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Joelypoely88 Archive

View 0 posts and 351 comments by Joelypoely88 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

That seems like more of an American tendency. You can discuss subjects like biology, sociology, psychology without needing to intepret them through a political lens. Though there are certainly some occasions where there can be some crossover topics with politics, the pills are not inherently political.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 11:33 PM
1

I don't necessarily mind the judgement (it's interesting to get an honest perspective), though I will say generally there are additional factors people aren't aware of, people prefer to make assumptions. For example we were just friends for the first month or so, then gradually became closer. It's not as if she pursued me immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 05:47 AM
3

WOMEN TREAT MALE FRIENDSHIPS LIKE DATING. If you can't attract her, shes not going to want to be your friend either. Women want to be friends with attractive men, they don't want NOTHING to do with "unattractive" men for lovers OR (this is key) FRIENDSHIPS. Hard disagree with this part. Your attractiveness has little bearing on whether she wants to be friends with you (which is determined by things like common interests or what you can learn from each other), but it has the most bearing on wheth…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 05:38 AM
2

Coincidentally 26 and 51 were the exact ages of my GF and I when we met (she's the older one). In the ~5 years we've been together, only once has someone had a negative reaction to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 07:18 AM
1

Guilty of Romance (2011)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 02:08 AM
–

I met her at a hiking group. We were friends for a couple of months and I would sometimes invite her to join day hikes along with my other friends. One weekend she invited me away with her for a holiday. It was a great trip, so her and I started doing weekly vacations over those next few months.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 09:22 AM
1

Interestingly my dad has been divorced 3 times in his life. I did initially grow up with both parents, though they divorced when I was about 15.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:40 AM
2

But then you see a lot of the same guys chasing or hooking up with the complete opposite — outgoing "bad girls," high body count types, party girls, etc. — at least in their casual phase. Maybe it varies between guys but this part was never true for me. I can be good friends with that kind of woman but don't get romantic feelings for them. I've always just wanted: Kind and caring Loyal / faithful Not into heavy partying, clubbing every weekend, or sleeping around
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 06:17 PM
–

I guess 2-3 at the moment. It changes quite a bit as I've made close international friends who have later moved to other cities.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 11:08 PM
–

This is a good example of a common cognitive bias called the Halo/Horn effect
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 03:53 AM
4

It sounds a little bit like you're mixing up the concepts of SMV and RMV (unless you are asserting men are generally more physically attractive at 35 than at 25). SMV is just how sexually attractive someone is regardless of other factors like their career, assets, living situation etc. RMV takes those other factors into account.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 05:22 AM
–

Well I'm not sure if that proves or disproves your point if it only works for very attractive guys. In your post it sounded like you meant for men in general. If your average guy does that women just won't reach out to him
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 02:00 AM
–

Unfortunately I had a bit of a bad experience going to an ecstatic dance class. My friend was the instructor and she invited me to go. I was the only guy there and most of the women avoided me. At the end they were all making friends with each other, but none of them wanted to talk to me. Normally I make friends with women quite easily, but in that environment it felt like most of them were uncomfortable around me just because of my gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 07:36 AM
–

Fair enough, it seems to be getting you a lot of positive attention. I realised my preferences seem to be a bit of an outlier, I guess most guys are interested in women wearing makeup, lipstick, dyed hair etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 12:38 AM
–

Wow that's pretty interesting. I always wondered why so many people dye their hair, as for me people always look the best with their natural colour
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 12:06 AM
2

Yeah, emotional intelligence could be some combination of both the ability to perceive others' emotions and to self-regulate. Maybe some other things as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 03:10 AM
6

You're right, that would be very weird. I think people are just confused why many of her rule-breaking posts (no rants, posts should be in good faith, no posting compulsively etc.) are allowed to stay up. I won't go into it more, that just seems to be the general opinion I've seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 02:36 AM
4

Oh that's really interesting. I thought being high in neuroticism can be partially what causes people to lose control of their own emotions and take them out on others.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 01:44 AM
8

I would guess also being low in trait Neuroticism
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:26 AM
3

No, just someone who is petite
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 11:25 PM
32

If you're asking about pill-related views specifically, initially it made me slightly less redpilled, but then later more blackpilled. The reason for the latter is I realised she chose me since (1) I'm almost twice as tall as her and (2) I was in excellent shape when we met. It's really great that we've been able to bond over shared interests and have many amazing experiences together, but if those two factors weren't the case it's quite likely we would have ended up just as good friends rather …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 10:15 PM
4

A lot of the time negative feelings arise from people being lied to or at least having the truth obfuscated in their youth. I think one of the first steps is through education and making it more acceptable in society to discuss topics like what traits people are fundamentally attracted to according to their instincts. With less censorship gradually people may discover their negativity is sometimes misplaced towards particular individuals, rather the conflicts are caused by fundamental difference…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 06:08 AM
–

Thank you for sharing those, very interesting articles
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 09:14 PM
3

Most guys are not arrogant, lazy, resentful, entitled, disrespectful of boundaries etc. If that's your experience it's likely the specific kind of guys you're choosing to go on dates with
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 09:27 PM
15

Probably about 70%. Having a relationship was life-changing, and my depression disappeared.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 11:42 PM
3

3 is closest to the option I'd recommend. To an extent attractiveness can be improved by going to the gym (would recommend that anyway), but it can't guarantee turning an average looking guy into a conventionally attractive guy, what is required for successful pursuit of casual sex. It is indeed possible for an autistic introverted guy to improve his social skills and gradually enjoy more the process of socialising over many years (would recommend that anyway), but ultimately his appearance will…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 09:06 PM
1

Emotionally stable, loyal, intellectually curious
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 02:05 AM
5

I've accepted that as a possibility, and realised it hasn't happened and actually probably won't happen. Her and I love each other very much and enjoy taking care of each other, but ultimately we are from different generations. Realistically a 25 year age gap can never be a normal relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 09:05 AM
-3

Because I know my GF very well. She's much older than me and has even previously encouraged me to find someone closer to my age. Not all relationship situations are the same
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 08:43 AM
-6

Definitely not, that's quite a big assumption to make
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 08:23 AM
-7

In this hypothetical can I still be friends with my current GF, or does she completely disappear? My honest ideal would be a new GF, but I'm still close friends with my former GF
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 08:12 AM
–

There is happening a lot of derailing in discussions, people unironically go in a thread and never ever are actually talk about the core question. Derailing is a toxic discussion tactic and shouldt be allowed On one hand I agree with you. The last couple of times I tried to debate blue pillers they would continually ignore my main point and start ranting about something else. It immediately wasn't worth trying to debate with them. On the other hand there used to be a no derailing rule here but i…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 09:52 PM
1

Generally I haven't found that to be the case. At least for the women I've met who are naturally beautiful. Though you might have a good case for women who use a lot of makeup, lipstick etc. having more shallow personalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 03:27 AM
0

Some parts I do agree with you there, though my overall point was for it to count as an 'approach' there must be some expression of romantic interest. Going up to someone and asking about copying notes or whatever does not communicate anything specifically more than that, thus it is not an approach in the context of dating. Just yesterday I was at a backpackers and the girl there spontaneously started talking to me about what she was doing on her laptop. From her mannerisms it was immediately ob…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 07:00 AM
1

Right, to add to that those first couple of examples are platonic/friendship approaches, not dating approaches. From the guy's perspective there's no indicator there whether she intends a platonic or romantic connection. As you say, very different to IOIs.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 03:39 AM
3

Mostly this is a great comment but this part is a very common misunderstanding: Now If you take this reality and it just crushes you and you just give up because you feel there’s no hope for you to win, then you are blackpilled. Black pill is simply the idea that the factors outside of your control carry more weight in determining attraction than those within your control. That does not necessitate utter hopelessness or giving up, it's just understanding the situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 09:15 PM
1

Yes (she's old, but not overweight or ugly)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 02:48 AM
2

I've never experienced anger towards dating, but have felt resignation sometimes. On a base level men and women are just following their biological programming. I can more understand if someone has a feeling of anger towards 'god' or 'nature' or whatever force created a potentially miserable situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 02:26 PM
–

Would you date a woman who uses cocaine at least once a month? No Would you date a woman who doesn't like drinking alcohol? Yes Would you date a woman who doesn't like doing physical activity? Probably no Would you date a woman who voted for Donald Trump? Not applicable Would you date a woman who voted for Kamala Harris? Not applicable Would you date a woman who openly dislikes religion? Yes Would you date a woman who has Bipolar Syndrome? No Would you date a woman who wants to make sex tapes wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 08:37 AM
1

Would you date a woman who is a different race from your own? Yes, currently am Would you date a woman who is a different religion from your own? Probably yes Would you date a woman who smokes? No Would you date a woman who goes to church every Sunday? Probably no Would you date a woman who is asexual? Probably no Would you date a woman who lives 1000 miles away from you? No Would you date a woman who is an alcoholic? No Would you date a woman who does OF? No Would you date a woman who has two k…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 11:16 PM
14

That's literally it. I promise everyone, if you were constantly around beautiful, wonderful people, you'd have a partner. You'd naturally learn how to be social, navigate the complexities of managing a social group, naturally bond with people. Some parts of your post I agree with, though I have to push back on this part which is too idealistic. Being constantly being exposed to new interesting people and forming more social groups may dramatically increase your chances but it does not guarantee …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 04:26 AM
–

There was no line saying that only one of them could be saved
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:07 PM
–

Both of them should be able to fit
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:57 PM
12

It can be a few factors simultaneously. E.g. She has a naturally flirty personality, touches you a lot. You notice you both have lots of common interests/values so seem compatible. She's always laughing and smiling around you. You share some deep personal things about your life with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 09:03 PM
4

Most of those are green flags (though looks/personality is more important). I dated someone similar to that and the only downside was that she was busy with work/stocks all the time, so we didn't have quite enough time to spend together.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 10:31 PM
1

Perhaps I phrased it poorly, as the aim should be to create less of a gender war here. It's more that I noticed if one poster is (possibly) posting negatively about one gender regularly, it seems a bit sexist.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 08:49 AM
1

That's a good post
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 08:44 AM
2

I'm quite curious about "2. I don't tolerate sexism". Do you about equally make posts critical of some women's behaviour, or mostly always about men?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 08:27 AM
17

Well said. I'll add also that for many people, it's important to develop some awareness of which qualities they are subconsciously attracted to. For some people they will say they value emotional maturity, but in their actions they are drawn to immature behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:58 AM
–

INTP
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 02:03 AM
–

People commonly misunderstand what the black pill is, it is not necessarily fatalistic (though there is a subset of black pillers who are fatalistic). Black pill is simply the belief that the factors outside of your control carry a greater weight in attractiveness than the factors within your control. It does not imply that 'it's all over' or that one shouldn't put effort into self-improvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/24 09:18 PM
1

Mostly black with some red Gradually from blue, to red, to black More life experience and comprehension/interactions with people I don't really see it as 'my pill', just whatever information appears to represent the truth of human mating dynamics. It doesn't necessarily have to fit in just one category I would go back to blue pill upon seeing facially unattractive, short men having the same romantic success as facially attractive, tall men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 11:35 PM
8

This has led to an increase in superficial traits and more selfishness/hedonism from men, which they complain about constantly. Buts what's to be expected when those things are rewarded with more frequent sexual success. Well said. It's a painful realisation for many but undeniably accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 10:16 PM
–

Nah, that's too reductive. There's far more to strong romantic feelings than just sex. If there's a big mismatch of feelings then it's best for both parties to end the friendship, it doesn't make either person a worse friend than the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 12:54 PM
–

Some very good points there, especially the one about not noticing as much the more stable/healthy relationships. From an outside perspective it's a shame when some people have the mindset that it's normal to go through some bad relationships to find a good relationship, when they could have just been more careful with their selection criteria from the beginning. One problem, however, is that some people construe emotional instability as exciting and stability as boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 05:26 AM
–

I still don't quite see it. It seems people will generally select for someone immature and incompatible with their own values, who they find very physically attractive; than someone who has shared values with them but they find less physically attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 02:48 AM
–

Some of this I certainly agree with and well said. Though with the right mature person relationships aren't really that hard (initially you may have some difficulties but they are sorted out in the first few months). For many people it's much harder to get the romantic attention to get into a relationship in the first place than to maintain it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:01 AM
3

Well said. I often see people here refer to RP as an ideology when it is actually a praxeology.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 10:28 PM
–

Very interesting to read. My mum sounds similar to your dad. Eventually I stopped trying to understand her and accepted she won't ever quite be normal, realising she will never lose that narcissism. If anyone suggests to her she could try therapy her brain will immediately rationalise it as other people being the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:27 PM
6

From what I've seen not for most guys, party girls still have very high looks standards. For the guys who are tall and facially attractive, mostly yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 03:08 AM
2

Ah okay I guess we were talking about different things. I was meaning men in general rather than just the top men
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 01:53 AM
7

Men fantasize about having a girlfriend, they want girls that other men want and other women are jealous of. No, that's what women want (a boyfriend who is desired by lots of members of the opposite sex). Men generally prefer a girlfriend who has none or very few other guys interested in her.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 11:52 PM
33

I guess being considered more sort of approachable/not creepy by default in some cases. I attended a yoga/dance event recently (the instructor is my friend and had invited me), and was the only guy there with about 20 women. After the class most of them talked amongst themselves and made friends with each other. Some of them avoided me when I tried to make casual conversation and I got the sense they felt a bit uncomfortable around me just because I'm a male.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 06:26 PM
4

I haven't noticed them having high looks standards to be honest, but perhaps high standards for personality type, values, compatible sociosexuality and lifestyle etc. Your theory could still be correct though as we might just be thinking of different kinds of guys, maybe even from different generations.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 04:32 AM
2

Ideal for me would be the opposite, if I find her very attractive and no one else desires her.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 04:30 AM
2

Oh wow. Saw a guy running the other day who was pretty much doing exactly that. It looked like something an athlete might be doing as part of their training regime.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 06:26 AM
1

Oh interesting. It can be difficult to pace yourself on ~15K runs if you're the kind of person who sort of just wants to keep sprinting.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 06:19 AM
1

Distance. Luckily have a good route nearby which goes along the beach and through a reserve. Sort of forms a loop which can be extended if needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 06:04 AM
2

It depends on all kinds of factors like how close you live to the gym, and whether you are able to go at non-busy hours. These days I find it easier and more fulfilling to just go for an outdoor run from home.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 05:49 AM
–

Interestingly a few of these comments are already supporting the claim in your title, quite a few dismissive replies so far (possibly demonstrating a common lack of empathy)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 08:59 PM
–

It pretty much completely 'cured' my depression, hasn't been back since before having that first relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 01:02 PM
3

Sure, it improves my life in an indirect way. I'm here because a key motivating force in my life is the search for truth, so I'm interested in seeing various perspectives on topics related to human psychology and mating patterns. It can be fascinating to learn what the 'average' person thinks about these topics, rather than just reading the perspectives of experts through textbooks etc. Yes, there is some mild censorship here which is not ideal, but overall this is sub is a decent resource (thou…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 04:05 AM
9

I think there are good arguments on both sides, in the sense that it's essentially existentialism vs. nihilism. From Peterson's perspective I guess he is potentially afraid of the consequences of nihilism becoming widespread (often the blue and red pills are more associated with existentialism, and the black pill with nihilism hence why many people are afraid of it). There is good reason for that as many people are not equipped to handle a state of complete freedom with its possible lack of purp…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 02:44 PM
3

I met her at a hiking group. We weren't even attracted to each other at first (she's 25 years older than me). She was kind and friendly so over those next couple of months I invited her for hikes with my other friends. One weekend she invited me on a trip with her. We slept in the same bed without me even knowing I was supposed to initiate something (had zero romantic experience at that point). But the next week she invited me on another trip and it went from there, later telling me she was surp…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 11:33 PM
13

You've summed it up well there. Just anecdotally, I noticed I wasn't connecting with (or possibly meeting the expectations of) women in my age range (20's), then starting connecting more easily and deeply with women around 40+.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:10 AM
7

the female/male ratio is pretty much 4-1 People might be skeptical about that but you're not wrong. I remember going on one in Eastern Australia in my early 20's, it was about 3 men and 20 women. It was such a fun time meeting so many travellers (many of them Germans) and exploring the nature there.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 09:45 AM
–

INTP
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 08:57 AM
1

I've had some good 'pick-me' friends and have generally found they have lots of male friends. For dating that might be considered a yellow flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 01:16 AM
1

Ah okay, that's fair
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 01:30 AM
1

I definitely agree with some of this, but also think some significant aspects are missing which fall under self-improvement. Building up muscle and being physically active takes time and effort. People who pursue it have to hit the gym consistently for years while increasing the weight and difficultly for the exercises in turn. They have to watch what they eat so you can have enough protein to build muscle and maintain it while shedding the fat. They have to do the right exercises in the right a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 01:13 AM
4

Well said OP. I do find those Blue pilled posts quite funny, but really the effects can be quite tragic if people take them too seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 12:37 PM
–

I was excited to go on my first ever date (was mid 20's at the time), then she friendzoned me before we even reached the restaurant
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 06:45 AM
1

I do like the concept of your post, however the irony is your guideline contains an error. Blackpill is not necessarily about hopelessness/negativity, it is simply having the belief that the factors outside of your control carry more weight in determining attraction than those within your control.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 10:51 PM
2

It's a good question, might also depend on their age and economic situation. Just anecdotally, my friend dated a Chinese/French-Canadian woman who expected him to pay for everything while she was making more than him. However when I dated a Chinese woman, it was almost the opposite in that she wanted to pay every time and I actually had to insist that I should pay sometimes. I don't think necessarily it is always to do with cultural background, though of course it can be a factor sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 10:41 PM
0

For me the most likely sign of flirting (although there are no guarantees) is them touching the other person during conversation pretty frequently, or more than necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 01:30 PM
3

Oh I was more meaning in general, however it did apply to me a year or so ago. I'm living somewhere quite isolated now so my immediate goal is moving to another part of the country.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 03:13 AM
9

If you can’t get what you want, getting something that you don’t want isn’t going to make you happy. Well said. Having great friends can really improve your quality of life, but it can't completely replace a person's desire (or need) for romantic love.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 02:07 AM
21

I think what turns people to the other pills is when they easily experience just make friends, meet and hang out with new people regularly but this part never happens to them just naturally end up dating the people they get along with
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 01:39 AM
1

It's quite surreal what streaming has become. I've always enjoyed simply gameplay of an interesting game being streamed with a bit of expert commentary. The dynamic has kind of flipped as mainstream audiences are much more interested in IRL drama content and 'degeneracy'.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 11:38 AM
15

The truth of human mating preferences is not always pretty, not everyone can handle it. Hence we see quite a huge emotional backlash to the 'non-blue' pills as well as obfuscation of these truths. Many people who are not philosophers/scientists/psychologists/sociologists will place more value on what they wish to be true than what the evidence/research shows. It's not an easy process to overcome the restructuring of your previous worldview.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 05:35 AM
2

Absolutely, I can never forget that quote.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 05:07 AM
2

Exactly. It's quite sad/bizarre seeing so many responses defaulting to 'which could theoretically harm me more'
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 03:44 AM
–

Thanks for explaining, it's quite an interesting topic
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 10:37 PM
–

Can you elaborate more on point #1? Your other points mostly make sense to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 09:15 PM
9

The philosopher Schopenhauer had a pretty interesting idea about that. (Roughly) for him suicide is an act of ultimate willing, whereas apathy and that specific type of depression would be the absence of will.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 01:22 AM
4

A bit more context would be useful here as to what you mean by a 'red pill lifestyle'. From my own experience (29M who was dating a 54F) the older partner prefers to lead in many organisational matters, however the younger partner can lead in other ways which are equally valuable (e.g. taking her on fun adventures). What's most important is that he can give her that feeling/experience of being much younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 07:36 AM
7

Completely agree, fantastic post
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 11:21 PM
4

This is one of the best comments I've read here for a long time
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 03:39 AM
–

I would try to reframe it as not 'insulting' them, but rather making fun of something they like in a playful way. For example maybe they enjoy a music artist which could be considered girly, or maybe they have a habit which could be considered childish.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 02:10 AM
2

I thought the whole appeal of it was the DND dice roll system.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 11:06 PM
–

The factors outside of your control carry much more weight in determining your dating success/failure than those you can improve on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 04:27 AM
12

Women should disqualify men who mock/belittle other men in an attempt to impress her or make her laugh
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 03:32 AM
2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGB6qb40ans
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 01:22 AM
5

There was a similar thread recently and I agreed with one response which approximately said: "I'd go back to be being blue pilled the moment short, ugly guys are desired by women equally as much as tall, handsome guys."
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:36 PM
5

It can depend on too many different factors for it to be an automatic red flag, more like a yellow flag. Sometimes the guy is gay, sometimes they just have a brother/sister dynamic, sometimes they are a family friend and have known each other since childhood. You need more information before making a judgement.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 08:16 AM
–

RuneScape
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 12:06 PM
3

Thank you, appreciate it
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 10:06 PM
8

Sure. Overall it has been a great experience. We met at a hiking group, and afterwards started going on some vacations together. Have been together for 2 years now. There have been a few challenges, one of them being that she is usually very busy with work, but we've gradually found more ways to spend time together. In some ways we are pretty much complete opposites of each other so it has been a lesson in both of us discovering what are the factors which draw us together so strongly. For advice…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 09:50 PM
2

Yep, have been together for 2 years now
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 09:22 PM
20

Well I do agree with you that very few people care that much (I'm 28 and my GF is 53, we haven't received any disdain from others), though I'm not sure what the exact premise/proposition/claim is you are trying to debate here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 11:43 AM
–

Of those I've seen: S+ tier - Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Spirited Away S tier - Grave of the Fireflies, Princess Mononoke A tier - Castle in the Sky, Howl's Moving Castle, Porco Rosso B tier - Kiki's Delivery Service, My Neighbor Totoro, The Tale of the Princess Kaguya, Whisper of the Heart
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 04:59 AM
14

Just thought I should mention the reverse Halo Effect is already called the 'Horn Effect' in psychology.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 09:14 PM
77

The men who are generally not very attractive or successful but who are absolutely lovely, funny, and respectful will be able to get sex pretty easily and ultimately find a partner. Almost every woman I know would happily give most guys with a good personality a chance, regardless of their status or physical appearance. This is how most of us wish the world was, but unfortunately it is not reflected in reality (aside from them possibly eventually finding a partner, though not 'easily').
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 03:45 AM
–

Overall the best library for sure (though a few of these are multiplats) ATV Offroad Fury 4 Crash Tag Team Racing Final Fantasy X/XII Disney's Extreme Skate Adventure Grand Theft Auto III/Vice City/San Andreas Jak X Kingdom Hearts 1/2 Lord of the Rings: The Third Age MotorStorm: Arctic Edge Need for Speed Most Wanted/Carbon Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Shadow of the Colossus Simpson's Hit & Run Spyro: A Hero's Tail Star Wars Battlefront 1/2 Tony Hawk's Underground 1/2 Yu-Gi-Oh! The Duelis…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 08:35 PM
–

Your Black pill one is completely wrong, the other ones are reasonably accurate
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 08:18 PM
2

Exactly. Occasionally in life I've made good friends with women with these traits (especially when you go travelling), but her and I wouldn't be romantically compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 12:23 AM
3

I don't entirely disagree, though there is a subjective element there. You could alternately also say "Average men are considered below average by women, which is the root of many problems in dating."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 03:26 AM
–

No, the only term I find cringe is 'significant other'
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 05:38 AM
5

Overall, sure. Though you should also mention the desirable traits they may gain with more life experience; such as maturity, intellectual curiosity, being more decisive, knowing how to better please their partner, more likely to be financially stable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 09:37 AM
5

'Social skills' and 'Dating/romantic skills' are two different things with not much crossover.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 09:34 PM
–

When I was in that situation a few years ago the difficult parts were: (1) Despite friendzoning me, she was always excited to see me and kept touching me and flirting frequently and (2) I thought I would really hurt her feelings by cutting her off. In retrospect the correct thing to do was to completely cut her off and not feel bad about it, but it wasn't so clear at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 12:18 AM
1

A couple of essays: On Women and The Metaphysics of Sexual Love by Arthur Schopenhauer
/r/AllPillDebate08/11/23 01:27 AM
1

Censorship would make this just as bad as PPD is gradually becoming
/r/AllPillDebate07/11/23 09:07 PM
2

Hence vetting is important, for someone who matches or exceeds your own maturity. It is absolutely worth it if you choose (or are chosen by) the right woman. You don't necessarily have to be chad, but she has to perceive you as one to respect you.
/r/AllPillDebate04/11/23 12:30 AM
6

You've summed up the baselines quite well and succinctly, nothing much to add to it. Just in general, one incredibly common mistake I see here is people referring to red pill as an ideology, when it is actually a praxeology (theory of human action/behaviour). Maybe it's not your aim for this topic (perhaps another day), but I'd be interested to see your summation of black pill as well. Recently that is where I've noticed the most confusion/misunderstanding/misrepresentation has occurred.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 11:40 PM
4

On Women - Arthur Schopenhauer If you associate blackpill with philosophical pessimism: The Conspiracy Against the Human Race - Thomas Ligotti The works of Emil Cioran, they have titles such as On the Heights of Despair and The Trouble With Being Born
/r/AllPillDebate01/11/23 07:16 PM
5

I'd guess Women: 5 or 6 Men: 7
/r/AllPillDebate27/10/23 07:40 AM
5

This may already be assumed, but it's always important with this topic to point out there are different types of loneliness which are not contingent on each other. Romantic loneliness, Friendship loneliness and Family loneliness are different problems with different solutions. As for the post itself, it's difficult to argue for or against it as it is filled with generalisations about particular types of men. Most men I've met are not that way, but a few are.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 11:44 PM
2

Naturally, probably yes. Though tastes can change dramatically as you get older.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 05:26 AM
7

Inviting me out alone with her and quite directly letting me know she likes me as more than a friend. Some extroverted women will flirt with you and want to spend lots of time together, but it's just for fun and doesn't necessarily mean she's attracted to you (learned that the hard way).
/r/AllPillDebate19/10/23 01:56 AM
1

Physically I'd be about the same. I would have become vegetarian earlier in life. I would have put a bit more effort into keeping my teeth in better shape (they are still healthy now but have a tinge of yellow). I would have had a GF at around 19-22, there was a girl in university who was certainly interested in me (we were in some of the same classes and sometimes even took the same bus home) but I was always too nervous to talk to her. I did finally get a GF at 27, though who knows if I would …
/r/AllPillDebate18/10/23 09:13 PM
3

I can only think of one. A guy I knew from high school who is now obese (not a bad guy from what I remember, but not remarkable either), and married to a gorgeous woman. They are both Christian so I guess their strong faith keeps them together.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 09:51 PM
22

To make a fair argument, I think it's important to also discuss the point that women may often desire men who treat them well, but are assholes to other men (going beyond normal banter by acting rude/disrespectful as a display of social dominance). Sometimes that's where the disconnect comes from.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 04:48 AM
1

To an extent you can get lucky and find someone who is not so shallow etc. With the things you're referring to, the paradox is if your behaviour is naturally paranoid or jealous that can itself provoke her to cheat, when actually she wasn't even considering it.
/r/AllPillDebate13/10/23 09:50 AM
5

I don't think I've properly imagined it, but there were times when I wondered (with women who friendzoned me) if the outcome would be completely different simply if I was more facially attractive. I did eventually get a GF so I shouldn't ruminate on those kinds of negative experiences.
/r/AllPillDebate10/10/23 08:27 AM
–

I'm in that situation and it has been great to be honest. She actually prefers me not to spend money or to get her gifts, which has been a bit strange to adapt to, but there are many other small things I can do for her which make her feel loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 08:46 AM
1

Interesting. Have you/would you still feel that fear if he was physically smaller than you? I'm curious where that feeling originates from. I've never cold approached myself for various reasons, but if I theoretically did at the very worst it could just be an awkward interaction. Never would I imagine the other person could feel scared of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 06:02 AM
8

Good one "The ceaseless efforts to banish suffering achieve only a change in its form."
/r/AllPillDebate03/10/23 01:12 PM
4

Haven't noticed it at all. Generally I've found both types of people you describe haven't easily found relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 04:32 AM
1

28
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 07:27 PM
3

Q2M: do you seek girlfriends that are much younger? What are your reasons? The opposite really. Believe it or not my GF is 25 years older than me. I seem to get on best with women 5-15 years older. Not that I'd necessarily rule out younger women if I was single. That said of course it's an exception/outlier. I've had a couple of friends who were in their 30's, dating women in their early 20's.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 12:50 PM
1

In a way you are on to something, however I'd say the diminishing returns only come after being considered 8/10+ The default looks threshold is probably 7/10, not 5 or 6
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 12:36 PM
–

This might be a crude way to put it, but one reason is 'easy mode' vs. 'hard mode'. If you've had continual romantic success in life by 'just being yourself' you generally don't have that additional motivation or drive for information which often compels people to search for answers.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 09:53 PM
3

In most ways we are complete opposites: She's 25 years older I'm of European descent, she's Chinese I'm about 1.5 times taller I'm vegetarian, she's not. Her diet/taste in food is much simpler I'm Agnostic, she's Christian I'm more introverted, she's more extroverted I'm interested in arts/humanities subjects, she's interested in economics/stock trading (thus she's also much wealthier) Though we do at least have a few overlapping values, and a few similar tastes/interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 09:34 PM
2

Ah sure. I know it's a bit bizarre (we're also from different cultures). We met at a hiking group. I only became interested in older women these past few years. Should also add my GF looks around 35, so it was a bit of a shock when she told me her age.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 08:17 AM
1

28M with 53F 1.5 years 3-5 times a week Not at all for the first few months She has a son who I haven't met Most often her
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:43 PM
1

Interesting, fair enough. It makes me realise many people just inherently don't have that personality type you describe (sly and competitive), and they would probably never be redpilled by your definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 12:41 PM
2

I agree with some parts and disagree with other parts of your view here. What you've got spot on is that many of us here are more blackpilled than redpilled if we truly think about it. Red pilled guys, actual red pilled guys are simply making themselves attractive, having sex without commitment and not harping on or arguing about it, and have accepted blue pill fantasies are never going to happen I found this interesting. What's your opinion on guys who have put in this kind of work for years (s…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 12:20 PM
1

Currently: 4-5/10 At my peak fitness: 6.5/10 Facially I'm below average. Decent height and build, but need 6-8 months in the gym to get back into the shape I was in a few months ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 08:45 AM
3

Just like unrestrained economic liberalism, and for similar reasons, sexual liberalism produces phenomena of absolute pauperization. Some men make love every day; others five or six times in their life, or never. Some make love with dozens of women; others with none...Sexual liberalism is likewise an extension of the domain of the struggle, its extension to all ages and all classes of society. Michel Houellebecq
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 08:38 AM
1

27
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 08:56 AM
5

Yep, fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 04:19 AM
7

You are correct, though I'm pretty sure we've had this exact topic 3-5 times before.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 03:53 AM
2

It's generally not too depressing, especially compared to some other super blue-pilled mainstream subs. After spending a while here you improve your ability to detect when people are genuinely expressing their conception of truth/lived experience vs. just virtue signalling.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 05:45 AM
1

For an alternative perspective: Generally speaking (there are many exceptions), not paying 50/50 for the first date is akin to simping. The person being paid for is being accorded higher value just because of their gender or attractiveness. If average people are okay with doing that for a slightly higher chance of success with someone more attractive, I suppose it's effective enough. As to whether not engaging in this form of 'simping' is losing out, not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 08:41 AM
1

I might be missing the point but isn't potential/future earnings inherently tied to RMV, not SMV, by definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 10:52 AM
4

Very interesting, thanks for sharing. Asian women certainly seem to age really well (my older GF is 53 and looks 35-40). It can be tough dealing with the challenges of having both a significant age gap, and being from different cultures. Congratulations on being able to make the marriage work. It's quite the journey you've had together. In my case It seems unlikely her and I will marry (28M with 53F). She's very independent, travels a lot, and even cohabitation is a huge step for her, plus she h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 06:05 AM
1

Anecdotally mine didn't happen deliberately either. I thought she was around 35. A month into our relationship she told me she's 52 (25 years older than me!). I think she was quite nervous I'd reject her or something on that basis.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 05:42 AM
1

Ah, that makes sense
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:45 AM
51

Fit 50 year old. Looking at those pictures makes me realise my GF looks really good for a 53 year old (not that incredible level of fitness depicted, but far less wrinkles etc.).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 03:11 AM
1

I see, okay. Yes I guess it can especially depend on the approximate age/maturity of the younger person. With such a significant age difference (in my case 28 and 53 for instance) the difficult part is determining if it is even possible to have a normal relationship, and if not how are you able to spend time together while navigating very different stages of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 10:40 AM
4

Just curious, how much of an outlier is a younger man with a much older woman? That's the type of relationship I'm in (and maybe some others here) but I rarely see it discussed here. Do the same potential reasons for divorce apply?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 05:50 AM
14

Where to begin here... So I think the second half of your post is generally bang-on (good job with that), but some of the bullet points in the first half are completely off. Is not very masculine at all; lacks healthy competitiveness, decisiveness, ambition and assertiveness or leadership... I don't think competitiveness is a defining trait of masculinity (though it can be associated with it). Nor is leadership necessarily. Perhaps you could find other arguments to support the idea that the aver…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 11:45 AM
8

Agree with most of that, but thought I should clarify that being 'black pilled' is not the same as 'incel', the latter is only a subset group of the former. You'll see more black pillers self-improving and going to the gym than you'd initially think.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 09:19 PM
3

I wouldn't start a post with 'this is a rant' as it makes it quite likely to be removed.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 09:43 AM
2

I think I've been playing too much Skyrim. My first thought was stealth archer builds are okay (and potentially overpowered if you know how to utilise it), but I have more fun with conjuration + melee two-handed weapon
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 11:44 PM
1

I see, that makes sense. I've only lived in New Zealand and Australia. They aren't perfect either of course, though Australia generally seems to have quite a strong fitness oriented culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 01:32 AM
1

That's incredible to me. Not necessarily doubting it, it just defies what I see in everyday life (if the claim was mildly overweight I could believe that, but borderline obese?). Is the US particularly inflating the Western average that much?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 12:21 AM
3

It can really depend on situation, I wouldn't make a judgement until I've properly gotten to know both of them. I've met some lovely couples with that kind of age gap and in those cases it didn't feel creepy at all. However I'm also not a fan of the argument: 'if it's legal then it's justifiable'.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 04:12 AM
–

But now it’s a bunch of people with TRP ideologies who don’t even want to debate anyone, they have such a skewed negative selective focus, choosing the comments that verify their own beliefs to reply to and ignore all the rest if not majority of the comments Just the other day a notorious blue-pilled poster (not naming who they are), created a popular post and did exactly that. The post was not deleted.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 12:28 AM
–

Ah cool, will take a look
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 10:13 AM
–

Haha, IDK I just find Japan produces brilliant composers.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 10:10 AM
–

It's great, we usually listen to nice piano music. I'd recommend something like Joe Hisaishi, Marika Takeuchi, Kyle Landry, Yoko Shimomura.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 10:04 AM
2

Sure, that is possible
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 04:51 AM
2

Now that is interesting. In your experience what percentage of the men are introverts?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 04:29 AM
1

I don't know the actual science, just speculating here, but I think women have a strong inherent need or desire for socialisation. There are always exceptions of course, but that's the general trend I've noticed, along with a love for verbal communication more pronounced than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 04:25 AM
6

I haven't really noticed that correlation, but it could be true. I've moreso simply noticed that introverted women are very rare in general (regardless of attractiveness in my own experience).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 04:01 AM
4

Not doubting your experience whatsoever, and none of that is pleasant, appropriate or conducive to a functional society. That final line is the one which surprises me. None of my three sisters, my mother, female friends, or girlfriend has experienced any of those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:33 AM
3

I'm not saying that at all. Of course it depends on which kind of experiences we are referring to with the word 'terrifying'. For example there are plenty of genuinely terrifying experiences, assault or rape, being mugged etc. However the interesting thing is the abstract nature of the language being used, so someone on this sub might also say they had a bad date with an unattractive guy who was a bit too persistent (but nothing terrible actually happened) and they might use the word 'terrifying…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:12 AM
17

As a kind of analogy, I always think about the idea that people are far more statistically likely to experience a car crash than an aeroplane crash in their lives, yet they are much more likely to hyper-fixate on the latter possibility than the former. In the same way, people retelling particular experiences here (especially if they are high in trait neuroticism) will tell it in a way which hyper-fixates on particular negative moments they have experienced on several occasions in their life. Yet…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 11:56 PM
3

Quite interesting reading through these replies. I'm in between black and red myself, and for me the key difference between those pills is whether or not you have the belief that the factors outside of your control carry more weight in attraction than those within your control. I guess being an 'incel' would be on the extreme end of blackpill to where that person believes the factors within one's control carry so little weight that they are not worth putting any effort into. With the word 'incel…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 12:07 PM
3

I appreciate the honesty here, especially your final paragraph
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 01:08 AM
16

You make a good point here, in general I don't notice men being respected more or less than women. It's usually more to do with age/experience than gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 12:31 AM
41

I was given no advice at all. It was something which was just expected would happen naturally.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/23 12:52 PM
–

Staying at backpackers. Easy way to make loads of interesting international friends
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/23 05:55 AM
1

Hearthstone Battlegrounds
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 10:00 PM
1

Technically no, but as a general rule yes. My GF approached me, but it's an outlier of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 03:06 AM
6

Not really to be honest (I have 3 sisters). It definitely made me more sympathetic to their struggles outside of romance/dating. But for dating they are all badly overweight and have had no problem at all getting partners. They mostly live easy, simple lives and there's nothing wrong with that that I can see (they are satisfied). It's just another 'difficulty mode' being born a man, with other challenges.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 09:20 PM
4

In my life the difficult ones were when she loves your personality, is happy and excited to see you all the time, but does not find you sufficiently attractive. I would feel bad disappointing them by cutting off the friendship, but it was the right thing for my mental wellbeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/23 09:56 PM
18

28 25-35
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 11:16 AM
–

I would say I'm more blackpilled than red (people generally completely misinterpret what it is, but that's an explanation for another time). In a sense I'm more satisfied to understand the reality, even if I'd much prefer the reality of romance/sexuality was more aligned with bluepilled idealism. When certain women in my life at particular times exhibit behaviour I'd once find baffling, I'm now in a better position to understand their motives. I would say access to this information is especially…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 11:28 PM
2

To me very overweight = below average, though my age range is lower than the images and I'm not from the US. B could possibly represent the average girl though would need more information.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/23 06:28 AM
5

Right, I was leaning towards yes but I'm not sure 'shamed' is quite the right word.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/23 04:57 AM
2

Very, very rarely do I hear the term 'incel' used in real life. On PPD it seems to be a huge boogeyman many seem to be hostile towards.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 09:55 PM
–

The question is how rare is it to find a relationship where there are very few unnecessary/unwanted expectations placed on you? In a relationship you should be able to relax and not have to go above and beyond to please her, if she's sufficiently attracted/the right match you retain your freedoms to no detriment.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 08:07 AM
–

Very well said, nothing more for me to add to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 06:17 AM
4

Your first paragraph is super interesting. I know your intentions are good however I wouldn't assume he has a problem making female friends. Being able to make close platonic connections with women and them finding you romantically attractive are two different things. I do appreciate that your heart is coming from the right place though.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/23 10:42 PM
7

If men are willing to comprise their standards and “date down” why should they care if the women their seeing is sleeping with other men if they clearly don’t love her? Generally men are against it precisely because they do love her? And they want their connection to feel somewhat unique/special.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/23 12:01 AM
1

Compatibalism vs. Hard Determinism
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 07:26 AM
2

Maybe No No No No Maybe Maybe No No *Should probably add that I'm not American
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/23 08:55 PM
15

Yes and no. I'm in an age gap relationship myself (28M with 53F), and while attraction is the key factor which started it, it's not that easy to have a normal relationship with such a big difference in life experience. I find she's very independent and busy all the time, and we're not quite able to 'grow together'. If you're more just talking about short-term/sex, that's another thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 05:11 AM
5

I think that's the best argument for your case. While he's happy either way, you could argue there's a reality where he could be more satisfied following the approach of the 'assertive' guy. The question is then whether his additional effort expended for many disappointments and some successes is worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 05:09 AM
3

Is that true though? Your description of his attitude was: 'If it happens it happens. If it doesn't, whatever'.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 03:33 AM
6

I guess it's two different ways of measuring success. There's success in terms of pure numbers, where the 'assertive' guy excels, and there's success in terms of outcome independence/life satisfaction where the 'passive' guy excels. Perhaps the ideal would be a combination of both outlooks. Assertive but not disappointed if people flake on them, there are other things to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 02:31 AM
11

There's nothing wrong with being the 'passive' guy (in terms of the description you gave), if he's genuinely happy with either outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 02:16 AM
1

Interesting. So if anyone has noticed the bot on this sub which replies 'Lol, comment straight out of r/....', I think the keywords which trigger it are 'friendzone' or 'girl/woman + friend' in the same comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/23 12:13 PM
1

Ideal: Openness - Very high Conscientiousness - Above average Extroversion - Below average Agreeableness - High Neuroticism - Very low Current partner: Openness - High Conscientiousness - Very high Extroversion - High Agreeableness - High Neuroticism - Low
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 11:41 PM
1

My upbringing was mostly normal, aside from parents splitting at 17. Was not given any dating/relationship guidance whatsoever, which probably contributed to me not having any romantic success until 27.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 09:56 PM
–

Very interesting theories. You've nailed it with the last part. They want to you to play with their inner child (in a good way).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 03:43 AM
–

I like your idealism/optimism. I do hope you're right, though I've seen too many examples of women being attracted to faked/insincere peacocking behaviour, and passing over guys who are authentically themselves, to fully believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 02:41 AM
–

You're half right. Being able to connect with them on a deep, authentic level like you're talking about is important, though it is not the factor which determines romantic success. Without strong physical attraction you'll be successful in gaining a close friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/23 02:20 AM
12

It is that hard to determine if their feelings are mutual unfortunately. When they flirt with you, and are happy and excited to see you all the time, then you get friendzoned, it really makes you wonder. Of course you just have to move on or you'll overthink what occurred.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 10:17 PM
–

Oh I see. I think I misunderstood what the rule is used for.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 01:55 AM
–

What is the 'no cope' rule and what examples would it refer to? Would the thread about 'Women aren't lying, they're just being polite' be an example of cope?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/23 01:49 AM
3

It looks like a few of the comments are mixing up SMV and RMV
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 12:13 PM
–

Suicide and the possibility of euthanasia for severely depressed people. Probably not allowed to go into more detail than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 03:21 AM
5

Your understanding of Black Pill needs a bit of work (I'm not necessarily advocating for or against it, just defining). Their claim would more be that the physical attributes you are born with play a larger factor in attractiveness than those you can work on. However that is not to say staying fit or working out won't improve your prospects. Nihilism is not necessarily doom and gloom.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/23 01:33 AM
2

28 22-52
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/23 09:58 PM
6

(Referring to dating but not marriage) My experience has been pretty much the complete opposite of what you mention. If she's very attracted to you (and fully trusts you), you won't get any of that dead bedroom stuff and she'll want you to try anything with her. She's very happy you make her feel younger, and she may spoil you too.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 07:24 AM
1

2 seems like the obvious choice to me, assuming you are facially unattractive but have a healthy body
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 08:05 AM
2

You might be right. I didn't notice it before due to the way I view friendship myself, but there are a lot of people out there with that perspective, who sadly would not want to associate with those they view as unattractive or low status before getting to know them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 12:18 AM
2

There's no denying the Halo (and horn) effect, but does it have that big of an impact on simply who people are friends with?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 11:25 PM
2

Looks, Weight, Personality, N count, Age, Career
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 08:15 AM
1

Mostly agree, though I don't think it's common to receive those kinds of comments, it's more that you'd remain invisible/ignored if facially unattractive but in good shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 01:34 AM
2

Yep, my GF is much older than me and probably objectively average looking, but now I find her very cute. We were friends for the first two months we met, not interested in each other romantically (I also assumed she was only interested in guys from her race (Chinese) and close to her age). But she invited me away with her for some trips while she was on holiday, we ended up sleeping in the same bed and it went from there. She showed interest in me and has all the personality traits I wanted, so …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 10:34 PM
1

You can only fail if you try, so never try anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 11:04 AM
6

Automod please sir/maam. This is a question for female women; unfortunately not male women, male men or female men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 05:23 AM
7

When someone points out an accurate trend describing the general behaviour of one sex, and it is dismissed with "that's not a man/woman thing, it's a people thing".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 02:03 AM
3

I wouldn't say it's a personal attack, but "go outside" or "touch grass" is not a rebuttal and doesn't add anything to the conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 08:28 PM
2

East coast of Australia
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 01:09 AM
3

Approaching someone in person takes a lot of guts/confidence, and it's my theory that the majority of men (who will still approach) will only do it if they think the woman is "worth the risk" - aka stunning. This seems a bit backwards to me. If she is stunningly beautiful it seems there would be more risk, that she is already taken or has a lot of attention already, so it's not worth approaching her.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 10:30 PM
12

Assuming we are talking about people who are completely sexually/romantically unsuccessful: I think Man A exists only if he has given up entirely on the possibility on love. His belief is that finding love is so unlikely for him, he doesn't need to think about it all. He can concentrate on other things and fully accepts the situation. This is exceedingly rare as it is sublimating basic human desires. You could even say he is a true ascetic. Man B actually has a logical (but also emotional) respo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/22 12:26 AM
3

I was going to say completely covering herself in tattoos and piercings, but there are probably guys into that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:24 AM
4

It's a bit of both in my experience. Especially when they flirt with you but it takes you too long to realise they love your attention but are not physically attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 02:30 AM
2

Congrats, this might be the worst post I've ever seen here
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 09:46 PM
–

One truth which comes to mind is that shared connections and interests carry far less weight in attraction than we lead young people to believe. Also in many cases the immutable traits a person has are far more important than mutable ones. At what point of people's lives should we explain these harsh truths, if at all? And who should do it, parents or teachers? These are tough questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 04:00 AM
1

A few years ago was about to go on my first ever date (didn't know you had to use the word 'date', I just asked her to dinner). We'd already been hanging out regularly for some weeks, going running together and I was sure she was into me too. The restaurant was a 10 min ferry ride away. While we're sitting there waiting for the ferry we're discussing various things and I mention I like her a lot. We talk some more and she friendzones me. I felt incredibly depressed and couldn't hide it, making h…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 11:15 PM
5

It's difficult to say. It would most likely be an easier and happier life, but possibly less deep and fulfilling in very different ways. I'm mostly curious what it would feel like to perceive the world through a much more emotional lens.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 01:03 PM
3

For myself in that situation, knowing my friend liked her while I had my own FWB, I would not be doing things with her. Even if she was expressing interest in me I'd be finding a way to divert her attention to him. Especially if I have my own girl, it would make me very happy to set up my close friend who has been on a long dry spell.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 10:10 PM
2

He was right, though did overreact a bit. I'm basing my view on what true friendship looks like to me, and what I would do for my close friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 09:07 PM
9

Guys who flirt with every single girl, shows they don't value a particular person and are probably desperate. Guys who knowingly sleep with taken women, usually deflecting any responsibility away from themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:21 PM
3

My GF and I have a huge age gap (I'm 27, she's 52) though there's a high chance we'll never marry. We are very in love but our daily realities are too different and we come from different cultures which can make things complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:13 AM
8

Anything artificial: lipstick, make-up, dyed hair etc. I didn't realise other men found these attractive, but women probably wouldn't do these kinds of things otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 09:10 PM
1

Ah I see, so it's more about actions taken towards them (possibly deemed demeaning) than passive perception of that person?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 12:11 PM
1

That last line is interesting, I kind of see what you mean. Something like hyperfocusing on their physical (potentially immutable) qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 11:29 AM
3

I always wonder about the topic of 'objectification'. People are simultaneously subjects and objects, are there people out there who legitimately perceive someone they find attractive as only an object? Or is it more that the person being 'objectified' at that moment feels they are temporarily not a subject? Maybe true objectification requires a lack of empathy or something like that? I'm rambling a bit but keen to hear other perspectives.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 11:01 AM
10

I didn't realise just how prevalent the Apex fallacy and the Halo effect is in the thought process of many women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 10:27 PM
6

Anger is not the right reaction, but I think disappointment is fine. Witnessing these things dispels the common 'just world' fantasy of morality that good behaviour is rewarded and bad behaviour is punished.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 08:20 PM
3

Will certainly depend on the situation/environment. In my experience having 3 sisters made me more likely to simp later on, which I had to unlearn.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 12:48 AM
1

I'd go with Seven Years in Tibet or Meet Joe Black, both great in different ways
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 03:09 AM
2

Morally superior. My experience with intelligent people is that they know how to explain concepts in a way which respects the listener's intelligence
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 10:50 PM
2

Ah nice. Would love to visit many of those countries. In that case I'm not sure which experiences cause some people's temperaments to change and others to remain how they imagined. For myself my taste in music and women has completely expanded from what it was 5-10 years ago and I've become far less introverted. Career path has developed differently as well. It may depend on the extent to which you desire to change, or as you say for some people these personality characteristics could be immutab…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 11:55 PM
1

Interesting, have you done any travelling? I think having these kinds of experiences in early 20's can alter the way you see the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 10:51 PM
1

(If straight) Many more opposite sex close friends than same sex close friends
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 09:11 AM
1

It would be more noticeable in terms of maybe one friend being more advanced in their career or living situation. Other than that I think the most important factors for friendship are shared interests and personality type/values, not particularly limited by age. Of course there's a point where the difference in life experience could lead to disconnection.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 10:46 PM
2

I would prefer they don't wear make-up but it's up to them. Lipstick is an actual turn-off for me though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 10:33 PM
1

Oh, that's completely normal. Coincidentally I'm 27 and my best friends are 32-33. At this age the difference isn't noticeable.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 10:26 PM
2

I guess as people have established lives before they meet their partner, many don't want to lose/change/sacrifice every aspect of the life they had before meeting that person. It depends how close you are with your siblings. I have one sister I wouldn't hang out with one-on-one, and another I would hang out with regularly if we lived closer to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 12:09 AM
2

Wow
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 11:20 PM
1

Interesting, do you think most straight people stay at 0 for their entire life?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 10:34 PM
2

I think it's fine if they are close friends you had before you met your partner, and you are transparent about when you hang out with them and what you get up to. E.g. One friend is like a sister to me, we get dinner and go walking together every few weeks. I wouldn't have met my girlfriend if not for her (she invited me to a hiking Meetup where I met my GF). It would be really weird if my GF decided this was a deal breaker for her or something, but instead she completely accepts this is a plato…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 10:27 PM
3

Yeah I see what you mean with that last part. I've learned people generally need to feel like the factors within their control carry more weight than uncontrollable factors.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 01:56 AM
4

Where I lived in Western Australia they would pass through at a certain time each year (for most of the year we would have clear sun in desert temperatures, so imagine the stark contrast). The most amazing things for me were witnessing everyone rushing to the local supermarket where most supplies would quickly deplete, and the insane thunder/lightning. I know one year where I wasn't there they experienced huge flooding in the suburbs as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 09:43 AM
5

I think for many they come to RP conclusions independently and wonder how and why people's sexualities often operate counter-intuitively to what we are told growing up. Then they discover others have arrived at similar conclusions and this aspect of life makes a little more sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 12:31 AM
4

The red pill accepts women are emotionally driven, hence why they say men need a combination of 'alpha' and 'beta' qualities. This emotional variance leads to both highs and lows in a relationship, it's part of what men find charming and exciting about women. Of course this leads to 'crazy' moments and behaviour as well, which is why TRP says the man must be like an emotional rock or anchor for the woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 08:19 AM
3

1 mil with no drawback? Easy
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 11:26 PM
2

The word 'dehumanising' is confusing, though maybe I take it too literally. It seems impossible to remove a person's humanity even if you are much more interested in them sexually than their personality. Even 'objectifying' someone does not seem to be dehumanising them as you are appreciating their humanlike beauty.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 03:12 AM
7

Bad Bot
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 06:23 PM
1

I'd guess it would be a combination of their ability to stimulate emotions and the women's instinctual desire to be dominated thus them being attracted to things like aggression, risk-taking behaviour, peacocking, whatever. I'm sure the answer is deeper than this and others here can explain this phenomenon better.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 01:43 PM
6

For red/black pill the belief that truth is more important than temporary happiness. For blue pill the belief that obfuscating the truth is okay if, from their perspective, it keeps more people happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 07:03 AM
15

Even if the dating market is unfairly stacked against you, that is no excuse to 'enjoy the decline' by treating others poorly for better results (for instance men observe that women are attracted to dominance so they may treat male acquaintances badly to impress the woman, such behaviour is not acceptable).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 02:40 AM
2

Right, that's what makes these debates so interesting. Even if I don't agree with them I can see why people believe the Just World Hypothesis/Fallacy. From a woman's perspective she is completely justified in her mate selection, however 'shallow' or possibly even 'immoral' many believe it to be (in the sense that moral goodness in men arguably appears to be overlooked in favour of other traits). Schopenhauer has a good quote related to this: Nature has made it the calling of the young, strong, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 02:08 AM
2

In a sense the concept of standards itself could be construed as immoral as it puts people into boxes, sometimes being used to disqualify people for factors outside of their control. The natural process of love and romance can become tainted and artificial. Though from another perspective, some believe there is no morality as 'everything is permitted' so they might also believe standards are an objectively natural method of mate selection, as cruel as it appears from the subjective perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 12:38 AM
6

I was in the same situation and the answer was finding a patient and mature older woman who gave me those experiences I'd been missing out on. Could be somewhere to start maybe.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 12:24 PM
19

Exactly, the title is kind of a leading question
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 12:03 PM
3

I think you raise a really good point here. To go further, I'm not completely sure which we could identify as the 'main' problem of people struggling; whether it is lack of desired sex itself in relation to their own libido or more them missing out on the feeling of being loved. Though I guess the two are inextricably linked in the sense that to be romantically loved is dependent on being perceived as sexually attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 03:19 AM
–

Good answer, these concepts are quite abstract/ambiguous
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 10:49 AM
–

Is this more true or false in your opinion? "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 10:03 AM
–

They are essentially the same question. Women are naturally very picky so most men experience less return than expected.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 12:39 AM
2

Wow, I guess these are younger party guys or something
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 02:18 PM
2

Are you sure they're trying to get into your pants and flirting with you? Or are they just more comfortable with you because you're clearly taken so they're happy being friends with both of you?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 02:08 PM
10

Probably my dad, not even joking. So often we'd be out somewhere and he'd meet some friend he knew from years ago when he attended some obscure hobby group or work event etc. Just seems to have that natural warmth, gregariousness and genuine interest in people which leads him to make friends wherever he goes, especially with people from other cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 05:33 AM
3

Wouldn't you say yellow flag rather than red?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 11:59 AM
3

I was in a similar situation in my early 20's (aside from desiring validation from others). Therapy did almost nothing to be honest, what completely changed my confidence was going travelling which allowed me to constantly interact with other open-minded young people for a few months. I also found moving out from home changed things as it was my mother's anxiety being projected onto me which was causing my own anxiety (which I learned myself later, not from therapy). It's a bit of a Catch-22 in …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 05:52 AM
3

This raises a good point about what 'maturity' really means. Is it necessarily tied to the acquisition of resources and status?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 01:26 PM
3

Yep, if you move to a new city or country a good way to make friends is to live in a backpackers for a few months. You can meet some really interesting people from different cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 12:12 PM
1

As a guy I don't use pet names at all, for friends or strangers. Generally it's just weird. At the most I might rarely call my GF 'baby' or something like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 07:58 AM
11

At 27 I'm discovering I have more in common with women 35+ than those my age or younger. Far more women than I realised are looking to continue partying and drinking throughout their entire 20's while remaining single. They're good people, very friendly, though I just can't connect to them on a deep level like those who are older.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 05:51 AM
9

Completely disagree with your first bolded point. Possibly the greatest risk factor is being (physically) ugly and not realising or fully accepting it. This can lead to constant romantic rejection throughout their 20's, demolishing their dating confidence entirely despite success in socialising and forming platonic friendships.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 10:17 PM
8

IRL they are generally treated as synonymous. For some reason on Reddit the meanings have been twisted to where kindness is associated with inherent goodness and niceness is associated with fake good intentions. Who knows exactly how this developed but it seems to be related to the 'nice guy boogeyman', which seems to be a method of obfuscating discussion of how kindness or morality appears not to be selected for in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 01:03 AM
2

The best advice was from a man: basically that if a woman is lukewarm about you there's no point putting in effort trying to convince her you're worth it, especially if she has other guys interested. Even if they're not as attractive to you, find someone who perceives you as very physically attractive and you'll notice a complete difference in your experience with them and you'll be much happier.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 12:40 AM
6

Nice post, I like the curiosity. My current perspective is that ultimately there is no 'solution'. Crudely put the situation is a result of a majority of biological factors and a small number of sociological factors, and (presently) we can only make efforts to affect these minor sociological factors. Effectively, attempting to mitigate the damage is all we can do. The best we can do at the moment is education and outlining the various problems, so in my opinion censoring the findings of the red …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 12:31 PM
7

I like the attitude and absolutely agree with the first part, that the high value men can be selectors, though the second part is not quite correct. We hope that having an interesting and fulfilling solo life as a man will attract many women, but it doesn't magically happen if you're not super physically attractive and extraverted. But yes women generally prefer men who want them, not need them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 01:05 AM
3

Kind of, there's a different kind of cynicism for those who have been excluded from romantic relationships altogether.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 04:22 AM
–

I'm the same personally though I have friends who I'm sure wouldn't be bothered at all. I suppose it's related to a person's socio-sexuality or whatever the proper term is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 12:26 PM
–

Do you think a woman talking about other attractive guys being interested in her, trying to make her love interest jealous to sustain her perceived desirability, is commonly effective; or the majority of the time will it turn the guy off and make him lose interest in her? If the latter, does the woman realise it can have this effect?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 12:14 PM
5

For relationships specifically, as others say generally the man is perceived as an emotional anchor by the woman. If you encounter a personal issue and start to feel anxious and emotionally unbalanced, she very often will too. At that point she might act out a bit. She doesn't consciously mean to hurt you, your own confusion negatively affects her and can make her question her choice of partner. When you've found a partial solution to your problem and feel somewhat back to normal, she very well …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 10:01 PM
2

Nice answer, these things can become complicated or even dramatic if both people don't clearly state what they want before having some kind of romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 07:45 PM
2

That's a good point. I wonder if 'open relationship' is a kind of oxymoron, in which case her later relationships would more be called FWB I guess? Not too sure about the definitions of these concepts.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 07:34 PM
3

Had a fascinating conversation with a close friend yesterday (she's about 50), interested to see what people think about this. Her and I have different views on sex and love, for me they go together and for her they are distinct. She said for herself sex is kind of like food. When she was in her 20's she had the same view as me and was idealistic but had a relationship where the guy cheated on her (right now she no longer believes in the concept of cheating in relationships), was devastated and …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 07:13 PM
4

For me personally I would be happy with it anywhere, even if I didn't find them attractive. The exception might be if I'm super busy exercising or something. I'll add that you'd have to be very clear that you're interested in the guy, many women just want to talk and the guy thinks she's into him.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 09:36 PM
9

If you're talking about dating/relationships, physical connection for sure. You can have an incredible emotional connection with someone but they will friendzone you if you don't meet their physical threshold.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 01:11 AM
9

If you're going to do it with someone experienced it's kind of necessary to keep sexual tension going, when they are highly attracted to you they seem to assume you are experienced and that other women are interested in you even if that's not the case. Unfortunately without that illusion they can easily lose attraction to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/22 10:11 PM
6

Women are naturally red pilled, nothing much more they generally need to learn there. Men can learn from the blue pill that the ideal partner is a combination of 'alpha' and 'beta' traits (whether or not you believe in the terminology you roughly get what I mean). You need to bring comfort and romance as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 11:00 PM
1

In the past couple of years: One with mutual tension Two with unreciprocated tension One with no tension
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:52 PM
1

No problem
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 10:54 AM
2

There are kind of two different aspects to TRP, I've forgotten the proper terminology but essentially what is the case when it comes to human sexual dynamics and how do you personally react or behave as a result of these dynamics. E.g. For myself I am mostly red or black pill in understanding but somewhat blue pill in the way I behave (naturally idealistic and romantic despite knowing this can lead to failure if you aren't careful). There are arguments whether you can be considered red pill or n…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 10:09 AM
3

Probably, but mostly due to build/height and 'Told I should model facially'. To be completely honest the other information is great for your future and self-confidence but nowhere near as significant for dating success at your age.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 05:27 AM
1

Of its own beauty is the mind diseased, And fevers into false creation; where, Where are the forms the sculptor’s soul has seized? In him alone. Can nature show so fair? Where are the charms and virtues which we dare Conceive in boyhood and pursue as men, The unreached paradise of our despair, Which over-informs the pencil and the pen, And overpowers the page where it would bloom again. Who loves, raves — it’s youth’s frenzy — But the cure Is bitterer still; as charm by charm unwinds Which robed…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 05:10 AM
2

I mean if you flirt with someone you aren't attracted to for attention that's leading them on and you've created your own problem there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 07:44 PM
0

I think many of us were once idealistic, but in our 20's we repeatedly experienced that the more you love a woman, the more likely she will lose interest in you and instead chase someone who plays games with her emotions and doesn't truly care about her. Fortunately, contrary to TRP I do believe in the possibility that 'unicorn' women exist, it's just that they would generally be found outside of Western cultures and would be more rare than you'd originally expect.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 11:12 AM
2

I know the relationship won't last but we will always be friends. She has a son who I haven't met and she's much busier with work now so I don't get to see her nearly as often. If we were both in our 20's I'm sure we'd grow together. Yes, I find her beautiful and noticed she has nice legs.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 02:24 AM
2

Wow, sounds a bit like Notes from Underground
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 11:08 PM
3

True confidence seems to evolve through experience and maturity. Not having expectations allows you to simply enjoy the present experience and time with others. At a certain point it's not even the will to act, you're acting without willing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 11:02 PM
4

Yep, that kind of advice will help you in the long run even if it is difficult to process when you're younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 04:44 AM
8

I think that's a big part of the blue pilled messaging we're given growing up. Media gives us the impression that love is something that happens to you (which you later learn generally only applies to women and very attractive men), rather than something you have to initiate and work for.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 04:26 AM
1

Generally false. It sounds nice but completely depends on what the life purpose is and other factors.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 03:38 AM
3

I guess the difference is whether you get regularly friendzoned or not. If you are charming but unattractive they will laugh, enjoy your company and want to spend a lot of time with you but will not be receptive to romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 02:10 AM
1

Interesting, you and I are almost complete opposites aside from trait openness. My guess is (you can verify whether this is roughly correct or not), we have the opposite problems in life in terms of you seeing strong meaning in the activities you pursue, thus feeling strong anxiety or despair if not being successful in your goals (existentialism or affirmation of the will-to-live). Whereas I struggle to find meaning in things, rarely feeling anxiety but also having a lack of overall fulfillment …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/22 07:57 AM
3

Kind of interesting that from another angle flirting could be construed as emotional manipulation, but we deem it socially acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 04:09 AM
6

There's a lot to this. I'd say the main thing is that it can be so rare to find a woman who is crazy about you that men can overlook the faults of certain highly extraverted but narcissistic women because they can make men feel strongly desired.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 03:56 AM
1

I don't necessarily mean this in a bad way, but I've learned here that attractive people can take their experiences for granted (not everyone of course). Like those who have been in and out of relationships their entire lives naturally cannot really comprehend the lived experience of someone who has not had any relationship offers or opportunities. In terms of being beneficial, it makes you appreciate other areas of life where you might be ahead without realising it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 10:01 PM
3

Nope, I had a series of crushes in my teens but nothing was requited. It took me longer than it should to come to terms with the fact that men and women have defined roles when it comes to love, and as a man you can't be passive unless you're very attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 10:00 AM
1

Nothing to be honest. It was just assumed it would happen naturally.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 09:14 AM
28

I find older women (approx. 35-45) more attractive than younger women (approx 20-25). At 27, I think most other men around my age here find younger women more beautiful.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 12:19 PM
2

There are some really interesting meta-questions to be posed related to this topic. One important idea is the inescapable subjective aspect of truth, discussed by philosophers/psychologists such as William James and Friedrich Nietzsche (I think he referred to it as perspectivism). Science may strive to be but can never be fully 'objective', there is always the human element. We have to take this into account when considering the validity of social sciences.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 04:07 PM
2

Wow, quite an incredible bond
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 10:04 AM
3

No, hadn't heard of it. Just had a quick read of the plot summary. I think I see the part you're referring to.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 08:38 AM
3

I think you might be right. Though I'm wondering about relationships such as my English grandparents who were married for 50+ years with very few relationship problems. Once my grandfather died my grandmother was no longer the same, struggling emotionally from that point on. Could that be regarded as true, everlasting and unconditional love; or is love necessarily conditional in all cases?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 11:05 PM
2

Never, it would have been nice though
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 12:58 PM
4

Bohemian Rhapsody Queen is way overplayed
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 11:05 AM
2

About 4 days
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 10:58 AM
4

I was given no advice at all from anyone, it was just expected I would have a normal love life. When I was younger I was probably too blue pilled (anxious too) and not sufficiently attractive, so nothing manifested. The concept that men have to chase women to experience love never felt intuitive to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 03:23 AM
4

Well said
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 07:25 AM
13

On first glance that sounded very red pill to me, however I guess there are many there who change themselves primarily to please others
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 03:21 AM
3

My relationship might be an exception to your theory but can't be certain (I'm 27, she's 52). For a long time I thought she was in her mid-late 30's until she eventually revealed her age, at which point I was already attracted to her. Of course I would have preferred to date the younger version of her but I still love the person she is now. Though perhaps in support of your theory I do find her maturity and intellectual curiosity very attractive, which could be associated with the age gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 07:49 AM
2

This is the kind of topic where I would recommend respondents to mention their gender. As we learned from the previous related topic, broadly speaking men and women have entirely different concepts and experiences of what it means to be 'alone'.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 10:14 PM
1

I wouldn't necessarily say that, rather it is a conflict between the rational and emotional side of me. The emotional side loves the feeling of opening up and believing that person is receptive and interested in my difficulties (just like I was with her own difficulties), while the rational side knows this cannot really be the case and there will be detriments to revealing too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 09:16 PM
19

To be honest, I would say the main factor is my tendency to be emotionally vulnerable with women I'm close to. I know I shouldn't do it, but at some point I inevitably confess feelings which express some form of hopelessness and they lose all interest in me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 10:38 PM
4

On Women and The Metaphysics of Sexual Love by Arthur Schopenhauer
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 07:11 AM
51

It's a fact...that in societies like ours sex truly represents a second system of differentiation, completely independent of money; and as a system of differentiation it functions just as mercilessly. The effects of these two systems are, furthermore, strictly equivalent. Just like unrestrained economic liberalism, and for similar reasons, sexual liberalism produces phenomena of absolute pauperization. Some men make love every day; others five or six times in their life, or never. Some make love…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:42 AM
2

It's more blunt and not as concise as I would put it, but they make some very fair points. The only part I really disagree with is the assertion that consistently choosing 'shitbags' means that the woman is a 'shitbag' herself. It is a partial mystery of nature we have to accept that agreeable women generally sexually select for disagreeable, not agreeable men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/21 02:35 AM
5

On Women and The Metaphysics of Sexual Love by Arthur Schopenhauer
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 10:02 PM
3

26, Male, INTP Was red pill but now lean a bit closer to black pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 10:16 PM
4

I think for many RPers our initial reaction upon overcoming BP conditioning is to believe we dislike women. However later on as we mature we realise our dislike was really for the fickle and shallow nature of the sexual selection process (and not the people themselves); whereby in many cases factors like height, facial attractiveness, finances/status take precedence over other qualities we traditionally associate with being a good person. As you journey through life you start making some great f…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 08:59 AM
4

How does the quote go? Something like "Men are the romantics pretending to be realists, women are the realists pretending to be romantics"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/20 10:02 AM
5

The transformative point at which a boy discovers the apparent vanity of existence and thus the potential futility of all human endeavours.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/20 09:53 AM
2

Women in Love One of the most difficult RP truths to understand and accept.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/20 08:45 PM
2

That's a very valid point you make in your second paragraph, that life can become difficult for women around their 30's (especially if they feel pressure to have kids). However we'll have to agree to disagree with your first paragraph. From the male perspective, many of us being overlooked in our 20's while women chase those who are not interested in them is rough and it is not relieving that they may become interested later in life when we possess money/status as a result of increased mastery o…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 08:25 AM
7

The paradox of choice. Having too many competing desires which cannot all be fulfilled, perhaps leading to ongoing anxiety. While men are also affected by this to a degree, I think we find it easier than women to let go of our desires as we generally face more disappointments earlier in life (especially with romance) which teaches us to be content with less.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 11:55 AM
6

From blue pill to a mix of red and black pill (I believe much of the red pill theory is correct but do not think we should neglect morality and 'enjoy the decline') in the span of about 5 years. Initially I couldn't accept that people's attraction mechanisms were so shallow, now I've come to accept that generally women are attracted to what you represent on the outside rather than who you are on the inside. I had many rejections for lacking things I didn't see as important (which I now know were…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/20 03:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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