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Jephta Archive

View 11 posts and 734 comments by Jephta on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Yeah, but what happens when you're 50? Are you going to find 50yo geezers the most attractive? That's what's weird to me. I'm 40 now and the age range I find most attractive hasn't budged since I hit puberty. I don't understand why me aging should affect how someone else looks to me. It doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:51 AM
2

Best way I can explain it is youth works like a multiplier. Early 20s=10x. 30yo=1x. 40=0.1x. So a 37yo with a lot going for her is having her attractiveness reduced but a chubby or frumpy 20yo is having whatever is good about her amplified. Of course, I can still tell if a 45+yo looks good or not. But it's like appreciating the aesthetics of a nice landscape painting. I can understand it's pretty without feeling any attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:58 AM
11

Those women are delusional. I only set my age filter to 30s when I want a quick and easy fuck to recover from being serially rejected by the serious contenders in their 20s. Women around my age are 100x easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:54 AM
3

It makes sense. At one point in time I was seeing a 37 year old who looked very good for her age, good style, did makeup well, etc and a 23 year old who had a pug-looking smooshed face and was very chubby. It was a tough call because they were about equally attractive to me. (Ended up choosing neither tho lol) Youth counts for a lot so she can definitely use it to shore up other weaknesses.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:45 AM
1

My dick, mostly. Men spend our whole lives being glazed by women who've friend zoned us but like having us around due to our personalities. Finding a woman who likes you for your body and who wants your dick is rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 08:33 AM
–

Meeting basic life needs is not meaningful. I wouldn't want to live a life where I work all day just for food. That's the reality of many people in less developed countries and it's not a fun life It's all the stuff that happens outside of meeting basic life needs that give life meaning. Working just to keep food on the table or a roof over your head is not worthwhile.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 08:23 AM
–

If they actually liked their jobs, they wouldn't need money as an incentive to do it. Work is necessarily the things no one would do for free but still need to be done.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 08:16 AM
–

Yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 08:14 AM
–

Thoughts and aspirations of what? Sitting under fluorescent lights for 8 hours a day and editing spreadsheets for an insurance company? Wow, what a life to aspire to. Surely you won't regret all that time lost on your deathbed. Work sucks and is meaningless. Women should feel grateful if a guy wants to step up and take the hit for her to be free. But y'all aren't even grateful and you want to suffer. I don't understand it. Anyway, a woman who works is useless to me and I don't know why you'd exp…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 02:28 AM
0

If you both work and her income goes to childcare anyway, what use is she? Should've married the childcare lady. That's who's actually raising your kid. If I want money, I can get it myself. Anyone can. It's not difficult or impressive. But raising a human being to be well equipped to do that? I could never do that. It's something only women are capable of, and it's really impressive to men. Money? Who cares.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:27 PM
1

It's not about having kids vs not having kids. That's missing the point. It's about making sure that if you DO have kids, that they're YOUR kids. I can imagine a happy childfree life with someone. I can imagine a happy life with someone raising our kids together. I cannot imagine any reality where I'm raising another man's kids and I'm happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 10:39 AM
–

Am I the only one who specifically *wouldn't* want my partner to stick around for me in that situation? Okay, so now I'm maimed and disfigured. That really sucks. I'm going to be living in a very unfortunate situation for the rest of my life. But why would I want to dole out part of that misery onto someone else, especially someone I care about? Why sentence her to a life of either celibacy or forcing herself despite being disgusted? I think the much kinder thing to do if you actually care about…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 01:21 PM
4

So option A isn't even a relationship but I get sex AND she's unbelievably attractive? The only downside is no one believes me? Option B is the cost of being stuck in a relationship and no sex. It's all cost and no benefit. How is this even a choice?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 07:01 AM
1

OP said you have to be in a relationship with her in option B. Presumably you're not allowed to fuck other women. Oddly enough, option A doesn't require a relationship. Which means you can fuck her AND other woman. I guess just no one would believe you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 06:59 AM
16

I spent 6 months doing photo testing on Photofeeler, having women rate my best pictures out of 80+ I'd take. Took the highest rated from 6 months of testing and put them up. Still the tiniest trickle of likes, usually from women who "just left town for work" so they can't meet (aka in China) or women named Bruce.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 09:32 AM
–

Thats a very blackpilled take. You made a thread about dating in a man's 20s. I would've been blackpill in my 20s because there just were hardly any opportunities. And despite all their posing, most of my friends who married in their 20s also married either the first or second girl that showed them any interest. Then basically all of them went on to get divorced. That's just what 20s are like for men. Rather than moving, just age to 30 and the problem resolves itself. Suddenly there opportunitie…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:53 AM
–

He's not going to completely lose attraction to you until you're around 40. If you marry older, that means he should be at least 45 at that point. He's going to have a very difficult time attracting 18-20yos as a 45 year old man. So he'll almost certainly stay with you because it's not like he's got preferable options busting down his door.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:41 PM
1

Men in their 20s are not increasingly not dating because they think that they shouldn't. They already know that they should. That's why you see all these "I'm 23 and still a virgin. Is it over for me?" type posts everywhere. The issue is that despite their best efforts, most men in their 20s aren't finding much success in dating. It leads to a lived experience of scarcity. That scarcity makes them watch to latch onto whoever eventually comes their way because their life up until that point indic…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:22 PM
–

Weird question. Any girl that clubs at all is automatically not relationship material to me. I wouldn't try to stop her from clubbing because I'm not her boyfriend and can't tell her what to do. I would work very hard to keep my not-boyfriend status with her while still being on good terms with her so I can keep sleeping with her. That probably means I'd encourage her to go clubbing, staying out til 4am at bars, etc. Whatever she wants to do. YOLO If my girlfriend who'd never been clubbing befor…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:04 PM
4

Due to differences in biology, men have no certainty we'll even be able to reproduce. Even if we are able to pair up with a woman, being her long-term life partner, the person she wants to spend every day with, etc is actually a bad thing if she's not sexually attracted because it means the guy will likely end up raising the kid of the man she is sexually attracted to. That means selective sexual attraction for him specifically is the most important quality men look for in women. Women have cert…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 01:51 PM
1

That doesn't make sense tho lol If she's pursuing good sex, then as long as it results in good sex then it should never feel like a waste of time. I've never been disappointed in any encounter that ended in sex because...there was sex! lol The only time I feel like my time was wasted is if there's no sex. Which is often what happens with women that have relationship as a goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:05 AM
1

The more you let her build up, the more intense the eventual orgasm is. Same way for men. I get it if you have to be somewhere in 30 minutes or something but that shouldn't be the default. It's like eating a ready-made sandwich wrapped in plastic for every meal just because it's the quickest thing. It'll get the job done, but won't be very satisfying
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:01 AM
1

Oh my god... This happens? Aren't you worried about dying without experiencing the most intense feeling of bliss life has to offer?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:56 AM
1

To me, dating is about pursuing good sex and then maybe a life partner, marriage, kids, etc might happen as a kind of side benefit. It's wild to me that so many women treat that as the main goal. If that were the only benefit I could hope for from dating, I'd just never leave the house lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 05:36 AM
–

It depends on from whose perspective you're talking about. From mens' perspective, what you're saying is true. From womens' perspective, blue pill advice is far better than red pill advice. Blue pill advice encourages the men they already find attractive to act in ways that women would prefer them to act while simultaneously keeping men they don't find attractive unsuccessful and easy to identify so they can be ruled out as duds easily. Red pill advice is bad for women because it allows men who …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 04:27 AM
1

I think I was probably about 25 before I actually had a real orgasm, and it was entirely through solo play. I was shocked. Did not realize my body could even do that. Wait, what?? Does this mean that you made it all the way to age 25 having never masturbated? Or you tried but just couldn't make it to orgasm? I figured out how to get myself to orgasm at age 8.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:27 AM
1

So the sex is best the first few times and then settles into boring and unsatisfying? If so, shouldn't that make you want to seek out casual instead of relationship sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:16 AM
1

I have a lot of anecdotal evidence from my own sex life that O causes bonding rather than the other way around though. Women teetering on undecided the night before are suddenly stuck to me like velcro the next morning.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 06:03 PM
5

No relationship easily. My peace is being left alone. And I love the freedom and autonomy of not having another person that I have to consider for every decision. Without sex, relationships feel more costly than beneficial by far.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 05:37 PM
–

Feminists have spent the last 40 years convincing mothers that raising the next generation of human beings actually is not noble or difficult work and that they should be ashamed because all of a person's value comes from their economic productivity under capitalism. It's very non-compatible with values that place family and community above shareholders.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:36 PM
1

For some women, with a ton of foreplay and a great eater? 2-3 minutes is enough to get there. Are you trying to set the speedrun world record or something? It's not about the woman, it's about the eater's pacing. Outside of trying to get your name in Guinness, you shouldn't be giving her enough stimulation to even be able to get off in 2-3 minutes regardless of how easily she comes. The first several minutes should be spent with very light teasing and making her want it more and more. When she p…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 02:41 PM
3

Because all the "actually not ONs guy just a lazy guy that wants to feel special without putting in effort" guys figure out they do want to feel special after all and can't comprehend how she could sleep with them and feel nothing. Don't they realize the tremendous downsides that come with her feeling something?? Maybe it's just because I've only ever gotten relationship women and I've tried my best to remold them into casual women, but the bad thing about a woman that treats you special whether…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 02:29 PM
7

Call me Captain Redbeard because I've sailed the red seas more times than I can count. Plenty of sluts and fatties. Like, there needs to be something medically wrong to dissuade me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 01:38 PM
2

I've literally never experienced this kind of woman. And I would love to experience this kind of woman. I'm very sick of the relationship type, but that's all I can seem to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 01:35 PM
5

Hmm, I wonder? Honestly most male bragging is about seducing women. How he met her, rizzed her up, the obstacles he overcame, etc. Also, how many different women he's been with. Guys will spend 30 minutes on that part of the story and then the end of the story is always like: "...So then you guys fucked?" "Of course" "Nice" And that's it. If there's any talk about the sex itself, it's usually focused on her body or how good she was for him. So I don't feel like there's a huge emphasis on actuall…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 01:29 PM
5

Am I reading this right? Straight guys can be grossed out by pussy? This happens? If you don't like pussy, why not go for trans? Plenty out there with tits and no pussy to worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 01:05 PM
5

"I’m certain I’m better in bed than most men." How do you know? Have you joined in with many other guys to confirm? I've always assumed women aren't necessarily telling the truth with their praise because they have a huge incentive to praise you even if it sucks. It's why so many women fake. "They think you should be grateful just to fuck them, and they think it’s all about them." Dude, I just really love pussy. Favorite part of the female body. It's not all about them. I'm the one who wants my …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 01:00 PM
6

You just struck the reason I made this thread. Truth be told, I kind of suck at seducing women. But I've never once had a woman choose to break it off after sleeping with her. Women become like super glue after sex in my experience. Even when I break up, don't take her seriously despite her wanting me to, etc. They still want to sleep together. I thought it was just how women are and universal. But I hear about men being dumped after sleeping with women and it's like "How did you even manage tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 12:38 PM
10

My mom taught me about sex too. She was too embarrassed to talk about it so she just handed me a book she checked out from the library and told me to come to her if I had any questions. There were no pictures and it was all crudely drawn cartoon characters. The boy characters had just a knob thing sticking out, and the girl characters were totally blank-crotch. Because I guess actually showing anything would be inappropriate for kids. That was my education lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:56 AM
9

Like I said in OP, I have no idea what sex is like for other men because I don't have sex with other men and we don't talk about it. I think I've gotten six total blowjobs in my life, each time her idea. I don't particularly like them because I feel like it's burning down my fuse I'd rather use on PIV. I've also never had sex without going down on her. So when women complain about men being selfish, it's always just been like "what?" I always thought the orgasm gap was about women needing to men…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:50 AM
11

Your mother was the one that instilled in you the importance of eating pussy? How's that conversation go?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:38 AM
7

So it's not that you dropped him because you were so disappointed in the sex? It's that he dropped you because he couldn't live with the embarrassment of seeing you again after that? XD
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:49 AM
-1

If a guy is pushing too hard to make it romantic or emotional when I've stated it's casual, that's a great sign not to fuck him. I would think finding a man on board with casual would be like finding a straw in a haystack? My impression is there's a massive surplus of men that want casual and a massive shortage of women. I typically don't do PIV/penetration the first time I hook up with someone. This is also wild to me, considering other women in here are saying guys don't have the patience to u…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:38 AM
1

If it's someone I'd dating, my standards for him being talented as a Dom are much lower, because he can compensate for being less good in bed with his other qualities. I don't think many men would be happy to hear you make that allowance. At least I wouldn't... Anyway, this is by far the most specific set of qualities so far. It's not failing in a basic sense at sex like the other responses. I could totally see a guy chosen at random being a perfectly satisfying sexual partner for someone else b…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:23 AM
16

I can count on my hands the amount of times someone has gone down on me. Meanwhile i must have done it at least 500 times by now. That is absolutely insane. Holy cow. Hey, men reading this: anyone want to come in and try to justify this one?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 08:06 AM
9

2-3 minutes doesn't cut it. Sometimes you need like 40. Are you doing 2-3 for him too or longer? Does it feel imbalanced? It's so bizarre because talking to guys, you'd think they'd live down there if they were allowed to from the way they talk...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 07:47 AM
1

Silence as in lack of talking, or silence as in lack of all vocalization (moaning, etc)? In what ways are men selfish IYO? An imbalance in amount of time making you feel good vs him? Impatience about foreplay because he wants to put it in already?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 07:42 AM
3

What you're saying is true but misses a very important piece. It's not about choosing nothing vs choosing anything that improves one's life. It's about taking a bunch of options, completely eliminating everything that doesn't improve one's life from even being part of consideration, and then from the remaining options that do improve one's life picking the best one. It's true that there are a few unfortunate men that have basically zero options. Most men have only options that won't improve thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 05:05 AM
3

Many men - something like 1/3rd plus - swipe right on everyone without even looking at them. They do it while watching Netflix or w/e. They don't get likes in return.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 04:53 AM
24

If this were true, I'd expect to have a dating app inbox filled with fatties because they would have the same dating experience as men: being ignored and invisible so they'd take to spamming out likes. While I have noticed fat women are slightly more willing to make an effort and slightly more likely to show up in my inbox, it's not anywhere close to the male experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 04:51 AM
–

This again?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:39 PM
1

So what does that mean? If you have 4 guys, you'll still want it once per week across everyone so now I'm waiting for once per month? More than an open relationship, that sounds more like an occasional booty call. Don't get me wrong, I'll still come give it to you, but I'm gonna be giving my attention to a different girl on the regular.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:19 AM
-1

What would you need multiple men for? I'm more than capable of fulfilling a once-per-week quota by myself with plenty to spare. Me having other women won't interfere with your ability to get what's yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:09 AM
-1

If once a week is the expectation, I would need at a minimum 3 women. Please understand that in advance.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:59 AM
2

Not OP but there is a palpable difference as a man dating women who are 29 vs 30. A woman who is 29 wants to see if you get along, have a good time together, and isn't trying to force anything. A woman who is 30 tells you she wants to be married by the end of the year and asks if marriage ASAP is also a goal that you have. It's like women have a switch inside them that flips at 30. It sometimes also flips earlier if her friends get married. (I think in your case it wouldn't happen though, becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:13 AM
–

Would you say that you were satisfied with the inexperienced guy though? Weren't you bored, like a graduate student sitting through a freshman class where you already know the material? (to borrow your analogy) I'd venture the guess that whatever it was keeping you together with that inexperienced guy - it wasn't the sex. And that's the concern guys have.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 05:07 AM
13

Saying that dating is hard for you as a man is shooting yourself in the foot majorly. Women value the opinions of other women as a heuristic for knowing which men are good because vetting each man themselves is too much work. So if women believe other women like you (eg dating is easy), then it actually makes you more attractive. Likewise, simply acknowledging that not many women like you actively makes you more unattractive to women. This creates an environment where men cannot acknowledge or t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:58 AM
–

Then don't do it all day with the first guy!! If you don't want to have sex all day, then just don't do it all day with anyone and there's no problem. But the moment you have sex all day with one guy, then that better become your policy for life with all future boyfriends. No one wants to be second place to men in your past.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:57 PM
–

The court has an interest in keeping families together, even if it means forcing men to raise kids that aren't their own. That's why they have the 1-year time limit on proving paternity and the requirement for the mother's consent to do an official test even within that 1-year. They're intentionally trying to make it difficult to get evidence that could be used to dispute paternity. Like most family law, it's biased against men and in favor of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:48 PM
2

Like I said, women in my country are willing to pay $100+ per month for marriage consultation (or whatever 結婚相談所 is in English) apps and services because they want to increase their chances of finding a husband. If they "didn't care", then they wouldn't be paying that. Yes, every man interested in them is serious and it isn't about sex so some problems vanish. But the issue is there are just more women than men looking for a serious relationship so not every woman will be able to be paired with …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:39 PM
1

If the other guy is a lifer in Alkatraz with no possibility of parole, she can have a 5 hr phone call with him every day right in front of me. I wouldn't care lol The only issue with "emotional cheating" is that it leads women to want to physically cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:23 PM
2

You understand what you're wishing for, right? Imagine you open your dating app inbox and instead of there being 999+ matches eager to chat you up, it's like 4 guys. And if you don't like any of those 4? Well then, you have no choice but to wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:40 PM
–

I didn't say she doesn't want to have sex at all. I said "she doesn't like or want to have sex with her own boyfriend as much as previous men". This can manifest in all sorts of different ways. In the extreme case, maybe she's doing bare minimum maintenance sex to maintain the relationship she wants? Maybe the only time she can dredge up enough desire to do it is once per month when her cycle is peak? This is less common. Much more common is, as a female friend of mine once put it when describin…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:17 PM
–

The fact, as you correctly point out, she doesn't like or want to have sex with her own boyfriend as much as previous men is exactly the problem and why he should be ending things. If she doesn't like the sex they're having very much, then she has ulterior motive reasons for staying unrelated to sex (eg she sees her boyfriend as a great relationship partner but not a great sex partner).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:53 PM
1

I guess I should add more background detail to my question. I've lived in two countries in my life. In the first one, prostitution was very illegal and so those involved in it tended to also be involved with other illegal things. They also tended to be desperate and didn't have many other options. This, in turn, affected the image of those men that go to prostitutes. They were seeing as preying on desperate women. It also felt risky because she's probably involved in lots of illegal stuff outsid…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:50 AM
1

I'd stay for a prolonged affair if it was long-distance and I was sure she never met the guy, like if he was from another country or something. I'd leave instantly for drunk ONS.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 07:04 AM
14

A woman liking you for you who are as a person but not sexually is the friend zone. Men regularly get glazed by women for personality factors because that's what women like to focus on. We're sick of women that treat us like this and starving for someone that sees us as more than a neutered, disembodied floating mind. Someone that sees us as an actual man. And I don't mean in the gender identity way that once again makes the mistake of overly prescribing things to personality and mental state. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 06:20 AM
-1

Is this actually true? Isn't there concern about how normal women will lose power in dating once men have other outlets to get sex and don't have to rely on the women they date?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:52 AM
2

Dating = sex only? I would be open to dating an older woman if it was only sex. Because as long as she is hot now, that's all that matters for sex. I would not be open to dating an older woman if it was a relationship, because in that case I care about the sex continuing to be good for a longer time. I'm not going to select someone who will age out of being attractive soon enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:49 AM
–

How would you feel if you found out that you were the number one choice for your boyfriend because you were the hottest girl he had as an option? There were other girls with better personalities that he liked better than yours but he doesn't particularly value personality that much in making his decision, so he just chose you based on who is hottest. How would that make you feel? That's how men feel when they are told that they're chosen for relationship reasons by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:44 AM
–

.. If you do the test illegally, then it can't be submitted as evidence in court, obviously. The judge will dismiss it. That means you're still legally on the hook for raising the child because as far as the legal system is concerned it's your child due to the evidence it's not having been dismissed.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:39 AM
1

So why do you think women overwhelmingly want relationships compared to men then?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 04:32 AM
1

Those are all fair points but they are true in both cases. A committed, devoted husband or a short-term fling could both suddenly die of a heart attack for example and there's not much you could do about either. So in relative terms, I think a man who is down for a long-term relationship will always feel more secure to women than the alternative, even if she doesn't end up feeling totally secure in the end.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:54 AM
1

That is genuinely interesting and I wonder what caused the shift. Regardless, the girls surveyed here were in 12th grade, and I'm not dating 12th graders. The dating reality for me dating women in their 30s is that the vast, overwhelming majority of them want a LTR and marriage. It's nearly impossible to find someone who wants anything else. Whether those 12 grade girls who still have the luxury of plenty of time on their side change their minds when they hit 30, or if this is a real demographic…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:46 AM
1

It's not her decision whether it's a problem. It's his. She never told him he was not #1 sexually to her last I heard. She was making a point in a conversation about the importance of sex in choosing a partner and was trying to say it was important but not the be-all-end-all thing we were saying. I asked if she ever told her bf he wasn't #1 to her and she said "Of course not, that would be rude and disrespectful". She's too afraid to be honest and give him information he really should have in or…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:37 AM
0

The solution to paternity uncertainty is a simple DNA test You're a woman, right? How would you take it if your husband said he'd like a paternity test? In my country at least, the mother's consent is required.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:32 AM
2

You not only want what you want but you also want to choose what he should want too. Is that right? Why not just get an AI boyfriend? You can prompt it to be however you want it to be. That way the autonomy of the other person in the relationship doesn't become a hindrance to you getting everything you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:30 AM
1

If you doubt your child's paternity, it should be out in the open. Sneaky testing is unfair to your relationship and the child. Why? A DNA test is non-invasive and won't harm the kid at all. If she's been truthful, then she has nothing to worry about. It could cost you your marriage so you better be right and not just overworking your mind And this is the disincentive for testing. This is why the "you need the mother's consent" was written into law. If there were no cost to being able to test, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:24 AM
0

Women bear the burden of pregnancy/child raising but don't have to worry about whether a child that pops out of her own body is really hers or not. So she's really motivated to find a guy that'll stick around a long time and won't leave her (aka long-term relationship). It gives her security she won't be stuck raising a kid alone. She doesn't feel any particular sense of security from sex. Men don't have to worry about getting pregnant but he has no way to know that the kids that come out of the…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:14 AM
1

I know a fair amount of women and I would be surprised if one of them had an affair. Are you serious? I guess the vast majority of women I know also haven't had an affair that I'm aware of, but you have to get to a really, really close level of trust with someone before they'll admit to you they've had an affair. Of the married women I know, I'm only at that level with 3 of them - and 2 of those have had affairs. Though TBH I think affairs are way more common in my country than most others. Othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:48 AM
1

The problem with your analogy is that the man you're with almost certainly wouldn't be able to get a top 1% Stacy to give him the time of day. That Stacy therefore poses no threat to you because she doesn't want your mid-ass man in the first place. Even if he'd prefer to be with Stacy, it really doesn't matter because he doesn't have a chance with her in the first place. But in the case of women, a top 1% Chad absolutely will give a mid-ass woman the time of day if it's just for sex. So to the e…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:09 AM
3

I retired from work at 34 and live off investments now, and all that happens with more money is the financial aspect of marriage ends up not factoring into it and you're a bit more careful about divorce (it doesn't really matter though if you accumulate your wealth before marriage because only stuff accumulated during marriage is split). Not only can I not relate to wanting marriage for financial reasons, but I tend to view having to blow money as just the cost of admission. Most of the women I …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 10:18 AM
-1

I wouldn't want to date someone I'm not attracted to because that feels completely pointless to me. I'm in a relationship now. You wanna know what I do when I feel sad? Try to get away from her and be alone. I can work through my emotions better on my own than with her anyway. Being single would be better from a purely emotional standpoint.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:24 AM
-2

Of course it's going to be related to how attractive she is. Why wouldn't it be? I'm going to try hard for someone I feel lucky to be with. If it's someone I don't feel particularly lucky to be with, then I'm not going to try very hard. Because if the meh girl walks away then I will just shrug my shoulders and not feel like it's a big loss anyway. But if the once-in-a-lifetime girl walks away then I'm going to be kicking myself forever over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:13 AM
3

You're right that marriage historically originated serving a different purpose. But modern marriage mostly exists as something women want and push for. Every woman I've ever dated except one has asked about marriage in the first 3 dates. The subtext is clear: if you're not at least open to the possibility of marriage, then 95% of women will write you off. It's mostly something men offer women to make themselves more appealing. That's the reason men ask women. It's basically a guaranteed yes that…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:57 AM
1

You'd expect them to be open to long-term FWB if that were true. But they're usually not. Almost all of them want a relationship leading to marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:43 AM
2

You don't get exiled from the tribe just for being single so I don't see how that follows. The emotional benefits from relationships are extremely overrated imo. Try asking a man what his wife or girlfriend does that makes him feel emotionally safe. He'll just kind of blink at your with a blank expression while he tries to come up with something to say. He's never thought about the question before because it's not a big or urgent concern to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:40 AM
2

You get to pick what you value, but you can't really tell others what they should value. It just doesn't work like that. Yes, the emotional benefits of a relationship are nice to have, but they don't take priority. Tell any man who is completely satisfied with his relationship that he's the second best sex his partner has had but by far the overall winner and see how happy he is to hear that. Being told we're the winner due to relationship factors feels to us like how it would feel to you if he …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 07:08 AM
1

I have a female friend who once straight up told me that their current boyfriend isn't the best sex she's ever had but she chooses him for the 23 hours per day they're not having sex. We talk to women. We know how desperate y'all are for relationships and how willing women are to settle sexually to get one she wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 06:57 AM
1

He wouldn't do it knowingly. Would venture the guess that most women out there sleeping with multiple men simultaneously aren't very open about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 06:48 AM
0

What do you think the stuff about men being picky about sluts is all about? Some sort of ideological stance? Oh, I know: an attempt to control womens' behavior, right? lol Guys are concerned that a woman that sleeps around a lot won't be able to give it up when she gets with him and he'll end up raising another dude's kid. That's what's behind it all. That is why men suddenly love sluts the moment they stop asking for a relationship/commitment. Seriously, like half of gender wars / dating confli…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 06:36 AM
0

That's what this thread is about. Although there are many benefits of a relationship (companionship, intimacy, a life partner, etc), she is primarily motivated by seeking security. Men only get those other benefits of a relationship but don't get security, so the motivating factors are less for him. For men a relationship is just a relationship. For women it's a relationship + security. For women sex is just sex. For men it's sex + security.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 06:17 AM
1

You described the "what" but didn't provide an explanation as to "why".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 06:11 AM
2

It's true that men get many of the same relationship benefits as women. I'm not arguing against that. I'm not saying men aren't ever motivated to seek relationships or don't benefit from them. What I'm arguing is that a man's security needs don't get met by a relationship in and of itself and therefore that can't be a motivation for him to seek one in the same way it is for women. And I'd argue this security need is the most powerful motivating force for women to seek relationships. I think it a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 06:11 AM
1

Wow, finally a woman that gets it
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:52 AM
-1

I see women expecting men to want a relationship as much as they do and to be driven by the same motivations for a relationship that they are. But I would say the biggest motivation for women to seek relationships doesn't apply to men at all. Women assume their experience is the human experience and project it onto men, then get upset when their assumptions are revealed to be wrong. But that's what happens when you project stuff that's specific to women onto men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:42 AM
0

Let's be real. Most of the "male loneliness epidemic" is less about loneliness and more about lack of access to sex. That's why the original definition of incel was "involuntarily celibate". That's why men decry being friendzoned by women rather than celebrate the new friend they've earned. Saying "loneliness" makes it sound more serious because women tend to dismiss sex as a valid human need. Same reason people use "intimacy" as a stand-in word.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:38 AM
-1

Ironically, the flaw with your suggestion is exactly what you said. A "Why not both?" attitude, except not applied to only dicks. A man could be the man a woman loves, is her best friend, she could think he'd make an excellent father, and he could be the person that she wants to spend every day together with while also not finding him sexually attractive. And most women have no problems putting up with a dead bedroom if it means they get a fantastic relationship partner because women value the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:33 AM
1

This is not at the level of conscious thought like the decision to have kids is. This is mostly an unconscious thing that shapes men and womens' dating preferences. As I said in another comment, it logically makes less sense that a man should worry about his wife or girlfriend sleeping around with other guys if she's infertile because the possible bad outcomes are less. But that's not how men experience it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:20 AM
2

In the end it doesn't matter much if you raise, let's say, one kid she had previously but she still desires you so you know that any current ones from your relationship are really yours. This isn't what I'm talking about. Not a clear-cut case of "this is a kid from a previous relationship" that already exists. I'm talking about how the biggest driver of male insecurity is being with a woman that he judges as likely to sleep with other men at the same time as him, so if she does have children the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:15 AM
1

And I'd wager a no-relationship accidental pregnancy is likely leaving both ppl feeling pretty insecure about their future. I'm not saying people are executing this well. I'm describing what causes people to feel security vs insecurity and what effects that has.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:06 AM
0

Even 1-4% is really high. Definitely worth worrying about. She's the one that wants the LTR more than he does. It makes sense that men would break first when stressed by something like illness or temptation, all other things being equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:03 AM
0

By your logic, men should feel the most secure with women who have been sterilised or otherwise aren't having children. The instincts that guide this preference aren't at the level of conscious thought most of the time and so aren't aware of nuance like sterilization. But this explains why "cheating" means different things to men and women - with men caring more about sexual cheating and women caring about emotional cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:56 AM
2

What? How is this related to what I wrote? She's not a parent to begin with. I'm talking about men's aversion to raising a kid with a woman that was having sex with 4-5 men simultaneously because he'll always doubt the kid is his.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:47 AM
-4

most men and women date each other just cuz they like each other How do you account for women wanting LTRs more than men then? That means every moment you’re not in a relationship, you’re inherently insecure again. That doesn't make any sense. If he's single, what does he have to be insecure about? The point I brought up was about paternity fraud. Obviously if you remain single, you don't have to worry about raising anyone's kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:45 AM
1

Do lesbians even have sex IRL? I'm just imagining two women with "responsive desire" waiting in deadlock for the other one to initiate lol The popular image of lesbians is U-Hauls. They're all about the relationship part and no one knows if they have sex. The same way gay men kind of represent how straight men would act if they didn't have to deal with women and could embrace the masculine obsession with sex, lesbians are like that except obsessed with relationships. I can't recall a single inst…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 07:26 PM
–

We were fwb for the first 10 months we dated. I wish I could go back to FWB and tried 2 times but she won't let me. I don't know why though. I hate her mom and her boss and all the life stuff that gets pulled in unnecessarily with a relationship. FWB is so much simpler and less stressful.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 12:40 PM
–

I would love to be reduced to being valued only for my body. I understand that women don't like that intellectually. But I cannot relate to it at all. When my girlfriend lists things the likes about me and it starts with personality traits, the farther she gets in her list before giving something physical, the more I feel doubt for the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 09:16 AM
3

If you don't empathize (or at least pretend to), then you miss the opportunity to pose as if you don't have any dating problems at all. This is an opportunity most men would take because it's an error if you don't take the opportunities for scoring easy points whenever they come. So most men prioritize what they do IRL to try to land dates, which leaves no space for being real about your lack of empathy for women's dating woes. That leaves online as the only space left to be able to express anyt…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 10:31 AM
1

Doesn't work well. Like the difference between trying to scratch an itch on your foot with your shoes on vs off. It's kind of satisfying the feeling, but not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 02:05 AM
2

Lizard brain is dumb. The feeling goes away completely if you have sex with a woman on birth control or a woman that's infertile. Lizard brain doesn't know the difference. Just like you can trick lizard brain's desire for sugar by eating 0 calorie sweetener because lizard brain only cares about the sweetness taste receptors being activated and doesn't actually check that you're gaining fat reserves (which is the actual goal of making you want to eat sugar). Lizard brain takes shortcuts and is ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:50 AM
1

It's a thoughtful and hopeful take, but I take a more pessimistic view. many things about modern life are contrary to our primitive instincts, such as most forms of restraint that we express in the course of our lives, and entire social systems we abide by If this were true, the US wouldn't have a rate of overweight and obesity at 70% and climbing. Our primitive instincts that drive us to want to eat sugar instead of vegetables, and to want to rest and preserve energy if possible rather than exe…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:14 AM
3

It's not something as sophisticated as a worldview. It's a primal, animalistic alarm telling you something is wrong and you're in a kind of danger. You can point your finger at nature and call it pathetic all you want but it doesn't change it. You might as well go try to shame a tree for not being able to move around. It won't change anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 04:00 AM
1

It's an interesting thought. Just my gut feeling is that something like growing babies in pods wouldn't do anything about this feeling even though it results in an actual kid with your genes. But realistic sex robots might, even though you can't get them pregnant. The existential dread feeling is dumb and ancient and only understands sex as a proxy for reproduction. Sex with a woman on birth control completely quiets the feeling even though pregnancy isn't possible, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 03:53 AM
4

What do you mean? You can't really override lizard brain. The only way to quiet it is to give it what it wants. If you feel hungry, it's never going to get any better if you ignore it, go to therapy for it, etc You just gotta eat lol Also, it's completely different from feeling horny. Horny is an acute and positive feeling. This is a chronic feeling of dread that grows the longer you don't have sex that sits somewhere between "oh god, I'm 40 and my life is already halfway over" and "I got the di…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 03:47 AM
3

It's not a conscious decision you make with your front brain like deciding if children can fit into the shape of life you've decided you want. It also doesn't come from the emotional part of your brain that worries about never seeing your kids faces or being able to watch them grow up. It comes from a deep, primal and more ancient part of the brain. This part of your lizard brain that doesn't understand things like philosophy but understands snake danger and sugar more. I don't think women have …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 06:14 PM
1

If we just take this logic a few more steps in the same direction, men should marry unattractive, overweight women 20 years older. That way he can maximize his power because she's gonna feel like she could never do better than him. Most people care a hell of a lot more about feeling lucky to be with the person they're with rather than caring about power. It's a lot harder to feel lucky to be with a same-age woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 04:24 PM
4

Not gonna happen. Not getting sex is hardwired into men as a minor emergency. It's your genes screaming at you that if you get hit by a car next week then all traces of you will be unapologetically wiped from the universe. At that point all your friendships, purpose, health, money, emotional competence, and community will not have mattered. So even a guy who has a lot of friends, has money, etc but can't get pussy is just lying to himself in saying he's complete and happy. Because he can't shut …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 04:13 PM
–

You can't keep pumping air into a balloon while expecting it to never burst. It's physically impossible. Every man's limit is different, but I assure you that every man has a limit. Periodically relieve the ever-building pressure and he won't burst.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 08:46 AM
–

I've experienced all 5 supposed love languages from women. In terms of how they've made me feel, they range from kind of annoying (receiving gifts) to meh (acts of service) to okay I guess (words). But overall, they're all just a very weak feeling that barely registers. Sex, on the other hand, is always a huge morale boost and injection of pure joy. Like a nuclear explosion in my mind that obliterates all negatively and only leaves behind a radioactive glow of pure bliss. I could be having the a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 08:00 AM
–

They're in sexless relationships. What do you expect? If there was sex, they wouldn't be doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:39 AM
–

Japan makes for a pretty complicated example imo. For one, Japan is legendarily hard to immigrate to. I know a few western guys who got into marriages they admit they wouldn't have if there wasn't so much visa pressure, so I assume there are many others who did it but simply wouldn't admit it. So there's all this external pressure outside of dating/relationships to get married that western men are subject to but not Japanese men because Japan is a highly sought-after country to move to. It's alm…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 05:41 AM
1

In order to cheat on you with her, he'd need to at least be smooth enough seduce an awkward female engineering student. Actually, that's kind of hard because engineering programs are 90% male so all the nerdlings are thirsting after the few nerdettes. Your bf must have outcompeted all of them. What a player! If you'd chosen a guy that was such a loser that you were his literal only option, he with 100% certainty would not have cheated on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 05:16 AM
1

I understand that objectification comes with the downside of unwanted attention. But I think that's a small price to pay for the fact that there will surely be wanted attention mixed in with it. The normal male experience is no sexual attention, which is clearly worse. You talk a lot about a person's personhood being stripped away. Mens' sense of relationship security is based on getting sexual desire, not on anything related to his personhood. A woman who fully appreciates a man's personhood an…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 04:19 AM
2

Unfortunately I'm banned from redpill women so I can't ask there but i'm curious about getting different view points Given your opening paragraph, I wonder why XD
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 04:10 AM
1

See? You just denied that you're shallow. If you all would just own it, guys wouldn't feel so betrayed when we see that your words don't match your actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 04:03 AM
3

Imagine a guy that becomes a radical feminist and starts bashing men because he wants to sleep with a hot radfem chick. If he actually pulled it off, his bros that he disparaged to get in the girl's pants would be high-fiving him. No one would care lol I feel bad for women. Without pussy to chase as a unifying life goal, you all don't know what to even do with yourselves. It reminds me of the elderly neighbor who's entire attention is fixed on your rose bushes growing slightly over the property …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 03:55 AM
-1

When have men ever denied that we are shallow? The problem with women being shallow isn't that they are shallow. The problem is that they're shallow while simultaneously denying that they're shallow. The deception part is what turns guys bitter. People don't like being lied to.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 03:33 AM
0

The "you're a catch" thing would never be said to a woman by a man because women don't doubt their ability to date in the first place. Just sign up for a dating app and you'll have 100 matches in an hour. It's only something women say to men they want to keep around but not fuck. In other words, something they use to string along a friend despite knowing they don't want what he does.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:31 PM
0

You fucking around is different then the premise op in about. Which is dating friends. You seem to have lost the thread of what you're even saying. The premise the OP is talking about are his female friends telling him he's a catch but they wouldn't date him. So OP is the one being judged. And I very seriously doubt OP's feelings are going to be hurt if all of his female friends come out and tell him they just want to fuck and that's all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:17 PM
2

If you pass someone on the street and don't know anything about them, or meet someone that doesn't speak your language, do you see them as sub-human? I don't date with the expectation or requirement that everyone be a potential forever life partner. So I don't care about things like large disagreements, life goals, language compatibility, etc. I do date with the requirement that everyone be attractive though. Otherwise there's no point.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:49 PM
2

So you're telling you would date any woman regardless of how different your life goals were or large disagreements on major life events? You say "would" like it's a hypothetical question lol Dated 5-6 maybe? I once dated a woman for several months that didn't speak the same language as me. Couldn't tell you the first thing about her other than she was hot and playful and fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:27 PM
3

Oh, I've had that before. Two different girls that I invested a lot of time in because I really liked them beyond just physical attraction and so I hoped it would work out but ultimately got friendzoned by both so I learned to ignore that feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:23 PM
8

Yes. We call those women either fat or ugly. I've had 10 year friendships with women that were good people but were fat or ugly so I wouldn't date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:00 PM
2

What is "the spark"? Is it something men can feel or is it women-only?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:59 PM
20

Personally I think it betrays a terrible truth about the blue pill - They don't have any good advice to give to men about dating so they frame it as a problem with the person asking rather than just saying "I don't know." I have a more cynical take than this. If you forget about dating for a second and look at mainstream (aka BP) relationship advice, a lot of it tends to be good actually. This advice mostly applies regardless of gender. Things like "Communication and setting boundaries is import…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 06:46 AM
6

So you admit women will pass up the fat guy with a heart of gold to be with the attractive guy with nothing else on offer? Men have no problem admitting we do this. Hell, if a man wants to brag to his bros about a girl he slept with recently, what do you think he's doing: launching into a monologue about how wonderful she is as a person or pulling out a picture on his phone to show? Women have a big problem admitting they do this same thing tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 06:33 AM
–

I agree with everything you said except this: Essentially sit around and hope that you bump into some woman. The wording isn't correct. The way it would be phrased in BP advice is "The right girl will come along, just you wait and see." Notice who is active and who is passive. Normally in dating, the man is expected to be the active one and the woman is expected to be passive. But in BP advice directed toward unsuccessful men, it's always flipped. He's supposed to do nothing except wait for the …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 05:51 AM
10

That is what we hear all our lives. It's why BP is the default. The problem is that the lived experience of men seems to suggest that isn't true. Which is why so many men end up rejecting BP. Just speaking personally, I was fat for 10 years in my 20s. I had zero opportunity. Lost weight and gained muscle at 28, suddenly there's opportunity despite me being the same person inside. Women are shallow. Women just really, really hate having it pointed out to them. They'll do anything to deny it, as y…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:57 AM
7

One of the differences between men and women is that men own how shallow we are in dating, but women tend to deny it and say they choose men based on deeper things like character. The BP take is to generally see women as honest and take what they say at face value. That implies that a man following BP advice who is fat and broke but knows he has a heart of gold shouldn't worry about those things impacting his dating life because women somehow see right through the surface and into a person's sou…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:30 AM
–

It's not the end of BP dating advice. Next is: "Try to find happiness outside of dating! The thing about dating is the moment you stop worrying about it is the moment you'll find success." In other words, continue to be complacent, ignore the problem, and hope your situation will change even though you're doing nothing to change it. Absolute bullocks. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I'm pretty sure BP advice was designed to keep unpopular men single and easy to identify so that women will hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:22 AM
1

For women, cheating is mostly about them not getting everything they need in their current relationship. For men, cheating is mostly about having new opportunities that he didn't realize he had. Both these tendencies have been shown in research. In the same way that a woman won't cheat if she's not missing anything in her relationship, a man won't cheat if he doesn't have the opportunity to. A reality of dating as a man that women don't understand typically is the amount of time and effort it ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:55 AM
3

I know a lot of guys that used to drive fancy cars but now they drive family SUVs. I always thought fancy cars were like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu: he insists he loves it but you can't help but notice that he started going as soon as he became single and stopped going almost right after he got a gf. Stuff that's actually fulfilling is mostly cheap or free. Probably the most expensive thing I can think of is I backpacked internationally continuously for 6 months and it only cost $21k. That sounds like …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:16 AM
2

lol no. I've gotten into relationships with women I only cared about for sex before when I didn't have anything else going on so the exclusivity didn't cost anything. You have a couple weeks to couple months relationship then break up. It's called "serial monogamy" and a huge amount of men choose that way of sleeping around if they're not hot enough to have multiple options at a given time or not hot enough to get casual sex in general. It's the most low-friction way to sleep around in that case…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:47 AM
0

Whereas she thinks she has a genuine male friend. Well then, she's dumb. There's no such thing as the fuck zone you describe because there's no uncertainty about it from the woman's perspective: she's the one with an interest in obfuscating it. Because there's a real simple flow chart she can follow to know which he is: They're friends + she's not attractive -> he's a genuine male friend They're friends + she's attractive -> he also wants to fuck her
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:42 AM
–

-I don't think its a good idea to "grow old" with someone of the male gender that is forever most sexually attracted to 18-21yr olds. Probably why most guys with aging wives cheat and put in zero effort into the marriage (men cheat more as they get older statistically). Pretty sure this is the main reason, except it has more to do with women feeling a sense of despair at the prospect of growing older than anything to do with men's behavior. Anyway... Whatever the rate is for married men to run o…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 08:09 PM
2

It's a lot easier for a man to tell if a woman is sexually interested or just leading him on with friendzone than it is for a woman to tell if a man is interested in a relationship or just leading her on for sex, though. Don't you think the bar is higher for women to be self-aware than men?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 08:01 PM
–

Because if it's just sex and you're not asking for anything else from the guy, you all have a golden ticket and the sky is the limit on what you can get with it. There are women out there that go sleep with their millionaire famous celebrity crush because that's something women can just do whenever they want. So then why would you ever settle for "there and good enough"? That's like getting a card that lets you stay free at any hotel and you choose a Motel 6 instead of the Ritz Carlton because "…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:54 PM
–

We already get the overweight and older women mixed in. It's just that unlike womens' experience, we have to wait weeks or months between them. Women could sort through their bursting dating app matches and find 10 fantastic guys on any given day if they actually put in the effort. Guys, no matter how eager or willing to put in the effort, don't even get that choice. Just have to wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:40 PM
-4

Cute is enough to start the relationship. Making life harder is usually what ends it. So an absence of making life harder means it just continues forever. Examples of making life harder: fighting you every step of the way, dredging up things from the past continuously instead of moving past it, disrupting peace by being a nagging busybody, etc etc. It can take many forms, but basically just being a pain in the ass to deal with.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:45 AM
1

I can't think of a single BP personality on YouTube with a majority male audience. All the BP shills like Matthew Hussey who spend all of their time talking about relationship crap and treat sex like an afterthought or side note (as is usually the case with BP) end up with a 95% female audience. Even BP guys don't want to watch that shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:38 AM
1

What...the fuck? I have no idea about this guy so tell me - why the hell would a man that's entire online presence is built upon him being King of Pussy admit to having ED publicly like that? I guess kudos for the honesty but...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:34 AM
1

Idolizing man whores makes no sense because it's fairly easy for men to get sex with women if they aim for women that are unnattractive or addicted to drugs or alcohol. No one is out there making content where they brag about dating fatties, though. Everyone is saying they're sleeping with women that are attractive. Most have photo or video evidence to back it up. If the women they were whoring around with weren't attractive, they wouldn't have an audience.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:22 AM
-3

Cute and doesn't make life much harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:19 AM
10

While I agree with this in theory, the difference between "what a man cares about for himself" and "what women care about in a man" is absolutely enormous. Take money for example. If a man doesn't need to impress women, then he really only needs enough money to live the life he wants. I'd say in practice that'll be like 10% of what he needs if he wants to impress women. Taking my life for example, I don't need a high rise condo in a major city with a great view, lots of space, a guest bathroom, …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:15 AM
2

And then those guys get shut down while following their instincts and realize they need an actual dating strategy like RP and to develop a different persona if they want results.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 08:15 AM
3

ie some say “men don’t have the luxury of being selective!”, which directly contradicts RP’s own “I Am the Prize” as well as “Nexting” and “Abundance Mentality” No, RP advises getting into state when in the field. It doesn't say you have to maintain state at all times. That sounds exhausting, honestly. Having whatever beliefs / saying whatever you want is fine as long as you're not actively trying to pick up women while doing that. This is actually a mistake I see a lot on this sub. People assum…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 04:10 AM
–

The golden rule says I should send unsolicited dick pics to every woman I think is attractive because I'd I'd like to receive unsolicited nudes from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:48 PM
1

I think you might be mixing up "women like assholes" with "women like misogynists". They're not really the same thing. Lots of people are assholes toward everyone, for example. Assholes are attractive to women because a characteristic assholes often have is confidently believing that they are better than everyone else. Women take that at face value - if he genuinely believes that he's better than her, then that must mean he's a real catch and she's therefore lucky to have him. It's the opposite …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:41 PM
–

I've never understood this attitude. Why would you become "a dude who can only get laid when money is exchanged"? It's 100% possible to be getting laid from dating and also sleeping with escorts. In fact, I would argue that that is one of the best ways to use escorts (alongside doing stuff that just isn't possible naturally, like 5 different women in one night, etc). One of the best things about escorts is that once you know you can have sex whenever you want, it removes all the outcome dependen…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:16 PM
3

I mean, I'd say the attitudes are better here too. There isn't even a word for "entitled" in Japanese language...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 05:52 PM
–

I'm ahead of the curve. Already bought my long pants with stilts sown inside.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 05:10 PM
4

This just flat out isn't true. I'm from the US originally but live in Japan now. The rate of being overweight or obese in the US sits at 75%. The rate in Japan is 4%. Thin comes standard with everyone here so you don't have to compete harder for it at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 05:06 PM
-1

To point out how silly the whole "be clear about your intentions" thing is. Women clearly expect men to pretend to be just friends for at least a little while in the beginning because they require a longer warm-up period than we do. Even though we know from the start.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:06 PM
2

Feeling helpless all the time because you can't do anything for yourself sucks. Looking in the mirror and not liking yourself sucks. It makes sense you'd prioritize whichever one the other sex cares about, but they should both be important to everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:03 PM
0

And you lied about your intentions. How come women don't respond well to the guys who send out dick pics? Aren't they making their intentions crystal clear from the start? You all talk about how guys should have clear intentions, but that just comes from a desire to make your own job of filtering easier. If it were as simple as saying "hey dtf?" then believe me guys would not go through the trouble of faking anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 07:52 AM
-2

Women: "No one is forcing you to pretend to be friends or hide feelings." Also women: "I hate it when guys make things sexual right away. It's like he doesn't even care to get to know me." At the end of the day, there is just no pleasing most women and you have to pick one approach or the other. After getting burned by friendzone a couple times, I now make it a point to make things sexual early. I make it a point to drop her immediately if she says things like "Let's take it slow", "Let's get to…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 07:40 AM
1

So this is the slut shaming women keep talking about in action...You're the one doing it? Why??? What is wrong with you? The world needs more sluts. We have a dangerously low supply, and you're making shit worse by discouraging it. I, for one, am sick of all these purity cosplayers who think every damn sexual encounter needs to result in a several-years-long serious relationship or it's not worth doing. I'd have loved to be one of the 25. Because right now I'm stuck in a relationship I don't wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 04:53 AM
4

What kind of weird insecurity is this? Even forgetting about dating entirely, being capable is important to me as its own thing because I need things like money in order to live the sort of life I want and I don't want to just become a couch stoner and live off food stamps. So if I've somehow fucked up so badly that other people would consider me a burden on them rather than someone who adds to their life, then child support and alimony wouldn't even be the highest priority problems to sort out …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 04:29 AM
4

TBH I don't mind this at all. I like feeling useful for the person I'm with. I would not want to be a useless barnacle attached to her who still expects appreciation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 04:13 AM
2

It's a feedback loop. Those guys are attaching so much meaning to sex precisely because it's the most difficult thing to achieve, so if it's achieved under the wrong conditions or too easily then it loses some of its meaning. I really wonder what a world of abundantly available sex for every man would be like. I imagine we'd all have to confront having to attach meaning to something else.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:49 PM
2

Men are mostly to blame for this IMO. Men as a whole intentionally spread the lie that they don't have any problems in dating in order to make themselves appear to be the Emperor of Pussy. The problem is that when every man does this to try to give themselves a leg up, it means that the few guys who are actually honest end up looking like they are the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:36 PM
-1

It doesn't have to be you specifically, but out of 4.1 billion women, you'd think that there would be at least one philanthropic slut who is willing to do god's work.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:30 PM
1

Man, I'd rather be single than someone's second choice. I've been some women's not-first choice before (I was probably choice number 60 for one of them lol - she got around) and you can definitely feel it. Girlfriend of 2 years now has only been with 4 guys total including me. I was lucky enough that the first two were one-time things (women usually aren't able to fully relax the first time or two) and her only long-term boyfriend didn't do oral because "that's gross". So as far as my girlfriend…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:23 PM
1

It's like telling a drunk guy to just drive better.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 02:05 PM
1

Yeah... I for one would like hard pass on that one. I don't want to be someone's second choice for sex but first choice for family, partnership, emotional support, etc. That sounds like a great way to be chosen by her to be her every-one-of-life's-moments guy she spends every day with and who helps her raise her kids long term, but not necessarily the guy she wants to make the kids with in the first place. No reason to take that risk. I think women are often disappointed with how much guys care …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 02:02 PM
1

there is no such qualitative difference, women just have less raw libido and much higher standards (across the board) for activating it I (and I think a lot of other guys too) would prefer pretty much any other explanation to be true over this. In general, most men's sense of relationship security is based on how much she wants to fuck him very specifically. It's a problem if she wants to fuck every guy, but it's equally a problem if she wants to fuck no guys, including her partner. And I don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 08:21 AM
2

That's a really good point and I've experienced it with almost every woman I've slept with. Women have pre-nut clarity and a post-nut rosy filter. I think that's the reason women tend to suddenly get clingy and starts sending "Can't wait to see you again, how about tonight? ☺️" messages right afterward, at the worst possible time because PNC ensures his opinion of her will predictably be at a record low. But while what you're saying is true and I think women would generally be happy with whoever…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 08:14 AM
1

I get PNC even when jacking off. Like realizing that I just jacked off to something that is so weird that I would never choose to jack off to it - and yet there I am having done just that. Then shamefully clearing the browser history so no one knows. That said, if there's nothing bad that suddenly gets clarified, it doesn't have any effect obviously. I don't get PNC when the women are good, the porn is normal, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 08:06 AM
0

It isn't really a choice. It's like telling a drunk person to make better decisions, or telling yourself while dreaming to act more sensibly. Your perceptions and decision making processes are just different in those states.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 08:02 AM
1

No. It's just whatever her flaws were were invisible to me before sex, then get revealed afterward with the gift of hindsight. Have you ever had a movie you loved as a kid and felt nostalgic for, but when you went back and watched it as an adult and it just didn't stand up anymore? The movie hasn't actually changed, just your impressions around it because you're judging it from a completely different perspective. It's like that. It doesn't mean that every movie you watched as a child is necessar…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:56 AM
1

Mixing in teasing or fair criticism, which I got from PUA. It works really well. Every date that's ever gone well, I can pinpoint either a moment where she did or said something ridiculous and I teased her about it and had her laughing really hard, or she genuinely messed up in some way like acting rude to old people and I called her on it and she spent the rest of the date trying to repair my impression of her. On the flip side, I've never had a date go well where she was on her best behavior a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 08:13 PM
17

The entire point of trying to successful with women in general in dating is in order to increase the options a man has so that hopefully, god willing, one of those options turns out to be halfway decent. All of the things you've described are filters. They take a set of options and further narrow them down. This is not something that a person with almost no options to begin with can afford to do. As with every bit of advice women give to men in dating, it's useless at best and counterproductive …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:46 PM
1

https://youtu.be/FjNyTtW-6K8?t=57
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:29 PM
1

Wanting something long term is always her preference, not mine. Long term, short term, idc
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:58 PM
1

This is so dumb. Like something a politician says that sounds good but doesn't mean anything. The word "compatible" is doing way more work than the word "one" in that sentence. Presumably, there is >1 person who is not compatible and you're rejecting, right? That implies that having many dating options is important. Because if you don't have many options, you may have only incompatible people to choose from.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 09:07 AM
1

Is being smart really all that important? I think being attractive will set you up for success in life far more than being smart. Unattractive nerds aren't exactly the peak of what people aspire to be. Smart is a nice-to-have at best. Edit: I remember seeing a post on r/dataisbeautiful of a guy who made some sort of analytics app to track Tinder stats. He used his own Tinder to test it and show off the graphs, etc and everyone in the thread was incredibly envious over his 25% match rate but no o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 07:22 AM
0

Also dated a woman where we had no language overlap between us for a year. I think her English vocabulary had to be <50 words. I mean, yeah, there are challenges with not being able to communicate but if she's hot then she's hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 07:13 AM
0

Yeah, so that's why I originally said Does your bf care about the stuff you mentioned? Yeah, probably a little. It's like 1% how much he cares about the shallow stuff everyone's been telling you we care about. It's gonna be a thing he looks back on and says "Oh, yeah, it's kind of nice that she also coincidentally happens to be smart". But it'll be more of a lucky accident than what he bases decisions on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:01 AM
0

Attraction may come from children but it's not what you consciously think about or make decisions based on. You think "She's pretty", not "Man, I bet my children would be set up for success in life if they inherited her facial symmetry". I don't chose partners like I'm shopping for attributes for future children. There's just no connection between smart and hot, for whatever reason. There is a connection between things like pretty and hot, young and hot, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:53 AM
-4

I definitely subscribe to "I'd date a cashier from Wendy's if she's hot". I'm actually dealing with issues with my girlfriend's job now because she's a pharmacist and her job is being a pain in the ass. A girl with a job she doesn't care about and that isn't all wrapped up in her identity would massively be a plus... Intelligence is good in some ways but it's not really related to attraction. My girlfriend is very smart - former honor student, loves reading and solving mystery books, puzzle game…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:44 AM
-4

Just like the other comment you dismissed about bartenders, strippers tend not to be the best candidates to lock down so it doesn't surprise me that he didn't. The only thing that surprises me about your whole description is that you're 40 and he's 35. He could easily be with someone in her 20s. I have no explanation for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:35 AM
-2

Do you date primarily to get good results or for validation and to bolster your own ego? Do you really think that a guy who ends up with an obese American woman is "winning" just because American women have held up the hoop he needs to jump through higher than anyone else? It's like saying the best gambler is the one who willingly plays the game whose odds are most stacked in favor of the house and has the lowest payout. That him walking away with a nickel winnings makes him a bigger winner than…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:20 AM
-3

It's so weird that some women feel the need to take it upon themselves to teach men how men really are and what they value. It's the same energy as when men tell women that women really only care about height and abs, except worse. In the case of men telling women what they really value, women push back at least partially because agreeing to it makes them seem more shallow. But in the case of women telling men what they really value, men push back to being seen as more virtuous than we really ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:46 AM
2

Not only is doing so a reliable way of having sex, it's cheaper in the long run than jumping through the hoops of paying for dating apps and paying for dates. Hahahahaha XD Absolutely not. Not even close. Have you price checked your local prostitutes? lol Check your math. Even the biggest gold-digger is several times cheaper than a prostitute hour-for-hour.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 02:37 PM
5

Women are the ones entitled. If she hit him with a flat rejection immediately, there's be no hard feelings which proves he doesn't feel entitled to romantic/sexual interest. The problem is that women feel entitled to a man's friendship. They feel completely justified in stringing men along and wasting his time. They'll consume dozens of his days off that he could be out looking for dates without feeling the slightest twinge of guilt and despite knowing that it's a road to nowhere, because they t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 02:34 PM
–

I would love to not be in a relationship, unfortunately women insist on it so I have to be in a relationship whether I want one or not if I want consistent sex. I tried to date for the first few years with the goal of building a roster of women while remaining single. Text the girl I wanna see one night and she says she's busy? Okay, no problem, just go to the next one. On down the line. No dealing with her schedule, her parents, her job, or any of the other bullshit that comes with a relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 02:25 PM
–

Men need women more than women need men. It's not even about "self worth" or any other fuzzy emotional thing. Much lower-level need in Maslow's pyramid. A bunch of men try to overcome their sex drives through willpower alone with things like No Nut November but extremely few succeed long-term. Meanwhile tons of women are running around saying they have "responsive desire" and they can go weeks without sex even crossing their minds without even particularly trying to exercise any willpower.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 08:07 AM
–

What every woman thinks is a nice thing to say to a guy: "You don't need to change. You're great just the way you are, and I feel really lucky to call you my friend! ☺️ Someday the right girl will come along, so don't you worry!" In other words, just keep being complacent and unattractive and continue to have faith that women aren't so shallow as to make dating decisions based largely on looks. Don't try to improve yourself. Right now it's easy to categorize you as a loser so women easily know t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 07:19 AM
0

What...the hell.....? Do we need to go back to dating kindergarten and review some material you were apparently absent for? Women aren't motivated by just wanting to fuck like men are. Doing that would just leave her pregnant and alone. She wants to fuck a guy nice enough to bring back food for her so she doesn't have to waddle her pregnant ass out of the cave to get it herself. Women aren't attracted to simps because simps aren't assertive enough to get what they want out of life. But women als…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 07:08 AM
0

Because she's not going to be in a relationship with you if you never do anything nice for her. And holding a door doesn't cost you anything. Hold 10 doors for her and you can put your foot down on something that really matters. Being a simp kills her attraction. I have no doubt that tons of men who have dead bedrooms and are complaining sex stopped after marriage are simps. But no one wants a relationship like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:27 AM
0

Paying for a meal and holding a door for her is not simping. That's picking your battles lol Simping is when you put up with shit that should be a boundary you set. Or when you pretend to agree with some stupid shit just because it's a way to suck up to her. Simping is kind of a self-solving problem because simps shoot themselves in the foot. Women aren't actually attracted to simps. They get friendzoned perpetually.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:28 PM
3

You really don't think there are such things as segments of different types of women and some are easier to date than others? That it's possible to do fine with a segment of women that you don't actually want to date, but to struggle with the women you do? (eg fat women, 35+ women, single moms, etc) There's a reason guys tend to describe it as "the juice isn't worth the squeeze". It's not that they're not getting any juice out when they squeeze. It's just juice that they'd not want to drink anyw…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:44 AM
1

Incel's actual definition is "involuntarily celibate". The people who use the word to mean "man who hates women", "virgin but it's totally his fault", etc do so knowing that that's not the real definition. They're misusing it intentionally to just be an insult. Similar to how words like "mentally retarded" have a real definition but have fallen into mostly being used as an insult toward anyone someone thinks is dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 02:52 AM
1

I had to scroll this far down to have my faith in womankind restored. unhappy emotionally + well fucked is so much better than the opposite. It's just Maslow's needs pyramid. Sex is at the same level as things like shelter imo. Not technically a "need" in the sense that you won't die without it, but you can't be happy if you're being rained on and freezing all the time. Emotional stuff takes a backseat to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 02:41 AM
1

This thread is once again ruining my faith in womankind. The amount of women who said this wouldn't be a dealbreaker...My god.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 02:34 AM
3

Changing your dating pool is the solution to this. If you date in a country that's 75% overweight or obese (*cough* USA *cough*) and finding someone that isn't fat is important to you, you're going to have to compete so hard for something that should honestly be bare minimum. Passport bros gets a bad name because people focus on the easy targets. Sexpats going to Thailand, etc. But there's a whole world of possible places to date in, and many countries are not majority fat so a girl that's a rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 10:43 AM
1

I’ve lost count of how many times a man asked me for a photo and, when asked why, simply answered: “Because I want it.” If a woman told me she wanted my photo to masturbate to, that would make my life. There would be absolutely no thought of "What's in it for me?" because she just gave the most amazing gift possible. There's nothing else she could give that I'd want more. I will never understand the way women think...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:17 PM
2

Yes, because your husband would absolutely tell you if the opposite were true lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 04:48 PM
2

Because the guy who gets to make a kid can still go make and raise a different kid with a different woman as well while the first woman tricks some other rich but ugly chump into giving the hot guy's kid a world class upbringing. Maybe that kid gets a better upbringing than anything the hot guy can provide himself? The kid and the woman win because the kid gets the best genes and resources and a present, attentive, loyal father. What's selfish about that? The only loser is the rich chump being t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 02:08 PM
1

Yeah, men don't care about any of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 11:59 AM
1

Attraction is not a biological fact. There's at least some room for subjectivity, like a person's types, etc. The issue is that many people hijack that subjective wiggle room to try to suggest tiny little minor things should override the big things like health and fitness. You see this from guys who are posing for women all the time in places like r/AskReddit. "Oh, yeah, I would never date someone younger because I value maturity and shared cultural references." And then all the women come and c…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 09:53 AM
1

So this would be understandable in the same way, except the difference and the problem is that the way that rich men are attractive to women is not the same as the way hot men are attractive to women. A rich man makes her feel like "This is a good guy to raise a kid with". A hot man makes her feel like "This is a good guy to make a kid with". The two feelings don't have to be toward the same person, either. You could very well have the rich guy raising the hot guy's kid and you get the best of b…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 05:10 AM
8

Absolutely surprising for many people
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:47 AM
6

I know only 2 examples of guys in my life that successfully escaped the friend zone. For every woman that has to warm up, there are 100 that will never warm up but want your time anyway. There's no way to tell which women are slow to warm up and which are just time-wasters either. Plus starting on anything other than physical attraction is a terrible foundation. If you do that, you risk 1) an eventual dead bedroom with a woman who is just low libido and isn't really attracted to anyone, or 2) sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 07:22 PM
4

"No" is not the problem. In fact, there's no quicker way to get over worrying about being told "no" than being put in the friendzone a time or two. It makes you want nothing more than a clear "yes" or "no". It makes you learn to escalate physically early in order to make her choose one way or the other. If you allow her to, she'd love to sit in the space between "yes" and "no" for years. So you welcome "no" because it means you can just drop her and move on. When I was younger, I foolishly belie…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 06:50 PM
6

This empty lie gets men burned and then subsequently fills the audiences of the manosphere. I also like how the first reason you give is "she should have friends" and the next reason you give is "you just might find someone". Her needs come first and are definite. His needs are secondary and indefinite, but just having a small chance should be enough for men, right? There's a reason pretty much all men view other men who tolerate being in the friendzone as pathetic. Attraction is not something t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 05:18 PM
–

This depends on how you're going about doing it and the things leading up to the sex, and if you're experiencing this problem then it's a skill issue on your part. If you're making him feel like he's just another guy and this is how you treat all guys, then what you're saying is correct but it's entirely your fault. If you're making him feel like he's special and the exception, that all other guys have to wait to get into your pants but he gets the Fast Pass, then it will be nothing but green fl…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 05:01 PM
-1

And yet, women manage to stay attracted to their partners as they grow older. Curious Really though? I've always low key thought this was another conversation society isn't ready for. How much of her libido drop due to "menopause" is actually due to menopause. We tend to attribute a lot to biology whenever it's convenient to us. 20-somethings fuck each other silly all the time because of "raging hormones". Grandpa doesn't want to fuck grandma anymore because "testosterone drops with age". Then c…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 02:30 PM
-2

You said it yourself: most men don't end up in age gap relationships and in fact most end up with someone similarly aged. (Even if they'd prefer to be with someone younger) So the balance of reality is on the side of LTR, marriage, nuclear families, etc. Not to mention all the laws and other societal stuff we've built around incentivizing men to not run out on their wifes/families. But it means accepting a more accurate but at the same time more precarious version of relationships than women wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 12:40 PM
1

The most controversial statement made in your post is this: We all know men of all ages want young women A LOT of women are in denial of this because they are made insecure by the thought that their partner may eventually lose attraction for them and leave them for a younger woman if given the chance. A lot of men also lie about this and say they only find women around their own age attractive because they know that saying otherwise will torpedo their chances of getting laid with most women. (Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 11:56 AM
12

What is with the denial around this? If a man wants more friends, then he can go out and make more friends. There's nothing stopping him. If he wants to open up to a friend about something, he can because again there's nothing stopping him. Reality is not putting up any roadblocks for these things, so I think it's safe to assume the men who aren't doing those things just don't care very much to be doing those things. Otherwise they would. Escorts are expensive. That's a roadblock.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 03:47 AM
10

Yeah, so I would say most men don't really care about that though. It's not something that is occupying our mind very often, which is why we don't work very hard to do anything about it. Sex does occupy our mind often. The whole "loneliness" thing is literally just word substitution. It's a sex thing, not a loneliness thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 03:16 AM
17

Female circles have tended to the more welcoming across the board - to the point where it isn’t uncommon for trans women to fear coming out the most to their cis straight male friends - far less so other groups. To add to this, cis women are hesitant to befriend cis straight men because cis straight men are more likely to see friendly approaches from women as flirting. ...Are you being serious? Do you not have any ability to read between the lines? When guys complain about the "loneliness epidem…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 03:06 AM
2

Purple pill to me means some bits of red or even black pill are correct and some bits of blue pill are correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:30 PM
1

Enjoy posting on r/waitingtowed/ on year 7 because the guy you got with that's only 2 months older than you can't get that nagging thought out of his head that maybe he could do better...
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:18 PM
3

Kind of, but not technically. There are some women that actually do get spontaneous desire for men that aren't Chad. I know because I've experienced it. There are also women that are just straight up asexual. But if you take the average woman, I think she only gets turned on spontaneously by extremely attractive guys. Try asking women in your life "How often does your attention get jerked away from whatever you're doing or thinking about because a guy who is absolutely beautiful walks by?" Most …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:10 PM
5

So do you just never have sex? Because you're both waiting to for the other to initiate? Somehow I doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 03:31 PM
4

The kinds of desire that men and women feel are not fundamentally different. Do women have responsive desire? Yes. But so do men. If a man is not thinking about sex at all and a hot woman starts pressing her body against his or running her hands up and down his chest or whispering sexy things in his ear, he's going to get turned on in exactly the same way women do. So the whole "men have spontaneous desire, but women have responsive desire" dichotomy is bogus. The thing about responsive desire t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 03:21 PM
2

They’re the same people who wants a fuck buddy, but expects the fuck buddy to act like a girlfriend/boyfriend. What do you mean, act like a girlfriend/boyfriend? You mean staying exclusive to just them? Just speaking personally, yeah, we should start off as fuck buddies at least for a while. Friendship and sex should happen before talking about a relationship. And it should damn well happen before talking about marriage. If you want to go off and fuck other guys in the mean time, feel free. It m…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:22 PM
3

Your post automatically assumes that a relationship > a situationship. If everyone thought like that, then there wouldn't be such a thing as situationships. So obviously many will disagree with you there. I'll take a situationship 100x over a woman who starts giving me her marriage timeline expectations in the first conversation. It's why I've sworn off women over 30. They just see you as a means to a ring, preferably as fast as possible (she'll tell you when the deadline is too lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:39 AM
0

You want women to call you an incel or something? Don't you want to get laid? Promote women's rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:33 AM
1

I guess that makes sense in a way...So what you're saying is that you're trying to protect her from bad marriage decisions (because I guess it's more consequential and permanent?), rather than bad sexual decisions (I guess you're okay with her making those?). You're kind of assuming your daughter will be gung ho about marriage and so it's on the guy to put the breaks on that. You're saying the problem with older men is that they won't be as discerning as a younger man in making marriage decision…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 08:12 AM
0

So what are you saying? You're trying to protect her from marrying the wrong guy instead of sleeping with the wrong guy? I don't understand...Doesn't his willingness to meet the parents in the first place go a long way to proving good intentions, regardless of age? My intuition says an older man will be more likely to consider himself lucky to be with a younger woman and therefore treat her more seriously. Whereas a younger guy is less likely to even get to meeting the parents because he's more …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 07:26 AM
3

Trying to understand your thought process here. So let me summarize to see if I've got it right: -If the guy is plausibly part of who you'd expect to be in her normal social circle, then that means it's probably safe to assume that he got to know her naturally through social stuff and so he must value your daughter for who she is rather than her body. -If the guy is not plausibly part of her normal social circle, then that means it's probably safe to assume he's targeting her because he's specif…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:32 AM
2

All men value both. Go find the 70 year old woman who is the absolute best person in her age bracket in the world and check to see if there's a line of young men wanting to be with her. Acting like you see through to a person's soul but you don't see their body is bullshit posing that men do in order to try to get laid because they know it's what women want to hear. An honest man will say he sees both.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:21 AM
0

It's not about feeling too good for a woman his own age. It's that it feels even. And that's exactly the problem. Imagine a partner that you feel completely evenly matched with. They're not particularly bad, but they're not particularly good either. They're okay. But at the same time, they're only okay. Would you feel lucky to be with that person? Would you want to commit long-term to that person? Personally, I'd say this is a recipe for a 7 year long relationship where the guy feels comfortable…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 02:03 AM
4

The only kind of guy that would do this is someone completely pathetic who thinks his partner is his only lifetime shot at pussy. That's why he cheats first chance he gets (he's being shown there's an alternative after all). And his willingness to cheat shows he doesn't value the relationship in the first place - which makes total sense if you think about it. The one who is getting all the value from the relationship is the low libido one because you know she's not staying for the sex so the rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:48 AM
1

In fact, why would the secretary want that too when she's gonna get old in a few years herself. Are you guys gonna team up and unionize or something? lol The wife and the mistress come together, become besties, and kick the old man to the curve together because girl power and what's best for womankind trumps any particular man or relationship? Yeah, in some sort of centrally-planned Relationship Communism way, what you're saying makes sense. But do you really trust your fellow woman to do that? …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 05:16 AM
1

How deep are you digging? Usually when this gets brought up, you have to go through about 20 replies in a chain that has to dispense with all the faulty points about it being "predatory" before anyone has the space to point out what's really going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 05:08 AM
1

I agree and I was thinking about saying this, but I wanted to not make the pill too hard to swallow for men. Turns out I was wrong. Almost no strong male opposition to what I said on principal coming out in this thread. Men just don't seem very offended by this thought. All the offence is coming from women. And that itself is evidence of what you're saying - being the only man to come out and pretend to be just as offended as them is a great opportunity to suck up to them in the hopes of getting…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 05:04 AM
0

Because you seem very hostile and jaded towards men. You literally ran around this thread and posted about 4 different times to warn women about men in general like you were Paul Revere or something. Listen, I'm sure there's a sad story about what happened with a man in your past to make you this way and I sympathize. But just because you need to justify to yourself why it's better to be alone doesn't mean you have to project that outwards. Whatever happened to you isn't gonna happen to every ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:56 AM
2

I think you're right and the subset of young women opposed to age gap relationships usually falls into that camp. I think you're right that there are probably men and older women with the same attitudes, but you never really see them come out of the woodwork to make the same points that young women generally make because they just don't care enough to get involved with this whole discussion. They're the ones that would've seen this thread and not cared enough to click on it. But if you did a sur…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:44 AM
-2

The mystery to me there isn't the rage part, but why your grandpa was okay with you having a same-age boyfriend at 15...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:36 AM
-2

You ever heard of Ismail Ibn Sharif of what is now Morocco? He had a harem of over 500 women and is said to have fathered over 800 children. He was also reportedly a huge dick and did things like killed his own servants for annoying him. I feel like you'd kind of need to be a huge dick to have a harem of 500 women. You know he didn't even know their names. Same story with Genghis Khan. Word has it, not the nicest guy. On down the line. Don't think this historical pattern of huge dick->fathered m…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:04 PM
3

And if the man or woman is only attracted to young people, he or she will leave you when you age. I am not sure why this point always gets missed. To me, it's an odd assumption to think that there are two types of men like that. We have dating app data that shows who everyone likes and messages most by age group. Advertisers have known for a long time that if they need a pretty model to sell a product, it's best to choose someone in her 20s even if the demographic they want to sell to are men in…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:40 PM
2

Yeah, honestly women in their 30s aren't that much less attractive than women in their 20s. It's the desperation brought no by the biological clock ticking and her thinking that doubling down on insisting on relationship/marriage/kids timelines that makes guys burn out quickly and swear off that age group entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:15 PM
3

Still trying to wrap my head around this one, but somehow it seems backwards. Like if you find the square peg doesn't fit in the round hole, instead of using a different peg your solution is to carve out the hole to fit the peg instead. I guess technically that's one solution. But just switching which peg you're trying will get you to the same place much faster and easier, and just flat out seems closer to the intended solution. Likewise, changing the fabric of society so that everyone's values …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 02:09 PM
3

I get your point, but there's no workable way to separate them. Once we draw a line in the sand and say "Okay, this is the line at which we say you're capable to make decisions and responsible for the outcomes of those decisions", then we don't get to step in a second-guess the decisions those people make afterwards. You call out the importance of protecting children, but we also want to protect autonomy and not treat mature adults as children, right? In the case of the 15 year old, it probably …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:40 PM
-1

But I'm too t-t-timid! I need the world's permission before I can work up the courage to go ask a young girl out! Maybe if she knows everyone else approves in advance, then maybe she'll say "yes"! lol /jk Nah, I get your point. And I've dated 25yos at 38. I'm just tired of having to tiptoe and talk around this. Do you have any idea how many times I've had to listen to some guy's not-so-disguised disguised humblebrag about how he's dating a younger girl along with his fake-ass hemming and hawing …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:27 PM
0

Interesting story. Don't disagree with anything here, assuming you're talking about actual children. People in this discussions often extend childhood to be up to 20, 25 or even higher. Leo: Okay Jeffrey: Not okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:18 PM
2

Just based on what I've seen, I think what you're saying is true for a minority of women. I think probably about half are just hard-line opposed to age gaps no matter what or with whom. I know there's a smaller minority that are specifically turned off by men their own age that they see as peers and basically only date older men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:09 PM
-8

Young women tend only to be opposed to age gap relationships if we're talking about their own relationship decisions. These are usually expressed as something like "I wouldn't date someone x year older" and aren't offered as a prescription for what other people in other relationships should or should not do, or statements about age gap relationships in general. Everything you see online where people say things like age gap relationships are immoral in general is not mostly fueled by young women.…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:00 PM
2

Kind of, yeah. But the reality is that it's more complicated than that and more of a mix than women would like. Physical attraction isn't just the tip of the iceberg for nearly any man, and while the scale tips more toward bonding for some and more toward physical attraction for others, the scale's uncomfortably close to balanced for most. There's also a bunch of stuff women tend to ignore like how ready a guy is to settle down, which might influence how picky he is about his girlfriend dependin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:50 PM
3

Did you seriously just google "What grooming tactics?" My dude, you might be woken up tonight by a flashbang thrown into your bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:39 PM
-14

Yet you date the men who are 18-20 just like you because you assume "they must be attracted to me because I'm the same age as them! Not because I'm 18-20." lol I have news for you. Those same creepy men who are old enough to be your father and trying to date 18-20 year olds: when they themselves were 18-20, they were still trying to date 18-20 year olds. And if you'd met them back then, you wouldn't have thought they were gross because you'd assume they were attracted to people their own age. So…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:17 PM
3

I only segmented the set of people that are opposed to age gap relationships. Obviously, each group has people who aren't opposed to it. The women getting into relationships with older men obviously aren't opposed to age gap relationships so they're not the same young women having a reaction of disgust.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:09 PM
1

Hahaha, see? Your response here shows that while validation might not be so important to you, relationship security definitely is. No, I'm not saying such men don't exist. But men who would leave their wives for the secretary also exist. And that's an uncomfortable thought to most women. They'd prefer those kind of men don't exist. They'd prefer physical attraction to just be the tip of the iceberg that becomes less important over time for all men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:06 PM
-1

I'd say validation is a secondary motivation for women. The main driving motivation is that her sense of security in her relationship is threatened. She wants to believe she is with a partner that will become more bonded with her over time emotionally, and that should dwarf physical attraction. She wants to reject the possibility that her partner might leave her because the secretary at his work that's 10 years younger than her starts giving him green lights.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:48 AM
1

It's definitely a subset though. Women tend not to want to date men younger than them overwhelmingly, but only a minority want to go beyond +5yrs or so. For most women, the window shifts as she ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:42 AM
-4

I mean, a man is going to frown at every relationship when it involves his young daughter. He's going to be fighting just as hard to keep teenage boys away from her as he is to keep old men away from her, and he's going to use whatever ammo he can get his hands on - including the age gap thing - to justify why she shouldn't date yet. That's kind of a separate phenomenon, though. I'm talking specifically about a man who is thinking from his own perspective rather than someone else's. Young women …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:38 AM
7

Yep. The "predatory" claims fall apart under even the slightest bit of scrutiny.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:31 AM
–

What the hell? XD Online gender wars needs more women like you lol. You're closing the divide and promoting unity! Reading this, I swear a man could've written it because you've perfectly tuned into the frequency of men on this sub. Also, are you doubling down on your point and saying Bruce counts as a legit option?? Hahaha I didn't have four women competing for me at once like you did with men despite being self-proclaimed "mid". I had 3. That's my lifetime record too. You're right, I did exerc…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:46 AM
–

I mean, you're right that there's a threshold where the juice just isn't worth the squeeze, but I don't know what to tell you. You wanna come look at my matches from when I was dating? I'll show you the woman named "Bruce" with a full on Santa Claus beard that sent me a like. Boy, I really felt like I exercised some choice that day lol There's a reason why threads pop up every day on r/askMenAdvice from 25yo guys dating 50yo women or women with kids. It's because the other alternative they have …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:47 PM
–

The opposite of what women generally want. Objectify us and treat us like you want our body. Don't treat us as a disembodied, genderless floating mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 06:25 PM
2

Why are y'all in denial about this even though men tell you it's what their dating experience is? It's always been bizarre to me. This is the reason why every man is able to pose like he's the King of Pussy and y'all just eat it up even though all the guys are standing around thinking "Yeah, right dude". Ya'll want to believe it's true. My theory is because being chosen by a guy who has no other options except you takes away all the validation from you. You're not really chosen if he didn't have…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 04:13 PM
2

Oh, sweet, summer child. This is what I mean when I say it's cute. Enjoy your platonic female friendships.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 02:53 PM
5

If men are just reacting to input, then they are not really choosing anything. In order to choose anything, you have to have choices in the first place and your choices have to be meaningful. The unfortunate reality is most men do not have much choice in the realm of dating. Most of us go our entire lives and only get any interest from a small handful of women. What that means is that our choices are far more influenced by the random factors that determine who we end up with rather than anything…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 12:42 PM
2

I'd rather be hookup material than relationship material, are you kidding? Relationship: Exclusivity. Dealing with all the bs in her life like her boss and her parents. Compromising on everything so only about half your life is what you want to live. Hookup: No exclusivity - if she's busy one night then just ring up the next girl. No bs. Freedom and independence. Easy and peaceful. Unfortunately, hookups are out of reach for all but the most fortunate of us. So we have no choice but to have a re…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 12:28 PM
1

It's a dangerous gamble because you're fighting against 2 things men very commonly experience at that age: If a guy hasn't had much sex/relationships yet, he both is prone to wander what's out there that he's missing out on and not know what he wants yet so he doesn't know if he's really happiest with this person. This is like 20x risk if she happens to be his first girlfriend or the first girl he's slept with. I know a guy who divorced his first love at 28 because "I didn't want to die having s…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 11:32 AM
7

She says she's had a hard day or has been having a really tough time lately, so now the conversation stops being a normal 50/50 give and take and becomes 100% about you being there listening to her to help her in her tough time. You remember her birthday and get her little gifts when you have no idea when your male friend's birthdays even are. If the conversation thread dies, you proactively pick it back up because you're just that attentive to her - whereas you have some male friends you don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 09:29 AM
2

I tried a 3 months experiment where I added "Not looking for something srs right now, just someone cool to hang out and have fun with" to the end of my dating profile. My matches went from the normal trickle to almost absolute 0. The one women I actually made it out to a date with told me she wanted something serious, meaning she'd made it all the way to the date without reading my profile. The unfortunate reality for all but the most attractive men is that if we're not at least somewhat open to…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 09:19 AM
2

What do you mean by this? Are you saying the same men for whom you erected relationship-only barriers wouldn't have had to deal with that if they happened to meet you at a different time in your life?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 09:11 AM
4

If he's not wearing monk's robes or leading the conversation with whether or not I've heard the good news that Jesus died for my sins, gonna assume that's cope.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 09:04 AM
8

But they never see me sexually, ever. Pretty much this. He's perpetually friendzoned but is so innocent and clueless that he hasn't yet learned that giving women the ability to leech boyfriend-lite vibes from him for free isn't likely to get him anywhere, so he continues to sacrifice his own dignity and waste his time. A man with no self-respect, but at the same time who is child-like and pure. He hasn't yet been made cynical by life experience. Very rarely, these guys get lucky and end up being…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 09:01 AM
4

You women are the ones obsessed with relationships! lol That's what I'm assuming your entire goal is. Is it not?? If your goal isn't a relationship, then why is it a problem if Alex or Trevor pumps and dumps you? The value you're losing by having sex is only value that helps with getting a relationship, commitment, marriage, etc. But if you're not insisting on commitment, exclusivity, or anything long-term, then men don't care about your value in that way. They'll still have sex with you. So if …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 06:29 AM
4

The entire idea of investing in something/someone means that you're willing to sacrifice something you value for them. That's #3. Even though a woman knows that sleeping with a man will permanently decrease her value in the eyes of other men, she chooses to do it anyway because she values him and sees him as worthwhile, so she's willing to sacrifice something of her own value for his sake. This is what men register as "She's willing to invest in me". As much as women would prefer otherwise, men …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 04:36 AM
1

Step one: Legalize prostitution. Make it like any other business like it is here. Not entangled with drugs, human trafficking or anything else illegal/immoral like in the US. Mandatory STD tests every 2 weeks because the business has a reputation of safety to maintain and doesn't want its review score to plummet. Make it so men aren't ashamed of going. Here, you'll sometimes hear a man openly say something like "I just completed a big project at work. I'm going to a prostitute tonight to celebra…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 03:22 AM
1

RP seeks to maximize attraction, dating options, and the number of women that will sleep with you. Relationships are out of scope of RP, but RP does not exclude a relationship as a possibility. Most of the RP content I've seen (eg Todd V) says something along the lines of "If you want to have sex or get a girlfriend...", meaning they at least recognize that a significant fraction of their audience is interested in more than just sex. However, in cases where advice that promotes strengthening bon…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:21 PM
2

Romantic bonding requires attraction as a precondition. RP is all about getting attraction. It's possible that someone who is able to get attraction has bonding issues, but that's outside the scope of RP and not really the field RP is concerned with. RP is just concerned with attraction. Dating and relationships are separate spheres. You can be good at one but bad at the other. There are examples of men who have no shortage of dates but make for terrible relationship partners. RP would be useles…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 04:30 AM
1

You mean other than 100% of the power in the relationship? All relationship power comes from ability and willingness to walk away. Think about how boundaries work. Behind every boundary is the idea of "If this cannot be respected, then I'm leaving". The one who has power in the relationship isn't the one who has more money, life experience, etc. It's the one most able and willing to leave if they aren't getting what they want. And what determines your power to leave? It's the number of other opt…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 04:10 AM
3

I live in Japan. Here, the percent of sexless marriages (one year or more) is almost 50%. It's so common that women have largely begrudgingly accepted their husbands visiting escorts (sometimes with boundaries like "not in the first 1/2/3 years of marriage" etc) because it's seen as a kind of necessary evil to keep families together. She knows that he's not going to develop feelings for an escort, so it's better than him cheating. And it's certainly way better than actually fucking him.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 04:46 AM
2

The desire for sex emerges continuously, spontaneously and strongly in men. If a man experiences no sexual release, after a while it begins to hijack his every thought and he basically becomes helpless within his own mind because he loses the ability to even think or concentrate on anything else. Of course, it's possible to take matters into his own hands and regain focus for a while, but add into that the emotional aspect. That every thought-hijacking is also a reminder of what he doesn't have.…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 04:27 AM
2

This is a great point. When older women are into older men with the vibe of really liking him because he's established and stable and someone she can respect, it feels like she's settling for us and there's almost this feeling of repulsion to it because it's like we can sense that she's not all that attracted in the way we want to feel. Still, he's at the age where he wants to settle down and start a family. Just not with someone giving off signals like that. Younger women are not only more attr…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:54 AM
1

This whole conversation is so stupid. If a man is over the moon because he gets a shot with a hot younger woman, and then an older woman is actually successful in convincing the younger woman that it's a bad idea and she's being judged by others, etc, etc and the younger woman breaks up with the older man as a result, what do you think is going to happen? The older man will suddenly realize the error of his ways and become attracted to the older woman and want to date her instead? No, he's just …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 06:11 AM
8

You are literally agreeing with a comment that says women need more time to establish friendship first before making things sexual while at the same time saying that he needs to establish sexual intent from the start instead of making you believe he wants to be friends first or else you won't be attracted. How do you all not see the obvious contradictions in what you guys say? None of it makes any sense and this is why we ignore womens' dating advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:58 AM
1

Of all the gender wars stuff, this is something I'll 100% cross over to enemy lines on. Even the fastest Minute Man on the planet can still use his mouth. And I have no idea why a man would work so hard for sex just for it to become a one time thing because it becomes an experience she could pass on. There really is no excuse for sucking at sex. Men who are like that are setting themselves up to be someone's relationship guy that she ends up cheating on and then he's raising some other dude's ki…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:44 AM
2

I value the company of my male best friend. He's a fantastic guy. But do you think I'm taking him out for a steak just because he makes me laugh? Do you think I'm treating him to an all expense paid trip together just to hang out? No one pays for just companionship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 07:27 PM
0

You should be getting something out of the sex you're having too. If you're not, why are you fucking that guy? We ain't getting anything out of paying for your steak and bloomin onion.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 07:05 PM
2

If she's sleeping with him and he's being a cheap ass, she has every right to feel ripped off imo. Also, I've had a woman run up at $300 bar bill, getting increasingly flirtatious the more she drank, then as soon as I gave my credit card to pay she seemed to instantly sober up and not 5 minutes later said "I have kind of an early start tomorrow so I really should be getting home". That's not a problem with my game because she came there fully intending not to sleep with anyone. It was premeditat…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 07:00 PM
-4

It's not bad as long as the women are also sleeping with the men that are paying for stuff. It only becomes bad if they string men along to pay for stuff and don't sleep with them. No one wants to pay for a woman to have dinner at a fancy restaurant or to go on a luxury vacation together just for the value of her company. Women tend to overestimate how much men value their personality and underestimate how much men value sex. It also becomes an issue because usually men are expected to pay for s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 06:19 PM
1

Also, for a lot of men to get laid, they have to serve the system in some way so they can get money, which most women have been programmed to be attracted to. So men chase money and material things and put up with all kinds of nonsense just so they can get laid. This is true. Something that baffles me is that almost all women assume that men chase money for the sake of money itself, rather than us chasing money as just a stepping stone for getting pussy. You see this with women who do things lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 05:58 PM
1

I don't understand what you mean. Men don't really do the thing women often do of dating primarily for money, a relationship status, a ring, etc. We don't usually make side objectives into the main objective. I think if a man is trying to sleep with you, that means he's at least somewhat attracted to you. Even the ugliest women have vaginas. It's not what makes a woman attractive. It's more like a necessary condition that has to be met and then everything else is what makes her attractive. I get…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:43 AM
4

This is a great example of the sort of thing I can't really empathize with. If a woman wasn't interested in seriously dating me but just wanted to sleep with me, I would not consider that a lose at all. When I imagine myself in the situation you describe, the feelings I think I'd have are completely different than the feelings you have. That's what makes empathizing between sexes so difficult imo. A lot of the problems women report, if you reversed them, wouldn't be problems for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 04:48 PM
12

Multiple angles here. Do we understand as in - are we aware of what the problems are? Yes, absolutely. Women are far more likely to be open about their dating problems than men are, because women having poor luck in dating doesn't reflect poorly on the woman herself for the most part. (In contrast, men can't complain about having dating problems because that's an admission he's unpopular. He might as well just set himself on fire.) This is why I think the average man is at least AWARE of the ave…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 04:30 PM
1

It's a cliche in media because one of the main purposes of media is fantasy fulfillment. Most people don't believe they are the chosen one and the fate of the world will eventually rest in their hands, we just like thinking about what it would feel like. Same thing with the trope of the model-tier girl with no personality of her own other than loyalty and admiration for you that you get as a prize for fulfilling your difficult mission. Same thing with the harem of girls chasing after you in a wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 06:05 AM
1

Yeah, but the problem is it's impossible. A chad will never simp because he has lots of options so every woman is replaceable to him. Of course men would want model-tier women that are devoted to us. But the difference is we know it's not gonna happen. Women actually seem to believe they can find a chad who'll simp for them out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 05:29 PM
1

they cant obligate women to fuck them This right here is the problem. If she views fucking him as an obligation, why is she continuing to go out on dates with him? Women do this all the time and I don't understand it. If you're not attracted to a particular man, just ghost him and save him the wasted time. For the vast majority of men, a woman that has had her fill of only the most attractive specimens among men but now she's pushing 30 so it's time to set her sights lower to someone she's not r…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 05:21 PM
1

Who is complaining about women not splitting the bill? Do you think we actually care about the cost of half an order of moz sticks? As long as she sleeps with me, she can order $400 worth of drinks and I won't care one bit. But a woman who is on month 2 and insists on paying the whole bill herself for both of us but hasn't slept with me yet is going to get on my nerves. Because at the end of the day, getting my chili fries paid for is not what's motivating me to go on dates. I don't care about t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 10:31 AM
2

Women usually don't start Living Their Best Life Without A Man until they hit their 30s and become jaded. Teens through twenties, they are carefree fucking around with the same small pool of guys. I've never heard a girl in her 20s pull out the "I'm happier without a man!" stuff. She hasn't had time to get burned by chad yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 09:59 AM
2

I want to know how you guessed all that stuff. The set of stuff that seems totally unrelated to me but you bundled it together like I fit some sort of cookie cutter mold. Is this a known thing? I've never even heard of "unc status" before, but that just seems to be a gen z way to call someone old.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 06:17 PM
2

Hahahaha, I like you! You're good, you know that? Alright, well done. You sunk my battleship. Yep, FOMO. Yep, virgin past 30. How did you pull that Derren Brown shit off? I'm seriously too impressed to even be mad over here. You could make a killing if you switched jobs to being a street magician or one of those people that talks to someone's dead relatives. Seriously impressive. So the issue with your Disney World analogy or not getting the toy rocket ship you wanted as a kid is that shit is al…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 02:35 PM
2

And how exactly does this work in practice in your mind? The other woman will almost certainly have the same policy as you. Anyway, if he already has a woman he's sleeping with, he's going to want to spend his time off with her instead of you if all you have to offer is platonically pallin' around. You'll maybe get the leftover time if she's busy. More likely, he'll just stop seeing you whenever the other girl starts sleeping with him because the "What are we?" exclusivity talk is soon to follow…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 06:54 AM
0

It's about level of enthusiasm. It's hard to compare because sex works different for women than pretty much everything else. Having sex the first time is the hard part, but once you've gotten there once it's never difficult to get there the 2nd, 3rd, etc time. Like pushing a boulder up a hill. Once you reach the top, it'll abruptly start rolling from then on downhill under its own power. So being deep in a relationship is like measuring the speed of the boulder after it's been rolling downhill f…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 05:52 AM
1

I'm 99% sure I know where he's going with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 05:33 AM
1

Not gullible. Gullibility is about being convinced logically of something. I'm talking about emotions. Eg something bad happens, the feminine person feels down as a result. Something good happens and they're in a good mood. Their emotions are more affected by things that happen to them, things people do or say, etc. Masculine ppl have a thicker wall between their emotions and the outside world. That makes them more emotionally stable, but less able to experience the possible range of human emoti…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 05:07 AM
4

So to reiterate my original point: poor you. Look at all these problems of your own self-admitted voluntary creation. Please take center stage while everyone gives you their rapt attention so you can complain about how hard it is for you. Perhaps we'll shed a tear on your behalf. Or maybe you just stfu already and people won't find you so insufferable for not even appreciating the position of tremendous privilege you have. Most of us didn't even get to experience what you did. Most of us didn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 04:28 AM
1

That's your interpretation. The typical feminist interpretation of starting with the assumption that women are inferior to men and have a chip on their shoulder and need to prove themselves as equals. Actually both have advantages and downsides. What's so great about being partially disconnected from your own emotions, unable to appreciate the present moment, and spend most of your life miserable because you don't want to give up on some eventual goal out of sheer stubbornness? The whole reason …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:42 AM
1

Yep. Also, women's greatest primal fear is being abandoned while pregnant and left to raise a kid by themselves. That's what they consider the worst state they could conceivably be in. The primal fears of men, 1) not being able to reproduce at all despite your best effort and 2) again not being able to reproduce but also being tricked into raising another person's child for them are not even things that enter their sphere of concern. But mens' fears are objectively worse outcomes in reality than…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:34 AM
–

Then it sounds like you've never experienced the actual friendzone. You've just redefined the word "friendzone" to be something else entirely that doesn't suck.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:25 AM
6

Check out r/deadbedrooms and you'll find a lot of frustrated women who accidentally married borderline asexual men by following this formula. Guess whose most likely to not care about waiting?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:22 AM
5

You're confusing a man who's not a fuckboy with an asexual. They're not the same thing. Even men who want long term relationships or marriage generally care about sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:17 AM
2

You've tagged this with "Debate" and put forward a resolution, but you didn't really offer any arguments to support it. Someone who puts forward the counterargument "No, I don't think so" would be on equal footing with what you've said here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:15 AM
6

But you don't have to give anything in return from the sounds of it. Even in your last example (which seems too specific to be something your imagination hypothetically dreamed up...), you have a woman who is clinging onto you so hard that she refuses to move out even after you broke up with her. But if you already broke up with her and she knows it, then you're free to go sleep with other women (maybe while still even sleeping with her), right? So then the only problem is she's living with you.…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 12:21 AM
4

You already said it yourself. He has no choice except to act like he wants a relationship with you because you've removed the "just sex" option from the table. It's the same with every woman unless he's above a very high attractiveness threshold. How does it feel to hold a man prisoner?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:46 AM
1

She would have to be 70 and have some serious banana boobs. Like I'd ever prefer an alternative version of my life where I saw LESS tits. No way.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:35 AM
8

Wow, poor you. Sounds almost as bad as people coming up to you on the street and trying to give you free money.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 05:40 AM
5

Oh no, she sent me an unsolicited tit pic. I'm so offended. /gasp
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 05:34 AM
38

This. This is why women say they want a nice guy, while at the same time friendzoning almost every nice guy in their lives. What they're really saying is "I wish the sort of guy I am already attracted to was also nice to me as well." Since it's the one thing that's missing for her, it's what she focuses her attention on and the first thing that comes to mind when she gives advice, without realizing the advice she's giving is actually objectively terrible for the actual person she's giving the ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 05:30 AM
4

Okay, then don't take my word for it. Read other replies in this thread. Check other online spaces where men can speak freely. See what the consensus is on who has it better out of boyfriend vs fwb. Lemme know what you find.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:39 AM
4

The guy I care about doesn't agree. He's also interested in not rushing into sex. He wants a relationship too. Are you that dense? That's part of the performance he's continually putting on to create the perfect little love story you want to read. Just because he's not letting you know it doesn't mean it's not taking a toll internally to him. You said yourself the reason he needs to perform as well: Sounds like a loser. I'm not interested in a man who cares only about sex. You really think you l…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 05:00 PM
1

Yeah, that doesn't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:45 PM
3

You know romance novels? They're like 400 pages and the first 380 pages are all the context of how they met, how their relationship got going, all the times they almost got together but then didn't, the building tension, etc, etc, etc and then in the last 20 pages they finally fuck. You care about the whole 400 pages. He only cares about the last 20. There's a reason men watch a 10 minute porn video instead of reading romance novels. Shit is boring. So for the men you supposedly like, you're mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:38 PM
3

How can I get out of the relationship line and into the hookup line? I'd rather be there please.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:27 PM
-1

Building tension is hot in the course of one interaction. If you exceed that and part ways for a time, you're losing arousal and going into blueballs territory. Women regularly make men wait 5+ dates. There's nothing hot about that. She's just telling you she wasn't aroused in the first place so not sleeping with you at the end of the night wasn't as frustrating for her as it was for you. Best to just move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:22 PM
5

I feel bad for the guys you supposedly truly cared about. You treat them worse than the ones you care about.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:11 PM
1

I seriously don't think so. Maybe 1 or 2 on the planet.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:04 PM
2

This is how women think men think but it's not actually how men think. You get penalized for being too easy *with respect to other guys*, never with respect to him. Being very eager to jump into bed with him will only ever win you points.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:01 PM
1

You're still working, right? Gonna go out on a limb and guess that your job requires a huge time commitment. That's the problem with career women. I just broke up with my girlfriend of two years over this. She works as a pharmacist but it just all goes into her account, so why should I care if she has money or not? But she has almost no time due to her job and I'm supposed to deal with it. No way. That's why unemployed women are better. At least they have time to give.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 03:48 PM
0

IMO it's about receptivity. Feminine people have an internal state mostly driven by things that happen to them or the people around them. Stuff can "make them" happy or upset, etc and they use that sort of language to describe it. Emotions often take priority and drive decisions, and they luxuriate in emotion and feel them fully. They spend most of their time living in the present moment. In contrast, masculine people live most of their time in some imagined future. They'll grit their teeth and …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 06:50 AM
2

I'm a millionaire that retired from work forever at age 34 to live off passive income. At best, a woman's job is a +0. At worst, and most commonly it's a negative. I've dated with "unemployed highly welcome" in my profile before. Your point about "high value women" is right, but it's not related to her income at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 06:29 AM
8

Yep. Never be her LTR guy before she proves she's willing to be your FWB girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 06:22 AM
1

Raw lust + connection > just connection. If you say you've only experienced the connection part, the guy will start to worry about the man you haven't met yet that you'll feel raw lust for and also have the potential for connection with. That'll make him want to pass on you. If you have raw lust to start off with, only that is a good foundation to try to build connection on top of. If you lower the bar to just connection, most guys won't be interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 11:05 AM
1

He will hear that as "Her thinking that just means she hasn't had really good sex yet". And if he hears it after you've already had sex with him, then an "Including with me." will be added to the end and he'll start discreetly looking for your replacement since you can't deliver on what he wants in the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 10:56 AM
1

Yeah, I'm talking about neither one of those because those are both sex before commitment. What I'm talking about is women who ask for commitment before sex. Aka "I don't do casual sex", "I only have sex with my boyfriend", etc. These are women I avoid entirely and think any sane man should do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 10:44 AM
4

This is one of the two most important questions men are trying to figure out while dating a woman in order to know whether to take her seriously or not. A woman trying to date a man she doesn't want to fuck is like a man trying to date a woman only because he wants to fuck her. In the same way the latter is a terrible deal for her that she'd never knowingly agree to because she has nothing to gain out of it, the same can be said about the former for him. You should care because he definitely car…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 10:41 AM
5

You said it here: Theres still an amount of getting to know eachother before a hookup happens. Y'all are the sex that isn't capable of deciding in one look whether you want to sleep with someone or not. That's why men have to jump through hoops and pretend it's all about "getting to know someone" they've already decided they want to fuck, sometimes to be disappointed to find out she just sees him as a person. There's a reason friendzoning isn't a thing in gay dating. They decide whether they wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 10:32 AM
6

What pre-relationship bonuses? You mean for example liking talking to him, liking him taking you out, etc? Women take advantage of those things all the time without sleeping with the guy. It's called putting him in the friendzone. Sex is absolutely not required to get attention, dates, etc out of him. Women will only ever sleep with a guy without the promise of a relationship if they're actually attracted to him. Couldnt a woman just sleep with a guy early, and do "maintenance sex" until she get…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:48 AM
1

Yes, but it's exactly the same for women. The desire for love, emotional connection, companionship and all the other things we consider relationship virtues all stem from womens' fear of being left pregnant and abandoned. They're basically wagering that if the guy likes her for reasons other than her looks that he'll stick around and help raise the kid. There's a reason women make such a big deal about wanting to feel emotionally safe but if you ask a man what women do in a relationship to make …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:31 PM
–

He's not scared of losing his wife. After 2 years of sexless marriage, I wouldn't be either. Anything is better than a prison sentence of forced celibacy. I would be scared of the legal ramifications of divorce tho...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:20 PM
6

Just because she won't have casual sex with you doesn't mean she isn't attracted to you. Showing she's willing to hook up with us before a relationship is the only proof we get that she thinks of sex as inheritably worthwhile without all the bonuses attached. After a relationship, there's no way to know that she's not just doing it for the bonuses. So how do you propose we separate the women that are actually attracted to us from those who are doing maintenance sex because they see us as their b…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:05 PM
3

The best approach obviously is ofcourse to be yourself This is the most useless advice. This works only if who you are is already good. If you're already good, you don't need this advice. If you're not good, then it's pointless. Do you really think there's no such thing as a bad state of being for a man in terms of being appealing to women? That a man whose main hobbies are catching snakes in the wild and collecting topless plastic hentai figurines has the same chances as a man whose hobbies are…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 06:49 PM
1

"why do they essentially lock themselves out of the casual sex market by spending their time lying about commitment to women who don't want casual sex and won't have it with them?" What? Do you think men can just go have casual sex whenever we want but like tricking women because it's fun or something? Casual sex isn't consistently available for anyone but the absolute top tier of men. The rest of us are forced to go the relationship route if we want sex, regardless of how much we want (or don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 10:02 AM
0

She pursues sex purely for the sake of sex and no other reward. No commitment or any other side-bonuses on the table for her (at least for a good amount of time) and she doesn't seem in a hurry to reach any particular relationship milestones, etc. Basically I need to feel good that she doesn't have ulterior motives and is just looking at me as a means to give her a relationship status, ring, etc. A few things my current gf did that were green flags were continuing to see me and fuck me even afte…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 07:07 PM
–

You know that guy from college who didn't date and just had a gaming PC and a mattress on the floor? You probably knew a few of those guys. That's the natural state of man. Happiness without chasing money or running on some self-improvement treadmill. Guys don't need hardly anything, basically, and getting more stuff doesn't really bring us joy. The problem with self improvement is that it assumes you're starting out in a less-than-ideal state, but you could be happy with where you are and what …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 07:00 PM
1

It's not a matter of "If men were to...", it's a matter of "If men were capable of...". We can't. Post-nut clarity is a bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:51 PM
1

I'm very independent. I want someone who actually wants to follow me and help me build the thing I want to build. If she goes off and tries to build her own thing, I'm not going to follow her. I'll just leave her and build my thing with or without her. If we're both off by ourselves building our own things, we might as well not even be together at all imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:48 PM
4

A relationship isn't the sought after thing you think it is. Have you noticed that men who want to date go hit the gym rather than attending workshops to become better active listeners or whatever? Men care deeply about how fuckable we are but we don't really care about how good of relationship material we'd make. So then if blue pill is meant to optimize for relationships rather than sex, as you say, what reason would we have to care about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:39 PM
4

Because a hot guy with many options when it comes to women wouldn't give in to being in a relationship with her because it would mean he'd have to give up all other women for just the one. She tries nonetheless when she's young and has her fill of amazing sex but gets frustrated with not getting the commitment she wants. So right when she hits her thirties and alarm bells start sounding in her uterus, she decides she's had enough amazing sex for one lifetime and is ready to hang it up so she can…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:19 PM
8

Lost 100 lbs over 1 year, gym 3x per week for 6 years, switched to contacts from glasses, switched to $80 haircuts from $15 haircuts, whole new wardrobe, spent 6 months compulsively taking photos tweaking various variables and having them rated on rating sites to find the best ones. Spent 6 months attending 1-2 meetups, bars, etc per day. 30 mins of swiping per day. Social skills, I barely got the chance to practice because you have to clear hurdles 1 & 2 to even get to the date. After a shitloa…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 01:15 PM
–

You know who else are people? Those of the same sex. But you don't see accusations of predatory behavior for a heterosexual person wholesale dismissing half the human population without considering what amazing people they might be. Attraction is necessary. If there's no attraction, there's no point.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 12:45 PM
8

No, you're just doing it wrong lol. No man wants to be in a relationship with someone who gives off borderline asexual vibes because he doesn't want a dead bedroom down the line. If you don't show him you're attracted to him early, he'll move on and put in the effort with someone that is attracted to him. The good girl thing is how he wants you to act with respect to other men, not him. Every guy wants a woman that's a slut for him but a prude for every other guy. You being a prude with respect …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 12:37 PM
8

"Yes, but not necessarily one she wants." "The food here is not to my liking", she said but was surprised she found little sympathy from the men who were starving.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:41 PM
1

Couldn't agree less with this. My experience in the world is dating and life in general is that women 99% of the time treat me like a person, and in my opinion that sucks. Am I supposed to feel good when a woman says "You're a really good friend :)" or "You're like the older brother I never had :)" or any other personality-affirming thing she could say that confirms that within her mind I might as well have been taken to the vet and neutered? Women almost always treat me as a person - a disembod…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:09 PM
1

Why does any of this matter if it's just sex? These are all things you think about with the cognitive and rational part of your brain when making relationship decisions and seem completely disconnected from arousal. Arousal is controlled by a much more ancient and deep part of your lizard brain that doesn't understand anything about jobs, ambition, society, the future, or pretty much any thought more complex than "look at dat ass".
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 03:56 AM
2

Despite what many women think, I don't think most men actually want short-term relationships. I would love a long-term, stable FWB - that's like the absolute dream. Who in their right mind would choose a 1-night stand over a 500-night stand?? It's 500x better! I don't think men and women are misaligned on the long-term part. I also think emotional connection is something men want too. It's the insistence on inserting all the other stuff that comes with relationships (exclusivity, commitment, dea…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 07:38 PM
1

I was lucky enough to find one woman eventually who would be a stable, long-term FWB. She caught feelings eventually, of course, but at least she wasn't too pushy about it. Thanks to her, I at least had a golden period of 6 months with 2 girls and what will undoubtably be my lifelong record of 3 at once for 1.5 weeks. Then all the plates crashed down, 2 of the girls left, so I just stopped trying to swim against the current and drifted into a relationship with the one that was left. It's not as …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 07:22 PM
1

Every rejection I've ever had (plenty btw) was pre-sex. All women that have slept with me have never wanted to leave me afterwards. Honest self-appraisal: I'm a pretty bad relationship partner (lack of effort, novelty and variety-seeking...just generally don't care about having a relationship), but at least when it comes to good sex I've got that on lock down. Because that's the bit I actually care about. And as much as y'all make a big deal about relationships and commitment, y'all sure stick a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:47 PM
2

10 hours of time lost to commute time per week sounds like a pretty big sacrifice to me though...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 06:39 PM
3

Generally, women have "casual sex" to have a long-term relationship with the guy; most women don't do ONS, it's not that common. I refuse to believe this is true because if it is, then I'd rather have been born gay. I don't want to be transactionally used by a woman just so she can get the relationship she wants. I'd like to believe sexual desire is at the core of her motivation...Otherwise what's the point in all of this?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 01:45 PM
1

Relationships kind of suck, let's be real. In a relationship, you have to deal with her family, her schedule, her boss. You have to try to fit your lives together even if they're not really a good fit. You have to compromise all the time, which means your freedom, autonomy, choice, and what you want often falls by the wayside. How about the fact that being in a relationship makes you complacent and less ambitious, because now a huge part of your motivation for self-improvement has been removed? …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 01:19 PM
2

I'm a guy and while there are some parts of your tone I'm not a huge fan of, you pretty much got it right. I want to nitpick one of your concluding details: "They cant get casual sex" At one point in time my main goal in dating was to create a rotation of 4-8 women that I could sleep with casually. No relationship bullshit like meeting her parents, dealing with her schedule, etc. If I text her on a given night and she says she's busy or doesn't want to meet, no problem, just text the next girl. …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 10:46 AM
–

men who haven't managed to stop being controlled by their sexual desire are very easy to manipulate from the perspective of women. I don't think most women even begin to understand how powerful a motivator the male sex drive is. They tend to equate it to their own sex drives, and you often hear women saying that they see an attractive stranger that catches their attention randomly maybe once a month or they'll have an intrusive sexual thought maybe once per week. They just don't have the same hu…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:59 AM
0

No argument from me. When I date I'm happy to find out she's a slut because it means we'll almost certainly be having sex. This should have been a "Question for Women" post. I think women are the only people that dislike sluts.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 10:40 AM
1

You seem very dead set on trying to convince people that you're a guy for whom no-strings-attached sex is just an ordinary, everyday occurrence, huh? How about we be real here? Yeah, the reality for me (and most guys, I would bet) is just that. She may say that she's okay with taking things slow, not rushing into things, etc. But this is her calculated response so as to not scare you off by being too overbearing, too quick. Even if she says she's okay with no relationship at first, eventually sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 07:44 PM
2

Wait, what? I don't even understand what you're saying. If he's secretly married and having an affair with the women he's sleeping with, then why wouldn't they want to date him? In their mind, he's single. That's the lie he's telling them, right? In my experience (admittedly, I don't have a partner count in the "mid hundreds" like you claim to), every woman who has ever wanted to sleep with me has also wanted to date me. Every single one. If she doesn't want to date me, or alternatively she dete…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 02:56 PM
2

How do you explain the fairly widespread phenomenon of two people getting married, then the marriage soon turns sexless, and the man stays in it anyway? What is beta husband's motivation there? He's basically guaranteeing a future locked in inceldom forever for himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 02:26 PM
-3

A 23 year old woman dating a 23 year old man is like betting on a horse in a horse race. He might win, but who knows? A 23 year old woman dating a 38 year old man is like being allowed to place your bet after the race is already over and the winner has been announced. Obviously, most 38 year olds will never be chosen because they didn't win. But if you have the chance to place your bet on a sure thing and you instead choose to bet on the 23 year old "maybe", then that's stupid IMO. You're taking…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 01:56 PM
1

I lurk on r/deadbedrooms more often than I should probably. The women who post on there very often fit what you're describing. They talk about how their husbands never kiss or touch them anymore, how they can walk by without a top on and he won't even bother to look, etc just a general lack of feeling desired. But the problem is that these men are not the same ones complaining about a lack of sex online. (In fact, it's usually the wife complaining...) These men have usually lost sexual interest …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 07:08 PM
16

If women started collectively sleeping with men in speedos tomorrow, by this time next week the streets would be full of men in speedos. It's pretty well established that women prefer men in suits because a suit reflects being properly put-together, neatly trim and tidy, attentive and particular about details, in a respectable position in society, and financially well off. While men usually don't care about or even notice these things (like you two seeming to think that a suit is a completely at…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 01:36 PM
1

If you got dealt a shitty deck of cards in terms of dating, then chances are you got dealt an optimal hand in a different aspect of life. Why not focus on the things you're actually good rather than fixating on the things you're really bad at? The problem is dating is something that actually matters but most other things don't actually matter (even though they often feel like they do at the time). At one point in time, I was very good at Dota 2. I went in this giant rabbit hole obsession of play…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 01:49 PM
1

You've come to totally the wrong conclusions about why men behave the way we do. It doesn't have anything to do with validation or feeling special. Men don't want to take sluts seriously as relationship candidates because we don't want to end up on the hook for raising a kid that isn't ours. That's it. Once there's no expectations around serious shit (LTR->marriage ->kids), then we completely stop caring about her being a slut. But taking a woman seriously comes with actual legal obligations, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 09:12 AM
1

Are you saying women dont fuck without wanting kids, dating or marriage? Substitute "a relationship" for "dating" and the answer is yes. Most women are not willing to massively undersell themselves. If they're having sex with a man, they're expecting something else in return. Because if all they're getting out of it is sex, then that's something literally any guy is all too eager to offer.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 06:51 AM
–

Shit, I gotta say, you got me. Didn't date in my late teens or early 20s, late start, fomo, chronically having no idea if the person I'm with is actually good or not due to lack of early dating experience and no real baseline of comparison, oscillating between "maybe she's the best I can hope for?" and "surely there's someone better out there?" on a sometimes daily basis. All true. Basically trying to live my early 20s dating experience in my early 40s instead. Well spotted.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:11 PM
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It's not about cutting and running as quickly as possible to rack up some sort of high score. That's not what I'm saying. If I had it my way, I'd still be hanging out and sleeping with every single ex I've ever been with. It's just that most people insist on exclusivity so carrying on with someone usually means giving up every other opportunity in the world for their sake. 90% of the time, it isn't that they're bad and you want to leave them, it's more like you think there's probably someone out…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 07:11 PM
1

A woman I dated once told me that when she was a little girl her mom give her the advice "You should forgive your husband once for cheating on you. But only once. And only if he's your husband." I think it's a pretty reasonable compromise tbh. You get one. Spend it wisely. I think he'd end up valuing that one time so much that 99% chance he'd never end up spending it. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooAwesomeToUse
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:02 PM
1

From Wikipedia: "The four core tenets to the 4B movement are: no sex with men (Korean: 비섹스; RR: bisekseu), no giving birth (비출산; bichulsan), no dating men (비연애; biyeonae), and no marriage with men (비혼; bihon)." Why would someone even bother to join this movement if they also wanted to casually fuck around? They're giving up stuff that women typically care a lot about (marriage, kids) already, so why wouldn't they give up something that women typically treat as take-it-or-leave-it at best (sex)?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:55 PM
2

Because we go on dating apps and we think we're talking to a person that we could have a chance of actually meeting, but actually she intends only to advertise her Only Fans to us. It's just a waste of time and no one likes ads. The truth is a man will care if a woman is a slut only in his considering her as a relationship candidate or not. If it turns out she's a slut and therefore not a relationship candidate, he's still happy pursuing her because he'll probably at least get to sleep with her.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:31 PM
1

Slut shaming is mostly a thing ya'll do to each other rather than a thing men do to women. Why would a man be upset that a girl he meets is a slut? That means he'll have an easier time sleeping with her => he's happy. Personally, I think men should start prude shaming, but maybe that's just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 02:04 PM
1

No, I would love to be treated as a sex object. I also really like sleeping with sluts. I even wouldn't mind being treated as disposable by her on the condition that I could be reobtained by other women just as easily as I could be disposed of by her. The problem is that's never the case. Women treat sex as this big, important decision and they want to carefully consider all this different stuff from different angles because they see it as a long-term choice every time. To women, there's basical…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:46 PM
-1

Are you saying once per week as someone's main source of sex? That's nowhere near enough. As a supplement maybe.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 07:11 AM
1

a majority of women you want to date in the future will consider this a deal breaker LOL Okay, random story, but one time I was talking to a woman on an earlyish date. We happened to be talking about a part of the city that was known for its red light district and especially sex workers. In the course of that conversation, we both slowly converged on the realization that the other person knew a little bit more than they should about that part of town and what goes on there. For example, she knew…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:58 AM
2

Paying for it is not a sustainable thing for 99.5% of men. That's not an exaggeration either. It's $300 per hour for a prostitute where I live so it would cost you $110,000 if you wanted one hour of sex every day. Most men cannot afford $110,000 per year before any of their living expenses. It's just not a sustainable main source of regular sex for almost all men. The purpose of paying for it is to do things you'd never be able to do IRL. Three/four/etcsomes, 10 women in one night, kinks no one …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:39 AM
5

so it's not as validating as getting sex while being completely open about wanting nothing more than sex. I don't know a single guy who's ever gotten laid by being completely open and honest. Maybe just open or just honest, but never both. There's no way to rephrase "Hey, listen, you're really hot so I'd like to fuck you then move on shortly afterward to fucking other women" so that it'll sound like an acceptable thing to her. That's why pretty much every man is running some variation of "Let's …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:29 AM
2

not really, because not only men needs to impregnate, he also needs to ensure his progeny lives, which means that there is a strategy where they take care of pregnant woman, and then help care for offspring. No, he really doesn't. You're applying very female quality > quantity, high-investment-in-offspring thinking. Do you think Ghenghis Khan cared about the quality of upbringing each of his kids had? He had like a thousand kids. He never met most of them. "There's a thousand of them. Surely som…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 06:35 PM
1

So basically if he has options there is no chance he will value you, that's what those men are saying. This is just straight up true, though. The entire reproductive strategy we call "male" is about doing this. It's why men make millions of sperm cells per day and women release one egg per month. Male as a reproductive strategy is all about quantity over quality, and female is all about quality over quantity. And for the most part, each sex possesses reproductive instincts to match their quantit…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 06:00 PM
1

If most women were demi-sexual, vibrators would not be nearly such a big thing. There is no emotional connection to be had from an inanimate object. It would just feel empty, and a demi-sexual probably wouldn't have the urge to use one in the first place. A demi-sexual is like a car in neutral. Pressing the gas pedal does nothing, but it may move (potentially very quickly) only if an external force is applied. Most women IMO are more like a car with both the gas and brake pedals pressed at the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 05:44 PM
1

I'm sure the people into self-flagellation have skin that's much more resilient than mine. But ultimately, I don't give a shit about attaining the result of having a back full of callouses that can withstand getting whipped because I'm smart enough to avoid situations where my resilience to being whipped becomes important. Not having enough friends has not been a problem for me since 2nd grade. I'm never going to want to endure being friendzoned by anyone just to "preserve the friendship" becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 05:30 AM
1

Classmates and coworkers don't parade around their relationship in front of you. They leave their boyfriend at home, come to work, work, and go home. Maybe they mention it in passing or you see the guy once a year at a Christmas party or something. But a friend will explicitly bring ALL their relationship bullshit to you and plop it right in your lap. They'll complain about him to you, ask for advice, tell you potentially sexual stories about him, etc, etc. And let's not forget that they're goin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 05:06 AM
–

I don't think he's settling for "white rice" at all. Then you're a philly cheesesteak sandwich. Or mouse tracks ice cream. Or whatever his favorite food is. It doesn't matter. The point is that no matter how much you appreciate a good philly cheesesteak sandwich, there's just something different but also clearly good that ice cream offers that the sandwich doesn't and can't. No matter how good you are for him, you can only be one person. And that means you can't give him a full experience of wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 07:01 PM
–

The women you're talking about who are repelled from casual sex with OP. Shouldn't they also be repelled from relationships? But OP said he's getting women interested in relationships but not casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 06:54 PM
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Reading this made me feel so sorry for your husband... You got to live a full and fulfilling life. You got to be free and to do whatever you wanted to do. You got to experience different things and, through that, learn what is right for you and who you are. Then, only when you'd completely had your fill of exploration and adventure, you got to retire to someone you believe to be perfectly loyal and devoted at the end of all that. It sounds great for you. Your husband will die having never gotten…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 06:34 PM
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I don't see why it would be such a good thing to be seen as only deserving of having your body used with no emotional connection rather than someone finding you worthwhile for connection and who genuinely enjoys your company, perspectives, personality, etc. ...You really have no idea what the male dating experience is like. The frustration around being "friendzoned" exists for a reason. I've never felt like there's a shortage of women who find me worthwhile for connection or who genuinely enjoy …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 06:16 PM
–

...If that were true, wouldn't they be even more repelled from a relationship than from casual sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 05:56 PM
2

Just as further evidence of your point, when I read "that is a personality issue" in your post title, I assumed you were blaming men for having a personality problem that was causing them to not feel romantic interest lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 04:55 PM
1

I absolutely adore sluts. I'm always happy to find out a girl is a slut. All it means is I won't be marrying her, but tbh I don't really care about that anyway as a goal in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 04:54 PM
–

Gasping for breath and with torn clothes, the haggard man finally reaches the top of the snowy mountain. There he finds a scrawny, aged man sitting cross-legged in the snow, shirtless and unshivering, deep in meditation. "Oh Great Sage, I have traveled far and overcome many hardships to seek your wisdom. Please, teach me how I might live the best life." Without so much as opening his eyes to acknowledge the newcomer, the Sage answers quickly. "Earn an American salary. Buy a house in the English …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 04:29 PM
1

Fundamentally, women love a dancing monkey. This needs refinement. They don't love a man who is a doorman and isn't assertive. So if she thinks he's dancing for her sake, that's a turnoff. That's why the most important part of the performance is to pretend like he just loves to dance and would do it even if she's not around. The most successful performative guys have kind of hypnotized themselves into believing they are whatever women find attractive, and they actually do it habitually even if n…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 12:53 PM
1

To truly understand it a man has to truly be undesirable with no ability to get quality options, if he can even get any to begin with. Man, I still don't agree with it. Signing yourself up for 18 years of raising someone else's kid? I think with 18 years of his life to burn, an undesirable man would be better off using that time to try to transform himself into a desirable man. Yeah, that carries no guarantee of success, but at least there's a possibility of success. Deciding "I can't get any so…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:29 AM
1

It's bizarre to me. I'd rather just be single than be with a woman I don't want to sleep with. And I'd damn sure rather be single than spend 18 years raising kids I had no part in making. But I guess what would be a court-ordered community service punishment for some might be volunteering for charity for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:33 AM
2

Nope. They are just bonus dads. You must know a lot of people to have found guys like this. Well, the genes that lead to that kind of selfless generosity will be unapologetically wiped from the existence by the next generation since they didn't get to reproduce themselves. I'm sure the dude whose kid they're raising appreciates their service though. Hope he at least sent the step dad an Applebees gift card or something. Adapting is necessary for all things. If men are on their operating systems …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 08:26 PM
2

I know way to many bonus dads to believe that all men find being a step parent "repulsive". Those men already have kids of their own as well That explains why women are staying single. Perhaps those men should update their programming. Men's programming doesn't align with women's programming, therefore it's on men to change, right? lol Literally just hookup a few times before the relationship starts to show the desire is there even if you're not getting all your relationship bonus stuff. That's …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 08:09 PM
3

Men's brains are hardwired to find repulsive the idea of allowing themselves to be put into a situation where there's even the slightest possibility of raising another man's child. When a woman wants a relationship, she is saying "You are the man that I want to spend every day with. The man who I want to raise my child with because I know you'll always care about us and provide for us." This can be good, but only if the woman's child is also the man's child. But it can also be disastrous if you'…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 07:30 PM
2

Every one of the girls I mentioned above have tried to seek a monogamous relationship from me in the past. I can't even get hookups without doing an elaborate relationship avoidance negotiation. I'm certain from her general vibe and history that the woman that called me last week regularly sleeps with guys on the first date, but she made me wait until date 5 because she thought making me wait for sex would make me want a relationship with her more. Almost every woman does that "make him wait for…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 08:39 AM
3

It's a reality. I didn't make it up. I got this from talking to 3 different women (1 IRL, 2 on reddit). I think it's a pretty typical experience for women who go the "Let's just use my youth to have fun and settle down later" route.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 08:27 AM
2

Well, if what you're saying is true and you're one of the rare ones like that guy, then respect. I could switch girls every weekend if I wanted to but (been there done that) but frankly I'd rather play Baldur gates 3 or have a meaningful date with one of my partners. Yeah, I'm over here in my monogamous relationship being lazy and playing Shadows of Doubt myself. It's good in a way. But, this isn't ideal for me. I'd rather be like that guy (and apparently you). I got a text a month ago from a gi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 07:52 AM
3

yes, no chance that she actually liked him, she had to lie and manipulate. You're not getting it. I think she DOES like him. She genuinely loves his above all other men. They might be best friends. He's probably the man that cares about her the most, and vice versa. They're most likely very emotionally connected. He's the man she wants to spend every day with and raise a child together with. These are the reasons she's choosing him as a relationship partner. But what I'm saying is he's probably …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 07:44 AM
3

He's late 20s/early 30s. I think he's having some kind of deeper connections with the two girls I see repeatedly. But it's not stopping him from having new girls every weekend. I could switch girls every weekend if I wanted to Oh, yeah. Me too, man. You and me and every other guy on the planet. I had to install a bar on my door to keep girls from breaking it down to get to me. I'm talking about the one guy I've met whose dating life in reality actually reflects the bullshit that every guy spouts…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 06:17 AM
3

Like half the population (and a disproportionately large amount of guys that are popular with women) are extroverts. Going out, meeting new people, and partying is fun and energizing to them, not tiring. On the flip side, settling into a routine of living the same week and having the same sex over and over again on autopilot is depression-inducing. Some seek novelty and presence in the moment over thoughtless autopilot routine. Some seek challenge and growth over minimizing money and effort spen…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:40 AM
5

Ex-sex workers also generally don't generally have problems finding relationships or marriage. Because even if the phenomenon I'm describing tends to drive men away, if you expose yourself to a large enough amount of men then you'll eventually find an exception or two. But that doesn't mean it's not a real thing. I guarantee in each of those relationships you're describing, the woman has the man convinced that he's the man she'd prefer to be sleeping with over and above all other men (even if th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:22 AM
3

Honestly, while I know dozens of guys who would claim to be completely unconstrained in the world of dating, I can only think of one guy whose actual results in his dating life seemed to match the reputation surrounding him. Chads are rare. That's what makes them the top small percentage of guys. Yeah, that guy switched girls seemingly every weekend. I stopped even trying to learn their names when he'd introduce us because I knew I'd probably never see her again.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:07 AM
5

I think even average women can have basically as much sex with the most attractive members of the opposite sex as they like as long as they don't ask for commitment in return. I think those women that take advantage of this are more likely to experience fantastic sex compared to those women that don't do it. In the first place, I think the range of sexual experience that's possible for women is much larger than for men, so it's pretty likely that a woman with a low n-count has a few sexual encou…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 09:21 PM
1

What makes you think that the guy her age is any less likely to be abusive or coercive? I hate to break it to you, but young men want to sleep with young women just as much as older men do. Actually more because of higher testosterone. I don't understand the common idea that older men have some sort of power over young women. Every age group of men is interested in women in their 20s, so the power to walk away and get with anyone she wants is always hers. Ultimately, all of the difference in thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 05:48 PM
–

God, your whole life story is so obvious from the set of beliefs you've developed. Let me guess: You spent your 20s fucking around with really attractive guys who you didn't need a relationship with because just looking at them made your pussy wet. Still, you were hoping for a relationship anyway but it didn't happen (of course) because why would those guys settle for you? After hooking up with a couple dozen of those guys to be sure, you finally decided to accept it as a pattern. So now you're …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 07:59 PM
1

So you're saying she's more deserving of a relationship if she's a good liar? Some of us would prefer not being lied to.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 06:38 PM
5

They dont give a single fuck about her if she doesnt fuck her as fast as she fucks her hookups. Yes. Why would any man that respects himself be interested in having a relationship with a woman that's not attracted to him? Are you insane? YOU may get a sense of security out of being with your favorite person every day who is emotionally connected to you, is your best friend, and is willing to prioritize and invest in you. But we don't get that. Instead, we maybe get to unknowingly raise the kid o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 06:28 PM
–

Thanks for your perspective. I can't tell you how much I relate to that frustration of just wanting something low stakes and low commitment and the other side starts applying needless pressure and it ruins an otherwise good thing. I'm someone who's always yearned for NSA and had to deal with the other side developing feelings. It's very frustrating to know that there are guys out there given the chance at what I want but they're wasting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 05:26 PM
–

Okay, honest question here - is a guy becoming clingy and pushing for a relationship after sex really a thing? I've only ever heard this from women online. The seemingly universal experience from my male friends is that the "Can we define the relationship?" conversation always comes from the other side. I've never heard a guy express "I'm sleeping with this girl, but I really need to know what we are, you know?". But maybe sometimes some men feel like that but are just afraid to admit to it in f…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 09:31 AM
1

It's not sexual attraction. There's a whole different dimension of attraction that's totally independent from sexual attraction that women feel but men don't. A type of attraction that comes from the amount of investment (resources, attention, consideration, etc) he's willing to put into her over and above other women. This explains the young hot girl you sometimes see cruising around in the sports car of the wrinkly-ass heart surgeon. This explains why women accept dates from pathetic simps the…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 08:57 AM
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This is a hard question to answer because it assumes I know if I want to date a girl before I sleep with her, which is basically never true. Fully half of the information I need to know to decide whether to take her seriously or not comes from sex. But hypothetically, if I somehow knew a woman was good ahead of time, the answer would be no. I try to hide or downplay my boyfriend-like/husband-like qualities at the start. The reason is because dating has taught me that if a woman sees you as boyfr…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 08:28 AM
1

Yeah, no one cares about the sexual history of a bar girl you just intend to sleep with and drop from the start. You ideally want her to be as slutty as possible so you can get your +1 quickly and move on. Guys who are looking for that don't come into it with a mindframe of seriousness. But low body count guys tend to have a scarcity-based mindset of "Oh, god, the first break in my dry spell in 7 years! She better be the one!" so they come in with a mindframe of seriousness from the start. It ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 08:18 AM
1

Why are we bothering to keep the relationship alive if it requires effort and feels like obligation, after we've lost the inherit motivation to maintain it again? Remind me again why this whole thing is worthwhile
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:54 AM
1

I'd be poly if I thought I could get away with it. If you look at the way the most successful men in dating behave (multiple women, commit to no one), you'll see how male nature is when you remove all the constraints.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:47 AM
1

I'm in Japan. You're right that culture probably plays a huge part. There's a practice here of 告白 which is securing commitment before anything romantic is supposed to happen. It's somewhat seen as outdated, with some women abandoning it completely, but most women still would really want to see it before sex in my experience. Also, a lot of women live with their parents well into their 30s until they get married. Thank you for sharing your experience. It's helpful to see the ways things differ.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:26 AM
1

Yeah, we know that women like relationships and commitment. That's why we often get into relationships way earlier than we'd like. But do you think it's fair that the guy should be giving you what you want all the time without you caring about what he wants? He wants to know that you're actually attracted to him. He wants to know that sex with him is inherently pleasurable and worth doing to you even if you're not collecting a bunch of bonus prizes on the side. He wants to know that it's not due…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 06:36 AM
1

Did you have hookups with men you did want to have sex with? Or are you some flavor of asexual and sex just doesn't factor in to why you date?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 06:21 AM
1

This is not one of those things where you just get to say "you're insecure!" and then a bunch of men come rushing in to footstool off me while saying "You're right! One of the things I love most about my girlfriend is that she indulged in a buffet of cock before meeting me" and then eagerly await your pat on the head. The reason is because more or less the entire male gender is in agreement on this. Guys view guys who treat women seriously while tolerating sexual infidelity vibes as being pathet…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 06:01 AM
1

I think if any significant amount of men had a cuckhold kink, being a single mom wouldn't be a dating disadvantage. Doesn't seem to be a thing. Just because he doesn't ask doesn't mean he doesn't care. Asking usually leads to lying anyway. But, yeah, we often stop caring about a girl's sexual history - and sometimes very early on. We classify those women in our mind as "she'll do for now". I do this too. Once I've categorized a girl appropriately, I will be genuinely encouraging and eager to hea…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 05:48 AM
1

She was 25 and had a really nice butt. Why would I walk away from that just because I don't want to marry her? Plus, even while just waiting for sex, she was a lot of fun. She worked as a cabaret club girl for years meaning men would pay for her non-sexual company, so the conversations with her were great (I'm sure given the way she was she probably let it go sexual pretty often tho - even though she insisted she didn't). You're damn close to the bullseye there XD. What actually happened was the…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 04:11 AM
1

That woman in particular would've made a much stronger case for herself if she went straight to bed. She's definitely proof that you get better at what you practice a lot because sex with her was phenomenal - right up until it came to a screeching halt when she showed me that it's actually possible to have kegal muscles so strong they can remove a condom. Having the chance to learn so much more about her before getting to sex only left me all the more horrified when that happened... I get what y…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 09:36 PM
1

Okay, so what if the woman he actually cares about the most friendzoned him? If he never tells his girlfriend she's #2 to him (and he won't) then she'll never know and if they have great chemistry anyway then they will both enjoy it and be happy. How does the fact that he has more fun and better conversations with his best female friend affect her? She can not know, and he can choose her for a multitude of reasons. How do you feel about that? Do you think that the person with whom you're suppose…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 08:42 PM
0

That's exactly why so many men chase virgins or at least low experience women. You're really saying that "low sexual experience" isn't something highly sought after by many men? Or is this just you taking the opportunity to dunk on those guys? In terms of the meat of what you're saying - yeah, I guess. If you ask women themselves, they'll say their loyalty isn't based on sex alone. There are also lots of factors that make cuckholding your husband into a pretty high risk / low reward proposition …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 08:26 PM
2

Hahaha. Good instincts. Best take that shit to your grave. I actually know a girl who told her boyfriend that. She was making a point very similar to yours as the only girl when a bunch of guys were talking about how important sex is (a convo her bf was wisely barely contributing to and it was mostly us other guys). She said something like: "Sex is important, but it isn't everything. I've been with the guy who was a 10/10 for sex. You want to know what we did? Just had sex all day, only stopping…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 07:48 PM
1

I don't really get it, but you seem satisfied with his response so that's great. Does that mean you're gonna go tell your boyfriend/husband what you told me now? Please let me know how he reacts. I'm curious if he's sexually mature/secure or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 07:13 PM
1

Yes, the word "insecure" is the opposite of the word "secure". A lack of security is by definition insecurity. I'm not sure what your point is though. Are you saying a sense of relationship or sexual security is not an important or valid need?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 07:08 PM
0

Because if women were suddenly turned on by handstands, by tomorrow every man would have filthy palms. And they'd be acting like they've always liked walking that way. You're encouraging men to be farther away from the guy you're looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 06:58 PM
1

To a certain extent, what you're saying makes sense. But so much depends on the woman and the circumstances. While a few did this to me, there's one woman in particular who was the worst offender and really cemented in me that I need to be less boyfriend-like on dates. Let me share with you what I learned about her with the extra time she gave me while withholding sex (I had to wait 5 dates) so you'll hopefully see what I mean. She ran away from home at 16 because she'd rather be homeless than b…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 06:35 PM
1

So you're just not thinking about it? Yeah, that tracks tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 06:09 PM
2

Okay first off, good point about pretty privilege (but damn if that doesn't suck anyway). Second... Second, as women almost all of us have been with someone objectively hotter than the person we end up with long term. Someone better in bed, someone smarter, someone buffer but guess what, we are not with that person for a reason. When a woman chooses you she chooses all of you, not just the looks part. When I think of the best I ever had in bed, I would NEVER in a million years want to be in a re…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:43 PM
2

I really appreciate responses like this. This whole thread is restoring my faith that woman-kind is much hornier than I thought. Thank you, and I hope you get many more chances to ride that dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 05:16 PM
1

No, by all means, I'd be more than happy to poop in a cup and serve it up if that's what you guys want. I just want to know WHY you want that. To bring this analogy that's been stretched way too far back to reality - I actually do this. When I go on dates, I actively try to downplay my boyfriend-like or husband-like qualities because I try to control her perception of me so I don't get placed in the relationship box in her mind (because, like the above woman said, I've had the experience of wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:59 PM
2

If you think there's an equal chance for women to be sex offenders and men to be gold diggers, I don't know what to tell ya man. We don't get to start off by saying "I'd like to live in a world of equality" and then try to impose that on reality. We have to start by seeing what's actually true in reality, even if it's unequal or ugly (as it sometimes is).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:45 PM
0

What I'm pointing out is that she's doing something against her own interest. Customers are flocking to the place that's selling poop-flavored lattes and I'm just there scratching my head thinking "Wow, you guys really like drinking shit, huh? Well, okay then..."
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:40 PM
3

I don't think it's a problem of understanding. I think it's a problem of feeling like he's being treated unfairly. The guy in your past got to hook up with you freely but now you're asking more of the new guy simply because you changed your mind and decided you want more from now on. And what's to say this is really about the place you are at in life rather than being about you applying different standards to different guys? Maybe that guy in your past was hotter? There's no way for him to know …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 04:24 PM
0

Link? I find both those things hard to believe
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:43 PM
0

It's ugly, but there's a little grain of truth in that. It's like a spectrum. Sex offenders are on the extreme end, but then back up a little and you have guys who catcall or send unsolicited dick pics. Guys are all gonna fall on that spectrum somewhere and it's completely fair for a man on the low extreme to say "I'm not like a sex offender", but at the same time he still falls on the spectrum. This is why women say things like they need to feel safe around men and then some spectrum low-end gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 03:12 PM
9

Wife material isn't an insult. Because, unlike for women, for men attraction always plays a gigantic role. We're not gonna date someone we're not attracted to, much less marry them. Ya'll are the gender cruising around at 25yo in the passenger seats of a wrinkly-ass 60 year old brain surgeon's sports car. Ain't no way you're attracted to his decrepit ass.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 02:42 PM
4

So to sum it up, you're behaving in a way that's creating a set of incentives that punish men for being the sort of guy you would want to date (assuming he wasn't looking for a relationship right now, etc) and reward them for being the sort of guy you wouldn't want to date?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 02:35 PM
5

No way. I know a guy who slept with a woman who made it to 26 with her virginity intact without being serious about her. IMO that's messed up, and I gave him a ton of shit for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 02:31 PM
1

Prostitution absolutely does hurt average women. I'm originally from a country where prostitution is super stigmatized and illegal and moved to a country where it's safe, legal, well-regulated, and even pretty well-accepted. The amount of power women have in dating here is way less. Women here have to actually care to some extent what men want. Because there's a threshold of bullshit where men will just go "fuck it, I'm tired of dealing with you. I'll just go pay for it." This sounds like a cyni…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 05:10 PM
2

Wait, does this imply you want to be seen as the most attractive woman to him? I thought you wanted to be valued for who you are on the inside, not for something as shallow as being hot?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 04:53 PM
1

The "taint" you're talking about is the possibility of becoming pregnant. The reason this is gender-specific is because, while it's possible for women to become pregnant with each sexual encounter, that's not possible for men to become pregnant no matter how much sex we have. The whole sexual purity thing is just men's expression of the primal fear of being tricked into unknowingly raising another man's child. This is not a worry for women because she knows a child isn't hers because she'll prob…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 09:21 AM
2

I would much rather have a world of polyandry and slut praising (assuming it's also fair in reverse) than the world of monogamy and commitment we have now. Dating would be so much easier then.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 10:09 AM
1

It's so weird to imagine. Like substitute "have sex with" in your paragraph with "eat chocolate chip cookies with". No matter how much you dislike the person you're sharing them with, it won't change the fact that chocolate chip cookies are fucking delicious. If the choice is between sharing them with someone I don't like or having none, of course I'm going to take the option where I get to eat cookies.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 09:47 AM
1

You just defeated your own point. If what you were saying above was true, then every man would individually recognize that his chatbot is a better conversation partner, his jack russel a better snuggler, etc than any woman. There wouldn't be a need to organize. The fact that men who have lots of options with women still choose to pursue women over those alternatives, speaks to their relative value. (I also think that balance may shift in the future as technology becomes better, though.)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 03:06 PM
6

I learned early on that "dating skills" and "relationship skills" are two entirely separate skill sets, and often the thing that helps in one will hurt you in the other (eg lying is rewarded in dating but honesty is rewarded in relationships). This is why some people that are good at relationships will honestly admit that they're terrible at dating. And why some people who have no problems lining up dates can't make a relationship last to save their lives (even if they try).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 12:57 PM
–

Isn't it the same in reverse? I've always assumed that pretty much any woman would leave my normal ass if she got an actual chance for commitment with Chris Pratt or whoever. Things like monkey branching aren't limited to men. Everyone's looking for an upgrade...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 05:11 PM
0

Where are you? I've been looking for you for years and haven't been able to find you. Maybe once. Just to clarify, though, you said you didn't want to see them again? That's different. I'd almost certainly hit up women multiple times. It's possible they might just be dangling a relationship in front of you because they think that's what you want (most women do), when really they just got horny again.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 10:29 AM
2

Gonna be honest, I'm a man and I kind of agree with this...But we're more constrained than you let on: It's hard to keep multiple women going at once. You're either cheating (which I don't do) or you're really scraping for options that don't care about multiple women and jealousy management becomes your full time job. Still kind of worth it, but if you want to focus on anything else in your life or just to relax, it's better to have just 1. And even if you have multiple, there will be one you li…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:27 AM
2

I don't understand what you're saying to improve. Because me and the other guy lost weight and that alone didn't get immediate results. I think you were already doing stuff right before you lost weight and the weight loss was just the last straw. I used photofeeler last year to figure out which pictures work for online dating by having women rate them. Post-weight loss pictures were 3.4/10 (before was like 2). But little stuff like hairstyle, no glasses, camera angle and background, grooming nea…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:11 AM
0

That's not "bad appearance" you're conveying with that, but "non-neediness", which is attractive. Because you're showing that you're relaxed and don't care about what they think. I do the same things when I see a girl who's obviously hot wearing sweats because it's her day to relax. But try doing something that shows you have a more permanent problem, like having no idea what is good style whatsoever instead of just relaxing. Don a pair of autism glasses and put on your dorkiest Garfield shirt. …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 07:46 AM
–

If you’re always pining for other women and novelty, why would you care about being in a relationship or getting married? We really don't by nature, honestly. Look at how the men without constraint live - famous rock musicians or Saudi royalty who don't have to answer to politics. Most men want to live like the guy all the women on dating apps swipe right on. Maybe get married at like 50 or something? But until then, no way. It's just that somewhere along the line we get so beaten down that it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 07:31 AM
11

I also dropped a lot of weight and didn't get much results from it. The truth is simply not being fat is not enough. It was probably the sticking point for the above poster holding him back, but you actually have to get rid of all your appearance problems before you start seeing results. For me, the final thing was switching to contacts and going to an $80 haircut place and told the guy "I have a date tomorrow. Do whatever you want, but make me look good" (I didn't have a date tomorrow lol). The…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 07:10 AM
1

A ladder makes you taller than a man. A gun makes you stronger than a man. You enter into short-term and transactional financially-driven relationships with men where they provide a service to you, then you pay them so you feel fair and square and then cut them off. You've taken careful steps to make sure that men are useless to you at a personal level, so that you could cut men out of your life and be independent. Many women do this sort of thing. It's empowering. Think about how that feels fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 05:58 AM
3

Not trying to be pedantic here, but please, please always make sure to put in the "good looking AND" qualifier beforehand. There's a huge amount of guys who try to be nice guys because women say "I'm so tired of dating assholes! I just want someone who treats me well..." and they forgot to include that qualifier. "Well, I'm a pretty nice guy 🙂", the ugly guy thinks.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 03:24 AM
0

Yep and completely mirrors my experience. The reason men treat sex as the finish line of dating is because it IS the finish line of dating for us. After sex, if you want a relationship or not is completely your choice because the woman will 100% want one (even if she agreed beforehand not to). There's something about sex that makes women into superglue.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 03:11 AM
1

they love having men friends that don’t wanna have sex Ain't that the truth. So then you're bending over backwards giving women all the investment they want for free but then you're having to go bleed yourself dry money-wise to have your needs met. Win/win for them and lose/lose for you. Personally, rather than allowing myself to be used, if I was in a totally powerless situation like that, I'd just withdraw. Porn + parasocial relationships. Or reclaim some actual agency over my life through som…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 01:45 AM
–

On the upside, I could fail with 5 anonymous women, and then get 5 more chances that are probably more successful, eventually getting the point where I know what I want my first dates to look like down to a science. This is a really good point and deserves appreciation (even though I have no shortage of criticisms for the bad aspects of online dating). Online dating really does give you a nearly infinite supply of people that are essentially disposable. Ruin your chances with that girl in your s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 06:33 AM
2

I think the way we define instincts is different. I'd say the fact that your taste receptors giving you a reward in the first place is an instinct. Then we have an emotional regulation layer built on top of that. Then we have a reason-based regulation layer build on top of that. I certainly didn't mean that humans were instinctual only.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 10:02 AM
3

How does most people's preference for the taste of chocolate chip cookies and potato chips over celery and cauliflower fit into your model? Are those emotions?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 09:29 AM
4

I'm saying people aren't composed of one kind of thought. Often your emotions point in a different direction than your reason, or your base instincts points in a different direction than your reason. "I'm on a diet and know I shouldn't, but damn that cake looks good", for example. No matter if you decide to eat it or not eat it, you'll not be 100% satisfied because part of what part of your mind wanted lost out. A guy who has decided firmly he doesn't want kids is still likely to be attracted to…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 05:43 AM
2

Isn't there a disconnect between the cognitive aspect of thinking something like "I can make it in the modern world just fine on my own" vs the more base reproductive instincts everyone is instilled with? You see this play out in, for example, women preferring tall and physically strong guys despite the fact that those traits aren't actually very relevant to thriving in the modern world anymore. I still hear women say things like "It's scary walking across the work parking lot at night". Even th…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 04:44 AM
1

OP was suggesting it as a girlfriend replacement. I don't think most ppl would be happy with once per month in their relationships...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 03:17 AM
3

This is just bad advice from a practical/financial standpoint. 1 hour per day of sex with an escort would cost over $100k US / year (at least here). If you're in the income range where you can throw away that much money on just sex (before, you know, all your actual expenses) then you're at the point where you have better options for sex (gold diggers, sugar relationships, passport bro, etc). It's like renting a car to commute to work every day - there are just more sensible options. Escorts are…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 04:06 PM
1

> Then the girl of your dreams shows up 2 weeks later and you guys hit it off, you are telling me you wouldn’t pursue? OP's claim would be taking issue with this part. He's saying the girl of your dreams wouldn't show up 2 weeks later because it doesn't work like that for men. It would be more like 8 months later. And 8 months is enough time for your dumped gf to have worked through the breakup emotionally, gotten back into dating, and found her guy to replace you with. Meanwhile, you may have f…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:51 PM
2

I get what you're saying and it's true if you're talking about "conventionally attractive" + "your type". But a lot of guys settle for simply a 10/10 in "your type" even if she's like a 4/10 in "conventionally attractive"...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 03:43 PM
2

Based on the way you describe him, I think you're probably safe. I don't know him though, so take it with a grain of salt. I would advise that when you look at the ways he invests in you to see how much he cares, always ask yourself "What is this costing him? What is he sacrificing for me?" Relationship exclusivity costs a lot to some men and a little for others. Paying money for stuff for you costs a lot to some men and a little for others (even at the same price). In order to judge that, you n…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 11:45 AM
1

You're in the dating phase until he actually catches deep feelings. Like I said, lasts years sometimes (in cases where it just doesn't happen but the guy is comfortable basically). BF/GF means less the less options with other women he has (sounds like few here), because if he really believes he isn't giving anyone else up by being exclusive with you, then it becomes a "Why not? I can offer her something she wants and it's not like I'm losing anything" situation. Women seek relationship status li…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 10:09 AM
1

pretty + took an interest isn't bad. It gets you his attention for a while in the dating phase. But if you stay in the dating phase too long, he'll monkey branch to the next girl when a better option comes along, because ultimately in the dating phase there just aren't deep feelings yet. Some guys will stay in the dating phase without moving or developing feelings for 5+ years just because it's comfortable. Your advantage over other girls is you have time to learn what he needs and is important …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/25 09:30 AM
1

This isn't...This isn't how it works though. He doesn't have to choose anyone. Where is his motivation to choose anyone coming from? What makes you think you're a better choice than the sum of all other 49? Hell, what makes you think that ANY one of the 50 is a better choice than the sum of all the other 49? He's just going to buy time until you get fed up with your time being wasted and leave...at which point he'll shrug his shoulders because he has 49 others.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 06:32 PM
1

Your fear doesn't sound so irrational to me..."pretty" + "took an interest" is who most of my friends married.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 06:24 PM
–

Kudos to you for owning up to it! And, yeah, I think it's this generation's Jerry Springer. But at least with Jerry Springer they got the opportunity to sign releases and get paid...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 04:59 PM
–

Even in a hypothetical perfectly isogamous dating env, people dating on their level would still have multiple dating partners and therefore this app would still be useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 04:01 PM
–

The majority of young men below thirty saying they have no dating options may be supporting evidence for hypergamy. The popularity of the Tea app is not supporting evidence for hypergamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:31 PM
–

I think this is a good thing. I live in and date in east asia (not China though) and I appreciate that both men and women don't bullshit each other constantly and, most importantly, don't get offended at hearing what the other side wants like in the west. Do Chinese women get mad when they hear men say something like "I would prefer a woman who is pretty, young, and also not overweight?" Probably not, right? You can't even start to have a conversation unless both sides agree on some very basic a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:28 PM
–

Isn't that like saying the popularity of Google Maps Reviews shows that everyone goes to the same few small number of restaurants, leaving the majority of restaurants without customers?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:24 PM
1

y'all find it difficult to find anyone attractive though
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 05:17 PM
–

A feeling that you're incredibly lucky to be with this person. That the world would be a better place if there were more than one of them. That you're willing to put up with all the bs of child raising even though you don't really want kids just to make that a reality. That fulfilling their needs or making them happy feels exactly the same to you as fulfilling your own needs or trying to make yourself happy. You're not being polite or trying to fulfill some belief of "I'm a nice person" so you d…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 05:13 PM
1

Honestly, can't blame them there. Men are lumpy and hairy and sweaty and gross. Our genitals look like a creature that was fished out of the ocean depths. But if they're not mostly attracted to men, I wish they'd just be honest about it! Don't call yourself straight lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 04:43 PM
–

This post is part of what turns people off blue pill thinking. It conflates "what women find attractive" with "what everyone wants to be anyway", for one. Pretty sure everyone that's grinding away speedrunning video games is operating off some sort of built-in, unconscious male instinct that competency (game skill) and climbing a social status hierarchy (their game's leaderboard) will somehow, someday result in them getting girls. They are "proud of yourself according to your own standars and no…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 11:50 AM
3

Because the odds of a given women being sexually attracted to a given man are very low (something like 1 in 30 in my experience). So if your goal is to get a romantic/sexual partner and you're not really interested in getting a new friend :D like every woman seems to assumes we always are, then you'll end up with 29 new friends for every 1 romantic partner. Most of us don't need or want that many friends. In business there is the idea of fail fast). Basically, you start off by looking into the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 10:24 AM
1

Your example with cancer is really badly chosen and also wrong, I think. I'm pretty sure women would want to date that guy because he's the man that cured cancer and that matters to them. Also, even if he doesn't have status now, she could just tell people he's the guy that cured cancer and he'd get status, so he at least has potential status. Also, she would likely see that as a form of kindness and altruism which women find attractive. It's just not a good example for so many reasons. Here's a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:54 AM
–

I just went to their website to see what this is. All of their promotional materials are positive "Total sweetheart <3", "Golden retriever energy, please proceed with this guy!" They fucking know this is NOT how the app will be used 😂 Who in the world comes out of a relationship that obviously didn't work out and says "You know what, absolutely would recommend that guy to the next girl, lemme make sure to leave a good review..."? lol The app is 99% going to be women shitting all over men
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:30 AM
1

You can be special by sleeping with a woman who is hard to sleep with. You can be special by being the guy who's slept with 500 women. Both things are special. So any woman sleeping with you is always a win imo. Plus, just...You get to have sex! You win!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:21 AM
2

"What's so crazy is you think meaningless sex has high standards when it's just shallow standards." Just "shallow" standards are higher standards! How do you guys not get that? This is literally how all of you behave. You'll get with the guy who's a little bit ugly because he has money and treats you well. You'll say stuff like "Normally I wouldn't go for a guy who's bald or has a bit of a belly, but on my boyfriend, I think it's cute". It's because you guys care about 500 different things and y…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:15 AM
3

It's weird to me because my internal flowchart is this: Does she seem like a slut? -If yes, that's great! You'll probably have sex. You win! -If no... Does it seem like she'll sleep with me anyway? -If yes, that's great! You'll probably have sex. Maybe a relationship, who knows, whatever, but point is You Win! -If no, well this was a waste of my time...You lose. I don't really understand where male anger toward sluts comes from. I've literally never had a bad encounter with a slut. They're usual…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 08:48 AM
0

In your experience who does it come from more, men or other women?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:30 AM
8

Straight women are basically asexual by male standards. When I commute to work, I'll see 40 women I'm attracted to. But women can go months without seeing a man that grabs their attention as attractive. It's due to hormones, mostly, with testosterone mostly driving lust and being much higher in men than women. It means in practice that women need a much stronger lust signal to feel attraction. Can you remember what it was like to be a little boy before puberty? Every time you passed a hot girl o…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:14 AM
1

The internet gives a platform for complaining about dating in a way that's anonymous. Letting it be known publicly that you are trying really hard at dating and getting no results is probably the most surefire way to guarantee you'll continue to get no results. The anonymity of the internet gave a way for incels to vent frustration that was safe from backfiring on them in the same way complaining IRL would. The fact that dating apps arose at the same time is just because dating apps also were fu…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 05:21 AM
1

> I asked her to go out and she referred to it as a date, I never once called it that myself, which I think is a good sign. Oh my god, dude. If you're meeting on a dating app, it should generally be assumed that real life meetings are dates. If you go in and she's not treating it as a date, then you have every right to be upset because she's wasting your time. (Some women actually do this, so you need to develop this bullshit filter) Your post is dripping with "This might be my one shot and I do…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 04:53 AM
3

> If you want milk get out there and ask for milk. This is crap advice from a practical standpoint for most guys. Half of the stuff women are attracted to, they're attracted to in a completely different way than sexual attraction. There's like this whole dimension of attraction women feel around things like a guy investing in her, seeming stable, having money, etc that appeals to her in a stability/security kind of way rather than raw lust. So a guy that's strong enough in those things to get to…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 04:31 AM
2

If you hold sex hostage behind commitment, I'm going to view you as an adversary. You're the person on the other side of the negotiating table, trying to use something you know I want as leverage against me to get what you want. This is a bad relationship signal because you're 1) uncooperative and 2) mismatched values (you care more about empty commitment than passion). Once you treat me like an adversary, I'm going to treat you like an adversary. It's no longer about me deciding if you're a gir…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 04:16 AM
2

> i hope you don’t end up just sticking around out of complacency, or to appease her Oof. Felt that one. I think you were going for a zinger when you originally said "the fact that you even feel the need to analyze sex to this level is really telling of how much sex you are actually having." but you missed the mark. Then I turned around and handed you exactly what you needed to hit the bullseye lol She's just been really good to me, and I want to treat her well in return. But, yeah, maybe buryin…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 06:25 AM
1

Yeah, my emotional needs are low. I'm mostly just looking for good sex + likes the same stuff I do. She's the same though - hasn't been in relationships most of her life because she just didn't feel the need for one. Since we both have low needs, we don't place upon each other the expectation for the other person to meet any needs - which is the normal source of tension/conflict and failed relationship for both of us in the past. It's comfortable, easy, and feels very compatible. The one thing i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 04:52 AM
1

> There is a newness/exploratory excitement that is lacking but that excitement is far outweighed by the raw lust of wanting to re-impregnate a fantastic wife and mother. You use the word "lust" here. Is it really lust? Is it coming from the deepest, most ancient, and animistic part of your brain that knows no reason? The same part that sees a nicely-shaped ass and yells "Oh, fuck yeah! I want that!"? Or does it come from the part of your brain that does things like remember you have a doctor's …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 04:25 AM
1

Last year I was having sex with the same person I am now, but more like 3x per month instead of 3x-4x per week. I was also sleeping with 2 other women at the same time, but it was very sporadic. The total amount of sex I was having was less, but I was happier with my sex life. I wasn't obsessing over it, for one. But the best sex was with the person I'm with now (It wasn't even close for the other 2). I thought having a relationship with the best of the 3 and, with it, the chance to do it more o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 04:11 AM
1

Hi ChatGPT
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 03:58 AM
2

Because we don't control luck. And we don't know when good chances will come again. I mentioned the Subway girl because that's what he's left with now. He also once told me "I've been video chatting with this woman in the Philippines" once. I'm in a similar situation. After moving to a new place, I went on tinder intending to get my fucking around out of me. Immediately met the relationship material girl. Who you meet and in what order is just luck. I would've preferred to meet her as woman #20 …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 03:27 AM
1

I don't know your husband and can't speak for him. But I'm in a relationship with one woman at 3x-4x per week coming off an open situation with 3 women last year that used to have much more and I was much happier. 3x-4x per week leaves me sitting around waiting, obsessing over sex, analyzing why I'm not satisfied with what I'm not getting, and writing big posts like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 03:14 AM
2

Because it's not "decisions you made in the past". It's a decision that's always available to be made. You're right that if the decision were taken away then you can just be sad for a bit, then say "Well, can't be helped now" and move past it. But my old neighbor divorced his first girlfriend and high school sweetheart because "I haven't fucked enough women". He couldn't get that nagging doubt out of his head in 6 years of marriage. Last I checked, he's 46 and hitting on the girl working at Subw…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:35 PM
0

I have no idea how this "Effort isn't needed for sex you'll have once" thing spread. The only girls you have sex with once and intend to do that from the beginning are the frogs - which is actually pretty rare because most women put at least some effort into their appearance. If a girl sleeps with you once, she'll 99% sleep with you again. And I'm pretty sure most guys would rather have a girl he could hit up again if he wants rather than a ONS and then restart from zero yet again. In fact, "ONS…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:26 PM
1

4x per week now or so. But only with one person. When I'm stuck in a relationship and unable to go out or do anything, I stew and obsess over sex whenever I'm not having it because she's busy. Ironically, when I'm single and actually having less sex, I obsess less because I at least feel the freedom to be able to go try for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:17 PM
-1

Oh, they're absolutely unhappy - but it's on both sides. The golden retrievers wonder what could have been (with the exception of those with a highly successful fucking around phase - which is difficult to tell because men will often lie about their past success). The ones who pulled the trigger and put relationships on hold to pursue their fucking around phase but aren't finding success often remain stuck there - unable to sufficiently prove themselves to themselves and move past it. It's a "ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:06 PM
2

You're not complaining right! A properly table-turned (not flipped - that would mean you're angry) "Do you guys know how hard dating is for women" thread would would be you informing us of how hard it is. But actually, what you're doing here is trying to collect delusions so you can silently chuckle without giving any information up that might make you look lame. We at least have the courage to admit we're lame when we complain! At least tell us if the guesses are right or wrong. What do you wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 05:01 PM
1

> But I think that says more about how dysfunctional relationships are now. And not how much beter having sex outside a relationship is. When people still try a lot and want to serve and have a lot of passion. And have to really earn the love and care. What you're describing is the key feature of a relationship, commitment, working as intended so I wouldn't say it's dysfunctional. The whole point of commitment is that you're not meant to leave if things get bad in a low key, minor way. That's wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:52 PM
-1

When you start with a new partner, the possibility space is vast. You're probably going to do something she doesn't like the first 1-2 times and feel a bit awkward or embarrassed - and the space will shrink a bit. Okay, that place is definitely 100% off limits. But that's fine, there's still a lot of room to play here. She goes somewhere you don't want her to go and you're just like "Yeah, sorry not into that". Shrinks a bit more. This process keeps repeating until you arrive at the stuff you bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:47 PM
-1

> Also, and this might be deviating from the point, but being single and dating takes up a tremendous amount of emotional and mental bandwidth Oh abso-fucking-lutely. This is part of what I meant by many men making a conscious trade-off. Relationships are so much easier. They're usually the place I go when I want a break from constantly swimming against the current. > I’ve seen the birth, life and death of passion and love. I’m actually in a position where it’s hard to convince me that’s not ine…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:34 PM
-1

Lust is just another way of saying "wanting sex", which is what I'm saying makes sex good. The comfortable familiarity sex I would describe as kind of boring tbh. What no one here has been able to answer is, if sex is better as connection increases, then why is frequency of sex at its peak when you first get together and married couples that haven't seen each other naked in the past 3 years the material fodder of every comedian?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:29 PM
1

The difference in sex between the honeymoon period and deep into marriage I think are largely explained by the factors I described (though mother nature plays a part too). If what people are saying about intimacy increasing with emotional connection were true, you'd expect the opposite of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:24 PM
3

XD I just agreed condoms suck. I didn't say you should take them off! lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:12 PM
1

Which, in turn, causes you to want to have sex with her more. Sex that we don't want is sex that we don't have.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:11 PM
0

If you get into evolutionary psychology, there's a lot to get into. The problem with it is that "men and women are just different" type arguments tend not to be relatable to women in the same way something like this hopefully would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:09 PM
1

You're giving the answer that has the not-so-subtle subtext of "Unlike this guy, I am non-needy, non-desperate, and don't need external validation". This is the sort of answer most men would give IRL while also simultaneously behaving in the way that is needy, desperate, and craves external validation. There's no point in trying to springboard off me to make yourself seem more attractive. We're anonymous and on the internet. There's no one to impress here. Let's instead have an honest and candid…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:00 PM
0

Okay, I'm sorry. Your experience is valuable in certain contexts, but this would not be one of them lol You are in a completely different universe than what I'm describing here. There's no such thing as managing scarcity or having to work for sex in the gay community. 😂 You have the benefit of sleeping only with people that are on the same page as you rather than trying to adjust yourself to someone with wants and needs that are kind of alien to your own. To borrow the words of a female responde…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 03:45 PM
1

What do you think about most people's experience of most relationships being wild, passionate sex multiple times per day during the honeymoon phase at the beginning and then it tapering off over time, becoming sparse or becoming completely dead post-marriage? Wouldn't you expect the opposite?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 03:39 PM
2

Interesting response. So you know the four points I used for how to make someone want something came from marketing in general and apply to literally anything a person might want, right? It's interesting that apparently the principles that advertisers use to motivate people to buy products and game companies invest real dollars in to make players want to play their games apparently don't work on you, but I'd think companies wouldn't use these unless they worked on a majority of people...I, for o…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 03:25 PM
1

I qualified what you're talking about in the difference between her choices to expose herself to more male attention vs his. Let's test your theory, shall we? Let's say you're dating a girl that you think is drop dead sexy. All of your friends give you a look like there's something wrong with her and comments like "I mean, if that's your thing man, more power to you..." You're not going to have a reaction like "Wait...Wait, what am I missing??"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 02:59 PM
1

> Ideally, by the time you're in a relationship you're already aware of your value. You know what caliber of women can you pull, how often, how desirable you're in general, etc. Are you assuming that all men have a fucking around period before they get into their first relationship? That is incredibly not true. I'd say a relationship is the default for most men from the start for lots of reasons. First, it's what you're "supposed" to do, so it's the clueless default. Secondly, it's much harder t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 02:56 PM
3

> Or are you trying to argue that most men are? Not that they are. That they'd prefer to be. Even if they don't say it out loud (because they know it would hurt them based on what has worked well in the past). Very few men are such golden retrievers that that they sleep with one woman and think "Well, I guess you must be the very best person for me. Boy, am I lucky that I found you first try." They will be harboring the secret desire of wanting many women to choose from and being able to pick th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 02:45 PM
-5

Alright, very good point on condoms. The guessing is only the first 1-2 times.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 01:52 PM
-1

This is the tradeoff many men make. Giving up a fulfilling sex life to pursue other goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 01:51 PM
-3

I've had this. The usual pattern is sex kind of sucks on a purely technical level the first 1-2 times, then gets better technically as you learn what each other like. The thing I'm saying is that the reduction in the other factors completely outweighs what you get from a partner who knows what you like.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 01:50 PM
2

There is almost nothing a woman could say to me that will disqualify her faster as a marriage/relationship/dating partner than "Sorry, but I don't want to sleep with you". I'm not interested in being in a relationship where I'm being used. I have standards and respect for myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 04:11 AM
2

You're 23? lol No wonder you feel that way. Right now the guys you find physically attractive are the same guys you find mentally attractive. You're in that tiny window. When I was 23, I didn't understand old men who hit on young girls and thought it was creepy too. I felt attracted to the women around my age group and thought that was normal and when I was 40 I'd probably still find women around my age group attractive. It's only as I got older that I realized that shit wasn't moving. I wonder …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 06:17 AM
2

Based on your judgemental tone, I'm gonna go head and assume that means you wouldn't be into dating young guys as an old lady. Meaning it's an individual thing for women rather than universal like with guys. That tracks, because when women in my life have said of younger guys "I wouldn't date him - he's a baby" for a guy like 3 years younger than them, I swear it felt genuine. I guess it was.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 04:44 AM
1

I think what you're saying makes sense on paper but it's very difficult/almost impossible in practice unless she's not attractive. If a woman is a man's friend, he's going to know her personality pretty well and like her (if he didn't like her personality, then why would he want to be friends?) So assuming she also has a good body on top of a personality he likes, she's already gained enough points in terms of what he cares about to be something more than friends with him. The idea that a man ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 04:31 AM
0

> Men and women are not the same and don’t value sex the same. Yep. But you're gonna get bad outcomes if all you care about is making sure your own needs are fulfilled. Ideally, you should care about giving the dude showering you with money the feelings he wants to have too. Then he'll keep wanting to shower you. > What incentive do women have to lust after men? An internal sex drive, I would hope. But failing that, a recognition that mens' entire sense of security while with a woman comes from …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 08:48 PM
0

Good dad
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 08:36 PM
1

It's not the same due to the asymmetry between how men and women work. I'm a man so I wouldn't feed off the boyfriend energy of a gay friend in the same way women do. So that means that the gay friend wouldn't feel used in the first place because, although he's not getting sex from me, I'm also not getting anything romantically/sexually I need from him. It's fair. But when you're a guy heavily investing in a female friend who's not sleeping with you, you feel used by her. You're giving her all t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 08:21 PM
-1

I don't believe you guys actually find money sexy. I think you like money because it signals investment and security. A woman who finds a man sexy treats him completely different than a woman who thinks a man is husband material or just wants the lifestyle ride. I lead with my wallet for a long time and more often than not, it lead to women trying to leverage sex against me to get a relationship. I had a woman who admitted to me she's lost count of the # of men she's slept with and probably has …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 07:49 PM
1

Hang on, honest question: do older women actually like young guys? I thought that was 100% a guy thing. You often hear women say they wouldn't want a guy younger than her because he's inexperienced. Is that BS like when guys say "I wouldn't date her. She's too young"?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 07:37 PM
2

> I personally don't believe men like to hear about other guys at all no matter if context is actually favorable to them This depends on the guy. Definitely not true for me. To give an example related to the whole virgin/relationship security thing, girl I'm with now told me I'm the first good sex she's had. She said all guys before her just hurt. If that's true (and I think it is), then in her mind, leaving me is leaving the only guy she's ever known that can make her feel good and returning to…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 02:04 PM
5

> Even if there was a woman who actually had lot of sex probably most of it wasn't that spectacular and you have the advantage of having all the time in the world to figure out how to make it good for both of you, if it's long time commitment. True. But the more sex you have, the more likely you are to encounter that really spectacular sex that trumps anything your relationship partner could deliver on. And acting like sex is 100% something that can be improved upon through effort and communicat…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 12:00 PM
4

> You want a virgin? Then don’t go around fucking multiple women. Yes, because we all know how much power male virgins have in the world of dating. What are you talking about? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 11:41 AM
11

If you say "I want a feeling of security in a relationship", then that is fear and insecurity by definition. But I don't think most people consider that a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 11:37 AM
–

Okay, ngl, when I first saw that pic it looked like some deranged Pepe Silvia whiteboard nonsense, but when I went to watch the video it actually makes 100% sense. I've always been in either the friend zone or husband zone. This was totally worth making this thread and getting shit on lol. Thanks. Edit: So if I understand this correctly, I'm thinking about this whole thing wrong. The thing that's holding me back is a lack of bad boy traits, not the presence of good guy traits. (Does that imply s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 10:05 AM
–

I don't believe this. I think women have a sex drive. I think it's possible for a woman to seek a casual sexual encounter with a man and not come away from it feeling used. I have seen this situation unfold with other people, again and again. I once met a woman and talked to her for like 14 hours total. She admitted to me that she goes to the club every weekend to sleep with a new hot guy. She showed me pictures of some of the guys she slept with and had me play "big dick or tiny dick". I invite…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 09:46 AM
–

Well, an unfortunate reality of dating is that we don't always get what we want. Sometimes you have to compromise or lower your standards if they're too high. And it's not as if I'm a total brick wall. Some women have gotten relationships out of me in the past. So "lets see where it goes" seems fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 09:09 AM
–

"Let's see where it goes" policy
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 08:45 AM
–

Are women looking for fun and relationships in a general sense or are they looking at individual men and saying "he looks fun" or "I'd want a relationship with him"?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 08:44 AM
–

> Being relationship material does not stop women from wanting to have sex with you, if you are ALSO sexually attractive and not just relationship material. Perfectly put. This is exactly my fear. I deeply suspect that not everything that women find genuinely attractive is attractive because its sexy. Like money. I don't think a man having a lot of money makes women want to sleep with him more. I think money is attractive to women, but in a way that's not sexy. My worry is that everything about …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 08:35 AM
–

While you're right that I should leave earlier, everything you said about me applies to those women too. The reason they kept meeting me is because they hoped that me spending more time together would make me want a relationship with them more. So she was trying to wear me down too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 07:37 AM
–

So something that's definitely making it harder but out of scope for this thread is that I do live in a place where the normal culture is commitment first. But that said, I know plenty of people here that don't date like that and just ignore it. Still, I once went out with a girl that had a previous work history including bars, nightclubs, and "message parlors", who admitted to losing count with the # of guys she's slept with, who said she thinks she has a testosterone imbalance because she thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 07:30 AM
–

It is exhausting. > Are you not capable of using your mouth to make it clear the type of relationship you’re looking for? Let me reiterate: > Every woman I've ever been interested in has either categorized me as 1) not interested beyond platonic, or 2) relationship material. I've tried being up front. Hell, I've tried a 3 month experiment of putting it in the bio of my dating profile. The result is that everyone just vanishes. Women only seem to belong to those 2 types (for me) for whatever reas…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 06:59 AM
0

How can you not understand this? You're a guy, right? Have you never felt the sense of excitement at getting closer to a woman you're physically attracted to while not knowing exactly where it'll lead or if it'll work out? Okay, let's break it down to 3 cases to make it clear: Chance to deepen the relationship and get closer to a male friend - No, that's okay. I'll pass. I like the sense of distance between us in this relationship to remain where it is. It would feel uncomfortable and weird to f…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 04:58 PM
-1

It's usually kinder to pretend not to notice they're struggling so you don't make them feel weak and to try to cheer them up more indirectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 04:17 PM
-1

It's not objectifying because a boyfriend energy relationship is deeper than normal friendship, not shallower. The standard for friendship can be as low as "I need someone else to play Tekken with" lol The danger OP is talking about is investing in a boyfriend energy relationship, which is both way more investment but also more rewarding than a regular friendship. The amount of investment required means that, unlike friendship, you can't have many of these going at a time (probably only 1). So i…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 04:04 PM
1

I mean you definitely do things to try to cheer them up, but not in the same ways. You do something like take them somewhere fun to take their mind off it. Put in Smash Bros and play into the night. Something like that. Boyfriend energy is like "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 08:27 AM
–

"You know what I like about you most, sweety? The whole." "Hey, where are you going?! There was a 'w' at the beginning!!"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 06:09 AM
1

> I hear a lot of women complain about “during” relationship, where they commit more household and emotional labour than their partner. This is because of the bizarre way women set their standards at different points. In general, women have massively high and almost impossible to meet standards for getting together in the first place. But once in a relationship, women will generally not leave unless things are really, really bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 06:04 AM
3

> They just want men similar to them in goals/values. This is something I've wondered a lot. Men basically have no choice but to try hard in things like career, money, ambition, status, lifestyle, etc if we want to be attractive to the opposite sex. But like you said, we don't actually want to be doing this for the most part. If you look at how every college aged guy who wasn't dating lived, it was mattress on the floor, gaming PC on milk crates, eating cold pizza over the sink. That's man's nat…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 05:42 AM
2

The "bad boy" is the guy who is good for sex but not a relationship. This is where most men want to be most of the time, so it's usually men who aspire to become that. If you're the guy who is good for a relationship in her mind, then she will try to get a relationship out of you. She will do things like try to make herself seem more like serious relationship material by making sex harder to get. She will drive for commitment harder. There's a high chance she won't sleep with you unless she feel…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 05:32 AM
2

I'm fairly convinced that women are aware that most of their long-time male friends secretly or openly have a thing for them and are happy to just string them along. In most womens' mind, the romantic rejection itself (if he openly asked her) absolves her of any culpability and it becomes his fault for staying in the friendship where he's hoping to eventually have a shot with her. And yet watch her complain when she eventually gets a boyfriend and suddenly 80% of her male "friends" disappear. In…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 05:23 AM
0

> If you only are friends with women you are willing to have sex with, are you sure you aren’t just objectifying people you claim to care about? That's not what he's talking about. I have a female friend that's an actual friend in the same way my guy friends are friends. She looks like a walrus so I'm not attracted to her at all. But it doesn't matter because we're just friends. That means I don't go way out of my way for her. There are weeks where I completely ignore her and don't talk to her u…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 04:50 AM
–

A lot of these responses make it seem like womens' standards for a LTR are higher than their standards for a hookup. But my entire life can be described as me being relationship-zoned over and over by women while struggling to find a hookup. And I think this is an extremely common experience for men. If your standards are higher for a LTR, how do you explain this? I'm just not loud enough? What can I do to avoid being seen as relationship material without also ruining your desire to sleep with m…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 01:15 PM
1

So now it's my preference to pay for sex transactionally? lol I just finished telling you over several messages that I don't particularly like paying for things for women and I get nothing out of it. It's not my preference. You guys are the ones who very clearly send men the message over the course of our lives that "I would feel more comfortable sleeping with you if you have money and are eager to use it for my benefit". This isn't men trying to force you into a system where we're paying for se…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 03:33 AM
1

Thank you for explaining in more detail. It makes sense now. But I still think it's unrealistic. To the extent that he likes sex, he will be disappointed when you age out of your looks and he can't get it up anymore (assuming your looks fade before his dick stops working). When he finds an old picture of you when you were younger, he'll definitely think "those were the days". Your value will decrease to him, at least somewhat, unless he's asexual. That's the reality of aging.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 03:03 AM
1

No, you can go ahead and assume your libidos are similar. A 1/10th desire situation might be that you both want sex at a similar frequency, but for every 1 time he comes to you for sex, he prefers to go jerk off to porn 9 times and leaves you to kind of sexually fend for yourself. These sorts of stories are common on r/deadbedrooms. Desire is basically how highly you rank to him as the ideal way to channel his libido, and it's different from a libido mismatch situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 02:55 AM
0

What the...? I have friends, including male friends, who I absolutely love to spend time with (obviously non-sexually). Maybe on occasion or whatever, but do you think I make a habit of regularly paying for their meals as a way to earn time with them? Can you imagine if a guy friend said to me "I'll only hang out with you if you pay for my dinner"? What kind of weird world do you live in where it's normal to pay for platonic time together with someone just so you can enjoy their company? Paying …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 07:33 PM
1

Even though there are ways you can come up with a percentage, you don't have to think about it that way. Here are other ways you can think about it: -How willing are you to get close to putting up with a dead bedroom? Would you be okay with a partner that has 1/5th the desire for you that you have for him? What about 1/10th? -On the other end of the spectrum, if there was particularly nothing wrong in your relationship but your partner had 5x or 10x the desire for you as you for him, would that …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 07:01 PM
1

Yes, exactly. Thank you. The entire point of spelling out what 100% and 0% look like is to show both are clearly not right. But women often talk in terms of those two only.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:53 PM
1

As in, "this is the way you would want to be treated"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:33 PM
1

I feel like my mind is tying itself in knots just trying to understand this. Part of your value is how attractive you are to him, right? That's what drives his desire. If that doesn't exist in full or in part, then he necessarily won't desire you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:27 PM
0

In the case of a man only valuing you for sex, you're still getting half of what you want (the sexual stuff). In the case of a woman valuing me for money, I am getting nothing that I want. To make the ATM analogy make sense, you'd need to be asexual and only be having sex purely for his sake in the hopes that he'll later listen to your jokes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:24 PM
0

I don't understand the men-as-an-ATM analogy women in this thread keep bringing up. The two things aren't alike at all because sex is supposed to be enjoyable to both people but buying expensive stuff as a gift is purely for her benefit. To apply this thread's question to that analogy, I'd prefer to be valued not at all for money, and if I had the money equivalent of a r/deadbedrooms situation where my girlfriend stopped seeing me as a wallet completely, I wouldn't complain about it at all. Obvi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:04 PM
-1

Everyone seems to be taking this topic as an opportunity to explain how female sexuality works. Is that what this is about?? You're basically looking for the guy that knows how to turn you on without it feeling like an obligation? I thought wanting to feel valued for things other than sex was about a sense of security. The guy who values you for sex is bad because he will presumably leave you when your looks fade, but the guy who likes you for you will presumably stay with you til you're an old …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 02:52 PM
0

I mean, if it were 10,000 years ago you'd have a great point, but men's size advantage doesn't actually count for much because we now have invented things like technology, society, and culture than can be used to mitigate it. Carry a taser, tell your friends where you're going, and if there's trouble then call the police and men with guns will show up to save you then lock the brutish caveman in a cage. That's the world we live in now. There are no ways to mitigate the problems men face like tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 12:50 PM
9

If you think that having to pay for a date even registers as a ping on the radar of problems men face, you're totally out of touch. It takes the average man a year to accumulate the same amount of options to vet that the average woman can accumulate in a day on an online dating platform. And while women endlessly complain about how difficult it is to get a guy to care about them for any reason other than sex, since most straight women are basically asexual with respect to 95% of men, we also hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 12:31 PM
26

> Women don’t have it easier in my estimation. The hurdles they deal with in dating are different though. Women absolutely have it easier. With only a couple exceptions that are directly linked to biological differences (such as worrying about physical safety), every single problem that women face in dating is also faced by men. But men have several problems that are specific to us. In other words, women's problems are almost a subset of men's.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 11:18 AM
0

I don't even understand how this is supposed to work, though. It seems physically impossible to me unless special medicine is involved or something. Either: -You're able to get an erection, which means you're aroused by something. The woman, the situation...something! In this case, you're able to have sex. OR -You can't get an erection, which means you aren't aroused. In this case you can't have sex. I don't understand how you can not be aroused but also somehow have sex. Was the fat girl like s…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 06:49 PM
–

This entire argument is so bizarre. Why would you want to be in a relationship if it's lost its passion to the point you're either asking for obligation sex or looking to other women to fill in for her gaps? The time to leave should've been long before it even got to this point...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 06:14 PM
1

One time in 6th grade, a girl I didn't know approached me and said "X (other girl I did know) wants to know if you'll go out with her". Since then, nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 05:56 PM
2

So the one you're performing for is god, not women? That makes sense. It also explains the "disconnected from reality" and "wtf is he even talking about??" vibes I kept getting. Good luck with your marriage. Hope she doesn't turn out asexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 02:29 PM
1

So you think most men who ask for nudes do so not because they want nudes, but because "the world teaches them selfishness"?? Pretty sure they just wanna see titties dude. > are making it harder to find a good woman who wants commitment if they treat finding a long term partner like they would for a short term one Finding a woman who wants commitment or a long-term partnership is never a problem. That's like 99.7% of women out there. I think "she might be a man in disguise" is an issue of bigger…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 02:03 PM
5

There's actually a pretty famous study on this. As far as I'm aware, in all the times this study has been replicated, no woman has ever answered "yes" to sex from an attractive male stranger she's just met. We may have found the first! A scientific breakthrough!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 01:44 PM
1

> Holding the door, paying for the first date without a second thought, approaching her, asking her out in person, asking her out for a date that isn’t “wanna come over” or “wanna hang out”, buying her flowers, not asking for nudes, not playing hot and cold to get her to chase you, making her feel safe on the date, being funny and being yourself around her, texting her to make sure she got home safe, really trying to get to know her and not just get her to break her rule and sleep with you right…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 12:32 PM
1

> Even if you find someone thats objectively good or vice versa, if you guys dont even have the same values and interests, it’s not gonna work. What happens if you find someone with the same values and interests but they're objectively bad? For example, not sexually attractive. In that case, I think you end up with a friendship instead of a relationship. You can't deny that there's value in being attractive. And, honestly, when you get down to it I think many people (especially men) would choose…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 12:05 PM
2

I've messed around with gold-diggers and I can confirm. They usually insist on first sex being in one of the top resorts or hotels in your area (no just taking her back to your place) - and sometimes it's contingent on being taken on an entire all-expense paid vacation. You can't just have a nice car and fake your way through it. In fact, I think the opposite is true. If she gets to stay in the resort she wants or go on the vacation she wants, she won't care about what car you drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:47 AM
3

Nothing in dating feels right at all and everything feels like it was designed to perfectly not work. Let's start with: -The women that I'd feel lucky to be with don't want to be with me. The women that want to be with me are those that I don't feel lucky to be with. -Everyone I like doesn't want to sleep with me. Everyone that wants to sleep with me, I don't particularly like and just sort of tolerate.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:32 AM
1

How is this an ego issue? Does he think of himself as the best house cleaner and you're bruising his pride? That's such an odd way to frame it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:05 AM
0

The reason men are bragging about it and sharing your photos is because you're making sex into a conquest by withholding it and making it so fucking hard for the average man to access! The whole reason high status men don't make it into a big thing is because it's available in abundance to them and therefore not a big deal. So let's put on our imagination hat for a moment and think about what would happen if sex were available in abundance to average men too. Hmmmmmm..... Oh, but wait. You're pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 09:44 AM
1

When men date, we choose the woman we most want to sleep with. That's how we date. We don't choose the woman that makes us feel safe or whatever because men don't need that like women do. So then we project our way of thinking onto women. If a woman says "You're such a good relationship partner, I feel so emotionally close to you, I feel safe with you, I can imagine a future together, etc, etc" then we begin to imagine how we would feel if we were saying those things and the feeling of wanting t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 09:14 AM
1

(Platonic) love and appreciation are given out by women like candy. There's no end to the amount women will hit you with that "You're such a great person and I'm so happy to have you in my life" glaze. But a woman that wants your body? That's like a unicorn. I once kept a shirt of 8 damn years because a woman told me it was nice. That's like the most tangential possible physical compliment. I don't even remember each individual compliment I get from women about my personality, but I'm sure I've …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 06:48 AM
13

Just asking for sex never works unless you're famous. That's why men say they want a relationship. Here's a little experiment: next time you're on a date, tell the guy you'll sleep with him but aren't interested in a relationship with him. Please tally up the number of disappointed reactions you get. (Spoilers: it will be zero)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 05:52 AM
1

> no,I meant many girls are attracted to guys who are serious and not into hook ups This is what I mean. What is a "serious" guy supposed to be getting out of dating, in your mind? Emotional support? You want a guy that looks to you to cheer him up all the time? Companionship? You want the guy who made it this far in life without making any close friends? The reason men are dating is primarily sex. And he's not even gonna know how serious he is about you until you sleep with him because that's a…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 01:04 AM
1

But even putting aside the mental side of whether you'd even want to, it's not even physically possible (without medicine) to have sex with someone you're not turned on by.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 12:23 AM
1

Men and women are both people that can relate to each other on just about every possible thing, but the moment sex and relationships comes up it's like we're alien species. Question for you: In your worldview where men think like women and prioritize an emotional connection before sex, what exactly are guys meant to be getting out of it? Do you think that a guy should need to feel emotionally safe with a woman before he feels okay sleeping with her? Safe from what? His feelings getting hurt if s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 04:38 PM
1

Every man is in the opposite situation. We go through life and women treat us as genderless floating minds, trying to connect to us mentally first and foremost even if they have 0 interest in our bodies (and, believe me, the vast majority of women who like a given man do so for non-sexual reasons). Women hit us with that emotional personality glaze all the time. "You're kind", "You're thoughtful", blah blah blah. Doesn't stick. Heart-felt appreciation of our personalities doesn't feel good at al…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 02:13 PM
0

I guess I'm too out of the influencer loop to know whoever you're talking about, but let's just take a step back and consider what sort man women tend to find attractive for a second: he's rich, high status, influential, ambitious, and has the whole money and career thing completely under control. Maybe he's a millionaire entrepreneur with a successful business, maybe a doctor with his own practice - you fill in the blank. Now imagine the sort of woman that that kind of man wants. Is he also lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 01:41 PM
1

Yeah, pretty sure the hallmark of "obsessed with sex" is you just put up with a girl's personality because she's hot. I don't think it works the other way around though. Emotionally attached and physically checked out isn't "obsessed with sex", it's "dead bedroom".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 01:22 PM
4

"IMO, you have to be either obsessed with sex or pathetically desperate to date someone you find unattractive." Wait, what? Could you explain this, because it makes 0 sense to me. Why would someone obsessed with sex pick someone they find sexually unattractive? Wouldn't that entirely defeat the purpose?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 01:05 PM
1

How can you have 0 desire to meet your celebrity crush, in private, 1-on-1, for 30+ full minutes?? People regularly line up for several hours just to earn a lousy signature and literally 8 second conversation with their celebrity crush, even though he's definitely going to forget about you immediately after you leave because he's meeting 1000 people in a row that day. You say you don't want to be treated like a piece of meat? I remember a piece of meat I ate on a trip to Seattle, Washington more…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 12:37 PM
2

That's...That's literally the entire point of confidence as a barometer for women. If you've made it this far in life with a confidence that's resilient, then you must be something special and be assured in your own value. Women even try to stomp your confidence on purpose just to see if you'll flinch. A girl who is normally the sweetest and would never hurt anyone's feelings will suddenly start saying shit to you that's borderline insulting the moment she views you as a sexual contender. She's …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 11:14 AM
11

The reason all guys envy a player is because we envy being able to make actual meaningful choices. We want to end up with a woman we actually like. But the lived reality of many (most?) men is that the girl we like friendzones us and we end up married to our least bad option.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 08:28 AM
12

> Fucking around is a lonely existence after the first 5-10 women. Being in a relationship with the wrong person for you is also lonely. But that's the reality for many guys who can't get sex outside of a relationship and take whatever chances at sex they can get, even if it means a relationship with the wrong person. If you're going through different women, you at least have a chance of meeting the person who's right for you. But if you're stuck in exclusivity with the wrong person, there's no …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 03:10 AM
13

"because men who are hookup material will never have a problem finding a relationship. Most women don’t understand this; they think these men won’t be able to find one." Yeah, I have no idea why women think it's a compliment when they consider you relationship material or husband material instead of a guy they'd "just sleep with". Women are surely aware of the amount of guys out there that are going into relationships that they really don't want to be in just because that's the condition the wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 02:59 AM
1

How would you rate the importance of sex in a relationship to you? Do you want to figure it out early because it's really important to you or (for example) because it's just quick and easy to figure out?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 05:18 AM
1

"as a woman it seems odd to have sex and increase my n count (which making me less attractive)" / "If we are not compatible for the long term then having sex as a woman is a complete waste of time and it damaging." / "it’s way better to skip sex entirely till I am 100% sure both sides have committed to each other." Wow, most women won't directly own up to thoughts like this. The norm is trying to have your cake and eat it too, eg "I should be able to sleep with as many men as I want and also not…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 04:44 AM
2

> And men who see prostitutes know that these problems persist, and have to be ok with idea that there is a high chance the prostitute they’re seeing is not doing it consensually. You know you can talk to them, right? They're people. You can ask what their situation is. You don't have to make assumptions. In fact, if a man goes to see a prostitute, I'd say he's far more likely to walk away knowing more about her life than he would the cashier at the supermarket or his barber, for example. Anyway…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 02:37 PM
–

Well, unfortunately the label which would probably be most appropriate - "involuntarily celibate" - has already been taken and has been attached with a very particular set of ideologies...I can see why they needed to form their own groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 01:54 PM
1

Pretty sure if you go to a meetup event or shop for any of the things you listed, it'll be 80-90% men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 01:40 PM
2

When I go on my daily commute, I regularly see 40-60 women I'd date. I can't imagine what it's like going *years*. I wish whenever people talked to each other, everyone was required to hold up a sign indicating if they saw the other person as a neutered "regular person" vs a full-fledged member of the opposite sex. So many wasted conversations could be avoided.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 01:33 PM
4

Why is this an argument against prostitution in general rather than an argument against cleaning up this messed up way the Netherlands seems to be getting new prostitutes?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 01:26 PM
0

I'm saying "horny" is kind of the defining feature of the male sex - and it's not limited by age (barring some actual medical reason like low testosterone as men get older). The only difference between men in their 20s and men in their 30s is that men in their 30s have had more time to learn what plays well with women and what doesn't. The same 30 year old guy who says in front of women "I wouldn't date a 20 year old. That's too young for me." will be saying "Well, she's actually very mature for…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 01:11 PM
3

Have you dated a man before? An alarmingly large number of us think that sending pictures of our junk to women we've only ever spoken to over a few text messages is a good move - purely because "do unto others as you would have others do unto you". Hell, the hormone that *causes* horny in both men and women is also the same hormone that defines sexual differentiation from female into male. Men are - in the most literal possible sense - horny incarnate. It's not limited to men in their 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 12:35 PM
3

Even if you get everyone to agree with the premise of this thread, it's not going to make 20yos any easier to get with as a 30yo. And if you do manage to get together with one, logic isn't going to stop the complaining that'll come your way because older women will be salty about the perceived injustice and men will feel jealous and have crab-bucket mentality. So it's best to just spend your time and energy swiping on young women and praying and if the miracle happens, just ignore the haters. Re…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 12:12 PM
-1

Yes, because like close friendship I'm sure the 30yo is totally into the 20yo due to the strength of the mental connection they share. Has nothing to do with 20yos being 3-4x hotter.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 12:03 PM
0

Personally, I think that way seems odd. Sitting across a table from someone in a completely unaroused state and admitting to every sexual kink I have while the other side silently judges me like it's some sort of sexual job interview. But the context and your state of mind is completely different when you're having sex. For one thing, being turned on makes risks seem less risky and things you'd normally think are gross when clearheaded seem less gross. You're more likely to actually want to say …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 02:51 AM
2

Two things: One of the greatest problems women commonly complain about in dating is getting a man to care about her for reasons other than sex. But men caring about sex causes men to put forth so much time and effort and give women so many essentially free opportunities to make us care about her for some reason other than sex, that it's a huge benefit to her. By contrast, men have the same problem women have - we have to figure out a way to get a woman to care about us for reasons other than sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 05:15 PM
2

To a certain degree, you're right that there's room for improvement (especially if it's a skill issue), but to a certain degree there's not. There are things related to fundamental compatibility that are unchangeable, like your physical body structures, what you're into sexually (eg sub/dom, kinks, etc), and your libido levels. For example, let's say your husband reveals a fantasy he's always had that just makes you uncomfortable to even think about doing. How do you plan to work through that?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 04:39 PM
1

Honestly, this could just be a difference in what it's like dating as a man/woman. But at least from the male side, there are a lot of time-waster women out there. It definitely feels bad to invest a lot of time and then have it go nowhere, but that's probably because we have to go through it so many times. It probably feels different if you're the one asking for the time in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 03:33 PM
1

You just said basically what I said, but with it flipped around. "manipulating women into having sex with you by doing things you think she wants" = "using sex as a bargaining chip to get a relationship" When a woman meets a man, her thoughts don't immediately go to having sex with him. Her thoughts almost entirely revolve around if he's relationship material. Sex then comes organically This is the same thing I said but just...nicer. Sex isn't the goal, a relationship is. She makes sex contingen…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 03:29 PM
1

You're in sunk cost land at that point. Because you've invested as much time in him as you've made him invest in you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 03:20 PM
1

I appreciate your egalitarian attitude, and I acknowledge that among any sufficiently large population of people you can find individual examples that have whatever characteristics you're interested in finding, but let's get real lol. Such things as trends exist. If you're dead set on seeing everyone as an individual with their own individual variations, you become quite literally unable to see the forest for the trees. One need only compare how lesbians date each other to how gay men date each …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 11:16 AM
1

Sorry, I know this is totally insensitive, but I totally laughed when I read "I've only been assaulted a couple of times. Pretty good numbers really." I hope your casual optimism was intentional black humor lol What's the difference in timing, in your experience, between men and women with respect to sex and relationships? Have you ever felt pushed by women in the same way I assume men do?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 11:01 AM
-4

Yeah, I picked the most extreme and easy-to-understand example to make my point and you're right most women don't do this, but most women do make sex conditional on either agreement to a relationship, a time frame, or both.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 10:38 AM
0

Sex for women is like drawing a card at random from a deck. You have no idea what you'll get, and it might be bad. So if you draw a King, it's rare. Sex for men is like drawing from a deck only containing 10-Queen. You don't know exactly what you're going to get, but whatever it is it's gonna be good.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 10:35 AM
3

Ex-bf. They broke up like 3 months before we met. Yeah, she told me about him. Apparently got job-transferred far away and offered her marriage in exchange for her moving to the middle-of-nowhere place he had to go and she refused.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 10:28 AM
-2

Are you serious? What do you think waiting for marriage is? It's another way of saying "If you want to sleep with me, you have to marry me first". Is it really controversial that women do this?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 10:19 AM
3

The most blatant example was a woman I went on 2 dates with then turned down for a relationship. She said she still wanted to hang out so we hung out like 3 more times after that. She followed me back to the hotel I was staying at (We went to the neighboring city for the day) and hung out in the lobby with me for a couple hours. After a while, I wanted to go up to my room so I invited her up too. She said "I only sleep with my boyfriend" and then just stared at me. Like if I just agree to revers…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 10:05 AM
1

"If you’re not sexually compatible and that’s not very important to one person, it only works if it’s not important to the other person too." Hmm....You think so? The thing that inspired this thread was the impression I've gotten that many women don't seem to have sexual compatibility as a big deal breaker that they're willing to sink an otherwise good relationship over and kind of just follow the lead of whatever their partner wants. For example, I've met women who consider themselves low libid…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 09:55 AM
2

So you do exist! I think that the range of possible sexual experiences for women are much larger than those for men (even including "It just hurt. I never want to do that again" - not really possible for men unless you really get adventurous), so that would mean that finding really good sex is more rare for women than men. I would've expected some to want to hold on to something exceptional when they find it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 09:43 AM
–

I wish there were more women like you. I agree. All the mental stuff that most women tend to prioritize can be gotten from other places than a relationship. And no one will accuse you of "emotional cheating" if you call up your sister when you're going through a tough time or have a best friend who is of the same sex. So to me, a partner is - first and foremost - a sex partner. Keep the girl with great personality chemistry as a friend and save the relationship slot for the hottest girl you can …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 09:13 AM
1

But it's almost certainly on HIS list. And if he's not down for no sex, then that's a major sexual compatibility issue you need to figure out an approach for sorting out. My question here is "Do you care about sexual compatibility?" If the answer is "no", then I'd expect you to say something like "I'm asexual so I don't care about sex, but I'll leave it to you how much sex we have." But if you do want to draw a line at sex, that means you DO care enough about sexual compatibility to sink a poten…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 09:02 AM
-5

The context in which I'm usually told "I don't do casual sex" or "I only have sex with my bf" is when I invite a woman home with me, usually followed by a stare as if to say "your move". In that context, it's not about gaining a sense of emotional security because if I followed that up with a relationship invitation, it's pretty obvious I'm just doing it to clear a hurdle to get into her pants, right? And, yeah, if a guy told me doesn't have casual sex, I'd jump to the conclusion that he's extre…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 04:41 AM
1

Even though this is a question for women, I'm interested to hear men's thoughts as well. Post them here. Personally, building a relationship is first and foremost about building as close to my ideal sex life as I can (since they're the only person you're meant to be sleeping with), so checking sexual compatibility is one of if not the most important things to me. To the point that womens' patience around checking this is totally baffling to me (hence this thread).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 04:12 AM
1

I'm asking about "sexual compatibility" not just him being "good at sex" (although that does play a part in compatibility) It sounds to me like you have very specific expectations around the frequency of sex you'll be having. If his expectations are incompatible with yours, are you okay with that or is that a dealbreaker for you? For example, if he has the expectation "We'll have sex 3-5x per week"? That's what this thread is about.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 03:57 AM
1

Looking for sex, including looking for sex from many people, does not automatically close you off from the possibility that one person is worth committing to. There seems to be this fundamental assumption among women that "I'm mostly interested in you because I want to fuck you" is equivalent to "I will use you and discard you in this zero sum game between us where there must be a winner and loser". It's simply not true. Look at how gay men date each other. This is the way straight men would dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 02:07 PM
2

> The ‘go, go, go!’ urge is present in everyone (to varying degrees, but not substantively different in quality). I'm convinced that women don't experience lust in the same way men do. I've never met a woman (even online) who has admitted that she could judge from a picture if she wants to sleep with a man or not. They don't seem to experience intrusive sexual thoughts throughout the day without any external trigger. And the biggest clue IMO is that women routinely seem to think it's possible fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 01:06 PM
1

Most women are pretty smart. The smart ones know that they're not going to get the super attractive guy with tons of options that they go home with just because they want him to tear their clothes off to commit to them. No way in hell those men are going to give up their life filled with fun and variety for a boring-ass relationship with one person. When women look for commitment, they set their sights lower. The set their sights on a guy that's unattractive enough that he might actually have a …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 07:21 AM
17

As long as we have sex, that's a "no hard feelings no matter what" result in my book.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 03:21 PM
–

The signal that she's getting that tells her what she should expect to be able to get is very polluted with noise, though. Men who are well above what she can reasonably expect to get to commit to her will still give her the time of day just in order to sleep with her. These men will also often jump through minor hoops, such as having a discussion about whether they want marriage or kids some day, which women often take as a sign of seriousness. This, along with constantly being showered with ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 03:55 PM
3

Hahahaha! XD Oh, shit, you got me there! I guess I wouldn't even be here if it really was a just little discontent, huh? Well played.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 03:35 PM
1

Your response seemed to be surprised that a man would go so far as to hold his tongue and avoid complaining in order to be more attractive to women. My point was that most men routinely go much, much farther than that for the sake of impressing women - up to and including devoting huge chunks of our time and money as well as shaping our very lifestyles around trying to be more attractive. So swallowing a little discontent for the sake of seeming more emotionally grounded is nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 03:24 PM
-3

Dude, what are you talking about? You think many guys go to the gym 3x per week because they care about fitness (strength training only and totally neglecting cardio lol)? You think men stay late at work gunning for that promotion because they just love their jobs, are super ambitious, and there's absolutely no other way they'd rather be spending their time? You think the same guy who seemed totally content back in college with a mattress on the floor, a gaming PC, and eating sandwiches over the…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 02:53 PM
2

Complaining is what reddit is for. I ain't going to date anyone here, so this is a fantastic place to let my unattractive self stretch out and get comfy. You think I carry that shit with me into the real world? Are you crazy? This is my venting ground.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 02:44 PM
1

> It entails that men who does not want to fuck everything that moves as soon as they meet someone is not real men(asexual low libido) and that men have absolutely zero self respect of their body literally sticking their dick in anywhere if it means they can nut off. Wow. What a misandary. What the hell are you talking about? I'm a man lol Have you seen how gay men date each other? Once a woman is removed from the equation, sex on the first date is assumed. Often sex happens before any significa…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 12:01 PM
6

This is...a really helpful response actually. Thank you. How does one "actively pursue sex" without being the guy women always complain about who tries to make things sexual too early without properly getting to know her first?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 11:20 AM
8

I've done my fair share of time in bars and clubs. Never got a hookup out of it. I don't know where the perception among women comes from that casual sex is so easily achievable. Ask yourself this: if bog standard clubs and bars were an easy place for men to find no-strings-attached sex with "scores" of women, do you think women would have such a problem with so many men only interested in sex masquerading as relationship guys? They'd just go to the club or bar and hook up with one of the "score…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 09:41 AM
2

I'm very surprised with some of the responses here. I can't go 4 waking hours without thinking about sex. I go to the gym religiously 3x per week purely for the sake of women. I also spend a ton of money on things like a nice house, $80 haircut, etc purely for the sake of hopefully impressing women. I'd say "trying to impress women" is definitely my single biggest financial expense lol. None of this expensive stuff I pay for brings me happiness really, and actually I was happiest back in college…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 08:57 AM
1

God, I have so much to say here. Okay, first of all - is it really your goal to weed out men who care about sex? You really wanna be left with a pool of asexual or extremely low libido men who truly don't see sex as any sort of priority and therefore don't mind waiting so much? Congrats! You've just committed yourself to a dead bedroom for the next 20 years. Men who pass on you because you make sex hard are passing due to a difference in values. Sex is important to them and you're giving every i…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 08:50 AM
2

Why would men push a narrative that younger women are more attractive if we are, in fact, more attracted to older women? That makes no sense. I think you're right that older women are more desirable, attractive, and seen as better relationship partners, but only from the perspective of *other women*. I've seen tons of women push this idea before, so I think it's pretty safe to say it's the female consensus. The problem is, obviously, that's not going to affect how men think. Men typically don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 08:26 AM
12

Yeah. Honestly it's at the point that hearing that a woman thinks I'm kind, caring, compassionate, or (insert any other relationship-y compliment about my personality) barely even registers to me anymore. Women give that shit out like trick or treat candy. I don't really feel anything. But if a woman gives me anything that is even *tangentially* a physical compliment, I'm talking something as minor as "I like your shirt", that will make my year and I'll remember that shit for the rest of my life…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 08:02 AM
19

My experience with women over my entire life is that I've only ever gotten total disinterest/friend-zoned from women or been relationship/husband zoned by them. It seems to be that being the guy she's willing to fuck even if it means she'll never see me again is a much more exclusive club with a higher bar. It's the club that, for example, celebrities belong to with their groupies. The groupies know they're not going to be able to land their celebrity crush as a husband, but just the experience …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 07:19 AM
2

> Having sex on the first date, shouldn't be your litmus test to if a woman is sexually attracted to you, that should be a default of you matching online and going on a date. If I'm reading this correctly, you're saying it's safe to assume that a woman is sexually attracted to a man if she matches with him on a dating platform and agrees to go on a date with him? So for that reason, there's no need to worry about whether you're on a path that'll eventually lead to sex and instead to focus on oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 04:39 PM
1

It's so unreal to me, as a man. I understand wanting to read romance stories - I feel that too and there are stories I've liked reading. I can relate to the emotional yearning of wanting two characters you've come to care about be happy by finally being together. But this is not a sexual thing at all for me. Romance is a totally different feeling that's felt in a totally different way and..."place" in my brain (if that makes sense) than lust. Romance is an emotional and wistful and like a weaker…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 05:24 PM
2

> I am intelligent, kind, talented and a good person and I deserved better. Yeah, it seems like. I'm sorry it turned out that way. For what it's worth, it's probably nothing personal with you. I bet he saw and loved the things about who you are that you recognize as good in yourself as well. But if you put a personality on one end of the scale and young + pretty + virgin on the other end of the scale, it's extremely hard for anyone's personality to win out, no matter how good. But I'd wager he p…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 02:28 PM
1

So to address your question about what you could've done to be "good enough". It's not about breaking yourself or living a life that's uncomfortable to you. It's about understanding what men want and doing minor things that helps him get what he wants out of the relationship too. Yeah, men want virgins and women with low body count, but do you know WHY? What's at the root of that desire? If you do, then you can succeed at delivering the root thing he actually wants more than a clueless virgin ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 10:27 AM
2

Your points here are fantastic. These are the sorts of conversations I would love to have with women if everyone would just be real with each other. Okay, so first of all I guarantee, you sleeping with him is the reason he invested 7 years of his life into you. If you didn't do that, he wouldn't have given you very much of his time and would've been gone. You traded away that one body count punch card space along with the loss of value of your youth by burning 7 years of your own life for him (m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 10:27 AM
1

I've never understood the whole "young women are easier to manipulate" thing. Young women are about 50x harder to get with than older women. If they were so easy to manipulate, every older man would be with a younger woman. In reality, young women have all of the options in the world and therefore all the power. In contrast, older women have less ability to refuse because they're much more desperate in relative terms than younger women. Men care way less about them so they've begun to get afraid…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 09:27 AM
0

This is not lust. You're not describing the emotional experience of lust - which is what this thread is about. This is describing...like having relationship standards, maybe? I don't know, but it's not lust. Lust is an animal-like, primal emotion that urges you to want to have sex - right now. It's kind of the opposite of having standards. When you feel a lot of lust, you're more likely to do something that you would find disgusting if you weren't so turned on. Sometimes I question if women are …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 09:10 AM
1

How does sexuality/porn work for you when you're not in a relationship? If you need honesty, trust, and vulnerability, how do you even manage to feel that when you're by yourself in order to manage feelings of lust?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 09:04 AM
7

What you're saying is standard male poser bullshit. The thread title is correct, but your idea that women should be chasing you or putting in effort for you is flawed because you actually have little to no value in dating beyond whatever bullshit you can get women to believe about you (which you're peddling here). You're the same as the simps, the men playing the numbers game and approaching everyone, etc. That's why you're trying so hard in this thread to differentiate yourself from them. You a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 08:39 AM
2

What you're saying is absolutely fair in terms of your objective, and this is a bit of a tangent from the main topic of this thread, but could you please think a bit more about how you guys approach this? You said "that's why we hold off on sex to see if he's serious". This implies you think that it should be possible for a man to know whether or not he's serious about you before having sex. But, actually, sexual compatibility is important enough for most men that knowing that would be a prerequ…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 05:02 AM
3

Yes, but the only women I give the "you are only a person and don't have a gender" treatment to are women that are *truly* unattractive. I'm talking about the sort of women that had the misfortune of being hit with the ugly stick in the genetic lottery AND are also clearly not making any effort on top of it. But for those women, I sympathize because they must experience constantly being stuck in the friendzone. But the problem is that most men aren't *that* genetically ugly. Most men make some e…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:34 AM
2

I mean, the hottest women will definitely be a topic of conversation among men for sure, but we still rate average women as average. It's only women that rate average men (by the definition of what average means) as below average. I experienced this myself when I was optimizing my dating profile. I put my best photos on a photo rating site and they were rated 3.4/10. I was shattered until I also tried putting my friends photos on there and they rated similarly. Then I put photos of men from my l…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:25 AM
2

What you describe is already what men face, except 1) the quantity of matches is much less so we aren't flooded, and 2) rather than asking for for you to give your money, it's asking for you to give your time. One of the women from my post in a different conversation that same day was complaining about a man who made things sexual after 4 hours of meeting her IRL and when she said "Just so you know, I don't do casual sex", he said thanks for telling him quickly, wished her a good night, and left…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:12 AM
2

They usually aren't for long. Most men try online dating, get nothing, then completely give up on it after a few weeks or months. They might come back years later and give it another try after, for example, getting advice from friends or watching YouTube videos about how to make a good profile, take good photos, get photos rated in advance of posting them, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 05:57 PM
2

Online dating: okay, sure. But in general: you kidding me? Do you know how scary the first minute or so of approaching a woman in public is? For all you know, her tipsy boyfriend is going to come back from the bathroom at any time. Then you have way more to worry about than being laughed at.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 10:26 AM
4

Exactly. Well said. But to take it even a step further, the role that I'm performing in front of them, which is that of a guy who has lots of options in online dating but the options tend to be too low quality so he prefers to meet organically, likely wouldn't know the statistic that most men struggle in online dating. So even saying it would be out of character. And because so many men are playing this same sort of character, there are a lot of women unaware of these statistics who are surprise…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 04:27 AM
2

I was assertive and disagreed at other parts of the conversation - parts where it wouldn't be suicidal to do so. Being passive on one topic doesn't necessarily mean being passive all the time. You can pick and choose when it's best to hold your tongue and when it's best to speak out. Still, I mean, you're probably right. I'm probably friend zoned in their eyes. But that's always the case with every woman. There's something like a 1/30 chance that a woman who seems to love talking to you every ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 04:18 AM
2

Yes, you're absolutely right. No one *with any kind of options* would eat rotten food. Yes, the rotten food is *potentially* fatal in itself. But starvation is certainly fatal. That's why anyone, when faced with the choice of rotten food or nothing, would choose rotten food. And, yeah, if you dream into existence additional options like bland or tacky food, of course that becomes preferable. Of course you'd be relieved you don't have to eat the rotten food anymore. And believe me, I know many me…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 03:59 AM
2

No death threats yet. Women tend to not be violent/aggressive. 2 stalkers (only one from OLD tho). Turns out unattractive women can be just as creepy as men in that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 03:45 AM
2

Oh, for sure. I agree with your assessment of both, and basically told my cousin as much. There's a strong incentive to become a doormat, though. In his case, waiting for a woman to be ready for sex and helping to raise her kids are both considered the proper and respectable things to do. It's often seen as a sign of integrity to put the needs of others before your own. That's where a lot of doormat behavior comes from, I think. The problem, of course, is it sets you up perfectly to be used.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 08:38 PM
2

Just because it's sex doesn't give it any kind of special status. Autonomy is autonomy. For example, having the expectation that someone should stay in a date with you even if they're not mutually enjoying it is just as much an affront to autonomy, I'd say.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 08:30 PM
3

25F and 42F. I'm 39M.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 08:21 PM
3

Fair point. I've already conceded safety elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 07:53 PM
3

Exactly! This is what is so frustrating to me because it's completely obvious. If you want to see what men are like without putting on a performance just for the sake of women, then just subtract the woman and make it two men. Likewise for women. It removes the incentive to perform completely because both people are coming from the same place. And it also removes the excuse "Well, everyone is different" because that applies to gay people and lesbians as well, but there are still very obvious obs…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 07:42 PM
5

No. It wouldn't be a waste of time if it was "before you jump into a relationship". The issue is that 29 times out of 30, you actually don't end up jumping into a relationship. That's when it becomes wasted time. Especially if the woman is aware that this isn't headed to in that direction and keeps it going anyway - as usually is the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 07:15 PM
3

I just want to chime in and say that men do not get hundreds of matches. If you make a profile without doing any optimization work (as in, you just kind of randomly pick pictures of yourself that you think look pretty good), you will get literally nothing. This is most men's first experience with online dating. If you optimize your profile, you can get it up to a trickle.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 07:07 PM
3

No, but I get vibes from one of them. When she finishes before me, she specifically waits for me to walk to the station together. She sometimes messages me. She keeps bringing up her dating life randomly unasked and it has a "better act now - while supplies last" kind of vibe to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 07:03 PM
2

Yeah, so far I've conceded safety and romance scams (which surprised me) as female-only in this thread. Uh...Right now no. Because she's only in this country half the time and in another country the other half of the time. I've sworn off LDR for life. Maybe if she moves here for good. I lived as my honest self for a long time (15+ years) and never got any interest from women. I've only started finding success since cultivating the performance - paying careful attention to what it is women want t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:54 PM
2

5 isn't too bad. Good on you for following through with your own policy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:47 PM
2

Well, I thought it showcased a lack of understanding for the other side, but if what you're saying is true and women already understand then it just showcases a lack of caring for what the other person wants or willingness to compromise. In the specific story she told, the guy spent 4 hours treating her the way she wanted to be treated before making it sexual in any way. At which point she put up a big wall at the first whiff of him making a move and failed to treat him in the way that he wanted…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:44 PM
6

It's interesting that is the definition of high-fidelity your mind snapped to. I feel like I know a little more about your relationship history now. If jacking off is cheating, who are they cheating with? Themselves?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 06:05 PM
7

Are you serious? Everything I know about women says the first one is more attractive. It depends a lot on delivery though (body language, tone of voice, etc). You need to say the first one with a hint of sarcasm that makes them wonder whether you're joking or actually being serious. About 1/3 joke, 2/3 serious. Vulnerability is an assets once you're more in relationship territory and she's already attracted to you. But if you're still building attraction, it's a liability.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 05:57 PM
3

You really need me to explain why a barrel full of rotten apples is better than an empty barrel? Well, okay then. Yeah, your summary is almost perfect actually. "Theyre rotten from decay, poison, infestation, or contamination. So what good is a barrel of apples that cant be enjoyed?" - This is perfect. And it seems to reflect your mindset perfectly as well. "But the apples arent edible." - This is the only problem. Actually, they are edible. It's possible to eat a rotten apple. And if you become…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 05:37 PM
1

That's really helpful of you. I bet after she realized she was shooting for 1/3rd of 1% she must have felt really silly and adjusted her standards accordingly, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 05:04 PM
2

Men are more likely to treat you as a sex toy in proportion to how many options that man has available. If a man is telling you that he thinks women who are 23 and look like Sydney Sweeney is within his reach, then he's either completely delusional or you're dating way outside your league. If you're dating way outside your league, then what you will find are men that are happy to date you and even talk about stuff like marriage, but they will just want to sleep with you and not commit to you. Wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 04:57 PM
4

Check the other post for more details. You're right there might be more to it, but that's all I know. It was my cousin's boyfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 04:27 PM
3

She could freely rent any apartment in the city because she's a citizen of the country I live in whereas I am not. In order to rent an apartment, I have to jump through a lot of hoops, my selection is more limited, and it's much more expensive. She offered to sign the lease for the apartment for me as a "favor". I knew this was a ploy to try to move in with me because she'd already asked me to move in and I said no, and she was afraid of me breaking things off with her which would become really …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 04:25 PM
10

One woman, 2 months, she lived far away so it was inconvenient to meet but I still tried 3 times. When she made an excuse the 3rd time, I ghosted her (she loved writing me these enormous messages every day too - but meeting me was too much apparently). Another woman, 3 months, lived in the neighboring city. About 1 hour trip to go meet her one-way. She could meet after her work got off from 8pm until 9:30pm - 2 hour round trip for 1.5 hours of meeting. I wasn't super motivated to meet her but be…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 04:19 PM
5

This was my cousin and her boyfriend. According to her, they kissed regularly and she let him touch her butt from time to time like when she passed by, but she stopped it from going beyond that. He tried to date her continuously and she was in "let me think about it" mode for 4 years. There was like a 20 year age gap between them, which is why I think he tried so hard. He was helping raise her kids from another marriage and being Mr Nice Guy waiting until she was properly ready. My cousin told m…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 04:01 PM
7

Your hypothetical is not very hypothetical. There are in fact tons of women using dating apps in order to make non-sexual connections who are not particularly up-front about it. Reasons include women who just want validation, women who sort of like you a little bit but they're waiting to see if their #1 choice comes around while trying to keep you in orbit around them, and women who are just bored on Saturday and want you to buy them moz sticks and listen to whatever they have been wanting to sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 03:49 PM
7

Well, ya got me. And yeah, would've felt good to do that. But have you met a woman before? In my experience, with only the single exception of one very particular personality type that feels like she wants to "save" everyone, whining and complaining is a turn-off to women. And in contrast, being the guy who doesn't let anything get to him is a turn-on. So as tempting as your offer of various kinds of emotional fulfillment is, I'll take the slightly increased chance of dating success.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 03:34 PM
3

Just because sex is your paramount goal doesn't mean you aren't open to a relationship. Again, I would draw your attention to the way gay men date each other as a guideline for how male instinct tends to guide what we want in the absence of womens' influence. It's not like gay men never have relationships, get married, etc. And men experience the same thing in reverse. I've had women on dating apps spend 2-3 months chatting with me every day and getting to know me as a person, after which time t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 03:27 PM
3

Well, ever since me too bars, clubs, and online dating are the only options to meet new women for dating and I don't drink alcohol so...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 03:09 PM
2

How many matches do you get, GrandpaDallas? Want to volunteer that information honestly for the purpose of living earnestly? (Granted, this is online and anonymous, but still...)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 03:04 PM
3

The bit that annoyed me was when they called me lucky for not having to deal with the problems they do. But actually, this thread was about how men deal with all women's problems and more. I might want to date one of them, and I try to keep myself in good standing with women in my social circle even if I don't want to date them. Women tend to know other single women and introduce you, and getting a woman to vouch for you ahead of time counts for a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 03:02 PM
8

You have no idea how deep this goes lol This kind of dating frustration basically lives anonymously on the internet. Men don't even talk to each other in real life about it, even though we all basically experience it. If I said "my other male friends experience this" then that would be betraying them because those women know who many of my male friends are. Do you have any idea how much work every man puts into creating the lie that he's popular with women and has a lot of options? I'm not going…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 02:55 PM
3

A lot of what you're saying, I agree with, but again my argument is about the character of the experience itself rather than from how it is received subjectively by the person experiencing it. You may be right that men and women are mentally positioned in such a way that even an advantaged experience for women results in them having less satisfaction. But usually fairness is determined using objective rather than subjective criteria. For example, if Bob and Alice both get 4 cookies, that's consi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 02:34 PM
3

Because women typically lack perspective on what dating is like for men, and why men would've developed into doing that as a result of experiences we've had and things we want to avoid happening again as we look back on our past dating mistakes. The typical dating experience of women is to be constantly objectified for sex and never to have to push for it. It's hard for many women, therefore, to imagine what it's like dating in an environment where EVERYONE of the opposite sex is primarily wanti…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 02:19 PM
3

Yeah, it's difficult for sure. Hence my frustration here.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 02:09 PM
7

Oh, don't get me wrong. That policy wasn't intended as solid dating advice for women. Rather it was intended as a high-fidelity simulation of what the male dating experience is like, should you decide that you want to better understand it by experiencing it yourself (which I'd advise against - do yourself a favor). Yeah, solid advice for the women in my story. One is too old for me so I'm eyeing the other one. The problem is she is 1) very much a commitment-oriented girl who's gone out of her wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 02:03 PM
6

I've personally been both harassed and stalked by women. I had a woman I met on an online dating app try to move in with me after 5 dates and when I said no, she tried to manipulate me into a lease agreement with her name on it so that I would have to commit to her and wouldn't have the power to break up with her. Women are just as creepy and pushy - except for commitment instead of sex. The biggest difference is women have to worry about the physical power men have whereas we don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 01:54 PM
3

I disagree. A barrel of rotten apples may suck, but it will always be strictly better than an empty barrel.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 01:47 PM
3

Yeah. Women are weaker than men and that introduces safety concerns. Fair enough. That's one less filter men have to worry about when deciding on a woman. I think most men would welcome being sexually used by women, assuming she looks even relatively good. You kidding me lol? I think to generalize what you're saying, men are going in with goals that are different than yours (or at least the prioritization is different - I assume you're not asexual and sex is *a* goal, even if not your primary on…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 01:46 PM
6

Not sure I completely follow this so apologies for mistakes. Yeah, I agree with you. The guys who bring this unfairness into the dating field are making a mistake. There's no reason why a woman would want to listen to that, and he's very much shooting himself in the foot by talking about it. The only reasons to talk about it are 1) venting male frustration, and 2) figure out what's actually true about the world, neither of which are important goals on a date. So, yeah, bad move on their part. Se…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 01:27 PM
15

I disagree here. I think both sexes deal with problems that are of various sizes. I myself have been subject to several women who try to lead me on with a platonic relationship even when we met on a dating app, wasting months of time. That's a pretty big problem, IMO. I know a guy who "dated" a girl for four years before she bothered to tell him that actually she's in fact not waiting until she feels ready for sex but actually just doesn't see him in that way at all, and that she hopes this does…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 01:16 PM
2

Hang on, are we talking about anonymous internet complaining or things women actually have to deal with when a guys is doing a dating audition? I think they're very different. As I've described in other comments, I would never say in real life the sorts of things I comment on this sub and elsewhere. Because women just dismiss you if you do. So we're trained over time by trail and error on how to perform, basically. If you're talking about anonymous internet complaining, yeah, there's lots of ent…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 01:07 PM
24

Well that is certainly a uniquely female dating problem. You got me there. What happened? Did he make up excuses for why he had to cross the street every time you guys walked past a school bus stop and you eventually got the picture?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 12:55 PM
9

This is the real answer. I just can't stand it when someone says something that I feel like is wrong but also I feel like I can't disagree with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 12:51 PM
3

Being sympathetic is actually the correct answer. Putting this entire debate aside as silly (because it ultimately doesn't matter whether the world is fair or just - pointing it out doesn't change the constraints you have to work under), the fact of the matter remains that if you want success in dating one of the things women look for is a guy who can digest his own emotional problems so well that he has space left over to listen to hers as well. Every woman wants her emotions to be felt twice: …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 12:47 PM
3

The argument I'm making is about the nature of the experience itself, and how the problems women face is strictly a subset of those that men face, not about the severity of the emotional toll it leaves. Obviously, it's possible to experience something less bad than someone else but to have a greater negative reaction than that person who experienced the thing worse than you. Your point about romance fraud is probably fair. It's just one of those things I have a really hard time believing (even t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 12:43 PM
2

That particular thing was nice guy, because I wanted to not torpedo my attractiveness by seeming whiny and also avoid just straight up testifying to the lack of female options I have. But I already learned the hard way in the past to avoid nice guy. Same conversation, I made sure to defend the guys they were shitting on who were only interested in them for sex, for example. And, yeah, men having it worse doesn't erase whatever badness women experience. But it's a bit like talking about how gross…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 12:34 PM
2

Low effort profiles - also a thing for women. So not uniquely a female experience problem. Actually, you get matches if you just make a female profile with no bio or picture (unlike men) so the incentive to properly fill out your profile is less for women. Do you mean why would a woman tolerate a guy who is entitled or has unreasonable expectations? I agree. That's why it's mostly beaten out of us at some point and not as much of a big problem for women. It's hard to feel entitled when you're st…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 12:26 PM
9

What? The reason I didn't disagree with them is because arguing against them would require I admit that I have few matches in online dating. This might allow me to win the argument, but why does that matter in the grand scheme of things? I would have torpedoed my image to them permanently when I admitted "according to aggregate evaluation of women in general, I am not desirable". Of course, according to the aggregate evaluation of women in general, most men are not desirable. But it's not like w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 12:09 PM
1

I've managed to get dates with two 25 year olds after who-knows-how-many-hundreds-of-hours trying. Both of them wanted to settle down and get married. It was the same with the 27yos, 28yos, etc. Finding women who want relationships or marriage is basically never a problem regardless of age group. I think it's a pretty universal experience for guys that all the difficulties of dating are everything up to sex. After that, you're in the clear for whatever else (relationship, marriage, etc) if you w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 04:50 AM
1

This is the reason I exclusively use reddit to complain about my dating life. I ain't dating any of y'all. IRL its "Oh ya, no big deal. It's whatever." but internally I'm already drafting my reddit post. What's weird is the ppl on reddit constantly say "You're not going to get women with an attitude like that". Well, yeah, no shit. I don't show women this side of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 04:50 PM
1

Okay, what you're describing with financial abuse makes much more sense now. Yeah, I wouldn't be happy handing over equal control of the money I worked hard for to a girl that (if I had my way) is fresh out of college. You're right about arrested development when it comes to me at least. Like I said, I put career/money first, put myself in a place with no women so I could advance quickly, and lost out of a decade of life experiences in the process, more or less. Came away with lots of money but …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 11:05 AM
1

Thank you for the thoughtful response. That's actually really helpful. It's nice to talk to someone openly on the other team who doesn't resort to shaming just because she is told how men see things. Good for you for not indulging in gratuitous amounts of sex with every hot guy you've found (because you totally could have). I'm sure the guy you end up with will appreciate that a lot. Out of curiosity, you say that men 35+ don't turn you on. It's the exact same thing for me and women. Do you expe…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 10:34 AM
1

That's the reason why men start feeling urgency to settle down when we do - it's not that women stop being attracted to us. It's that women we are attracted to stop being attracted to us. Can't speak for other men, but personally I wouldn't marry an older woman for the same reasons I wouldn't marry a man. There needs to be attraction otherwise you're just roommates with your friend - which honestly might be acceptable on its own, but the the expectation of having to be sexually exclusive with so…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 03:44 AM
6

I think women are just better at dealing with emotions usually so they reach the acceptance stage of the breakup and move on, whereas men tend to remain stuck in one of the stages of grief basically forever and don't know how to process it or advance.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 09:24 PM
1

This is the answer. I suffered through 1.25 years of sexless romantic slog in order to earn sex from a woman who held it waaaay too far out of reach, until I'd properly proved myself. The honest truth I found out the hard way is any woman that can wait that long for sex isn't really a sexual person herself, and if you date her your sex life will suck. Let her have her passionless empty commitment with someone else and move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 09:17 PM
1

Actual answer: If we set the baseline at 100 for how much interest I get from women in their 30s at age 38, the amount of interest I get from women in their 20s is about a 4. This is despite spending 90% of my effort/likes on that age group. And they're mostly 28-29 (which isn't bad...). On the super-rare occasion a 25yo is interested in me, I always go into the date pre-set with the "I'm really lucky to have her" feeling before I even meet her, but then in my experience the 25 year olds that ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 08:08 PM
1

How did you forget that when you're thirty, women start massively screening out guys unless they say their primary goal is marriage. Preferably tomorrow.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 07:50 PM
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If you think all the meaning of relating to other people happens outside of sex, then I'm sorry to say it but you must not be having very good sex. During the first few dates when I'm listening to a woman talk about what movies she likes or what her goals are for this year or whatever, I'm not finding out anything important about her. Sex is the first time I actually meet someone. I really dislike that almost all women treat sex as some less valid form of connection. You really see your own role…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:18 AM
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Is this a philosophical question, or are there actually convincing sexbots now? You're just masturbating if its an object. It takes away all the meaning. This thread was about what keeps you happy in a relationship. I don't consider myself to have a relationship with my toaster.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 01:35 AM
0

Not the same
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:49 PM
0

That would be ideal, and come with the added bonus of variety. Unfortunately, it's about $300 / hr here for a good sex worker so I'd work 8 hours a day in exchange for 1 hour of sex and have no money left over to actually live. So I'm left to do my best in the world of dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 05:38 PM
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As a man, the single thing that makes me dislike men as a gender more than women (despite women as a whole often being ridiculous in their own ways) is that basically all men are completely full of shit when it comes to their success with women. Every man acts as though he has a million options and is absolutely swimming in pussy. Even though you're both likely facing the same problems and having the same sort of experience, you cannot relate to your fellow man or have any empathy for each other…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 03:12 PM
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Good sex is the only thing I need to make me happy in a relationship. But it's equally as important to minimize the stuff that makes me unhappy (and there's a lot of stuff in a relationship that can make me unhappy).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 02:56 PM
2

> And when a man doesn't want to get to know a woman as a PERSON (ie: friendship), we know immediately. Because only about 1 out of 50 women that want to connect to us on a personality level are also open to sleeping with us. I think all men have had the experience of becoming deeply invested in a woman as a person only for her to show no sexual interest at all. It makes sense that we'd filter for sexual interest before we invest the time to care about you as a person because at the end of the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 03:56 AM
1

This basically completely contradicts my mental model of how women work. Women are all about inertia. They have almost no desire to sleep with 99.9% of men at first, but if you get the ball rolling then it's almost impossible to stop it. I've been rejected before sex many, many times but I've never been broken up with by a girl that's slept with me more than once. Their enthusiasm automatically and uncontrollably grows without you doing anything once you start sleeping together (even if you'd pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 03:11 AM
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