JayBaywatch Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
0	Advice - winning her back.		JayBaywatch	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/21 09:50 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Living arrangement question It’s called nesting and it can be done well but there need to be very clear boundaries. Allowing either partner to bring anyone into the family home or nesting pad would be a no go to me. That said, when my wife and I were planning this out, we were still having sex and I guess planned to do so for a while afterwards as well. Neither of us was really interested in Pursuing a relationship with another person in the short term so we figured that at least in our case it would work. We have since de…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/12/21 02:52 PM
2	Advice - winning her back. Hey thanks for the comments. To clarify - I’m not changing anything for her. I’m doing it for me. It just took this event to bring some clarity to myself in understanding the things I was ignoring and. Hiding behind. I don’t like those traits about myself, so I need to love myself and in order to love myself - I need to be happy with who i am and how I handle my emotional space as well as my perceptions of reality. I’m changing the things I don’t like about myself for me - not her.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/10/21 04:52 PM
1	Advice - winning her back. Because I spent more time on education and my career than I should have. That’s really the foundational aspect of it all. Neglect.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/10/21 03:59 AM
0	Advice - winning her back. How is self improvement a lack of dignity? Isn’t Working on becoming a better person dignifying? If it helps us reconnect and evolve a better relationship- that’s the a great outcome and if not I end up a better person that has self love and control over my anxiety. The whole premise of giving up a vacation that I spent A shit ton of money on and really would like to go on to make her happy and provide her some space is itself dignifying. I’m actually finding some peace in this decision not to g…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/10/21 02:31 AM
1	Advice - winning her back. Maybe it’s inconsequential, but I guess I should have noted we haven’t signed any papers yet. We had a consultation mediation session and the first real one is next week. I mean she wants no part of this marriage right now. The thing is - nobody ever wants divorce right? She believes her life will be happier divorced than married. But what if that simply isn’t true. The whole “you can’t grow” argument is nonsense. People can grow and do grow and evolve all the time. Growth potential is a mindset…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/21 11:58 PM
1	Advice - winning her back. Good advice i think. We’re gonna keep the house and share an apartment. One of us will stay at the house for 3 days while the other stays at the apartment and then rotate every 3 days so I’ll still see the kids often.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/21 11:43 PM
0	Advice - winning her back. I’m sorry about your situation. I haven’t been whining or begging or pleading at all. That doesn’t work at this point and as you noted. I’m doing the opposite of everything that the old me would have done and doing it in a way that will only make me a better person in the end. She’s noticed but conceded that my next relationship should thank her for being the catalyst to these changes.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/21 11:39 PM
2	Advice - winning her back. Hey man, thank you much for taking the time to respond. I know that my marriage is in all probability over. It’s sucks and you’re right - I need to talk to a therapist but mine is on maternity leave until November. I agree that acceptance that this is out of my control is key. And I am really trying - but it’s really, really hard. You should be proud of the things you’ve done - you’re my role model now. It’s weird because I hate this situation so much but I am finding that I like myself a whole …	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/21 11:12 PM
-1	Advice - winning her back. Yeah you are spot on - she said she has been planning it for years and there is a lot of resentment. When she told me she wanted a divorce - I spent 3 days really self reflecting and decided whatever the outcome - I was going to change. I’m not going to let my fears and anxiety control my emotions which in turn control my actions. I’ve executed on this - Reflect on how to bend with the wind now and not try to control every situation out of fear. I’ve learned to not let my anxiety control my perc…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/21 10:32 PM
-6	Advice - winning her back. But what if I’m not ready to give up fighting for my marriage - but in a way that is positive and if nothing else makes me a better man for it? We’ve spent more than half of our lives together- she kept telling me to stop letting my anxiety control me (and control her) and I couldn’t see it until that day she told me it was over - and then clarity hit me like a freight train.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/21 10:23 PM