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JimmyKrankiesHat Archive

View 2 posts and 12 comments by JimmyKrankiesHat on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

JimmyKrankiesHat/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 07:25 AM
1

JimmyKrankiesHat/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 03:47 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

43, 3yrs separated from ex/kids mum. My 2p below: Modern/internet dating is rough. My advice from the experience I've had the past 3yrs is 'Open Heart - Thick Skin'. I didn't know how to date after I separated. I had a great girl for 8 months initially but I hadn't given myself enough time to process out of the person I was with kids mum. Old reactions/behaviours stuck around and inevitably we're problematic. It ended and felt worse than the separation! Lessons learned, work done... I gently ret…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 09:12 PM
11

Great question. I love how this group manages to act in the interests of support, reflection and growth through posts like this. I think that on reflection, I realise that she wasn't always right, always making the best judgements, or making the best choices for our family. She's a strong character, very capable, very sociable - and that created a sense of security for me. I trusted her leadership implicitly, given I had come from a place of relative dissaray prior to meeting her. It felt like a…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 08:36 PM
1

First thing to say is that it is hard to cope. Not impossible, but hard. If you've been in emotional codependency, it really does take time to shift your dependency onto yourself. There's no safety net, no external 'mirror' to guide you any more. I had a terrible time, sunk into alcohol/substances etc. but I now see that as an almost necessary self-process to bed in my own boundaries and to finally understand that I am the only one responsible for ensuring my ability to show up for myself and my…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 12:44 PM
11

In my experience, the working on myself part works as a realignment of who I'm now serving - as other replies have said its now about strengthening my own resolve for myself and my kids and not about performing for her. Not that I've found it easy to shift the paradigm- that's been a matter of commitment over time. I suppose if it works for saving the partnership - great (maybe). If it doesn't, you've still benefited for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 12:15 PM
1

Huge thanks to all the supportive responses on this post. It has been a massive help. I'm sorry to hear that others are going through similar, but pleased to learn how you've all handled it- it's all advice I'll be taking on board. Just back from holiday with the kids and we had a great time, although it did take me a while to ease up. I realised I hadn't had a proper break from work like this since the separation. I've turned my frustration into being proactive. I usually let her get ahead with…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 11:59 AM
4

For me, once resentment took hold it eventually made the decision for us. You can never know if the grass is greener on the other side - you can only know what colour it is under your feet. What you are describing to me doesn't sound like a relationship that I'd be happy in at all. Other comments have already said everything else I could.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 09:44 PM
8

What I wish I'd *known* in the early days of separation was that seeking ways to still be a part of that wider community of parents, friends who were still together, wasn't the correct pathway forward. You are suddenly placed outside of that circle and it feels you are suddenly lacking and isolated. And I took it personally, and focussed too much on ways I could still be relevant within that structure. But I don't think one can. The whole social structure around parental friends and families is …
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 01:33 PM
2

For me, 2.5 years into separation, the confidence (or lack of) seems to come in waves, and I see that happen as my previous mental programming (from being with my ex) slowly breaks down- kind of periods where I'm feeling lost vs periods where I'm feeling together. My ex was also critical - all our problems were always 'down to me' and she never felt she needed to change ya know? and so I still have had those reflexes as I've dated over the past 2 years. I've no easy answers for ya- we're all on …
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 09:23 AM
1

Is this a thing? I thought it was just me! Dated for 6 months post separation with someone who really fit the bill and it just ended suddenly and I swear it almost broke me completely.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 09:38 AM
1

You're correct that my ex was a driver behind a lot of that when we were together as the mums usually are, and I have made efforts to arrange playdates so I've had a few here. Part of the issue is that they are categorically never reciprocated and it's difficult to not grow somewhat tired of that to the point of not bothering to ask any more. But I've maybe been lax so I take your advice as a reminder, thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 07:54 PM
1

Appreciate the response, I'll check the book out. And yes, I'm more than aware that working from home isn't helping with the isolation and it's something I'm looking at changing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 07:42 PM
2

I co-parent 50/50 and occasionally get a call/text when my youngest plays up with my ex. We of course love our children equally but I would say that I seem to understand my youngest's temperament more than my ex. Likewise, she seems to understand my eldest's temperament more than me. With that in mind, I value being able to have continued open communication about handling behaviour, it helps build a consistent approach across two households. That said, (and except in the most severe circumstance…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 04:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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