| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 774 | Don't send nudes to friend-turned hookups!! | Story time ☕ | Juunbuug | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 11:24 AM |
| 39 | Looking for advice: What is the right way to communicate my intention? | SEEKING ADVICE | Juunbuug | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/19 02:59 AM |
| 14 | Thoughts about healing from past relationships? | Juunbuug | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/20 02:27 PM | |
| 1 | Looking for advice: how to communicate needs and standards? | Juunbuug | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/19 03:29 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 91 | A collection of recent bios I’ve seen on OLD, and their translations"I am an open book" = I will not share any info unless you ask, and even then I might lie to you but you can try | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 08:17 PM |
| 128 | Hookup culture is a scamYes yes yes! Echoing with a lot of what you're saying... one of the few times I hooked up with a complete stranger was not fun. We ended up at his place, which was atrocious - messy bed sheet, unwashed plates and dishes - dude didn't even bother to turn the light on, probably not wanting to expose the messiness. I wish I had told him it grossed me out and stopped right then and there, but the "cOoL girl" hat was too tight to take off. At the end, he was like, "look, you're not my type, so I don'… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/11/21 03:11 PM |
| 40 | Remember to give low-income males a chance, ladies! Don't be classist! /sLol he knew dating him is a vicious cycle | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/11/21 03:07 PM |
| 24 | Another red flag from Chris Pratt’s captionIs he joking??? Was this meant to be funny? Was this supposed to make him a better, bigger person? But this is NOT funny, makes him look shitty, and self centered. This is SO not funny. I always thought he was half a decent man when I watched Parks & Rec. But apparently I am wrong. Poor Katherine Schwarzengger. Her parents and even herself are ok with these chauvinistic jokes?? (And yes in this photo he does look like a bigger (read: chubbier) person.) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/21 10:04 PM |
| 110 | So many timesAaaaaaaaaaaand they said WE are emotional! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 07:35 PM |
| 159 | Beware the hobosexual and other bumsI saw a Netflix Series, Dirty John, that is exactly about a hobosexual relationship. A self-made, beautiful mid-aged lady caught the eye of a hobo man. After the first date, he immediately started to sweet talk her into letting he move in, he acted violent and malicious towards people around her (including her family) so she alienated them, and he proposed a joint account soon after they moved in so he migrated her assets to his. It was painful to watch how she was taken advantage of and slipped… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 04:30 PM |
| 2 | Twitter Tales: #7536 reason why I avoid men like the Bubonic plagueMe too! I found it ridiculous in the beginning, but the more I watched (it's such a rabbit hole that I voluntarily fell down), the more concerned and disgusted I felt about Coltee and Debbie... Colt has gaslit so many women, including Venessa. When she refused to be his girlfriend, his first reaction was "what was wrong with you?" I am like, dude, everything is wrong WITH YOU. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/21 03:04 PM |
| 2 | Twitter Tales: #7536 reason why I avoid men like the Bubonic plagueColt & Debbie | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/21 10:39 PM |
| 262 | *internal screaming, forever*Also, imagine how big his dental bill was going to be down the road... without insurance, a root canal is like $2,000 a pop. She doesn't need to be a part of that ! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/10/20 12:42 PM |
| 3 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.Yeas Preach : ) !!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 12:14 AM |
| 24 | To level up, you need to realize your worth and break all the habits that are not serving you well. A pandemic and civil unrest is STILL not an excuse to allow your ex access to your presence & time now that they are all alone. They have PLENTY of time to reflect on their actions on their own.I was in this situationship with this man last summer. He was a soft-spoken, gentle, friendly person, but things didn't work out between us because I was moving to a nearby state, and he didn't want to engage in a long distance relationship. We toyed around a FWB situation, but I decided it wasn't for me, so we left it at that. This man has a habit of 'staying friends' with his ex-es, including me. He'd pop into my mailbox every now and then, with 'hi, how are you?' or 'I saw this, thinking of y… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 06:00 PM |
| 13 | Dude tells me we shouldn’t waste each other’s time after I asked if his family is accepting of him dating outside of his race/religion??Oh man, that is sad. I agree with so many of the comments here. Being a grown-up psychologically also means a (healthy) severance from parents' expectations. For example, we derive affirmation from what we accomplish, rather than from validation from our parents. This is a painful process, because most of us are so used to getting the sense of fulfillment from our parents "baby you did so well!" when we achieve things, and this needs to be changed. Otherwise we will forever be begging for valida… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/05/20 01:05 PM |
| 3 | The biggest ‘signs’ a man will ACTUALLY be good in bed, in my optionNon taken! And no, not Maryland. What you all said is entirely possible! I will keep an eye out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/20 11:51 AM |
| 13 | The biggest ‘signs’ a man will ACTUALLY be good in bed, in my optionI agree with this in principle, and have positive experience with men who are attentive in daily lives who are attentive lovers and sexual partners. However, the most recent person I am seeing is an anomaly. I was actually speaking to him about this earlier. He is very caring, sensitive, and in tune with his emotions. He is compassionate (understand where other people come from), willing to give (would offer to help others move, for example), and take care of people (when he comes to my place, h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/20 03:41 AM |
| 4 | I asked him why he's poly and the answer is what you'd expect.Feeling so much about this, sis. Agreeing with everyone that you dodged a bullet! Being poly is a choice. I have considered poly in my pick-me days, and it requires a high degree of trust, a solid foundation, and a lot of communication. For most people, including me, it is a theory that is difficult to execute. For one, as somebody mentioned earlier in the thread, we only have 24 hours per day, 7 days per week, and we have limited mental energy. We want to create value in the society, care for p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/20 09:18 PM |
| 6 | Another reason not to date older menI feel you so much in your response. Sending you a big hug. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/20 01:31 PM |
| 69 | Give him just enough reason to approach YOU, not the other way around!Yes!! As my best friend always says, "let the boys chase the beautiful girls a bit". Yes! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/20 01:27 PM |
| 1 | The small things count.Thank you!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/20 08:48 PM |
| 18 | The small things count.I love this! Super relatable example and important lesson. Some people don't work as hard, are mediocre lovers, and expect you to be okay with it. I used to casually see this person. We started our conversation on Instagram (your classic Dm-ing) after meeting each other at an event. Every time he asked me to hang out (usually pretty late at night), it'd be through DMs, even after I shared my numbers. He asked me out, invited me to his place (which I went), and initiated sex. I felt icky and weir… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/20 12:43 PM |
| 31 | Tips for college-aged womenYesss, agreed! This rule still applies to men in graduate schools (med schools, business schools, etc.). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/20 11:52 PM |
| 5 | Why do men think having negative bios will attract women? Doesn’t seem logical to me 🤔e apps. I read an article recently about it - I think it was in the Atlantic. Men literally tweaking their profiles or deleting and starting over again so they can show up to everyone again. Great article. Had so much fun reading it. Thank you for sharing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/20 12:39 PM |
| 3 | The film was about a woman finding her power and getting rid of a LVM. Midsommar by Ari AsterVery interesting, thanks for sharing! Out of curiosity: why do you disagree that the bf's death is a punishment of his bad behaviors? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/20 02:48 AM |
| 34 | The film was about a woman finding her power and getting rid of a LVM. Midsommar by Ari AsterOooh, I LOVE this show. Seen the cut version, would love to see the unedited version. There are so many occult stuff in there, the cinematography is absolutely stunning, the psychotraumatic analysis is so on point. Can't recommend it enough!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/20 03:24 PM |
| 47 | How to turn your FWB/fling into a HVM boyfriend!Preach! I have definitely mistaken booty calls with serious dates, mixed horniness with the desire to "get to know me better and hang out", and have felt remorse with thoughts that "had I not done that, perhaps he wouldn't have mistaken my intention and knew I was looking for more than hooking ups". Till this day, these thoughts still pop by every now and then. But men know what they want. They are more intentional than women, in some cases. They would want to draw the line clear if they wanted … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/02/20 07:21 PM |
| 1 | First time being actually singleAmen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/20 12:17 PM |
| 4 | Practice FDS - watch the LVM expose themselves. A story of the lowest effort exposure ever (texting....)I absolutely agree. There is a reason why we decided to break up with that person. And if that reason hasn't been addressed, getting back with that person doesn't change much. I have this friend who was dating this man for a few years. Most of the time they were in the same country, but a year ago they started doing long distance. He initially demanded more time with her - twice phone calls per day, not liking it when she went out to socialize, etc., - she complied, then he pushed for more. At s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/20 03:46 PM |
| 47 | Reminder Men ain’t shit and they know what their doing when they don’t make you a priority. Cut Your loses and BLOCK.PREACH! I also realized that, in most cases, fuckboys always come back. They. always. come. back, lurking around, texting you "whattup" at midnight, like a ghost haunting around. In contrast, good men almost never.come.back - when they said they are done, they are genuinely done - no more time wasted, energy invested, because they know when to cut loose, when to make a decision good for his mental health (and/or our mental health too). Obviously there are exceptions, and I have certainly heard "… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/20 11:27 AM |
| 9 | LVM negging women on Tinder.LMAO queen response !!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 01:41 AM |
| 15 | For any pickmeishas still wondering, FDS works.This is beautiful. I am so proud to be here and witness your journey. Good job!!!! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/20 02:11 PM |
| 36 | You gals were right. Thank you.Thank you for sharing your experience. Your emotions feel real - the confusion, the sadness and disappointment, and the decisiveness, too. I used to date this man. His acts of service is excellent - he would drive me to anywhere I asked for, including picking me up/dropping me off from dates, even driving me across states so that I could drop something off to my family, paying for every single date, really, really selfless and caring during sex,... anything but committing to a relationship. I us… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/20 06:03 AM |
| 3 | Never met a straight guy who wanted to be my friend without some intentionStartling* - sorry!!! I hope you feel better & have gotten over your ex now! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 04:00 PM |
| 6 | I love my freedomGood questions! I have been thinking about this since I saw your post. The biggest takeaway for me is probably the realizations that (1) we are the most important thing ever, and whatever relationships surround us have to be supportive of our personal growth and development. I just got out of a five year-relationship, struggled for a year to stay single - hanging on to romance, deriving happiness from others - but now I am happily single; It took me a while to get used to this, but the freedom i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 12:29 PM |
| 5 | Never met a straight guy who wanted to be my friend without some intentionOh, my god. Starling. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 12:20 PM |
| 10 | I love my freedomAmen! This sub has changed how I look like relationship, self-love, and men significantly. I am so grateful for having everyone here. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 02:13 AM |
| 33 | Never met a straight guy who wanted to be my friend without some intentionThis is so true. There is this guy "friend" (in quotation mark b/c we had barely interacted throughout the year). He's always been around, flirting with some girls here and there, but I wasn't interested. A few weeks ago, he asked me to hang out in the name of "we haven't caught up for a long time", which I agreed, so we grabbed a couple drinks. It started out pretty platonic, but as we started sharing dating failures, he invited me up for a drink at his place. It was close to 10pm, and I wanted… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/20 06:38 PM |
| 7 | d0n’T cATCh FeELiNGs bEcAUSe TRUsT mE MY diCK iS mAGIcaL 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡He forgot an "e" after his name. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/20 02:52 PM |
| 22 | He might not be LVM but I’m not waiting around to find outI agree with ParkingAct & BabyGothQ. Also, personal petpeeve: when a guy says he's an "open book", or whatever he's doing is an ''open book", I developed an allergic reaction to it. This phrase is reactive, almost passive aggressive. They wouldn't tell you anything proactively, but they'd answer whatever questions you have. Not lying, but not forthcoming either. This bugs me. A red flag. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 02:31 PM |
| 10 | Distinguishing the details in fuckboys and lvms. A roadmap to protecting yourself from heartbreak and dangerous menEchoing this 100 times. Putting case in point: one person I dated was an "average fuck boy", never (needed to or) worked too hard in his life, surfing through his privilege. Once he's attracted by someone fun, he'd act like a distracted little boy and went for it 100%, completely forgetting what he was supposed to do or with someone who he was with. Like dogs with short attention span. Another person I dated was ADHD big time, highly intelligent, but just could not sit quiet for one second. Lite… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/20 12:56 AM |
| 23 | Arranged for a first date this weekend from OLD - red flags through conversation forced me to cancel it yesterday.Well done! Our time and energy is the most precious thing in the world. Definitely not worth wasting them on people who are not up to our standards. Trusting our gut is all that we need to do. I have been in terrible positions because I ignored my gut reactions. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/20 10:38 PM |
| 4 | Straight to degradationAll good! I went a little too wild rounding things off: You are right, 30 shows/12 mo = 2.5 shows/mo, which is like 12 days/show. Still feel like 12 days/show leaves him plenty room to fully engage in other stuff in his life, though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 09:44 PM |
| 26 | Straight to degradationWOW. DAMN. Big, busy man right there. Honestly 30 shows/year = 1 show/month. That must be so much to handle, huh. If he practices like 2 hours/day, that still leaves him at least 12+ hours to do other stuff. Block immediately? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 07:19 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts about healing from past relationships?I have working on some books about Buddhism, and meditation, and they have been pretty helpful. Honestly, I have been feeling peaceful, content, and happy about myself. I don't think about him/them at all, until I see them. It is hard because they live around my neighborhood. So whenever I see them, the overwhelming feelings came back, and I felt thrown back to the moments when I was disposed. But other than that, I feel fine and happy. Time will definitely help, and I just need to be okay with … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 06:17 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts about healing from past relationships?Polyamory is like socialism. It is a beautiful ideal but so difficult to execute. What made me ponder was, we only have 24 hours per day, we want to create value to the society and bring love to the people around us, how do we have that time, headspace, and energy to deal with more than one person?! I Just think there is so much more to do in life than breaking your head over several partners. Like reading, developing meaningful friendships, cooking, etc. I am making peace with whatever that did… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 06:14 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts about healing from past relationships?It is possible with a community like this :) Thank you. Sending you positive energy too! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 06:12 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts about healing from past relationships?Thank you, thank you. Whenever I take on perspectives like the one you offered, I do feel grateful that this didn't happen, and it is liberating as hell. I realized that how little shits he gave to the women around him. One ridiculous thing he said to me was (one of the many red flags I chose to ignore, bless my ignorant soul) that he's been with many women, and the reason why he wanted to open up was because he could "change" the women he's been with, that they (the women) somehow became better… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 06:10 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts about healing from past relationships?Thank you for your reply. I also got into psychology, how our brain works, how we deal with emotions, triggering, etc. Would love to hear any book rec you have! One of my favorites was "Our Bodies Keep Score" (something along this line), it is about childhood trauma. It is a really heavy read, but a fantastic one. I agree that when a man really likes you, he'd settle down with you. I guess what hurt me was to realize that I was not the person who could settle him down... in a way that makes it a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 06:07 PM |
| 5 | Coping mechanism after a LVM situation.Oh, I like this framing a lot. Thanks for sharing! I was in a similar situation, and this really gives perspective. It is okay to take the time to heal. What also helped me is to realize that how we feel at a certain moment is going to pass. Feelings and emotions are like clouds in the sky, coming and leaving constantly. So whenever I feel a certain emotion, I try to take a step back, become aware of this emotion, and then let it go. It liberates and opens up a space for other thoughts, such as … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/20 06:02 PM |
| 8 | Finally met a HVMSlow claps!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/20 03:41 PM |
| 12 | Just remembered I had this, thought this was quite fitting and a nice reminder to not chase after certain men.Thank you for sharing. In earlier part of last year (2019), I have endless debates with myself on how "proactive" I should get in a romantic relationship, especially seeing girls around me are taking initiatives, asking guys out, texting them constantly. It made me question my mindset, and invoked a huge sense of FOMO (fear of missing out). "If other girls are being so proactive, they'd be taking the men who would otherwise approach me," I worried. I felt trapped, and even obliged to approach me… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/20 12:28 PM |
| 5 | Slept / "Dated" 40+ guys in my life (22yrs), and only just realizing how much garbage behaviour i've accepted from menYaas! So proud! You are not alone in this journey - I am also learning to embrace my values and standards. I have filtered out a couple men by just holding on to my standards - granted, it was confusing at times: when they approached me, it was so validating, and I felt loved. But I realized that is not the type of sustainable, respectful love that I am looking for, then the standard is easy to stick to. Keep doing what you're doing! <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/19 02:49 AM |
| 18 | Man wastes 6 years of a woman's life in a "situationship", wants to know how to string her along some more while fucking other women. Daily reminder NOT to waste time in "situationships" and LET THIS BE A DAILY REMINDER TO TAKE ZERO FUCKING SHIT FROM THESE MEN!!!!I have similar experience. It was a guy I dated over the summer, met on a dating app, went on first couple of dates - they went pretty well. He was the type that would "go with the flow" (I hate this phrase sometimes) - he'd receive whatever Universe has given to him, but he wouldn't fight for it. Zen, to some extent, but also he wouldn't try anything too hard. The biggest struggle I had with him was I wanted to become more serious in this relationship, whereas he saw me "as a friend". Even afte… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/12/19 03:23 AM |
| 2 | High quality men appreciate women who are happy with themselves and know what they want.This is a pot of gold - thank you for sharing! What I am working on is the numbers' game - and finding the balance between initiating a date and the fear of being "eager"/desperate. How would you balance these two? And how would you draw boundary when the guy gets touchy on the date? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/19 03:48 AM |
| 8 | Just FYI, not all dating strategies work the same way for all women...Thanks SO MUCH for sharing! As I am getting older, I feel psychologically and biologically ready to settle down, and to your point about setting filters, I have been trying to figure out my core values - a lot of dating values were given to me by my parents, but they aren't necessarily working out, so I have been doing a lot of reflecting and refining, trials and errors - meeting the wrong people definitely helped me learn and grow, but it also hurt! Wondering if you could answer two questions: … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/11/19 04:12 AM |
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