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JuneCleaversMudFlaps Archive

View 0 posts and 141 comments by JuneCleaversMudFlaps on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Told her it’s going to be much less in her favor if we go to trial and she signed it that day. Laid out how according to the law she’d get less money, and how she was getting a good deal, and what a judge would order. All truths by the way, I just wanted her gone. She signed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 03:23 PM
2

Start recording her outbursts
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 12:54 PM
10

Which is why he said “you don’t get it.”
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 02:39 AM
14

Pdiddy is a piece of shit, objectively.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 02:37 AM
9

fuck it, take it to a judge and they will just go by the book. She tried to screw you and didn't get away with it. Just cut mediation at this point and go to trial
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 07:48 PM
2

Yeesh, i paid $5000 a month for two years while they drug out the fucking process to ensure we were married for 10 years so she got alimony. Fortunately its $2500 now, zero alimony, but paying child support for kids i have 90% of the time because she can't be bothered to parent anymore. Yes, i'll be going back to court, I just need to scrounge up the money to lawyer up and present a case against her. The system is so fucked
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/25 10:35 PM
1

Mine left the dog at her ex boyfriend’s house….. she never saw the vet once after the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 11:52 PM
2

gave the dog a bone
/r/PussyPassDenied20/02/25 04:02 PM
1

It was against the narrative her and her lawyer were trying to paint of me being an abusive piece of shit, when the reverse was true. I went into a deposition and answered the most ludicrous questions for 3 hours. The day before the temporary orders hearing, I found the video. We submitted it into evidence late that night, but didn’t use it in the hearing. It threw off her lawyer a bit, although he still went through with all the allegations, he saw and knew what we had, so he didn’t argue as ha…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 02:36 AM
6

Mine made me delete a video of her pointing a knife at me and threatening me. A couple years later during the divorce I found the video in iCloud. It changed everything for me. Store it somewhere and make her think you did it, like I apparently did (I don’t remember doing it).
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 01:28 PM
2

is this child support, or just support during the divorce proceedings? My support was 5k a month during the two year fiasco, and my child support after its all over is $2300
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 05:50 PM
2

/r/bpdlovedones Please visit this and understand you’re not alone. This sub may save your life. You need to get out
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 01:30 AM
9

It actually does play a role in some states when it comes to custody.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 01:34 PM
4

MOMSHMU
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 02:31 PM
4

I’ve had zero issues. However, the two partners I’ve had since my divorce had daughters around the same age, so it kind of works out because they seemed to get it. They also were/are really supportive of me fighting for my daughters and spending time with them. Caveat, neither of them had strong father figures in their life, the ex was poorly adjusted to that, the current has put in the work, and is well adjusted.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 01:46 PM
2

Yup. I was a regular there during my divorce. Once it was finalized and she was out of my life, I had to leave for my own mental health. Reliving that through other people was too much. Make sure you get into therapy brother, because you might be in a perpetual state of fight/flight and not know it. Getting back into the “real world” was quite difficult for me after that relationship. We’re all here for you, and that sub will be as well. It’s going to be an experience.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 01:09 PM
2

You have a great point, and I agree with you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 01:56 PM
3

Yeah this would be an easier route. Violation of the decree.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 12:57 PM
5

A lawyer is only as good as their client. Words to live by. Youre going to have to do a lot of legwork
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 11:13 PM
8

A dash cam should do the trick when it comes to audio. She may not even realize she’s being recorded. Just stick to the front of your vehicle during the exchange if you get out.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 06:21 PM
11

Weed through those. Try to match with people that may not match typical “beauty standards” and meet new kinds of women. That’s what I did and it’s been super rewarding. There’s some good women out there once you get through the ridiculous shit.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 04:26 AM
3

Well I’ve been through this exact same thing with a BPD, and while the divorce was costly fiscally and mentally, took two years, and was the worst experience of my life…… I’m grateful I did it. I’ve been in trauma/anxiety/PTSD therapy for 3 years now. My life is significantly better. She WILL destroy her chances at being a mother if you give her time, and it’ll be obvious that the kids are better in your care. Just document, use the school teachers, counselors, and a therapist to discuss what’s …
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 02:07 PM
10

44 and I won’t typically go under 40, but that’s just my preference when it comes to dating. Obviously there are very attractive young women in their 20s, but they’re kids to me. That’s just my perspective, and it might be because I have two daughters.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 04:42 PM
7

Be on your own for a bit. No point in using another person to fill a void that was missing from your marriage. You don’t even know how much baggage you may be carrying yet, and without proper healing, you can land in a world of hurt. I got in one too soon, ignored so many red flags it’s disturbing, trauma bonded, and then got destroyed. It’s not worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:00 AM
3

While I definitely understand your point, I think for her sexual health, she should know. We don’t know if this guy is doing this with other women, and it’s not going to do shit in the divorce. Nobody is going to bring this up and use it against OP for being honest with another person about their POS husband.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 03:58 PM
2

Standard custody, with summers. However, I got it to where she could no longer homeschool (which she wasn’t doing), and retainment of the standard agreement depends on grades and attendance. She’s failing at the basics, so custody is going to be another battle after this school year shakes out. We live in different school districts, so there’d be challenges with 50/50 in a large city with horrific traffic. So while yes, assets went 50/50, custody will be an ongoing thing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 07:22 PM
8

Well I left my house, and two kids, to escape from an abusive marriage. Didn’t step foot in it for two years. It didn’t affect anything at all, but it also depends on the state you’re in. Texas is 50/50, no bullshit, so no matter what her attorney tried, none of it worked. Everything went by the books, although they drug it out for two years. My lawyer just said “take the lies, and all the bullshit in stride. Don’t react to anything. Just answer yes sir, no sir, don’t over explain anything.” Gue…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 03:00 AM
16

Mine was a big booty latina. Currently on my second one, and i highly recommend
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 10:51 PM
1

Why was the stolen savings never brought up in the temp orders hearing?
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 01:15 PM
0

I’ve seen that too. The one I saw was made by a trans woman named Blaire White.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 11:59 AM
9

This year I really want to…….. “Travel the world!” -every dating app woman. Then go do it? Shit reads like you want to have someone pay for you to travel the world, but also respect that you’re a “strong independent woman.” Dating apps suck.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 11:57 AM
2

in the past 25 years, the longest i have been single is 6 months. Currently on a 3 month stint. I am definitely not looking and plan to stay single for as long as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 07:05 PM
2

You scrape by until you can get by. My initial support payment, before everything was finalized was 5k/mo. This paid for the mortgage, and all her bills. She milked that shit for two years with constant bullshit from her attorney to drag shit out until the marriage hit the 10 year mark, making her eligible for alimony. He didn’t even hide it in court, and constantly stated “we all know he just wants to get this over before they hit he 10 year mark….” Complete piece of shit human. Anyways, the cr…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 04:23 PM
1

Just don’t comment then? Youre not rude, you’re just an asshole.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 01:17 AM
3

He’s been cheating practically his whole marriage. She deserves a lot better than this asshole.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 09:31 PM
2

He’s definitely the problem here and there’s no question about it. His actions are those that most of us lament about on here with our exes. He needs to leave that poor woman alone and figure his shit out because he’s toxic as fuck
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 09:30 PM
2

Yup. I agree. It may not be “moral” but we’re already dealing with an abnormal situation that’s going to require some cleverness. I did exactly what this guy said and it worked in my favor. Played along until her lawyer fired her for “reconciling,” after being drug through the mud. She was out of money and temp orders were already in place, so she had no access to mine (she drained our savings for her clown show lawyer). After that, I went to my lawyer, wrote up a deal that favored me much more …
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 01:48 PM
1

It’s very nice to wake up on Friday morning and not be met with, “don’t forget we have x tonight, and y, z tomorrow to do” and thinking “fuck…..”
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 01:17 PM
2

He must workout.
/r/MensRights20/01/24 02:14 PM
4

She can say whatever she wants, but unless you’re on video stumbling around, then she can’t prove it. In California you can even buy liquor at the grocery store so it’s not like your bank statements have weekly trips to a liquor store. Also, from here on out, if you go out with friends or something, use cash. Don’t give them anything they can use against you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 02:34 AM
6

I’ve done individual counseling and couples. All have been women counselors and in the two separate women I did couples counseling with, they suggested that SHE needs to be in individual. One actually stopped after our first session and said, “I need to spend some time working with her.” So it was only just one session with me. The other, our therapist continually asked her to get into individual counseling and she refused. Neither relationship worked, and I still go to counseling on my own to b…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 02:30 PM
8

Judges hear this shit all the time, and they usually just ignore it. Keep in mind her attorney has access to all financials so they are going to take the drama route to make as much as they possibly can. Drag their feet, false accusations, etc…… mine were FAR worse. abusive threatened to kill her my parents were child molesters I was cheating I was a drunk I threatened my kids and they were scared of me No proof of anything of these false allegations. Right before the temporary orders hearing we…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 11:27 PM
25

Why was your dick out in a Safeway?
/r/PussyPassDenied29/12/23 04:55 PM
2

I changed mine to “Dolores”
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 09:38 PM
9

I paid 5k a month for two years while the case was pending and she drug her feet. Now I pay 2300 a month. Two kids, that’s just child support. No alimony.
/r/MensRights26/12/23 02:09 AM
2

Bro I went through hell and it was all because of her lawyer. So many lies and bullshit it was unreal. At the end of the day, the judge really didn’t give two shits about all their drama and stuck straight to the law. After the temporary orders hearing, when they didn’t get their way, I was feeling pretty confident, and although the support money required to give her monthly, during the temp phase was obscene, I gathered some intel during all of this. He actually told my lawyer if we tried to re…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 02:13 PM
3

I go to a female therapist and she has helped me with a lot. She always has my back, listens to me, helps me, and gives me a ton of reading material at my request. Shes never quick to defend my ex wife or my ex gf and calls them out for what they are. She’s not offended by my language or directness in communication, and when I’ve gotten angry at either ex, she listens to the situation and tells me that the way I reacted was good or bad based on each situation. It all boils down to them being a g…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 01:45 PM
2

Yeah I think he needs to eliminate that part and agree with him telling her everything he said here. Takes a lot of courage to own up to your shit
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 01:44 AM
3

Good! Sometimes getting under another body feels like the right thing to do, especially when you’re drinking. Now that you’re sober and you’ve had the time, processed your emotions, and realize what you’ve done, you’re ready. Drinking has caused me a LOT of heartbreak, sobriety has allowed me to look myself in the mirror and find myself again. Best of luck to you brother.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 10:49 PM
14

I wouldn’t show her this post because he states that he had one night stands galore, and she hasn’t even gone on a date. I don’t think that’s going to help his case here. I’d probably take that shit to the grave. Get tested though OP….. make damn sure you don’t have anything you can spread to her or else you’re extra fucked. Talk to her about it though. Apologize, ask for therapy, do whatever it takes to get your family back because I could never imagine having a woman like that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 10:33 PM
4

My lawyer showed me envelopes full of cash that he gave to judges. I shit you not.
/r/MensRights24/11/23 10:09 PM
4

Being hot does not equate to being a good person, and you know that now. She's going to do what shes going to do, you take care of yourself. My stbwx is gorgeous and gets nothing but rich men trying to make her their wife and promise to take care of her forever. They have no fucking clue what they are getting into. You can go try to get laid, but you may have some "issues" if its too soon. I certainly did and had to get viagra to get over that hump, which is now done. Focus on yourself, workout,…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 11:02 PM
22

Classic BPD hoover move. Stay the fuck away because therapy isn’t going to help. If she’s even going that is. The amount of time it takes for these people to live normal lives is extreme and she needs her supply, which is you. My ex wife is a BPD who has been an angel (relatively) towards me during all the exchanges we share. However, when I have my kids, my oldest daughter tells me shit that absolutely blows my fucking mind. She’s still a terrible human, it’s just not directed at me right now
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 11:46 PM
1

I threw mine out the car window driving down the country roads in Texas.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 09:42 PM
3

a GAL can fuck you if you aren't careful. They often aren't too fond of men, but it really REALLY depends on what kind of shithole she is living in and her ability to get the kids to and from school. For me a GAL would have probably given me primary custody, but her lawyer bled us dry until he fired her for not paying his extraordinary bills. We worked things out with my attorney, got her off her "medication," and into a nice place with the help of her family and boyfriend. If your ex can put on…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 12:00 AM
20

Mine has a freaking boyfriend and is still trying to get back with me. They all realize quickly how good they had it and the low effort they put in was the cause of the demise. Oh that, and they have to pay all the bills now. Could be more of that than anything
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 05:15 PM
1

Let’s go brother!! You got this!!!
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 01:28 PM
3

It’s of value for sure. Next time she does it, call the police and tell them your wife is hitting you. Trust me man, this can turn on you so fast. However, evidence will show the cops you didn’t do anything and they SHOULD NOT place you under arrest
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 09:01 PM
2

She can literally call the cops right now, say you physically assaulted her and get taken to jail. Even with zero evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 07:17 PM
3

Exactly what I did. Byeeeee bitch
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 01:12 AM
11

Not only is it tax free, but ever since 2018, you are unable to claim the payments on your taxes. Shit sucks and has financially ruined me
/r/MensRights24/06/23 03:59 PM
7

Call your friend, meet him for lunch, and show him everything you have. See what resources are available to you and use them if possible. KEEP RECORDING EVERYTHING because you will need it. She will pull that card. she will call the police, and she will accuse you of something you never did. Trust me on this. It took a LOT for me to leave because we have two children together, and fuck man, it was HARD. The divorce, the lying, the money, the embarrassment of everything, and having to rehash her …
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 06:47 PM
2

It’s true unfortunately. I’m getting downvoted for whatever reason, but people have no idea how abusive she was. When you get held at knifepoint for existing around a waitress that was “cute” then you have to make sure you’re protecting yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 12:54 AM
5

I literally left the state when mine was being served because i knew she would try to pull some shit. She refused to answer for the processing server, so I had to tell her sister that i was coming by to get some stuff, and if I had to, i would break into the house. Since i own it, i have that right (i checked with my lawyer). So i came back to town, drove to the house, and knocked loudly. She was scared that I would break a window to get in (we have a deadbolt that does not unlock from the outsi…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 08:00 PM
–

Same, and now I get them three weekends in a row! I opted for 2nd, 4th, and 5th month rather than the standard agreement
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 04:01 PM
7

I recorded her threatening me with a knife. Telling me to give her my phone, raging, threatening behavior. Once I submitted that into discovery, we had a deal on the table almost immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 05:57 PM
3

Flourishing job market. I think you’d have a great time
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 01:08 AM
2

It’s not that bad. It’s not SF. It’s liberal for sure, but it’s also Texas so there’s a mix of everyone. The second you drive 30 min in any direction it’s deep red.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 12:29 AM
2

I meet them everywhere I go. Online is easy, but just going out and hitting a show you’re going to meet a ton of people. This place is loaded with single people, a lot are younger, but there are plenty of divorced women as well.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 12:28 AM
1

Better Latin culture in SA for sure, and also more to do, cheaper, and much larger. Better metal scene as well. If you like latina women (like me) then you’ll be in the mix.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 09:18 PM
2

Divorced and in my 40s. Austin is amazing for dating and meeting women. They’re everywhere and I love it. Haven’t had a single issue with the exception of a few lying about their weight. I didn’t judge, still had a lot of fun with them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 08:56 PM
9

Brother I paid 5k for almost two years, and basically waited out the crazy shit until her lawyer fired her. Then we struck and set a final date, which terrified her, and got her to sign a decent deal to avoid all that. I took all the debt, but got 50/50 with everything else. Child support is now less than half of what I was paying. Your kids need you. Quit fighting the person, and fighting your demons, and work on being the best dad you can be. They’ll see what’s up. If you have no access to the…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 02:13 PM
1

This is very difficult and I cannot imagine being in your spot. The church will have her back and do what they can to ensure the kids are with her, especially if you come out with the truth. It sounds like you’re completely wasting your life in a religion that you want nothing to do with. You’re already pretending, and doing things you don’t want to do, but you feel as though your kids are in some kind of manipulative danger. I guess the only advice I have, is to start documenting her behavior w…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 06:17 AM
3

Honestly, don’t even bring it up. Work on a 50/50 split and let the mediator tell her the law. You’ll spend more money fighting shit than you will getting anything. Figure out the best way to move forward without getting completely screwed. Even if it’s 60/40, it’s better than failing mediation and going to trial with lawyers. It’s bullshit man.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 06:06 AM
2

I’m here too. I know lawyers that won’t fucking destroy your bank. DM me if you’re interested.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 12:21 AM
6

What the fuck are you even talking about. You use EVERYTHING you have. Fuck this bitch, fuck whatever the cops have to say, get your affairs in order, send EVERYTHING to an attorney. Go into debt, and protect yourself. This is crazy to me. You need to ATTACK. You need to go on the offense. You cannot just sit back and let the system, and this fucking piece of shit, ruin your life. You got one life. One. Don’t even.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 12:20 AM
6

They can and they will. They’ll establish bond and if you cannot pay 10% you sit there until your next hearing, and even then you may not get out. That’s how the system works
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 12:17 AM
0

Well then you might be able to do something
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 08:51 PM
1

does she have a medical card?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 07:57 PM
6

Yeah you don’t date women like that if you’re looking for something long term or serious. You can have that on your roster, but that’s not dating material.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 04:09 PM
5

Yup. This just worked for me. She settled immediately (I was giving her a pretty good deal). Signed yesterday!!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 09:07 PM
10

Prenups
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 03:58 PM
2

I did an online service called Lemonaid health care, got asked a couple questions, then got ED meds shipped to me. That got me back on track in that regards, but something was still off with me. Ended up going to the doctor and got my hormones checked and i was severely low in the testosterone range. Got put on TRT and things have been amazing since then.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 03:32 PM
2

Same dude. Got ED meds and it got me over the mental hump and put me back to normal. Happens to a lot of us.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 03:25 AM
3

Yeah it’s a huge scam and they all get paid from it. You got to find a lawyer with the morals not to take you to the house, but who still knows and pays the judges. My guy was really honest with me, he protected me, and was really good at his job. He didn’t charge me a lot of the time I spent with him
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 11:38 PM
5

I’ve been through this and was smeared like you wouldn’t believe. In my case (Texas) the judge really didn’t give a fuck what she and her attorney were saying. They wanted supervised visits that I’d pay for, and once every other week. They were saying things that were VERY criminal in nature. I got standard custody. Find a lawyer concerned with the financial aspects of the divorce, and one that knows the judges. As crazy as this sounds, mine paid judges in cash every month. He grew up neighbors …
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 11:24 PM
1

I guess we need the “why” here. Let your kids explore the world, even if it’s with your ex wife. What’s the reason for wanting them locked down?
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 01:28 PM
17

Good luck. You deserve to be happy, and she can choose to be miserable alone. She made her bed the second she started putting you down and comparing you to other men. This will not be easy. Trust me. It’s worth it though
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 06:52 PM
6

Absolutely. Went on two dates with two women and found out really quickly that I was not ready. Aside from my dick not working, guessing it was trauma related, I realized that had nothing to offer at the time. Put my ass into therapy immediately, and got as healthy as possible and came back stronger. First woman I went on a date with after that has been my GF for a year. Great advice
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 01:54 AM
3

Relatable. Your mother in law is going to be a massive pain in the ass during your divorce. Expect anything and everything. Mind your manners completely, and remember, a lawyer is only as good as their client. They yap, you gather data/evidence. I dealt with this little mommy/daughter thing, both diagnosed with BPD. Both on vyvanse and Xanax. We have two daughters, house, finances of which she has none. I’m a year and a half in, got an apartment and a dog, and still going through it. Make the mo…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 05:27 AM
6

Don't go the drama route because lawyers are going to eat that shit up and take all your money with bullshit that has no bearing on anything. Just let it go, unless you have kids and he is a danger to them. None of that matters, but lawyers will give you the illusion that it does, and milk you for everything you have.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 04:54 PM
4

Not to be crude but maybe she’s really hot.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 02:07 PM
13

At this point in time, you kind of have to let her live her life and you live yours. You’re going to meet a woman eventually that you’ll being the kids around. Any good partner is not going to try to coerce the kids into calling them mom or dad. Any solid parent will also make that clear and allow your children and their partner to be friends, until things get a little more serious and everyone is under the same roof. Just be a good dad, like you are, and that’s how your children will see you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 07:17 PM
3

Yup. Happened to me for sure. Got the little Blue pill and things have recovered on their own, with a little help from that
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 09:30 PM
5

It’s really nice isn’t it? I’ve been with my current partner for 10 months and I’m helping her purchase her first home (moral support/advice) and there’s zero intention of me moving in. Once I sell my house with my ex, I’ll look into buying my own place. The low stress of it all is incredible.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 09:45 PM
11

I found a girl that never wants to marry or cohabitate again. Things are definitely going very well and it’s been an incredible experience. It’s perfect for me, and for her. The right one is out there for everyone. We have three kids between us, they love hanging out and we have a cool little blended family
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 07:48 PM
12

It’s so bad man. Unbelievable that this can happen
/r/MensRights03/12/22 04:41 AM
31

Believe he said it was denied multiple times
/r/MensRights03/12/22 02:21 AM
3

Yeah but my time is more valuable that even thinking about her garbage 🗑️
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 04:17 AM
5

Nah just let her have it. I tossed mine out the window at some point. Don’t care. You gave it to her, so it’s hers to do what she wants with
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 11:27 PM
12

Y’all just grew apart but you built a life together. Since hers is ending, I think you’re doing a wonderful thing for her and your family. Good luck brother. You’re a good man
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 12:37 AM
3

Mirroring and love bombing. Plus she’s incredibly beautiful. The signs were always there. Extremely jealous and controlling but I felt like I had found my soulmate. I thought I could work through it but time and time again, we would fight and argue. I was never enough. Two kids and 10 years later I finally had the strength to leave
/r/MensRights03/11/22 12:40 PM
10

Thank you man. Means a lot
/r/MensRights03/11/22 02:09 AM
24

She isolated me from my family first. Then used covid as a way to isolate me further. It took a LOT for me to run out of there and I’m not upset that I did. Shit happens, just gotta rebuild and I’m ok with that. Fuck her.
/r/MensRights03/11/22 01:29 AM
41

First was a deposition. Second was a preliminary hearing. I was the one that filed, they went full scorched earth. After the preliminary hearing, where we knew what they were going to do, we entered all my shit into discovery. We were saving it thinking they wouldn’t go low and would handle shit professionally.
/r/MensRights03/11/22 12:00 AM
137

Yup. I’ve been a part of it. Just dealt with a shitty deposition and all the false allegations during a preliminary hearing. I just turned the volume down on the computer so I didn’t have to listen to the shit and react. And then we entered all the video, texts, emails, etc…. That I had been gathering for years into discovery. That shit stopped pretty quick and her lawyer fired her. That was satisfying. It’s still not over, but mediation is now on the table.
/r/MensRights02/11/22 09:41 PM
12

You’re wrong here man. You’re not a part of your exes life, other than the kid, therefore you’re not entitled to feel left out. Just let your kid have breakfast with them, it’s not your place to intrude.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 02:06 AM
3

Look dude, it’s not your fault. None of this is. You’re wrapped up in it and so are your kids, but your responsibility lies with the children. You have to protect them, and if it comes at the cost of your marriage, then it does. They’re so innocent in all this and they do not deserve to have her trauma giving them trauma. Neither do you. It’s tough, but that’s the truth. Deal with your guilt through therapy, that would be the responsible thing to do, and if you can, support the mother of your ch…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 03:19 AM
7

Same thing. Tried to come crawling back after her ridiculous claims in court were shot down. Oops. Too late bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 10:10 PM
8

I got a chihuahua puppy and we do all kinds of stuff together. He’s been a godsend. Also bagged a Colombian GF who is amazing. You will find your way brother.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 02:06 AM
3

Yeah I have two kids with her so we have to communicate. She treats me like property still
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 08:23 PM
5

Yeah I won’t either. My partner and I both do not want marriage and that’s great for both of us.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 08:22 PM
43

My wife had borderline personality disorder and gave me trauma that I’m still recovering from. Lots of therapy, medication, working out, etc…. I still struggle immensely. That being said it didn’t deter me and I now have an absolutely wonderful woman in my life that is supportive, kind, sets and follows boundaries, and showers me with love. Not love bombing, but real adult love. There are good women out there, but if you’re chasing nothing but 10s in the looks department, you could end up really…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 05:01 PM
3

Lol. My temporary orders have me paying 5k a month. I take home (after taxes, insurance, etc…) ~8k a month
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 01:20 AM
10

Then have your own birthday with him. He’s 15, so explain why you wanted to do that. He should understand.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 02:18 AM
8

Dude, you can’t worry about the why because it won’t make sense. Your ex is toxic and being driven by a toxic mother. There’s no winning even thinking about trying to reason with it. You’re not only going to be fighting your ex in your divorce, you’re going to be fighting her mom. It’s going to be nasty and it’s obvious just reading this. Communicate through written word if possible, but be prepared for everything. She’s gonna try to get back with you when things don’t look like they’re going he…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 11:53 PM
2

I’m capable of true love
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 12:00 AM
3

Facts
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 07:39 PM
3

And funny enough they cause trauma. Been in therapy for 10 months now.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 01:13 PM
5

I’m in a BPD split and she’s mirroring me and hoovering hard. As if I forgot ……
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 02:27 AM
14

I worked out like a mad man and got into therapy. Wasn’t enough for me. I got on Lexapro and continued my therapy and working out, and I’m a changed man. It’s not for everyone but you should absolutely talk ton me your doctor.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 08:33 PM
21

Man this sucks, but learn from this. Understand that at the end of the day you’re the only one you can rely on. You’re the one that’s going to get you through this shit. She abandoned you, it hurts, and that’s that. You can’t change that shit so take some time to find yourself and what makes you happy. You don’t have to toe along any extra baggage it’s just you. Find a hobby, get some friends, go out and explore the city and the world. It’s all yours bud. Keep your head up because you know what …
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/22 01:24 AM
2

Keep that woman you’re in a relationship with close brother.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 04:14 AM
13

Divorce should be a 50/50 split of assets obtained during the marriage. None of the bullshit matters, unless you have proven cases of abuse, within the last couple of years, and child custody is at stake. These lawyers will promise you the moon, and aide in painting your spouse black, when in reality, most of the time none of that shit matters at all. They have access to all your finances, so if either party has access to money, they will use the drama to drain the accounts, profit, and waste ev…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 11:14 PM
16

If they start to ask anything other than finances, for instance, personal drama between you and your spouse…. Bail.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 09:37 PM
2

Get a lawyer and file. Once you file you can get temporary orders in place that will give you some sort of control, otherwise you do not have any ground to stand on. Document everything too. If she starts getting wild, or weird in any way (in regards to the kids), you want a trail of evidence. This is especially true if she tries any sort of parental, or familial isolation.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 01:07 AM
3

It’s so frustrating. Wait until the hearings start when they try to paint you out as a monster. Or if they depose you. That shit sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 07:16 PM
5

Left an abusive woman of 10 years and it took me about 6 months of therapy and self reflection before I was ready to date. Had a panic attack on my first date with a wonderful woman, who thought I was rejecting her (because I had to leave). She stuck it and met with me again, and slowly drew me out of my “safe space” and back into society. She rocks my world, supports me, is understanding, and gives great insight as I wrap up my divorce. I got extremely lucky, and I know that, but it’s my story
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 02:25 AM
14

Get a prenup. Don’t fuck around
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 02:19 AM
11

When you go to a lawyer and he asks you about your personal life and any drama they can use against your spouse, you fucking run. When you go to a lawyer and they want only financial details, you’ve found your person
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 11:01 PM
7

I knocked on the door while the process server hid around the corner. Since i own the home she knew i could just walk in so she answered the door, i got into the doorway, and the guy came around the corner and served her
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 06:31 PM
1

In my opinion you want a good attorney that has been around for a while and knows what he is up against. If your attorney starts asking about your personal life over finances, then he is going to waste everyones time. A false allegations are nothing without evidence. In my deposition and my temporary orders hearing, i got destroyed by her lawyer on a bunch of bullshit allegations, and he painted me out to be a monster. We basically shut the fuck up the entire time, barely asked her any questions…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 06:52 PM
2

I’m my experience, without evidence they don’t hold water. The judges have heard everything and they don’t take what people say too seriously if they have nothing to back it up.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 12:50 PM
6

Ah so you're my estranged wifes ex husband
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/22 10:31 PM
1

Of course it’s ok! Brother I’ve been through the ringer with a diagnosed BPD woman. They’re horrific when it comes to divorce and custody. It’s going to be hard, but you will get through it. Might I suggest heading over to /r/BPDlovedones and have a look at the stories we all share. It might make sense to you if she truly is, and it’s an amazing group of people supporting each other
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/22 11:20 PM
3

Start recording your interactions with your wife. If she had BPD, you’re going to get some solid stuff to work with. I left my wife wBPD three months ago and you’re going to need to protect yourself when she paints you black. I’ve gone through a couple hearings so far and it’s fucking terrible. They will lie about you in ways you’ve never imagined and if she has any evidence to back her claims then it’s an uphill battle.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/22 08:10 PM
2

This is my life currently. Thank you for the book.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/22 08:07 PM
3

Thank you, i appreciate hearing that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 07:42 PM
5

Solid attitude. I’ve been through the same shit with mine who slandered me so hard in court it made me sound like a vile and evil mother fucker. They’ve heard it all before and I got what I asked for in my temporary custody hearing. Basically her shit held no water and they saw through it
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/21 05:39 AM
3

I personally feel like its important for you to think about what happened and process everything. Maybe even get a therapist for a bit to work through it. I feel for you though, the system sucks and i am right in the middle of it currently. I know i am going to get screwed and i have come to terms with it. I would not take the opportunity just yet, but would spend the time working on myself. You owe it to yourself and you deserve it
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 08:43 PM
1

Does she accuse you of doing things you aren’t doing?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 12:58 AM
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