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View 1 posts and 119 comments by Jayms on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Jayms/r/askTRP17/02/17 01:55 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

My advice would be to focus on the guests and make things relaxed and enjoyable for them vs. worrying about what they think of you and trying to make everything perfect. They will probably feel nervous meeting you and coming to a new place anyway, so put them at ease, ask them questions about themselves, don't freak out if they spill or drop something, etc. As for planning, stick with what you know for cooking so it'll turn out. Do as much in advance as you can so you aren't rushed the day of th…
/r/RedPillWives27/04/17 01:28 PM
4

There are a few RPW blogs I follow: That Stepford Gal Iris & Oleander Notes From a Red Pill Girl The Rules Revisited They are all active and Notes From a Red Pill Girl always has a pretty active comments section. Edit: formatting
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/17 05:37 PM
5

It sounds like you have suffered from some past abuse and might need some professional help to heal from this. I can somewhat relate because I also came from a dysfunctional family and had manipulative tendencies and always felt the need to be in control. Those tendencies came from a place of fear which it is possible to heal from. I'm not sure what the answer is, but I think the best advice is to start working on yourself and not get into a relationship until you have resolved some of these iss…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/17 05:34 PM
2

I think the best thing is to just talk to your husband about how you feel. It sounds like you still haven't quite made up your mind so just share your thoughts and feelings with him. I wouldn't try to convince him of anything or pressure him into it even if you decide you do want kids. Just start a conversation and go from there. I used to be a person who swore they would never have kids. I was so selfish and independent and I saw my mom raise a bunch of kids that she never wanted (my dad made h…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/17 01:25 PM
1

I don't think RPW tries to guilt or shame anyone. RPW presents facts and you can do what you want with those. If you are happy with your situation, then keep doing that. Just be aware of other truths as they relate to relationships and sex. Also, from what you've described, it doesn't sound like this is "just the way you are" and there's nothing to be done. You talk about becoming insecure and feeling miserable because a partner might compare you to other girls. This sounds like anxiety and self…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/17 01:14 PM
8

For me, RPW means knowledge of how to be a better person and a better wife to my husband. I adore my husband so much and, when I realized some of my actions were hurtful/disrespectful, I worked to change them ASAP. I love him so much and enjoy learning of ways to communicate that to him in a way that he understands, to show that I respect him, care for him, adore him, etc. RPW helps me learn more about myself and how to be a better partner. When we were dating my husband said that he wants to be…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/17 08:28 PM
1

My hubby is 5 years older than me and it works. He is mature and has been working and living on his own longer than me so he has a lot of life experience and I feel gives great advice and is a great mentor for me. I also trust him and he is very stable so it's easy to be in a relationship with him. He's also very young at heart and we have a ton of fun together, but we're also very responsible too so it's a perfect balance. I didn't date a lot before I met him so I can't compare older or younger…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/17 01:25 PM
3

Same with the hugs. My hubby gives such good hugs, holds me tight which is so protective and manly but at the same time he can be so sweet and tender, caressing me and giving me the most gentle kisses and reassuring me. Ugh, makes me melt! :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/17 11:03 PM
3

I think asking them questions and showing an interest and genuinely listening to them is what will win them over. It shows you are thoughtful and caring, not selfish or self-absorbed. Be authentic but don't take over the conversation, make it all about them and put them at ease as they are probably nervous too. Hope it goes well!
/r/RedPillWives25/03/17 12:17 AM
2

Yeah, definitely don't rush into dating if you aren't ready. As far as self-care, simple things like taking time for yourself each day can reap huge rewards. You could do some new workouts just using videos on YouTube, yoga for example. Give yourself a mani/pedi at home, do an at-home face mask, take a long bath, watch a movie, read some books from the library, journal with self-reflective prompts, draw something, sit outside and read, go for a walk, etc. It doesn't have to be a hobby with a cap…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/17 08:29 PM
1

For me, spirituality is very personal and it's not something I really share with a lot of people. My husband and I are both spiritual and meditate and do other mindfulness activities, but our practices are completely separate. Sometimes we meditate together, meaning we are in the same room and, sometimes we do the same meditation, but that's not the norm. It used to really bother me that we weren't on the "same page" and didn't speak the same language when it came to our spiritual experiences. B…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/17 08:24 PM
2

It seems like you aren't doing much self-care and don't have a lot of hobbies which is leading to feeling so down. Think about what you enjoy and then do something for yourself every day. If you are on a budget, get creative and find things to do that aren't pricey. Also, take some time to yourself to sit down without distractions and think about what you really want. Then make a plan and start moving in that direction. If you don't like living in that small town, start searching for jobs elsewh…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/17 05:08 PM
6

I don't think this is hypergamy or has anything to do with her looks, it's just ego. She write that she felt insecure when she was younger and then when she suddenly got hot, it seems like she just wanted a lot of attention. She also married a man she apparently didn't love but thought was the best she could do. That's a recipe for disaster. Of course it doesn't justify how she treated him either. It sounds like she loved the attention she was getting and would run off with anyone new. I mean, e…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/17 07:33 PM
3

I don't think it matters where you hide things as long as it's in a place that is not often used daily and he won't find it accidentally ahead of time. To make it more fun or challenging, work on your clues or make him work to solve puzzles to discover them. You could even code the clues in such a way that he has to unscramble them. I love making scavenger hunts and coming up with creative clues is part of the fun. I've turned clues into crossword puzzles, QR codes, pictionary-type clues, taken …
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/17 06:27 PM
1

Where are you meeting all these male friends who don't want more? If the current hobbies and places you frequent aren't working out, change it up and try going somewhere else. Also work on your appearance so you look more feminine but also smile and be approachable so a guy will ask you out.
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/17 06:11 PM
9

Hmm, it's hard to say what the issue is. If it's a matter of you are so good looking that they are intimidated, I'd suggest a different kind of date. Like, instead of going out to eat and just sitting across from each other looking at the other and eating, do some kind of activity. Or go out of your way to make him feel at ease, like a light touch on the arm or tell a joke, laugh at yourself, do an activity that you aren't that great at to show that you're human and not perfect. On the other han…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/17 06:09 PM
4

There are definitely some good points here, but I feel like she was kind of nagging and hating on her husband a bit. But considering they've been together 20 years she must be doing something right.
/r/RedPillWives08/03/17 02:52 PM
4

I would say channel that energy into taking care of yourself and taking steps to use your new knowledge to start crafting the life and relationship you now want. If you are dissatisfied with your career, start job-hunting and applying for other jobs. If the dress code at your job isn't super strict, start dressing in a more feminine manner. Or go shopping and get some cute clothes to wear on the weekend. Start focusing on what you enjoy and do one thing a day to make yourself happy. Begin with s…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 08:11 PM
5

Yeah, I asked my hubby to take the quiz with me so we could find out each other's love language. His number one is physical touch and mine was acts of service so I think we're well matched because he loves doing things for me and I love touching him! :)
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 01:49 PM
6

That's a great idea! I started a Love Book which was mentioned in Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood where each day I write down something nice my husband does for me. Then I can go back and re-read it at anytime. Or use it for other purposes, for example, the other day I did something for him and he said I do so many nice things for him and joked that he needs to up his game. Then I pulled out the list and started reading through it and saying how much he does for me and how much I appreciate him…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 01:48 PM
2

I think they use the same information to achieve different things. If a man wants to get married to a great woman and have kids, he can use TRP to find a quality woman to marry. If a woman wants to get married to a great man, she can use RPW to vet men and find a husband. The knowledge of the differences between the sexes helps you to attract a quality partner, keep them once you have them, and have a happy and harmonious relationship. Similarly, if your goal as a man is to have fun and get laid…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 01:46 PM
1

I don't know about now, but even when I was in college I didn't see that many of my friends being promiscuous in the way that is described. I was considered the "wild one" because I had a FWB who I met online. Another roommate Junior year was a virgin, the other had only been with like 2 guys. My other good friend had a BF from high school and they were on and off a lot but she never slept around. We did enjoy partying and drank and went to bars and stuff but hookups just weren't part of it. I t…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/17 01:37 PM
3

I was going to say something similar. You have to express your desires. Tell him what you want. Clearly he loves you and wants you to be happy. Perhaps your change in behavior has been misinterpreted as you wanting to be treated differently. There are many ways to tell what you want, the note or a text is a great one. Or tell him you've been thinking about a previous time you were intimate that you really enjoyed and that you'd love to do that again. Get creative and find ways to communicate you…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/17 03:25 PM
2

General reporting question, but is there a preferred way to report this? I see so many options and I've just been choosing "spam." Is there another heading that should be used? I've never been a mod so I don't know how this works. Just curious. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/17 02:22 PM
8

I agree with u/astrared, there are some countries where women are treated badly. However, the post given above does not illustrate that. The man wanted a pure wife and she was not it. Why is he criminalized for having a preference? Imagine if the reverse happened, and a woman didn’t want to marry a man for the same reason? She’d be praised and supported and he would be shamed. A lot of what the person who wrote that chain message wrote is taken out of context and only being seen from one point o…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/17 01:01 PM
2

Yes, exactly. If this would be an issue for him, then she has a responsibility to be honest and let him know what he's getting into. Otherwise the entire relationship is built on a lie. There is always a chance someone will find out so better to be upfront early and explain without going into gory details.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/17 05:32 PM
12

Reading the title I was expecting you to be over 6' or something. While 5' 11" is quite tall, I don't think it's the problem. It sounds like you are in your head over this quite a bit. I don't think physical size will prevent someone from feeling protective of you if you are behaving in a feminine and demure way. You can't control your height, but you can control your attitude. Also, make sure you are standing up straight. I notice a lot of tall people who are self-conscious about their height t…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/17 05:26 PM
17

I don't regularly read it, mostly just pop in when there are no fresh posts in the subs I follow and I do find it interesting to read masculine perspectives from time to time. That being said, no, it doesn't give me anxiety. I'm glad men have a place to go and discuss these things, support each other, learn and grow. If anything, it makes me sad to see the examples of how women have been so cruel to these men. I posted a comment on another thread of how it also sounds very exhausting. It feels l…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/17 04:48 PM
2

Eating chocolate is probably a poor example but I'm not sure what analogy to draw to make it clear what the equivalent would be. Just realize this is a physiological need for him and he is hiding it to spare your feelings and/or to not get yelled at or cause a meltdown.
/r/RedPillWives28/02/17 03:59 PM
8

If you are really honest with yourself and this was beyond your control due to brain chemistry, then there's nothing to feel ashamed of. You may regret it, but beating yourself up won't help. Instead, channel that energy into getting healthy and staying that way. As for bringing it up with a future partner, you don't have to worry about that until you actually meet someone, so don't waste energy on that. I don't advocate lying, but at the same time, I don't see the benefit to sharing everything …
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/17 01:52 PM
2

Hooray! Welcome! :)
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/17 01:46 PM
3

This is going to be a great challenge. I view intimacy not just as physical but also emotional. I'm trying to be more vulnerable with my husband. I've started to realize how timid I am about expressing myself and putting myself out there, especially in bed. I always want him to take the lead so I feel more comfortable. But I think he's also waiting for me to do the same. So stalemate! Now I realize I have to be brave and make the first move. I was reading The Family Alpha's post Create Your Slut…
/r/RedPillWives28/02/17 01:41 PM
4

So many great answers here already but I will chime in with my two cents. I think they key is to realize this is your issue and there is nothing wrong with him. Imagine if he told you to stop eating chocolate. Of course you'd sneak around and eat chocolate! Women have not been taught about men and their bodies and sexuality. Instead we've been told that all men are dogs who only think about sex. We don't know what it's like to have their hormones and genitals or how they relate to them. Just in …
/r/RedPillWives28/02/17 01:15 PM
3

Regarding your past, I'd say to drop that and stop bringing it up. Don't try to find out how he feels about it, don't talk to his friends about how he feels about it, etc. If he is insecure about it, he will deal with his feelings on his own. You don't have to manage him or reassure him. What you can focus on is being a wonderful, caring, loving partner. Praise him and build him up. Make a list of his masculine qualities and appreciate and admire him for them when he does things to illustrate th…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/17 01:04 PM
3

Yeah, I agree, I do pop into TRP or MarriedRP from time to time and it all seems so exhausting. I think a lot of them are in the early stages and it's understandable that they are angry. At the same time, I don't know why some of them are working so hard to make it work with women who aren't attracted to them. Contrast that to this sub where the women absolutely adore their boyfriends/husbands and can't do enough for them. Knowledge of RP is great but you've still got to find the right person wh…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/17 12:58 PM
2

Ah, I see what you mean about the "types." I guess then I'm more into the clean cut business suit-wearing kind of guys and my hubby is definitely like that. Also I guess my husband is kind of a natural alpha. He is very intelligent and learned to better himself, dress nice, taught himself how to cook, etc. He can be a bit shy and didn't have much experience with women before meeting me, but he also never was an orbiter or let women push him around despite that.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/17 12:53 PM
4

Because he's super kind, caring, attentive, loving, and isn't afraid to show emotion, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/17 01:03 AM
10

I never really dated a lot before getting married and the people I did date were really different. So I don't know that I have a "type," however there is a certain type of guy that will catch my eye and, for example, I've never been really attracted to blond or red-haired men. That being said, I don't know that my husband is a type. He is just him and he's amazing! We have insane chemistry. I was seeing someone else when I first met him and, after one kiss on our first date, I was physically rep…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/17 09:32 PM
6

I would say reserve most things RPW for your relationship. That being said, there are some ways it can help at work. For example, I have some colleagues who are males from countries which are very masculine. Almost all the women in the office complain about them, call them sexist, hate them, create problems when working with them. Well, I had to deal with one regarding a certain situation and everyone kept blaming him for not supplying some information despite numerous email reminders. Someone m…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/17 07:59 PM
3

Think about and focus on what you want. If you want to be feminine and vulnerable with your husband, then do that. Start working on yourself, perhaps seek out professional advice or help for dealing with the family drama. Also, being feminine and vulnerable does not equal being a pushover! You can be classy and still say a firm "no" to his mother if she tries to push you over. RPW are assertive and know how to set boundaries, they just aren't rude and mean about it. Leave your husband's relation…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/17 12:43 PM
5

I think the most important is to be aware of it and then take action to change the situation. If it's just a matter of losing weight, start taking steps toward that. If you need mood boosters, find things that make you happy and do them. In the meantime, if you know he's going to initiate or that you usually are intimate in the evening, you could try going to a room alone and start preparing yourself. You could watch something that turns you on, start touching yourself to get aroused, listen to …
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/17 03:49 PM
1

It seems like for you the issue is about the nickname. I don't see why you can't keep it or change it to be your middle name. I personally haven't changed my name yet because of a bunch of travel and immigration issues. I have so many documents in my maiden name that would be time-consuming and expensive to change over. Plus we are awaiting some legal decisions and I don't want to jeopardize that. But once we get the all clear, I'm going to change it. So you could also wait and change it a bit d…
/r/RedPillWives26/02/17 03:46 PM
3

Oh, I feel you on this one. I was unemployed and under-employed for a long time. You can look for odd jobs while you work on building your interview skills and resume. For example, I got a babysitting job at one point. Then I took a part-time job just to break into the company that is the big employer where I live. I had to work part-time for nearly 2 years before I was made full-time. My situation is a little different because I had my hubby who has a great job. But still, I put a lot of my sel…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/17 03:34 PM
2

I just started a re-read of the Little House on the Prairie series and it's wonderful! There are definitely some RP things in there. For boys, Farmer Boy is great. It's a part of the series but written about Laura Ingalls Wilder's husband when he was a boy. He is about 9-10 in it and works hard on the family farm. I'm reading it now and really enjoying it even as an adult.
/r/RedPillWives26/02/17 12:30 AM
1

It sounds like he has some real issues around this and your comment about enabling him is spot on. Yes, he has an issue, but what can you do about yourself and your own behavior that has been contributing to this. It's hard to know if he would have stopped had you put your foot down. But you aren't married and he has demonstrated responsibility so I feel like you have to look out for yourself here. If I were you, I'd cut the credit card he has been abusing. Ask him to take care of your pets and …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 12:24 AM
8

I think they key is to decide what your main priority is and then focus on that. If you have too many goals you can get overwhelmed and stretched thin and then you won't have much to show for any of them. The thing that came to mind is flexibility. It's great to have a plan, but you never know what opportunities will come up between now and then. I personally don't see the need to spend 2 whole years learning how to cook and clean. I think these can easily be incorporated into everyday life even…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/17 12:13 AM
5

From reading this it doesn't sound like you really want to be in a relationship with him either. You list so many problems he has so why stick with someone like that? Do you really love him and want to be with him long-term?
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/17 06:14 PM
3

That's so awesome! Thanks for sharing and keep it up! Try to be consistent so he can learn to trust you again after the way you treated him in the past. After a month or so, you might want to apologize to him for your past behavior and tell him you are trying hard to be a better girlfriend. They mention doing this in Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood. Sometimes my hubby will jokingly bring up something silly I did in the past and I'll blush and say yeah, that was the old me and I'm trying hard to…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/17 02:06 PM
3

Wow what a great post! I'm so happy for you guys! I know exactly what you mean when you say he looked at you with love before but now it's radiating. This has been my experience as well, I can just tell he's so much happier and we never had huge problems, but our relationship has definitely leveled up!
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/17 02:01 PM
12

I agree with the other comments which said the mistake was getting involved with a married man. The only thing I think you could have done differently was set a boundary and say you wouldn't see him or continue the relationship until he was free. Then he would have either left his marriage to be with you or you would have found out sooner that he wasn't really committed to you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/17 05:38 PM
2

I'd say most of my friends are kind of like that too. But I only recently started growing more conservative and only discovered RPW late last year. So I'm evolving a lot as a person and they are going through life changes as well, getting married, one getting divorced, having kids, etc. So we aren't always in the same place, but I still enjoy their company and, for most of my friends, things like this just never come up. For those who bring it up, I just don't bite on it and the conversation usu…
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/17 02:05 PM
8

Encouraging you to play the field sounds like she is promoting promiscuity which will not benefit you. Why throw away a great boyfriend just to get more experience?
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/17 09:20 PM
8

OMG, that is seriously so sad! And it's so obvious that she is the problem but she can't even see it! He should run for the hills as she will clearly never be satisfied by anything he does.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/17 06:30 PM
2

My husband and I love board games! Some of our favorites are: Carcassonne Ticket to Ride Race for the Galaxy Pandemic (great cooperative game) Dominion (card game) If you like card games, I think Dominion is great because it's just cards which makes for an easy setup, but there are so many different groups of cards to choose from which makes for lots of variety. My hubby and I also used to play a ton when we were first dating. It diminished the busier we got and I got lazy and started preferring…
/r/RedPillWives20/02/17 06:21 PM
6

I found it through the TD sub. Earlier last year I finally started getting educated about politics. Throughout most of my life I was so apathetic and felt overwhelmed by all the corruption and how things like voting didn't make a difference. So I dropped off the radar completely, stopped watching news, wasn't educating myself, etc. But something about the election last year got me interested again. During the primaries I took notice of the Democratic primary and what was going on with Bernie. I …
/r/RedPillWives20/02/17 01:40 PM
1

That's so awesome! I'd love to have an IRL friend who got this stuff. Right now I'm sharing a bit with my mom who is open so that's a start...
/r/RedPillWives20/02/17 01:24 PM
3

Yes, this is so true and I find many don't see how hypocritical they are being. I work in an office full of feminists and yet they quite frequently insult women they don't like, especially Republican women. Just the other day I overheard two co-workers (one man, one woman) calling another woman a cunt. Then they said they shouldn't call her that because it's an insult to cunts. Prior to that, the one woman was getting offended when another male co-worker referred to his wife as "my [wife's name]…
/r/RedPillWives20/02/17 01:17 PM
3

My hubby and I play board games pretty frequently and it's a great opportunity for flirting and fun. Usually I wear something flirty, we'll grab a snack or drink, and then start playing. I'll flirt with him, pretend to distract him by flashing skin if he's winning, joke with him if he dealt me a good hand, and compliment his skills if he's winning. If I'm winning or getting ahead, I'll playfully tease him and he'll usually come over and grab or tickle me playfully back. I always try my best and …
/r/RedPillWives20/02/17 01:13 PM
2

I don't really think you have to bring it up with him or have a big discussion about it. If there's something you want to do, come up with an idea, and just tell him, I want to do X. Or I want to plan X, which night works best for you? Then just make it happen. No need to turn it into a big ordeal or argue about not having enough time together. Keep it simple!
/r/RedPillWives20/02/17 01:06 PM
1

Thanks for the reply. I'm going to tell him to just ignore and not play into their hand. He just got moved to a new facility that has men and women (the old one was just men and no drama) and these women are probably trying to game him. It's not worth it to engage.
/r/askTRP20/02/17 12:26 PM
4

I understand what you're saying, and I agree, he did not handle the situation well that got him into jail. That being said, he has learned the hard way the truth about women and hypergamy. He is in jail because the mother of his son has done nothing but lie about him and try to get money from him and withhold his child. He refused to take a plea for false charges and ended up in jail.
/r/askTRP17/02/17 04:12 PM
2

I tend to agree that when you're married, you shouldn't have opposite sex friendships. Even if you yourself aren't attracted to that person, you can't control how the other person might feel toward you and that can cause a lot of unnecessary drama and hurt. I personally don't have any male friends. I also really watch myself with male co-workers because I want to be friendly but not give them the wrong idea and, in the past, I've had a lot of problems with guys falling for me or developing feeli…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/17 02:14 PM
2

That's so great to hear! I'm glad you found us and can start implementing some things to improve your life. I can definitely relate to what you wrote about not wanting to go sightseeing and just read RPW! That's how I felt when I first discovered it, just couldn't get enough! It's also cool that you and your brother are also on this journey. I'm sure you can help each other, give advice, maybe even be each other's wingman/woman. I have a brother who is very RP without knowing much about it, and …
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/17 02:03 PM
1

Yeah, it's a really cool book, starts off kind of cheesy telling different women's stories and follows one woman in particular who is separated from her husband and starts taking classes on being more feminine. The teacher gives homework and she does the assignments and her relationship begins to change. It's a little old-fashioned and is also a bit religious so might put some people off, but there is some great advice in there and it makes for a good read. I'm not really sure who it's written b…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/17 09:29 PM
1

Sure, it's one of the assignments from the book Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood. She instructs wives to take certain steps to repair their relationship and allow their husband to be the leader in the marriage. One of them is to "Draw up a 'Certificate of Leadership' made from cardboard, or make some other symbol of leadership that will last a lifetime, and present it (as an entire family if possible) to your husband. Tell him (and really mean it) that from now on, you will all follow his leader…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/17 04:36 PM
1

I posted in that thread that I made him a hand-drawn Certificate of Leadership as mentioned in the Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood which he absolutely loved. I also brought him a bunch of sweets from the baking contest we had at work and wore some new lingerie to bed. We also were intimate in both the morning before work and in the evening so he got a double dose of love!
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/17 03:35 PM
9

I haven't read 50 Shades of Grey but I'm familiar with the plot. I did start reading it but just couldn't get into it and I don't like books about women constantly putting themselves down and having low self-esteem or saying how plain they are yet tons of men fall for them. That being said, I think the RPW principles run deep no matter what people say in public, they privately want these things and might feel ashamed of it but I really don't know for sure. I can't say that I've really read any A…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/17 06:39 PM
9

My hubby and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day so we didn't do anything special. But, I recently broke my FitBit so he had ordered me a new one. I also recently ordered another ring since I only got the wedding band when we got married and have had people ask me if I'm engaged vs. married. So I wanted to get an engagement-type ring so everyone knows I'm married. I ordered one and it came around the same day. So my hubby actually wrapped them and gave them to me on Valentine's Day but they…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/17 04:22 PM
2

If I were to make a profile on a matrimonial site, I'd basically list all the things which are true in my relationship now. I offer loyalty, honesty, and commitment. I have traditional values about marriage and family. I'm also a good homemaker and know how to cook. I put a lot of effort into my appearance and am healthy and fit and always dress in a pleasing and feminine way. I make every effort to support my husband and make him proud to be married to me. What would you put in yours OP? :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/17 12:53 PM
6

I'm curious to know more about your reply. Are there specific books/resources you had in mind? I'd love to some recommendations since this stuff is utterly fascinating to me. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/17 01:28 PM
2

Wow, thanks for sharing! What a way to grow up! Just imagine how different the world would be if all the kids were growing up in stable families where their parents had loving relationships and taught them how to be happy adults.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/17 12:49 PM
4

I think all this attention on issues like abortion is distracting from some deeper issues. Why aren't we giving as much attention to the reasons causing women to engage in unhealthy sexual behavior? It's really not that hard to avoid getting pregnant. What's going on with children being raised in a way that leads to them going out and making poor decisions with their bodies and health? Why aren't women being taught about their bodies and how to not get pregnant? Why are so many people demanding …
/r/RedPillWives12/02/17 09:00 PM
5

I would add giving unwanted advice or information while trying to be helpful. I find I do this so much, trying to go above and beyond to help my husband, make sure he has what he needs, take care of him, etc. I soon realized it can come across as being overbearing or treating him like a child. He is an adult and knows what he wants and will say something if he needs/wants something.
/r/RedPillWives12/02/17 08:48 PM
2

It sounds like you're way overthinking this! You're worried and in your head. Do you love him? How would your life be if you split up with him? Is this someone you want to be with and build a life together? Also, try to put yourself in his situation and how he's feeling after losing his job, not being able to get back in the country to visit the woman he loves, having financial difficulties, etc. Can you imagine the pressure he must be under? It's not out of place to have a conversation about yo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/17 03:00 PM
3

Yes, The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle is great. Also, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura. As far as meditation, you can search on YouTube for some short, guided meditations. Or just sit and try to watch your breath, doing deep breathing, for a few minutes.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/17 02:38 PM
2

Do you do any kind of meditation? I find it helps immensely with self-awareness and kind of conditions you to take a breath before speaking or reacting. This might help you to pause before reacting or saying something you'll regret. Also, having awareness about how you can hurt your husband and damage your relationship might provide some motivation to keep it in check. Have you read any of the RPW recommended books? I'm reading my way through most of the recommended books and I feel I know RPW i…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/17 08:10 PM
7

Hmm, that's an interesting questions, kind of like a My Fair Lady where he turned her into an elegant, feminine woman. I definitely think it's possible for women to encourage men to be themselves. One reason there are so many weak men is because they have been crushed by women and taught by women (their mothers) to be that way. If women allowed men to be men, thanked them for opening doors vs. yelling at them, then I'm sure they'd start to feel safer around women and open up and behave in a diff…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/17 01:22 PM
5

I work for a university in an accounting-type position. I work FT and my hubby works too and also does some work on the side since he's starting his own business. It's funny because he makes like triple my salary but works from home a lot. So while I'm earning a lower salary, I'm the one going off to work during the day and kissing him goodbye in the morning. He's worked hard to get where he is now able to do this and now he gets to relax and work smarter, not harder. Also, I work because I enjo…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/17 09:58 PM
5

I can't think of a time when my husband has done this. He expresses preferences by complimenting me usually but overall he says he just wants me to be happy. I know he doesn't always agree with things I do and sometimes jokes with me about it, but he has always been supportive and accepting even if he didn't get why I liked or did something. That's one of the reasons I'm with him and adore him so much!
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/17 09:55 PM
2

This challenge has been great because it keeps things like this in the back of my mind. I'm not following the days perfectly because sometimes an opportunity arises on a day that you just gotta seize! Earlier in the week after work I stopped and picked up one of my hubby's favorite snacks because we'd forgot to buy it while grocery shopping over the weekend. He was so happy when I brought it home and I was so happy to see him happy. Also, the other day he was heading home from a walk and it's be…
/r/RedPillWives09/02/17 02:10 PM
1

Yay, great idea! Very timely for week 1 as yesterday my hubby and I got tickets to a sporting event that we'd never been to and really broke out of our comfort zone and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Can't wait for all the fun ahead! :)
/r/RedPillWives02/02/17 06:32 PM
3

This is so amazing! What a great idea! Makes me wish my hubby had paper pay stubs instead of direct deposit. Isn't it amazing how these small acts of appreciation and gratitude can make our man's day! I am so thankful for my husband and all he does for me. Just today he had found a great deal on something he wanted to buy me. He went to purchase it and they were all sold out. I told him it was no problem because I knew he had it and would take care of things. I thanked him and he replied saying …
/r/RedPillWives02/02/17 04:29 PM
4

Is a hip thrust different from weighted bridges? I do 5x5 weight lifting and recently added in weighted bridges to target my booty. I tried Googling it and saw one-legged hip thrusts, elevated ones, etc. Could you do a post on how to do that and get results for those who already lift? :)
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/17 04:15 PM
3

Thanks for the recommendation for FeminineNotFeminist, that's a new one and looks interesting. I don't really subscribe to or read many other subs. I peruse Female Fashion Advice but very selectively for the reasons you mentioned above. Sometimes I do worry about posting in other subs because I've heard people talk about being banned, not for what they post, but simply because someone can see they posted in another sub they disagree with. I really like the Bullet Journal sub but sometimes worry …
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/17 09:25 PM
1

The other day I made oatmeal cranberry cookies for my hubby. We had some bananas that were turning brown so I said I'd make him banana bread. Then, we used one to make pancakes so there weren't enough left for the bread recipe. I felt like he was kind of bummed out so I decided to bake him cookies instead. We tasted them today and they are really good and he liked them, so we're both happy! :)
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/17 08:38 PM
2

It's not exactly a date night but my hubby loves board games and we used to play them a lot when we were first dating but hadn't played them much lately. He would comment how I never wanted to play anymore and I had got lazy about setting them up (lots of pieces vs. playing the iOS version or on the Wii). So after reading The Surrendered Wife, I decided to make an effort to play them more often and have a board game night once a week. So now I suggest playing a game and we've been playing a lot …
/r/RedPillWives30/01/17 02:17 PM
3

Wow, that's so cool! Now I'm going to try to think of something last minute I can do to celebrate and surprise my hubby! Thanks for sharing! :)
/r/RedPillWives26/01/17 07:17 PM
4

Great post! I resonate with your #2 point a lot as I try to be flexible and realize that it can come across as rejecting the help he is offering. I'm learning to receive more and it's great for us both!
/r/RedPillWives26/01/17 02:07 PM
3

Yeah, try it and see! I'm sure he'll appreciate the extra effort. I like the idea of dating your husband and so I often think to myself, if we were dating and I was at his place for the weekend, how would I behave? So when we go to the grocery store, I'll even dress nicely. He definitely notices and when I say the reason I'm dressed nicely is because I want to impress him or want him to like me (being vulnerable & flirting), he grabs me, hugs me tightly, and kisses me.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/17 01:55 PM
2

I was long-distance for some time early in my relationship and here's some of the stuff I did: While I was at his place, I'd hide stuff and create a treasure hunt, then send him the letters with the clues via email or text or even leave them around the house. You could hide little things around his place in advance for when you're gone, then send him the first clue on Valentine's Day to start the treasure hunt. Send a telegram: there is a website called Telegram Stop where you can send a letter …
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/17 07:18 PM
3

I read somewhere that you should never compare him against another guy, even if it's to show him in a positive light. This is something I try to work on, as sometimes I see or hear things during the day and then tell him when I come home how I'm glad he's so amazing and does X instead of Y. But I realize now that's not the best approach. I think it's even better to give a compliment without even mentioning the other person. Just compliment his behavior or whatever you like about him. In First, K…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/17 01:25 PM
3

One thing I say is, "I want to know what you _____." If he asks me something, then I know he doesn't care and is deferring to me. This happens a lot when it comes to what to eat or which restaurant to go to. So when he asks, I say what I want so he doesn't have to read my mind or try to guess. If he counters it or doesn't like my choice (this rarely happens), then I go along with whatever he wants.
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/17 01:21 PM
4

Yes, this! And also I found that making an effort to improve your appearance and be more feminine and put together when you spend time together also inspires him to want to up his game. Now, when my hubby and I are just running errands together, I get semi-dressed up, the way I would if we were dating and I wanted to impress him. I'll come out of the bedroom all put together and he'll be in jeans and a t-shirt (looking damn fine in my opinion) and look me up and down and then say he needs to cha…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/17 01:16 PM
3

There are so many opportunities to meet people at university. For example, in classes, at the gym, in the dormitory, and in student organizations. You can also join co-ed sports, go to sporting events, and get involved in student government as a way to meet people. In class you can mix up where you sit and be friendly with people. Also, if you have a part-time job, that's a great way to meet fellow student workers.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/17 05:57 PM
2

This is how my husband and I are too. We don't celebrate Valentine's Day and do nice things for each other throughout the year. Our anniversary is, of course, a special day for us. I already asked my hubby if he wants to do anything or exchange gifts and he said no, which is just as I expected. I'm fine with it too, I've never been one of those women that felt alone or sad on Valentine's Day when single or expected a boyfriend to get me stuff.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/17 04:24 PM
1

I was out to lunch with a friend who knits and sews so I asked her if she could teach me a bit. Last weekend I went to her house and got re-acquainted with sewing (I knew how to sew a bit when I was younger) and she helped me make a tote bag! I really enjoyed it and am looking forward to learning more, especially how to tailor my own clothes.
/r/RedPillWives24/01/17 01:47 PM
1

I recently got into this too! I've been loving being more creative lately. I loved the thread started by u/dalls18 and have been devouring content and figuring out my own style. I used to do a lot of drawing but have let it fall by the way. Now I'm starting again and am doing a 30 day drawing challenge in my bullet journal.
/r/RedPillWives24/01/17 01:47 PM
2

This is a really interesting and well-written post. I agree, it's all about balance and timing, knowing when to step into each role.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/17 01:43 PM
3

I have to agree that what women and men think is beautiful, cute, and charming is completely different. Sometimes I make the goofiest faces and my hubby just melts and grabs his phone and takes a picture. I think I look hideous but he says I'm so cute and loves these pics and is hugging me, squeezing me, caressing me, saying how cute and adorable I am. I don't get it but I'm learning not to resist it or disagree with him and say how unattractive I look because why try to convince him if he clear…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/17 01:42 PM
2

Regarding lunches, I've been loving salads lately. I'll chop up a bunch of lettuce the night before and put it in a container. Then I get all my toppings in another container. I've been having beets, chickpeas, water chestnuts, artichokes, hummus, avocado, sweet pickles, etc. I keep a small bottle of salad dressing in the fridge at work. Come lunchtime, I pour the toppings on top of the lettuce, drizzle dressing, mix it all up. So delicious! I also got a juicer from my hubby last year and I'm ju…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/17 01:40 PM
3

That is definitely a concern and I'm not sure why more people aren't talking about it. I get the feeling something more sinister is afoot and people are being distracted by fighting over "women's issues."
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/17 01:26 PM
14

I'm not really sure what they were marching for either. I don't think Trump hates women or is going to take away any rights. As far as funding for abortions and contraception, I don't think taxpayers should be forced to pay for these things. If you choose to have one, that is your decision and you should pay for it, same with plastic surgery, for example. I heard about several women attacking other women too, one lit a Trump-supporting woman's hair on fire. That is so hypocritical to say women s…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/17 01:25 PM
1

I'd say just don't engage them when they start this kind of talk. You can listen, ask questions, be understanding, etc. without offering any kind of badmouthing of your own. Or you can try to change the subject when they bring it up. I do this when I speak with other people about things like politics and when I just don't engage or feed the fire, the conversation quickly dies out.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/17 03:54 PM
3

Hello everyone, I found this sub in November and it really resonated with me. I immediately started devouring all the information I could, reading books, etc. I comment a bit but not too much because I'm still a newbie. However, I have to say my eyes have been opened to so many things beyond relationships but also about society in general and I'm so grateful! So many things are destroying relationships, hurting men, women, children, families, and causing so much pain. So I'm happy to see this su…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/17 03:12 PM
3

This is something I also find fascinating. It's like the difference between Arianna Grande who is cute, petite, doe-eyed, and very girly and feminine. Then there's Monica Bellucci, who I always think of as very sexy and feminine, a real woman vs. a girl, she is smoldering, curvy, very womanly. They are both beautiful and feminine, but there's a definite difference. I guess the question is then is to know when to bring out each side of your femininity at the right time to use it for good. Thought…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/17 01:01 PM
2

This is what I was going to comment as well. Be there for him, and you can let his family know that you are there to help in any way needed. Then, if they ask for something, you can graciously help them. But don't make it about you or try to insert yourself into their family as a way of "helping."
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/17 04:54 PM
3

That's so wonderful! So nice to hear what a great relationship you have! I'm curious how you learned how to be so feminine? Were you taught these things growing up? Did you have female role models who encouraged this kind of behavior? How did you avoid getting pulled into feminism and all the societal conditioning women experience that ends up hurting them?
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/17 04:52 PM
7

Sure, I'd say Surrendered Wife is like RPW 101. It starts with a quiz to find out how intimate your marriage is. Then it talks about respecting your husband and giving up control. It also advises to "keep surrendering a secret" since a lot of women want to share that they discovered this amazing new thing with their husband, but that doesn't help. I found this to be great advice because I was so excited to discover RPW and blab about it to everyone, including my husband. Then it goes into the di…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/17 04:49 PM
6

The Surrendered Wife was the first book I read. Then I got the PDF of Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood. I really liked that because it gives actual tasks to do to improve the relationship, gave lots of examples, and played out a woman's story and showed how what she did worked and improved her relationship. I'm currently reading First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors and it is really good as well. So I can recommend all three of those.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/17 03:18 PM
3

It sounds like you need to set some healthy boundaries. If you don't want to hear about it, then tell her and ask her to stop sharing this. If she asks about your sex life, you are allowed to say "that's private" or "I'd rather not discuss that." If she is a good friend, she will understand. If not, then it's not a big loss.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/17 12:06 AM
1

I agree, this could be the issue. You stated that the people you were interested in "made it clearly platonic" but maybe you both just weren't reading the right signals. Learning to flirt and show interest in a feminine way is a necessary skill to attract a mate. I'm sure there are some here who can give better advice than me and there have probably been books written on it. That's where I'd start looking and learning about flirting.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/17 12:03 AM
6

Have you read the sidebar under "Red Pill Women Success Stories?" There's one there called "Sad, sexless mom follows RPW advice and then!" It sounds similar to your situation where the woman was more in mommy mode than girlfriend/wife mode and it changed their relationship. Anyway, your story reminded me of that so I thought I'd mention it since you are new. I'm happy you found this place! It's just going to get better from here! :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/17 11:54 PM
5

Have you checked your local library? You could buy one and then check out the other to see if you liked it. I'm currently reading First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors which I checked out from my local library.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/17 01:38 PM
2

Reading your comments is so fascinating! I've started reading some books about feminism and haven't heard any of this before. You mentioned neo-Marxism and the Frankfurt School. Can you recommend some specific titles that would be good for a newbie to read?
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/17 03:49 PM
2

I'm new to RPW but I started reading books a few months ago and so far have read: The Surrendered Wife, Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood (the PDF I found on here), The Flipside of Feminism (not really marriage related but makes you realize how both men and women suffer and inspired me to be a better wife) I'm currently reading First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors and also The Myth of Male Power by Warren Farrell which isn't really a marriage book but, every time I read a chapter, I just want …
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/17 07:38 PM
2

For carefree feminine, I think dresses are key. You can easily throw on a fitted sweater dress, some tights, and boots. Summer is even easier with a sundress and sandals along with a few accessories.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 07:29 PM
5

This is really interesting. After reading this I saw a photo of a celebrity man online and asked myself if I'd respond to him (theoretically) online if I didn't know who he was. Sometimes even attractive men don't photograph well and seeing them in person or in a movie is what makes us see how attractive they are through their voice, gestures, etc. Also, back when I was single I went out with a few guys who looked attractive from their photos. One was very handsome but, when he spoke, he had a b…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 07:25 PM
4

Has anyone used RPW techniques on their non-romantic relationships, for example brothers or fathers? I'm pretty new to this but as I've been reading, I realize the potential to be loving to these men in my life. Books like The Surrendered Wife and Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood speak about how women can build men up by appreciating them and using kind words.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 07:13 PM
2

This is great advice. I started by reading The Surrendered Wife last month and was just blown away by the mistakes I didn't even know I was making. When you realize how you are hurting the person you love most in the world, it's a rude awakening, but provides the motivation and desire to instantly change your behavior and start doing actions that are loving. Whereas I used to not like certain domestic activities like cleaning or doing laundry, now I'm actively looking for opportunities to engage…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/17 07:07 PM
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