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JustTheSpecsPlease Archive

View 8 posts and 125 comments by JustTheSpecsPlease on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Early in Harris' campaign, she told the crowd "If you want to know who cares about you, look at who fights for you." Following that, we heard a litany of women's issues as the forefront of her campaign. In the past few weeks, we've heard an unending stream of "why are younger male voters voting for Trump?" Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for working to resolve those women's issues, and longstanding issues we have had with addressing true equality in this country for our most underserved groups.…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/11/24 01:43 AM
1

I’m not sure I’d go that far. I’d agree that humans are a significant driver.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/09/24 04:04 AM
3

Good suggestion. I compiled a long list of examples from the last 48 hours this morning, and wrote a respectful, yet direct email to the "editor" about the topic, and gave permission to quote me. I will be astonished, yet pleased if I am responded to in any way.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates19/09/24 06:35 PM
1

Well, what if your partner is a woman?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/08/24 04:00 AM
4

Not a lawyer. Also, sorry for your circumstances. This stuff is awful. You’ll need to get a good lawyer who is well-prepped to negotiate a settlement. For reference, a settlement forestalls a trial, which is probably a good thing in your case. Judges in California tend to stick to the guidelines (IMO, because straying from those requires thought and judgment). If you can get the ex to agree to take any means of compensation (cash+assets+additional enticements) to resolve things, and get that sig…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 03:35 AM
6

Your gut is right. Do everything you can to get a settlement. While the payouts are crippling, you can prevent being on the hook to her forever. And that's not hyperbole. It sounds like you've been married for more than 10 years, which opens the door to lifetime servitude alimony. The only upside is that she'll have to pay tax on her payouts as income. You don't get to write a damned thing off (federally, at least), but the government sees her payments as her income. Shitty upside. I know.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 02:51 AM
2

I wrestled with this as my divorce became an acrimonious grind. I suspect that divorce isn't regarded as "Unjust enough." It feels related to the concept of the "less dead." I distinctly remember closing the Zoom window after my trial ended and thinking to myself that "this didn't seem just. It seemed formulaic." I'll be paying until the day of my death, so I get it. Settle things if you can, and put time boundaries on any terms. Child support is a responsibility, but lifetime alimony is a sente…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 01:48 AM
5

It may seem exorbitant, but, trust me. 100 bucks to finish a thing in this process? Pay and move on. It's not even a noticeable expense. It may hurt now, but just pay it. Be done.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 02:49 AM
1

Again, careful. The sentence out of her lawyer's mouth after "Oh, dear, we'll get him to pay for your education" is "we'll also make him pay the legal fees." I shit you not, I had to pay 100 percent for the lawyer hired to take me apart. Do everything you can to keep her away from your standard shitbag divorce lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 01:23 AM
1

Others have said this, but I'll repeat: Be careful. Once she meets with a lawyer, her agreeable tone could change. She'll definitely find out that you'd be on the hook to support her in her first session with representation.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 12:03 AM
3

This is what's missing from an credible "men's movement." Women have been very effective in creating unrequited support for each other. We need to do the same -- resist diminishing our fellow guys, and cover each other's asses. Nice work, u/Plus_Ad_4041. Seriously. Family court can slap you around, and it's very easy to just give up. You're vertical, you're productive, and you refuse to give up. You deserve some backup. Stay at it, mister. We all need to take better care of each other.
/r/MenSupportMen30/05/24 05:24 AM
5

I remember the same "water torture." I responded as you did with paper that took laborers to deliver, they responded with one, long continuous PDF file in no particular order. Fucking bastards.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 03:05 AM
2

She lied a lot on her petition but without an attorney I still might lose. You will lose. As distasteful as it is, retain representation, and manage whoever you get.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 10:23 PM
2

Good on you, man. Don’t look back.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 04:47 AM
4

Good stuff. All gospel. Being pro se while your STBX is represented by an attorney is like bringing a knife to a gun fight. It's more like bringing a slide whistle and a spoon. As repulsive as it is, get a family lawyer, and drive him/her to represent you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 12:00 AM
1

Prepare yourself, and consult an attorney. The courts are going to say they aim to maintain the "Marital standard of living," and an awful lot of that comes from your yearly income. Hopefully you both earn similarly and the courts decide to pay attention to that. Still, the lawyers wouldn't get paid if it were that simple, so... Get your head around the numbers. Your attorney can likely access "dissomaster" -- a software tool the courts use to divide assets and set alimony in a divorce. Get him/…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 06:40 PM
1

Your anger is justified, for sure. Still, your best revenge is to live well. I sincerely wish that happens in short order for you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 12:01 AM
2

Take the win. If she balks and this goes to trial, the lawyer fees are going to be substantial, and depending on where you are, that could mean you're paying hers as well. Go. Be free.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 11:54 PM
2

virtue posturing and emotional displays of indignation or outrage Characterizing the specific conditions I supplied to you at your request as virtue posturing, indignation and outrage shows how disingenuous you are: You just don't care to see the very broken concept that this has become. Moreover, you fail to engage with the deeper issues that give rise to the destruction of lives at the hands of checked-out judges, grifty, ethicless divorce attorneys, and the $50 billion industry divorce has be…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/04/24 06:00 PM
3

I'm not against alimony as a concept. I am against its blanket application, at least in California. Specific example: 17 years married, no kids. Ex decided she wanted a career change from a 250K/year job to something that earns 30K. That 30K job dissolved during Covid. She made no subsequent effort to find employment, and decided to go back to school for the third time. When she filed, she showed zero income. Courts assumed she had made great sacrifices to support my career (it was the direct op…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/04/24 05:49 PM
6

So true. It's the only "no" any of us have left.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 12:25 AM
1

I don’t know enough about your jurisdiction to help much. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:43 AM
2

Letter? No. Process server with orders,? yes.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 03:14 AM
3

*clink* Cheers to the next chapter, amigo.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 02:23 AM
6

Divorce happened in California. I’ve moved on, but that’s the jurisdiction I have to obey.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 06:23 AM
9

You're not wrong. I just got laid off. The ex's attorney says I'm in contempt of alimony orders because I lost my job. Despite the ex doing nothing to become self supporting, and my still sending on-time payments. Yet, I don't dare go back to court to have the monthly payouts aligned with current earnings because it'll open opportunities for her to come for more when I'm re-employed -- which only I am willing to do. Why? Because I earn, and I'm male, and she should be paid to sit on her ample as…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 05:56 AM
50

This makes sense to me. Men, by practice, are demonized, then follow politics of “keep.” Women, by practice, are lionized, then follow politics of “take.” None of this is revealed in context of how much of a devious piece of shit either person is.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates27/01/24 04:19 AM
1

Do this. Then book a month in southeast Asia. Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia are the most beautiful places in existence.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 02:37 AM
15

I’ve taken to walking in, and yelling “MY FUCKING PLACE.” Felt weird at first, now it’s my sanctuary.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 06:08 AM
8

I discovered something revealing this week: In California, they rotate family court judges, and having any experience with family court is not at all a requirement for the position. Of 3 judges rotating into position in my shitty county in January, 2 have never heard a single family court case. Their tee times are more important to them than the wreckage they introduce into your life.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 04:49 AM
1

Amazing. You’re such a cunt, I wonder if you’re actually a feminist troll in disguise. Bitch. Go away. You’re useless.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 02:11 AM
1

Yeah. That seems like it would work. I’ll say it again. Just shut up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 04:55 PM
1

Thank you. I shall avoid. This advice is just as valuable as referrals to the competent ones. Much appreciated.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 04:54 PM
1

Well, we can pile up the mistakes I’ve made, but gosh, thanks for your lack of help. Maybe just shut up?
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 08:54 PM
4

Same here. It kills me that I have to continue at warp speed toward bankruptcy as I try to get the courts to acknowledge I have no income, but I have very low expectations. Piss away another 10k on empty suits to serve me up to more penalties from the courts? Fantastic. It’s not encouraging that there are no recommendations so far. I think I may be fucked. Edit: no. Her getting more than a million between lawyer fees, retirement assets, real assets, temporary spousal support and permanent spousa…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 04:24 AM
2

I felt the same way once I had any hope of retirement erased by the courts, and googled "Alimony reform in California." Turned this up: http://www.calalimonyreform.org/ That site, and the attached Facebook account haven't even been updated since 2020. It appears that most who get screwed in alimony-for-life schemes don't get much of a chance to fight much of anything. I do agree that more of us need to band together to affect change, but I will admit, I have to work double time just to make ends…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 11:17 PM
2

They file the legal separation paperwork, and wife waives alimony and asset splits in the legal separation paperwork. This happens? /s Will a judge simply use his discretion to overturn the legal separation paperwork that was filed 20 years prior and grant the wife alimony and assets? It would not surprise me at all that a separation of 20 years that was never followed through on gets ignored by a judge in California, especially if they were still cohabitating. I also suspect a lawyer would have…
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 12:22 AM
4

I absolutely feel your pain. Mine did the same. I had to pay through the nose after trial, but the raiding she did, plus the interest, was deducted from the overall bloodletting. Didn’t make me feel any better, but I was eventually compensated for her shopping sprees.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 10:15 PM
9

Document everything. Then call your lawyer for the right next step. Locking her out of funds may have a negative effect in court, so don’t do anything rash without counsel.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 09:01 PM
5

This is the right advice. Prepare, and be ready to act. Give things a last chance, but if your needs aren't acknowledged, move.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 02:03 AM
2

It is indeed 10 years in California, and OP will definitely have to hand over stocks, retirement, and lawyer fees.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 04:14 AM
3

Ask yourself: Would she sue you if positions were reversed?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 06:05 PM
2

Not necessarily very high. My income before taxes and alimony make me decidedly middle class on the west coast. The difference between my income and her new (engineered) minimal income is what makes the draw so large. Retirement might have been comfortable if I didn't have to hand over half of it. The plan always was to continually contribute until there was a large enough amount that investment returns would have topped off those accounts by retirement. When halved, that plan falls apart. I con…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 04:32 PM
20

*No kids, no drugs/booze/domestic violence. She decided she liked sleeping with her coworkers after 17 years married. Five years before stepping out, she made 250K a year. Decided she wanted to go back to school, worked halfass part time, then decided to "focus completely on her studies" and filed once she showed minimal income for two years. Refused to negotiate or mediate. Insisted on going for the full trial, with forensic accountants, several lawyers, PIs, etc. Lifetime alimony keeps me fair…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 01:34 AM
1

Everyone's situation is different, but I have responded with a total of two thing since all of this went down: "What do you want?", which is usually followed by "No" Hasn't made anything any better, but it hasn't made it worse.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 07:47 PM
3

As long as you don’t care about the photos your ex has taken, I think it’s sensible to ask “what’s in this for me?”
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 08:15 PM
3

Be careful, man. Just protect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:23 AM
4

Similar position, no kids, but paying for life. Not sure I'm over the anger, but it isn't as constant as it used to be. They say time will resolve it, and it seems like that's starting to become true. In the interim, work to change the thought pattern when you get into the well of anger. I wouldn't have been able to function without figuring out how to stop the pissed-off review in my head. Don't do anything rash, and be good to you first.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:52 AM
–

Probably not. Hire a forensic accountant if this goes to trial. If this is part of a settlement, though, entitlement is all this is. They may feel entitled to the former value of investments, but the current value is what most likely would be considered. But that's in court. Background: Had to fork over half of investment account, based on the account value the day of actual divorce after a full trial. In California. If California doesn't hold you responsible for interest rates and market sentim…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 05:23 AM
33

Same. Got banned for suggesting to an angry woman that her husband had every right to petition for support. Meh. Fewer screechy moonmaidens in the feed works for me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:32 AM
15

I went backpacking for a week. Odd celebration, I know, but after all of the constant work to prep the house for sale, sell the house, pack all my stuff, find a new place to live, move, and write checks for nearly my entire net worth, disappearing for a week felt nice.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 09:15 PM
-1

Easy, there, Brutus.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 02:35 PM
10

It is absolutely an effort to squeeze you for even more cash. Get an accountant to review. It will likely be worth the money.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 06:58 PM
3

She's got the money for a lawyer, and the demands for ridiculous support because they plan to dump all expenses on you. They'll probably succeed. If you're in California, they definitely will succeed If you choose to stop paying, they'll make hay out of it in court, and you'll get burned to the ground as a result. Hate to say it, but they have you by the short and curlies, mainly because you committed the crime of busting your ass supporting everyone and allowing her to coast at your detriment. …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 05:25 AM
9

I know it’s not a plea for help. You have a well justified right to be white-hot pissed off. Take a step back. Look at you. You were meant to do and have good. Don’t let petty bullshit from the ex make you do anything drastic. You still have good coming. Plow through this. It will get better. It’s hard to see now, but it will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 11:37 PM
1

Options -- right. Stock options I had vested in and hadn't sold. Those got divided I would have used the cash from the sale of options to pay down my personal debt to leave myself room to hit credit cards when I needed them for moving, unexpected lawyer upcharges, etc. Marital debt still got split, so there's no reason to pay that down until the split is done. Bombshelter mode is just the effect of the previous two -- get as far away from monthly debt as possible so I could endure the upcoming e…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 01:07 AM
17

Had I known what was coming, I would have cashed in options, changed jobs, shut down every penny of debt, and slowly sold “marital assets” (I had a LOT of rural equipment - tractor, attachments, work vehicles, trailers, etc.) for cash. I also wouldn’t have busted my ass to remodel a house out of pocket. I would have also insisted that my ex start actually working instead of chasing foolish hobbies disguised as a fledgling business, and documented those conversations. At trial, my willingness to …
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 03:15 AM
1

I worked 30 years to do what I do now. In no way am I giving that up for the caliber of person I’ve encountered in this divorce (especially including the ex). Fuck that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 02:49 AM
1

Depends. Garnishment is offered at trial in many cases, and fighting that action is virtually unwinnable. Or at least my shitbag attorney believes. In my case, the judge reminded the ex's lawyer that she should request "wage attachment" after handing over the majority of my life savings when in all likelihood, the attorney would have forgotten to ask for it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 10:37 PM
5

If you can at all manage it, Illinois. You will have your earnings raided in CA. You’ll end up paying for both lawyers. Alimony is pretty much guaranteed if you’re in CA. Run, don’t walk, to Illinois and file.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 09:37 PM
2

I have not been subjected to this yet, but from what I've been advised: Social Security will likely be split (if it's still there in your later years) You'll be expected to maintain the same income to support, and will have to fight for reductions if you ever lose a job/get paid less/have any health conditions that force you to stop working Your retirement assets will be divided More importantly, you're likely to be expected to support an ex spouse until your death if your marriage was longer th…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 12:42 AM
1

Yeah. This is lawyer #2. He’s really earned the #2 part. I think I just want to be done with lawyers. I have a hard time believing going it alone would have had any worse effects.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 09:11 PM
3

Thanks. I have the same suspicions and have aired them loudly. The lawyer and I are not on the best footing anymore, but he has 50k, and I have bills and taxes. Fuck that guy.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 01:00 AM
2

Damn. So I'm really risking having to pay even more in legal fees for the ex if this goes poorly, huh? And yay. Extra fees. Maybe I can get laid off.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 10:00 PM
3

Yeah. My lawyer is walking garbage, but I'm flat broke. The trial, paying both sides' legal fees, and equalization payments took everything -- savings, investments, cash on hand -- everything. Interesting how those final numbers lined up.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 09:52 PM
3

That has been under consideration.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 08:41 PM
9

This is solid advice. Stop working OT now. OP will have to hand over paycheck stubs for several months, and those will become the basis for support. The more OP earns on those paychecks, the more the courts will consider OPs "access to funds" as justification to increase her support.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 03:52 PM
2

While waiting to go to my trial, I watched a judge roll his eyes, and interrupt a litany of complaints like the ones your ex is threatening to bring you to court for. The judge told her to "grow up and cooperate, for the sake of your kids, and stop bringing trivial complaints like this before this court. Work it out." I'm sure they're all different, but this judge did not appreciate having to be a referee over petty bickering. ​ So, I agree with a few other commenters. Let her take you to court.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 11:41 PM
1

If you're going to file, file now. Once you go past 10 years in CA, permanent support is very, very possible.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 08:51 PM
2

You must be relieved to be able to laugh about the 5K monthly sentence from here. Congrats again. Hoping I follow in your footsteps Monday, but California may decide my ex's story (pretty much just like your ex's) has merit. Fingers crossed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 10:59 PM
9

Congratulations. The lack of alimony is a big win. Breathe easy. What state are you in?
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 10:49 PM
11

Get a new credit card in your name only. Use that to retain a lawyer. File on the woman, and include restraining orders preventing her from running with the kids. Move on this. Now. She’s shown you who she is. Believe her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 07:13 AM
2

Anyone who dumps on you for taking alimony has absolutely zero experience in this realm. If positions were switched, she’d come for all she could. Even if she’s not that greedy, her lawyer absolutely would be. Screw anyone who judges you for taking alimony. Get a lawyer, press the issue, and know that a lot of us are 100 percent supportive.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 12:15 PM
5

Once we’re bankrupt, yep.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 12:09 PM
4

Edit: trimmed out details of “long-term marriage” penalties All of this assumes you earn more. A lawyer is going to say two things to her: 1. Don’t worry about the expense, honey. We’re going to make him pay all legal fees 2. You’re entitled to half of everything. You’re also entitled to spousal support starting at hearing one, and it’s retroactive to date of separation. Once she retains a lawyer and they file on you, restraining orders are automatically filed to keep you from selling anything. …
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 07:46 PM
1

Yessir. Godspeed.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 03:22 AM
10

Start here: https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california For god’s sake, get this done fast. If she consults a lawyer, you’re in for a serious bleeding.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 02:43 AM
2

Spend a little time finding a lawyer now. Right now. You may not need one immediately, but these things can spiral. Once your wife learns that she can hire a lawyer to compel support, and force you to pay her legal fees, she could very well step out of the "easy" process. It's a very common occurrence. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/22 12:45 AM
5

I found a paralegal locally who was able to help me file a few things. I eventually cut back to an actual lawyer, but a good paralegal might be able to help you.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 10:58 PM
10

Ha! No. I won't be able to retire. I'll probably look to stop working to earn, though. What the hell's the point?
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 03:11 AM
1

Agreed. This is precisely what's happening, and evidently, I need to let it go. That's proving to be tougher than I expected.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 11:02 PM
1

In your case, is the judge paying attention to her lack of documentation? My STBX is doing the same, and obviously obfuscating her finances, but I cannot get the judge to pay attention to it. I'd love to hear how you get the judge's attention focused on this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 06:48 PM
1

Same. I wanted to believe it was just bad writing, but the lifestyle regret just stomped on a nerve for me. Held my commentary, for the most part, tho.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 12:10 AM
3

Depends on the state. If you’re in California, strap in. My cannot be soon enough XW did nearly the same. 56 percent of take home, 65 percent of house, 60 percent of savings, equity transactions, and more went to her. She’s also going to get me paying her legal fees and various other bills. Try to persuade her to mediate. If she already has a parasite, er, lawyer, expect her to decline mediation and use every underhanded trick in court to drag every last dollar she can out of you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 08:57 PM
2

Nope. He still has a decent retainer to work through. He’s already burned through 20k not doing much, but he still has runway.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 07:29 PM
1

Thank you. I’ll call in the morning. Much appreciated
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/22 03:08 AM
1

Monterey, but I've been told any attorney in the state can represent. Am I misled?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 08:36 PM
7

Absolutely not. You’re housing her and her kids. She’s capable of working, and you’re nobody’s slave. Get to a lawyer before she does to figure out a proper split, and hire a forensic accountant. The equity you had in the house you bought before marriage is yours.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/22 05:39 PM
2

Thinking the same thing -- Not interested in kicking the bucket over this. I'd sure love to cash out and haul ass, though.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 08:45 PM
13

Yep. Don't let her plan out the divorce. She may say she doesn't want alimony, but once she lawyers up and discovers what she can get, that tune could easily change.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 12:20 AM
2

I definitely feel like it most days.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:39 PM
1

Thanks for listening to my rant. It took awhile, but I’ve regained my stoicism. Sooner or later, this will all settle, and I’ll be to be done with the intentionally created emergencies.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 09:38 PM
15

As others have said here, brace yourself. The courts are not going to see you as anything but a source of income and support. My stbxw wasn’t a stay at home mom. We had no kids. She had a high-earning job until covid set in. On her filing, I was ordered to pay 52 percent of take-home, all taxes, all insurance, all bills, everything. Not saying “poor me.” Not at the moment, anyway. What I’m saying is that the courts are going to say “well, someone has to take care of this woman, and that’s going …
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 01:40 AM
6

Do not respond. Hire representation. Now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 05:40 AM
1

Solid advice here. I'll add on, take the time now to find a really good lawyer. Don't select the cheapest; select lawyers on their ability to keep you ahead of the game and to talk/work your way out of the unexpected. Lawyers are expensive, but it may be the best money you ever spent (bloodsuckers, though they may be).
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 04:53 AM
15

No. I have found that any claim the ex makes is honored, and any claim I make is ignored. Example: She and both converted stock options to buy the house. When the house sold, she was able to recoup every single share she converted, while mine were divided between the two of us. My shares were awarded to me before marriage (2 days before), hers were awarded to her after marriage. As bassackward as that is, it just didn't matter to the judge. My lawyer didn't lie as well as hers did. That's one of…
/r/MensRights12/01/22 11:20 PM
3

Same. Not even entertaining human relationships beyond the required ones (work, mainly). ​ On PC: DAC: Cambridge DAC Magic Plus Cans: Playing around with Beyerdynamic T5s Home theater room: Marantz powered, ATC speakers, 15" Paradigm studio sub Ikea chair. =0)
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/21 05:53 PM
19

Yep. Absolutely. I'm not leaving myself open to this level of shit ever again. On the upside, my audio room is audiophile grade at last, and all decisions are mine.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/21 03:27 AM
3

Can you buy her out and send her on her way?
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/21 12:02 AM
5

what she's done for me, from things and stuff, to the house we built, to everything. How fucked we are financially Keep in mind, this always took two. You've probably done a LOT for her as well. Do not lose sight of that. The guilt gets you nowhere. Lawyer up, get this done, move on to better things. Guilt is a massive waste. Go be you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 04:10 AM
10

Find a lawyer. File now. You'll be required to pay, but get clear of this golddigger. You're worth it. She's not.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/21 04:18 AM
0

Nope. Showed who she was. Believe her. That's who she is.
/r/MensRights07/12/21 04:07 AM
1

Don't assume this. You make a good living. It's not uncommon for a judge to see just that, and start grinding down your take home. Trust me on this one. Lawyer up.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 02:59 AM
2

This first hearing is the MOST IMPORTANT in the divorce. Don't under rate it Gospel.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/21 02:25 AM
8

I'd tend to agree with the other posters about the direction of things, but if you're still in this, and think she'll participate in fixing your marriage: Ask her what it will take to win her willingness to continue on By no means should you accept "I don't know." If she can't elucidate the changes she desires, you're climbing a hill with no end in sight. Keep in mind, even if you succeed in changing enough to make her want to return, you owe yourself the answers to the following questions: Was …
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/21 03:21 AM
2

I wish I had a nickel for every time I've had to ask my lawyer to explain something to me as if I weren't a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/21 02:56 PM
7

I wish I knew that the legal system is incredibly biased against earners. If you make money, lawyers, judges, and greedy exes will line up to take it all, and force you to work like a dog until death to keep the parasitical pipeline flowing. 50/50 is a farce. I wish I'd gone for blood in the opening rounds instead of being convinced to be accommodating and reasonable. If you're being accommodating and reasonable, you will be the only one, and that will be repeatedly used against you. I wish I ha…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 04:59 PM
12

Spousal support for able and educated spouses is true robbery. Child support has a reasonable justification, but chipping off 50 percent of an earner's wage just because they earn more is offensive on its face.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/21 04:41 PM
4

If you're in California, careful. 13 years will put you into a "long term marriage" dissolution, and as such, you will likely be forced into permanent spousal support if you're the greater earner. Plan well ahead if so.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/21 01:12 AM
5

Brother, don't let her take you from you. Reframe this. It's not "fuck life." It's "fuck the lows I've been introduced to." Find your highs, keep them nonchemical. The best epilogue is living well. ​ You deserve your highs.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/21 03:27 AM
8

From her perspective? You're just the host. ​ Seconding advice to lawyer up. Once she gets to a lawyer who realizes you've been providing, you'll be legally compelled to continue providing for life.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 09:30 PM
4

If enough of us show enough backbone and social savvy, reddit doesn't need to be secondary. Don't retreat. Stand firm. That's what we do.
/r/MensRights07/08/21 03:34 AM
5

We can run and start our own club, then get clothed in political vitriol. Or, we can also decouple from politics, and just stand as men for other men...right here...where they can't ignore us. I'm not leaving, and I'm not aligning with any political party. I don't care about your political affiliation. If you're a guy who has gotten fucked by "on rails" misandric policy, I'm here for you. But I'm not getting chased off. Fuck that.
/r/MensRights07/08/21 01:41 AM
8

Trending toward 800K for me. STBX was well employed, but decided to take less and less lucrative work as she plotted out her divorce plan. She'll get half the value of everything I ever bought/built/invented to support our rural footprint, half of my retirement, half of house, a giant pile of temporary spousal support, and permanent spousal support. The money loss sucks. The state-mandated lifetime of slavery bugs me so much more. Edit: California, BTW. California hates men, especially mildly su…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 07:54 PM
4

"thank you from the bottom of my heart, dudes who understand and asked pertinent questions and learned something new today." Got it. Men who are valued are the ones who won't disagree, and prove that they have "learned" from you. The crossroads of perpetual victimhood and narcissism make this poster seem like a whole lot of fun.
/r/MensRights27/07/21 03:09 PM
34

Amen. My lawyer had an epiphany when I sent him the documents, highlighted, with the things he should have noticed for months today. Don't wait for anyone to take your side. Take your own side, and drive.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 04:14 AM
0

How much longer is your term? Gotta say, I'm feeling a LOT of your pain. Lemme guess -- permanent spousal support grinding on you? It is for me. Definitely feels like slavery. Don't let her make you get too reckless -- there's more to be had. Just get across this metaphorical river of shit, and the other bank will be worth it. Shit washes off.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/21 11:54 PM
25

Take some self-guided courses. Sitting around cooing about girl power all night doesn’t get code written.
/r/MensRights18/06/21 01:16 AM
6

I’ll admit, I don’t know. I didn’t have one, but I’d take one leg to stand on over none. Still, I’m definitely witnessing a robotic, deaf judicial decision making process in action, so maybe worthless.
/r/MensRights31/05/21 03:25 AM
6

You’re a good dude for trying to be sure those kids are outfitted. Still, I worry you’re being seen as a bottomless well of resources, and you don’t deserve that. Get your son into college. Wash your hands of the rest. It’ll be hard to do, but you deserve to be allowed to pick up the pieces and move on. Value yourself in all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/21 02:03 AM
27

I think guys may be into bitchy women like women are into the bad boy. I was shocked how the bitchy woman my wife was when we were dating came back when she wanted everything I’ve ever earned in a divorce. I’m an idiot. As much as the bad boy is a bad choice, bitchy women are unmarriageable. At the very least, if you must marry, insist on a prenuptial agreement. The bitchy woman you thought you had calmed can come back at light speed.
/r/MensRights31/05/21 01:52 AM
1

As soon as I can get a series x, you can have my xbox.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 06:15 AM
1

Good answers, all. Thanks. Have another lawyer interview scheduled today, and am going to insist that the entire process be documented, with a planned strategy. This waiting around for the next awful email needs to stop. Thanks again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/21 04:07 PM
1

Not much different than the US. Her property is her property. Mine is community property.
/r/MensRights24/04/21 06:26 AM
9

This chestnut: "I have TOO MUCH integrity."
/r/MensRights16/04/21 03:00 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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