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JonesyOC Archive

View 2 posts and 28 comments by JonesyOC on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
22

Need SupportJonesyOC/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 05:04 PM
12

Need SupportJonesyOC/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:36 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Hey solidarity. Less than two years after buying our first home and having a son, my wife made the decision to not work at our relationship anymore and find her own happiness (her words, not mine). Hope you're doing ok!
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/24 02:49 PM
2

I mean, I'd generally say to them what you're saying here. For me, there were some people I asked if they had time for a phone call and then called and talked for a bit. For you, I'd just say to do that and be like,"I have a life update that I just felt like updating you on but if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to keep the details private (or whatever boundaries you want)" and then tell them whatever you feel comfortable doing.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 05:22 PM
2

I'm on android so I can only speak to me but I deleted all of the pictures of her that I shouldn't have moving forward, if you know what I mean. Beyond that, every other picture of her or her and our son have gone into a secured folder that I have to enter a password to see. So, you could try something like that. I feel like having that buffer is nice and that way you haven't deleted anything you might regret losing.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 01:01 AM
3

Gotcha. Well it's good that they know at least. I can really vouch for therapy being a humongous help. Ironically, I started therapy earlier this year in order to help my marriage and then once I started making strides, my wife told me she was divorcing me. So, thats fun but, I thankfully had learned a lot about being vulnerable and open with my emotions and getting support from others. All that being said, if you have close friends you can trust, I'd highly encourage you to lean on them. The mo…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 03:17 AM
3

Have you confided in any friends? How's your support? For me, my situation improves considerably once I let my close friends know and have them support me. After the shock and horror of what was happening wore off, I naturally felt more open with more and more people now--but I think it would've taken a lot longer if I hadn't had my friends supporting me for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 03:05 AM
2

As a Christian, I struggled with the idea of remarriage but through talking with elders/pastor, I've come to accept that my stbx abandoned me and so Scripture allows me to be remarried. Obviously not sure of your situation and the details but I don't believe that remarrying is a black/white issue. I'm still in the middle of things, but I know it will be hard to stick true to my convictions like no sex outside of marriage and what not but that's what I believe is the right thing to do. So, my fai…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 03:07 PM
1

Most certainly. The peace I feel during church is unnaturally/supernaturally strong.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 02:56 PM
3

Oh she told me several weeks ago that a non-negotiable for her is someone making less than her. So, I'm well aware of that. Just so annoying since she didn't feel that way for the longest time and I'm doing something that I have a Master's in but just pays at a trash rate. So, it's not like I'm a deadbeat or anything like that--just my lot in life for what I want to/feel called to do.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 04:35 PM
2

Oh yeah I know. She came back to me with an offer today that is really reasonable and so I'm going to still talk to a lawyer, have him look over the agreement we write up, and then go from there.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 04:33 PM
1

Huh well whenever I get to rewatching it, I'll be able to think back on this I guess lol
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 03:01 AM
2

Shoot. I wish we had 10k in a savings account lol. Yeah no for this moment in time, she's fairly equitable and what not but she really bristles at me thinking I may need support afterwards. Everything we say to each other is like hyper-loaded with emotion and so it's just a tough place to be in. There's only one way through it though so here's hoping I make the right decisions along the way. If I don't need a lawyer, I really don't want one but you know, it's just a touchy area of course.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 12:38 AM
1

I appreciate it! I kind of alluded to this elsewhere but I'm religious and so I'm taking a lot of peace in that and I feel like it's leading me to a lot of helpful/healthy places. I've been delving into that and then I joined a couple of support groups that have been helpful. It's so tough because my wife takes me talking to a lawyer as me being personal or vindictive and I'm like, idk, it's like I have 0% idea who I actually married. It's heartbreaking to me. I feel like a lot of people would b…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 12:37 AM
1

Really? It's been a minute since I've seen the Sopranos but I don't recall that being in Whitecaps...which, as an aside, is such a fantastic episode of television. Carmela and Tony's fight is one of the best scenes ever.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 12:30 AM
2

I appreciate all of the thoughts. Yeah I'm thankfully in therapy and talking to a lot of supportive people. I'm religious and so I'm finding a lot of solace in that. Ideally, it's fairly clean cut and equitable. We don't have much in the way of assets/retirement/funds in general. My main concern is after we separate since I make so much less money. If I could find something that pays substantially more, that would be the best thing ever but I can't really control that to an extent. I'm trying to…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 12:29 AM
3

She does already have one she's talked to. That's like the Logan Roy strategy of things (it'll be awkward if you have no idea what that's referencing...)
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 07:59 PM
1

I won't lie, I talked to one (well, a rep for one) and even in that conversation, it felt so eye opening as to the next steps. He wasn't able to answer every last thing but he had so much good info for me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 07:58 PM
2

Yeah more than likely. I'm doing my best! We'll see how it shakes out.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 07:02 PM
1

Lol goodness yeah I'm kind of afraid of tipping the scales too much but I know this is really my only shot to take care of myself. Yeah so idk when he'll start school. I know I started school when I was 3 but that's probably not super typical. I'm just wary of agreeing to her paying more for daycare when daycare costs will be going down once he moves up in age and what not.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 07:02 PM
3

Well I'm going to hear back from a lawyer today/tomorrow to see what kind of retainer I'm looking at. Depending on that, I may have to get creative...unfortunately, my only family is pretty poor. My stbx has a lot of potential money via her family though and so that's kind of disconcerting.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:35 PM
3

I like the way you put that with getting a haircut. Yeah there's a way through this and while it can be tough to see past it all, I know it's there. I appreciate the insight. It's so hard because I know the person I married and I also know this person now and it's tough to reconcile the two. I know it's just one of those things that I have to wade through though. The fortunate thing is that we do agree on most things but the things we disagree on--spousal support mainly--are going to be very tou…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:34 PM
3

Yeah no I mean she agrees that daycare can be offset by her paying more but I'm realizing that our son, who is 1.5, won't be in daycare for a super long time especially because by the time we're done with things, he'll probably be 2 already. We're doing 50/50 but she does not want to pay child support/spousal support and so this is 100% where we're going to skid to a halt on being amicable unfortunately. I appreciate the help! Yeah I'm super looking forward to being on the other side of it all.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:31 PM
1

Thank you for that link! I'll continue to look it over
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:18 PM
1

8 years *this January and in Ohio. It's such a tough place to be in where I don't want to be vindictive or unfair but like, I didn't choose this and so looking out for myself is completely valid.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:18 PM
4

Yeah no she had talked to one and then was surprised I didn't want to use that one..."I'm not trying to hide anything" Suffice it to say, I'm seeking out a lawyer lol. I just talked to an office today and it made me feel 100% better about my options.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:17 PM
4

I'm considering a loan since I can't afford a lawyer outright. I'm realizing how the short term cost of that could really outweigh the long term ramifications.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:16 PM
2

I already am horrible at golf and so I'm on board with that! Yeah son will be good because he's awesome too.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:28 AM
1

Yeah so I'm aware of the 180--I want to make it work but my wife has consistently decided she does not want me, want it to work, and wants to move on and while I'd take her back if she has a change of mind, I'm done trying to change her mind for her. Volunteering is a good idea--so thank you for that. With the gym, I know it's easy to have a ton of workouts planned and what not but I'll make sure to ease into it. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 11:35 PM
1

Yeah so first off thank you for the suggestions! I'm salaried and so I have no interest in spending more time working lol. I also do drop off/pick up for our son since my work provides a place for it. Yeah cooking/being more nutrition aware is a good thought. I already do a decent amount of cooking/grilling but could lean more into healthy eating. I'm actually about to walk into the Y to go on a jog--so, hopefully I'll feel good after that. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 07:48 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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