~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 1 | Any real advice on getting out of my head when seeing a very attractive woman?radical self-acceptance: Don't fight the way you react. Realize that it's okay to react that way, nothing to be ashamed about. Being a relaxed guy means being relaxed about sometimes not being relaxed. Part of your current state probably has it's roots in the way you judge yourself. Judge less. exposure therapy. Interact more with attractive women. This can be as simple as shopping for new cloth and getting advice from staff. | /r/seduction | 13/03/24 05:58 AM |
| 10 | Do you lose 'social value' if you are seen by yourself?Some will think you are weird. Some will think you are a loner or loser. Others will be jealous of your courage to go out alone. Others will think you look a bit like their cousin. All of them will forget that you even exist two minutes later. Should that really stop you from doing what you want? | /r/seduction | 29/02/24 09:04 PM |
| 5 | How to work on your 'vibe' and make it better?Being cool is not something that you learn or achieve, but a mindset you can employ right now. It's not about eliminating your shortcomings (real or imagined), but about deciding that its okay to have them. It's about doing it nevertheless. You could just say, "My vibe might be not as good as I want it to be, but I still go for what I want. F the world!" As soon as you accept yourself with the "bad" vibe, it will drastically improve. Your vibe is okay as it is atm if you decide so. The things yo… | /r/seduction | 29/02/24 01:02 PM |
| 1 | Instagram and seductionSet a time limit for the maximal time on Instagram a day and track it in some way. If you don't have enough mental strength too stick to it, delete the app. | /r/seduction | 28/02/24 09:49 PM |
| 3 | Flirting is the hardest skill known to man, or at least known to me..As soon as you interact with her you can not avoid the risk, that she does not like it or thinks you are weird in some way. You can be polite and socially calibrated, but it is no guaranty to be liked. Yes, the elevator does make it more difficult, that's true. couldn’t stay in the elevator for longer could I?? You could have proposed to get out of the elevator for 2 minutes to talk. The vibe didn’t feel flirtatious to me, and didn’t know how to change it myself, so I’m asking of ways I could ne… | /r/seduction | 28/02/24 06:47 PM |
| 4 | Flirting is the hardest skill known to man, or at least known to me..Did you smile? Did you compliment her? How do you know you weren't flirtatious enough? Maybe your conversation would have been good enough to exchange numbers and set up a meet up. Some first encounters are not super flirtatious but still have potential, but if you don't risk it, you never find out. Maybe she thinks: "Cute guy, I wonder why he did not ask for my number? Did I do something wrong?" | /r/seduction | 28/02/24 06:20 PM |
| 4 | "Describe yourself in 3 words" - I've been asked that - is this a shit test or what?Irl you it would not matter that much what you say, because she experiences you as a whole, but via text and with a stranger jokes/irony are tricky. Better play it safe and answer with positive attributes, you actually have, but neither brag nor humblebrag e.g. "tolerant, relaxed, communicative" | /r/seduction | 28/02/24 01:26 PM |
| 7 | Can I get some advice? Cycle of Porn, ED and no girlsPorn does not get you one inch closer to what you want, but getting rid of it will be a big leap in the right direction. The real girl IS around the corner, but you'll miss her if you sit at home jerking off all the time. A large part of the ED problem is performance anxiety, get a more playful and relaxed approach to sex. It's mostly in your own head, the majority of women will accept a slower and playful approach to sex, that is less oriented toward performance. | /r/seduction | 26/02/24 05:12 PM |
| 13 | Please help! 20[M] why is my dick not acting up?You are able to get it up with your gf, then you are fine. That's the only thing that really matters. Don't pressure yourself to be able to immediately get hard at all times. It is normal to have situations were you take longer to be aroused or are just not aroused. You are a human being not a robot. Imho avoiding porn is the right decisions, stick with it. | /r/seduction | 20/02/24 09:21 AM |
| 22 | Please help! 20[M] why is my dick not acting up?You conditioned yourself to avoid porn. Probably your brain registers your girlfriends nudes as porn on an sub-conscious level, as the "thing that has to be avoided" and therefore you have a harder time to get it up. Don't worry, nothing wrong with you healthwise. | /r/seduction | 20/02/24 08:35 AM |
| 2 | Is most of dating dynamics about who is the most “parent”? Who can appear as the most high status individual? Is there no equal relationship?Focus on understanding general human behavior, building rapport and good communication first. Without this first step a focus on dominance hierarchies will do more harm than good. | /r/seduction | 19/02/24 07:26 PM |
| 0 | Is it normal to not see at least one good looking girl in public?How many women were there in total? | /r/seduction | 19/02/24 04:37 PM |
| 11 | Is it normal to not see at least one good looking girl in public?Yes, it is normal. That's called excuses. Any time you try to do an approach, your mind will come up with some excuse why now is just not the right time or why it's not possible. | /r/seduction | 19/02/24 04:29 PM |
| 3 | Is there away to persevere through the mountain of rejectionsA relevant part of what a beginner experiences as "rejection" is not even the real thing: you startled her, approached her in a weird way (from her perspective) she did not hear you she thought you were a street marketeer she thought you were dangerous as you forgot to smile because you were nervous you ejected to early and did not ask for the number although you could have if you act calibrated less than 5% of your rejections should be hard rejections. If you do it right 95 % of your interactio… | /r/seduction | 19/02/24 02:01 PM |
| 2 | Openers for speaking to girlsIf you want to learn how to talk to strangers, definitly don't start at the gym. Start small. Practice just saying "Hi" to strangers with a smile. As a next step add asking for direction and wishing them a nice day. Once you are able to do that, you can add a little compliment/comment/question at the end. Once you are able to do that, you can practice directly going to your compliment/comment/question. | /r/seduction | 16/02/24 10:18 AM |
| 5 | Girl only texts me when she wants but got pissed when I did the same?That is the mature and differentiated way of looking at it. Most guys start off by being too nice, needy and clingy, then switch to the other extreme ("punishing", judging, moving on too fast), until they finally arrive at a well rounded balanced position, like you described it. | /r/seduction | 15/02/24 06:49 PM |
| 6 | Question for intermediate and advanced guys!for day game: Get a wing, that is more experienced than you, who will mentor you. Theories, ideas etc on the internet can never be as good as direct feedback from someone who actually sees you and what you are doing. He will show you sticking points, you never would have found on your own don't live alone, live among a mixed group of young people. Then you will not only learn from your own but also the experiences of the others. It also will charge your vibe cultivate deep male friendships | /r/seduction | 15/02/24 01:31 PM |
| 2 | I keep starting out too "friendly"Maybe just try something really simple: be more direct. Say more whats on your mind, filter less | /r/seduction | 15/02/24 08:43 AM |
| 1 | I keep starting out too "friendly""friendly" is a vague term, everyone understands it a bit different what it means. Narrow it down more, what you problem is. Maybe you are e.g. too soft, not assertive/leading enough, insecure in showing your masculinity. If you just try to be "less friendly", you might lose the good aspects of it: e.g. empathy, politeness, being chilled, being kind ... "friendly" is too vague ... | /r/seduction | 15/02/24 08:00 AM |
| 1 | Pre-date warm-upThx for the long reply, bu we have to end this discussion with the conclusion that we agree about 90% and disagree about 10%. That should be good enough. Probably we even agree on more than 90% and just talk past each other. Have a nice day | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 10:20 PM |
| 2 | Mixed signals. Looking for advice and actionable plan!You could just invite her again, and escalate a little bit more. If she again gives you mixed signals, just do the same and play the game better than her. If she really means a lot to you, you have to risk more, even if that means losing the dance place and ultimately her as a dance partner/friend. It's not just about chances for success but also about staying true to yourself and your feelings. Suppressing something like that is not healthy. If she does not mean that much to you, you should pri… | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 06:45 PM |
| 2 | Mixed signals. Looking for advice and actionable plan!Just invite her to some activity at a different place, maybe also dancing and see whether she will even show up. It's some progression where the chances of some escalation increases, but you still have plausible deniability, that it was just meant as a platonic thing. | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 05:53 PM |
| 2 | Sending a text after a whileApproaching at the gym is a delicate thing so you probably should force it too much a second time. If you do something, you strategy has to be the following. At first you would check how open to interaction with you she is, you would get in contact with her (either irl or via text) but with zero pressure. Doing it via text would be the so called "feeler". Just send her some funny fitness meme (ofc nothing offensive) and see whether she even reacts to it. Doing it in person would be just asking h… | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 05:42 PM |
| 2 | second date advice?Continue what you did on the last date. It's probably to early to invite her home. Do the same things as in the first date, but with new places. Ideally you already seeded some ideas. Try to escalate more and open up a bit more. There has to be some progression. | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 05:28 PM |
| 2 | Do compliments work?Fair enough. I'd fully agree with this. The potential/basis still has to be there beforehand. | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 02:55 PM |
| 15 | How to go out alone without feeling awkward or judged?This. And also be comfortable with the fact that you're not completely comfortable yet, but still go for what you want and make the best out of the situation | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 01:27 PM |
| 2 | Do compliments work?Of course, thx. I'll edit | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 01:22 PM |
| 6 | Do compliments work?Compliments don't work in the sense that they create attraction. (Why would she be attracted to you just because you are?) But they serve two important purposes: They help you to signal your intent, making the conversation man to woman. If the interaction begins with a direct compliment from a man, she clearly knows, that he is not here just to make a friend They make her day. If she rejects you, you still brought something positive into her world. Knowing this will help you do overcome your app… | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 12:26 PM |
| 3 | Should I ask out a cashier I’ve talked with once on valentines day?Don't forget to ask for her number, if she reacts positively Good luck! | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 11:25 AM |
| 8 | Should I ask out a cashier I’ve talked with once on valentines day?you can ask out a woman, who is on her job, but view it as an exception that you only do when you really into someone. Apart from that you should not annoy people, who are working valentines day is rather a bad day. Because she might think you just do it because of that day and interpret it as some sort of joke or test of courage. Bringing her something would be totally cringey in my view Ask her out tomorrow. Do it directly. Tell her that you normally would not bother a woman on her job, but sh… | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 10:29 AM |
| 1 | What's your assessment of girls who text a lot before dates?It can mean different things, maybe she is bored, maybe she is just feisty, maybe its high interest, maybe she is just in a mood for texting, maybe she is coming out of a relationship and is just used to text a lot, maybe she is clingy, many other possible reasons ... Assessment before the date is not necessary. Be prepared for everything, expect nothing. Assuming much about a person you haven't even met in real life does not really make sense. If she texts much you will have to engage a little … | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 07:51 AM |
| 3 | Is she interested?In the beginning when it's about seeing whether there is connection/chemistry/attraction a fancy activity would just be a distraction, safe your ideas for later on. You said it yourself, you had the whole ball court between you. | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 06:17 AM |
| 1 | Is she interested?"is she interested" is the wrong question, as interest is dynamic not static. Her interest can go down or grow stronger. "It's not decided yet how much she's interested" should be your standard go to You made a rather indirect move. By asking her out to do some sport, you hide a bit behind the activity, even though you made a compliment somewhere in the middle. One would think, that she has to get that you are interested in her, but the easier way for her is to interpret it in a more neutral way… | /r/seduction | 14/02/24 05:58 AM |
| 1 | Pre-date warm-upA hard work out reduces your ability to connect to the fine nuances of a conversation, no matter how much experience you have. Immediately after a hard core dead lift session your energy level will be so high, that it is harder for you connect to a woman, who just sits there relaxed in a quite cafe. Rapport is about is about adapting state. When there is such a big mismatch of energy, forming rapport will be significantly harder. Just like a guy with a too low engery level would not fit in a dan… | /r/seduction | 13/02/24 11:44 PM |
| 1 | Pre-date warm-upA light work out can be good, but a hard one will make you either too tired or too wound up and uncalibrated | /r/seduction | 13/02/24 10:54 PM |
| 1 | Pre-date warm-upFocus on avoiding things, that get you into an antisocial mood (stressful work, being too much online) | /r/seduction | 13/02/24 10:51 PM |
| 14 | What do other girls think when they see you approach?Become more social in general, talk to girls, who you are not romantically interested in, also talk to guys. Then approaching becomes a more normal thing for yourself and also for other people seeing you doing it. | /r/seduction | 13/02/24 04:41 PM |
| 1 | My realizations about "pickup" these last few yearsWholesome realizations for a more experienced guy. But for beginners these could easily turn into excuses to stay too much in their comfort zone. | /r/seduction | 12/02/24 10:36 PM |
| 2 | My dream girl is spending all her time with me but tells me she isn't attracted.You cannot expect girls to explain their fee fees truthfully when they reject you. True. And she also may not be fully aware of what her reasons are. Introspection is a gift not everyone has, especially not young people | /r/seduction | 12/02/24 06:04 PM |
| 3 | My dream girl is spending all her time with me but tells me she isn't attracted.In it's core this has nothing to do with looks/race etc She sensed that you totally fell for her too quickly, instead of being a free spirited man with principles, s h e has to win over. This made her lose attraction. Maybe you also were needy/clingy. If you cuddle too much it can in some cases also lead to less sexual attraction, because it can reduce tension, turning you from a lion into a teddy bear. Seduction is not about seeking closeness but a playful experience that switches between close… | /r/seduction | 12/02/24 05:58 PM |
| 12 | Being shamelessBeing shameless is a good thing, if you manage to be socially calibrated and polite at the same time. If you are not polite and calibrated, you will annoy people, negatively affect the reputation of yourself and cold approaching in general and ... get worse results. | /r/seduction | 09/02/24 08:06 AM |
| 7 | Underestimated the struggle of initiating staying the night.Did you kiss and break the touch barrier on these dates? Don't focus on taking her home, focus on physical escalation. If you move forward in terms of getting physical, taking her home arises as a natural conclusion. It's inevitable when the temperature is hot enough. Your problem is not taking her home. Your problem is physical escalation. Improve in that area. For most guys and also women it is easier to physically outside of the home, when it's happening for the first time between two people.… | /r/seduction | 08/02/24 09:51 AM |
| 5 | Seasonality in seductionThis is true for the majority of people, but you can use it to your advantage. If you manage to defeat your weaker self during that time, you will stand out even more and your positivity will have more impact and value to other people. The cold weather forces us to do the inner work ... | /r/seduction | 07/02/24 06:26 PM |
| 1 | Advice for an approachDirect daygame developed in Europe not the USA, so imho I see no reason why it would not work in Romania. But of course I don't know the cultural specifics there. Keep experimenting with doing it direct, maybe it is less a cultural thing and you just encountered the wrong women. | /r/seduction | 07/02/24 11:24 AM |
| 1 | Advice for an approachHe will encounter her in the future, so the idea is to keep it vague at the beginning. If she reacts positively he can substantiate his comment with a more direct compliment, e.g. that he finds her attractive or likes the way she looks at him. If she reacts negatively, a vague comment like "interesting and nice" will be better than something more substantive/direct. I don't see "interesting" as that problematic, people call things and other people interesting all the time without immediately sub… | /r/seduction | 07/02/24 10:50 AM |
| 4 | Hobby photos on dating apps questionGuns do not have a good reputation in Europe. Many women will not even get the difference between airsoft and real guns if they just have a quick look. I'd rather use a different photo. Most people will accept your hobby if they know you and you are a cool/normal guy, but it's not suitable as a first impression. | /r/seduction | 07/02/24 10:19 AM |
| 0 | Hinge chat analysis and adviceGeneric happenings like weather, current events in the city, current holidays tend to concern women in their thinking. Addressing these things in some way grounds the conversation and increases the likelihood of an response. The "current thing" is most of the time very important to women, a dramatic rain storm would qualify. OP brought it up way too much, but addressing it was the right move. | /r/seduction | 07/02/24 10:12 AM |
| 1 | Advice for an approachNext time you see her you stop her with an "excuse me" and wave your hand, so she can see you. It has to be decisive enough, if she doesn't stop, she probably did not get, that you want to stop her. She can't reject you or blow you out, because she does not know, what you want at this point. So be decisive and loud enough to actually stop her. It is important to smile to signal to her that you are not a threat (you are still a stranger in her eyes). Many guys forget to do that when they are nerv… | /r/seduction | 07/02/24 09:43 AM |
| 6 | Hinge chat analysis and advice"standout" + "how many likes" puts her on a pedestal too much for my taste. You treated her too much like a star. Imho more specific compliments are also better bringing the rainstorm up was good, because it was a mutual experience the allows you to connect, but you should not deepen that topic. You are not interested in rainstorms but interested in her. Same applies to your car. You can bring up such things as quick side note/joke but you should not deepen the conversation about it. Your goal h… | /r/seduction | 07/02/24 06:24 AM |
| 2 | How much does a bad reputation impact?A regular would normally have some status at a bar, just from being there, staff would treat him better not worse, even if he is an unusual guy. For some reason you fail to authentically connect to the staff. There will be something in the way you behave/think that has created that situation. It could be something, you are not aware of, that only is relevant in that specific conditions. Maybe the conditions to work there are not that great, so staff tends to be in a rather negative mood. You wou… | /r/seduction | 06/02/24 12:30 PM |
| 2 | Need tips: Getting a shy woman to open updon't always just meet at her place, this could lead to you falling to much in her frame and it also makes it harder for her to find new perspectives if she does not even leave her home maybe she is not as shy as you think. Her age would suggests that. Maybe she just has not gotten over her last relationship and wants a guy, who really manages to seduce her. The mere presence of a guy would then not be enough for her, because she would need a guy, who is able to give her this intense emotions ag… | /r/seduction | 05/02/24 02:01 PM |
| 0 | What Are PRACTICAL Tips For DanceFloor Game In 2024?For people with dance and approach anxiety before you go to the event/place where you planing to spend the night. Go to another place/bar/club. As it will be early in the evening there will be people, but no one will be dancing. Hit the dance floor alone. Dance as ridiculous, silly, foolish and wild as you can. Start with small movement and then move your whole body and get your metabolism going. Especially swing your butt and hips. Feel the judgement of the people rain down on you, bath in it. … | /r/seduction | 01/02/24 05:29 PM |
| 8 | Being ghosted by different woman frequently .You should seed the second date during the first. You can even seed different ideas what you can do in the future and see what clicks. If the future already exists as a plan you talk about while you are with each other in person it is more likely to happen You don't seem to have a problem with the attraction part, but that's only one half. You also need to have connection. Maybe you come across a bit superficial. It's not enough to just mechanically ask some questions and be polite to check all … | /r/seduction | 01/02/24 09:58 AM |
| 7 | You look like a fuckboyIf it's about a picture, you should show us the picture, otherwise anything we say has no real basis | /r/seduction | 31/01/24 02:08 PM |
| 4 | Texting and a rosterDon't forget that you also have the option of having phone calls and exchanging voice messages, both are a lot more intimate than just text | /r/seduction | 31/01/24 12:25 PM |
| 6 | Sometimes when I ask for a girl's number, she would reject me but insted offer her social media info. What would you do in this situation?building more comfort and attraction before asking for the number, giving better reasons to exchange numbers continue the conversation and ask at a later moment for the number, maybe she just can't trust you yet don't ask for the number at the end of the conversation if possible, it should happen naturally in the middle of your conversation don't imply your afraid of being left on read, it would make you look bad | /r/seduction | 31/01/24 11:28 AM |
| 8 | Did my first true cold approach and oofAnd people still vote the guy up, who said she is not interested ... I don't get it ... | /r/seduction | 31/01/24 11:04 AM |
| 9 | Conversation starters with girls at college barsFocus on getting into a loose and social mood during the day. This will matter more than what you say. Every interaction, and if it's just saying hi to someone, will help you to build up the necessary social momentum bit by bit. | /r/seduction | 31/01/24 07:28 AM |
| 25 | Did my first true cold approach and oofSome of your best interactions will ghost you. Sometimes quite awkward interactions will lead to good dates. There are always variables at play that are outside your control. Be emphatic, polite and do your best. That's all you can do. | /r/seduction | 30/01/24 08:41 PM |
| 1 | PT jobs for socializing and meeting womenNice! Glad you actually did it | /r/seduction | 30/01/24 03:42 PM |
| 1 | PT jobs for socializing and meeting womenMaybe that weird feeling is not that bad. Positive excitement can also feel somewhat weird. You need to make going out a new habit. Humans are habituell creatures, so expect to encounter resistance within yourself, but if you keep trying that feeling will soon go away. | /r/seduction | 30/01/24 07:31 AM |
| 1 | PT jobs for socializing and meeting womenIt's not about numbers. Start by something simple, do a sightseeing tour in a new part of the city. Ask for direction and where you can get good coffee | /r/seduction | 29/01/24 05:32 PM |
| 1 | PT jobs for socializing and meeting womenMany jobs will help you to improve your social skills, also getting used to communicating with women. One thing you also could do is to sign up for a temporary employment agency, which would lend you then different other companies and therefore allow you to see a whole spectrum of jobs and people. Just keep in mind that socializing/training through work will be always on a very general level and that hitting on women while you are on your job will be a rare exception. If you want to get better a… | /r/seduction | 29/01/24 10:52 AM |
| 1 | PT jobs for socializing and meeting womenAnything, where you are in contact with people could work (bar, sales, volunteering, any club where they practice one of your hobbies). All of that will be helpful, but you have to ask yourself, what the most effective way is to get the experiences and chances you seek. Ask yourself first what your sticking points are. What is it, that hinders you from being the way you want to be? Then project you chose will fit your needs better. The better you know your problem, the better you can find a fitt… | /r/seduction | 26/01/24 08:18 AM |
| 3 | What should you wear when going to meet potential girls?not too tight, not too wide highlight the strength of your body, camouflage the weaknesses fitting for the occasion. Different occassions/locations demand different cloth have the image you want to create in mind. Do you want to look older/younger? Which cultural values and ideas to you want to express But the first stept is to search out a good shop, where they will give you advice in real life and you can try things out and feel them on your body | /r/seduction | 02/01/24 04:32 PM |
| 39 | What are the signs you're more attractive than you think you are?What are the signs you're more attractive than you think you are? You should assume that by default. | /r/seduction | 23/05/23 06:21 AM |
| 3 | What are the signs you're more attractive than you think you are?Please don't make the way you feel about yourself depend on how much people look at you! I'm not saying, you said that, just saying that would be a bad idea. | /r/seduction | 23/05/23 06:20 AM |
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