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Justapasserby557 Archive

View 3 posts and 856 comments by Justapasserby557 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I think it's an attitude/personality thing. Some people just can't handle the thought of their partner being with anyone else in any way. Sexuality is so fluid in our species, you have men/women who truly only want one partner and men/women who would never be happy with a single partner. My fiance and I have each agreed that we're each other's favorite person, that there's no one else we could imagine being with or having kids with, and that the idea of having sex with another person is actually…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 05:52 PM
7

Yeah, I can agree with you there. And painting women as the impulsive ones, the ones who can't be trusted to act on thought rather than emotion was likely just another form of control. But in general, if you look at history, men seemed afraid of women gaining power; just look at the propaganda that went out when women fought for the vote. Comics about how women wanted to make men into house husbands or cage up all the men. So I would still postulate the reason is that women already have power ov…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 02:30 PM
10

It has been a school of thought for some time, even Aristotle said of women: [women are] more mischievous, less simple, more impulsive ... more compassionate ... more easily moved to tears ... more jealous, more querulous, more apt to scold and to strike ... more prone to despondency and less hopeful ... more void of shame or self-respect, more false of speech, more deceptive, of more retentive memory [and] ... also more wakeful; more shrinking [and] more difficult to rouse to action I think men…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 01:49 PM
1

I don't know about more attracted, but when he was working out for a brief time I didn't discourage him by any means. I guess it's more I'd support him if he wanted to make a change to boost his self confidence, but my love for him doesn't really change in any way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 12:37 PM
2

Sure, I think body building, etc. is good advive no matter what. Just don't have to tell people that literally no one ever likes men who aren't the epitome of attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 02:28 AM
1

No, not that person, who is a woman btw, u/ setconsumes. I just posted the whole comment thread. Where he argued with the woman who said that quote you quoted. Lol you can tell who I'm talking about by who I was arguing with in the thread, please pay attention. As for the other dude, read some of his comments, he essentially said he wanted his wife to be financially dependent on him. Also where tf did I mention flairs? I couldn't give less of a shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 02:24 AM
1

My fiance is a skinny guy, no muscles, and nerdy. His high school friends used to say he was gay since he dressed well/cared about his appearance. But he's attractive af to me, because he has great facial structure, he takes care of himself, knows how to dress well, is a super sweet guy who also knows how to set boundaries, etc. Also, our personalities mesh pretty well, and we love spending time together while still maintaining outside friendships.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 01:53 AM
1

There's this guy who made a whole thread on how he doesn't want his wife to work and argued that if she did work it should be something creative and supplementary to his income, not a full time job: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/64w87e/young_guys_want_a_stayathome_wife/ Then there's this guy, who just loooves to decry financial independence because "women aren't men" and should just rely on their man or family: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/63g1xq/commen…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 01:28 AM
1

but they shouldn't claim victimhood and goes back and rely on male to be the beta providers... because that'll be a huge step backwards for modern feminism. No one was arguing that, we were simply stating that in the past women were victims of circumstance. Women could not own land and were essentially property for much of human history. See we are in full agreement here. Next step is getting women to go dutch in the bill, and less sexist laws in the divorce court. Agreed. But there are men (eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/17 09:05 PM
1

Again let's be real here, in pre-industrial Japan rarely can women become financially independent, also women being able to choose her mate is a relatively recent development in human history. Another point. If your primary way to earn money is to be a geshi and your craft is to entertain men of high status, are you really "financially independent?" Again... I think you're misreading her and my comment. We're agreeing, a geisha is not financially independent. A geisha is a prime example of a fin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/17 11:53 PM
6

I think you're reading her comment wrong. She was saying a geisha is a prime example of a financially dependent woman who has to decieve and essentially sell her affection to survive. While a financially independent woman does not, and can choose a man she's attracted to. I make just north of $80K a year, which is plenty in my city. I don't need a provider, so I chose my fiance just as he chose me. We're intensely attracted to each other and loyal because we have no reason not to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/17 03:33 PM
3

I think not relying on someone's money also opens you up to choosing partners based on companionship and compatibility, too. My fiance and I make about the same salary, and up until a few months ago I even made more than him. It means that money/providing in exchange for sex/affection isn't our dynamic, so we're each free to give to each other instead. We still stay together because we're best friends and genuinely enjoy each other's company, not because he needs sex and I need money. I think in…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/17 03:22 PM
1

Nope. It's not about "utility", I hate how you keep using that word like it's some kind of "gotcha" to women, like we're all just using men for what? Their honesty?? Truly loving someone creates this: A mutual commitment to making an equal effort Reciprocation Kindness Balance Compromise Respect Communication Honesty / sincerity Fair division of responsibility No external people , address problems with partner first Sexual compatibility Compatible life plans Compatible view on change in the cour…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/17 10:48 PM
1

Disagree. Those are a list of things that any healthy, happy relationship needs to thrive. Both partners should be adhering to those tenants as closely as possible to maintain trust, which maintains love.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/17 05:58 PM
1

Thanks, we've been together five years, hoping to get married next year.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/17 12:25 PM
3

I think both men and women want to be useful to each other. Selfishly, because they hope it will be reciprocated, and unselfishly, because they want to make their partner feel good. My fiance loves to cook, for example. Every time he makes us food, he asks my opinion, because he wants to make it better. I'm not very picky, but the few things I don't like, he'll leave out of dishes. I do laundry for him, because I know he doesn't like it. Little things like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/17 12:33 PM
3

I think this subreddit and ones like it are a little toxic at times. As someone else said already, reading it too much can fuck with your head. You start questioning the other gender's motivations and actions constantly or feeling more embittered and pessimistic if you already had problems dating, worsening your problems overall. I think people who are truly happy in their relationships or content with their life won't be affected by all that, though. Overall, I'd say read on if you're fine with…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/17 05:12 AM
5

Yeah oxytocin releases when you hug someone for 7 seconds or more. That guy is just bitter against women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/17 07:07 PM
1

Yep. I was born and raised in Texas, but there are zero jobs in my hometown for an engineer. Cheap as hell there, but if I lived there it would take me over 2 hours to commute to my current job in Austin lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/17 04:48 PM
1

$260,000 is only less than two years of income for us if you don't include student loans (little less than 1/2 our monthly income since we're aiming to pay them off in 7 yrs instead of 10) and our rent/food expenses. Oh and taxes lol. But yeah, you're right about the boomers fucking us.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/17 04:44 PM
2

Ditto, just said that in my above comment lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/17 12:26 AM
2

Pfft. I live in a big city in Texas, work for an above average salary for my generation. I'm only able to afford a house because I'm buying it with my fiance and together our income is $160K/yr. And even then, because of student loans we're not even thinking about kids until 5 years from now, minimum. So sometime in our 30s lol. We also live pretty modestly. Try to do as many free activities with friends as possible, only buy new clothes when our old ones quit on us, drive used cars, maintain a …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/17 12:25 AM
1

Why should my subconscious say any differently? I already made more money than him when we first started our careers, which many people said I would "resent" him for, and there have been many times in our relationship where he was too sick to have sex with me, either because of his migraines or other serious illnesses. Each time, I took care of him, I fed him, and I worried for him; didn't matter that I wasn't getting off, I didn't even feel in the mood while he was in pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/17 01:12 PM
1

I've never manipulated my fiance with sex in our five years of being together, and I have no intention to. I think this happens less often than you think. And the reason I say this so confidently is because when he was looking to quit his first job because he hated it, I was willing and ready to cover our bills for awhile. It didn't come to that, but as his partnet in life I want to support him as he would support me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/17 01:05 PM
6

Meh, I'm a woman, and I would disagree. If my fiance lost his job or wasn't able to have sex with me for a time, I'd still love him and support him.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/17 02:06 AM
1

That's one of the reasons we're marrying each other, we're both pretty frugal, don't need fancy cars or name branded purses and clothes 😜
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/17 01:38 AM
1

IME, men and women who had abusive parents have trouble with their "creep" detectors. They either end up with someone abusive or become abusive themselves and continue the cycle. Mentally healthy men/women usually just look for cues that they've recognized before. Like one of the reasons I knew my fiance would be the one for me was how he reacted when I made small mistakes like forgetting my keys in his dorm, etc. He never got mad or took out any frustration on me, he would just laugh and help m…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/17 03:28 PM
1

Done, sorry bout that
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/17 12:14 AM
1

Can't really change your view because I agree; my fiance and I are best friends, neither of us have any hangups about the other gender, and have many friends and acquaintances who have none either. I've noticed the ones who do have usually been hurt pretty badly, like my lady friend whose fiance of 5 years just up and left her, leaving her to cover expenses that she suddenly couldn't on her own. Or the guy I know whose only experience with women has been him pushing them away and then blaming th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/17 12:14 AM
3

Fiance and I are both working 60 hr weeks so we won't have to work as hard later in life, or do something we love later. Working hard for more money can just enable you to live the life you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/17 08:33 PM
1

Not solely, but it's why I kept coming around lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/17 08:29 PM
1

It depends on your priorities I think. I know for me, my fiance being kind and considerate and treating me like an equal is a big part of why we've been together so long and are getting married. But casual sex doesn't require any of that, you could be a piece of shit human and still get plenty of sex if you're attractive and high status.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/17 08:12 PM
1

Eh, I disagree. My fiance and I talk a lot about how we are attracted to people differently. Like I understand that when he looks at other girls' boobs walking down the street, it's because it's eye catching, not because he doesn't love me. And he understands that I'm basically not attracted to people unless I have an emotional connection. Seeing someone hot = I recognize they're attractive. So we spend a lot of time refreshing our emotional connection; we date each other, laugh a lot, and try t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/17 03:27 PM
–

Can't really change your view because I agree; my fiance and I are best friends, neither of us have any hangups about the other gender, and have many friends and acquaintances who have none either. I've noticed the ones who do have usually been hurt pretty badly, like my lady friend whose fiance of 5 years just up and left her, leaving her to cover expenses that she suddenly couldn't on her own. Or the guy I know whose only experience with women has been him pushing them away and then blaming th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/17 03:14 PM
1

Those are pretty interesting vids, thanks for the links! But yeah have to agree with others that they're too old for me but probably do well with women their age.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/17 03:09 PM
1

One unwritten rule in my relationship with my fiance has been "trust and inspire trust." Meaning, we trust each other to try to keep us in mind when making decisions or just going through life, and we try to maintain that trust by doing things like mentioning plans to each other we make with friends ahead of time, voluntarily talking about time spent apart, letting each other know when someone of the opposite sex is pursuing us, or even including the other on decisions that are important. Basica…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/17 03:06 PM
3

Boring millenial here, checking in. I think millenials are just having less sex because we're more aware of consequences now. I mean, sex ed has vastly improved, and most of us were beaten over the head with pics of STDs and tales of teenage pregnancy in our health classes. If you've seen Mean Girls, think of the health class in that movie lol. Additionally, sex/parties used to be one of the only forms of entertainment back in the day. I'd say our problem is we've got so many things to do and th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/17 03:14 PM
1

My parents are still together after 25 years of marriage, but I'll add it's painfully obvious they barely tolerate each other but can't divorce (mom is SAHM). I consider myself no pill but maybe leaning BP
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 10:53 PM
1

My best female and male friends are the ones I mesh with, including my fiance. People have said of us that we're 95% the same person besides our obvious gender difference lol. So I disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 10:00 PM
1

Pretty much
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 08:42 PM
5

Oh, absolutely. Both sides are extremely guilty of that. I think it's part of human nature, though, it becomes an us vs. them situation rather than an honest exchange of ideals.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 07:04 PM
1

Are you sure you're not just reacting to the words used to describe the results? I thought I stated the findings pretty objectively and the meaning ascribed to it comes solely from the people viewing it. That is, liberal leaning people tend to rank higher on conscientiousness or empathy in personality tests while conservative leaning people tend to rank higher on fear of change (I forget the term used for this exactly) and anxiety. How you interpret that statement is up to you. Not sure where yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 06:59 PM
1

I've seen/participated in unbiased surveys with similar results. They ask you to rate a bunch of statements with how true they are for you (like "I feel scared in crowds" or "I think homeless people are lazy") then ask you to give your political leanings. Higher empathy/conscientiousness correlates with more liberal political leanings, while higher anxiety or aversion to new things correlates with conservative political leanings. Obviously, there are pros and cons to both. As an extreme liberal,…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 03:46 PM
16

Something I've noticed in this subreddit is a lot of people have very poor reading comprehension and jump at a few trigger words. Like "oppression" for instance. I think we could all understand each other fine if we just took a minute to digest comments before irritatedly typing away a reply.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 02:29 PM
5

Nah. A good relationship is one where you serve each other. If I get up early on the weekend, I make my fiance breakfast and coffee. If he gets up early, he does the same for me. Love is just made up of a million small gifts to one another, whether it be your time, doing chores so they don't have to, or giving hugs and kisses.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 02:13 PM
2

Glad to hear it! Don't see enough of this kind of experience in relationships on PPD.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 01:09 AM
4

Hmm my fiance must be a world class gigolo then because I'm helping him pay down his student loans and God knows that shit is expensive 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 01:02 AM
3

If you have a girlfriend who you're compatible with, then they're far and above a fuckbuddy. Also, fwiw, my fiance and I still have sex constantly after 5 years lol it just depends on the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/17 01:00 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/17 02:49 PM
5

After reading the article, I don't think being a career woman is her problem, her problem is she didn't respect her partners. She mistakenly thought her time and her needs were more important simply because she was compensated more for her time in her career. It's the same as if a husband ignored his SAH wife's needs to go drinking with his buddies, like if he promised to watch the kids at 6 so she could take a break and then he just fucked around with his buddies instead. My fiance and I have a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/17 12:14 AM
3

Lol. My fiance is 2 inches taller than I am, his height was the last thing on my mind when I first asked him out. In fact, I always thought we were the same height (because I can't tell height really) until I saw his driver's license haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 11:25 PM
4

Mm I guess I've never had a proper "girls night" then. My girlfriends and I usually aren't complaining about men when we hang out.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 07:17 PM
2

You would think not with how much shit we get from older generations for not prioritizing rings and parties lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 07:05 PM
7

Not really. I think you missed my point where the TRP subreddit in particular is a cesspool of anger directed at ALL women. Not just "my wife/girlfriend/hookup is a terrible person" but "all women are terrible but I still want to bone them how do".
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 07:04 PM
1

Pfft. People are insecure and generally don't want to be judged by their flaws. Insecure men and women can behave differently depending on their personalities. Some might put others down, some might become obsessed with their looks, and some might try to downplay their mistakes or emphasize their triumphs. Pretty standard human behavior and ego protection.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 06:59 PM
7

Speak for yourself. The only women I've heard bitch about their husbands/boyfriends are pretty unhappy in their relationship but unwilling to try to change anything. And the reason people take offense to these dudes is because they frame it as "all women" do this not "my shitty hookup or girlfriend" does that. I've never said a word against my fiance because I have no desire to. We squabble sometimes like all couples, but I don't brood over it days later so why would I need to vent about it? As …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 06:50 PM
2

Yeah one of the main reasons my fiance and I still aren't married is because we're in debt lol. So we're focusing on financials first, marriage second. Otherwise, we basically act like a married couple already so we don't really see the point in the ceremony and reception besides making our families happy. We have many coupled friends, some even with kids, who feel the same way and haven't married at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 06:45 PM
2

I can't wait for male birth control, and neither can my fiance. Especially the non hormonal one. The less we have to worry about accidental pregnancy AND hormonal effects on my body the better.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 04:04 PM
4

Not u/GinSmokeLies, but hormonal birth control is overall a gamble for most women. When I got the implant, I read like 10 different forums telling me 10 different experiences on it. Some people gain like 20 lbs, some people get bitchy, some people lose their periods entirely, some people bleed for weeks on end and then have no periods for months after. Still better than gambling on a pregnancy for my fiance and I xD
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 04:03 PM
1

Dude, even I, as an engineer with nerdy engineering friends (and as a woman who is marrying an electrical engineer) don't see this problem often in my social circle. It's wildly overstated by, as you said, some 5% of dudes tops.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 03:56 PM
1

Respectfully disagree. I've only seen narcissistic women act that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 03:54 PM
2

I've been told I'm way out of my fiance's league, but we're very happy. As someone posted below, it matters more to me that he's loving and supportive than what he looks like, and he still gets someone who he's very attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/17 01:38 AM
0

My fiance and I are both engineers, and I wouldn't consider either of us below average in looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 10:40 PM
1

I graduated a couple of years ago, bout to marry my college boyfriend now fiance. Coming from an engineering degree into an engineering field.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 07:00 PM
1

But are all dudes who can't sleep with strangers unhappy though? Most guys and gals I know would rather have an FWB or LTR than a casual hookup. As for signs of depression, I was giving exaggerated examples on purpose. Basically if you're depressed you can hardly get out of bed let alone find someone to date. Most people I know are pretty content, even without shacking up with someone. They find meaning elsewhere if they can't find a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 06:48 PM
3

I did, it says dating or hooking up. I gave my experience on dating. Most people I know aren't undateable and are perfectly happy not hooking up every weekend with someone new. I think it's disingenuous to claim that all men who can't sleep with women casually are unhappy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 06:45 PM
8

What? I'm not even sure how to quantify sex 😂 In the moment it feels like $1,000,000 but that's over in seconds... lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 06:13 PM
2

Mm, depends on if I like the dude or not; if I don't like him, high probability I don't notice. If my fiance had paid any sort of attention to another girl when we first started seeing each other, I'd feel a twinge of jealousy no matter how attractive she was. I can't think of any instance that actually happened where I liked a dude and he hit on someone else besides me, though. The only times I have noticed dudes hitting on other girls I've been curious to see what happens lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 06:11 PM
3

I don't know about picking up strangers, but most of the happiest couples I know originated from a guy and a gal having mutual friends and meeting through them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 06:03 PM
2

Couple-wise, it's easy. You hang out with a couple enough and you can tell when they hate each other's guts vs when they're generally genuinely happy. Also, misery loves company; I find that the people I know who are unhappy have shared it in some form or another. People think they hide it well, but when you make bitter comments about your SO when they're not around, it's pretty clear what's happening. You can hear affection in someone's voice when they talk about their SO, and when it's not the…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 05:59 PM
10

I do think the scope of the problem is wildly exaggerated. Out of my 100s of acquaintances, friends, and coworkers, I know one person who fits the "incel" stereotype, and the reason he has trouble with women is because he almost views them as aliens and he doesn't take care of his health or hygiene very well. Not to mention he's kind of a NEET, so he rarely meets women. Most of the people I know, including myself, are in happy, egalitarian relationships where both husband and wife or boyfriend a…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 02:48 PM
3

Having a good sense of humor is very attractive to me, partially because life is no fun with someone who can't take or make a good joke and partially because it's a sign of intelligence and wit. My fiance initially drew me in with his sense of humor and playfulness, and those aspects of his personality still hold my attraction to him 5 years later. We're constantly joking and playing around at home, which helps us deal with our stressful engineering jobs and get through the week.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 05:09 AM
2

Loyal people exist, I've seen many men and women who wouldn't dream of giving into temptations to stray and have even resisted advances or avoided situations that might present a temptation out of love and respect for their partner. My fiance and I for instance, hate cheaters. We've both said that is our number one dealbreaker. He's told me if his ex texts him and what she says (not common, but still) unprompted because he thinks I deserve to know. I've told him when male coworkers make advances…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/17 04:49 AM
2

25, none, INTP. Husband material is my best friend + aligned long term goals. He makes me laugh, we have good times together amd both want to retire early and have kids some day. That's my fiance right now :)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/17 10:12 PM
3

Best answer!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/17 10:10 PM
2

One of the reasons I post here as frequently as I do is because my fiance and I have an egalitarian relationship (BP perhaps?) and both of us are very happy together. We both work, we still pursue each other, and we contribute as equally as we can to our household. He's said it's nice to know that he doesn't have the pressure of being the sole provider and that I always have his back, and he's still very affectionate even after 5 years, so I know he's happy. As for me, I still feel just as in lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/17 09:33 PM
2

Just saying that the right girl won't care
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/17 09:33 PM
1

That's not really how it works. I know for me, the main thing is that if my close friends like a dude I like, he's probably a good fit for me since I get along with my friends. If they don't like him, then chances are they can see something I can't due to rose colored glasses (or he's only nice around me or something), and they care about me enough to try to stop our relationship. Only time I haven't trusted my friends' advice is if they were more acquaintances and saying shallow shit like "he's…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/17 07:45 PM
1

Some of my "friends" made fun of me dating my boyfriend because we are about the same height and he was a little bit of an ugly duckling. Now he's my fiance, we're successful engineers, and those girls aren't my friends lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/17 07:34 PM
1

Mmm I disagree. There are many women I like to hang out with and a few women whose company I tolerate, same with men. The men and women I do dislike are usually narcissistic or needlessly confrontational.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/17 10:34 PM
1

Lol, right? I'm glad I don't get as hangry as I see some people do haha
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/17 10:13 PM
2

Having the emotional intelligence of a child would mean being unable to empathize with what others feel and handle your own emotions. Children say and do fucked up stuff because they're still learning and developing and eventually most kids grow up and learn it's not okay to throw tantrums in the middle of the store or hit people when they've upset you. Hate to tell you this, but you are describing an adult experiencing a moment of emotional immaturity, not some end all be all trait of women. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/17 10:11 PM
2

Great comment, sums up my thoughts exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/17 08:55 PM
3

People get hangry and irrational when they're hangry lol I wouldn't say women are children and treat them as such. Regardless, I don't have those kinds of problems with my fiance; we act like kids sometimes to play around with each other, but neither of us is childish or totally irrational. So I largely disagree with the tone RP takes towards women. All that said, the post you're referring to is pretty light on the mysogyny if all it said was women are children. I think most people object to the…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/17 06:57 PM
4

Lol pedalstool. So what you're saying is that you want to hate women so that when your gf is being immature you can think about hating her and that helps you cope? That's a really weird perspective imo. If I internalize misandry spouted by friends or online anons, that would make me a shitty partner to my fiance. The women I've met who go on about how terrible men are or complain about their husband with a tone of "men, amirite?" have all been horrible wives; controlling, harping on every thing …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/17 04:23 PM
1

It depends. Male friends I make through my fiance are usually pretty cool, we can hang out and play games with no weirdness. But ime all the male friends I've made at work get really.... weird. Maybe it's because my fiance isn't with me at work, but they're all very flirty with me so it makes me uncomfortable. Even the married ones! Maybe it's normal male/female interactions for them but I really don't like it so I end up trying to limit contact with those dudes. Although I've been told by many …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/17 02:54 PM
1

I think the age for marriage doesn't matter so much, it matters more what age you lock down a serious relationship. Whoever here said that the best marriage material men and women partner off young was right, ime. I'm in my mid twenties and most people I know who are above average in attractiveness and have their lives together are in serious relationships, engaged, or married. So optimally guys and gals should try to find a quality marriage partner before they're 30, and I'd say marry whenever …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/17 02:46 PM
2

Well said! My fiance is much more tidy than I am, and he loves to cook, so he ends up doing probably 90% of the housework haha... I generally do the laundry though, even though I hate it, because I know it's his least favorite chore. He knows I'll help him when asked so it works out, I just don't have an eye for cleanliness like he does!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/17 02:34 PM
1

This lines up with my college experience some 2-4 years ago. Men who could get a girlfriend would much rather have that than a hookup.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/17 02:07 AM
5

Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. If it helps, my fiance and I don't really worry about cheating, one of us breaking up with the other, or stuff like that anymore. Over time, we became each other's best friends and really secure in our love for each other. When a friend asked us what would happen if we broke up, we answered we couldn't even imagine living without each other; we only really worry about if the other person got hurt or dies, now. I think you just need to find someone who value…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/17 11:32 PM
6

I mean, valuing loyalty and sticking to one partner for the rest of your life is fine, I think the problem is thinking you're going to meet that person staight off the bat. My fiance and I are loyal to each other, despise cheaters, and we're not each other's first relationship. Dating around gives you a better idea of who you connect with and what you value in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/17 10:59 PM
5

Women are just like men. Some are shitty, horrible human beings, some are that way some of the time, some are ok, and the very small remainder are the nicest people you will ever meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/17 02:20 PM
1

Not u/wub1234, but I would say to his points that disinvesting yourself in women only works if the goal is short term encounters. An LTR will never survive without equal investment.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/17 10:08 PM
4

lol at all the guys on here who have no reading comprehension then get mad when you call them on it
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/17 12:22 AM
1

Your study is a good example in using data to extrapolate something unrelated. I would postulate that women chose classically attractive men for their loved ones because they are looking at a picture. I guarantee men would make the same decision about potential wives for their sons, because at the end of the day you and I are just mammals trying to get our best genes to propagate. A good example I can think of is my fiance and I. When we were first dating, my family legit told me "you can do bet…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 07:57 PM
1

Your study is a good example in using data to extrapolate something unrelated. I would postulate that women chose classically attractive men for their loved ones because they are looking at a picture. I guarantee men would make the same decision about potential wives for their sons, because at the end of the day you and I are just mammals trying to get our best genes to propagate. A good example I can think of is my fiance and I. When we were first dating, my family legit told me "you can do bet…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 07:55 PM
2

Fiance and I are getting married next year. We're thinking of combining our last names somehow, kind of start a new legacy with 'em. That or we'll both just keep ours, it seems silly to make just one person change their last name when we both contribute to our household equally...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 04:00 AM
2

I wouldn't really put much stock into BMI for athletes. Most men and women who are body builders are obese or overweight according to their BMI. I was pretty lean back in the day... Now I'm just walking often and eating salads to not get fat from my sedentary desk job lol how sad is that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 03:45 AM
2

I'm attracted to men who are my height or taller, weight is pretty variable so I'd say as long as they're not crazy, unhealthily overweight or underweight and actually like physical activity it's fine. Also, ITT: Men can't tell how much women weigh. Lol when I was at my peak physical condition, swimming 10+ hrs a week and competing in meets, I was 140 lbs at 5'6". I was a stick!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 02:45 PM
1

Jeezus 5'6" 120 lbs would not look hour glass, they would look skeletal. I'm 5'6" and at my most in shape (swim team every day for 2 hrs) I was 140 lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 02:39 PM
1

I've always heard that if every one of someone's exes were assholes, they're the common denominator. Or another variant: if you met an asshole today, they were an asshole. If everyone you meet is an asshole, you're the asshole. Also like to add that most humans will delude themselves about their partner when they're in love-- the phrase rose-colored glasses exists for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 11:28 PM
1

Yeah I've noticed the guys I crush on always have that in common. I guess the proper term would be heart shaped faces? Idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 10:59 PM
2

I agree with you, my fiance and I certainly don't feel like we have a "fundamental misunderstanding" due to our sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 11:32 PM
1

I like smart, funny, and skinny men with narrow faces. Although, like others have said, my main point of attraction is that we spend a lot of time together and are friends. My first crush was a half Asian half white guy who was on the swim team and in all my honors classes; we were in the same friend group and generally liked each other. I think he suspected I liked him a little more than friends, but I was too shy to make a move. Then he dated my best friend so that was kind of a no go because …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 11:24 PM
1

Outstanding comment. I've said here before to clamors about AWALT type behaviors that those aren't what all women are like, it is what narcissistic women are like. Although I disagree that narcissism is on the rise, more that narcissists have more outlets than ever what with social media and internet forums. Additionally, it's well documented that children of narcissists and even people who have had at least one narcissistic partner are more predisposed to ending up in a relationship with one. Y…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 10:58 PM
1

I disagree. If you truly love someone, over time your relationship becomes built on a deep friendship. My fiance and I have been together for 5 years, any drama in our relationship ended once we got to know and really love each other, just over a year in.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 09:56 PM
1

Not really. Thin yes, tall no. He's about average height, 5'7"-5'8". The average guy isn't overweight and about that height in my area.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 07:58 PM
2

Eh, I guess I just don't understand how it's different. My fiance and I basically do what we do with our friends (talk, play video games, go hiking, watch movies, etc.) and the part that makes it a relationship is we are also intimately involved in each other's lives and bodies. I see it as a more intimate friendship because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 05:42 PM
2

Nah, I hate drama. My fiance and I don't look forward to mistreating each other or being mistreated. As for your cheating example below, we've both decided cheating is a huge dealbreaker for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 05:40 PM
1

Eh, my fiance broke up with his previous girlfriend precisely because he was unhappy. Now he's with me and happy enough to look forward to spending the rest of our lives together. And he's not some 10/10 super adonis, so I have a hard time believing that most men have to settle.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 05:38 PM
2

I would argue that a romantic partnership should be with your best friend, to ensure you have a relationship built on more than just mutual attraction and ability to tolerate each other. But otherwise yes, I've seen many people get with people they have a good time with and not ask enough about or pay attention to important lifestyle stuff like "do they want kids" and "do we have similar views on money or other important values". My married friend is having a lot of trouble with her husband righ…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 03:34 PM
1

Absolutely. One of the reasons my fiance and I are getting married is because we actually enjoy spending time with each other more than with other people. Our personalities are very similar, we're friends first and enjoy many of the same things, and we can easily spend time doing other things around each other when we need to since we're both a little introverted. He told me he knew it was time to break up with his previous girlfriend when he dreaded spending time with her, and found himself wis…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 03:02 PM
1

Not really. I've never been scared of it, but I also don't see much point in it nowadays besides the social and tax benefits. My fiance and I are getting married next year sometime, but we really only want to do it so people recognize our union. The tax breaks are nice, but we make good money even without it. It's just hard to listen to things like "you'll understand when you get married" from people that have been together for a year while we've been living together and in a relationship for se…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 02:50 PM
1

That doesn't follow. If most women are in happy relationships, aren't most men, too?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/17 10:41 PM
2

This was how it was before I was sure I'd like to marry him, but I guess I've always felt that if you see a future with him you should start to treat him like your husband. Worked out for us so far.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/17 03:38 AM
1

1) Mid 20s 2) Female 3) Living with fiance 4) We have a joint account for joint expenses (rent, food, joint fun things) that we dump a set, agreed upon amount into every month. We plan to not spend more than is in that joint account on dinner, bars, etc. Rest of our money is in our personal and savings accounts. Personally, after paying ~half my paycheck into student loans, I budget out ~$200 a month to spend on whatever I want that my fiance doesn't have a share in (like clothes for me or a new…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/17 01:36 AM
1

I did and do this even before my fiance and I were engaged. I think it's just part of being in a very long term relationship-- your decisions and plans ultimately affect each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/17 08:41 PM
3

Yes, exactly this. I see too many couples marry thinking something will change about their broken relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/17 08:40 PM
1

I think immature people of both genders just can't handle someone else's problems. I've had friends who'd shut down if I told them about pain in my life and I'm a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/17 03:52 PM
1

Yeah, I specified they were obsessing over it. Although honestly I think many people who regularly use instagram do obsess over it to some extent. The hunger for likes and shares is strong.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 09:23 PM
1

Women are human just like men, humans can be friends. I fail to see your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 06:57 PM
5

IME, deep friendship. Wanting to spend more time with your significant other than without them. Being able to resolve conflicts before they build resentment. Not sweating the small stuff and a good sense of humor. Maintaining your individual social lives and hobbies, having some independence, but enjoying spending much of your time together. My fiance and I truly feel like we're each other's best friends and there is no one we'd rather spend time with.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 12:59 PM
2

Lol, for once I agree with you. I hit on my fiance when we first met because I was atttacted to him. I was aggressive because he was ignoring my signals. I don't understand how liking someone can equal trying to make someone your bitch lol guess OP doesn't like a girl riding cowgirl either.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 12:44 PM
1

From what I've experienced, many are. When I ask my girlfriends why they're obsessing over something on social media or trying to get the perfect christmas card, the answer is to the effect of "everyone does it". Like they have to keep up with the joneses in terms of social grandstanding. Some personalities don't care if "everyone" does something, but I think a lot of men and women feel this kind lf social pressure.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 12:38 PM
1

They are though lol not every male/female relationship is a guy trying to get into a woman's pants. Most of these guys I've known for several years, set up with friends, and/or have girlfriends or wives of their own. We hang out because we like the same stuff, like any friends, and it's never a one-on-one, dripping with sexual tension type affair that you're thinking about. Frequently it's my fiance, me, them and their significant others, all hanging out and enjoying each other's company or play…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 12:30 PM
2

They do have obscenely high standards. They want a woman who is not overweight, intelligent, kind and average in looks. For inexperienced betas/incels, this is obscenely high. They aren't though... unless they are totally discounting any woman who's even 5 to 40 lbs overweight, regardless of whether they get along fine. There are plenty of nerdy girls with little dating experience who match your description, they just won't be crazy attractive or extroverted, so you'll have to find social groups…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 12:20 PM
2

Do they have female friends? Most guys who have female friends don't have obscenely high standards. They know they're just people too, gotta find one who meshes well with you. Also, knowing what you want should entail getting to know what personality traits mesh well with yours and what quirks you can live with. I mean, sure you might think your friends would be lucky to be with any woman, but do you want them to be miserable, too?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 12:30 AM
3

My male friends and I like to play overwatch, eat lunch together, and talk about whatever pops into our heads or projects we've been working on. I don't take their resources or use them as an emotional tampon lol we're just close friends, like any dudes with each other. It's like a brother/sister relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 12:25 AM
1

You know, I've always thought it's a little bit of a cultural thing, too. Like in more traditional cultures that extreme polarization is the relationship norm, overwhelmingly so. But most people I know who are my age are pretty laissez-faire when it comes to gender roles. Although that could just be the people I hang out with, who knows haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/17 12:21 AM
1

My fiance and I met through mutual friends in college. I wouldn't say it was a large social circle or actively going out that helped, more that we both were very involved in interest groups like clubs, dorm meetups, etc. Basically places where you meet a lot of new people with similar interests and can get close to a few of them pretty quickly. His female friend ended up setting us up.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/17 11:11 PM
3

It's more like make good friends, male and female, so you can understand what you like in women and work on your social skills. Bonus points if you and your friends do a lot of outdoorsy stuff, it's a good way to feel good and confident about yourself. If you find chemistry with a woman you're friends with, ask her out. Or, if you're close to your female friends but not attracted, they can set you up with someone they think you'd be good with. That's how it happened to my fiance and I. His femal…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/17 11:08 PM
2

Aristotle also saw women as nothing more than a "mutilated male" and Plato is lauded for actually being very progressive for the time in viewing men and women as mostly equal: https://muse.jhu.edu/article/226997/pdf Historically, yeah, men viewed women as the less intelligent, weaker sex; sometimes hindering men but mostly suited to be subjects to male rulers. There are countless fictions that paint women as either the temptress or the easily tempted, a la parallels to Adam and Eve. Male friends…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/17 10:57 PM
3

I wouldn't say they don't exist, maybe more that it's hard to find because there are a lot of social pressures to conform to the strict definition of a woman and the most common personality types out there are the ones that want to conform. That, or the women who aren't as traditionally feminine might believe that means they should dress and act less cute so they can be taken seriously. That has happened to some of my friends, and I know I'm definitely taken more seriously the less feminine I lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/17 10:28 PM
4

You know, my fiance once confessed to me that with his previous girlfriend, he felt the same way. He felt guilty because he kept her around for 2 years thinking that's just how it is, then finally broke it off when she started getting a little too crazy for him. He told me he knew he wanted to marry me when it was totally different with me. Because we would stay up all night just talking, he would look forward to instead of dreading spending time with me, and sex was just a cherry on top as oppo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/17 10:11 PM
2

The relationships you described are LTRs that shouldn't work out. IME, a relationship should add to your life, not subtract from it, much like a good friendship. My fiance and I are friends first, and we don't have any of the issues described above. No one loves more than the other or tries to maximize their happiness at the expense of the other. Instead, he and I lead our lives and then have the added benefit of always having someone to come home to. We've said of each other that when we're apa…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/17 03:17 PM
3

My fiance and I are pretty vanilla by these standards xD He thinks anal is gross, so we've never tried it. Fine by me, I've never had a desire to try it. Facials aren't really all they're cracked up to be, we tried it a couple of times, not really fun. Blowjobs are pretty standard for us, and when we have sex his libido is usually the limiting factor lol I could go 3-4 times a week, but he's usually good with 1-2.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/17 01:06 PM
1

Only smarter than average women can afford to shift attention from beauty and social game to other stuff. It will never be different I don't think, not without a radically different society where men aren't really competed for. Eh, I don't think it takes up that much time, really. I'm just nice to people generally unless they're mean, so we're friends, and still wear makeup and dress prettily. I don't think sharing interests with men you date or being smarter than the average bear at all preclud…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/17 12:05 AM
1

Meh, I don't really identify with any of these traits but am still well liked and have many friends of both genders. People have told me they appreciate my genuine and frank personality, and the fact I take accountability for my actions. Perhaps those things were ok for women in the past, but nowadays they're just annoying. Being tactful and mindful of feelings is a gender neutral trait I find, nowadays especially. I don't think you need all of those things to be a high status woman, or that the…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 11:13 PM
2

They're really not. From what I've seen, most divorces stem from plain incompatibility. My fiance's parents have a very traditional marriage but are unhappy and will likely divorce due to incompatibility or stick it out and be miserable, same as my parents. Divorce rate has gone down, also, but the 50% divorce rate is highly skewed by men and women who marry multiple times. Also like to add that more traditional types of relationships end in marriage than not.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 10:03 PM
1

As in, what rp means by this. But, it's for a woman's own benefit to not love as deeply as men do. They already get so attached so easily, to add a deeper rooting component reduces her flexibility. It's my opinion that women love just as deeply as men do, but may take more time to reach that point. At least, that's how it worked for my fiance and I. We love each other very deeply and could not imagine our lives without each other, but it took some time for us both to get to that point. Although …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 09:59 PM
1

Ok, so I disagree with this then. My fiance and I started our life cooperatively. I think the dynamic you speak of was more popular in the 50s, but doesn't really work nowadays.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 09:22 PM
1

Women usually can't even understand what rp means. Not sure what this has to do with loving as deeply as men. The average woman? Seriously... Yes, seriously. My group is biased, but most happy couples I know share more interests than they differ in, and many of those include traditionally masculine spheres like video games, comic books, "geek" or action movies, etc. Or they at least have basic things in common like intellectual curiosity, love of animals, fitness or outdoorsmanship. If we had th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 08:20 PM
1

Despite how much you yell, they are. Solipsism means you fail to understand anyone outside yourself. A positive trait would be the ability to look outside yourself and understand others' perspectives, which I'd argue many men and women are incapable of, but not all. Immaturity is literally the negative to maturity, and I'd argue maturity should be expected and necessary for any adult to function. Men and women have moments of immaturity, but it is by no means either of their natures. Machiavelli…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 08:11 PM
1

Leads in what way though? I guess I don't understand why a man needs to lead a relationship at all. I wouldn't say that either I or my fiance leads the relationship, yet we're happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 08:06 PM
1

See, that's where I disagree. I disagree that all women on the planet are naturally solipsistic, immature, or Machiavellian. Being people and love focused or wanting children does not imply those negative traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 07:51 PM
1

I don't hate on him, I hate on traditional relationships because of how unhappy my parents were lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 07:49 PM
1

But that's not really defining AWALT, that's defining supposed positive outcomes of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 07:46 PM
1

Lol, it doesn't because I'm fine with challenging my view if there is convincing evidence, and otherwise supporting my view with evidence. I also didn't say that engineers were the only logical people, not sure where you got that, only that I could assume that most people are good at following a logical argument and do extensive research into their interests and hobbies like I do based on who I hang out with. I don't, because I recognize that my group is biased towards that. If you like, I could…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 06:53 PM
1

You must be joking. They're constantly fighting, and clearly unhappy. My mom hated being a housewife and at times would confess that she misses working or that my dad held his paycheck over her head. By contrast, my fiance and I are perfectly happy without him needing to be the leader or the interesting one. I had all my own interests and friends before we met, then we happened to align on a lot of the same things.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 06:49 PM
2

Honestly, I'd argue the opposite. When I hear my older friends talk, they consistently say how different men and women are, whereas I've always thought men and women are pretty similar. They talk about men being the leaders of the household and women being homemakers, while my fiance and I don't really have that dynamic. Or in casual encounters or dating, they mention men having to approach, while I approached my now fiance. TRP or maybe MRP is very traditional in terms of its views of relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 06:46 PM
1

Please describe AWALT in a way that shows it isn't bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 06:40 PM
1

Not when RP advocates one style of relationship and perpetuates the myth that men and women are too different or too attracted to each other to be friends. Most people will accept basic RP things like working out makes you attractive, women generally prefer that men have their shit together, and men generally have to approach and get used to rejection. What people don't accept is that every woman will cheat at the first sign of weakness, "it's just your turn", women can't love as deeply as men, …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 06:39 PM
2

Um, no. If you want data and factual evidence of something, that doesn't make you "afraid". It's reasonable to expect that a universal truth is verifiable. The problem with extrapolating your personal experiences to the world is that your only evidence is your subjective worldview. So, for example, I could extrapolate from my experiences that the majority of people are logical, rational, and like to talk in terms of data because I have been surrounded by these types of people almost all of my li…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 06:33 PM
1

Maybe it's just the subset of people who post here, but I can quote several RP commenters who claim that women only want hypermasculine or alpha men, think that all women are like my mom (no shared interests with their man, no real interests to speak of outside of emotions, children, family/friends and no desire to grow unless their man fucks those interests into them), and think that women will naturally pick fights the way my mom does. Yet here I am, a woman who shares many interests with my f…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 06:23 PM
1

Maybe we just have different definitions of normal then.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 04:52 PM
1

I reject RP type relationships because I haven't seen them work out in my life, while my egalitarian relationship is the happiest I know of. My mom and dad are probably the most RP couple I've ever seen-- my mom is very naive, not very book smart, doesn't really have interests besides her children and drama in her life or tv, has no strong opinions of her own and generally follows my dad, and is a housewife while my dad is the sole breadwinner. My dad is socially dominant and charismatic but has…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 04:48 PM
2

But what is a hundred thousand men in the grand scheme of things? That's why a lot of people have a hard time agreeing with RP, because you're extrapolating the experiences of <1% of the male population to the entire world.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/17 02:35 PM
3

Not really, I've met and heard of some surprisingly normal people who turned out to fetishize pretty weird stuff. There are also always those reddit threads where people talk about dates where they really hit it off with the guy or gal, they're otherwise normal, then got back to their place and realized their fetishes were just too weird for them-- like scat/pee or needs a rubber ball around to get off. Those people aren't weird in life, but their fetishes just turn more people off than not. Bei…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 10:56 PM
3

Yup. It's precisely how I describe egalitarian relationship. It's like an LLP, not a single unit, working together. Traditional relationships are single units, not LLPs. The LLP keeps each party sovereign and distinct and protects them. You've simply trained him well, played off how his mother(and other women) trained him. I disagree with your sentiment here. Firstly, he's not trained, insomuchas I've never asked him to nor expressed displeasure at his lack of doing so. This dynamic actually evo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 10:30 PM
3

Not really, my fiance is an excellent example of this. He's pretty non-confrontational and not what I would call dominant in his relationships with people. But in the bedroom he can be very much so. It's not really an act, just that sex isn't really an indicator for real life. Otherwise people who were into weird, kinky stuff couldn't possibly be normal in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 09:15 PM
4

Lol, I actually don't make him do anything. He does it on his own, as I do for him, because we view each other almost like partners in a business. And that business is our relationship. Obviously there's still love and attraction, it's not a cold transaction, but that's how I'd describe our decision making process. Similarly, in sex, he asks me what I want and how I want to be pleased, and I do the same for him so that we both get the most out of it. We know a bit more about each other's bodies …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 09:09 PM
1

Uh, no? I'm saying that most people end up in relationships with people who aren't the upper echelon of physical attractiveness because, in the end, looks will fade but lasting friendship won't. When I first met my fiance, I got a lot of flack because my family felt I could do better based on his looks. But then they got to know him and realized that I'm attracted to him because he's a genuinely good guy with a great sense of humor. We started as friends, love grew, and we're still very sexually…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 09:04 PM
2

Amen!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 09:01 PM
3

I think they have a point-- I've found myself attracted to both men and women, but I've noticed that women I find especially beautiful. As in, I see most women as attractive unless they're disproportionate or overly chubby. The most attractive men I've seen seem to pale in comparison to the most gorgeous women I've seen. For the record, I'm engaged to a guy lol and I do find him very attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 08:59 PM
1

Most people want their lifetime partnerships to be based on more than just mutual attraction, though. You get older and realize looks fade.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 08:56 PM
5

My fiance and I fell into one another, in the sense that we adopted each other's mannerisms, friends, and even some of our likes/dislikes. He never played pokemon, really, but because I like it so much he started playing it with me and learning about it. Generally, we're still the same people we were before our relationship. But over time, we each became more similar to each other and changed to fit each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 08:52 PM
4

I mean, I also don't want my fiance to do any of those things to me. Your phrasing is always so violent and makes it sound like, essentially, women exist to please and be a man's property. Maybe you're thinking more of a sexual dynamic, but most people can separate how they act in the bedroom vs. outside of it. Example: I enjoy being submissive in bed. But outside of the bedroom, my fiance consults me on many decisions he makes as they directly affect me as well. Sometimes I say no, and he's ok …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 08:47 PM
1

As in, when did the romantic relationship begin? When does it end? My romantic relationship began with my fiance when he offered me his coat when I was cold. It was during a lunch with mutual friends, when I had dressed prettily for him and forgotten that it was a little chilly outside, something I frequently do. One of his friends was trying to set us up, but didn't know we'd already been talking and hitting it off. She was very surprised by this gesture haha. Since then, he always offers his c…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 07:13 PM
1

Sorry, not sure I understand your comment. Do you mean that this: a dominant/submissive or masculine/feminine or work/household way Should be your relationship dynamic? If so I disagree. My fiance and I both work, so we discuss and make decisions together. We rarely butt heads though, so perhaps our dynamic would not work for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 04:20 PM
1

Show me some actual studies instead of fluff articles and I'll happily consider your position. It depends on your relationship, obviously, but I would argue that if you honestly feel like you put in a ton more work than your partner, you're with the wrong one. My fiance and I have a good relationship because we each try to love each other a little bit each day and make each other's lives easier, not expect constant "entertainment" as you put it. So we make each other coffee, do chores for each o…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 01:17 AM
1

Lol ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/17 01:05 AM
3

Nope. If anything, I'd need at least three sources to work with to figure out the definition. Really its how I approach most things I want knowledge of, get no less than three perspectives. For most things it's necessary to have multiple sources to make good conclusions. I'd argue words are not one of those things, simply because 99% of the population will understand a word as the dictionary defines it. As an example, I just googled the word indoctrinated, and they all come up with the same comm…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 11:17 PM
3

Maybe some other women can weigh in, but I know for me personally, I can't be sexually attracted without knowing a guy or gal. I frequently find myself appreciating nice bodies in a clinical sense, like "oh, he has nice eyes, hair, body" or "her butt is so tight, her boobs look so soft". But the only times I've thought about sexing someone came after getting to know and like their personality, quirks, etc. For that reason, I've always struggled with loving friends, guys and gals alike. But it en…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 11:05 PM
1

I know for me, it doesn't. But my fiance can turn me on with just the right words/touches.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 10:55 PM
1

You also have to factor in that women try to make men break up with them, so they don't end up looking like the bad guy. If the guy is being a good partner and you are just not attracted/entertained anymore then it kinda makes you look bad dumping him. This is unfounded conjecture for one thing, and for another thing you can't honestly tell me that 100% of breakups initiated by men were somehow orchestrated by women. Even if you could argue that, those men are better off without those manipulati…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 10:46 PM
3

You crack me up. You don't care what one source says even if that source is Merriam-Webster? Am I indoctrinated by RP? To your definition I'd say no. Which doesn't make sense to me. I have reactions based on RP indoctrination regardless of if I'm aware of the beliefs I'm indoctrinated with or not. It has nothing to do with "awareness". You can be aware of your beliefs without being critical of them. To your question I would ask do you generally agree with all RP points and disagree with or disco…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 10:16 PM
1

He has a history of using words incorrectly and putting the onus on his audience.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 09:53 PM
1

Those are all blogs... do you have an actual source? Here's an actual study showing men and women initiate breakups equally: http://data.stanford.edu/hcmst Cliff notes are: 2,262 adults, ages 19 to 94, who had opposite sex partners in 2009. By 2015, 371 of these people had broken up or gotten divorced. As part of his analysis, Rosenfeld found that women initiated 69 percent of all divorces, compared to 31 percent for men. In contrast, there was not a statistically significant difference between …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 09:51 PM
1

All that stuff you're describing is like the first weeks or months of a relationship. "Falling in love" while you're still pursuing a girl is infatuation. I've been with my fiance 5 years. We have both invested heavily into each other, in some cases quite literally as I have helped him buy a car. If he broke up with me tomorrow, I would be devastated. I have imagined my entire life with, growing old with this man. To know that he didn't see himself in the same position with me would destroy me. …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 07:19 PM
3

Is English your first language? Or do you merely have poor reading comprehension? I gave you the accepted use definition of indoctrination. You're not indoctrinated if you're critical of the ideology. As in, criticize that ideology or find yourself disagreeing with key points of it. You can't use a word and then come up with your own definition of that word, you're shooting your logical arguments in the foot, really. I'm a moderate because I disagree with key points of both the right and left. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 07:11 PM
3

If you can't come up with an example of a supposedly observed phenomenon, I can't really debate you. I personally have never seen this supposed difference between men and women. Everyone is indoctrinated by the left that goes to college or listens to the news outside of Fox and similar obviously right wing prop. Including myself. Set. Buddy. This is why people often argue with you. Words mean things, not whatever u/SetConsumes believes they mean when he wants to say something inflammatory and co…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 06:14 PM
2

I don't think so. Both partners invest in a relationship, and I think it's often the partner who is broken up with who feels the loss more deeply, especially if they thought their relationship was otherwise good. I've seen this happen numerous times-- one person realizes they don't like the other person as much as the other person likes them, so they break it off before it gets too serious. The other person is in agony, wanting to know what went wrong, why it happened, and what they can do to fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 03:22 PM
1

I'd argue if you're really autistic you're going to have a tough time anywhere-- so why not push yourself and try to find someone on college. If you're already out, there's no better time than now. My coworkers were just lamenting that it's much harder to meet singles they're into while working.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 01:28 PM
1

You actually are a bad writer. If your audience doesn't understand your points or misreads your meaning or tone, it's not the audience who is lacking.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 01:19 PM
3

I was giving you an example of what "handling" a college educated woman would mean. It means handling the fact that your partner stands on equal ground intellectually. Some men can't handle that. Never said we weren't complimentary in other ways, either. As I said in my earlier comment, I'm not at all "bratty" to my fiance, nor do I needlessly argue. Some men just wouldn't be able to handle the fact that I can call them on untrue statements or that I don't take everything people say at face valu…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 01:10 PM
6

The problem I've noticed women have is not being able to hold as many points without getting confused or making logical errors, a lack of coming up with new and creative thoughts. Do you have a source besides your own head? Or at least an example of your claim? I find your distinction between intellect and intellectual to be severely lacking, if only because it's a great excuse to consider yourself vastly superior to others simply by virtue of your own nonsensical thoughts. Critical thinking and…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 03:33 AM
3

Ummm, stop me if I'm wrong here, but sn't this: I think it's part of why women here get mad at my authoritarian tone. Claiming to be authoritative? :3
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 12:34 AM
4

IQ is the only factual measure of intellect that we have. It's a predictor of intellectual curiosity and ability to grasp abstract concepts. If you can tell me a better measure of intellect that isn't u/SetConsumes personal feelings, I will be amazed. A high IQ person is not necessarily more intellectual than a lower IQ person. I'll bite, what's your definition of intellectualism? Because I'm not following. This isn't what happens overall. And college is an indoctrination machine for the liberal…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 12:31 AM
13

Not u/HugMuffin, but I'll give you an example. My fiance and I are both engineers. Because we're both intellectually curious and like to think about and analyze everything, we sometimes butt heads-- for example he might think it's a good idea to wait on a purchase, while I might think it's not. But we're both able to run the numbers and factually prove which side is correct without any hurt feelings-- that's how it works in our jobs, too, after all. You have to support your position with data. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 12:05 AM
5

Good point, hadn't thought about the sheer logistics of it. I also met my fiance in college, and I can't tell you how many of our 25 to 30 y/o friends lament the fact that they didn't for all the reasons you mentioned above (work is risky, bars aren't serious, etc.). It's much, much harder to meet an attractive, single person who is interested in getting serious when you're working than in college.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 11:57 PM
5

I don't know what this: He states: "College is also a place that makes women think they can be your equal. I personally only deal with chick's that never been to college. Non college girls still know how to be women." Is even supposed to mean. Intellectually, the average man and woman is equal. Statistically, most women are smarter than or equal to most men due to the slightly higher variation in IQ for men. http://personal.lse.ac.uk/kanazawa/pdfs/PAID2011.pdf Unless he's referring to college ed…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 11:54 PM
7

More gold from u/SetConsumes! Women don't get mad at your "authoritarian tone", we get mad because you spout BS like: Women feel like because they went to college that means that their opinion must be taken more seriously, has more weight to it, that now she's intellectually comparable to a man. When the average woman IS intellectually comparable to a man and does want to have her voice heard. There's no statistical difference in intelligence between the average man and woman in terms of IQ: htt…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 11:18 PM
1

So earn it. That's all I have to say. You can think you deserve something all you want, but if you don't work for it you won't get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 09:36 PM
1

yes I deserve whatever jobs I can get, yes I deserve a middle class or better lifestyle. Whatever job you can get, right. So if you can't get a job because there is a better candidate, no you don't deserve that job. And no one deserves a middle or better class lifestyle, that's entitlement. At best, and best case scenario, everyone deserves to eat, have shelter, and have healthcare. If you want more than that, you have to earn it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 08:49 PM
1

Whatever you say buddy, point was I haven't seen the government hand out shit, this is money from coporations for maternity/paternity leave and subsidized by high college tuition prices for STEM outreach programs. The way paternity leave works at my company (and maternity leave, for that matter) is you get some extra amount of paid time off that you can take whenever. And contrary to what you're saying here, all men use it. Because most men want to see their kids' formative years, who would've t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 03:30 PM
3

I used to score as an INTJ, but somewhere along the line I became an INTP. I think everyone needs to date someone opposite to them in this regard, so one partner can be the administrator of their relationship and actually plan things while the other can keep things light but be serious when it's needed. It's worked out for me and my fiance so far.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 02:22 PM
3

...most people like to travel, don't they? I've heard that my generation is known for being more into traveling than previous generations because we want experiences instead of things, but both my fiance and I are very excited to plan trips around the world with friends and family whenever we're able to.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 02:02 PM
2

You're right, I was hyperbolizing to make a point. If you've ever watched the videos labeled as "porn for women" I think those are pretty good usually. The women don't yell as loud or look plastic and the men are usually similar to that pic you posted: lean, young looking, and nice face & hair.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 01:59 PM
1

Never said people don't deserve an income. But in a capitalist economy, you sure as heck don't deserve a job if someone can do it better than you and fit into whatever team they're hiring for well. There are jobs you can get without needing social skills. Engineer isn't one of them. Admittedly, engineering is probably one of the more forgiving career paths when it comes to social skills, but you need to be able to communicate your ideas and make friends if you want to go anywhere in most high-pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 01:53 PM
4

Wowww. Lotta assumptions you got there
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 03:13 AM
1

Meh, my fiance is around my height. He's 5'8", and personally I've never really cared about height.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 03:10 AM
6

Yet the men are always ugly. It's almost like porn is made for men :O
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 03:08 AM
1

Fair enough. I think the graduating EE class at my school was ~6% women. But the MechE, ChemE, and BiomedE classes were all roughly ~40-50% women. Graduated a couple years back.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 02:05 AM
2

Women being people focused means they will naturally develop the tactics that are then used to blame shift. Women being people focused makes them care about their image and perception others have of them, which blame shifting opportunistically helps achieve. People focus leads to developing strong blame shifting abilities which also enables solipsism too, and solipsism helps the people focus and image control, power exchange also. It all ties in together quite well. People shit on solipsism a lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 02:01 AM
2

If you can't explain this difference in possessiveness, then I'm inclined to call bullshit. It does have to do with how male sexual attraction is predatory and the dynamic in the bedroom, she wants to be taken. This does not in any way indicate to me that men and women love differently somehow, as both men and women are capable of separating love from sex. And both men and women are capable of enjoying domination and being dominated. Sexual energy is different, I'll give you that, but both my fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/17 01:51 AM
1

Honestly, I think people just resist race mixing and disguise it with this concern over future kids. Or they get butthurt because they can't attract attractive women of their own race but see them with white guys and assume racism. One of my friends tried to make this argument about my fiance and I, and I tore him a new one. I was really hurt that he would think of my fiance and I that way, especially since I and my father are mixed race. Can't help that my fiance and I ended up meeting after I …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 10:41 PM
1

When did you graduate? Which discipline? Gender/race ratio in my unnamed top 5 program was pretty different. But EE has very few women from what I hear.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 10:28 PM
1

It's cheesy but... my current one. My fiance and I are each other's best friends even after five years, which is to say we share a lot of hobbies and interests and have very compatible personalities and senses of humor. We're both a little introverted, so some days we'd rather hang out with each other than friends, but we still each have our own friend groups and coworkers so we're still independent enough to not drive each other crazy. We're also fine with each going off and playing a single pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 07:52 PM
2

No height requirement. I've had friends that did though, and they had choice words when I first started dating my roughly-same-height fiance, lol. Until they realized it's stupid to exclude almost half the population on something they can't change.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 07:41 PM
5

Ah yes, I forgot my feeeemale nature makes me inherently bad at sciencey things
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 07:31 PM
8

Lol, didn't I tell you yesterday how women totally feel possessive love for their man? And you never explained to me how feeeemale jealousy is different to male jealousy, or how a man is somehow the only one capable of possessive love.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 07:30 PM
9

Lol, you definitely do have a habit of not responding when it's clear you're wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 07:28 PM
3

Tie women being people focused with women being good at blame shifting, for one. Where is that in your post? And how is that proved by women being people focused? Quite interesting, makes sense that they'd do this, I didn't know that they did however. It's funny really that we want women in non people focused jobs so much that we reframe other jobs to look like they're more people focused lol. It's not reframing, it's informing. The girls I was mentoring pictured engineering jobs as working in a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 07:26 PM
1

Just saying that these are women who make good money and want to spend it frugally, myself included. I'm looking to retire early, not drive myself and my fiance into debt. But to answer your question, ~45% of my graduating class was female, 95% of my class found engineering jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 07:16 PM
3

You have a point, I think men and women who are high-earners care more about drive and frugality than the actual money their partner makes. Because if they're making more than enough to live and retire comfortably, all that matters is they can respect their spouse and they know they won't get financially screwed.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 05:11 PM
1

Not true. Most of my fellow female engineers are extremely frugal. Yet my SAHM would spend all my dad's money on purses and hair/nail appointments.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 05:09 PM
1

Mm, I find I care more about the parts that gained the income in my fiance. I like that he's hard-working, a good people person, smart, confident, etc., and because of those traits he got a good job out of college and even better job 2 years later and is now making as much as I am. But I'm also a working woman, so maybe it's just that high earning people appreciate good traits in a partner more than money because they don't really need more money but it's nice to have?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 05:06 PM
3

Omg you've described my mom and dad exactly. Naive SAHM with spending problem .
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 04:52 PM
3

I'll bite. What's the purpose of this assertion? It's hardly a debate that most women tend to want to work with people and are people focused. Women are better able to remember small details about people than men, and testosterone generally numbs your perceptions of emotions. It's a staple of the STEM outreach programs I was a part of in college-- show girls what being an engineer does for people, so that they don't think being an engineer means not interacting with anyone but your computer. And…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 04:49 PM
1

Alrighty, you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 02:30 PM
1

Daycare, until they're old enough to go to school. Most women in my field do that, and daycare is awesome in that it helps socialize and potty train kids. Honestly I have almost zero memories of my mom staying at home or whoever took care of me until I was going to school.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 02:19 PM
1

My mom was a SAHM for reference. I just don't see the appeal in it, it made no difference in my or my sisters' childhoods and made her much more isolated and lazier than otherwise, to where she was spending hours watching tv and playing facebook games. She also has no concept of my drive in my career or the worth of money. But YMMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 02:16 PM
1

My mom was also a SAHM, and she didn't do anything but watch TV, nap, and play facebook games while she was home. Oh, and also occasionally going out to lunch with other moms. Cleaning up and cooking takes maybe 10 hours a 7 day week if you're extremely thorough. She uses her experience from her former working life to either get a job or start a business? Ok. Assuming your wife will be raising one kid until school age, that's ~5 yrs. A 5 yr gap in employment will make it very difficult to find a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 02:11 PM
1

No, but we are planning on having kids. When we do, one of us is going to work part time. Depends on who makes more money. But I won't stop working altogether, and my fiance understands and encourages that. He always says how his mom was incredibly lonely and bored as a SAHM once he and his brothers were in school, and it ended up financially screwing his parents since they don't have much for retirement now. My post was all about the dynamic when have kids. If there's no kids, yes, she should b…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 02:04 PM
1

Lol, my first crush was a guy whose dad was white and mom was vietnamese. But I'm also Latina/Asian myself. I joke that my fiance is white because we'll make pretty babies :P
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/17 01:55 PM
1

No, I think you're failing to see my point and failing to recall correctly, as I listed examples of common dealbreakers or things that I would check when first dating. Because as much as you like to deny it, things like believing the same things, wanting kids, and having the same views towards money are pretty damn important for a marriage. Being together for 5, 10, 15, 20+ years means you generally enjoy each others' company and generally find you're on the same path in life. Divorce is built o…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 09:10 PM
1

Like u/buttlollipop, my fiance is the one who does this, actually lol. Although, it still doesn't really address the problem that your wife would be spending something like 35 hours a week at home alone. I doubt cleaning and recleaning would take that much time, and there aren't many other adults who aren't working full time....
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 08:54 PM
2

I was mainly talking about having companies offer maternity leave, and I'd fight for paternity leave as well, considering that not having time or money to have kids is one of the reasons Japan has a declining birth rate. I've yet to see this "free money" that people offer me because I have a vagina, unless you're referring to programs encouraging women to go into STEM? Because I have seen those, and they generally are necessary since otherwise girls like me, who were actively discouraged by rela…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 08:48 PM
1

So what happens when the kids go to school? She watches tv all day until they get home?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 02:35 PM
5

I'm a working woman, and I've got to say, I only see advantages to my fiance and I both working. We're both engineers, so together we make enough money to buy a house in an economy where that is largely unheard of for our generation. We're able to earn and save more money, which means we'll both be able to retire much younger than we would otherwise, which is our plan. We also have much more financial security than our peers. If either of us wanted to leave our jobs or pursue their own business,…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 01:15 PM
2

Ok, well I'm an engineer who will likely keep working once my fiance and I have kids. I just meant I have more experience handling newborns and toddlers, so it only makes sense that I do the bulk of that until my fiance is up to speed or until the kids are old enough to go to school. I like kids and babies, but so does my fiance. Edit: Also as a sidenote, have you ever thought that those women just want other women to have options? Like because of women fighting for my rights, I was able to get …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 05:00 AM
1

How so? I had a newborn sister when I was 15, so I'm most suited to taking care of babies and toddlers. My dad had the same experience, so he was the primary childcare giver when I was a baby (as in he had to change my and my sister's diapers and potty train us, since my mom never had young siblings didn't know how).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 04:19 AM
1

Six years, late twenties. And I can assure you up close it is very similar to how I've heard RP men describe women in relationships. He's even confided to a friend that he is attracted to another woman and thinks of leaving her, despite the fact that his girlfriend is wholly devoted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 01:45 AM
2

Ok, then what is men's jealousy? Or how do men own women outside of sex? Have definitely had my man say his dick is mine haha. Lol, truth is, we're much more similar in love than you seem to think.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 01:43 AM
1

We've talked extensively about our dealbreakers: don't get lazy and don't stop wanting the same things out of life. Neither of us can stand laziness, and we both want to be on the same trajectory in life. Not to say that trajectory hasn't changed at all, but what's important is that we've grown together, not apart. For instance, we both love traveling. We're willing to compromise on where to go and how often and budget, but loving travel is non-negotiable in the sense that we'd be very unhappy w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 01:05 AM
2

He's not a bad person, but he can't function on his own; has no job or drive to get one, plays video games all day, doesn't really contribute to housework or cooking despite being home all day. But she loves him because he is a good person, sweet to her, and they've been together for several years. She doesn't leave him because she loves him as a person, even though he's a bad life partner. Kinda sounds like a man not being able to leave a woman who does all those things, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 12:59 AM
2

Jealousy is possessive. If a woman has ever felt jealous when her man gets hit on by another woman, she feels possessive of him. Plus, if you ever feel proud by proxy of what your man does, almost like it's your accomplishment.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 12:53 AM
3

I agree with u/VermiciousKnidzz. What's great about my generation is that no one feels like a woman's role is x and a man's role is y, because it gives each of us the freedom to be who we want, do what we want, and act according to our abilities. My fiance is a much cleaner person than I am and loves to cook, so he does the housework and instructs me on what to clean and when. The only thing he doesn't like doing is laundry, which I'm happy to do for us. I have an excellent memory and make frien…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/17 12:02 AM
2

I think the part you're missing is women are possessive of their men, too. See? We're not so different after all!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/17 11:39 PM
3

Both men and women do this. Hence, women trapped in abusive relationships or in relationships with men who just aren't good people. I've seen women who are making good money support men who won't even lift a finger to help around the house, let alone find a job, because they love him. Love makes us all do crazy things that don't make any sense or actually end up hurting us.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/17 11:33 PM
2

Lol, I'm pretty sure we'd end up with a similar list on that case. I have zero complaints about him. When other women complain about their husbands to me, it boggles my mind. I only ever have good things to say about him, despite what you may assume about our relationship from my views.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/17 10:59 PM
1

Doesn't really matter, even without context the question is "do you want to LTR all your femal friends, why or why not?" And one of the top rated responses was to the effect of "no, actually tried to date my female friend, but we didn't work as a couple so I broke it off". It happens, you realize you like someone, love their personality and sense of humor, but a romantic relationship just doesn't work for you two. And you may even take it one step further and propose that both of you draft a "no…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/17 01:46 AM
2

Either way, most men barring one or two responded that they do not fall in love with women who are their friends. And that they have friends they care about deeply, but are definitely not physically attracted to :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 10:20 PM
3

I said that to emphasize that the engineers I hung out with had no issues getting women. So his assertion that all engineers are straight out because they're "disgusting nerds" is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 07:18 PM
4

Meh, I think most people are just living together without marrying these days because it's a bit risky to tie the knot. I know my female cousin and a female coworker resist getting married for some of the same reasons I've seen men give here (afraid of divorce rape, seen some nasty divorces, etc.) and my cousin even has kids with her 8+ yr boyfriend. It was originally used to ensure valid inheritance, merge powerful families, and transfer guardianship of women, so of course it's dying out. That …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 02:49 PM
3

Men and women want companionship. Personally, I think it's great for men that women are working now, it takes some pressure off the guys to be the sole provider in a family. My fiance and I both work, so we have confidence when, say, quitting a job to take a better one or if we have a surprise expense. You could argue that women now leave men more easily since they're financially independent, but if she would leave you at the first sign of trouble then why would you want to be in a relationship …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 02:38 PM
5

What? How old are you? My fiance and I are both engineers and this hasn't been my experience at all. Also, having a STEM degree doesn't make you a disgusting nerd, but IME there are some disgusting (like don't take care of personal hygeine) people in STEM. Those people have to clean up if they want jobs though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 02:14 PM
1

Brains over beauty anyday. What's beauty without substance behind it? I'm picturing a vapid, uninteresting but 10/10 man or woman. I definitely wouldn't want that myself nor would I want that in a man so...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 03:37 AM
2

Guess who I'd blame that on? Uhh, the son? Is that the answer you're looking for? Because you can be the best parent in the world and still have your kids be terrible. My fiance is hard-working, self-driven, and socially normal. His brother? Not so much. There's a difference between being dependent and being a child. Being totally dependent on someone IS being a child. It's why people act more childish the more spoiled they are. If your parents paid for all your stuff and then your husband did, …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 03:25 AM
2

Where do you get this idea of being independent means having no family? Nobody is suggesting cutting off your family so you can be an independent woman. Financial independence is beneficial to my family. I can pay my own way if they want to go on vacation with me, I can help them out if they go through a financial crisis, etc. It's utterly stupid to think a woman should just rely on her family and man until she can't. Oh well, my dad has cancer and my mom doesn't have a job, guess me and my sist…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 11:13 PM
2

Lol basically. Or else the woman must take up provider roles. Have more sons is another answer. Pretty much how it was before. Women worked out of necessity and hardship more than desire. Ah yes, assuming your sons are all succesful and not college dropouts who can't hold down a job ;) or worse, want to go into RTF or something, bleh. No thanks, I'll take my financial security, and I actually like my job and coworkers, I like using my brain believe it or not! According to white feminist culture.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 11:02 PM
3

What do you mean by know and appreciate his flaws? How does that actually play out? I know that his biggest flaw is conflict avoidance, sometimes to the point where his needs aren't met. I don't shy from conflict, but I appreciate his good heart and desire to avoid starting a fight without good reason. Often times, I'll tell him or fight for him if he's not getting what he deserves, and he'll tell me when it's a good time to keep the peace (like in working relationships, for instance) and just i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 10:57 PM
3

Basically these are poor people problems. The father can't afford to feed and house their grown daughter? What's that like $5k a year? Ok? So don't be poor then? Lol. Also, I wouldn't really want to live with my parents until I find a man, part of being an adult is moving out and striking it out on your own. And again, how could I expect to help my family unless I was financially independent myself? Getting a man is what addresses the future. Oh yes, let me just find someone who makes enough to …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 10:32 PM
3

But why burden your family if you can be financially independent? As I said in another comment, what happens if your family needs financial help and you don't have a man? Working a simple job means only covering the bare minimum I assume? How do you plan and save for the future?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 08:19 PM
2

Not saying men aren't as likely to be bi or gay, just saying they're more likely to be closeted about it due to cultural treatment of closeness between women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 08:18 PM
2

Why should women ever be alone? They should either be with their man or family. The bigger problem currently is the large number of women without a family support structure forcing them to be more self reliant. Because an adult should provide for themselves? It's not that women shouldn't have a family structure, but would you want to burden your family that way? I certainly wouldn't, they have enough to worry about with my younger siblings. Plus, if I can financially support myself, then if some…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 08:16 PM
2

Nah, ime it's so much better to have someone on your level. My mom is not well educated, has very little life experience, and came from a poor socioeconomic background; she doesn't even know how to do her taxes, let alone provide for herself. In swoops my dad, with his family of college grads and own degree, making money and taking care of her. They're utterly miserable because: A: my mom loves to start drama and by extension, arguments. She has nothing better to do and doesn't understand how ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 06:43 PM
1

Yeah, this was my parents exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 06:37 PM
7

Lol, look at you telling us ladies how we think and feel. How is it not caring to know my fiance when I know and appreciate his flaws? Or do you assume I just feel apathy towards him until he throws gifts in my direction?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 06:35 PM
3

So what do women do when they're not in a relationship? Live off daddy? Come on.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 06:19 PM
3

I mean, I don't know about the women you know, but personally my happiness is intrinsically tied to my financial independence. And it's not because I don't trust my fiance or I don't value myself without money, it's because it's nice to have that peace of mind. Like if my fiance ever gets sick or loses his job, I can take care of us along with our six month savings safety net. Or worse, if he dies young after we have kids, I know I'll be able to support our future children. It's not expecting wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/17 06:18 PM
5

If you look at bonobos as an example, it probably has more to do with the fact that sex builds social bonds. So if it's evolutionarily advantageous for a species to form very close social bonds, then you'll see both sexes sometimes engage in homosexual behavior a la bonobos, dolphins, and elephants. Throw in the fact that modern culture sees closeness between women (cuddling, sharing drinks, etc.) to be more acceptable than between men, and you've got more women attracted to women than men attra…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/17 06:08 PM
3

That's cool, I'm Hispanic-Asian myself, too lol
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/17 05:48 PM
3

I'm a sucker for high cheekbones and narrow chins swoon
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/17 01:23 AM
3

Oh man, yes, JGL is bae
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/17 01:19 AM
15

This Brazillian-Japanese male model: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/f3/f1/b5/f3f1b5b0a91d62de48239ddc3a7a5ee1.jpg
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/17 01:16 AM
1

Do you have any evidence for mostly women asking to open relationships? Also, how is cheating on the side any better than wanting an open relationship? At least asking to open up the relationship is honest about your desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 10:18 PM
1

That wasn't the question, the question was whether you could have a relationship with ALL of your female friends, like the guy I was arguing with claimed. Compromises are fine, I can make compromises and have made them, like on where to live and work, but the argument from the guy I mentioned was that men will compromise ANYTHING. According to him, men do not need any kind of criteria met to count women as "dateable". That's the part I find unbelieveable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 09:34 PM
1

I absolutely agree with you, and that's the distinction I was trying to make to this person about why there are some people I will be very close friends with but never date.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 09:31 PM
1

I think you mean plenty of people do that. Doesn't TRP always say men are naturally polygamous? Although I've personally never heard that monogamy is unnatural or used that as an excuse. That said, although my fiance and I are committed to each other, we know it's perfectly natural to still be attracted to other people. We just don't act on it
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 03:20 PM
1

Yes, I think compatibility is important. My fiance and I have said that we believe having 70-90% in common is probably best, so that you have enough in common to relate and enjoy together but enough different so you don't drive each other crazy. We're both a little introverted, which works because we can spend one week hanging out with friends and another staying at home working on separate hobbies or watching a netflix series together. We're also both into video games, but our tastes differ eno…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 03:06 PM
1

According to the guy I was arguing with, men love women for their inner being and soul, so if you love someone that deeply you would gladly relationship them. While only women have arbitrary checklists where they categorize men by "dateable" and "undateable".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 02:53 PM
1

Actually, he claimed to be married for 20 years, but I didn't believe him.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 02:51 PM
1

Lol... what? I'm getting married in my mid twenties precisely because I found a man who has all of those qualities you've described but ALSO has the same life goals and trajectory as me. As in, we both want kids, we both love travel, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 02:49 PM
2

Think beyond my personal preference. I was giving an example of a hard limit, which most people have. It can be a super low bar like "isn't a serial killer or felon" but most people have some sort of threshold at which they wouldn't want a relationship with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 03:36 PM
3

Yeah, I don't think I've ever shit tested my fiance... maybe it's just a certain subset of women who do that sort of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 02:15 PM
2

This has been my experience, too, in that I don't shit test my fiance because why would I? I think it's just a certain personality type of women who do that. Normal relationships you just care for each other and show that often.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 02:13 PM
2

Yeah, this was what I was trying to tell him. Sometimes, you can love someone for who they are and love spending time with them but realize that you'd never work out in a relationship. If they have some grating personality flaw, it becomes 1000x worse in a relationship because you see them much, much more often. Plus, for the escort thing, incompatible lifestyles are a huge part of why some couples don't work out.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 01:58 PM
2

Most of them aren't physically attractive to me or have some other deal breaker like too much drinking for me. Yeah, this is exactly why I consider many of my male friends undateable. But according to the guy I was talking to, only women have dealbreakers because only women look at relationships as a deal lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 01:55 PM
2

Right, that was exactly my thought process, but he kept arguing that only women had a list of criteria and utilities that a man must have, whereas men could just fall in love with a woman and adapt to whatever she wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 01:51 PM
3

Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 01:49 PM
1

My thoughts exactly, if you're that attracted to all your friends you're gonna have a bad time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 05:35 AM
1

The person I was talking to, apparently. When I asked if he would like to date his close male friends, too, he quipped "No, because I'm a heterosexual."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 05:33 AM
2

Yes, exactly! And the guy I was arguing with in another thread was saying this was "objectifying" men somehow because apparently only women think about things like kids or no pets as dealbreakers. But IME, you can love someone deeply and still not want a relationship with them for these sorts of reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 05:31 AM
2

Nah, but this guy was asserting that if he wasn't married, he'd be dating one of his female friends, because he was romantically interested in all of them. Basically, it was impossible in his mind that you could be friends with people and not want to date them unless you were a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 04:51 AM
3

What? No I meant that you can have all those things in common but it doesn't matter if you then realize that you have one major conflict... like kids for instance. For many people, kids or no kids is an absolute dealbreaker. Most people wouldn't let a romantic relationship progress to the point where you're "throwing away" a perfectly good relationship because they'll try to find out early in dating if those important common goals or ways of thinking are there. For example, I love my cats. So ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 04:48 AM
3

Sure, but having similar interests, personalities, and sense of humor don't mean a damn if you have differing views on things like kids, life plans, etc. That's kinda been my argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 12:34 AM
3

Is there really no woman you wouldn't want an LTR with that you know and care for? Like she's fun to be around but would make a terrible wife for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 12:19 AM
1

I don't think you're understanding what I mean, so I made a thread where you can argue with a bunch of guys who feel the way I do: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/62oui9/q4men_would_you_want_to_be_in_a_romantic/
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/17 12:16 AM
6

Yes, thank you. This was exactly my argument to the person, but he insisted that was only a woman's way of thinking because only we "objectify" men with our criteria for a relationship lol. Apparently it's impossible to enjoy someone's company without wanting to pursue them romantically.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/17 11:28 PM
4

I've never heard anyone but TRP try to excuse bad behavior with evo-psych. And for most divorced couples I know, their divorce had nothing to do with hypergamy, branch-swinging, or what have you. Just plain ol' incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/17 10:54 PM
2

The second guy, probably. But I could be biased, I'm marrying him ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/17 03:29 PM
1

Personally, I think it's fine to set relationship boundaries, and those aren't all that crazy to me. I'd probably step it down to "don't go out without your partner" as I see work functions like happy hours, dinners, lunches,etc. a little differently. Usually you're trying to build camraderie with your coworkers, not bone them. Now if you're going out alone with the same opposite sex coworker and you know they're interested in you, your spouse has reason to be concerned. But neither I nor my fia…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/17 03:26 PM
1

Most of your points I agree with, a couple I don't. Played video games I would qualify this as "plays too much mindless video games." I think of my friends who spend >70 hours a week playing video games alone or watching tv, that's just unhealthy. I love video games, but I'd say 70% of the time I'm playing with friends online and I usually try to take a break and work on other hobbies, too, throughout the week. Too close to his mother and/or emulated his father Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/17 03:15 PM
1

I like to take care of my fiance, and at times feel pretty protective of him. When we were first dating, a friend of his (who wasn't a very good friend it turned out) I guess got jealous that my guy had me while he had no one. He started bragging a lot around us about how he's lifting and he's so fit and making stupid comments towards my guy (like mean put-downs disguised as joking around) and the whole time I was just rolling my eyes and making witty comebacks to his put-downs. There have been …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/17 06:50 PM
4

Yeah, just said that we make fun of arrogant guys lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/17 04:10 PM
5

Didn't say I was turned on by how well guys do at work... just that we make fun of guys who are overly confident about themselves. Especially if they say things that are blatantly ridiculous or incorrect. Also, for the record, my fiance is an electrical engineer lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/17 04:10 PM
5

Overly confident men are a turn off for most women, too. Being overly confident implies acting like you're all that when you're not, pure arrogance. At work, we women all make fun of guys like that or bitch about him. We might not say anything to him or to other men about him, especially if we want to preserve worklife harmony and he's still a valuable team member, but we're definitely turned off by him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/17 02:53 PM
2

Excellent explanation. It absolutely is easier for attractive people to get what they want. But that doesn't mean you should feel sorry for yourself for not being in the top 1% of men or women, just try to overcome that physical attractiveness in other ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/17 02:30 PM
2

No, because I am heterosexual. Still, I love them, and want to partner with them for life because they are wonderful people. If they were women, I would be sexually/romantically attracted to each of them. K. I'm sure you'd love to be in a relationship with your sisters, too. Sorry to break it to you, but most people will leave you if you become a mass murderer. Or if you go from being a perfectly reasonable person to an abusive asshole. Just because dealbreakers exist doesn't mean every relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/17 01:44 PM
2

I see that we have different definitions of friends. I would call what you see as friends, cronies or associates or some specified class of "buddies." For me friends are people that I care about deeply. K. Just because I don't want to date them, doesn't mean I don't care about them deeply. You can also care about someone deeply while having different views on stuff like kids, ideal home life, etc. Do you want to date all your male friends, too? What happens if he changes his mind about kids, if …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/17 12:12 AM
1

Men and women don't care what words actually mean, just what they mean in common usage. Nobody pulls out a dictionary so that they can be perfectly clear in meaning, just ask how many people still use irregardless and penultimate incorrectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 07:08 PM
5

You don't know them personally and can freely objectify them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 07:05 PM
2

Ah yes, the usual "men love more deeply and fully than women." Ipso facto QED women are horrible objectifying harpies. The fact of the matter is that many men are willing to overlook huge dealbreakers and flaws in a relationship, while many women are not. And many men cannot clearly articulate what they want in a woman besides a nice body and a pretty face. That doesn't mean we're objectifying men just because we have a more clear idea of what we want in a partner, it just means men are more pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 06:58 PM
4

As some of the other women have said here, cute definitely means to me that I'm interested in someone for more than just their looks. Same with women in my friend group or family, they'll say a guy is cute if they get to know him or they'll say your SO is cute as opposed to hot, which kinda means "you made a good choice, he's a catch." I call my fiance cute or handsome pretty interchangeably, but I'd never call him hot. The connotation for hot to me is more objectifying a guy for his appearance …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 06:37 PM
6

Neither do men lol can't tell you how many times I've heard men and women use words incorrectly, drives me nuts as a word nerd
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 06:31 PM
1

I think most women want their relationship to be at least equal. Doesn't mean the men have to be better in every way, but I know for me I wouldn't want to date someone working at starbucks while I'm well into my career as an engineer... not saying that person is bad by any means, just that the potential problems in a relationship with that much income inequality are not worth it to me. Men experience the same kinds of issues when dating a woman who is much poorer, too, but I think a lot more men…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 02:58 PM
2

I don't think women view men as objects... personally, I think it just boils down to a difference in how men are attracted vs women. I think guys have trouble separating feelings of friendship for a woman from deeper feelings, and often idealize women they're close to. As a woman, I didn't and don't view my guy friends as potential partners. In fact, most of the time the reason we're friends only is because I realized within minutes or days of meeting that we were fundamentally incompatible for …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 02:49 PM
1

I mean, biologically speaking, most men are going to be stronger and taller than women on average. Average height for men is 2" taller than the average height for women, muscle mass is far easier for men to have than women. I'd chalk your observations up to the math working out more than anything. As for richer, stronger, older, etc... as I said in an earlier comment, all I care about when it comes to my fiance is that he's a good life partner. Which means he's got his life together as much as I…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 03:12 AM
1

I mean, biologically speaking, most men are going to be stronger and taller than women on average. Average height for men is 2" taller than the average height for women, muscle mass is far easier for men to have than women. I'd chalk your observations up to the math working out more than anything. As for richer, stronger, older, etc... as I said in an earlier comment, all I care about when it comes to my fiance is that he's a good life partner. Which means he's got his life together as much as I…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 03:12 AM
2

I mean, biologically speaking, most men are going to be stronger and taller than women on average. Average height for men is 2" taller than the average height for women, muscle mass is far easier for men to have than women. I'd chalk your observations up to the math working out more than anything. As for richer, stronger, older, etc... as I said in an earlier comment, all I care about when it comes to my fiance is that he's a good life partner. Which means he's got his life together as much as I…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/17 03:04 AM
1

I've said this before in similar threads to this, but I really think it's more that women prefer to be with their equals OR better in areas they value. As in, if I consider myself an ambitious, hard-working woman, signs of laziness or lack of ambition are going to repulse me. My fiance is the same age as me, makes less money, and is less successful in the sense that I was promoted higher in my job than he was in his job and my work is more recognized at my company. But these kinds of details rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/17 11:44 PM
4

And most children grow up and recognize the difference between fiction and reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/17 02:28 PM
5

Most people are willing to take a risk and not think ill unless given reason to. Take the lion whisperer dude, he knows that lions are dangerous, and that it's a real possibility they could kill him one day. But he said something to the effect that he didn't care because he loved them, and it would be his fault if it happened. He recognized their moods and their body language, so he just let them be when they were upset.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/17 01:55 AM
7

Personally, I've only ever argued that people in general have the instinct to look out for themselves and theirs first and foremost, but that doesn't mean you should automatically dislike or distrust other people. What if i said "trust men that say they will stick around after sex. Sure, their instinct is to not, but people can overcome their instincts! So just trust them!" Youd tell me im an idiot for thinking that. I wouldn't, actually. I would just not assume that just because that is a suppo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/17 01:52 AM
8

Absurd statement. How so? Dogs who aren't starving won't kill and eat children. Wild animals who are treated well by humans and well fed have been known to overcome their instinct to run away from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:53 PM
2

The reason you are the way you are is because of distorted understanding of gender roles to begin with... Nah, just think there's no need for assigned gender roles. My fiance and I both make money, both take care of the home, both contribute to our relationship. And we're the happiest couple I know lol The Christian God isn't obviously masculine? Was taught in Catholic school that God is not gendered. Both father and mother in one and all that jazz.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:51 PM
8

Well BP doesn't really argue that we have no instincts lol just that women aren't terrible human beings that will destroy you 99.9999% of the time. Also, it's really not all that hard to "overcome" your instincts if you're happy and content lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:45 PM
2

Not inhuman, just don't care about gender roles lmao. Name one traditional gender role that would seriously affect me lol. And not if you believe in one God lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:41 PM
5

Uh, didn't men invent math and science and logic and all the smart things lol. Because that's how a mathematical theory works. If you can find one counter example, your theory is wrong. Similarly, if you find evidence to disprove your hypothesis, you must formulate a new one. I also fail to see anything from your rant on female solipsism, no idea where that is coming from.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:40 PM
2

Eh, hasn't really affected me or my fiance at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:36 PM
12

Or, you know, we people who discount TRP just recognize that just because you have instincts doesn't mean you can't overcome them. Like sure, maybe I do have an instinctive drive to go fuck some stranger while I'm ovulating and my fiance isn't looking, but the fact that I haven't nor have I made any attempt to shows that I still have a choice in the matter. If it makes me BP to think that humans can overcome their base instincts, so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:34 PM
1

That's precisely my view. I've argued with women about men too, so it's not like I just like to pick on men who've been hurt. I just don't want to see men or women discount each other or fail to trust each other because they've had bad experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:23 PM
3

They don't even know it's wrong, just that the argument is not necessarily 100% without holes. I mean, if your theory doesn't hold true for 100% of cases it is wrong. That's how proofs work.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:20 PM
2

I wouldn't call it intellectual laziness. I love learning plenty, I just don't believe there's any need to obsess over gender roles and how each gender's "nature" plays into day to day interactions. Most of the time, I just assume that people want to be treated the way I want to be treated, which is based on my merits not my percieved nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:19 PM
5

Well, tbf, you have a habit of making bold statements that make no sense. And then accusing people of arguing semantics when they ask you to clarify, then disagree with your clarified statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 11:15 PM
1

Tbh, I just want to convince some guys that women aren't out to get men and that romantic relationships between men and women don't have to be terrible. I talk about my fiance all the time, here, just for that reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 10:46 PM
3

Yeah this is a serious problem. As a woman you learn this fast, especially when you're eighteen and just making light conversation with some obviously socially awkward 30 y/o, and then suddenly he's trying to buy you random stuff in the store.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 07:36 PM
2

Cool, that's you dude. Not every man on earth wants to fuck every single woman. He might think about it, but he doesn't really want to act on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 03:30 PM
1

That's the disconnect. These kinds of romantic movies assume interest. Because yeah, when we were first dating, I loved when my fiance bought me flowers and walked me home and all that stuff. But if I wasn't interested and invested in him, it would be majorly creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 03:26 PM
1

It's like when guys make assumptions that the ridiculously hot girl is a slut. More often than not, probably. Always? Probably not. We make assumptions about guys with zero social skills because we're also human and use short cuts and previous experiences to get through life. Chances are that guy has never gotten laid, so he's casting a wide net and only wants to get in your pants at the end of the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 03:24 PM
2

There's so much whining about how women control men and don't let them do option 1, and yet, most men are perfectly happy to go by option 2. I'm not talking about marriage, just that most decent men want to at least get to know their kids and raise them to be decent people.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 03:18 PM
2

I think some men and women are monogamous. If you know the mating strategies of the common side-blotched lizard, that's kind of how I like to think of human sexual dynamics, only perhaps with more varied categories. That lizard has three types of males: the orange ones who desire harems, the blue ones who desire a single mate, and the yellow ones who want to mate with females already claimed by the other two types of males. What's interesting is that research showed that even though the orange m…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 03:06 PM
1

Do you ever sometimes lie to your SO? I think everyone does lie, about small things, although my fiance and I are generally very honest with each other. Like if I don't like something he cooked, I'll tell him why I don't like it, or if I ask if something makes me look good he'll tell me it does or doesn't and why. We both appreciate honesty though, and usually save white lies for friends who don't. Do you believe a 'lie of omission' is the same as lying? I think it depends on what you're omittin…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/17 12:55 AM
11

You know, I hear things like "women don't actually want to be treated like princesses", and it just doesn't line up with my experience. I love being showered by affection from my fiance, but that's because I'm in a relationship with him and return those affections. It's more that you can't do that to some random girl and expect something in return; she doesn't feel the same about you and is likely creeped out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/17 02:55 PM
2

Mmm, it would take me a lot of time to feel the same about another man as I do about my fiance though. As I said to someone else, most of the reason I value him above other men is because of all the time and experiences we've shared.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 11:29 PM
4

Yeah, I guess my thought is that, objectively, I know my fiance is not the best man in the world, that would be highly improbable. So TRP explanation of hypergamy to me doesn't really make sense. But I do value him above other men because of the time we've spent together, and the committment we share to each other, so maybe hypergamy is sort of there?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 10:32 PM
4

Hm, can't say I understand what that's like at all. I guess whenever I'm in a happy committed relationship, and especially my current one with my fiance, it's like other men fall off my radar. Can't say I believe hypergamy is a thing for me, don't know about other women, but I do know that if I wasn't happy and had a really good male friend, I'd be tempted to break up.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 10:13 PM
3

No, actually. I also have no desire for an open relationship, but I'm happy and fulfilled in my current one. As someone else put it, maybe if I wasn't happy and fulfilled I'd consider ending it with my fiance, but never cheating. I don't really fantasize at all, btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 10:03 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 09:58 PM
4

I've never been tempted to cheat. Ever. I love getting drunk as much as most people, but getting drunk isn't an excuse, you're aware of your behaviors and decisions. Btw, am woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 09:09 PM
1

Have you ever heard music that made you feel sick or angry? You may dislike or truly hate cheaters, but the concept of them is accepted to you and you'd still be friends with someone who was a cheater and you wouldn't completely ignore and hate someone for being a cheater that didn't wrong you. Nah, because I don't take lyrics too seriously. Someone is either trying to make money or tell an interesting story. And actually, I have cut people out who are serial cheaters and liars, so wrong again. …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 01:20 PM
3

I think if you build yourself up to the point where you don't think of a relationship as an end all be all, and instead see it as a nice addition to your life, you'll find the strength to look for a partner who exemplifies NAWALT. I'm a woman, but I work in a male dominated field. The men I work with who complain about their wives, who feel they have nothing in common but the kids, honestly did it to themselves. My fiance and I are deliriously happy, but we would not have settled for someone les…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 03:59 AM
3

I thought that until I saw that the phrases that get stuck in my head the hardest I also deeply resonate with. Anything catchy resonates with your beliefs on some level, that's what makes it catchy to only some people and not others. Not true at all. I hate cheaters and would never do so, but songs about cheating can still be catchy ("Girlfriend" by Michael Jackson). Most mature people can separate what they believe and the media they experience, otherwise you'd have a lot more gang violence pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/17 10:37 PM
4

Nah, it's more to do with the pattern of saying things. What makes my brain think "that's catchy" is the rhyme and meter of the song. Half the time, I'm not thinking of the meaning or feelings the words evoke, just the beat and rhythm of the words. Don't get me wrong, more pop/alt rock style songs where you can discern and understand the lyrics (think Twenty One Pilots or something) the meaning of the song can really make me feel what the artist feels and think about how I identify with it. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/17 08:58 PM
4

Lol at getting more from male friends because they're so interesting. My female friends, unlike my male friends, generally aren't afraid of having interests that don't traditionally line up with their gender. They love baking, playing video games, woodworking, sewing, creating music, animation, etc. We can talk beauty/fashion in one breath and Zelda or the economy in another. Overall, I feel more connected to my close female friends as well, just because there's no possibility of crushes and wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/17 08:47 PM
3

Nah, I just like to sing. Maybe you feel that way and genuinely pour your emotions out into every word, but if lyrics are catchy and stick in my head I'll sing along every time. Sometimes I don't even understand what it's saying until I look up the meaning later, haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/17 06:54 PM
5

Nah, I just like to sing. Maybe you feel that way and genuinely pour your emotions out into every word, but if lyrics are catchy and stick in my head I'll sing along every time. Sometimes I don't even understand what it's saying until I look up the meaning later, haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/17 05:50 PM
1

Not much better than what most people offer as evidence on here for unhappy couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/17 04:42 PM
1

I already know what porn he likes, it's actually really close to what I look like haha. He's pretty vanilla in tastes and fetishes, and he'll also send me stuff he thinks I might like.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/17 08:02 PM
1

Nah, you can always dress better, learn to game better, get better social skills and more friends, etc. Hell, isn't that the purpose of the red pill?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/17 05:02 PM
1

Well, congrats on getting a good boyfreind and potential husband, legit. So young men should spend their teen years trying to bang chicks casually to increase their chances of finding a girl who isn't yet looking for something serious? Thanks, I feel pretty lucky I get to marry him. And yeah, teens and early twenties would probably be best to find less serious partners. Most girls I knew weren't thinking too much about serious boyfriends in high school or early college, it was basically Junior y…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/17 04:57 PM
1

Well, tbf, that statistic is skewed due to people who get married/divorced several times in their lifetime. But from personal experience, most couples I know are in fact happily married. At least the ones who married for the right reasons; the only ones I know who are unhappy had very little in common with each other, or stopped trying after marriage, so their relationship got stale pretty fast. Ime, the happiest married couples could truly say they "married their best friend."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/17 04:51 PM
1

But why would women be looking for dating experience and boyfriends while they are young? Why not leave that for their mid 20s? Its so strange to me that these girls, who were surrounded by guys, would rather study and find a steady boyfriend rather than having some fun. I think I already explained this, but at least for me, the idea was that I wanted to be in a serious relationship by a certain date, so I would rather get dating experience than casual sex. But casual sex also never really appea…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/17 04:33 PM
2

Hm, so women do the majority of their slutting up from the age of 15-18 and then they dial up and pretend to be virgins or ''I am not that sort of girl'' when they reach college and want to find a husband? Lol, I think it's more that women who are looking for commitment aren't going to slut it up, they're going to be looking for boyfriends so they can get dating experience. As for your experiences with women, idk, I'm not sure why someone would do that, unless those women were her friends and sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/17 05:51 PM
3

Upvoting because this is how my fiance and I operate.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 07:30 PM
2

More or less, but I mostly only discuss with my fiance.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 07:27 PM
1

also when you were practicing drawings, I studied the blade. Lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 05:46 PM
1

Idk, I feel like I learn best from my mistakes. But I'm always wanting to improve in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 04:32 PM
1

Absolutely, never said talent doesn't exist, just that it's false to conclude that if you aren't naturally good at something you never can be. I'm an engineer, but I love art and crafty things so I said to myself I wanted to get better at drawing, sewing, and making props from video games. Years of practice and tons of youtube and online tutorials and I'd say I'm pretty decent lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 04:30 PM
3

I don't, just because there's no set mold for people. Like I could conclude that all men want to have a harem of women from comments here and in the manosphere, but I know enough men who are monogamous by nature to know that's not true. I've also met women by contrast who never want kids or to settle down, and who prefer having casual sex, even past their thirties and forties. I prefer to judge people by how they are, rather than how I expect them to be or form opinions based on a few similar pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 04:26 PM
1

Another of my goal is to be good at drawing, but I suck, it takes too much of my time, it takes too long to exercise, I've other priority. I don't have the growth mentality for that, and I've nothing to bypass this to reach my goal, not like the guitar. Drawing is probably the best example of growth mentality out there! Everyone who's kind of good at it used to suck haha, I know I look back at my old stuff and cringe. It's also about finding things you like drawing, that way it doesn't feel like…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 04:11 PM
1

The goal of this trick is to consciously be aware of your nervosity/stress/frustration, and tell to yourself "I am exited" or something of this kind. I relate to this because I've often used such thing in lot of situations. I am stressed? "Wait, I don't care.", I am frustrated? "This is yet another occasion to prove I am better", ect... I don't use nearly as often as I should, I need to achieve better mindfulness. Yeah, I'd call that part of having a growth mindset. Rather than thinking all your…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 03:38 PM
4

Lol, reading back over it, I botched my response. I should have said "I agree with self-improvement and what makes men attractive, not so much that AWALT, hypergamy, and it's just your turn"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 03:33 PM
2

Being aware of your flaws =! blaming things on them. I'm aware that I'm impatient; because of that, last night when I was playing Zelda I was failing a lot on a particular stealth quest. But I didn't say "gah, I'm just too impatient for this" and stop playing, I thought about how my impatience was hindering me, what a more patient person would do and got through it. That might not be a great analogy, but that's what I would call a growth mindset-- recognizing you have flaws, but not blaming your…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 03:19 PM
1

I mean, why though? No drama?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 03:10 PM
5

I don't really sway either side, because while I can see some good things in RP like focus on your career, focus on being in shape and healthy, etc., the parts that talk about women are false ime. There's also the fact that all the stuff about building yourself up is done with all this bitterness towards women, like "why should I have to be a developed person to have a relationship". Yesterday, someone literally told me that my fiance had to be "thin to built", and I was just thinking "yeah, lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 03:09 PM
2

I don't believe anyone is wired to learn from failure, it's really just your mindset that is the limiting factor. At work, we talk all the time about how having a growth mindset is what makes great people great, they don't get discouraged by failure, they see it as an opportunity to learn and to grow. Whereas if you believe everything in life is fixed (e.g., your intelligence, your attractiveness, your personality) you're not going anywhere. You really just have to shift from thinking "I'm good/…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 02:51 PM
4

From the arguments I've had on here, I think a lot of men use "Chad" as an excuse. I love my fiance and have sex with him 3-4 times a week even though we've been together for 5 years? He must be a Chad. Oh, you know average men who don't obsess over sex and have had more than one girlfriend? You're lying, he's a Chad. Only Chads can have a crazy amount of sex, Chads are usually attractive assholes and all women love him, etc. That kind of thinking just sets you up for failure, like you might as …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 02:48 PM
1

Boring how?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 02:40 PM
3

Imo, a high value woman is one who is largely self sufficient, attractive, takes care of her body, and has her own hobbies, interests, and friends. But as someone else said, a man's preferencrs are probably more individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 02:09 PM
1

Different priorities; if a woman wants to have a family, she needs to be married by the time she's 30, since fertility starts to drop by then and it can take up to a year to get pregnant. That usually means serious relationship by the time you're 25, at minimum, which you might have trouble with if you don't spend your college years-- where you have the most free time and single guys around-- trying to find someone. I think a good portion of if not most women either don't see the appeal of casua…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 01:13 PM
1

Well, now you're moving the goalpost, right? It went from "can't get regular sex" to "can't get enough sex with someone attractive." I mean, the issue then is just that not everyone is attractive. Sucks, but if you're low man on the totem pole, you're not gonna get sex with the best women. Just like the low women aren't going to get commitment from the best men. So you accept it, and work within your league. I'm still attracted to and have a good relationship with my fiance, so in the end it doe…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 03:47 AM
1

Ah, so you've never had casual sex or you were so emotionally interested in him that you didn't want to risk losing him by having sex with him off the bat? Both, really. Can being good in bed make up for a lack of chad looks? Idk, at this point in our relationship my attraction to him is more based on our emotional connection. But being good in bed definitely helped, good sex is pretty important to me. He does seem to have a low sex drive. Was he always like that? Yeah, actually. But it works ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 03:43 AM
1

Comfortable in what sense? Comfortable in the sense that I knew he was as serious about me as I was about him. Obviously we still did other things, I was still attracted to him, but I had heard growing up all my life that men only want one thing, so I wanted to be sure that wasn't all he wanted from me. Is he a Chad? Probably not, by your standards. But our connection is solid and he's great in bed. What?? He has a sex drive lower than yours?? How many times do you want it a week and how many ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 01:24 AM
1

Most young guys get a lot of validation, self esteem, and confidence through sex. I don't doubt that, if you've never had sex or build it up as this core of your being. But most well adjusted men have had sex at least once, realized it's great but it's not the center of their lives, and then build their identity around things like their careers, hobbies, and friends/family. Same with women and relationships-- the women who need to be in relationships constantly with just about anyone are usually…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 01:17 AM
2

Not true, many woman simply need time before they feel comforable enough to have sex with someone. I waited with my fiance, and we still have a pretty active sex life. Helps that his sex drive has always been lower than mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/17 01:03 AM
1

Attractive men are usually assholes, so I would say that the worst men are being rewarded. Well see, I don't think that's true, hence my mention of RMV earlier, which you asserted was so easy to cultivate. And by your logic, most women will marry and date their attractiveness equals or less-- since most attractive men are assholes, apparently. Even disregarding your belief, most women pair off with their equals, simply because they get a feel for what they can pull relationship-wise. It hasn't b…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 11:35 PM
2

I beg to differ. You just hear more from the unhappily married couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 11:29 PM
2

Lol, so that cuts like 70% of young men out of the equation. What a surprise the ones left are the guys who have sex on tap. Where do you get that number? Only 30% of men have self respect? And besides, not all of these men have sex on tap lol And I guarantee both the men you referenced are tall and thin to built, correct? Not really, actually. My fiance is 5'8", our friend is a little taller but not by much. Both of them are skinny programmers haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 11:29 PM
1

I would be stoked if it was raspberry filled dark chocolate, yummm. Although tbh we normally don't get each other gifts for anniversaries, just splurge a little on a date night.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 11:13 PM
1

Not so, it's easy to say and do if you have self worth that isn't defined by your sex life, and you know that being single sucks way less than being unhappily married or in a bad LTR. My fiance broke up with his previous girlfriend because he just didn't click with her, and he knew neither of them would be happy if they stayed together. He was getting sex from her, but he didn't really have the same feelings as she did. Similarly, a friend of mine broke up with his second girlfriend, because he …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 10:48 PM
3

Well, it doesn't mean that the worst men are being rewarded as you said earlier, just attractive ones. That said, I also don't think most women have ridiculously high standards; maybe what you mean is that only above average men get a lot of casual sex, which may very well be true. But the men who can't get relationships or sex have bigger problems than their SMV usually, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 10:35 PM
3

I really don't see this, just keep hearing the assertion that "lots of" women do this. I'm sure women who use sex as a tool of leverage to get what they want do that, but again, that kind of attitude likely reared its ugly head early on in the relationship (e.g., women who would only have sex with their bfs after getting what they want). Personally, I enjoy sex, I enjoy making my fiance feel good, so I see no reason to use it as a bargaining chip.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 09:52 PM
5

I specified happily married couples for a reason. The ones who complain about each other all the time or clearly harbor resentment? I guarantee those guys aren't sexing regularly. But I've seen many happy couples (even with kids!) who still have affection, respect, and trust for each other-- the ones who can spend all night talking to their wives or husbands and hardly have a negative word to say about each other. Those guys sex on the reg.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:19 PM
5

Not really, because as most people know, if you want a family you're going to have to settle down eventually, AKA cultivate your RMV. Or if you want more than just sex, and plenty of men do ime. I think a lot of people in this sub seem to think that men who are husband material get the rough end of the deal, like women all turn into horrible harpies when they get married or LTRs are shitty deals for men in general, but that doesn't really line up with my and my fiance's experience. You definitel…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:15 PM
8

But who cares? If they still have a good relationship and good sex it doesn't really matter, and if they don't, they shouldn't marry her! That's like if I got upset because my fiance had to put up with a lot more drama with his previous girlfriends and willingly did it for the sex, then had no tolerance for it in our relationship. Or if he waited longer to officially LTR me because of a bad experience with a past girlfriend. People change, their priorities change and are informed by their experi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:09 PM
1

I just wonder why it does, though. Were you living together before you were married? If not, it's probably that you have now gone from living alone to living with a partner, which is definitely a big change. Or are you the kind of person whose attitude changes when you hear "wife" versus "long time girlfriend"? Because admittedly, the US culture and many other cultures do usually take married relationships more seriously than committed (3+ yr) LTRs, even though I've seen people more committed to…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 07:01 PM
6

I mean, or women wait because we're not sure if having sex too quickly will make him think less of us. I believe that's why the common advice of waiting to have sex comes from. If a woman just wants a dude for sex, no need to care what he thinks about her. All that said, I personally never engaged in casual sex, but I waited a bit with my fiance because I wanted to feel comfortable with him and feel like if I had sex with him he wouldn't just hit it and quit it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 04:41 PM
16

Yeah but as someone else said marriage =! dead beadroom. Most happily married couples have a good sex life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 04:36 PM
2

I don't really want to be thought of as "just" cute, either, but I can be sexy when I want to. Maybe one of the reasons men love cuteness is that they're hoping you'll only be sexy for them, whereas a sexy profile pic or persona could show you're more sexually open and promiscuous. Nothing wrong with wanting to be sexy, imo, but I'm thinking maybe men see it as more of a risk to LTR a sexy woman over a cute one because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/17 12:07 AM
5

Do you mean physical cuteness or attitudes? I thought there was that whole neoteny thing, where cuter women are more fertile and young or something. Anyhow, I know my fiance loves that I'm cute, I think it's a preference thing, YMMV. But I also don't really try to be cute, which is I think what you're describing when you say it's inauthentic. I just happen to have small features (small nose, small hands and fingers) and so he finds a lot of things I do cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 10:54 PM
1

I think the point they were trying to make was that your typical gangbanger would be high value to women in his social circle. I consider my fiance high value because I value things like drive, honest jobs, and some introversion.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 10:23 PM
2

Yes! That's exactly why we haven't gotten married yet, it makes no financial sense to have a wedding early in our careers, when our money could be going to establishing ourselves and paying off our debts. I've told some of my older, married friends that and they still don't get it haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 06:34 PM
7

Not Atlas, but nah. Especially when all of these women who comment also have social circles where the kinds of behavior and experiences you describe don't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 03:04 PM
6

From what I've read here and seen in life, most dateable men and women pair off young. They meet each other in college or they quickly meet someone who realizes what a catch they are and locks that shit down. From this trend, the highest SMV and RMV men and women will be married before 30, sometimes even earlier depending on if or when they want kids. I think the theory that after 30 the quality of women drops is somewhat true, just because the best women are off the market by then.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 02:59 PM
1

Yeah, this is exactly how I feel lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 02:45 PM
4

After five years of having sex with my fiance, I still get really turned on by the idea of him. If I fantasize about anything at all, it's the hottest time we did it (in recent memory).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 05:38 AM
2

I don't have a backup plan. I don't think you can be fully committed to someone unless you don't see your relationship ending (no need for back up plan if you never break up). It does mean that besides committing to my fiance I've committed to being heartbroken if he left, but that's a risk I'm willing to take for the happiness we have now.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 05:32 AM
4

I mean, do you have to be married to feel all those things, though? Even though I'm about to get married to my longtime boyfriend (now fiance) of 5 years, I don't think it will feel any differently. The only reason we want to get married is for the tax benefits, but we're already living together, trusting each other absolutely, have pets together, and basically acting as a single unit. I think the only major change to our relationship will happen when we have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 05:25 AM
3

Definitely true. I like to think of myself as an honest person, not the kind of person who would risk hurting their long term partner for some short term fling and then lie about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/17 01:58 PM
1

If there were no repercussions, most people would be down to sleep with anyone. One of the many reasons I don't want to is because it would hurt my fiance, and I know he feels the same about me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/17 01:54 AM
1

I mean, whichever partner makes less could potentially divorce rape, no? My fiance could divorce me after we get married and he'd get alimony just based on our income differences. I don't expect him to, because I'd like to think I know him better than that, but it's a risk you take.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 11:26 PM
2

I think it applies to men and women who are monogamous. Imo, if you're seeking extramarital affairs, you're either unhappy, unfulfilled, or lying to yourself that monogamy is your thing. We're not lizards, but if you've heard of the common side-blotched lizard's 3 mating strategies, that's how I think of human sexuality. Basically that species has 3 types of males-- the orange one that forms a harem of females, the blue one that mates with a single female, and the yellow one that sneakily tries …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 11:10 PM
3

I think what future_space_boobs said applies to your statement as well. In that, generally, if you're happy and satisfied in a relationship, you're not going to seek stuff out. I've said many times here that I'm happy with my fiance, but it becomes most clear to me when I recieve attention from other men. When men flirt with me, I feel very uncomfortable. If it happens with someone I spend a lot of time with (i.e., a coworker) I immediately tell my fiance and try to minimize contact. If I'm out …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 06:02 PM
5

I mean, yes, no one is perfect. It's about finding someone whose imperfections you can deal with. Both of us are somewhat introverted, in that we get socially exhausted from time to time, we're pretty active in our sex life, and savers rather than spenders. You just have to find someone who's compatible with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 02:02 AM
3

Sure, but I consider him my best friend. And honestly, I think the best relationships are ones founded on friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 12:32 AM
5

Lol... they also can't talk, or you know, provide more social interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 12:20 AM
5

Meh, I don't think I would trade my fiance for a dog. Sure there's a lot of risk involved, but my life is much happier with him in it. And as I said, we're looking to be homeowners, which is almost unheard of for twenty somethings nowadays.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 12:16 AM
2

Then find a girl who doesn't spend every penny. Both my fiance and I carefully consider every single purchase we make.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/17 12:14 AM
1

That's true, the internet does give more of an outlet for those who didn't succeed. Still, kinda supports the theory that there aren't more, just more vocal aspies.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 10:08 PM
1

Lol, I approached my fiance back when we first started dating, but we knew each other through mutual friends. I don't really go to nightclubs so I wouldn't know about the culture there, but it sounds like you have quite the chip on your shoulder.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 10:06 PM
9

They don't really add all that much and have the potential to subtract greatly I think this largely depends on the kind of person you're with. Dual income and companionship add quite a bit to mine. The only way I could see it subtracting from my life is if we split, but I don't see that happening any time soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 10:04 PM
3

I'm not really RP, but I think relationships are worth it. If only because you get a partner who has your back in life. My fiance and I are miles ahead of our single peers simply because we have a double income. So we can afford to save up for big purchases more easily, worry less about being out of a job or sick, and support each other through tough times. But, you do have to take care that you choose someone who adds far more to your life than they subtract. As for when you should get one, it …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 10:02 PM
1

How about casual sex? That's what I'm looking for. I don't have much patience for relationships. Everytime a chick starts being emotionally intrusive I disappear for weeks. I don't want to deal with anything of that sort of thing. I just want to have fun. Then stop wasting your energy complaining about how you have it so bad and go ask girls out. Even average looking guys can get casual sex, they're just not so concerned about how they get less than some better looking guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 05:39 PM
1

That's the thing, though, I don't think there were as many non-successes... my dad still has no friends and has problems forming relationships, but he basically put on a mask because of how mistreated he was in his childhood for his lack of social skills. I think this is what used to happen to aspies, they had it beaten out of them essentially. Not saying it's right, but that might be why we see a lot more today.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 05:34 PM
2

Relationships don't mean much. Most men can get relationships. Women lower their physical standards when they want a boyfriend. But those guys aren't getting laid. They're putting up with a woman, dealing with her drama, problems, needs and they can't sleep with another girl while being in a relationship. Yeah, they get sex. Do they get anal sex? Do they get threesomes? Do women fuck them 2 times a day every week? Again, you must be trolling. First off, not every man or woman wants to engage in …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 05:30 PM
2

As I said in my comment, normal behavior was almost beaten into him. Culturally, people were a lot less accepting of aspie type behavior, so he was acutely aware that he needed to change. People would make fun of him, teachers told him directly he was weird, etc. He talks about how he had to put on a mask, and you can definitely tell because when he talks to others vs us (his close family) he sounds and acts completely different. Again, I don't think this is the right way to handle it, my dad ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 05:20 PM
2

Did you have casual sex with him first or did you guys built the relationship from the ground up over the course of months? Built our relationship up, but neither of us were interested in casual sex. Not sure what your obsession with being able to have sex with strangers is. With this: Every man is a loser until women deem him good enough for casual sex. You must be trolling.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/17 05:11 PM
6

I think the latter is true. Back in the day, if you were autistic, you were probably just hidden or had it beaten out of you. My dad showed a lot of signs of aspergers (not making eye contact, unable to read social cues, emotional outbursts, etc.) but he talks all the time about how his teachers told him "if you don't make eye contact, everyone is going to think you're a freak" or how his mom or dad beat him when he did something weird, kids would point and laugh at any mistakes he made. Not say…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 08:22 PM
1

It's honestly one of the things that drew me to my fiance, he's so silly and unabashedly himself. He loves to make people laugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 07:23 PM
1

I guess it depends on whether or not you're happy that way. IME, being happy with who you are and where you're going in life is very attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 07:14 PM
1

Was this the same guy who discovered that contempt/resentment was the #1 indicator of a failing relationship? Yeah, and I'd have to agree, for long term relationships at least. I've predicted breakups of 4-6 year relationships before just from watching how a couple interacts with each other. Solid answer, though I wonder just how imperfect we are allowed to be. Ideally, you should find someone who either doesn't mind your imperfections or can't see them. I believe there's a good quote about love…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 07:11 PM
1

I don't think it means you have to be stoic and composed, just think about who you are 90% of the time with your friends. Are you brooding and angry? No, most of the time you're going to be joking around and feeling comfortable enough to let your best traits shine. That's what most people mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 05:34 PM
2

Not really. If a man like that is socially awkward, he won't get laid. We care a lot more about how men present themselves than you might think. My fiance is of average height, no muscle definition to speak of, and I'm still attracted to him. Because he dresses well, has good facial symmetry, and knows how to carry a conversation with people he just met, as well as a ton of other things about his personality that I love. I think what Atlas means is that a successful person is one who knows they …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 05:31 PM
1

What are Chad looks? I guarantee there are non chads in relationships and getting laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 05:24 PM
1

I think that mentality is what holds you back. Why do you think you're a loser? If your face has good symmetry, you take care of your body, and you have friends, then someone will find you attractive. If you have none of the above, you have two things you can work on a) taking better care of your body and b) making friends. Starting a relationship just boils down to inspiring a deeper connection than friendship, so if people already like your personality, someone who's attracted to you will as w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 05:18 PM
2

One of the things I think most people don't realize about a good relationship with someone is that it's not about being perfect for each other all the time. It's about having many more good than bad things to say about each other, and acting with love in your heart. I love my fiance, and he loves me. But we still get on each other's nerves sometimes, because we both have flaws. Yet if we have disagreements, which are few and far between, neither of us raises our voices or calls each other names.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 05:12 PM
3

I think the above is a valid question haha. There are just some things you don't want to do, ever. No amount of love from your partner can change your mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 04:55 PM
2

Tbh I've never considered anal or butt stuff (rim jobs, for instance), it's gross. Same with my fiance, he can't imagine why anyone would like that. So at this point in our relationship, if he suddenly wanted it, I'd say no. But you're right in that because he's a loving partner, I've been willing to try things with him that I wasn't too thrilled about. However, he's never pushed me to keep doing some of those things if it wasn't for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 04:54 PM
2

Nah I'm just confused by your statement that men's love is somehow holding women back. My fiance loves that I'm working and accessing my true potential lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 07:23 AM
5

Nah, butt stuff is off limits. It grosses me out. I'm incredibly attracted to my fiance, but if he suddenly wanted anal I'd have to decline.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 04:00 AM
5

Lol what
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 04:00 AM
5

I'm not into anal sex with anyone. Luckily, neither is my fiance lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/17 03:55 AM
1

Nah, there's definitely less stigma around it. My mom and her girlfriends are super sexually conservative, like a blow job is dirty kind of conservative. And I was more making the point that older women haven't really been exposed to mainstream erotica at all. 50 shades made it acceptable to read and talk about sexy literature in public. Not saying it's a great book by any means, but it at least "saved my aunt's marriage". You ever hog tie each other or use gags? Hog tie, yes, gags, no. We mostl…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 10:55 PM
3

I largely agree with this-- I lean BP since my fiance and I don't really have defined roles in our relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 10:46 PM
1

Lmao that's not from GMO, they grow those watermelons in a mold in Japan 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 10:35 PM
3

I think it's just getting more acceptable to be into light BDSM with the lessening stigma around sex in general (read: for women). My aunt thought 50 shades of grey was some pinnacle of erotica because she was so sexually sheltered most of her life, and I've heard similar sentiments from other older women. "This book is so kinky!" or stuff like that. By comparison, fiance and I try everything together that we read about online and sounds like fun, lol. We've swapped sub/dom roles, bought toys an…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 10:28 PM
3

Maybe I don't watch enough of the media, but I have never seen anything that sexes up adultery from either sex. It's always painted as a bad thing-- unless it's a ridiculous romcom where the main guy meets a new girl who he's just head over heels for but he has to ditch his long term girlfriend to do it. Even then, because of how most people feel about cheaters, he's painted in a sympathetic light-- his wife, girlfriend, etc. is an unfunded, frigid bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 01:29 PM
3

My point is the removal of welfare wouldn't suddenly make rich men do that, and those daughters have agency of their own. So I don't buy that removing welfare would somehow propel us all back towards traditional dating and marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 01:23 PM
1

What's a masculine hobby, exactly? And why is it so bad if a woman pursues it?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 06:52 AM
1

Nah, I work with all intellectual men and women in my field. Most of us are happy because we're making big $$ and get to use our brains at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 06:51 AM
1

I'd agree that attractive people do generally have it easier. It's just a fact that we are hard-wired to think of attractive people as more trustworthy, more competent, etc. That said, if they're completely incapable or unfit for their position, I doubt they'd be there long.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 06:30 AM
3

I think she means that men are generally always willing and ready to go, whereas women need a little more coaxing before they're fully turned on.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 06:27 AM
6

But removal of welfare wouldn't affect wealthy families, just poor ones. So why would a wealthy man suddenly start selling his daughters because welfare was gone? Also, removing welfare doesn't stop women from working if they want to or need to.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 06:23 AM
1

Yes, exactly-- without respect, you won't have a very good relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/17 05:46 AM
2

Most true players have low standards, right? They're usually hitting up as many women as they can a night so they can take home at least one.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 11:52 PM
3

Its difficult to respect a woman for masculine traits unless she's truly superior to the man in that way. See that I'd find pretty problematic. Putting aside that you view intelligence and a career as masculine traits, most men I know (including my fiance) do respect other men and women for their intelligence and career regardless of how intelligent or successful they are compared to other people. I mean, on average people who you meet and are friends with are not going to be in the top echelon …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 11:36 PM
5

Which is stupid because those things are not worthless which is why they're sought out. Yeah I mean people aren't rational usually, but most people want to feel like they're worth more to someone than their money or looks. What if I said I respect you for your beauty and motherliness and not for your intellect and other achievements? I mean, it depends on how you phrase that, yeah? If you're straight up saying you wouldn't respect me for pursuing a career and being intelligent, that's kind of we…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 09:55 PM
8

Nah, valuing me only for looks and motherliness would be condescending. Because it's like that's all I'm good for. If you tell me you think I look pretty today, I won't bite your head off. But if you tell me I should just "stand there and look pretty", that's condescending. As for men, ime most do want to be a provider and protect their loved ones. They just don't want to be seen as only a provider/defender, because that makes them feel worthless as a person. Case in point, the fear about being …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 09:18 PM
5

I'm a female engineer. If you're defining femininity as dressing like a woman and wanting kids, we have about a 90% representation of intelligent, feminine women in my workplace. As someone else said in the comment chain, not embracing femininity is socially stupid; especially if you're not aiming to be spouse and child free. That doesn't mean I want to be housewife or anything, but I'm perfectly happy dressing up occasionally and accepting compliments on my looks. What I don't want, and what I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 08:49 PM
5

I find the opposite to be true. This hurts an average person to hear; but strength, beauty, and intelligence aren't mutually exclusive and often go hand in hand. The jock v nerd worldview is fallacy. The world is unjust like that. Agreed, I've met less than average women who pursued fashion degrees and drop dead gorgeous female engineers. Some of the engineers are mothers, too, and they're no less intelligent than their childless counterparts. Being feminine or masculine and intelligent aren't m…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 08:42 PM
2

Yeah, exactly. I'm kind of resistant to the idea of being a SAHM because of my experience with it, but I know if I were to be one I'd want to focus more on my children and making my husband's life easier than my mom did lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 05:21 PM
8

You know, in some ways I agree, because my SAHM was lazy and watched TV or played Facebook games most of the time she was home. For her, it was clearly just an excuse to not do anything. However, if you have a SAHW who is all about being the administrator in yall's lives, as in taking care of housework, kids, cars, and other odds and ends of keeping a functional home while also pursuing self growth through hobbies and other activities-- power to her! I think men just need to be careful of choosi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 03:52 PM
3

Based on your caricature of "strong independent women", no. But most actually strong and independent women don't go around with a chip on their shoulder, they just know their own worth, are resourceful and mentally strong, and add to their man's life instead of taking from it. Note, I didn't mention anything about career; you can be a SAHM and still be an SIW imo, just as you can be a career woman and be mentally weak (which is what you described). I'd consider myself a SIW in that I'm not insec…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 03:37 PM
1

Nah, they're just idealizing some girl they don't actually know in that case.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/17 12:38 AM
1

Lol why the quotes? Cause we're not totally undateable? Don't have to be ugly or have an unattractive personality to be a gamer. Most gamers I know who are single are so because they've got other problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 11:30 PM
1

Usually they're with gamer guys tho. Case in point, am engaged to gamer guy, who I met through other gaming friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 10:21 PM
1

It definitely isn't. From what some RP men have said here, a hole is a hole if you need it badly enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 10:13 PM
1

Not sure if I understand your comment, but yeah the point is that I want certain qualities in men, which I've gotten with my fiance. Other women might not care as much about those qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 10:12 PM
2

Well he's saying that hookups at dnd sessions and smash groups literally never happen in some of his comments higher in the chain. If you're in close quarters with a bunch of single people spending hours over a relatively social hobby, chances are you'll meet someone there. Not saying gamer girls won't be able to date outside that group, but I know for me personally it was very important to me that my fiance loved games as much as I do. You also find that "conventionally attractive" doesn't nece…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 08:21 PM
2

Even if a woman does not want a ONS right here and now, she is still sexually attracted to him, which is sufficient for my argument to hold true. By that logic, all attractive women are players because most men are attracted to them. Exactly. Attractive women have enormous power in the SMP How is this not agreeing that attractive women are players? Besides, if a guy isn't attracted to a woman he's gaming, but he just wants to get laid, does that mean he's not a player per this statement: Another…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 08:12 PM
2

You can if they're also into those things. Fiance and I wooed each other with our knowledge about different games and comics lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 08:04 PM
3

So... attractive gamer girl will likely end up with attractive gamer guy. You've got OP up there arguing that no gamer guys get laid, but you don't have to be disgusting and completely undateable to be a gamer.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 08:03 PM
3

Lol please, my dnd group was full of guys who'd had plenty.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 08:02 PM
2

But if they don't use it how are they players? Gotta play the game to be a player
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 07:18 PM
6

Ok, tell that to the less than conventionally attractive guys slaying pussy on dnd night.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 07:18 PM
5

What? Lol the point is that if you're in these circles you could get laid... by women also in those circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 07:01 PM
3

Lol, the amount of LTRs and casual encounters in these circles makes me disagree. Plus, obligatory am woman, am attracted to video game nerd because I also am one.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 04:53 PM
5

Lol what. By that logic, all attractive women are players because most men are attracted to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 04:16 PM
5

Lol, how is it virtue signaling? Because I'm expressing a difference in tastes? I'm not saying it's wrong to like arrogance, just that it's not how I roll.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 04:13 PM
7

Your personality, mostly. I don't know about all women, but I know for me and my friends, first impressions matter a lot. You could be the most attractive person on earth, but the next 10 words out of your mouth can make or break my impression of you. Are you an asshole? Too arrogant for me? Do you treat other people like they only exist to benefit you? Different women have different priorites, though, ime. I place a huge importance on conscientiousness and humility, for instance. Others might b…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 04:06 PM
7

Why? He's right. The competitive smash brothers group in my area is a good example of this effect. You could call some of the guys players with how many women in that group they were able to sleep with. But these same guys are not nearly as successful outside of that group. Similarly, I'm not really into sports. So if a guy watched a lot of sports or got hyped about it, I wasn't really interested in him because we didn't connect. But my fiance was able to charm my pants right off because we were…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/17 03:58 PM
2

In my age group, I'd say the number who only date or marry for sex is fairly small, as in <10%. People younger than 30 nowadays are cohabiting and/or engaging in premarital sex with a long term or casual partner, so that's not a reason for marriage or dating. And most men I know are dating their SO's because they genuinely enjoy their company and get regular sex, not just the latter. IME, the only reason my fiance and I are marrying is for the social recognition of our relationship and the tax b…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/17 10:45 PM
1

Anyone playing breath of the wild??
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/17 07:04 PM
2

I mean, not saying don't have some self respect either, but ideally your woman is making plans on her own, too. The ideal is you both live separate lives but on average enjoy each other's company more than other people. Plus, not to nitpick, but the original comment made it sound like it was framed as I described.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/17 12:17 AM
1

Well, tbf that 50% divorce rate is for sure skewed by serial monogamy. For example, I'm getting married. That's one marriage. My friend recently remarried after divorcing her first partner, that's 2 marriages, 1 divorce (and there's already trouble in paradise from what she tells me, so likely she will divorce again). And I have another friend who was married and divorced once. Already, that's 4 marriages, potentially 3 divorces if my friend and her new husband don't work out. Technically a 75% …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/17 11:09 PM
2

I think part of the problem is yall assume all women are gonna pull stupid stunts like that. Personally, I've never told my fiance "no you can't go out with your friends." He'll usually tell me he's making plans with his friends sometime in the week, so that I can then go and make plans with my friends. Or we'll just all hangout together since our friend groups mesh pretty well.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/17 10:50 PM
1

I got a zero... do I win? In all seriousness, I know my relationship is healthy. We're generally pretty loving and considerate of each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/17 05:17 PM
2

Eh, if it hasn't happened yet, I doubt it will. Most couples actually break up after 4 years of marriage. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-there-a-biological-basis-for-the-7-year-itch/
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/17 02:27 AM
2

5 years in, so I guess we'll see in two! Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/17 12:43 AM
2

I was calling it that to try to describe how men and women should see each other as equals in contribution, respect, and attachment to each other. Sometimes, they're not actually equal. What's important is that it feels equal, as you said. Humans are just wired to feel like they should get what they give and recieve what others recieve for the same effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 10:39 PM
3

Nah, we were together before I started making the big bucks. As it is, I see it more as "our" money anyhow, since we're a team.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 10:18 PM
2

Eh, I don't think a man her equal would get "destroyed." One who is lesser, yeah. I'm saying that being an equal just means you respect each other, you feel that you're both contributing what you should to the relationship, and you see each other in a generally positive light. If you don't respect each other or contribute unequally (in each others' eyes) it's a recipe for disaster. You might think you're contributing less, but whatever things you do might just count for more than the little thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 10:17 PM
4

Mmm I don't think that's the case. A good recipe for resentment is feeling unequal to your partner, whether that they aren't contributing enough or aren't paying you as much attention as you do to them. Fiance and I contribute equally to our household and try to make each other feel loved and appreciated as often as we can.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 09:09 PM
5

What kind of benefit would workplace sexism give me? Are you saying I'm not treated based on my merits just because I'm a woman? Pfft. Unless you're an engineer, too, I don't think you know what you're talking about. Maybe in other fields women get some kind of benefit for their gender, but my role is hugely based on how much I know and how I can apply it. Men and women who can't do that effectively get fired, men and women who exceed expectations get rewarded.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 09:03 PM
2

Lol, I was talking about what each of us prefers to do. I prefer laundry over cooking, he prefers cooking over laundry, it's win win. I just meant that a modern relationship means that neither men nor women are expected to do something, which I think is better for both parties. Example, I make more money than my fiance and plan to work even after we have kids. That takes a lot of pressure off of him to plan for being the sole breadwinner as was the past expectation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 09:00 PM
4

They can. As an engineer, my workplace is full of competent and incompetent men and women. Some men are lazy and on the verge of being fired, some women are working their asses off and getting promoted early and vice versa. It just depends on people's drive, resourcefullness, and critical thinking skills ime. As to your ideal world, despite being a "high powered career woman," I still enjoy my fiance's company lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 06:36 PM
4

I don't know how to cook well, but my fiance does and loves to. Just like he hates doing laundry, so I do that for us. I think modern relationships are just moving towards "let's make up for each other's shortcomings" instead of "I am man, I do x, you are woman, you do y".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 06:30 PM
5

That sounds awesome. To add to it, I've found that men and women who are socioeconomic equals (that is to say, both working and contributing to a household equally) are a lot happier in a relationship. Because no one feels resentment for taking care of the other, and their relationship is naturally based more on personal compatibility than "I give you sex, you give me money".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 04:37 PM
3

Or just that we had different experiences, dude. Sounds like you dealt with abuse and a dysfunctional relationship between your parents, which is terrible; no one should have to go through that. My dad was probably a PUA back in the day, from how he spoke about women and sex to his daughters and wife. So he was just kind of a dick. I didn't let whatever my dad did carry over into my relationships, though, just let it fuel my drive to do well in my career and be financially independent. Fiance an…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 04:27 PM
4

Meh, I wouldn't call it a chip on my shoulder, that makes it seem like it affected me more than realizing "my dad is kind of a dick, I'd rather not hang out with him."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 03:32 PM
7

I think the idea is to expose women more to it. I only knew that engineering was a field I could go into because my aunt was an engineer, and I looked more into it and ended up loving it. If she hadn't been one, I probably wouldn't have been encouraged to go for it (both parents didn't know about it either, and discouraged me from it). So now I volunteer a lot of my time just telling young girls about engineering.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 02:52 PM
3

What? My parents didn't divorce or anything, he could see us plenty. Not that he spent any time with us, he'd rather hole himself up in his office.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 02:31 PM
1

It is. Although, I'd say it's likely skewed by the type of women who push for marriage early and hard. The type who want a wedding more than a relationship and will break up if it doesn't happen. Fiance and I have both wanted to get married for a while now, we were just waiting to get our finances in order.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/17 02:30 PM
1

Yeah, that's how my fiance and I do it. We've had a joint account for almost two years now, since we started living together, and it works well for us. We budget and plan for large expenses, and we generally don't monitor each other's spending all that closely. We each keep a personal account for "fun money" we've decided on. But we're also both huge savers and meticulously plan our own individual purchases. I'm not sure this kind of dynamic works for couples where one person is a spendthrift.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 07:36 PM
1

Still no. I meant that I'd hate to be so powerless and financially dependent on someone. That said, I make more than my fiance and we share almost all of our money. It probably just depends on your relationship dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 07:31 PM
2

Yeah, I think in my case it didn't help that my mom generally struggles in all areas of life outside of social dramas and clothes shopping. She doesn't know how to do anything related to financially running a household, lacks basic knowledge in most subjects, and relies on my dad for almost everything. Cue resentment, fights, and my mom behaving like a spoiled child while my dad treats her like one. I would hate to feel so powerless in my own life, which is why I'm a career-focused engineer lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 07:26 PM
8

problems in their relationships specifically because the guy was not independent enough. IME, independence in a relationship is more important than dominance. Independence just says he still has his own life beyond her, whereas dominance is more related to his social presence. Short-term, dominance can attract, because it gives an illusion of independence. My personality is more dominant than my fiance's. I can be argumentative, don't shy from conflict, and make new friends more easily than he. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 03:54 PM
7

I'd rather make that kind of money. I grew up with a stay at home mom, and it always bothered me that she would get an allowance from my dad like some kind of child.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 02:11 PM
4

Lol, cute girl in early 20s here. Engaged to skinny dude because I dig sleek swimmer bods and low body fat xD
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 05:35 AM
1

Ah yeah, that is a big one. Definitely the best sex we have is where it's clear he wants me haha
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/17 03:55 AM
3

Never been called a dead fish/starfish before, but have been told by my fiance that I "get really into it" and it turns him on in turn. I do know what keeps me interested in sexing him several times a week are (in order of importance): I have a high sex drive and a healthy view of sex I know that he cares about me and our relationship based on how we are outside of sex he wants to make me feel good and thinks it's hot when I do, so I like to return the favor he learned how to dirty talk with the…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 08:53 PM
1

Female, no. But I also don't think my relationship will end any time soon. I think people who do this aren't invested in their current partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 02:08 PM
2

What if he goes bad and is a rapist? Maybe my definition of friends is different, but generally I don't consider a man a friend unless I know him pretty well. So I don't worry about him "going bad", I'm more worried and wary of new men I meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/17 01:58 PM
5

As others have said, most of us women don't think men and women are 100% the same. Just that the supposed traits of "female nature" (which are all negative) are really just... part of human nature. Shitty human nature, for sure, but nonetheless both genders can be shitty.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 11:36 PM
2

I highly doubt that. Most of my friends are male, simply because I work in a male dominated field and got a male dominated degree. Even when I was single, I wasn't looking at them as potential partners. As a soon to be married woman, even less so. what your genes are like...Remember, you're stronger and faster, and they know that. Not really sure what you mean by this... women are acutely aware that most men are stronger/bigger than we are, it's not really an evaluation of their genes so much as…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 11:18 PM
2

I mean... I wouldn't say that. What if your SO is your best friend and vice versa? Who's more masculine/feminine or are you both of ambiguous gender definition?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 11:09 PM
2

I mean, ideally dating leads to a relationship for most women, no? When we were first dating, I didn't care whether or not he had other girls as options, just that he wasn't treating every girl he knew like he could potentially date them. Like I was just what he could get at the time. He treated me like he only wanted to date me, which is what I was referring to above. Guys who want to date just anyone are pretty transparent, imo. They'll try to win you over with "girl" things but are clearly no…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 08:15 PM
2

Its about whether the guy makes her feel special because he chose her. Not whether or not he is a fun guy who treats her well. It's more important he has options. I never said that... my main point was that we don't want to feel interchangeable. So yeah, I do love my boyfriend and frequently make love to him because of how he treats me and makes me feel, but what fuels those feelings is knowing that he loves me for who I am. For example, if I mention liking something or point something out to hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/17 04:54 PM
1

A marriage is a relationship acknowledged by the government. So what makes a happy relationship will make a happy marriage. Boyfriend and I are marrying in a year, we're currently happy, and I highly doubt anything will change just because we'll have rings on our fingers and government support of our union. Though I've seen a lot of men and women enter marriage without realizing that any unhappiness or incompatibility they have outside of marriage won't be magically fixed by signing their marria…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/17 03:26 PM
1

I didn't say 50% of women feel that way, just that 50% of relationships are expected to fail by one or both parties. If you go in a relationship expecting that your partner will cheat, leave you, or otherwise hurt you, yeah you're not going to have a happy relationship. But I've been with my boyfriend 5 years, never have I had a desire to cheat or looked at another guy and thought "if boyfriend breaks up with me or vice versa, we should go out." Because I don't expect our relationship to fail, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/17 06:52 PM
5

It's not status necessarily, it's just that no woman wants to be just a warm hole. We want to be chosen, since that makes us feel like we're worth more than our looks and gender. Which I'd guess is what men want, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/17 05:43 AM
1

And 50% of couples stay married, 50% of unmarried breakups are initiated by men. I honestly don't know why more divorces are initiated by women, but I don't think it supports the view that women are "fundamentally faithless". The source you linked also talks about how keeping other people on the backburner means assuming your current relationship is going to fail, so it's reasonable to assume that only 50% of relationships include this sort of behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/17 04:39 AM
2

My job involves a lot of communication across different groups because I lead a lot of projects where I need to request actions from other engineers at or above my level. So I often see that male (and female!) coworkers treat me differently depending on how I'm dressed and how I present myself. It's not as bad as what you're saying, but it's crazy how much of a difference it makes imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 02:00 AM
3

Ditto but for a man! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/17 01:48 AM
2

I still believe society values flirty feminine women in contexts that don't require flirtiness or femininity. Yes, a thousand times. I'm a female engineer, and it's ridiculous how much better traditionally feminine women do in my field than not. Because if you're dolled up, chatty, and giggly, chances are your male coworkers are going to listen more to what you say and drop everything to help you out. I mean they say you catch more flies with honey, but I think it's especially true for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 09:46 PM
1

Mm, I dunno about fundamentally. I think when men and women who are monogamous are in good, healthy relationships, they're pretty loyal. IME, the only people I've known to cheat were either a) fooling themselves into thinking they were into long term relationships or b) not satisfied with their current relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 09:30 PM
1

Mm, usually we just end up cuddling if we have nowhere to be. Sometimes I'll get home after he does, and he'll be sitting on the couch watching something or playing something, so I'll go join him. He'll pause it so we can talk about our day, then either he'll wrap his arm around me or I'll lay on his shoulder while doing whatever it was he was doing before I got home. Usually he'll also kiss my cheek a few times. If I get home first, the reverse happens lol Idk, we're just both big cuddle bugs h…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 09:27 PM
2

Yeah, that is what I'm most worried about. When he left for a business trip, I couldn't stop thinking about "what if his plane crashes or he gets into an accident, and I'm all the way over here". I can hardly watch movies where the main character's SO dies without bawling my eyes out because it reminds me that he might die before I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 12:34 PM
1

Thanks, we generally are fair to each other. I think it just comes with being with someone for a while and realizing that the mature, adult way (and drama free, too!) to handle communicating with your SO is to be honest and open about your feelings, values, and goals in life. I still have a lot of female friends who aren't there yet, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 02:44 AM
2

Do you worry more about him not being man enough for you or about him possibly leaving? Neither.... I just try to make him happy and he returns the favor. We spend a lot of nights cuddling on the couch watching movies, kiss and hug each other goodbye in the mornings, and generally try to make each other feel loved and cared for. My love language is touch, too, so as long as I get plenty of cuddles and the occasional sexy time I'm pretty happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/17 02:38 AM
2

Thanks! We're planning to get married in a year or two, whenever we can afford it, so I hope it does, too! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 07:35 PM
3

We've been living together for about 2 years now. I said this in an earlier comment, but maybe part of the reason I think the way I do is because I remember hearing a quote to the effect of "if you treat your boyfriend like a husband he'll treat you like a wife." So I just always went in thinking we should make each other's lives better rather than try to compete over who can do less for the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 05:45 PM
4

The way I vet guys is by observing how he treats people and how he is with his friends and family. It can be very telling what a man will say to one person and not another, or how he will act towards a total stranger vs a friend. Tbh, the only thing I care about in our relationship is that we have mutual trust, respect, and are honest with each other; maybe because I'm low maintenance he's happy to do extra things for me like buy me flowers on valentines and our anniversary without me asking. He…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 05:18 PM
2

All of your examples don't fit my interactions with my boyfriend... we just do nice things for each other without expecting reciprocation and then later are happy that there was reciprocation. I'll make him coffee and breakfast in the morning sometimes, then I'll come home to dinner on the table. It's just a give and take in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 05:12 PM
4

Lol, these sound like something a girl with too much time on her hands would say. Seriously, boyfriend and I will schedule plans separately and notify each other so that we know when to make plans to have a night in or go out together. Like adults. The only one on that list I might've said to him was commenting that someone is attractive. But he does it too lol we love checking out people together.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 05:08 PM
2

Idk, boyfriend and I just do things for each other without expecting reciprocation and end up reciprocating. For instance, he always asks me if I want anything when he gets up, so I'll ask him when I get up next time. He gets me flowers or silly things like a "get well soon" balloon when I'm stressed or sick, so I'll get him flowers when he comes home from a long business trip or make him waffles before I leave in the morning. The idea is we're always thinking about making each other's lives hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 05:01 PM
3

Boyfriend actually takes my purse when he sees me struggling. He wants to help me carry things because it makes my life easier. Similarly, if I see him struggling with bags from the groceries on his way out of the car, I'll come out and help him.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 04:54 PM
5

The thing about arguing with your SO is that making it about who's wrong and who's right is a good way to build distance between you. Boyfriend and I rarely fight. If we do, we approach it as a team and ask ourselves what happened, what do I feel, why do I feel that way and then express that to each other to try to fix it. We also give each other the benefit of the doubt. I know he's generally aware of my feelings and wouldn't actively try to hurt me, so I don't approach conflict with the mindse…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 04:51 PM
4

Boyfriend and I always hold each other's things when one of us go to the bathroom and asks. Why? Because we don't want to get gross bathroom germs on our stuff and we gladly do small favors for each other. If I get up, he might ask me if I can get a drink for him or vice versa. I've also never asked him why he doesn't do stuff that other guys do for their SO's because I don't expect him to. It's nice when he buys me flowers for Valentines or our anniversary, but I've never actually asked him to.…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 02:23 PM
3

Meh, I don't think I do. I read through your examples and the RPW post and comments, but I've never asked my boyfriend "a question with no right answer". Or I've never compared our relationship to someone else's just to nag him... maybe because he's a good boyfriend idk. Something I've heard that stuck with me when I was younger is that if you treat a man like your husband, he will treat you like his wife. So I treat him with trust, respect, and try to make his life easier where I can by doing h…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 01:34 PM
3

So... after looking at the above edits and RPW post, I'm pretty sure I don't. I've never been like "why can't you do stuff so and so's bf/husband does" or "I don't want a gift" and then gotten mad at my boyfriend for not reading my mind. I'm pretty straight forward with him, and he'll just do things for me without any drama from me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 01:27 PM
3

Have heard of that term, don't shit test boyfriend... I just don't understand why that's a thing, I'd rather be happy and drama free thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 06:34 AM
1

Not goat, but for me the attraction I experience that does make me want to have sex with my boyfriend is sexual but amplified by the emotions I have towards him and his reactions to me. Like another commenter said above, I'll see him vacuuming from across the room and think "he's so cute and responsible, I want to touch his butt" not "I want to rip his clothes off and jump on that d." How he reacts to me touching his butt will determine whether or not I feel like it's sexy times.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 06:24 AM
2

For me, and for some other women I've spoken to on here, we like to describe those provider traits as part of our emotional attraction, which is a multiplier of physical attraction. In other words, if we are physically attracted to a man already, then added emotional attraction turns that up to 11. But if there's no physical attraction at all, emotional attraction won't help you. All that said, I think it takes a lot for an attractive husband to suddenly become unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 06:09 AM
3

Meh, I always hate assholes. No matter how attractive a guy is, if he's an asshole it's an instant turnoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 06:04 AM
2

That's why men and women are enemies when it comes to love and sex. Wat
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 05:43 AM
15

I don't shit test my boyfriend... honestly that stuff that those women in the article did sounds retarded. Maybe I'm just lazy, but starting drama just because sounds exhausting. I'm usually happy as long as I've gotten enough sleep, am not hungry, and don't feel disrespected. Seriously, who does that shit? "I'll give you a photo if you stay up all night and listen to this song." And how is asking a man to hold your purse a shit test? Sometimes I need free arms!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/17 05:26 AM
1

I used to feel insecure in my boyfriend's love for me, thinking things like "what if he leaves tomorrow" or stuff like that, and it made me question his actions a lot more and hold back. Now that we've been together for 5 years, I don't feel insecure at all, really, so I'm able to fully give and recieve affection and myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 01:07 PM
1

Sorry if this was unclear, they weren't shaming him because of his height, they were poking fun at him because they viewed me as objectively more attractive or out of his league. When in reality, he's such a cool dude that he's probably out of mine lol. Lesson being that looks get you judged, but getting to know a person can change a perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 03:53 AM
1

Not really, what would make it weird would be if he was socially awkward. He doesn't avoid eye contact, doesn't say inappropriate or disturbing things, and he's generally pretty happy to talk to new people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 03:52 AM
0

Every woman's threshold is different. Being better looking opens access to more women. I can agree with that. But I think given that you are looking for an LTR and more than just looks, you can lower your standards to find a woman who sees you as meeting her threshold. Ex: if you think that you are objectively below average in attractiveness, don't look for only objectively above average women. It is possible to be good looking enough to date and not good looking enough to fuck. I'll grant you t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 03:48 AM
2

I mean, most women on here (including myself) have said that looks do matter, just only as a basic threshold. And most people can follow TRP advice to get there (lose weight, dress better, have more self confidence). Looks get you in the door, those attractive traits that women listed are what keep you in the house. For example, I wouldn't have considered dating my boyfriend if I personally didn't find him physically attractive, but I can tell objectively that he's pretty average. What makes him…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/17 01:02 AM
1

My guy wasn't confident in an arrogant way, though. I guess the difference is that when I say confidence, I mean he's unashamedly who he is, which is a silly, sweet man. He didn't strut over to me and act like a douche, because that's not who he is. He asked me what my favorite color was and if I liked the first pokemon movie lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 07:50 PM
2

Tbh I wouldn't know, I'm not a man, but there are plenty of short women out there. IME, most women just want a guy who is taller than they are, and with the average height for men falling 2 inches taller than the average for women, it can't be that hard to find. Plus, I've met some very attractive 5'4" guys, and they're all in committed relationships right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 03:49 PM
1

I hardly wear makeup since I'm not supposed to at my office and I don't like makeup much anyway. So I can feel good psychologically without feeling super attractive, but I have to admit that, the times I do put a lot of effort in my appearance, I feel really good about myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 03:43 PM
6

To your second point, I would agree with not confident being a low SMV trait. Confidence can make average men above average and lack of it can make them below average imo, and you can't deny the power of a good personality and developed interests. My boyfriend is 5'8", and as I've said before on here, people who see us together in pictures or out and about have told me he "lucked out" and that they wonder how he landed me. Then they meet him, and they realize he's a funny, confident, and sweet g…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 03:35 PM
1

My point wasn't about whether or not men wife up low SMV women or if men or women are more frequently unhappy, my point was that what might make you think women have weaker attraction is that women are more likely to compromise sexual attraction for high RMV men/women and jump into commitments quickly, but then feel no desire for sex leading to unhappiness and relationships ending. Whereas men are more likely to make the opposite relationship mistake of compromising on RMV for higher SMV, thereb…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 03:19 AM
1

I think women's attraction isn't weaker, women are just quicker to jump into relationships with people who have high RMV but they're not attracted to because they think it will work out. Similarly, men are quicker to jump into relationships with people with high SMV that they are attracted to (even if they aren't high RMV) hoping it will work out. Both cases end up unhappy, the woman because she wants sex but not with her partner and the man because he wants sex but his partner is emotionally ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 01:08 AM
1

True, most women don't have to be monetarily successful or dominant to be reproductively successful. Which sucks! I wish more women were raised to be ambitious, especially in this economy-- always shake my head at my girl friends that got some bs degree because they thought they could just get by and find a husband, lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 12:59 AM
1

Sorry, I should have been more specific, just meant he was eliminated by the first criteria since he's 5'8" xD definitely does not come close to either of those pics in terms of looks, but then I'm no supermodel either :P Personally, I find him very attractive and I'd rate him above average due to face, personality, and sense of humor, but my coworkers have told me that he "lucked out big time" by getting me so take that as you will xD Dudes who'll grab your hand and take you to Ipanema beach fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/17 12:54 AM
4

Hey, random but, there's actually a cool study on this! Apparently attractive people are more likely to have daughters because an attractive woman is more likely to have reproductive success, meaning that attractiveness is biologically skewed towards women. Check it out: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201101/beautiful-people-have-more-daughters
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 11:55 PM
1

Not the original commenter, but what do you mean by chads? The definition I've heard of a "chad" is a 6'0" or above, muscular, square jawed, and dark triad light type guy. Which eliminated my boyfriend (who I have enjoyed bedding for the last 5 years) at 6'0" lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 09:13 PM
2

America's crime isn't rising though... and just because women can get sex doesn't mean they're happy about it or that men will commit to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 09:10 PM
1

Face, penis. Mid twenties, Hispanic/Asian, South US, undecided pill, middle class
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/17 03:13 PM
1

Ah, sorry, it was another commenter. I got confused because their reply was followed by yours... Tall, dominant, muscular These are the ones I was going off of, that the previous commenter stated were the "unreasonable" standards. However, given the fact that women hardly ever struggle with finding anyone to date at all, as compared to men, and also the fact that millennial women tend to lament their SO's failure to conform IME, these aren't facts... no one my age complains about their boyfriend…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 08:18 PM
1

It's not an issue to you (hopefully), but it's still significant, and that's why you pay attention to it. I'm telling you objective facts about my boyfriend because /you/ said these were unattractive to women. If they were significant issues, I wouldn't be with him, nor would I have asked him out 5 years ago. you are aware of the fact that it's generally seen as an unattractive trait, even if in your case you are either not turned off by it or are overlooking it. Again, /you/ said this was an un…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 06:52 PM
2

Lol... yeah, actually
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 12:15 PM
1

And here you go holding your own boyfriend to those unrealistically high standards. No, I'm pointing out that he's only 2 inches taller than me because it's not an issue. The comment about him being conflict adverse is meant to illustrate that I'm not judging him for it.... I only meant to show that traits that /you/ listed as unattractive to women (not tall, not dominant, not muscular) are traits that my boyfriend has. And I'm very much attracted to him haha. Also, if I was holding him to those…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 12:11 AM
1

At what age was your first date, and how was it? My first real date was in college, at 19. My friend gave me her guy friend's number because he had recently broken up with his high school girlfriend; I figured, what the hell, I'll ask him out. It was pretty fun, we watched the first pokemon movie together, talked a lot about ourselves, and got to know each other. I'd say it turned out alright since we're still together 5 years later haha. At what age do you consider it odd when a person has neve…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 09:41 PM
2

Lol, what? Where did you get pompous Nazi or lying? When I say I don't find muscle heads or arrogance attractive, I mean it. My boyfriend is a 5'8", 145 lb guy because that's what I find attractive. That and the fact that he's not arrogant, generally nice and polite, and unaggressive. If a man told me he didn't like big butts or boobs on women, I wouldn't say "oh, you must be lying, since all men like that."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 08:11 PM
1

Yeah 6 months is peak insecurity time IME, that's when you're still trying to figure out if your guy/gal feels the same about you as you do about them. Open and honest communication comes when you fully trust each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 07:47 PM
1

To me, that just screams of insecurity. If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been together? Boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, so for Valentines we just went to a local bar, grabbed drinks, reminisced a bit about the years we've spent together, then went home and got busy haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 07:11 PM
1

Do you know that your view is correct? I believe so, most women I know who are my age (I'm a millennial) have paired off with someone by the time they're 25 if they're looking for a commitment. My own boyfriend is just 2 inches taller than me at 5'8", skinny as a rod, and conflict adverse. But it works because he's comfortable in his own skin, we connect very well, and neither of us are particularly dominant people. So now this boils down to my belief that many/most millennial women have unreali…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 07:06 PM
1

Yeah, precisely.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 06:47 PM
3

Lol, what? I just said I tell him when I want his advice or when I just want to talk about how I feel. He expresses no frustrations with my "emotional states and desired level of advice", he's able to understand me pretty well I think. I agree that adults communicate openly, which I do, and don't like women who expect guys to be able to read their minds. I think that's immature behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 06:46 PM
5

Because we're not saying all women do this, just for us, as individuals, we see these things as unattractive. Whether you choose to let your experiences bias your perception of women or not is up to you
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 05:39 PM
3

Maybe I just don't like mean people, but guys who are openly condescending to anyone turn me off so fast. There were a few guys in my boyfriend's friend group who would do that; I don't know if they thought it would impress girls or if they thought it made them seem better in comparison, but I couldn't stand them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 05:35 PM
3

Not really, I find people who are arrogant behave differently than people who genuinely have a passion for what they do. One example I can think of is my guy friend who's really into programming and wrote his own programming language. He's very smart and loves to talk about his projects if you ask him, but he's not constantly making every conversation about how smart he is or trying to impress anyone, he just loves to program. He's also not putting down others who don't like programming. Convers…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 05:25 PM
2

I didn't say advice, just input. Sometimes I actually do want solutions for difficult situations I'm in, other times I want someone to listen and either tell me I'm overreacting or that my feelings are valid. Boyfriend knows me well enough to know the difference, and also I usually make it pretty clear why I'm talking about something. (Phrases like: "is it just me or..." and "hey, I need to tell someone something, can you help me figure out how to say it...") I do the same for him when he vents …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 05:00 PM
6

Do/act Besides the obvious like poor hygeine and poor health (obesity included here), I don't like arrogance or braggarts, so if you're going on about how you are so cool because you did x, y, z, I will politely shut you down or exit the conversation. Also don't like guys who shit on popular things because they think it makes them look cool or who act like they're the smartest guy in the room and put other people down to maintain their fragile ego. Don't like unnecessarily rude people either, es…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 03:22 PM
0

Most girls just want their guy to be their height or taller, and with the average height being 5'6" for women and 5'8" for men, that doesn't seem that unrealistic. Dominance is the same, I think, most women just want a man who is at their level of social aptitude or better. As for muscular... I've never known anyone to state that they would only date guys who looked like they could bench press a person. I think most women just want a guy who takes care of his body, especially if they're pretty f…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 02:48 PM
1

Sure, I guess I just find it weird. But to answer your prompt, I make more money than my boyfriend, so him bringing the money to our relationship isn't really realistic. The reasons I need him are because we're best friends and the sex is awesome.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 03:03 AM
4

What would make him look weak? Not giving a fuck, being ambitious, shows of strength or superiority, handling your emotions well, dread, dominant behavior, not taking you seriously, sexual aggression, exuding confidence, etc. The only ones that sound good to me are being ambitious, handling emotions well, and exuding confidence, but more because I'm also ambitious, don't want someone who can't talk about or understand their feelings, and think confidence shows that you're comfortable with who yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 02:53 AM
1

Hm, I mean it makes sense if the men are the only ones with jobs, but I think it's kind of weird and outdated to assume men are going to pay for everything even if you're employed and making more than your partner. Also find it weird that guys are shaming you into paying because women get periods and otherwise wouldn't need men... those are flimsy reasons at best lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 02:39 AM
4

Off the top of my head, conflicts with friends or acquaintances, issues at work, worries about the future or his family, or worries about current events. He must balance it with shows of not being a pussy too. Do you have an example of that? Haven't heard someone say this before.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 02:02 AM
2

What are these high attractiveness standards, if you could put it into words?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 01:02 AM
3

Women are fundamentally faithless? Why do you believe that?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 12:59 AM
8

I don't really get this either.... I've said to some guys on here that a good relationship is one where you can tell each other basically everything, but I always get the same response of "it doesn't work like that" because women don't like weakness, problems, etc. My boyfriend constantly tells me about his problems because he wants my input; kinda like how I vent to him about problems I have because I want his input.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 12:24 AM
2

Are your friends women? Maybe they feel defensive because they always want their date to pay. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, we would take turns paying based on who invited whom out and who paid last time. Now we have a joint account so it's always 50/50.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/17 12:17 AM
1

A good example of why correlation =! causation!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 07:38 PM
3

Isn't one of the problems with that often quoted statistic that it includes men and women who have multiple marriages? So that a good portion of men and women skew that state by having multiple partners and being terrible at maintaining long term relationships. Although maybe I'm just rephrasing your point in a way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 05:25 PM
2

Yeah, I think maybe the guys I was talking to hadn't been in very long term relationships, so they hadn't experienced that switch from butterflies to emotional or logical attraction. It does feel somewhat involuntary, since the longer I spend with my boyfriend the more in love I feel. But I think the logical part, or the part where choice comes in, is acting on those feelings so that he knows I love him. Yes, absolutely. It allows me to appreciate her. If I find a woman beautiful and get to know…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 02:31 AM
3

Gotcha. I've referred to exactly this as emotional attraction, where you love the person for who they are but it's more of a comforting feeling than a butterflies, honeymoon phase type feeling. Some guys I spoke to took offense to that, and called me cold haha. Do you feel that logical love enhances sexual attraction you have for a woman that already exists?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 12:48 AM
1

Lol, fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 12:45 AM
2

What do you mean by falling in love logically?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 12:20 AM
2

Right? My definition of one night stand is you pick up some girl/guy, sex em, then forget about them. Which I don't really see the appeal in...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/17 12:13 AM
1

Then perhaps the term friend is too generalized. Earlier you had mentioned that you wanted your man to act as a close friend I suppose I should have clarified that I meant my boyfriend and I describe each other as our best friends first and foremost. Because we share a lot of hobbies and interests and are willing to do a lot for each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 10:51 PM
1

They would care, but not on the same level as friends, rather as romantic partners exclusively. That doesn't make sense, I care more about my boyfriend's emotional well being and problems than my friends... I care about both of them, obviously, but I'm more likely to move mountains to help my boyfriend than I am my friends, and I'd expect the same from him (which he does). The thing about hobbies is that you can always find a woman who is into those things. Like I said earlier, boyfriend and I p…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 08:50 PM
1

You would assume most women don't want men who care about them and know them well? And what kinds of hobbies don't men and women share? Most couples I know (including my boyfriend and I) share a good portion of hobbies and interests. We play video games together, watch the same series, and genuinely prefer each other's company to that of other friends. It also doesn't explain women who say they want commitment, emotional investment, etc but then choose guys who would never in a million years off…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 07:24 PM
4

Are you kidding? Literally the first line: I know for myself personally, is to not play the honor game. I thought women respected guys with honor, but then I realized, they don't have honor themselves Does everyone who read these just gloss over the negative attitude towards women?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 02:33 PM
7

Half the post is talking about why LTRs are a bad idea, and why his first mistake was pursuing a relationship in the first place (women gain weight, manipulate, etc.). He also continually drops stuff like this: Your girlfriend, even if she is uglier than you, can sleep with other men whenever she wants. For you it will always be an uphill battle. The more you can balance this disparity, the better. Assuming all women are going to screw you over. He even says he may die alone but he'll die withou…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 02:22 PM
1

I was talking about time and emotional investment, which would entail getting to know you, caring about you, being a close friend and lover at the same time, and eventually starting a life with you (marriage, kids, etc.). Yeah, it's just a value difference, most women would not see that kind of sexual desire as making them valuable. Probably because we are the ones told that more sex = less market value, "why buy the cow when the milk is free", and we're the ones who crave an emotional connectio…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 06:28 AM
9

If you must know, I was talking about this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5q7r2h/women_are_not_on_your_team_so_dont_be_on_theirs/ Read that monster and the top comments and tell me that attitude towards women isn't toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 04:37 AM
7

Hmm... honestly the one you gave in your post is probably the best example, and perhaps what most people think of when they think of TRP strategy. I mean, one random time I opened the subreddit because I was genuinely wanting to understand TRP and the men who follow it, but the top post that day was about a guy who advocated lying to women about the relationship and stated "she's not on your team, so why be on hers" or something to that effect. Lots of highly upvoted comments repeating some vari…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 04:10 AM
10

Pursuing casual sex and long term relationships aren't harmful, I don't think anyone here is advocating that. Most of what people object to is the dehumanization of women and treating them like the enemy based on the behavior of a subset of women, which can be harmful if someone takes that too far.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 03:41 AM
1

I think maybe this is a fundamental difference in our thought process. As a woman, I can do without sex pretty easily. From my POV, a guy having sex with me tells me nothing about my sexual desirability, only my lack of value as a person if he were to pump and dump me. Many men on here and IRL have confessed that they would have sex with anyone, and that certain women are for sex only. So it is very difficult for me to imagine a world where I could get no sex and no emotional connection. But a w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 03:22 AM
3

Overcooked is on steam, which is a pc client! Probably perfect for yall
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 02:51 AM
1

Yes! We love overcooked! I'd second that :)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 02:50 AM
2

I'm an engineer who's into gaming, so probably about the same as you haha. I was never really asked out by friends or strangers, but I have been told that I don't look like a gamer, so maybe I was intimidating? Idk, it doesn't matter now, I just wanted to say not all girls get as much attention as guys think.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 02:49 AM
1

My boyfriend talks about his problems with me all the time... I mean, I don't know your situation, but he's always confiding in me about things that bother him in life or work.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 01:04 AM
1

Sure, but that's kind of moot if we're not seeking it, right? We don't want meaningless sex, so we wouldn't know that guys don't want to use us. Plus it's not really validating for a lot of women in the same way it is for a lot of men to casually bang someone. To a man, you feel desired because women are known as the choosy sex, so it's validating that a woman chose you. For a woman, you're taught that men will bang anything, so it would hurt whether or not he did sleep with you because either a…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 01:02 AM
2

Not denying that's the expectation, it's just that IME I was approached once, and asked my boyfriend out who was also approached previously by another girl (his first girlfriend). And I don't think I'm average looking, either; I've been told my guy is lucky, I'm a catch, etc. and that I have a very exotic look because I'm mixed race. Sorry, not trying to complain, just elaborating my view; I think a lot of the reason I didn't get much attention is because I'm pretty introverted and don't like la…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/17 12:55 AM
1

Hey u/ABCYZ, I'm a shy girl, too. IME, introverted girls don't get approached as much because we're usually not hanging around the places where guys feel confident enough to approach like clubs, bars, etc. and we're not drop dead gorgeous so unlikely to get approached outside of those areas. What you have to do, what I did, is try to approach guys instead. Approach guys who have the same sorts of hobbies as you, join clubs and make friends with people who can introduce you to single guys. And re…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 09:07 PM
1

with emphasis on the sex I think therein lies the problem. Even introverted women generally will not have issues getting sex because there will always be a guy thirsty enough to do us, barring some major physical or mental issue on our part. But most women don't want to feel like a guy's warm wet fleshlight for one night, so we don't look for casual sex and feel forever alone for never having dated and wanting sex with someone to mean something.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 08:52 PM
1

It does if you know each other well enough-- boyfriend and I have lots of crazy conversations based on random thoughts that pop into our heads.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 07:25 PM
1

So basically people don't believe women who do have issues dating because there are a good chunk of women who don't. It might not line up with your experience, but there are a lot of average women who are never approached; especially if they're introverted. I don't really see these kinds of women complaining about not getting the best man available, more just complaining that guys they take an interest in (who are of similar attractiveness) only see them as friends. I know I had that problem, al…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 07:24 PM
3

Yeah, that's what's great about it! You essentially play through the jurassic park movies in LEGO form xD we also have LEGO star wars haha. Are you talking about LEGO batman? We really want to see it!!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 05:32 PM
2

Video game, boyfriend and I have been trying to play through it recently. We love the LEGO series of games haha
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 05:20 PM
1

I didn't say women don't get approached, just that introverted women (up to 50% of the population, meaning at most 50% but possibly less) probably don't get approached as often (i.e., 1 or 2 times in a few decades as opposed to a dozen times a month). 50% or more of women probably do get constant male attention because they're fairly outgoing and like clubbing or bar hopping.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 05:18 PM
1

The average wedding in the US is 30K... small weddings cost on average 6K. I think the wedding industry in the US definitely thrives on big weddings.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 02:46 PM
1

I'm not unattractive by any means, but I've been approached once, maybe twice if you count the time a guy's mom came up to me to tell me he liked my shirt. I don't think my experience is at all unique for more introverted women, so possibly up to 50% of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 02:44 PM
1

Not everyone needs it, some people are more resilient than others. But it is nice to go home and have someone who you can tell every single thought that pops into your head without judgment
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 02:22 PM
3

Or play LEGO Jurassic Park with haha
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 02:20 PM
2

I've seen men and women post to Facebook anytime they need money or help-- people will fund their Kickstarter, gofundme, or what have you because no one wants to let someone or their kids suffer. Also, if they're on facebook, chances are they know and are friends with most of the people donating. Also also, I had no idea any time a man helped me out he just wanted to get into my panties lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 02:18 PM
5

Hey, millennial here. That article says that millennials are having sex later and having fewer partners, which sounds about right. It's not because men have been pussified, it's because we're also the most educated generation and have more means of entertaining ourselves than ever. Contrary to popular belief, most people my age don't want to risk STDs, pregnancy, etc. unless it's worth it, so most of us wait until we find a relationship or just don't have sex. There are outliers of course, but t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 01:33 PM
5

I think most people get defensive when they're told they're unattractive, that's just how we are. In general the only shaming I've seen done is borne of insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 06:30 AM
3

If you're drop dead gorgeous, yeah. I asked my boyfriend out, actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 05:30 AM
4

That not every woman is getting a dozen guys approaching her at all times. I mean, you can say "just go to a bar, it's easy", but if you don't like going to bars, or if you don't like the kinds of people who like going to bars, then you're kind of screwed, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 05:07 AM
3

Definitely true, but arguably it wouldn't be very fulfilling if you gave up too much independence.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 05:03 AM
1

Well, now I'm in a happy relationship, more just making a point.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 04:53 AM
4

What if you're not a barfly though?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 04:33 AM
2

I did though... I would try to escalate with male friends, but they could only see me as a friend. I would ask my female friends in relationships how they found their SOs, and try to be patient and wait for someone who would mesh with me, but I still craved a relationship desperately.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 04:19 AM
5

Generally, I think attractiveness lowers the creep threshold. But if you try to buy me a game because I spent like 2 minutes talking to you about it my creep radar is going to go off regardless of how attractive you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 04:11 AM
6

You're assuming every woman gets approached by at least a dozen guys a month... I think in college I was approached by one, and he tried to buy me a game at Gamestop which just felt weird....
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 04:08 AM
6

My hypothetical was meant to be about relationships, but even for sex I have to disagree. For some, it's nearly impossible to feel any sexual attraction for someone without an emotional connection. I didn't jump into a relationship with just any guy just because I really wanted a relationship, it wouldn't be fair to that hypothetical guy or to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 04:03 AM
0

Oh, absolutely, but I think the industry mostly thrives on bridezillas. Most couples I know who are in a relationship for the right reasons don't care too much about having a big wedding.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 03:57 AM
2

Being more selective doesn't mean you want relationships less, though, right? Otherwise you could say a man who has standards wants relationships less than a man who doesn't, when really he just respects himself more.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 03:32 AM
0

Most women want relationships, because we're all human and most of us crave an emotional connection with the opposite sex. But some just want the social validation because other women are in relationships, and they think a relationship will make them feel better about themselves-- cue the bridezillas who want all eyes to be on them or women who want a marriage that they can brag about but don't care who their husband is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 03:29 AM
15

Agreed! Most men and women want fulfilling romantic relationships, and not just for status and bragging rights, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 02:59 AM
2

I agree, I didn't have any dating experience until I was 19 because I'm not a very outgoing woman, and that definitely made me feel insecure. But part of how I dealt with that was knowing that a relationship only multiplies whatever happiness or life satisfaction you have already. So if you have 0, you're not going to really appreciate your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 02:29 AM
1

Gottman's research primarily showed that contempt was a relationship killer. If you feel contempt for your partner, your words will be harsher and you will treat your partner as your enemy through any kind of conflict due to a release of cortisol and adrenaline. But if you respect your partner and love them, your words will be kind, and you will approach conflict or problems in the relationship as a team so that they'll bring you closer. One example I can think of in my own life, is the differen…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 02:20 AM
1

I think if the woman has a narcissistic personality, she'll feel harmed without that kind of validation. But the same could be said for men who need the newest car/biggest house/etc. just so they can brag about it. For every woman I know who has to post a selfie every five minutes or has a new boyfriend every month, there are 10 others who a) despise that kind of behavior and b) find value in their life by pursuing hobbies and hanging out with friends with or without a partner. Women who complai…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 02:02 AM
3

There are absolutely women out there who need to outdo the women around them in order to feel even remotely happy about themselves, and so they'll pursue relationships trying to get that. I knew one girl in college who would get all pissy towards her boyfriend because mine would bring me flowers after class without any kind of nagging or passive aggressive hinting from me. She'd make a huge deal about kissing him/holding hands in public and saying I love you so everyone could hear. But she was s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 01:54 AM
2

I wouldn't use the wedding industry as a marker of how much women want relationships, just how much a lot of women want social validation. The wedding industry is primarily fueled by women willing to pay over 30K to show off, many of whom want a marriage more than they want a husband. Those are the kinds of women who will leave a guy because he didn't commit within 2 years, even if their relationship is otherwise good. But I digress, I actually agree that most women do want romantic relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/17 01:33 AM
3

Does she seem pretty casual about sex? Could be that since yall aren't exclusive or anything she's just easily sexually interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/17 10:19 PM
10

I think the point they were trying to make is that often men only turn to partners for emotional support-- so the fact that women can turn to their friends means that a relationship offers mostly exclusive sex and some more emotional support.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/17 07:27 PM
3

But that's not what I was referring to, I was referring to the expectation that being with a partner will always be new and exciting. Of course a new partner will be exciting, you'll feel butterflies all over again, the honeymoon phase will be in full swing. But I've been with my partner 5 years, and the fact that we do almost the same things every day doesn't get to me, because our connection isn't about new and exciting things, it's about facing life as a team and laughing our way through the …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/17 04:00 PM
15

Option 1, assuming that I married him because we have some kind of connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/17 06:32 AM
2

I don't really like the term Chad, but I can tell you that my boyfriend is a 5'8" STEM guy. We met in college, and he was on about the same path as you (literally told me when we first started dating that the only reason I even considered a relationship with him is because someone suggested we date). What I saw in him then and now is that he's a very sweet guy, who knows who he is and what he wants in life, but just got unlucky in terms of dating experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/17 12:11 AM
6

Yes, I absolutely agree! You can't expect an LTR to always be new and exciting, adult life is pretty mundane. TMI maybe, but I know one of the times I felt most connected to my boyfriend was when our cat had poop stuck in her fur, because instead of being upset, both of us were laughing uncontrollably trying to shave it out and clean the bathroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 11:44 PM
2

You're correct. If I get bored I pick up a new hobby-- I expect my man to do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 10:38 PM
5

IME, I can't be sexually satisfied unless I'm psychologically satisfied. And it doesn't take "perpetual unfolding adventure and novelty", either. It comes from loving my partner, and feeling loved by him. Some of the best sex we've had comes right after he's holding me close and giving me small kisses on my cheek and telling me he loves me, or when I feel especially connected to him (we just talked for hours about something we're both passionate about, we played a round of 1v1 overwatch both wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 10:34 PM
2

I always ended up being attracted to guys or gals I hang with regularly, so in the past I was attracted to my tall, chubby anime-loving Hispanic best friend, a Vietnamese guy in advanced classes with me who was a really toned swimmer, and a lanky Eastern European guy who was in my calculus class and loved to rock climb. My boyfriend is kind of a mix of all the above, lanky, smart, somewhat outdoorsy, and an anime nerd :)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 02:47 PM
2

I was mostly asking that guy, since he seems a little out of touch. But not every woman wants what was described above.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 02:22 PM
3

I like how you're telling me all women do this as a man. My guy is 145 lbs soaking wet and literally the nicest person I know. We've been in situations where another guy gave him shit. I didn't/haven't lost attraction just because my guy is non-confrontational, that'd be ridiculous since I chose him knowing that about his personality. I actually get angry at the guy who's being a dick, because I hate arrogance and guys who are mean for no reason. Several of my coworkers are the same way with reg…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 02:19 PM
5

You're obviously hanging out with the the wrong people. Your other comment mentioned how your friend gets arrested regularly. Sorry, can't name a single woman in my life who would care to deal with testosterone fueled meat heads who get arrested once let alone multiple times.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 05:17 AM
2

Then she's an idiot lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 05:16 AM
3

Yes, thank you! Men like that need to find women who wonder what they did to deserve him. I know I do :)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 04:41 AM
4

Yeah, true. Resorting to violence doesn't really mean you're any stronger than a guy who calmly handles a situation like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 02:05 AM
3

I mean sure, but we're evolved enough to know what to look for in a mate based on the current environment. We women generally don't need a rough, strong guy 99% of the time; and the 1% where we might (getting mugged for instance), calling the police is the safer idea. Being muscly and rugged is still attractive to our lizard brains, but you don't need to prove it by fighting someone anymore. Getting into a fistfight just because someone insults you shows you're easily provoked, don't think about…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 01:36 AM
4

Do you have any experience with this happening? Personally, I'd prefer my man not escalate a situation needlessly or get hurt just to prove his manliness. Maybe that kind of thought process existed a few decades ago, but most people I know are more interested in brains than brawn.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 01:27 AM
5

What. What kind of women are you hanging around that think this way? Leaving your long term partner because they're not wanting to get in a fight is stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 01:09 AM
5

I'm not arguing you don't need to be attractive, and you really only need to be attractive to the woman you're trying to bang btw, so it's not some hard line, but that having more sexual experiences somehow makes you more sexually skilled. You could have had 100 ONS, but if you didn't care whether the woman felt pleasure or not chances are none of them are going to stick around. That's part of being a good lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 01:02 AM
4

Pfft, I would think my guy were sensible not to escalate if something like that happened. This isn't the stone age, where every high value woman wants to be with the guy that beats up all the rest
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 12:47 AM
6

Having more sexual experiences =! being more sexually skilled. If you care about the woman's pleasure and are willing to do a bit of light research, that can get you pretty far. My boyfriend only had one partner previous to me, but he's an incredible lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 12:37 AM
8

Meh, I would argue more guys fall in the middle than you'd think. I would describe that comfortable middle as knowing that you have intrinsic value, but still being caring and thoughtful towards others. My boyfriend displays a lot of "beta" traits that I've commonly seen described as attraction killers, but I think my attraction to him has grown since we first started dating if anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/17 12:00 AM
3

As I and many other women have said on PPD, being attractive does get you past the threshold. If the woman you approach is into NSA or ONS sex, then you're golden. If not, then that woman won't even think of you in a sexual way until you form an emotional connection with her. My boyfriend is always surprised that he notices attractive dudes before I do (especially since he can see some nice cleavage from miles away haha), but that's just because I don't really look at men until I get to know the…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 11:55 PM
5

Most women I know (including myself) were dating seriously by the time they were 25. Women I know who were single by that time usually either aren't looking for a commitment or have personality flaws preventing men from committing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 03:07 PM
3

That about sums up my experience, South metropolitan areas represent! But seriously down here a lot of people joke that women go to college for their Mrs degree. Can't really make too much fun since I also met future husband in college, haha
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 02:41 PM
1

Yeah, seems like mostly people who actually want to go the distance are making it official, which is nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 02:00 AM
2

http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/main/u-s-divorce-rates-and-statistics-1037.shtml
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 01:34 AM
3

Meh, whenever people bring up that half of marriages dissolve I like to bring up that the statistic you're referencing is really inflated. It includes all the divorces of men and women who have been remarried 7 or more times. I think the main problem is that it's super easy socially to get married and divorce six months later. Oh, also I believe divorce rate is on the decline, might be wrong about that though.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 01:09 AM
6

Before I met my boyfriend, I felt unattractive because I hadn't dated anyone before. Had crushes on a lot of guys, but didn't know how to escalate. Getting a ONS would not have boosted my ego because I wanted to feel loved, not used.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 12:57 AM
7

Love is by nature passionate and instinctive! But something some people have called me "cold" for is realizing that you won't always be in that honeymoon phase of love, where your lover can do no wrong; especially if you're together for several years or decades. Sometimes you will fight over small petty things, but the key thing you have to remember is that part of being in love is making the choice to solve problems with love in your heart. So the part where you occasionally have to remind your…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 12:50 AM
3

I just don't think women are as fickle as we're made out to be. I know my man is objectively not some superstar, but I'm not looking to trade because I do care for him as a person. Sure it's all feelings, but that's the risk and reward in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/17 12:05 AM
2

Well my point was that I can only say some women are because I haven't talked to all of them and I'm using anecdotal evidence which is tenuous at best. If I was saying "all women are x", you'd expect some unbiased proof, as do I. I never said we couldn't make predictions, just that you can't assume 100% of the population is a certain way based on a small subset of women. And doesn't it make more sense that only some women feel that way than every woman feels that way but simply subdues it someho…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 11:59 PM
2

I meant merely that your sample was biased towards unhappy men on relationships. What about all the happy men? They never talk about their relationships because they don't need to. And you can say the last few sentences all you want, but if they were true, why haven't I felt any desire for all the "chads" out there? Why doesn't every woman I know just drop their husbands (who they make more money than btw) and look for some CEO?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 11:22 PM
4

Women don't commonly do that either... IME, the only divorces in my friends and family were due to the husband cheating or abusing the wife. But I don't think that all men are cheaters or abusers. The definition they gave for hypergamy was leaving for someone they define as better for them. And as you said, a man might leave a woman because he wants a younger and prettier one, which he would find better for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 11:14 PM
4

You might not, but I'd wager there are men who do; the types of men who want to trade in their wives for a newer model, regardless of how pleasant she is. Anyway, my main issue with the whole thing about hypergamy is the assumption that all women do it and no man would ever do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 11:07 PM
2

I hadn't meant insult you, but I'm sorry that I came across that way. I also never said that no women enjoy casual sex with little need for emotional connection. My only issue with your comments was that some, maybe even most, women are definitely attracted to niceness, though you're correct that there has to be some base physical attraction, as with anyone. I can also tell you that when I first met my boyfriend, my thoughts were not "I want to fuck that guy", they were "that guy seems cool, we …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 11:02 PM
2

I think there are people from both genders who want to label all people of one gender bad just because they've been through some bad relationships, hookups, what have you. I spend an equal amount of my energy trying to convince women "not all men", too.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 07:53 PM
2

I'm actually not insulting you, just meant that it sucks that you let bad experiences with women inform your interactions and assumptions of women around you. Didn't say you suck, just that women around you probably do. You are condescending because you're telling me that women in general are a certain way and refusing any woman's experience by virtue of their gender. Out of curiosity, how would you think it would appear outwardly that would prove you right? What could possibly be driving my sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 07:42 PM
5

Nah, I don't think for a second that men and women are all that different. I just take offense to claims that only women (or all women) are shitty, haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 07:32 PM
2

That's fine and all, but I think it's a little condescending to tell someone their attraction is just comfort that lets them deal with the people in their lives just because the women in your life suck. Believe it or not, I love my boyfriend because he's a total sweetheart, and I want to have sex with him everyday just because I love him; sex for me is an expression of my love. I don't feel disgusted by his niceness, only proud of him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 07:31 PM
5

But... Men do that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 07:13 PM
2

But you're not a woman, so I fail to see how your experience somehow trumps mine, or how you can use your anecdotal evidence to tell me how I feel. I feel no attraction for assholes, douchebags, or criminals. I do feel attraction for confident and nice guys like my boyfriend -- soon to be husband. I've seen what you describe when talking about the sorts of women you've been around, so I'm more inclined to think you hang out with the wrong crowd.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 07:08 PM
2

We sure have, and you've got several women including me telling you that we get "tingles" when our men are all of those things. Sorry your wife was not one of those women, but hey some men don't get attracted to ambitious women either.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 06:11 PM
2

My point was that the general population loves men and women with passion. I've been told that even my passion for playing pokemon competitively is hot because I'm unashamed to talk about it and it's clear I know my stuff. But you have to know how to talk about it. If I just said to people "I like to play video games all day" our conversation would be boring. But since I say things like "I train daily, I've been to a few regional competitions and placed," it's a little more interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 05:53 PM
2

Yeah, it is. Because it makes me feel more emotionally connected to him, which spurs a more physical connection if you get my drift. But I'm also described by people who know me as "the nicest girl they know", so that's likely why I feel that way. Maybe your wife just doesn't value niceness in a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 05:19 PM
3

My boyfriend is a programmer, he likes to do projects whenever he has time, like an automated temperature controller for our smoker or a video game. I think it's very attractive that he has a passion for what he does, because it's not the subject that's important, it's just that he has some interest or drive to create something. I'm also pretty artsy craftsy, so I don't think I would be happy with someone who has no drive for anything in his life.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 04:34 PM
2

Definitely not. It's actually really attractive to me when my boyfriend is thoughtful and considerate of his friends and family. Or when he's willing to help out total strangers in their time of need.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 04:31 PM
2

IME, when you ask for dating advice from your friends, most of the time they're not going to be real with you because it would hurt your feelings and probably your friendship, which they don't want. The best example I can think of is when a friend of my boyfriend came to us for advice after a string of unhappy relationships. We started to say the usual (it's no one's fault, sometimes it just doesn't work out, etc.), and as soon as we tried to ease into the fact that some of it was his personalit…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 04:25 PM
6

Sociopathy. Shows that he cannot empathize with other people or feels no attachment to anyone. Narcissism. Overly inflated sense of self, unable to admit when wrong, etc. Unable to express himself without blowing up. Bottles up his negative emotions. Sees sex as a casual thing. Not very physically affectionate, even when alone together.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 04:10 PM
5

Usually, if you can get dates with women or if women will fool around with you but won't commit, your problem isn't being unattractive, it's your personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 01:27 AM
4

Yes! My boyfriend is always amazed that I'm not checking out every hot guy that walks down the street, while I'm always amazed at his keen sense for good cleavage in the immediate area haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 12:42 AM
9

How different a woman's sexuality is from a man's. It takes a lot of concentration for a woman to cum, and a lot of women are convincing fakers.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 12:31 AM
6

Good points all! For your last one, I'm almost always wary of male strangers unless I have friends with me. Not like, clutching at pepper spray wary, but wary enough to feel uncomfortable alone. Female strangers? No problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/17 12:19 AM
2

Don't do hookups, but when I was dating and now that I'm going to marry my longtime partner, I didn't and still don't care how much money he makes. He makes about 20K less than me, but it matters more to me that we have similar values when it comes to saving our money and spending it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 06:28 PM
7

Not into guys with high partner counts from hookups because I'm not into the idea of casual sex. So it would be a clash of values.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 06:13 AM
1

Yeah actually lol maybe that helps stave them off, but I've heard just as many women say to me that hormonal birth control completely wrecked them emotionally. Had some friends who had to quit them because they were starting to sink into depression. The really terrible thing about birth control is that its effects on women are completely different. Some women get no periods and feel the same, some women get crazy heavy periods and mood swings, etc. I never really got bad PMS or felt crazy before…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 01:05 AM
1

Absolutely, I was agreeing with you as far as hormones go, but I still think it is largely related to the kind of relationship you're in. I very much have "baby rabies" but I don't feel anxious or depressed because I'm very secure in my relationship and our plan going forward. And that's just because we're constantly talking about it haha we could spend hours every day just talking about what we want to do with our lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 12:57 AM
1

Not sure what the discussion is here....
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 12:55 AM
1

Probably due to reproductive pressure, if I had to guess. If you're a woman of reproductive age but don't have a man, assuming you want kids, chances are you're going to be depressed and anxious about your future. And women are usually disproportionately pressured more to start families and get married. My parents constantly ask when my boyfriend and I are going to start having kids or make very thinly veiled remarks about it, but his parents do not. Plus, just a generation or so ago, women were…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 12:46 AM
1

That's just not my experience, sorry. And I am of reproductive age... but the reason I argue social conditioning is because I've noticed that women over a decade older than me tend to trend towards the types of behaviors and values you're describing. But not all of them do. Leads me to believe nurture has more to do with it than nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/17 12:11 AM
3

Aren't those kinds of studies a little skewed? Because it includes women who married several times, who of course would suck at maintaining a marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 11:46 PM
1

I'll grant you that no woman wants to feel stronger than their partner. But I'm sure most women would be ok with feeling equal to their partner. If both the man and the woman are equally capable of handling their own feelings and self-care, then I don't think there would be a problem. But that kind of takes me back to gender roles. Men are often taught that expressing themselves or having emotions is a form of weakness, whereas women are not. If your mom or dad grew up with that expectation, cha…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 11:29 PM
1

I think it just depends on the woman. I've worked with women who have 0 complaints about their husbands in terms of "neediness" and "uselessness" and they have kids. And they still support their husbands in many ways. I've also met women who complain about their husbands being useless or like a child and they don't have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 10:28 PM
1

Depends on what you mean by alpha. If you mean treating all women like children, then she's going to be immature because you expect it. Just know that how you treat her mother and how you treat your daughter will be what informs her actions and judgements of men, but not necessarily what decides it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 07:43 PM
3

Depends on the woman. I've always liked guys who are nice to everyone, even if they don't gain anything from it, unless they're given a reason not to be so nice. If they share my interests in games, movies, and at least appreciate my nerdy obsessions, that's a huge plus. Not a fan of guys who make fun of popular things just because they're popular.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 07:17 PM
1

My sorry attempt to pm someone on mobile xD
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 03:42 PM
1

Lol... if you're curious I was trying to reply to someone else's comment, but the thread was locked so I tried to pm them...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 03:41 PM
1

Mods, pls delete lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 03:25 PM
4

I think the answer is that natural red pill men are only attracting women who are into that kind of thing. Personally, I like nice people. If my boyfriend had not been a nice guy, I wouldn't be with him now; if he practiced "dread game" and negged me, or acted like every time I was upset was some kind of shit test, I'd be pretty inclined to think he just wasn't that interested in me. So some girls like that, some girls don't. I feel like you self select for the girls that do if you practice RP t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 06:19 AM
4

Don't marry a woman who is AWALT. The mother of your daughters will be teaching them how to be a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/17 04:31 AM
2

No. Something interesting about interacting in person is that men and women still release pheromones even though they're unconscious of it. There was a study that postulated that kissing may have evolved so that women could smell their partners more closely and determine whether their genes would be helpful to their children.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 11:16 PM
1

What makes you say that? I honestly feel like I've only grown more sexually attracted as I've grown more emotionally attracted to my partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 11:13 PM
5

They do since I prefer relationships to random hookups.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 07:04 AM
3

To get laid by someone who's not interested in you as a person, sure. But to date and have fulfilling relationships you need more than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 06:56 AM
6

All of those words in combination with each other. When people say "she/he's not my type" they're referring to the fact that they're not attracted to that person for whatever reason (different lifestyle, viewpoints, values, looks, etc.). From what I've seen, everyone refers to "Chads" based on looks, which is not at all enough to be attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 06:47 AM
3

What does that mean? "Types are a meme"?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 06:20 AM
1

When I first meet people, I always file them away as certain things. People I would like to be friends with, people I can't stand, etc. I think with dating, you start with an already pretty specific group (people you would date), and then you must convince people in that group that you belong in their group of people they would date. So in short, yeah I think that's why people often have trouble dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 06:18 AM
2

The definition for celibate includes sexual relations and marriage....
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/17 04:59 AM
1

5 years, mid twenties. Not sure what big bills you're referring to, but we've lived together for 2 years and share most expenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 08:51 PM
1

I've been told I'm very attractive. Been catcalled by dudebros any time I dress up a little. Don't know what my SMV would be, but I'd guess an 8 at least. People used to think my boyfriend was gay because he dresses up nice, has a slight build, and is a total neat freak. Wouldn't trade him for anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 07:32 PM
4

I like to feel taken care of. But I also like to take care of my partner, because I remember the times that he's done the same for me. I think over time, we'll get rid of the toxic gender roles that have been the norm for so long. Men won't have to feel like they can't express any kind of doubts or stresses to their spouses and women won't have to feel like they can't rely on themselves when stresses and doubts hit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 07:24 PM
1

I make more money than current boyfriend, we're getting married as soon as we buy our first house together in the summer :P
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/17 06:45 PM
1

It's probably best for you not to have kids if you worry about someone screwing you over. But I think it really comes down to finding a woman you can trust not to try to screw you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 05:40 PM
2

Am currently, have been together for five years. His height doesn't bother me, it's actually perfect for cuddling since we're almost the same height :D
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 07:20 AM
2

Exactly! This is what I'm trying to explain. I know objectively speaking my guy is not a 10/10, but I really don't care because that emotional attraction factor puts him up there for me!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/17 12:01 AM
4

Which is why a lot of men who won't accept less than a 10/10 are shirking marriage. There's no shortage of average men and women marrying.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 10:17 PM
3

You're basically saying that unless a woman is having sex with a movie star she'll be unhappy? I really don't believe that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 10:13 PM
3

It's happened to me, and to several coworkers. If you find your partner physically and emotionally attractive, his attractiveness increases over time. Emotional attraction I would describe as wanting to be with that person without necessarily having sex. You actually prefer their company over other people at times, and you enjoy non sexual physical contact such as hugging or cuddling. But I think what you've seen in those couples is that the woman was never actually attracted to her partner, she…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 10:12 PM
3

Not true though. They want someone is sexually attractive to them, but not necessarily objectively attractive. Especially if his personality and confidence in himself more than makes up for that. Plus the longer you're with someone the more sexually attractive you find them, provided your emotional attraction doesn't wane.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 09:25 PM
4

Mmm but relationship studies show otherwise. Can't remember what it was called, but there was one where they put a number 1-10 on a bunch of guys and gals heads and told them to try to end up with the highest number possible. 90% of the time, they ended up picking the same number as themselves, because they would see how many or how few offers they were getting from others. I think most women don't care if they don't have the top 1% of men, as long as they feel that their man is someone they can…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 09:23 PM
1

Right that's what I'm saying lol farming = need for ownership.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 09:17 PM
3

Why should she care though? The whole argument is that a woman wants an absurdly attractive man who has options, but if anything I would think most women care more about who he is as a person when considering marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 09:16 PM
6

Why do you think no woman would be happy with an average man?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 09:13 PM
5

Even if your wife makes more money than you do?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 09:02 PM
1

I think the difference is in ownership. One common thread among indigenous people is that no one really owns anything-- it's usually communal property. Some peoples even feel/felt this way about sex. Can't remember the name of the tribe, but I saw an interview where a tribe expressed their view of paternity. They believed that all men in the village are fathers to all the children because they all had sex with the mothers and their collective semen formed the babies. That was their view on how b…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 06:43 PM
1

6) I don't, and I know several men and women who don't. There are more people who are open and honest in their relationships than there are not, IME. 8) Most women you've met are assholes. I've met more women who aren't than are, mostly because I select for nice, easy going people who don't make drama. 10) Not saying they don't, just that they matter less than you think. I didn't say I love heavier guys, just that a friend did, and fyi she did bang them on the reg, so safe to assume she was sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 06:30 PM
1

I think shallowness is more a reflection of your values and personality than your intelligence. Some women favor looks over other aspects, others don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 06:24 PM
4

I'd say it means fewer women are encouraged to go into STEM because of stereotypes that people think don't exist. One of the reasons I joined a STEM outreach program when I was in college was because I never felt encouraged to choose engineering, despite the fact that I had ability (top of my class) and interest in science/math. There are still pockets of the world where men (and some women!) in women's lives will discourage them from traditionally male dominated fields. Some reasons my family, …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 06:02 PM
2

That marriage changes your relationship! So many women I talk to say things like "wait till you get married." But then I find out the types of things they fought about, and what it really boils down to is that women are taught that a marriage is somehow more secure and better than a dating relationship. So they go into it expecting that suddenly the man they married will transform into this super romantic, idealized guy, when really it's the same relationship but with matching rings. Or a lot of…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 04:26 PM
2

1) I think it depends where you are in the relationship and how you define being nice. Don't be a pushover, but most women do like kind men. Personally, my boyfriend constantly kissing and holding me does make me want to sex him more. 2) I think the misunderstanding in this one is that people usually mean that you should be friends with your SO. Boyfriend and I weren't friends per se when we started dating, but because we nurtured a friend's first mentality, our relationship is stronger for it. …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 04:24 PM
5

A woman's sexuality being in her mind is not mystical, it's just fact. I'm always amazed at how at the slightest touch or indication, my boyfriend is ready to go in 3.5 seconds. No build up, nothing; and if he wants to cum, it just happens. If he initiates, I usually need a few minutes of dirty talk to get in the mood, and don't even get me started on cumming. The sheer amount of concentration needed to pull that off for some women (myself included) is ridiculous compared to men. If my feet are …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 03:54 PM
1

I'm not talking about sexism, I'm arguing that the woman orgasming just wasn't as important as the man, and even now it's more of a plus than a requirement. From a biological standpoint, it has no function in reproduction. From a relationship standpoint, most women I've talked to (including myself) would agree that an orgasm is unnecessary to enjoy sex. What is necessary, is enjoying your partner's company and/or feeling that he loves you in some way. From that, I think we can safely conclude th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 01:41 PM
2

Your explanation left a lot to be desired though, since you can't really define someone's value based on the arm candy they have. Like say a 10/10 woman willingly married a 5/10 guy (which happens! How many times have you heard guys/gals wonder how a guy landed a girl?). Is she now not high value, because she didn't inspire a hot guy to commit to her? What if she didn't like someone who you would call a high value man? Or what about communities where a girl has no top 10% of guys options? Is she…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 02:44 AM
2

Maybe... I guess I personally find it pretty gross. I don't like the idea of casual sex, so that would be a huge clash of values between me and a potential partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 02:37 AM
2

Where did anyone say any of this... as others have said, most women on here are already in fulfilling relationships....
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 02:35 AM
3

I've been told I'm very attractive because I'm mixed race, but I've never dabbled in casual sex as you say. I'm more inclined to agree with GinSmokeLies in regards to female sexuality; and I'd guess that the reason you haven't met any attractive women who haven't dabbled in casual sex is because you have casual sex yourself. Personally, I don't actually know any gals who had sex outside of a committed relatonship. Like attracts like, as they say.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 02:24 AM
1

Respectfully disagree. Guys who want kids and have to choose a gal but follow TRP will likely end up with a woman who perfectly demonstrates AWALT. Because they assume that's just how women are, and you have to put up with it to get sex and children. I only think of my dad, who married my mom after being the alpha playboy stereotype for a good while, and what a scary accurate picture of AWALT my mom is. If you don't expect anything more from women, which my dad didn't, you're not going to get an…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 12:39 AM
1

Not sure what you're referring to... If you're saying inability to climax isn't evolved, we're in agreement there, but arguably historically no one cared about the female orgasm until recently. So you wouldn't really know if more or fewer women were getting off now than in the past. Plus female orgasms are non-essential to reproduction, rendering it not really tied to our evolutionary history; you can argue it makes reproduction more likely since it makes women have it more often, but as long as…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 12:27 AM
2

I'd start by saying that evolution =! efficiency, many species are frequently "just good enough" to keep going. If you're going to make that point, might as well ask why your trachea shares an opening with your esophagus. My second thought is that having a psychological sex drive is actually more beneficial than harmful. Humans are social animals, and that has enabled us to accomplish together what other species have not. Thus, the ability to have and form emotional connections with other people…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 09:35 PM
3

But what is a high quality woman though? If you're just defining her by the type of man she's able to get, couldn't that make anyone a high quality woman? What happens if an objective 1/10 marries a 10/10 guy, does that make her high quality? Or if she's a 10/10 and gets commitment from some attractive guy but her personality/intelligence is a 0, is she still high quality? And I seriously doubt that religious "high quality women" will look the other way at a 40+ N count. If a movie star asked me…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 08:25 PM
1

Hmm, I guess my problem with TRP's method is that a lot of guys end up thinking that all women are immature, will withold sex/stop sex after marriage, and can't possibly love. So if you're assuming that, you're going to perpetuate it, because now it excuses that kind of behavior from women you meet. I'd argue a more effective approach would be to recognize the signs of that sort of women, then steer clear of them knowing that you're worth more than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 08:15 PM
3

Right, because women's sexuality is different. That's what I'm trying to say. I doubt most women would disagree with me when I say that for us, sex and sexual attraction is largely psychological. So if you're told for a significant part of your life that sex is dirty, it's not uncommon for women to develop huge problems with regards to sex. Like vaginismus, an involuntary clenching of your vagina that prevents intercourse. Similarly, for a lot of women, love and feelings of being loved are tied …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 08:09 PM
5

I disagree. If you describe a high quality woman as one who hasn't slept around, an alpha as a guy who gets a lot of NSA sex, and a beta as a guy who doesn't get a lot of sex, I think a lot of women would rather take the beta. I know I would.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 08:01 PM
3

But your OP states "so many", kind of implies a good number, doesn't it? Also, I would like to see that study above related to level of sex-positive education and religiousness. Most women I know who are sexually dysfunctional were taught that sex is dirty or wrong. They were told things like "nobody wants gum that's already been chewed", etc. For some, their identity gets so wrapped up in being a virgin, they can't even have sex with their husband once they're married. Many of them had never ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 06:53 PM
1

I don't think so, I think the only people who play games are immature or don't know any different. I told my now boyfriend straight away that I liked him before we started dating. I think the reason our relationship is still thriving after 5 years is that clear, honest communication is a constant between us.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 06:48 PM
3

Handsome is a compliment, it's just a little more familiar than "hot" or "cute". IME, I use handsome when I appreciate someone's good looks and have an emotional connection (call my boyfriend handsome regularly). But I use cute or hot when talking about guys I find attractive but have no connection to (movie stars for example). When I'm complimenting guy friends, I tell them they look good, or I like their shirt or something. Because I actually think they look good and have an emotional connecti…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 04:14 PM
4

Women appear to be relatively asexual to men because our sexuality manifests differently. Not many women can just have sex with someone because they're there and she's horny.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 03:10 PM
2

I'm saying if he was complaining about his job but not doing anything about it, that would bother me. As it is, he loves his job and pays his share of rent and bills on time, so I could care less what he does.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 05:33 AM
2

Ah yeah, ok I can see what you're saying now. I suppose the word power has a negative connotation to me. "Power corrupts" and all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 02:37 AM
2

Hmm I think that's a little different than what you were saying before though. Waiting for sex =! wanting all the emotional investment without sex. IME, the reason I waited 6 months to have sex with my partner is because I don't want to emotionally invest unless I know for sure the other person is emotionally invested in me. It's to keep from getting hurt, not to raise my SMV. Sex means I've fully given myself to someone, it's a risk I don't want to take with just anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 02:35 AM
2

Sure, my boyfriend also has debt, and I'll be helping him pay it down once I pay off my car later this year. But yeah, I can see how that kind of financial situation would be incompatible with having a family.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 01:05 AM
2

Ok, I guess where the misunderstanding is, is that I wouldn't consider that "power." Power implies you have someone beneath you in some way. Like a benevolent dictator or something. He could want the best for his people (or wife) but knows he can do whatever he wants, especially if he believes it's in their best interest. That's power. What I'm referring to, is more of a democracy. Both of you have valid points and want what's best for your country (or relationship), and you have equal power so …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 12:33 AM
11

Can't speak to that woman's feelings, but I'm a woman who makes more than her SO. About $20K more. It doesn't bother me. What would bother me, is if he had no passion for his job, no hobbies, yet complained about the lower salary. Or if he was pushing me to make more money without putting in the same effort into himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 12:25 AM
7

"If I wanted to get personal I'd get a dog." Kinda says it all about your pov I think. I don't think the majority of men are how she describes, but I definitely have met guys that fall into those descriptions. If you date a couple of guys like that, might be enough to make you swear off men. Kinda like how men date a couple of bad women and swear off them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/17 12:03 AM
2

What would you describe as feeling that you have power though? Feeling like you're less invested than the other person?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 11:51 PM
1

Mmm... I guess I don't believe in unconditional love, but my mom was abusive and loved my dad more than me and my siblings so.... I get what you're saying about biological clocks ticking, I definitely feel it and express that to my boyfriend, but really that's the only noticeable mental difference between me and him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 10:30 PM
2

That's assuming that women don't want sex at all though, which is problematic. Sex is one of the most important things to me in my relationship; it's what makes me feel more emotionally connected to my partner, and if he stopped wanting to have sex with me I would think the relationship was over.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 10:27 PM
2

I think if you're worried about who has more power in a relationship, you're in it for the wrong reasons. The best kind of relationship is one where you both feel important, to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 10:23 PM
3

Ah ok, I guess I didn't really understand what a beta orbiter was, since I often see them used interchangeably with male friends here. I think my point still stands, though. The real problem is that both parties should just be upfront with their feelings, and develop a healthier mentality towards relationships. Women should be more clear that they are not interested in romantic relationships, and men should make it more clear that they are. This whole thing about power plays just perpetuates an …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 10:15 PM
7

I feel that the boiling down of relationships to power plays is where people go wrong. It's why people end up playing games with each other instead of being upfront and honest about their feelings. The kinds of things people describe as "beta orbiter things" to do are things I do with my girl and guy friends, and offer to both as well (talking about giving car rides, providing emotional support, and being a shoulder to cry on). In other words, it's not that women are trying to extract emotional …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 07:48 PM
3

Your example is problematic, because that guy actually IS abusive and controlling. Wanting your wife to take care of the home because she doesn't work? That's fine, and should be the expectation, because if she's not working her job is to take care of the home. It's not abuse as long as you have calm, loving discussions about what you both want a "taken care of home" to look like. I happily do chores around the house when boyfriend asks and I also work full time. But wanting the home to be taken…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 06:40 PM
1

Meh, I wouldn't really call a lot of that biological programming though. My outlook is almost 100% the same as my boyfriend's, and that's just a result of my experiences and the parenting I grew up with. My focus, priorities, and expectations are also very similar, I'd say the only difference is that he has no idea what I mean when I say I can't wait to get pregnant lol that part I will admit is biological. But I can't discern any other noticeable differences between our behavior. I think a lot …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 06:31 PM
4

What about women like me, who love their boyfriends and husbands because they're kind, responsible, and shower us with affection? Heck, if that makes for a boring partner, I choose to be bored for the rest of my life!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 06:23 PM
2

We both are, and yeah it sucks man but the way we see it best we can do is keep working hard and eventually we'll get there.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 05:04 AM
1

I absolutely agree with you, as a female engineer myself haha
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 04:56 AM
2

Probably not for several years, gotta work on helping him pay off his debts first haha
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 03:43 AM
2

I think the last one is the one I'm most passionate about. I think the problem with being sexist and allowing sexism is that it hurts men and women who don't exactly match up to people's beliefs of what a man or woman looks and acts like. As for facts, my take is that it depends on your beliefs. Like it's not sexist to say that men are on average physically stronger and larger than women, because they are. But it is sexist to presume that a man must be larger and stronger than the woman he's wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 03:38 AM
3

Lol, he's not in pain at all, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 02:50 AM
2

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 02:19 AM
2

Praise unto kek that my boyfriend is one of those "beta" boys!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 02:18 AM
6

Not at all, just that I believe the term sexism has a negative connotation for a reason and should stay that way. As for misogyny, I do not conflate that with sexism nor do I think feminists should-- as another commenter said, I just think it is a more maliciously intended and directed form of sexism towards women. Sexism can be purely innocent, but it is still harmful for both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 01:52 AM
2

Not saying that prejudices don't creep into our everyday interactions with the opposite sex, even for self-proclaimed progressives. But they can still hurt. For instance, men who can't do things that a woman cannot or will not do or women who can. I mean some things are just biologically different, like men inherently have an easier time opening jars because they've got different skin structure than women, but in general I think a lot of sexual dimorphism in humans is a little exaggerated. I gue…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 01:48 AM
2

Thanks, my hope is that if we raise our future kids with a more gender neutral approach, things might turn out better for future generations.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 01:39 AM
2

Question: what benefits do you think they recieve? Asking because I know I treat my boyfriend preferentially, but not with sexism.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 01:24 AM
7

I wouldn't describe sexism as only believing there's a difference between genders, that can make innocent behaviours seem less harmful than they actually are. Sexism has a negative connotation because it really refers to prejudices by people who believe common stereotypes that hurt both genders. For instance, someone believes men are inherently the smarter sex, and actively discourages their daughter from intellectual pursuits. Or believes men must always approach and act a certain way, and acti…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 01:15 AM
2

I agree, so essentially any amount of sexism will have a negative consequence on one gender. The goal should be no sexism at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/17 12:53 AM
2

Sorry you feel that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/17 03:47 AM
4

That's great, live life to the fullest! And I never said we were bored haha. Neither of us find spontaneously jumping off of cliffs very fun, but we have a lot of fun playing video games with friends and finding new hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/17 03:44 AM
6

Like another commenter mentioned below, I think most people would consider what you describe as part of growing up. At some point, if you want to have kids and retire before you're too old to do anything, you have to get into a rut of working and doing chores and not having as many spontaneous plans. But while it may look boring to you, most people are pretty happy with the direction their life is going, IME. Boyfriend and I slave away at our jobs and hardly make plans throughout the week or wee…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/17 02:56 AM
1

Yeah, maybe there's just not as much pressure on girls from a young age to be more interesting than that. I know my mom never pushed my sister or I to be interested in anything other than makeup, drama, and boys. Which is sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/17 01:54 AM
1

That's so sad, though. I know my mom is like this, and I can see it affecting my dad's relationship with her, but I really just can't understand how you could want to spend your life with someone who has no intellectual curiosity whatsoever. My mom didn't even know oxygen is fuel for fire until a few months ago....
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/17 12:45 AM
1

Yeah, that doesn't sound great either. But these guys that are complaining to me seem to think all they have in common with their wives is the kids, and I can't help but wonder why you would pursue a long term relationship without any kind of common interest as a foundation. For example, boyfriend and I game together and enjoy the same types of movies, but we also have other things we like to do separately. I'd like to think that once we have kids we'll still at least enjoy spending time togethe…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/17 12:34 AM
1

Why do you think men and women are so different? Upbringing? Genetics? I feel like I have more in common with my boyfriend than I do with a lot of women I've met, but I think I've always been a little bit of a tomboy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/17 12:28 AM
2

That seems so sad to me... not having hobbies I mean. What do you do with your life if you're not passionate about anything. But I suppose that goes back to having the same values as your partner, and some couples don't value hobbies as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/17 12:23 AM
1

Part of the reason I asked is because my relationship dynamic is a lot like yours... boyfriend and I do a lot of things together. We have separate interests, yeah, but we're each other's best friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/17 12:17 AM
3

I hear a lot of complaints from men I work with that their wife hates video games or doesn't like certain things. Not so much from women I work with that their man won't join a sewing club with them lol. But my boyfriend and I game together, so maybe that's why they complain to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 10:02 PM
1

I meant more common dealbreakers, like whether or not you want to have kids, how you both like to spend money (do you see value in saving for a future or spending now?) and religion is sometimes a huge deal breaker for religious and non-religious folks.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 09:15 PM
4

Ah yeah, that makes total sense, I think my partner and I do this kind of automatically. I'm always trying to learn new things and so is he, so I guess our common interest is mostly being passionate about always learning.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 08:49 PM
3

Actually, I think I read a study that said exactly what you're saying here. Women would turn down sex with strangers unless they were guaranteed an orgasm. Men don't have to worry about that, since for most heterosexual pairings, a man's orgasm is the end of a sexual encounter.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 06:13 PM
12

I don't think it's productive to argue that another side is priveleged. You could argue that I'm at a disadvantage as a female engineer (and one psychology grad's project tried to get me to say that for their project) but I have outperformed the men my own age in my group and been subsequently recognized. By which I mean I willingly worked late, took on difficult projects, etc. As for casual sex, I've never wanted to have it, so the fact that I'm more privileged for it is kind of a moot point.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 04:51 PM
7

I think it's weird. Coming from someone who has been told she looks 14 but is in her mid 20s. You get a lot of creepers when you're baby faced.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 04:03 PM
2

I think it really depends on the person's environment. Gender ratios play a big part of it; my computer engineer and electrical engineer friends who were male were largely single because their major is ~6% girls, meaning they had to go outside their major and friend group to find someone. Meanwhile, my female friends in the same major were all either married or in LTRs with other engineers by the time I'd graduated. In chemical engineering, where it's more a 50/50 split, there was an even number…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/17 02:19 PM
1

I don't think so, all alcohol does is lower your inhibitions. Whenever I'm really drunk, the only person I want to have sex with is my boyfriend. I start getting more handsy with him. Or, if I'm out with coworkers, I drunk sext him. He reacts the same way, too. I've heard stories where friends of friends got drunk and cheated, and I wasn't that surprised. The girl or guy who cheats is always kind of a jerk to their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 06:06 PM
2

It definitely did for me. I used to want sex almost every day with my boyfriend, now I have trouble getting wet, so we use lube mostly. But, his sex drive is lower than mine, anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 05:56 PM
2

Together five years, looking to get married as soon as we can afford it. As others have said, he's my best friend. We play lots of video games together, share a lot of the same friends and interests, and if we need alone time, we're comfortable doing different things in the same room. We can talk for hours, and sometimes accidentally talk longer than we meant to. Best chemistry for a relationship is one where you feel like a team against everything life throws at you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 05:45 PM
4

I think ideally your lows shouldn't outweigh your highs. But the few times either of us have gotten seriously upset with each other, we would talk it out and try to understand where we each were coming from. Because in the back of both our heads, we still love each other and we don't want some stupid fight to mess things up between us. Remember that love is a choice, and part of loving someone is knowing you don't want to hurt them, you just feel hurt. You're a team versus the problem. But that …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 05:38 PM
2

Try to find a woman that doesn't care just about your success and financial security, that's a good way to get hurt. I think the best relationship is one where both of you are working towards some mutual goals (buying a house, being able to travel regularly, etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 03:59 AM
1

I think it depends on the man. But people in my social circle have described my boyfriend and I as a middle aged couple in our 20s lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 03:38 AM
3

I think the ideal situation is that you and your partner build your future together. Boyfriend and I have been together 5 years, planning on getting a house when our lease expires-- both of us work late and work hard, because we want to get to a place where neither of us have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 03:09 AM
1

You're right, I can be sexually attracted to someone else. Just like he is still sexually attracted to other women. In fact, we usually check out sexy people together. But neither of us stray, because we don't want to be with those other men or women. We don't know if those people fold towels the way we like it, if they're a slob, if they spend their money on junk or drugs. Kind of generic examples, but you know what I mean. We consider each other our best friends first, it's not worth breaking …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 02:56 AM
1

So yeah, since I've met someone I consider my best friend, I wouldn't consider him interchangeable unless push came to shove
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 01:35 AM
1

Do you think your friends are interchangeable? Would you trade a friend for some random guy or gal? And no, but everyone has unique quirks that may or may not be annoying to other people, so I'd say that's more what I was going for.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/17 12:10 AM
1

I knew I was looking for someone whose personality meshed with mine and who laughed at the same things I did, and whose quirks I found endearing instead of annoying. But I want to ask you: do you find your friends so interchangeable? He's my best friend first.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 10:29 PM
1

Not really, everyone has different personalities, senses of humor, and little things that they do thag someone else might not. I also don't see him as so interchangeable, I don't want another guy. Do you feel like your friends are interchangeable?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 07:49 PM
1

I think one of the most attractive things to me in a man is facial hair, so maybe I lean more towards masculine features. But I also like prominent cheekbones and pointed chins, which could be feminine traits? I have more feminine features; small nose, rounder face, high cheekbones, soft chin
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 07:16 PM
3

His personality, his sense of humor, the little quirks he has that no one but me knows about. When you spend enough time with someone, you get to see them for who they really are. So if someone else is objectively "better", I don't really notice, since the years we've spent together make him more valuable to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/17 01:36 AM
2

Curious, how long did you date before getting married? My boyfriend and I divide everything pretty much equally, and we're still pretty happy after 5 years. However, we see a lot of unhappy relationships in our peers because they usually get married 1-2 years into the relationship. So they have to slam learning how to live together and financially work things out all at once, and most of them end up hugely resenting each other. Not to mention they usually wait until after they're married to figu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 01:45 AM
6

A lot of abusers of both sexes can hide really well. They're usually the nicest guy/gal and perfect partner until they lock you down. Even after that, some of them even know how to appear perfect to everyone but their partner or close family. As for the less hidden ones, where signs are everywhere, it's usually because the abused partner is damaged in some way. They've usually been abused before by their parents, friends, or previous partners, so they don't actually know how to separate love fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/17 01:34 AM
3

I agree with you. Boyfriend and I are looking to get married once we can afford a house, and this pretty much describes our relationship now. Our friends and family have told us they think our relationship is the best example of what they'd want when they find someone, and the reason it works so well is because we're both willing to work hard in our careers and sacrifice to build our future together.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 07:01 PM
3

I initiated everything with my boyfriend, from first kiss to sex. We talk about it sometimes now, and I think it's sweet because he was just trying not to mess up what we had. I haven't lost any attraction to him, been together 5 years. If anything, I feel more attracted to him now than I did when we first started dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 05:03 PM
2

Valid points, but I'd add that confidence is desirable by both sexes. I know one of the things that attracts him to me is that I also am strong in my opinions and know who I am, it just happens that we share most of the same values and opinions. I think the main thing about RP that bothers me, is that it insinuates that women want to be coddled, that we're all immature and just want a man to make decisions for us until we have an opportunity to leave him for another man. So to be "alpha", you ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/17 04:31 PM
2

Because the descriptions of alphas I see on here seem to emphasize maintaining some sort of emotional distance from women and making them feel like you never lose your cool or you could leave them at any moment. But my guy shares his thoughts and feelings with me every day. He treats me like his partner, so he wants my opinion on life decisions that might affect me. He dotes on me fairly frequently, and I return the favor, especially when he is sick or not feeling well (has frequent migraines). …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 06:45 PM
1

I think so. I think girls who are "sluttier" are usually also more outgoing and not shy. I tend to be really shy around new people, especially if my friends or boyfriend isn't with me, and I never really got a whole lot of male attention growing up. Conversely, my more outgoing girlfriends have had tons of boyfriends, ONS, etc. As someone else said up top though, I never really wanted a lot of boyfriends, just wanted to find the one guy who was right for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 01:01 AM
7

I wouldn't. I think my boyfriend is "beta" by TRP standards, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/17 12:36 AM
1

I still see people as human, I would just say I lose respect for their opinion, and it's hard to be friends with someone you don't respect. I think that's true for most relationships actually. I've always cared about intellectual curiosity, as far as I can remember, but that's why most of my friends are not the type of men and women who roll over and let someone tell them something without evidence. It's nice when everyone is fact-checking each other all the time, you're always learning. It depe…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/17 08:36 PM
1

I grew up religious, so I know a lot of people who refuse to acknowledge any kind of science or facts that contradicted their beliefs. Some were even hardcore young-earthers. But mostly the thing that bothers me and loses my respect is when somebody refuses to consider any evidence that contradicts their beliefs. I can be friends with and have friends who are of a different political ideology, faith, etc., as long as they're able to admit when they're wrong; I will gladly admit when I am factual…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/17 07:23 PM
10

Question, what is a quality woman to you? Would it bother you if a woman had several boyfriend's before you? Or is it mostly just the idea of someone being able to have casual sex that bothers you? Asking because I know I personally don't find men who sleep around very attractive, but if they had the same number of partners (within reason) and they were all from relationships, it wouldn't bother me as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/17 04:13 AM
1

You're right, I'm not dumb, which is why I can recognize when a discussion won't go anywhere. But if you must know, yes, I have lost friends over core beliefs, like extreme christian fundamentalism and refusal to believe anything scientific. I've also lost a close friend who started subscribing to trp-like beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/17 03:19 AM
4

Definitely not true. Women are their own people, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/17 02:16 AM
5

Lol, classic double standard you've got there "it's different if a man does it! Women are so dishonest!!1!" Who cares, in both the outcome is the same. Partner changes, so you leave. Let me try to explain, using your definition of "objective". It's not the way he makes me feel that matters, it's who, objectively, he is. Because I've objectively defined him as an honest, kind, driven, and dependable man. Not because he makes me feel that way, but because I see him in every day life and at home, h…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/17 12:59 AM
4

And I'm sure no trper on here would ever leave their wife if she gained 100 lbs and refused to lose it or suddenly became abusive. Or dream of dumping a girl once they got bored. Nope, no one has ever left anyone in cases like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 11:02 PM
1

I'm financially independent, generally clean and take care of myself, nice unless you give me reason not to be, so yeah. Didn't know that's all it takes to be a high class woman lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 08:30 PM
1

I suppose because a better analogy would be: Poor guy A supposes that rich guy C is an asshole from his prior experience with rich guy D. Rich guy C states that is not true, but has sympathy for poor guy A's experience with assholes. Poor guy A does not listen, and spits in rich guy C's direction. Poor guy B states that he's met nice rich people before. Poor guy A concludes that maybe nice rich people exist, but they're rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 08:09 PM
2

I haven't really thought of myself as better than other women, but I am happily in a relationship with a man who treats me very well. I suppose my main issue is I can't believe that the majority, or even a large portion of women, would treat men any differently than I treat my boyfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 07:59 PM
4

I've been with my partner 5 years, would not dream of leaving him for someone else. Unless he drastically changed, in which case, he's not really the man I loved anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 07:02 PM
1

Love how you ignored my point about laws, which by the way, are actually objectively defined. As for your last paragraph, yeah you can have friends with different backgrounds, nothing wrong with that. Plenty of men have friends who don't believe the same things they do. If you're saying that you have to agree with your friends on everything, then you're being solipsistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 06:56 PM
1

Except some of the core tenets state that's "how you think." Things like all women are immature, all women are solipsistic, all women are machiavellian, etc. Would you take it personally if women stated that all men want from women is sex? I know men that do. Generalizing a gender does no good for anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 06:47 PM
1

The problem with your analogy is that you're implying that I'm complaining with the guys here and then haughtily revealing I'm a woman with privileges not afforded to men. What I meant by my earlier comment, was when people on this sub took others' opinions/experiences more seriously if they said they were a man, and discounted all of their input, sometimes very condescendingly, if they were a woman. One example I can think of, is when a man on here expressed there might be some confirmation bia…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 06:11 PM
1

I'm thinking more in terms of the benefits women get from society as a whole, but by the same token I suppose there are ways men are treated better, too (usually, they're taken more seriously). I do agree in terms of dating, though, I wouldn't be with my boyfriend if he treated me like trp advocates.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 02:10 PM
1

I can agree with a lot of what you're saying; I still think the disparity in treatment is unfair, but I recognize that a lot of the reason for it is men who treat women better than other men. For example, I know a coworker who will prioritize a pretty girl's request over a guy's. I also agree that women getting better treatment and more compliments from most guys is not an excuse for treating them poorly, which is why I have trouble sympathizing with rp guys. But their methods do work on women w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/17 01:34 PM
24

It's hard for me to sympathize with men who tell me that they know me better than myself, or whose tone shifts as soon as they know that I'm a woman. But I will say that I do feel more aware of how unfairly women are catered to, even though it gets wildly blown out of proportion sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 05:52 PM
1

I'm usually nice to everyone (smile, ask people about their day, strike up conversations with strangers)... unless I don't like their personality at all. It has caused some misunderstandings, where guys thought I was interested and tried to buy me things, kiss me, etc. It's really frustrating actually, I just like to make people feel noticed when I see they're feeling down.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/17 05:12 PM
1

We're just very compatible. Have a lot of common interests and separate hobbies that we can pursue without making each other feel lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 05:04 PM
2

I would describe it as I already value my boyfriend more than other guys based on the 5 years of experiences we've shared, or rather, because we're very similar personality-wise and genuinely like hanging out together. I'm still attracted to other guys, but my guy is also still attracted to other girls; we point out 10/10s to each other all the time because it's fun to check out hot people. There are some nice booties out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 06:41 AM
1

Maybe, but I would argue they're not tendencies, but instincts? As in women have them, but could ignore them if they really tried.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 02:42 AM
1

I know you're right lol but it's fun to read his responses about typical wimmins
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 02:35 AM
2

I frequently get lunch with male coworkers... it is most certainly not a date. I suppose I should have specified that she worked in a male dominated field, so most of her friends and coworkers were male. Either way, my point is that feelings of betrayal are subjective, thus loyalty is inherently so. Would it be more valid if my boyfriend was making this statement, lol. How do you define honor? What makes someone dishonorable? I will agree that a system of morality can be defined, as in, you can …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 01:58 AM
1

I was mostly joking, I just find it interesting after reading his comments how different his tone is when talking to someone he "knows" is male or female after asking
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 01:41 AM
1

I'm not sold on this whole idea of hypergamy in women... sure, you can find guys with money, good looks, and charm to be attractive, but I've never felt any desire to leave my partner for that idealized guy nor have I ever felt afraid that I couldn't find someone else. I think the root of those two extremes you listed is an inability to recognize that people can have feelings, but they're not necessarily acting on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 01:38 AM
2

As soon as I stated I was a woman to SetConsumes, my arguments became invalid, or I was behaving like a typical woman. But since you have not stated you are a man or a woman, he seems more receptive to your argument of confirmation bias. Perhaps I should make a new account and state I'm a man; would be an interesting social experiment, don't you think?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 01:01 AM
3

Ok, let me put it this way. Can the meaning of loyalty or honor change from person to person? If the answer is yes, it is, by definition, subjective. Because all of those things you listed are influenced by feelings: feelings of betrayal, feelings of disgust, feelings of love. I had a friend who felt betrayed because his girlfriend would grab lunch with a male coworker. He accused her of disloyalty. Another friend's sister accused her boyfriend of disloyalty because he liked a girl's picture on …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 12:49 AM
1

Oh, I was more referring to making out with a guy or buying them drinks despite being in a relationship. In my acquaintance's case, they made out with someone else on a trip abroad. I know it was because of low self esteem because she would need constant validation that she was pretty and talented; she just decided to seek it elsewhere when her bf was away.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/17 12:04 AM
1

Agreed! I hear so many men I work with complain about how little they have in common with their wives, and I can't help but think if they had waited for a bit they could've met someone that they truly enjoyed spending time with.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 11:59 PM
5

Lol, I didn't say that they couldn't be true or known, just that they can't be factually proven. All those things you just listed are subjective, you can't objectively say that someone else loves someone; by their experience, or interpretation of love, they might actually only like them as friends. You can say that you love someone, but even then, that's a subjective experience-- by someone else's definition you might not love that person at all. Similarly, you should know that cultures differ b…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 11:45 PM
5

If you're arguing about an abstract topic, by definition it can't be factual... the meaning of abstract is an idea not ground in concrete evidence. There is no process for that, and I'll tell you why. Everything we do has to be backed by information; if I don't have hard data showing that something will occur, I must at least have a convincing trend correlating to the event so that I can say that it might happen unless we take proactive measures. Male and female engineers will listen to data pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 09:32 PM
7

I'm a female engineer. Facts and making your point with data are part of my job. If I just argued with probability, credibility, and patterns, then I probably wouldn't be taken very seriously in my field. And when I argue with my boyfriend about our separate beliefs, we both generally use what we've come to understand and are open to changing our views when presented with different evidences. You're making a huge generalization about how all women act.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 09:12 PM
1

I just can't fathom what makes some women do that, I personally don't buy being drunk as an excuse, but I do know of one woman who was in my friend circle using that. She had really low self esteem though, which I think probably contributes to that sort of behavior more often than not.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 08:27 PM
5

Curious, why do you say there are no intellectual women?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 06:44 PM
1

Been with my SO 5 years. We are as transparent with each other as we can be. We share a bank account, tell each other just about everything (I tell my friends if they tell me a secret, expect it to make it back to my guy but no further), and let each other know what plans we make with others and when. We mostly hang out with friends together (shared friend groups) but we're also comfortable hanging out separately, we'd just rather hang out with each other. We build each other up (celebrate promo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 03:35 PM
1

Jesus that's terrible. I know a lot of great women and I am one, so I'm not inclined to think that AWALT, but she was very clearly giving you signals. If you're married and not looking to score, you shouldn't be buying some rando drinks and dancing with him like you're single. I know the first thing I try to work into any convo with guys I think might be interested is that I have a boyfriend; it's just common courtesy at that point, so they don't waste their time and you don't end up in an uncom…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/17 03:22 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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