27 PM
4

Are you saying that physically unattractive people don’t exist or that being physically unattractive is a moral failure? Hard to tell which one is more absurd
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 05:23 PM
2

You can be worth a relationship but just not be attractive to others or share chemistry with someone. The most primary factors that determine whether a romantic connection blossoms are outside of anyone’s control
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 04:53 PM
2

Why does anyone have to be responsible?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 01:23 PM
0

Nobody is to blame but biology
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 01:22 PM
9

There are necessary conditions for being in a relationship that are genetically predetermined
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 01:20 PM
1

I want to get married. Always have. I would say I meet those 3 E’s as well. But those aren’t really the primary requirements, are they?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:06 PM
3

I treat everyone well regardless of whether I find them attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 01:19 PM
2

That’s not why we believe women aren’t attracted to average men. We believe it because it is a mathematical fact shown by data. 95% of likes go to the top 50% of profiles. The average woman finds 80% of men to be “below average”. These are cold hard numbers
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 12:23 PM
7

1) a lot of men don’t approach anymore because of women posting them on social media and basically ruining their life forever. Even if it’s rare, it happens 2) statistically, women are not attracted to an overwhelming majority of men who approach them, and many are just ignoring them or pretending that they don’t exist. When they say “no guys approached me”, what they really mean is “all the guys who approached me were less than 6’3” so basically no guys approached me”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 06:51 PM
1

I’m selling commitment… nobody willing to buy 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 02:50 AM
1

I don’t think generalizations are helpful. I would go on a date with anyone
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 04:58 PM
1

That’s awful. Nobody deserves to be put down for their appearance. I also wouldn’t have sex unless I was in a serious relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 04:48 PM
2

Did all of those hundreds of men reject you? Or did you reject some of them? Marriage is higher stakes than a date, too Not to discount your experience, as I’m sure that was emotionally exhausting. But I just wanted to push back on the idea that all men who aren’t dating are either not trying hard enough or aiming our standards too high Some of us genuinely could not find a date if our lives depended on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 04:36 PM
2

I have asked out lots of people - friends, friends of friends, classmates, people from clubs at my university, etc. in all I would estimate I’ve asked out dozens of women. I didn’t get a date or even a phone number
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 04:23 PM
2

That’s quite an assumption. All I can say is that I don’t think so. I have never turned anyone down - or had anyone to turn down. I paid money to see my likes on Tinder, and matched them all, but none of them responded to my message If there’s a woman out there who would date me, I’d love to know where to find her. I don’t care about “levels”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 04:15 PM
3

Hey, I’m 22M and a math student in college. I have lots of friends, I play the guitar, I work out regularly I have asked out lots of friends and classmates, and been on dating apps. I’ve never had a relationship, a date, a kiss, a hug, anything. Zero matches on my profile either When people say that it’s easy, and that if you can’t get dates you must be a terrible person or not trying hard enough, it’s confusing and invalidating
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 02:54 PM
3

No, only one said that. All of them said it was looks though I agree that it wouldn’t be much to stand on if it was just dating apps, but I’ve already done what everyone says to do and tried to ask in person, to no avail Then I have to hear all the time about how easy it is to find a relationship, as long as you do XYZ thing. And that if you can’t find someone it’s because you’re a terrible person, social inept, or ugly
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 03:13 AM
5

I am trying to… most involuntarily single guys probably haven’t asked a woman out in their life. I’ve done that x50. Plus dating apps. I haven’t seen even the faintest hint of success, no matter where I looked I started to suspect that it’s a looks issue. I asked a couple of my female friends, and they confirmed that. One of them said she couldn’t imagine dating me unless she was blind
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 02:47 AM
3

They don’t typically introduce me to their girlfriends. They do that with the attractive guys instead. I usually introduce myself
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 10:42 PM
4

I go out with them as a group sometimes. Not extremely often, but a normal amount. I receive zero attention from women at any of these events
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 10:27 PM
6

I’ve typically asked out friends, friends of friends, classmates, and acquaintances. Never strangers without at least some kind of connection
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 10:27 PM
3

I think that’s what they meant. I was saying that doesn’t apply to me because I’ve never rejected anyone since I’ve never received interest, and I also messaged everyone who liked me with no response
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 07:52 PM
5

Well, that’s what I gathered from “It’s hard for me to believe that guys here can’t figure it out unless it’s a standards issue”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 07:39 PM
6

Hi I’m an M22. I work out regularly. I’m about to graduate summa cum laude in Math. I play the guitar, do martial arts, and play board games for fun. I have a lot of friends. I have good hygiene and take care of myself. I generally think of myself as a kind person I have never had a girlfriend, been on a date, kissed someone, hugged someone, etc. as far as I know, romantic interest has never been directed toward me I have asked out a few dozen women over the years - never got a date. I asked man…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 07:30 PM
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