Jumpy-University6461 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
24	Forgot ex's phone number		Jumpy-University6461	/r/Divorce_Men	17/06/24 03:31 PM
1	How'd your lawyer do?		Jumpy-University6461	/r/Divorce_Men	17/06/24 03:02 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	What are our worth without our jobs and assets It probably depends on venue and age. For online dating or bars, a man's value is measured in materialistic and shallow ways. Height, hairline, weight, bench press PR, income, and make/model car mean everything. In contrast, for church, a man's value is his faith and dedication matching the woman's faith and dedication. Big picture, marriage rates have trended down since 1970. There's a small exception tho. Just recently, there's been an uptick. It's likely related to the housing crunch, the eco…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/06/24 05:27 PM
2	What to do with income until divorce is finalized.... This varies. CA community property ends at date of separation.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/06/24 04:29 PM
1	What to do with income until divorce is finalized.... I eventually got a signature loan to consolidate. I brought 20-25% card interest rates (wtf) down to 4.8% which was incredible for just a signature. This was in the days of 2% prime tho. I kept as much cash on hand as possible. I was terrified of arrears. My salary dwarfed hers. I had no idea if she could choose to retroactively ask for lawyer fees. Lawyer said it was possible in the way lawyers always say anything is possible. Freaked me out in all honesty ... but it never happened.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/06/24 04:28 PM
1	Is there a document that could be signed prior to going to mediation? This is good advice. I'm in CA. Individual finances kick in at Date of Separation. That date was pretty obvious for us. She moved out. But ... yeah ... I didn't have a receipt or anything for that. So I filed within 30 days to cement it. It became an official court document which is hard to refute. She was doing strange things by that point. She emptied one bank account. And she bought a new car. That's really what prompted me to file. I only knew she bought a new car because she totaled her old…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/06/24 05:29 PM
4	Today is my anniversary I'd ignore it if we were on bad terms. I'd ignore it if we were on good terms. If I had an itch and found scratching it irresistible, at most, I'd acknowledge it on some neutral platform, text or email, with a minimalist message. Maybe something like "We made it another year but just barely. I couldn't just ignore it. It's hard to believe it's been 24 years. I remember a lot of good times. And I'm dedicated to letting the bad memories fade with time. I hope we both find peace. Thanks for everyth…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/06/24 05:16 PM
3	354 text messages over 10 days w/ some guy and she still denied cheating Wow, the work place is really tricky. I was given some advice from a guy who had a division of 100 people under him. Don't say anything that suggests you are damaged goods or your productivity is indefinitely compromised. And don't say anything unless you're sure there's a problem. I had a three year separation. In the third month of it, I took a lateral transfer for an easier position. I was new to the department. But I had a 10 year history with the company. So I get the unease with being new.…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/05/24 03:29 PM
3	How to stop wanting a relationship? Dating worked for me. Divorce took a back burner. Sushi became more important. I was in a long marriage. A lot has changed. There are some amazing women out there. They're fairly rare tho, maybe 1 in 20. So dating can become tedious and something of a second job. I think your instincts are sound. Wait until you're ready. It's a big step in letting go. That first date felt like sky diving to me. Reluctance to jump. No reverse when it happens. The marriage is over. (And I think this last sentence …	/r/Divorce_Men	30/05/24 03:17 PM
1	Why does everyone call their ex a narcissist? Narcissism is a Personality Disorder, not a Mental Health Issue DSM-5 (APA 2013; pages 669-672) This stuff is covered forwards and backwards in the DSM. The DSM is the standard classification of mental disorders used by mental health professionals. Don't armchair if you don't know. Not trying to be a dick, but you're propagating misinformation. It just diminishes the entire purpose of mental health.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/05/24 04:39 PM
4	Tonight is the first night I felt like filing for divorce My divorce shattered my life. I mean, I rose from the ashes and am okay now. But it took a toll on my mental health for sure. It's a shame. Our problems were pretty generic. They were generic enough to make me think they'll be common to all my future relationships. So, why not fix these things in THIS relationship? She didn't feel the same way. So my advice? Counseling. Focus on problem solving. And tell her divorce is all around a very shitty option for piddly shit that happens in every marriag…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 03:16 PM
1	To Mediate or No? I'm not laughing at your expense. But the "tools" thing cracked me up. In my case, the judge didn't want to mess with the details. He told us to split household goods 50/50. I asked what she wanted. She said all the electronics and all the tools. No shame. None. She was the weaker earner. She took it easy. And she's so ANGRY. I just don't get it. I handed over most of the tools. I kept a few items. She couldn't tell a torque wrench (kept) from a hammer (handed over).	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 02:32 PM
1	Guilt of the early stages of separation Similar story. We were in heavy duty counseling by year five. Divorce was on the table by year ten. I stayed for another ten years. I think about that decision all the time. Divorcing late: I feel like I fell on my sword a bit. Both of my kids are college educated and debt free. Staying together allowed ME to do that. She wasn't useful in any sense of the word. My kids are better off because I did not walk away. The ex and I fought like dogs. We had good moments too tho. But the kids have some e…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 02:20 PM
1	Feeling bad about feeling good Sounds like she's "house poor." It's a choice. Depending on area, she may do pretty well if she can hang on to the house. Plus she has options like renting out rooms. She must have substantial equity if a bank gave her a loan on her salary. Or maybe she assumed the loan? I'm guessing she's building a fledgling pension. Did she get years of service for subbing? Even if she's at 0 yrs service, she may do okay with just 10 years contributed. A pension packs away a surprising amount of money. She's …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 02:07 PM