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Jenova66 Archive

View 0 posts and 25 comments by Jenova66 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I got the dog but then she got hit by a cement truck.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 08:54 PM
1

I was very sad thinking I would lose the dog and then she decided it was actual work. Pretty soon I got the ultimatum to take my kid’s dog full time or that she would rehome her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 06:28 PM
9

Only if you both want to put in the work. My experience was that it became all about talking about my issues and nothing on her side could be raised for discussion.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 11:36 PM
12

I spent about a year trying to repair things once it got to this point and the end result was me developing into a full blown alcoholic as every attempt was met with coldness and every mistake with ultimatums. Save yourself a lot of mental anguish and make the break before your health is further impacted.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 04:06 PM
2

PG. 77-84 of Alcoholics Anonymous discusses how to conduct oneself while making amends. The language is a bit dated but generally serves as the basis for most twelve step approaches to this process. The intent is that you humble yourself and admit fault without casting any blame on the other. It advises most people will probably meet you half way, which some find true, but if she’s serious she should not engage in fishing for an apology or vindication.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 08:20 PM
2

Step 9 is the amends but you’re usually advised to do it in person. This is so you have the experience of making yourself humble and accepting the potentially negative reaction without the option to be defensive or point blame on others. Sending a written message is a half measure in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/24 08:08 PM
9

I would contact your school board representative and see if they or their staff will discuss the issue. It could be the school staff being more diligent than policy requires.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 05:30 AM
2

We also discussed separation vs divorce. I was committed to work on myself and she committed to nothing. Without her being engaged to fix underlying issues as part of the separation it felt like a waste and I suggested we just get divorced. A separation with no commitment from both sides to work toward a better end felt like a waste of all our time.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 07:19 PM
2

We had to negotiate splitting the house and child time but agreed to that fairly quickly. We also always had separate accounts and agreed to leave each other’s retirement and investments alone. It could have been much worse and I walked away from some money to not complicate things. I wanted to just have a clean break and let our kid stay in the house.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 03:58 AM
9

Yes. She wants attention and for anyone who listen to tell her she’s not wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 03:20 AM
3

We’re probably at about 3k all in with attorney fees and court fees. We hired a mediator to assist with paperwork at a similar retainer and rate. Most of the negotiation we did with each other and only used the lawyer to affirm it was in keeping with standard practices. Waiting on the judge’s order but unless they have additional stipulations it’s done.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 10:14 PM
3

I walked away from a good deal of money for the house so she could keep it and also augmented child support. I wanted out daughter to live there and not be disrupted for a few years. In exchange, we signed an agreement that if she sells at any point in the next several years I get a share of the profit based on how long it has been. Maybe ask for something similar to protect your investment if she sells down the line?
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 01:15 AM
2

The pandemic blew up a lot of our routines- we stopped doing martial arts together, stopped hanging out with mutual friends, and it was really hard on the kid. We also lost quite a few people in that time frame but not from COVID. At the end of it things were just very different and I think we both started to want different things.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 01:11 AM
3

My wife and I were in this place for a few years before I gave up. The combined stress of having a kid, careers, the pandemic, and taking care of a house- it just kind of left us drained and we stopped taking time for each other. Both of you have to be willing to work on yourselves and work to prioritize your relationship. If one of you isn’t then you might as well move along.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 10:49 PM
4

Once I actually moved out, I started telling people as I happened to see them. Turns out I’d basically isolated myself in the last year so it took some proactive reaching out.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 02:52 AM
2

I’ve met some guys with similar experiences. Resentment towards abusive family doesn’t always fit the mold of the program. I’m struggling with nine. I did the big one but a lot these are things I did fifteen years ago. Or just people I distanced from in depression. Reaching out feels less an exercise in humility and more inconveniencing them for my benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 06:39 PM
2

I find AA is helpful for a bit but not finding lasting connection there. I’ve got a sponsor and working Step Nine which is helping me reconnect with some people but they’ve got their own lives too.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 11:17 PM
3

I’m going through this now. The last few years I’ve gotten ultimatums over little fights. Then we tried counseling- she decided the problem was I needed to work on myself which led to individual therapy. In February she told me she didn’t want to be together anymore and I convinced her let me work on things. My drinking spiraled as she had checked out at that point. Every interaction was abusive. I went to detox in June and moved out last month. The hardest part is the prospect of starting over …
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 03:53 PM
2

Yes, I’m somewhere in the middle of your two examples but my wife was clinging to approaches that weren’t working and we fought about it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 01:02 AM
1

That’s a good perspective. My day to day is definitely slowly getting better.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 11:20 PM
5

She actually compared our first time to a book and that’s when I knew it was over.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 04:26 PM
2

Same she started to telling me she pretended to like all these things for me and that I don’t care about her interests. The only thing that changed is having kids and my health problems meaning I give most of my energy to maintaining the house and taking care of the kids. She still watches the same shows, does the same things etc. The only new habit is the cheesy romance novels which I think are putting ideas in her head.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 03:09 PM
1

In our case having kids shifted the dynamic in a way that emphasized our differences. We had less time/energy for each other and as such less time to shore up the weak parts. We also started having some key differences around parenting philosophy that emphasized larger differences in personality we used to be able to tolerate. I love my daughter but having her made clearer that my wife and I wanted very different things out of life. We could make that work when it was two people but adding the a…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 04:47 PM
2

Having a kid
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 02:32 PM
1

We emotionally separated maybe two years ago. It got nasty in waves and I nearly drank myself to death. When I got out of rehab we agreed to wait ninety days and talk then she decided three weeks in she wanted to live separately and divorce. About a month later I’m moving out. I wanted to stay longer to have more time with our daughter but staying there was going to put me back in the hospital.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 02:50 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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