~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 1 | Do men just want to be seen as attractive and nothing else?I was Planing to write an actual comment but I feel it would just be a footnote to this reply. So.. besides the obvious point of men percieving being attractive as validating and also seeing more value in it that women because it is uncommon to be perceived that way, I would also say that most men want to be perceived as attractive because... Many think it would make getting a partner, getting affection and getting sex easier. Men are expected to initiate almost every stage of romantic/sexual re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/26 05:42 PM |
| 3 | Do most women feel they have to restrain their sexuality to find a compatible man?Most mentally healthy men tend to go beyond the dichotomy of viewing women as either whores or ideal partners. They understand women, just as men are people with both sexual needs/desires and also emotions, and that you can both deeply desire someone sexually without depriving that person of their emotional dimension. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 08:36 PM |
| 2 | Do most women feel they have to restrain their sexuality to find a compatible man?I mean... If she is clean of STDs and we have good chemistry why should I care?. I've been with several women throughout my life and that doesn't make me a worse partner... Why would it make them worse partners?. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 08:31 PM |
| 2 | Do most women feel they have to restrain their sexuality to find a compatible man?I mean, I have met these kind of people in real life (not in the USA tho.. in Europe). They struggle to understand why I tend to not care about my potential partner's lay county about her past and about what she did sexually... But it is very hard to make people wrap their heads around it. It's like... Those people who believe that the first time you have sex it's a completely different experience, and no matter how much actual empirical experience you confront them with, they won't change their… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 04:23 PM |
| 1 | What should be the appropriate punishment for a paternity fraud?The key here is that you have to prove that the hypothetical guy KNEW, not only that his hypothetical partner had aids, but also that he contracted the disease. Besides, if with every future partner he uses protection, that already complicates the matter. Legal logic is more complicated that acting in unethical ways: for someone to be formally accused and declared guilty, you need to prove that the conduct was performed with full knowledge and intentionally. Now... Returning to paternity fraud: … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 03:52 PM |
| 2 | Do most women feel they have to restrain their sexuality to find a compatible man?It's either that or a guy from a very religious community in rural America. I mean... This is the kind of question where the answer literally depends on every individual and their personal attitudes or values around sex; attitudes that have been getting increasingly liberal in the west for decades and will probably continue to be more liberal as time goes by. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 03:35 PM |
| – | Why obsess over women with terrible boyfriends?I wouldn't say they come from arranged marriage cultures. If they did they wouldn't be here complaining. What I think is that they have probably never been in a relationship... So they underestimate the value of compatibility. If you have never had a long term relationship and think looks are everything that matters, you might think that getting laid and being a good lay is everything you need to make your partner Happy and be happy in a relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 08:23 PM |
| – | Why obsess over women with terrible boyfriends?I think there are two, separate, problems around this trope. The first is, that many men who have never had a partner or who are TM nice guys think a lot of normal men are assholes. The second is that most guys who are desperate to find a partner dismiss how important compatibility is; and I think this is a bigger one. I won't go into the first because that problem has already been discussed a lot and the nice guy syndrome is well documented. But on the second, I'd say that many men who have lit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 06:16 PM |
| – | Why obsess over women with terrible boyfriends?Most people who constantly use that as an example are trying to make the point that being moral, having good conduct or having a particular set of values is not, in any way related to getting laid or getting a partner. The reason they point it out is because it is common for some women to tell these men that being ethical/moral or having a certain set of values is important to get a partner. Basically they are pointing out that getting a partner has little to do with how ethical/moral/good you a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 06:05 PM |
| 0 | A guy can be attractive to women regardless of whether he’s actually a good person.I'll give a shot to this one; I have a vocation for helping people on the spectrum 😉😂. A likeable asshole is a person who has a set of likeable traits he exhibits with a limited number of people in spite of having horrible personal values overall. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/26 08:24 AM |
| – | Why should women care that men don't have partners?Instead of moralizing or telling you you should care I will start with a simple counter question. Why do you not care? If you are asking why should you care, it is safe to asume you do not. Why not? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 12:22 PM |
| – | Who told men being nice would lead to sex?I will set the dinner example aside because it is leading us nowhere. Let's come back to your argument. You defined kindness as going above and beyond and "only wanting the bare minimum back". Notice that even on that definition, wanting the bare minimum back is still a form of reciprocity. A floor, not a price. So if I understood you correctly, we don't actually disagree on whether some return is involved. We disagree on the ratio: how much someone gives versus how much they expect back. I can'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 11:07 PM |
| – | Who told men being nice would lead to sex?That’s hosting. He’s basically hosting a dinner party. And he’s the one giving out the invitations. It is expected of him to do that. I really don't want to do this but... You are being obtuse. You do not host dinner parties for random strangers. You do not host and invite to your place just any person. At least, not in most countries I've been to. Saying it is a normal and polite thing to do is, for the most part building a straw man. That actually shows a common problem with nice guy that wome… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 09:33 PM |
| – | Who told men being nice would lead to sex?That’s just politeness. I’m not really seeing the kindness from it. Sorry, I think I didn't make myself clear enough: a friend invited you to his house for dinner, he did the cooking. That isn't something you do out of politeness or business etiquette, at least not in any country I've been to. Inviting someone over to your place and cooking for them is treated as a big deal. Maybe it did not serve as the best example, but what I meant is that genuine kindness is something you reserve for people … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 01:31 PM |
| 3 | Why is it so hard to believe some people who genuinely value depth, loyalty, etc?You ask: why is it so hard for some people to believe that there are women out there that genuinely value morals, beliefs, ethics, character and don't truly want the "exciting, hot, rich" person or men who only have eyes for their partner and don't watch "corn" , to name one example? The answer is: Because being ethical or having a particular set of values is neither a necessary nor sufficient condition for getting a partner or getting laid. Because there generally exists a gap between states an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 11:23 AM |
| – | Who told men being nice would lead to sex?I'll retort that with an example to better illustrate my point: Kindness: If a friend invites you over to dinner and you are a good friend, you probably feel the urge to invite them back. Perhaps you don't invite them to dinner and rather decide to go to the movies with them, but you kind of feel the urge to do something for them because they are going out of their way to do something nice for you. Most friendships, love relationships and family ties work like this: you do something to show you … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 08:05 AM |
| 9 | Who told men being nice would lead to sex?I am going to assume this is an honest question and say: most men are taught, from a very young age, that being "nice" is a prerequisite to having a partner. Men are conditioned to be deferential to women in many aspects. From engaging in gallant behaviour to having different standards for playing with other guys vs playing with women (in the playground). If you are constantly told that only people who treat women a certain way (deferring to them) will get a good partner, you eventually start to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/26 03:53 PM |
| 1 | Work on yourself is useless adviceThe point is that you have to do that over and over untill someone is actually willing to have a conversation. A single person isn't, generally going to do the trick. And again, if you go to the gym, invest in yourself and broaden your interests the odds wi improve. A side note on the gym: I do think that some people do try to disaude you from making getting laid the primary motivation behind the gym, but for the most part, if it works it works. Even if you force yourself to go expecting that to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/26 03:43 PM |
| 2 | Work on yourself is useless adviceI will try to spell out why all of this advice helps: So. Your first example: People say go to the gym, but also not to go for the sake of finding a partner so that’s kinda weird. What people are saying is, go to the gym and be disciplined about it to become more attractive. Don't expect the gym to be a place to flirt or find a partner and use it, primarily, to get in shape, lose fat/weight, gain muscle and strength. How does this help you to get laid? Your body becomes more attractive, you gain… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/26 03:21 PM |
| 9 | What do you want to be valued for?I'm going to draw from previous experiences and the kind of things felt valued for before (in previous relationships, currently single): I want my partner to like me physically. No, I don't mean that she finds me super handsome, but that even if she recognizes I'm average, she likes me. The best indicators for this are physical closeness, caresses, sexual contact and physical intimacy. I want her to value me for what I do in the relationship: pick her up, drop her at her place, cook for her, pla… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/26 01:32 AM |
| 1 | There is no such thing as a men having a skill issue.Sorry for replying to the previous comment without seeing this one. It is true that you increasing the odds does not guarantee getting laid. But your tone seems to imply that luck is THE ultimate variable and that we are all helpless to it. It isn't and we are not. Pur odds can improve dramatically. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 12:59 AM |
| 1 | There is no such thing as a men having a skill issue.If life grants you luck, then even if you are looking like shit, you can pull women. You talk as if the attractiveness of someone was a fixed, immutable and universal characteristic. Instead of saying how x ugly guy pulled a girl I'll give you a counterfactual: Chad doesn't always pull. Yeah... The best counter to the argument of the genetic lottery is that even conventionally attractive/good looking guys fail to pull 100% of the time, and generally have significantly less success when they don'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 12:56 AM |
| 0 | There is no such thing as a men having a skill issue.There are two problems with this scenario: The problem of magnitude: Improvement of money, looks, social skills and status can be marginal and NOT feel marginal. Going from zero friends to one close friend might feel like a big improvement, but might not be big enough to get you to land dates. Same with looks, dressing better and going to the gym might help your case, but it won't land you dates unless the improvement is significant; in other words, big enough so that the perception of others ab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 04:27 PM |
| 1 | Men that want to be seen as "hookup material" should only date women who hookup with themThis is not the standard definition of the term; that's what I'm pointing out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/26 08:21 AM |
| 0 | Men that want to be seen as "hookup material" should only date women who hookup with themIf that was the definition of hookup material, then most men would NOT be hookup material for anyone. Having sex on the first date or not is the result of several variables; most men would probably not set this as a standard because it's simply not reasonable. Even If a woman is extremely attracted to you everything from logistics to her mood can actually hinder a first date sexual encounter. You are attacking a very particular argument that I think does not represent neither men at large nor th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 05:04 PM |
| 1 | Men that want to be seen as "hookup material" should only date women who hookup with themOkay, then I will counter your argument by saying that, under that definition, most men, even in this sub, are not really aiming to be hookup material. You argue in your post: If men "want to be seen as hokup material" why don't they only date women who hoked up with them? If men want to "be seen as hokup material" why don't they date women who hoked up with them only? Nevertheless, most men, even on here, would acknowledge that what they refer to when they advocate for being "hook-up material" … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 09:12 AM |
| 1 | Men that want to be seen as "hookup material" should only date women who hookup with themWhat is hookup material to you though? I scrolled through your replies and you a.) seem to have a negative view of hookups b.) seem to think that having sex on the third date already means it's not a hookup. So. Bearing these two things in mind, my question is, what counts as a hookup? Because that would basically give direction to the rest of the debate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/26 08:19 AM |
| 3 | The biggest thing right now we can do to help men is to teach boys as young as possible, to drop as much as possible, any and all need for female validationYou know What makes people drop "female validation" or "validation from others" in general? Teaching people to form their own values and boundaries, enforcing them and seeking validation oriented by those values and boundaries. Humans are social creatures, we are wired to crave/ respond positively to validation. That's what makes school, government, society and social contracts work. Telling people to not seek validation is telling people to go against their nature; we all seek validation from o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/26 10:42 PM |
| 1 | Good men don't push boundariesI guess most people tend to not evaluate their priorities/ don't choose based on what they actually want. I mean... If you want someone who is traditional, prude and narrow minded, while expecting that same person to fulfill all of your kinks, you are being kind of unreasonable. It's hard to make people understand this concept in this sub though; as long as most of the Red pillers believe women are willing to engage in any sexual practice with a guy who is attractive enough, the concept of prope… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/26 01:49 PM |
| 1 | Men often don’t really know what they’re attracted toWhich suggests that, like everyone else, men often experience attraction without actually understanding what creates it. I would say most people don't have a clue about what they genuinely like. That requires self awareness, experience and also... Unsurprisingly, experimenting. What we value in a potential partner is neither universal nor static. Even if these traits you listed might seem as ideal for many men on paper, these very same men do not necessarily pursue women with these traits. The k… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 06:46 PM |
| 1 | No woman who likes you is gonna make you wait or play “hard to get”The thing is that in my experience, shy people tend to "express their interest differently", but it's there. Maybe they won't hug and kiss you in public but they do find ways to convey "I like you". "Mixed signals" usually means "there are no signals and I'm reading into this too deeply". Nah, "mixed signals" not only exist but also both men and women use them constantly. All the stupid things like "I'll wait till he calls", "I'll seem less interested than I am" etc. Are not just tropes... Some … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 07:52 PM |
| 2 | No woman who likes you is gonna make you wait or play “hard to get”About being shy: That is no excuse to send mixed signals. You can be perfectly clear about not being very good about expressing how you feel/ being shy about sexuality/ love in particular and still showing interest in other ways. For example, by spending quality time with the person, going on dates, and helping the person to understand how to make you, the shy person, feel more comfortable. Besides, if the other person isn't shy, the non shy person can initiate, and tell the other person they wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 07:28 PM |
| 2 | Good men don't push boundariesFFS 🙄. One thing is to talk about what you want to try or not, to elaborate on it, to discuss it openly with your partner; that is valid. You recognizing that your partner has a desire for a particular sexual practice and respecting that does not mean that you wish to engage in it. At the same time, talking openly about it and having a conversation about why you don't like it is also ok. Something very different is trying to talk someone into accepting something that they don't want. In that cas… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 07:18 PM |
| 5 | Good men don't push boundariesDebate Point 1: If a man is trying to pressure you to have sex with him sooner (pushing boundaries) he isn't respecting you or your comfort. If he just wants sex he can stop dating the woman (or pretending to date her) and go get a hookup You are right that pushing for sex is a violation of a personal boundary. Nevertheless, people are entitled to have relationship standards and to openly communicate that sex is important to them in a relationship and that they expect sex to be something that ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 04:19 PM |
| 1 | No woman who likes you is gonna make you wait or play “hard to get”Makes sense | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 03:38 PM |
| 2 | No woman who likes you is gonna make you wait or play “hard to get”I mean... It's not about being super strict with everything, but dating someone who is actively making your life harder by playing games and manipulating you is generally not very smart. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 03:38 PM |
| 2 | No woman who likes you is gonna make you wait or play “hard to get”Although I don't fundamentally disagree (In the sense that many women don't see having sex early as an indication of interest, and that makes sense), I am curious about why was it so important for you to wait when you really cared about having a relationship with the other person. In other words, what motivated you to wait out on having sex with someone you were really interested in (genuine curiosity) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 03:02 PM |
| 7 | No woman who likes you is gonna make you wait or play “hard to get”And dating someone who plays games or is insecure isn't really worth it. Some people do take time, but being explicit about it is the only way for the guy to properly assess if he is willing to be patient about it. Sending mixed signals, not communicating properly and not being transparent about what you want is a recipe for disaster. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 09:59 AM |
| 7 | No woman who likes you is gonna make you wait or play “hard to get”The difference between when a women is interested in you and when she's not is night and day. True. The litmus test is: if you are doubting wether she likes you or not, the best thing you can do is leave. Nevertheless... I'd point something out. You argue that: When a woman is interested in you, she will not make you wait, she will not make you question if she actually likes you, and most women who like a guy will AUTOMATICALLY take the initiative 9/10 times. This is pretty much true, but that d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 09:54 AM |
| 1 | Invest as little as possible early onThere’s an inverse relationship between effort and dating success when it comes to men. Yes, but not because low investment in and of itself grants success. What makes you successful is actually demonstrating you are not needy of affection or approval. It's not the actions that you do but rather how your inner psyche is operating while you are on the date. I'm not saying you should wine and dine on the first date. I'm saying that the things you do are less relevant than what motivated your actio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 09:47 AM |
| 1 | The Blue/Red pill is dead to Gen Z.I find your post pretty accurate in many things. I'd still say though, that the Red pill was alive and well in 2016; mainly because in the beginning Tinder was not really for hot people, and meeting people online was for losers. I'd add that one of the reasons why many people are increasingly turning to the black pill, is that many demographics where "game" and attitude could leverage an average appearance and get you laid are becoming more mainstream and adopting the dynamics of more convention… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/26 02:39 PM |
| 2 | Many women don't seem to know what femininity actually is.Oh I'm by no means a social constructivist. I do think that biology plays a pretty big role in determining what femininity and masculinity are and also think we have stark biological differences (the ones you listed are the most relevant tbh). Some things are also pretty random... And some have to do with our cultural context too... I'm just pointing out that I don't really think OP is making an argument in bad faith. He might be bad at articulating his thoughts... but he's trying to make a vali… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/26 11:54 PM |
| 1 | Many women don't seem to know what femininity actually is.Even though OP is not particularly good at articulating it, I think what he wants to say is that femininity is generally defined in "binary oppositional terms" or, in plain English "in relation to masculinity". Perhaps I'm giving OP too much credit here... but philosophically it is a valid point to raise. Besides, from this post we could infer that masculinity is also basically defined in relation to femininity... So... As food for thought it's interesting. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/26 11:24 PM |
| 7 | Invest as little as possible early onThis is the reason why reddit needs laugh reacts. On a more serious note: I think the best thing you can do on a date is an activity you both like. You can chat prior to the date a bit and simply figure a cool date that you will both enjoy. It doesn't have to be the fanciest thing in the world. I really don't get why people think that dating is an exact science where investment is measured by how much you do/don't do in the date. It's simple, you go out, hang out and build up the date as it prog… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/26 05:22 PM |
| 1 | Is there a way to make dating fair for men ethically - without reducing the rights of women, or challenging the autonomy of others?I mean a football match can be fair in the sense of having the same rules for everyone and still having great disparities between teams. If you make the actual rules of the dating more explicit by making information more transparent, wouldn't that make dating more fair? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/26 05:55 PM |
| 1 | Is there a way to make dating fair for men ethically - without reducing the rights of women, or challenging the autonomy of others?Legitimate question: What is fairness then? Equality of opportunity? Equality of outcome? Or something else? If you are asking for a scenario that makes either equality of opportunity or equality of outcome for men viable without transgressing on the rights of others... I think it is not possible. You might feel left out of the game, but you have better information to decide whether to play it or not, for me that makes things a bit more fair. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/26 04:26 PM |
| 2 | Is there a way to make dating fair for men ethically - without reducing the rights of women, or challenging the autonomy of others?First it's not enforcing, it's conditioning people for being prone to it. Some will get outside the mold. Second, you/ any woman or man can walk back on Any standards because being transparent also means acknowledging that what we value and who we are is dynamic. Being transparent doesn't mean you never change your principles, it means you are capable of acknowledging that you did and that perhaps you were wrong about something, without needing a bunch of mental gymnastics or a black box process… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/26 04:18 PM |
| 1 | Is there a way to make dating fair for men ethically - without reducing the rights of women, or challenging the autonomy of others?I'll answer with two counters: Isn't increasing transparency a way to make things more fair? And most importantly, conditioning people to deliver more complete information and accept more complete information in return makes the game less rigged. Yeah, that doesn't solve the "Pareto principle of dating" that red pillers love to hate, but it does diminishes one of the problems that incels complain the most about: women lying about what they really want. The game becomes fairer by making it's actu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/26 04:11 PM |
| 2 | Is there a way to make dating fair for men ethically - without reducing the rights of women, or challenging the autonomy of others?That's not what I said at all. You can walk back, what you would basically be conditioned to do, is not to stay in a relationship once you've walked back. You can change your parameters, explore new things and openly discuss whether you liked them or not; the only difference is that society would educate you for this transparency to be the default and for people to communicate this changes openly and honestly without feeling it's the most complicated thing in the world. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/26 04:02 PM |
| 2 | Is there a way to make dating fair for men ethically - without reducing the rights of women, or challenging the autonomy of others?I'll give this one a shot. So... Background for the argument: One of the most commonplace complaints of Men in this sub has to do with women's lack of transparency in dating and the way in which states and actual preferences differ. Many complaints about fairness, ranging from the "nice guys finish last/ she actually wants a bad boy" to "she's settling for me" have a core component: lack of honesty/transparency. Bearing this in mind I want to argue that ** To make dating fair for men, society sh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/26 03:15 PM |
| 4 | You’re not a good person just because you proclaim so.The statement you make in the title of the post is a tautology. You cannot define yourself as a good person objectively. What most men complain about in this sub though, is a more intricate problem. There are two problems with your argument though. I will try to elaborate on them in this response. There is no correlation between being moral/nice/good to being attractive but society does try to condition men to think there is. Most men are told that being nice to women, treating them a certain wa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 07:54 AM |
| 1 | For Men in Relationships: Is Emotional Love or Physical Desire More Important?If the emotional love you are talking about is romantic love then I would choose that over being considered physically attractive every time. If you have a relationship where both people experience a deep, mutual romantic love, physical attraction becomes pretty irrelevant; your SO will basically still see you as beautiful and will probably crave for both physical and emotional intimacy exclusively with you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/26 08:47 AM |
| 4 | It is not society’s fault that there are men who dont know the difference between casual sex and a relationship.Waiting a couple of months is like... 8 dates... (Assuming you have a date every week). It isn't really that long. Besides I doubt that surveys ask whether people had any form of sexual interaction besides penetration. So... assuming you got further than kissing and hand holding... Probably it's a realistic framework. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/26 09:14 PM |
| 1 | It is not society’s fault that there are men who dont know the difference between casual sex and a relationship.I can confirm this experience myself. I mean... I personally, and the people I know, tend to go on a date or a few dates to see if there's chemistry. Usually you do say you are aiming for a relationship from the get go but you date knowing full well that at some point the other person could reject you. Or simply say they are no longer interested. After a few dates and having sex usually people commit, become formally exclusive and start to call.one another boyfriend/girlfriend. When people talk … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/26 09:12 PM |
| 1 | Dating isn’t about what you deserve. It’s about what you’re attracted to.First off, great post. The only thing I would add is: Bearing in mind you are responsible for your attraction, become the kind of person who matches the people you are attracted to. If you know you like a certain type of person, try to find out what that kind of person likes and reflect upon it. Ask yourself if you are the kind of person the kind of people you like would date and if you are not, then ask yourself if you are really willing to make the necessary lifestyle changes to become the per… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 09:30 AM |
| 6 | What would you need to see/get from a woman in a relationship to feel certain that you were not being settled for, or used for resources or companionship?I have never really thought a woman "settled" for me. Here were the things that made me feel chosen: They told me that they liked me/loved me constantly. Physical contact was constant. Hugs, kisses... And for some reason them biting me. Time; they really made an effort to spend time with me Sometimes, they would spend money on me. Small things, like an ice cream. Self made birthday gifts: once a girl who studied film production Made a short film for me. Being vulnerable around my partner was see… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 07:07 AM |
| 1 | Why do most guys say their ideal woman is a "good girl" (sweet, loyal, low body count, not super party-oriented)? Is it genuine or just what sounds good?Most men say that they want a "good girl" because they have no idea who they themselves truly are. I know, it sounds confusing, let me elaborate. Most people who have at least a minimal amount of dates and have and at least a few relationships tend to not think a lot about who they date and why. They generally meet people they "click with" in certain environments, start dating, have relationships and share similar social circles and experiences. As most people don't put much of a thought into it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 02:15 PM |
| 1 | Never settle” has slowly morphed into “never compromiseYou are being defensive against an argument I'm not making; I specifically scoped my argument to people who want a relationship and are struggling to find one. If that's not you, nothing I said applies to your situation and I wasn't suggesting it did. Your dog example is fair and it's precisely the kind of boundary that I am not talking about. Nevertheless, if you require your partner to be 6 feet tall or more, or dismiss someone because they don't have a prestigious job, you are probably not di… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/26 08:58 AM |
| 4 | Never settle” has slowly morphed into “never compromiseI will not really argue against your animosity towards the post because the post is arguing from a very Red pill perspective, and that is a legitimate reason to be skeptical. But I do want to address some of the underlying arguments beyond the scope of the post and address your main counter to OP, namely, that any sort of suggestion to be flexible about standards is an intrusion that serve men's interests rather than women's. It's not beneficial for women to pair up with men we don't want. Howev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 11:49 PM |
| 6 | If hypergamy is real why do you think that listening to men is useful?The premise of the Red pill is not "Take male advice". It is take our advice. Besides, the logic of the Red pill presupposes that most men are "plugged"(i.e. are "unaware" of how the world works) and that women are irrational creatures that naturally act egotistically in their best interest without even being fully aware of it. Bearing in mind these axioms the logic of the Red pill is: Women are hypergamous and they will date the best possible man they can attract. If they feel that they can att… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 06:15 PM |
| 0 | Rollo Tomassi says women shouldn't have been allowed to vote because voting is proxy for war and women would have lost in the case of war, what do you think about this?Women are going to use modern weapon systems that men built, understand, and control? The argument of "men built it" would also disqualify most soldiers from using weapons; the average infantryman does not build his own weapons. Operating a weapon requires no knowledge of how to build it. Besides, there are women who work at Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, Raytheon, and across the defense industry in engineering, R&D, and manufacturing roles. So not only men built modern weapon systems, and n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 07:55 AM |
| 2 | Why do heterosexual women often have problems with not wanting to have sex?The propagation of the species demands male orgasm; female orgasm is completely irrelevant. If you see the propagation of the species as a purely mechanical process, then yeah. Nevertheless: Female orgasm increases pair bonding (oxytocin release), makes the woman want more sex by reinforcing a positive experience when deciding to have sex and even aids conception because uterine contractions help the sperm move upwards. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/26 01:03 PM |
| 11 | Rollo Tomassi says women shouldn't have been allowed to vote because voting is proxy for war and women would have lost in the case of war, what do you think about this?Short answer: This is one of the most stupid takes I've ever heard about politics and War, and also one of the most stupid takes I've ever read on Tomassi's Twitter (Side note: I study war and politics academically and have read Rollo for more than a decade). So the answer to your question is no, you are not the only one who thinks this take makes no sense. Long answer: Let's go but by bit. The reason we have elections is that they're a cheaper proxy than war. In elections, the biggest side wins… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/26 09:03 AM |
| 1 | A lot of guys here endlessly whine about dating, but only give the most lukewarm effort into actually doing itOkay. Assuming all of that is true: have you ever considered getting feedback from someone to improve your chances? Have you ever tried changing something or reevaluating your strategy to see what is failing? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/26 12:29 AM |
| 1 | A lot of guys here endlessly whine about dating, but only give the most lukewarm effort into actually doing itI was bullied by every one of my classmates at school. Even the guy who eventually became my Best Friend at school bullied me at the time. I was a loner, had no friends, talked to no one outside of group projects and was never good at any sport. I never got invited to parties, had social anxiety and my teenage years were pretty bad. To top it off I was ugly, weak, and socially incompetent. I still managed to get partners by improving myself and for most of my life didn't really have many friends… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/26 12:23 AM |
| 1 | A lot of guys here endlessly whine about dating, but only give the most lukewarm effort into actually doing itI’ll tell you the exact same thing they do about dating apps. I’ve done both. Approaching 20 women at a club makes no difference. Both options suck and have a very low rate of success and I’d probably stand a better chance on apps. I can tell you this because I’ve been there not because I’m trying to refuse to do it. Have you coupled your constant approach with presenting yourself differently, going to the gym... Etc.? When you’ve put in the effort and see women continue to pick others who didn’… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/26 12:02 AM |
| 2 | A lot of guys here endlessly whine about dating, but only give the most lukewarm effort into actually doing itReally? Because most of the threads in this subreddit tend to point to the contrary. Whenever someone gives some advice on being more social, working out, dressing well, eating better or approaching more/accepting more dates, people complain about women being chosen for existing, saying they hate social hobbies/ hate to do things that women love to do, saying that looks are "everything that matters", and saying that women only choose the top 10% of men in the dating pool. Whenever someone tries … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 08:10 PM |
| 2 | A lot of guys here endlessly whine about dating, but only give the most lukewarm effort into actually doing itMaybe sometimes it is just that, too much effort. Is that so hard to fathom Let me get this straight: You think that grooming yourself, going to the gym, seeking a social hobby and approaching the opposite sex consistently (as in, some times a day or sometimes a few days a week) is too much effort? Maybe they're putting 10x as much effort as you, maybe even 100x more, and it's still of no use. If you overexert yourself approaching and not changing absolutely anything in your lifestyle... Then ye… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 06:20 PM |
| 2 | Men say they want “good girls” but they reward hoesDon't lie; filter for people that don't care. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 12:02 PM |
| 2 | Men say they want “good girls” but they reward hoesAnd if you do it will backfire when you get found out and your partner gives it too much importance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 10:54 AM |
| 2 | Men say they want “good girls” but they reward hoesJust a tip: date guys who genuinely don't give a damn about your n count; you'd be surprised at how much they adapt to your own pace. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 09:16 AM |
| 6 | A lot of guys here endlessly whine about dating, but only give the most lukewarm effort into actually doing itI think the greatest problem with PPD is... That most people over intellectualize a very simple concept. Dating for men is about being comfortable enough to ask a woman out, accept rejection when it comes and enjoy the cases where you actually can go on a date. Going to the gym makes you look better; it increases your confidence. Approaching people makes you more confident by progressively getting you used to rejection and having interesting hobbies and things you like to do give you an idea of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/26 09:13 AM |
| 1 | If “she’s using me for my resources” was a real problem, then dont pay for women on the first few dates.My best dates have been in parks... Sometimes it starts raining and we go to my place. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 10:33 PM |
| 5 | If “she’s using me for my resources” was a real problem, then dont pay for women on the first few dates.Many women ARE cool with coffee dates, a walk in the park and many don't mind paying for their own shit. Most of my first dates were very cheap and simple; a first date is about getting to know the person better. You won't get that if you go to a fancy restaurant or go to the movies. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 08:39 PM |
| 7 | If “she’s using me for my resources” was a real problem, then dont pay for women on the first few dates.The most direct answer is: They come up with date ideas that don't drain their wallets, and get with women who are not interested in their wallets. You can have a date in a park, go to a cheap coffee shop, get an ice cream, do a picnic... All of these date ideas require very little money. You don't need to have a massive amount of money to take someone on a date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 06:05 PM |
| 4 | Marriage is a substitute for love.Yeah, it's a "business arrangement" that allows your significant other to keep receiving your retirement funds and inherit part of your common property if you die in an accident. It's a contract that gives couples a set of rights and responsibilities and makes their economic union an entity recognized by law, something that can be protected legally. If you want to fall in love and demonstrate your love to somebody, you can date them and live with them. If you want a set of practical advantages t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 12:41 PM |
| 3 | Marriage is a substitute for love.Someone already explained this in another comment and I hate to break it to you but, your definition of marriage is simply wrong. Marriage is not a contract vowing love until death. It is a contract that confers rights and obligations on debt, financial support, property and (if applicable), children. The reason why it is "special", it's because it is generally more highly regulated than other contracts and changes the status of the parties and their children. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 12:16 PM |
| 2 | CMV: “Join Hobbies” and “Expand Your Social Circle” Are very low-ROI Dating Strategies for Most Average MenMost people overestimate what they can cook. A friend of mine lives off Pasta with watery Bolognese sauce. It's not bad, but eating the same thing 5 times a week gets boring. Another one who's a gym rat buys protein puddings, gnocchi and takes away an additional dish in the cafeteria when it's open. I am no chef but I live off pre-made dishes, frozen vegetables, cereal, milk and the food of the cafeteria. Sometimes when I have time I try to grill a bit. It's kind of sad that I'm the person with … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 03:05 AM |
| 0 | Is there a reason people think relationships require a heirarchy or "structure"?I think it has a lot to do with how society is organized. The government, school, work, church, the army and even child-parent relationships have some type of hierarchy. So, from a very young age we get used to hierarchical systems and kind of just replicate them when we date. The only setting where we can escape that is when we interact with our friends and peers, and even then we tend to "follow" someone's lead. I think that you do not require hierarchies in relationships with your peers (i.e.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/26 12:16 AM |
| 5 | CMV: “Join Hobbies” and “Expand Your Social Circle” Are very low-ROI Dating Strategies for Most Average MenAs someone who recently started to live on his own I think cooking is one of the most underrated skills that people tend to not know they need. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/26 11:37 PM |
| 3 | Question for Purple Pill: Purple/No Pill men and women — what criticism of your side (your gender) is weakest, and how could it be better?I will talk about the male-side gender discourse, not the manosphere. Q1: Where is the Criticism too broad, inaccurate, shallow or ineffective? I think the most inaccurate criticism of the male sided discourse lies in the general perception of women that men act out of malice. The other side of the isle believes men who sympathize with the Red pill got there because they deeply resent and hate women and they accuse every man who ever does something mildly out of place of misogyny, mainly because… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/26 11:19 PM |
| 1 | Why do heterosexual women often have problems with not wanting to have sex?The original American pie? (There are like 8 of those) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/26 05:45 AM |
| – | If you are fine with having casual sex, then claiming “I feel love through sex” is a lie. You just want sex and wont admit it.Okay let's take it bit by bit. > Before reading, I finally gathered my thoughts better on why I'm so locked in to this issue: Thanks for giving a thorough answer after a thorough reflection. > Because in politics, out politics, offline, online, I have been around people who will lie even to themselves. Which is also why I dont put alot of importance into feelings, because feelings aren't always logical, feelings can cloud judgement, feelings can make you believe something is there when its not. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/26 12:32 AM |
| – | If you are fine with having casual sex, then claiming “I feel love through sex” is a lie. You just want sex and wont admit it.I will take you at face value and try to explain. Maybe I'll fail, but I'll try (feel free to ask follow up questions, ask for clarifications etc.) For most people who genuinely want sex and see sex as one of the many fun things you can do with someone else, no matter if stranger, friend or something in between -- and who generally see sex as a conventional activity as meaningful as going out for a coffee or playing chess -- saying "I want sex" is actually not that hard. I had a friend in colleg… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/26 08:08 PM |
| – | If you are fine with having casual sex, then claiming “I feel love through sex” is a lie. You just want sex and wont admit it.The problem is that your posts are not designed for discussions. According to the guidelines a discussion post requires this: Discussion posts are intended for questions to the general PPD community. Questions must be asked from a neutral point of view. You are usually arguing a point, you are not neutrally posing a question. Besides, even within a debate post you could be open to change your mind or concede good arguments. Your posts are basically designed to be debate posts, and the way you ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/26 04:52 PM |
| – | If you are fine with having casual sex, then claiming “I feel love through sex” is a lie. You just want sex and wont admit it.I would guess they let her cook because it increases traffic to the sub and triggers conversations. But it is a fact that she makes a bunch of posts in the same vein and rarely gives any sign of being willing to change her mind. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/26 02:34 PM |
| 5 | If TRP wasn’t true, there wouldn’t be such immediate resistance to and censorship of itThis is sarcasm right? (If it is, reddit needs laugh reacts) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/26 12:12 AM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.And why the fuck would you accept dating a woman who thinks that about you? Dating is an emotional process where the way you feel about yourself and others directly impacts the kind of woman you attract. If the women you are attracting are "settling" for you and openly deride you and who you are, the best thing that you can do is simply not accept to date this kind of woman, work on yourself and get back to dating when you have a better relationship with yourself. Dating is not about what you sa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 05:03 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Only because things went wrong for her. If they hadn't you remain someone she'd turn her nose up at. Yeah it went wrong for her but it probably also went wrong for you in the past. Unless you are extremely socially awkward, you probably already have dated several people by the time you start dating someone again when you are older. Are you "settling for a new partner" just because you decided to start a new relationship after a past one failed for you? A relationship can go wrong for many reason… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 04:14 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Thank God I've never paid for sex then ( Although I don't agree with you) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 02:39 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Let me get this straight having a friendship with benefits or a relationship with a sex worker or a web cam model makes me a degenerate. So.. being with someone who works as a hooker even if you didn't pay for it is reprehensible? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 02:30 PM |
| 3 | Why do heterosexual women often have problems with not wanting to have sex?I agree, it's not that complicated P.S.: I hadn't read the last part of your comment and that's why I asked for elaboration. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 02:11 AM |
| 5 | Why do heterosexual women often have problems with not wanting to have sex?Okay then I'll rephrase my question (and yes it is an honest question, I'm not trying to annoy you). Let's say that there is someone interested in providing the woman a genuinely pleasurable experience. And no, I'm not talking about "making her feel good enough" but rather really trying to make her reach orgasm, regularly. What would a man need to do for a woman so that her pleasure becomes the main focus of the sexual activity? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 02:07 AM |
| 9 | Why do heterosexual women often have problems with not wanting to have sex?Wouldn't proper foreplay, oral and bodily interaction solve most of the problems you described? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 01:52 AM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Because you can filter the people you don't want to date without thinking that the people who do not comply with your standards are necessarily bad people who lie and try to trick men like you. You can establish a boundary and apply it without necessarily thinking that the people who do not reach that standard are bad people. A non n count related example: I am not religious and don't really like religious people. I do not date religious women because my values don't align with theirs (I'm aware… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 01:45 AM |
| 5 | FWB material is better than both hooking up and a relationship.I think most people on this sub simply lack experience. They just theorize about relationships without actually putting themselves out there. They believe dating has fixed rules and that all women act a certain way. When you spend enough time out there you realize there are many people who act in different ways and that their behaviour is dependent on so many things, that the best thing you can do is to put yourself out there, get rejected a lot and eventually find the kind of people you are com… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 01:00 AM |
| 4 | FWB material is better than both hooking up and a relationship.It's a pointless discussion. These people believe that no woman could ever truly love a man, that all relationships are a power game where the woman either settles or is trying to round up Chad, that women are incapable of genuine romantic love and that their dual mating strategy makes it impossible for an average guy to have a genuinely happy ending. The ironic thing is, that many average guys who are not on Reddit 24/7 are in relationships with women who don't look like supermodels. These guys… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 12:56 AM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Again, if you show no particular concern for how many guys she has under her belt, why would she lie about her past? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 12:29 AM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.And you can give it as much significance as you want without considering that people for whom sex is just as significant as meeting for a coffee (i.e trivial) are morally bankrupt | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 12:23 AM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.If I see she's attracted to me (cuddles, kisses, hugs, physical contact, wants to spend a lot of time with me), yeah why not? I mean... If she says she doesn't want to have sex but snuggles with me all the time and just says she needs time yeah. I would make it clear that I expect us to have sex after a while and obviously ask her why she isn't ok with it/ what her motivation behind it is. If we talk it over and she explains it... I don't see any reason not to wait. I want someone I'm dating to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 11:06 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.You are being obtuse but okay I'll correct myself for the sake of the argument. You said: Anyway, we were talking about people who quickly hooked up with people at one point and no longer do that. In my experience that's something that's often done by manipulative, egotistical and deceitful people who lack empathy. Deciding to no longer engage in hookups/ deciding you want a relationship and not engaging in sex in the first few dates doesn't mean you are necessarily trying to manipulate or decei… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 10:32 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.That does not necessarily mean they are trying to manipulate you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 10:18 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.I fully agree, you can have whatever standards you want, but I think that not being flexible with waiting is just... Not smart. It basically entails rejecting a person who is interested in you and who will very well have enthusiastic sex with you after a few weeks or months... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 09:31 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Why would you assume that only egotistical people do that? Besides is there really a difference if the person hooks up with one person after a week and with the other after a couple of months? I'm not talking about a woman who says "I want to wait till marriage" after having a bunch of ONS or short relationships. I meany is it that bad that a. Person wants to wait for a few months? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 09:26 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Why? In other words why would someone not interested in having sex immediately mean that they are trying to manipulate you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 09:23 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Again, I really struggle to understand why having sex a month after meeting a person instead of a week is being treated unfairly. Besides how is that in and of itself an indication of getting led on if, after you formalize everything, you get sex on a regular basis? If you feel you are getting settled for, then you have every right to look for a new partner who you feel values you more... But I fail to see how the speed at which you have sex with someone for the first time indicates she is more … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 08:15 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Why is it a moral failure to be promiscuous? Or in your terms why would a person with a high N count/ a person that doesn't always have sex in the same time frame with every man she meets an awful person? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 07:56 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.I agree. My issue when the connection isn't existing or garbage and sex is used to stitch a broken situation together, then those types of people have the gall to tell outsiders looking in, "Dont you see how important sex is?!". If anything, it makes people think sex is the problem. I mean... I think it's an issue that can be resolved only by having a lot of introspection. Like... If everything but the sex in your relationship is working you probably have a very big problem and need to ask yours… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 07:52 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Why is having a high number of previous sexual partners a moral failure? Or to put it in your terms: why would a person who has slept with many men in the past tends to be, according to your logic an awful person? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 07:43 PM |
| – | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.And not every woman has the Gspot in the same place, nor does she get turned on by the same things. I'm not saying you need a lifetime, but you got to admit that's easier to please a woman who's body you already know. Ps: I'm not saying you have to have a super deep connection, I'm saying that having sex with someone you have already had some previous sexual contact with makes it more likely for her to have a better time because you know what works and what doesn't with that particular woman. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 07:35 PM |
| 1 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.They dont need sex for validation, they just want sex for validation. We agree they don't need sex for validation, that's not what I said. I meant that some people crave for validation, and see sex as a way to get their need for validation fulfilled. And that those particular people pursue sex in an unhealthy and selfish manner. but swears he's looking for love but 'is just scared because he's been hurt before'.... he's said the same shit for 16 years. You cannot be looking for love and be scare… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 07:23 PM |
| 0 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Again, bearing in mind how much men complain about having no options, limiting your dating pool of potential mates based on a preference that is pretty hard to find is shooting yourself in the foot. Most modern women are not virgins after they start dating and they start dating in their teens. You can filter that out if you like, it still considerably reduces your chances of finding a suitable partner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 05:24 PM |
| 1 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Two reasons: In the first place, because having hookups or having a hookup history has no impact in the quality of a long term relationship. A person having no strings attached relationships at some point in their lives doesn't mean that the person is incapable of being faithful and having a stable relationship with someone in the present. And furthermore, because you filtering out people based on that, makes your potential dating pool significantly smaller. You can see hooking up as a moral fai… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 05:17 PM |
| 2 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.If I'm completely wrong about it, then my life is a lie. I once dated a hooker, and once dated a webcam model, both for extended periods of time. That had little effect on my other LTRs. Right, but most people have non-negotiables. A single thing can absolutely eliminate potential partners and that happens all the time. Awesome is subjective You can see sleeping around as a moral failure and reject people who do so. That, nevertheless does not mean that among the people who do it one of them cou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 05:09 PM |
| 4 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.You still haven’t answered why he is compelled to accept her past poor decisions. You decide what you want to accept and what you don't want to accept. All I'm saying is that not accepting a woman simply because of her n count or because she isn't sleeping with you straight away is generally a bad reason to reject someone. She can find someone who accepts her better decisions later. And she generally finds a guy who has been just as promiscuous as she has, he doesn't give a damn about having to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 05:05 PM |
| 6 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Often that means less bubbly, less adventurous, less sexual, more jaded, more financially demanding, and less physically attractive. You can always date a woman who is younger if you really think that that will make her more attractive, more bubbly, more sexual and less jaded. Although there isn't a universal correlation between being young and wanting sex/more adventurous sex. In this context you're working on something that took less work for others. If we're so mature and past the drama we sh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 04:55 PM |
| 4 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Thing is the problem isn't that she put out early, it's that she got with the types of guys who use women for sex. Again, a woman taking a different approach to vet for men who won't just use her for sex is better. Guys like me instead would be open to date any women we had instant sexual chemistry with. And that is not wrong, but it definitely makes your dating pool smaller unless you are also willing to date people whose sexual chemistry rises over time. So in my position, where I'd have staye… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 03:31 PM |
| 8 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.That's not consistentcy... That is, basically not learning. If you learned that you won't tolerate verbal abuse, you simply ditch a person after the first instance of it occurring. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 03:10 PM |
| 4 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.We all made poor decisions at some point in our lives. No human being is free from them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 03:07 PM |
| 3 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.That is what consistency is in the context of romantic/sexual relationships between men and women. No it's not, precisely because women don't treat every man they date the same way. There are always differences and subtle variations in every relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 03:06 PM |
| 8 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Maturing and evolving implies readjusting your boundaries and values based on experience. You cannot literally tolerate the same things from every person you date and at the same time mature and evolve your preferences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 03:04 PM |
| 8 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.It's not about not being okay, you can eliminate whoever you want from consideration for whatever reason you want. What my original comment and the comment of the other person said, is that rejecting someone based on that person's varying attitudes and preferences on sexuality is not very smart. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 02:51 PM |
| 17 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.The thing is, that most people in real life don't choose their future partners based on every single thing they did at a certain point. They chose them based on what they want/ and expect at that moment. I am no one to tell anyone to change their standards, I'm only arguing that most men who expect women to go to bed with them ASAP because at some point they did that with another person are probably filtering out awesome people for a very stupid reason. And BTW most women don't give a damn if yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 02:48 PM |
| 4 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Why is she obsessed with what he thinks about her now? Because the hypothetical is that they are currently dating/in a relationship. Not caring about what your current partner thinks of you is kind of impossible. She made poor decisions and this is the end result. Making poor decisions at some point in your life does not mean you can take better decisions at a later point in your life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 02:42 PM |
| 2 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.I don't know if you answered to the right comment because I'm basically agreeing with you (actually the parent comment of this thread is kind of making that point to an extent... Again, tell me how this is any different than her changing her priorities. He did exactly the same. I agree | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 02:39 PM |
| 3 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Sure. Evolve and change. Just don't use those as an excuse to be inconsistent. If a woman does that then I lose interest in her. Whatever she did with, did for or tolerated from previous partners is something she is capable of doing and therefore I want it and in the same timeline. There are two problems with that. The first and the most glaring, is that by that logic, a woman who tolerated domestic abuse, mistreatment, cheating or other negative traits should continue tolerating those for the s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 02:34 PM |
| 4 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Side note: I'll frame my response according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I am aware it's not the only way to classify needs but bear with me. I think that if you are craving for sex because your need for validation is unfulfilled you will seek it in a very selfish manner. In contrast, if you seek sex as part of fulfilling your need for connection, you will probably not be selfish about it, unless you are desperate. I do not think most people seek sex to get validated after the first few times… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 02:01 PM |
| 6 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Again, why are you so obsessed with what a woman would have -hypothetically- thought of you when she was younger? You are not the same man you were back at the time. She isn't the same person either. The fact of the matter is, that the person who decided to go out on a date with you, at that moment, is interested in you. Why not work towards making that interest deeper instead of obsessing over a person's past? Besides, and most importantly, you are building a story in your head about what she "… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 01:40 PM |
| 8 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.That is a very good point, besides a woman can also say something like "I have had casual hookups with x amount of guys and I didn't get a relationship with any of them, maybe if I don't rush to go to bed with a guy I'll have better results." People change their priorities with time. Furthermore, many guys complain about not getting laid AT ALL. They argue no woman gives them the time of day. Taking that into account, trying to keep a relationship going when such a relationship will most likely … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 01:34 PM |
| 6 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.If not having sex on the first date is a deal breaker for you, then you should reject every woman who isn't willing to do that with you. Everything from the kind of date you have to the place you meet at has an influence on how fast/slow she decides to sleep with you. I am not claiming that your attractiveness level has nothing to do with it, I'm saying that reducing it to only that is not going to lead you anywhere. What I am saying is that if you really want to get laid, placing too much impor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 01:28 PM |
| 8 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Many people do. Guilt, shame and regret are natural human emotions designed to make us feel bad about something we didn't do properly. Besides, you can also feel none of these and still decide to change your behaviour, standards or boundaries to get different results. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 12:32 PM |
| 5 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.Ask yourself: Where and under which circumstances have I heard women boast about this? If it's online, or on articles published in the newspaper and the mass media, they don't reflect a significant data point If it's in certain party settings or certain social groups, ask yourself if you are not surrounding yourself with people you don't actually like. Also another thing. Whenever someone claims thisy be curious and ask why do they think that particular experience was so good. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 12:24 PM |
| 54 | It seems if a woman ever has a hook up, she should be expected to keep having subpar sex with strangers.On this one I fully agree. I think it's absurd to think people cannot evolve and change their preferences as time goes on. Or that women who ocassionally had sex on a first date should always do it. Dating is a process that has no fixed rules or standards. People have different levels of chemistry and compatibility that change and vary over time. Having genuinely good sex requires you to know the other person's body and that will probably not happen in a single night. Even so, sometimes there ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 12:16 PM |
| – | What is Red Pill for you?About point 1 and 2: supposedly anti-red pill women do have quite similar beliefs, with the statements about women replaced with similar ones about men in point 2. In this point I would respectfully disagree. Precisely I think that one of the main problems with liberalism is that they believe in a radical form of social constructivism. Their tendency to take decisions based on our biological drives in spite of their claims is what generates this "dissonance" or this lack of accountability. They … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 12:26 AM |
| 0 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.If you are unable to trust the person you are dating and sleeping with, and are certain that she will betray you, you have a pretty big problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 10:02 PM |
| 1 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.I guess it’s like playing Russian Roulette. With three out of six loaded chambers. You actually believe 50% of women might falsely acuse you of rape? 😂 Okay then, maybe they don't have neon signs over their heads, but if you are really so afraid of that... Why don't you wait to have sex and get to know the person better then? Surely getting to know the woman might give you an idea of how likely she is of fabricating something that serious... In other words if you genuinely believe 25% of the hum… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 07:02 PM |
| -1 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.I know that that is a common Red pill narrative, so instead of trying to argue against it I will pose a simple question: Why would you sleep and have passionate sex with a women who would entertain doing that to you? Think about it, there are many married couples, long term relationships and ONS that end in divorce, break up or end with both parties not seeing each other again, and in most cases neither of them accuses the other party of sexual violence. Bearing that in mind, we can infer that t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 06:55 PM |
| 0 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.Thanks for commenting. And yeah, I meant like... I'm familiar with the fear of "getting friend zoned", but I think that a guy who is genuinely interested would take that at face value and simply enjoy the woman's company and other forms of physical contact while the woman gets comfy with him. I mean if you are cuddling and kissing it's kind of obvious the person is interested. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 06:22 PM |
| 2 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.Interesting | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 06:18 PM |
| 3 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.It usually doesn't. Pushing for sex is both unattractive and risky. It tells the woman you are desperate and at the same time it makes her feel unsafe. Besides, generally showing that you are okay with waiting tends to increase her level of comfort and security, which in turn makes intimacy easier to happen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 06:10 PM |
| 4 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.And when the reaction was not dropping you like a hot potato, did something came out of it? Like... Did any of the guys actually got to be your SO in at least one ocassion (and if yes, was it worth it?) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 05:31 PM |
| 4 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.Even If you wanted to get laid, the best way to actually get laid is... To make someone who is already attracted to you become more attracted to you. If the person is constantly giving you kisses, cuddling and spending loads of time with you, it would be more reasonable to simply keep getting to know the person better. Ditching a person just because she isn't fucking you a week after getting to know you is dumb. Besides, if you have a relationship, after you start getting laid, you will usually … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 05:23 PM |
| 1 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.It hasn’t hurt my dating options, or kept me out of relationships where we’re compatible. I personally don't believe that waiting to have sex is either detrimental or good for a relationship, and that is not what I implied. I was just curious to know if any of the guys who were told they were being pushy actually were open to listen and do things differently. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 05:14 PM |
| 3 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.It's actually pretty sad to hear that people won't listen or won't take it to heart when they are told it's not about lack of attraction, but rather a matter of taking it slow. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 05:11 PM |
| -1 | Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far.Out of Pure and genuine curiosity: Did any of the men stop being pushy and really tried to continue pursuing the relationship genuinely after you told them that? Like, did any of them actually take what you told them to heart, respected your boundary and kept their interest and went ahead with trying to get a relationship after you set that boundary? Edit for whomever is down voting: It is a valid question, and the answer would.probably help to validate/invalidate OP's point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/26 02:50 PM |
| 6 | For those of you who complain about men who complain about not getting sex in relationships, saying that they should just seek hookups instead, would you be fine with those men complaining about their lack of access to hookups? If not, what is the right way for a man to complain about a lack of sex?Isn't complaining about random shit and discussing pointless shit the main purpose of Reddit? Like... People who don't want to hear complaints can simply stop using reddit altogether. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/26 05:51 PM |
| 0 | “Men want love too” until you explain that relationships should NOT be seen as the cost of sex.I think most men outside of this subreddit don't really expect sex to happen on the first date. But I do think a minimum of physical contact (hand holding, kisses...) it's necessary pretty early on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/26 05:46 PM |
| 0 | “Men want love too” until you explain that relationships should NOT be seen as the cost of sex.I think the best approach to that is simply saying that you are really shy and awkward and set a boundary about it. Say that you are genuinely interested. And perhaps tell them it has nothing to do with them that you are not super touchy while you get comfy. If it's easier texting can also help, (and also warning someone about it before the first date through text). A guy who is open to date you and who's really interested in you, will probably understand. Besides if you communicate that, a guy … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/26 05:42 PM |
| 6 | How Can We Hold Space for Male Victims of Violence While Acknowledging Women’s Safety Concerns in Dating?This is, unironically, the best answer/approach to safety I've read in a while. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/26 08:37 PM |
| 6 | “Men want love too” until you explain that relationships should NOT be seen as the cost of sex.And most of these guys are either horny teenagers or people with very little experience. Look at it this way. A person who has managed to be in several romantic relationships, had hookups at some point in his/her life, has had awkward dates and good dates, has cuddled without having sex and has had some sexual fantasies fulfilled, will probably know that there are many ways in which interest in something more than a friendship can be expressed. Besides, these people who want to rush it out gener… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/26 08:30 PM |
| 2 | “Men want love too” until you explain that relationships should NOT be seen as the cost of sex.I can fully agree with the fact that sex and romance are two separate things. (That's why being aromantic and asexual are two different things). I can also agree that some people tend to prioritize sex over other important aspects of a relationship and see the other aspects as "hoops" to go through to get sex; at least in this subreddit. What I disagree on, and I think at this point that's a constant quarrel with you, is the fact that even in the absence of sex romanticism is Not the same as a c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/26 08:25 PM |
| 1 | What is Red Pill for you?The blue pill is no reaction to anything. It is (as implied by the metaphor) the "default" state of society; TRP believes society IS biased in favour of women. You cannot be a reactionary movement if your existence and Definition literally depend on what TRP defines you as. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/26 08:05 AM |
| 2 | What is Red Pill for you?. A person, man or woman, can show love and care and keep a relationship going despite not feeling attraction temporarily. Attraction is a requirement for the relationship to start. Don't water down the Red pill. If you have read any serious contributor to TRP, you will most likely know that is simply not true. Case in point, the definition of branch swinging; TRP assumes that women are always on the look for better prospects and they leave if they find something better: https://theredarchive.co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/26 06:38 PM |
| 4 | What is Red Pill for you?The problem with saying that the Red Pill means "look at what women do, not at what they say" is that many women do not behave according to TRP, and every time this happens men just say the woman is hamstring, pretending or simply with an "alpha male". The Red pill doesn't account for the women who stay with their sick husbands, it doesn't account for the women who treat their partners well even when they lose frame or aren't demonstrating peak performance, it doesn't account for the many women … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/26 05:43 PM |
| 4 | What is Red Pill for you?My theory is that the Red Pill mindset tends to attract a particular kind of woman, that tends to have low self esteem and also behaves according to what, according to these guys, applies to all women. So they end up stuck in a treadmill of bad relationships with women who behave according to their worst "theories". So yeah, it's confirmation bias on steroids. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/26 12:59 PM |
| 3 | What is Red Pill for you?It is a fair point... The black pill view is not the "conventional one" though. It isn't quite red Pilled, but it is also distinctive from the "blue pill" vision of things. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/26 12:56 PM |
| 5 | What is Red Pill for you?The Red pill in a nutshell, is a set of beliefs about Men, women, how they interact and the nature of human beings. It is not a philosophy because it makes no metaphysical claims about how we perceive the universe and it is not a theory because it does not follow the scientific method and cannot really be falsified.the best way to describe it is an ideology. So, what do Red pillers believe and why do many people who share the Red pill Tag tend to hold so many contradicting Views? Because it is n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/26 11:19 AM |
| 2 | You CAN be emotionally intimate with your friends. Many just choose only limit is in relationships.And yet, the shady tree could not help you out when you are thirsty, while the river can and always does. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/26 01:02 AM |
| 1 | You CAN be emotionally intimate with your friends. Many just choose only limit is in relationships.This pretty much sums up what I've felt when I've been in love (thank God I've been in love several times and would fall in love again). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/26 01:00 AM |
| 3 | You CAN be emotionally intimate with your friends. Many just choose only limit is in relationships.And I said that feelings can be super stupid and I think people romanticizing romance Feelings are not "stupid". Your brain has developed that mechanism because it is evolutionarily advantageous. Because the areas of the brain that feels romance is also the areas of the brain that can feel lust and get addicted to things. And you cannot "turn that off". It is part of the mechanisms that MAKES A ROMANTIC INTEREST WHAT IT IS. I acknowledge that. But whats the different STRUCTURALLY? The difference… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 09:52 PM |
| 6 | You CAN be emotionally intimate with your friends. Many just choose only limit is in relationships.Love isn't structurally equal to friendship and you stating the contrary at this point is actually arguing in Bad faith. I and many other users have rebated your points with valid evidence that show the processes in the brain are different for romance, sex and friendships. The way your brain processes your emotions, the hormones your brain releases and the way you feel them are different in each case (a combination of sexual desire and romantic attachment is possible, you don't need to feel one … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/26 03:04 PM |
| 1 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.This is a very typical disconnect because most men need more self esteem than connection and most women need more connection than self esteem. To bridge the misalignment it is important to do activities that help both. A good example is cuddling after sex. That reinforces connection and attachment. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/26 03:55 AM |
| 1 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.I don't know if you are new here but, the OP has a single core argument which she rehashes in different forms over and over again, sometimes making posts based on past discussions with particular users. I know it looks bad, but redressing her core argument in order to point out a logical imprecision in this instance of that argument is... Unnecessary. Again I know her core argument is not that sex is evil but rather than people should focus more on the non sexual aspects of their LTRs. And I do … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/26 03:50 AM |
| 1 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.Yes. However, assuming otherwise normal conditions (for example, that it is not the case that one of us is grievously ill or separated by distance), I may not want to remain. The putative experience of romantic love is different from the ongoing decision to continue a particular relationship. Agreed, but you yourself recognized that the continuation of commitment is contingent on intimacy unless the circumstances surrounding the lack are exceptional. So I would follow by asking, why would the on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/26 03:46 AM |
| 1 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.I don't think that is a problem. In fact, I think that most of our attempts at analytically clear taxonomies are misguided. We need a minimum of taxonomy to properly define categories and assign them boundaries, even for discussing philosophical matters. You cannot study ontology or metaphysics properly without a minimal taxonomy. Fortunately, communicating some qualities of feeling rarely requires words. A look might do. We both know that subtle communications are, in many cases very ineffectiv… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/26 03:20 AM |
| 1 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.That's an excellent point | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 09:15 PM |
| 2 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.Lilith is arguing that for most people, having sex is a necessary AND sufficient condition for a relationship. The subtext of this post (and most of her posts) are very much in line with what you said, that's why I acknowledge it. But I'm pointing out that neither her current argument nor my counter are based on pure semantics. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 09:05 PM |
| 0 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.This is an interesting philosophical discussion so When I use apparent I mean it in the sense of "nominal", or "seeming". It's the second definition in the dictionary. (correct me if I'm using the term inaccurately) To Lilith's point, there may be many and various differences in how you treat someone you're non-platonic with. Physical intimacy is a common, major example. But it's neither the only one, nor ontologically necessary. You argue that the love you experience towards your partner is dif… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 08:54 PM |
| 0 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.This is semantics and frankly somewhat of a strawman unless you think OP is arguing that men think they're in relationships with anyone they fuck. It is not a straw man; check my or the OP's comment history and you will see why. I think the point of contention is that men complaining non stop about sex actually value anything else in a relationship, rather than viewing it as a necessary evil to get sex I am aware; she has explicitly stated something in that vein before. In fact, Lilith is not se… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 07:50 PM |
| 4 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.Yes, you are. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 07:32 PM |
| 2 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.I do not disagree. That's why I said that sex/physicality is generally a necessary but insufficient condition for a relationship. Precisely the exclusivity and also the emotional attachment/ goal oriented focus towards wanting a single partner (or a set of partners if you are poly), is another element that's necessary for the relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 07:20 PM |
| 2 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.I think he is explicitly saying in his examples that even kisses and cuddles are not involved (or at least that's what I understood in the post). The Original commenter can clarify that tho... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 07:18 PM |
| 0 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.You argue that you can measure this difference by quality of feeling and level of commitment. Nevertheless, I would say that the "apparent" level of commitment is not meaningful unless there is a tangible difference in the way in which you treat your partner. The example you give is interesting. You argue that: a hyper-religious couple that doesnt believe in any sexual activity before marriage, even kissing and cuddling. Can also be in love and engaged to be wed. And that It would be misleading … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 07:16 PM |
| 0 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.You said that the difference is The magnitude of friendship AND more physical contact. You do not simply kiss your partner on the cheek, he doesn't get air kisses, the hughs are longer and I bet that your partner is the only person who could place his hand on your thigh without making you feel uncomfortable. You're kind of proving my point. You guys care more about the sex than the non-sexual aspects of a relationship. No, all I am saying is, that a relationship REQUIRES some form of physical co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 06:12 PM |
| 8 | “Sex is neccessary but insufficient” is a lie if you only want to talk about sex and physical “intimacy”.I think we have discussed this at large already but again, a quick question: What is the difference between a Platonic friendship and a serious, romantic relationship? What is the difference between your best friend and your romantic partner? It's mostly a question of the level of physical intimacy you have with one or the other. You cannot have a non Platonic relationship if it does not involve some level of physicality beyond what you would normally do with your friends. If that isn't the case… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 05:51 PM |
| – | What do you actually want women to do?I would say that calling most people in this sub autistic is a gross generalization that serves no purpose for the debate; but that's beside the point. You are simplifying a complex question and saying a woman simply might need "more time". The evidence, nevertheless, doesn't show that "time" is the only variable involved. There's a full book that explains why women have sex and it turns out it is not a simple and straightforward process. The decision is mediated by situational, biological and e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 05:37 PM |
| – | What do you actually want women to do?It might very well be, but elaborating on your comfort level is also helpful. If the "I'm not ready" statement was self explanatory, people would understand it as easily as they understand statements such as "The sky is blue". The "I'm not ready" statement generates endless debates in this sub. I'm not invalidating the statement as such or saying that it is a double standard that's solely based on looks. I'm saying that in many cases, talking about it and explaining why you are not comfortable t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 02:51 PM |
| – | What do you actually want women to do?It is indeed true that most strangers won't have sex with each other at first sight, but the speed at which that comfort increases varies from person to person and depends heavily on context and how the date goes. After a few hours of meeting someone, perhaps you are not attracted enough for going to bed with them but are deff interested in a second date in case A but deff interested in fucking their brains out in case B, making that explicit and explaining your level of attraction is important;… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 02:37 PM |
| – | What do you actually want women to do?If you believe that saying "I'm not ready" is an extremely clear answer... then you probably neither speak nor write with clarity. Answering "I'm not ready" is the equivalent of writing "I think this because I say so" in an essay. The fact that you say no implies that you are not ready, which is totally fine, but people are not simply "not ready". Generally it is a variant of "I am not ready because...." Or "I want to wait because..." In the same vein elaborating on why you think waiting in the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 11:03 AM |
| – | What if Dating had a "Standard Protocol"? (An end to the "Vibe" guessing games)I mean, it has worked for me... I think that if you start to do it yourself the people who gravitate towards you tend to be on that same vibe too. Once you get over the fear of getting rejected you start filtering people who actually like you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 01:52 AM |
| – | What if Dating had a "Standard Protocol"? (An end to the "Vibe" guessing games)Instead of a standard protocol I think we need dating heuristics; especially one where transparency, directness and honesty in dating becomes the norm. That would give people enough flexibility to do things at different places with different people but totally counter all the bullshit of "guessing games" and good vibes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 01:48 AM |
| 2 | What do you actually want women to do?Disclaimer: Most of my experiences in dating were very positive, I'm writing this based on what I think worked well. So as a man what do I like women to do? Be honest: Most relationships that I was involved in that worked well started with very transparent communication. The woman told me what she liked and disliked about me. Some said they found me attractive, others said I wasn't conventionally attractive but they liked me nevertheless, and all of them kind of said what they were looking for f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 01:38 AM |
| 1 | What are some common Woman dating Mistakes?Asking their friends if a guy is worth dating; no one knows your preferences better than you, yourself. Tolerating shitty behaviours from shitty men and not setting proper boundaries. Not taking risks/ caring too much about what others would think if they dated x or y. Lack of communication | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/26 02:02 AM |
| 1 | Your values and goals affect your type and who you surround yourself with.Most underrated comment | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 10:34 PM |
| 5 | Men Shouldn't Complain About Being Locked out of Casual Sex if They Think it's bad for WomenAs someone who dated a web cam model for a few months, can confirm that not judging makes the relationship a little more prone to adventure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 01:17 AM |
| 2 | Many here Post stuff that is simply just not TrueI will argue in good faith and genuinely assume you are not a troll. Let's start with the Pew research center. It was a very controversial survey that failed to replicate when performed by other outlets or institutions. Someone wrote a pretty detailed article which pointed out that the apparently massive gap between men and women can be explain by cohabitation and marriage: i.e. committed relationships. That particular survey oversampled single women. Quotes for Point 1: 71% of the gap is explai… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 01:06 AM |
| 1 | Any leftist should agree Child Support should be paid for by the government.You end your post with a very legitimate question: why if you support taxing the rich for people to get family benefits and for children to benefit from taxes, you would not do that for child support? The answer is simple: Making the state responsible for child support would give the state POWER and CONTROL over women and reproduction. Why? Because if you turn child support into a state policy, with a budget, you make reproduction a fiscal Policy issue that has to be regulated by the state. It's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 12:32 AM |
| 1 | "Choose better" until men also have to choose better. Then that's just "female nature".I think that there is a group of people that really tries hard to go over the hall effect. These people tend to Also be the individuals who get the most satisfying long term relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 12:20 AM |
| 2 | "Choose better" until men also have to choose better. Then that's just "female nature".The reason why most Red Pilled men don't think "choose better" is good advice for them, is because their world view assumes that all women are equally "bad". They say it's "female nature" because they genuinely believe that their twisted version of evolutionary psychology makes seeking for "better women" a pointless endeavor. One of their top writers (back in the day, I don't know who produces RP content in 2025) once said: "a woman’s love is contingent upon (men's) capacity to maintain that lov… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/26 12:08 AM |
| 3 | Pair Bonding vs Dating HVMSoul* searching. I don't think seal searching will help anyone to determine what he wants in a partner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 11:25 PM |
| 4 | Pair Bonding vs Dating HVMDon't misinterpret his words. What he is saying is that in dating, you should prioritize what you value and be very transparent with yourself about what you want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 11:24 PM |
| 5 | Reaching 18 doesn’t make you a man, having sex does. Yes or no?Nope. The reason is simple: Psychologists argue that adulthood/maturity entails understanding that the most important things in life are non transactional in nature. While a child is completely centered in himself and considers his emotions as factual and adolescents see the world as transactional, functional adults develop a complex system of values that they don't reject, relinquish or negotiate. Having sex is not an indicator of transitioning from adolescence to adulthood. It is, besides, an … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 02:55 AM |
| 1 | Implicit beliefs matter more than explicit beliefs. Just like actions speak louder than words.I've tried and failed to make this point on several of her posts. The line of argument is, according to the OP, that people who prioritize sex are not genuinely interested in a relationship; she also tends to conflate the quality of the future relationship or relationship satisfaction with not prioritizing sex... Completely ignoring the fact that for most people, that is a pretty important component of non-platonic relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 02:04 AM |
| 5 | If it was about women being consistent with their sexual behavior, then it would make more sense for men to pursue women who makes everyone wait for sex.That sounds like an interesting story, go ahead. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/26 10:44 AM |
| – | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.Yes, there's a full article that explains how scientists try to minimize this in their surveys and reports, which also leads most researchers to trust in the self reporting data. From the article on the subject: We have seen a consistent trend in the research: men report more lifetime sexual partners than women do. The key word here is lifetime, since as soon as we look at shorter periods of time, between one to five years, most of the discrepancy disappears. Additionally, the lifetime discrepan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 11:20 PM |
| 1 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.Again, the problem is this sub consistently shows they don’t even give two shits about the friendship aspect of a relationship. Your partner is not your friend. It's someone you should have a very close and strong bond to, someone you spend a lot of time with and you deeply care about, but a partner does not and should not fulfill the same role as a friend. I can agree that people on the sub tend to underestimate the importance of the non-sexual aspects of relationships, and tend not to care abo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 05:19 PM |
| 1 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.First of all, sex cannot be the primary thing keeping the relationship together. Could we nevertheless agree on the fact that sex is a necessary but insufficient condition to keep a healthy relationship together? How would you differentiate between a Platonic relationship or friendship and a romantic relationship; doesn't sex play an important role in a romantic relationship? Basically the “beta male” traits. being emotionally intimate, getting into some very deep conversations Okay those are al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 04:03 PM |
| 0 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.Thats not avaliable to most men complaining, if it was the complaints wouldnt exist. The data shows that generally, most women would not have sex with almost anyone, no matter how attractive, without at least going out on a date/ getting a bit of a feeling of who he is. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-011-9750-4 In this study just one out of 120 women accepted a hookup from an attractive guy. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25828991/ In this one, in a party setting, just one of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 03:36 PM |
| 1 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.because guys in this sub keep showing they don’t like relationships What would a man who genuinely likes romantic relationships be like in your mind? And a follow up question: Sex is an integral part of most romantic relationships, what should be, according to you the ideal pacing of sex? How much do you consider people should wait before engaging in it? They see relationships without immediate sex as beta male behavior. I can concede that. they’re using sex to get validation admitting they want… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 11:14 AM |
| 0 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.The reason why "Tiers" exist is basically because both men and women have preferences about dating, relationships and who they would fuck. Furthermore, being hookup material doesn't necessarily translate into "boyfriend" material (and yes, there are some men who complain that no woman takes them seriously and are unwilling to get seriously involved with them.) If having sex early on is important to you, filtering and rejecting the women who are not willing to have sex with you early on is the wa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 06:15 PM |
| 1 | Guys who complain about “fairness” won’t ask for a hookup because it hurts their victim complex.I don't think that expecting sex early on equates to only wanting a hook up, which is a Leitmotif in most of your posts. Nevertheless I will say that I do agree with the fact that most people who complain about "double standards" fail to see that the solution is setting a stronger boundary. If for someone having sex early on and being with someone who is willing to do that with them is extremely important, then they have to filter out the people who do not want this. I don't think saying that yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 06:11 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: what is something you think guys overestimate women care about in dating?Honestly? Having money. And no I don't mean a billion dollars, I mean enough money to "pay for dates". Most women who actually want to spend time with you will probably accept a very casual date, with little to nothing fancy. Going to the park, eating ice cream or drinking a cup of coffee or tea and then going to your place is a pretty solid date. I think the disconnect exists because men think that you have to impress women and have something super fancy and elaborate planned out, when in fact … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/26 09:26 PM |
| – | Guys seem not to understand the concept of enjoying one’s company.I'm not interested in casual sex, If he's asking me for casual sex, I automatically know he wasn't paying attention to what I was saying to him, so it's a turn off. What makes you think that he wants casual sex? That's the point: you can have sex with that person early on (even on the first date) AND also keep dating him. He'll you can have sex pretty early on AND spend a lot of quality time together doing other things besides being in bed. Is it casual sex if you keep going on dates, spend a lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/26 05:24 PM |
| – | Guys seem not to understand the concept of enjoying one’s company.My issue is treating everything else in a relationship as not important Most people who want relationships see them as a full package, were sex and physicality is just as important as the willingness of the person to spend time with you. Besides, in most dates, physical contact while hanging out is also important. If that is not included into the mix, people could very well assume you just want a new friend. As the original commenter said, hanging out is just as important as the phSical aspect. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/26 04:58 PM |
| – | Guys seem not to understand the concept of enjoying one’s company.Because guys here treat it as a moral failing when they dont get sex. Especially with that whole "Sex is a need" bullshit. Sure as long as we're treating getting the newest iPhone for a spoiled brat as a need, I'll concede sex is a need. I don't think that people here treat it as a moral failure but rather an integral part of a relationship; which it is. Sex is not "an iPhone for a spoiled brat". It is not a "nice to have" but rather a very important part of the intimate aspect of any romantic r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/26 03:24 PM |
| 12 | Guys seem not to understand the concept of enjoying one’s company.I think the main problem with your train of thought is that you tend to dismiss any need for physicality in potential relationships as a moral failure and a problem. I agree with the fact that willingness to have sex shouldn't be the holy grail for evaluating how much someone wants to be your partner. Nevertheless, I think most people don't reasonably expect to go all the way with a person a few hours after meeting them. It sometimes happens, and when it does, it feels good, but most times it ta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/26 08:28 PM |
| 3 | Conditional loveWould you still love this person if she became a Junkie or committed mass murder? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/10/25 07:04 AM |
| 9 | Conditional loveUnconditional love does not exist. That's a fact that most grown ups actually accept even if reluctantly. Every person who has boundaries, values, and a bit of self-esteem will probably not love unconditionally, the issue is whether the values and boundaries you set are actually good or not. Not all people are superficial, not all people are hyper fixated in looks and every person can set his or her conditions and live a life according to their values. That makes conditions compatible and create… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/10/25 01:00 AM |
| 1 | Would you date a very attractive girl who doesn't like sex?Not a chance. I'd rather date someone who isn't attractive to everyone but who loves sleeping with me and who actually likes having sex with me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/10/25 05:01 AM |
| 5 | What would you personally contribute to society if you could get regular sex from attractive women?I'll try to give it a go. I don't think that all men being able to get laid would cure all social problems. What I do think, is that if most people had sex on a regular basis with people who they find attractive, and most people had a more flexible view of attractiveness, we would probably be less polarized when talking about gender and sex, we would probably have more tolerance and empathy towards the opposite sex (both men and women) and we would probably have less men on Reddit complaining ab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/09/25 03:44 AM |
| 1 | "If she is interested she will show" show what exactlyThen Ditch her... Sending mixed signals is just a plain red flag | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/09/25 10:10 PM |
| 2 | "If she is interested she will show" show what exactlyI feel I know where you are coming from, given that I'm not good at reading social cues. Taking that into account, I'll draw from my personal experience to tell you what counts as interest, generally: Background: I'm a very asocial guy, who was socially awkward for most of my adolescence. I was a loner, bookish guy, was never popular and I am not extremely good looking I had to learn about social cues as a teenager and had a teacher who helped me to navigate the dating world when I was a teen. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/09/25 01:23 PM |
| 1 | “Women always choose bad boys” is a pretty bad exaggerationIt's not an exaggeration, it is just a misconception. Most guys who claim that women choose the "bad boys", are extremely judgemental to very normal people with normal behaviours. According to These Guys, "bad boy behaviour" includes having a wide and healthy circle of friends, not being available 24/7, not being a prude, binge drinking sometimes, being athletic, being conservative or not being a sensitive soul that has nothing but compassion for women's struggles. This is not to say that some w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 08:28 PM |
| 2 | [Q4RP] have you ever wavered on your RP beliefs after becoming RP, maybe even gone BP before coming back?I started to shift my beliefs after I started to get real world experience. I think that both the RP and BP mindset tend to dismiss any sort of nuance and that, generally, the people who are best equipped to succeed in the dating market are realistic, rather than blind believers of RP or BP dogmas. People who have genuine success with women, in my view, aren't neither BP or RP and generally have a moderate view of things were they acknowledge some of the more generalized issues of women while al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 08:14 PM |
| 7 | How many dates should a woman wait to have sex, in your opinion?I think the permise is wrong. There is not a magic number of dates that makes for a better or worse LTR. Sometimes You wait to have sex and the relationship doesn't work, sometimes you can have a very good relationship and get toi bed on the first date. There is no corrélation in between speed of First sexual relationship and Overall romantic relationship quality. I think the best policy is for both people to be comfortable with each other. I've been in several relationships with long and short … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 08:02 PM |
| 1 | Women dont view having access to causal sex as a benefitI think I understand your post in the sense that I get that most women don't view having multiple partners as a badge of honour, don't derive validation from having a high number of partners and sometimes suffer from it because some men are very judgemental about it. if we add the fact that many men are bad at actually pleasing women in bed, I can also see how having easy access to sub par sex would be pretty bad. Nevertheless, I also think that many women do enjoy being able to engage in casual… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/25 12:42 AM |
| 3 | Being hookup material is much better than being husband material.None is better than the other, it's a matter of choosing what kind of shit you want to put up with. Both lifestyles have consequences, upsides and downsides. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/25 12:30 AM |
| – | No, Empire X did not collapse because of degeneracy/non-monogamy/whatever dating problemsWho's to say reform always makes things worse or less efficient? At least within the transition period, any reform that overhauls a portion of a particular political system will create inefficiency, even if it's only in the short run. It's natural that if something works a particular way and you change it, people will need to adapt to the new way in which things work. Gibbon's hypothesis has largely been debunked, and the Goths were only allowed to settle because they would have otherwise overra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/25 09:01 PM |
| 2 | No, Empire X did not collapse because of degeneracy/non-monogamy/whatever dating problemsAlthough your assessment is interesting, I think that arguing that any sort of loss in cultural values isn't a symptom of decline isn't that accurate either. i.e. correlation doesn't mean causation but when a society changes its values, it does contribute to its decline, because it contributes to breaking the system. I'm not arguing that monogamy is key to having an Empire, but changes in values do change the way in which things work, which in turn weaken the civic administration/bureaucracy and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/25 04:13 PM |
| – | Men only want power and sex, something most men should never have nor deserve.Let's tackle the elephant in the room: you ask what are the odds that over 60% of men are evil. The odds are actually pretty low. Research shows that 1% of the population is responsible for 63% of all violent crime Source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3969807/ In addition, research also shows that only in between 6% and 10% of college aged males account for most sexual assaults on college campuses. Sources: embed.documentcloud.org/documents/1699822-2002-lisak-repeatrapeinundetectedra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/25 04:09 AM |
| – | The ugly good guy vs the abusive Chad trope is overblown in this subI mean, I don't disagree with the fact that being good looking makes everything easier. The point is, as it is stated in the post, that being good looking doesn't actually make you a jerk, and actually, being good looking will probably give you a ton of positive reinforcement and positive social interactions that will also make you a better person. Besides, most good looking guys are actually not anti social jerks. Perhaps they do get cocky, and sometimes use their looks to oversupply themselves… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/25 06:45 PM |
| 2 | Men are honestly shooting themselves in the foot by dating very young womenI mean, I think that the issue I take with people who argue against age gaps (not the debate itself but the people who argue against age gaps) has to do with assuming that an 18 year old is not capable of taking sound decisions. If you argue that an 18 year old adult is not capable of properly assessing if a relationship is good or bad for him or her, you are infantilizing an adult, and infantilizing an adult is bad both for the adult in question and society as a whole. I'm not saying that being… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/25 05:15 PM |
| 2 | Men are honestly shooting themselves in the foot by dating very young womenI mean, there are many reasons for people to defend age gap relationships. I do so, in part, because my parents have a 7 year age gap and met when my dad was in his late 20s early 30s and my mom in her early 20s (they're still happily married). But I do think that many people who defend those are defending an abstract concept and don't really nuance their perspective around it. I think that most people who have healthy relationships with a big age gap would tell you that it is the context and no… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/25 02:10 PM |
| 1 | Men are honestly shooting themselves in the foot by dating very young womenI think that age gap relationships have more to do with context than age and people generally ignore that. I mean... If a person who is 18 and in 1st semester in college starts dating a 24 yo who started his major late in life, is a sophomore and shares a similar position to the 18 year old I doubt many people would bat an eye. In fact, I even doubt many people would immediately notice the age gap. These two individuals probably have a lot in common, take similar lectures, have to work as a team… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/25 02:06 PM |
| 2 | Can you call yourself intelligent if you can’t deduce, breakdown, and understand interpersonal dynamics?Good point. I would then ask, would you consider then that no one falls in the category of smarter than everyone else or smarter than most people? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/25 11:55 PM |
| 2 | Can you call yourself intelligent if you can’t deduce, breakdown, and understand interpersonal dynamics?I mean, there's evidence of people who suffer from the savant syndrome, which even if only applied to outliers would still prove there are some individuals with an incredible talent in some areas who are completely socially inept. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/25 08:29 PM |
| 2 | Can you call yourself intelligent if you can’t deduce, breakdown, and understand interpersonal dynamics?According to modern psychology, yes you can. The theory of multiple intelligences posits that intelligence is not a unique ability, but rather a collection of different skills. Most people develop one of these skills more than the others, which basically explains why some people are better at some things than others/ why people tend to have talents for particular things. Some people might be very good at breaking down and understanding interpersonal dynamics, others might understand the theory v… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/25 12:47 AM |
| 5 | Is it true, in your opinion, that many/a lot of guys aren’t good at sex? I keep hearing this sentiment. Why would this be true?A woman who I dated and from whom I learned a lot once told me, that most guys are bad at sex because they are bad at listening and following instructions. Basically she said that most guys jump to bed thinking they know what they are doing and desperate to impress instead of patiently foreplaying with the woman and getting to know what turns her on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/25 12:38 AM |
| 2 | If women love misogynists, then why do so many men here struggle?Yeah, the dark triad has nothing to do with hating on people based on their sex. Having some traits of psychopathy, narcissism or Machiavellianism makes you more attractive, that is true; nevertheless, having traits of any of these does not make you, automatically a mysoginist or a criminal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/25 11:34 AM |
| 1 | If women love misogynists, then why do so many men here struggle?You do realize that the bad boy archetype doesn't mean someone who is literally a criminal/bad person and the Nice Guy isn't really a nice guy do you?. The bad boy is not necessarily more misogynistic than anybody else, he just puts himself first and isn't a literal doormat. The nice guy (TM) never puts himself first and is a literal doormat. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/25 01:59 AM |
| 5 | If women love misogynists, then why do so many men here struggle?By all means you can do it, The guy who answered your comment just proved your point tho 😮💨 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/25 01:54 AM |
| 6 | If women love misogynists, then why do so many men here struggle?The Red Pill argument is not: "women are attracted to misogynistic men" but rather "a man's level of misogyny is irrelevant to how attracted a woman feels towards him." More specifically, a woman will be attracted to a confident, good looking man who has his life together even if said man is a misogynist. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/25 11:45 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: Would you date a woman who was not romantic at all?I guess I wouldn't mind being the one who initiates everything as long as I was completely sure she likes it and she expresses her emotions in some way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/25 08:26 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: Would you date a woman who was not romantic at all?I mean... I'd give her a chance if I feel she expresses her affection differently. IDK if she would tolerate me though, I'm very affectionate, both in public and in private... Send Good morning and goodnight texts to my SO, love pet names and although I don't buy flowers I take her out to eat on a regular basis... So IDK if such a person would be ok with that... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/25 01:39 AM |
| 9 | In order for men to be successful in dating, they must transform into a commodityIt is exactly that, and no it is not very complicated to implement and doesn't require much planning tbh. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/25 01:32 AM |
| 21 | In order for men to be successful in dating, they must transform into a commodityThe most obvious answer to this post would be something along the lines of "dating is about human connection", I'll take a different approach and use the same cynicism and logic of your post to argue against it. So, I will start with the underlying assumption that we should treat the dating market as a market of potentially disposable commodities, where we are all replaceable. For the sake of the argument, I will also assume, just as you do, that women only care about what you offer to them. I w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/25 08:12 PM |
| 1 | CMV: age gaps larger than ½ your age +7 should be illegalYou do realize that this "re-qualification" happened due to the diminished capacity of senior citizens to take decisions right? In other words, it happens because these people are considered partially incapable/unfit to take proper decisions The problem with all of your arguments is that you are NOT addressing the elephant in the room: by advocating for this legislation you are, by extension claiming that people are unable to properly fathom the consequences of their decisions along their entire… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/25 05:42 PM |
| 2 | Men who complain about being friendzoned mostly just find women boring and annoyingNot necessarily. The process is more simple. If you want something different than a friendship and she doesn't, then your desires differ and you shouldn't be friends for the very same reason you shouldn't be a couple. Forcing any kind of relationship on another person is not productive for anyone involved. People have the right to want intimacy with someone and not just friendship, just as people have the right to just want to be friends. If two people's desires differ, they'd both be better off… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/25 02:08 PM |
| 2 | Men who complain about being friendzoned mostly just find women boring and annoyingThat's something I can agree with. You don't need to be nice to people you don't actually like and keeping them in your social circle is pointless. On the other hand, men should also be more straightforward and say from the get go that they expect something different than a friendship. That would save people a lot of time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/25 02:03 PM |
| 1 | CMV: age gaps larger than ½ your age +7 should be illegalYes, you gain rights as you age (In the US, most other countries tend to pack most of those rights at 18, driving being a glairing exception). The point is that you do not loose those rights once you get them. Once you get the right to drive the state doesn't take that right from you unless you cause an accident, and even then, you loose it temporarily. Once you get the right to vote, you dont loose that right unless you commit a crime, and even then you loose that right as a punishment, not bec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/25 12:35 AM |
| 1 | CMV: age gaps larger than ½ your age +7 should be illegalFunnily enough, most people who draw the "life experience" card willfully ignore that many people might be on a similar life stage even if they have an age gap. For example, a person who completed his degree in 3 years (Standard for Europe) and went directly off to do a master's degree might easily find a person who completed their degree in 5 years (standard in South america), and then started their masters degree. One of them might be 21 and the other one 24, yet they have a pretty similar lif… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/25 09:50 PM |
| 1 | CMV: age gaps larger than ½ your age +7 should be illegalDisclaimer: I am not trying to be patronizing with this comment and assume that you are arguing in good faith. In this comment I will try to explain why you are not being consistent throughout your post. Or, more specifically, why you are either willfully or not willfully ignoring some of the logical consequences/implications of your argument. Let's return to your original post for a moment. There, you say that you are tired of the "18 is an adult argument" and ground it as follows: Those young … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/25 09:32 PM |
| 1 | People who are unsuccessful at dating should learn to accept it, and be mature enough to not wrongly blame anybody but themselvesI believe the most mature, based and productive thing for single men who are all out of options and luck to do is this - acceptance. You do make a specific reference to men in your post. It's explicitly stated. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 07:36 PM |
| 1 | CMV: age gaps larger than ½ your age +7 should be illegalI think some policy is based on evidence and science, but many of our laws do come from the general sense of what is moral and what isn't, which basically amounts to our feelings, because ethics amount to that: a consensus on the moral values of a group of people who live in a community, and morality in turn is our own sense of what's wrong and what isnt, which is in escence a set of Feelings. Examples: Homosexuality was illegal until recently because it was deemed immoral and "didn't feel right… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 06:06 AM |
| 1 | CMV: age gaps larger than ½ your age +7 should be illegalTbh I think that people who argue in favour of these laws don't see that proposing them and implementing them would make people's freedoms backslide significantly and ignore the multiple repercussions it could have in other areas. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 05:58 AM |
| 1 | CMV: age gaps larger than ½ your age +7 should be illegalThe issue with your "single issue" statement, is that limiting the sexual freedom of people, more specifically the freedom to date who they wish to when they are legal adults implies that people are unable to properly assess who to date. In other words, age of consent laws are intimately linked to the decision making capabilities of people and their ability to accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions. By permanently regulating consent with the half your age plus 7 rule, you ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 05:34 AM |
| 0 | CMV: age gaps larger than ½ your age +7 should be illegalI can agree on the fact that not all decisions are created equal. Nevertheless, I believe that sex is one of the least consequential decisions a person can make that still requires some sense of responsibility. It is a decision in which consequences can be mitigated with birth control and abortion, it is a decision that if practiced responsibly has a lot of positive consequences and very few negative consequences, and it is a decision that is so personal that regulating who gets to date who woul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 05:22 AM |
| 2 | CMV: age gaps larger than ½ your age +7 should be illegalIf you are going to curtail people's dating freedoms, you would also have to curtail their freedom to vote, hold public office, get a job, sign contracts, hold property, drink, drive, party... Etc Before you dismiss the argument as whataboutery, hear me out. By regulating who gets to date who, you are doing a disservice to women by infantilizing them and labeling them incapable of taking proper decisions around their personal lives; which would, funnily enough also render them incapable of takin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 05:04 AM |
| 2 | People who are unsuccessful at dating should learn to accept it, and be mature enough to not wrongly blame anybody but themselvesi want to make two points about your post: The first one is that you are asking people to do something that goes against human nature, that is, you are asking people to stop trying to improve an area of their lives that they are not satisfied with. Humans are inherently driven towards solving issues. When an individual is confronted by an issue in his personal life, he will try to find its causes, analyze what he can do about it and strive to solve it. Humans are wired that way. By telling peopl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 04:53 AM |
| 1 | The ugly good guy vs the abusive Chad trope is overblown in this subIT is overblown because most men in this sub hold the underlying assumption that looks are the main determinant for getting a partner, and criticize anyone who makes arguments based on anything that doesn't start with looks. Once you get that this is the core believe that motivates most of their arguments, you start to get that there is no amount of arguing that will convince them otherwise, because you would have to totally debunk this assumption for the rest of the arguments to work. Nevermind… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/25 03:27 PM |
| 1 | Men dont deserve sympathyPerhaps the men you interact with on a regular basis are just looking for casual sex, but many men are not. You say that 50% of the world's population deserves no sympathy because the people you interact with are shit doesn't mean that 50% of the world population is shit. It means you happen to filter and attract people who are mostly looking for casual sex. You have the same problem that many redpillers: you value a set of things that are valued by shitty people, attract those shitty people int… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/25 02:22 AM |
| 3 | Serious question: what are the downsides of marriage?The downside of marriage is that it is a high risk contract. By pooling your resources with another person, living together and sharing all the advantages of marriage, you are also held responsible for the potential liabilities that come with it until you either divorce or die. As divorce in itself is not seen as a downside let's take a couple that decides to remain together. Even if the relationship is good, you don't know what kind of tragedies can befall your spouse. You don't know if he/she … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/25 11:43 PM |
| -4 | Men: accept what you cannot control, and focus on what you can.Funnily enough, it seems that most people on this sub fail at "being human 101". Like, if you surf this sub for long enough, you see that most people debate stupid stuff like "the Chad monopoly", "approaching doesn't work unless you're a 10 out of 10" and "the male loneliness epidemic". It's true that dating isn't rocket science, but so many people fail at the basics that these kinds of posts are unfortunately needed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/25 03:39 AM |
| 2 | In a world where you could easily have casual sex with women, would you still prefer to marry/LTR/commit to a “low n” woman?We don't develop better birth control because people are worried about birth rates, not because we can't. We don't need to reproduce asexually to develop better birth controls and STD prevention. And again, the reason why sex is complicated for men has a lot to do with seeing women as trophy baby makers. You cannot have a society where sex is easy for every man which still assigns value to women based on how sexually active they were; there would simply be no incentive for women to sleep around … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/25 01:48 PM |
| 2 | In a world where you could easily have casual sex with women, would you still prefer to marry/LTR/commit to a “low n” woman?Bear in mind that, in order to make sex easy for men, sex would need to be regarded differently. Sex won't be easy for men and at the same time " a valuable experience you only share with people you really love". For your scenario to work properly, sex would need to be regarded as something as common as a game of checkers by most people in society. The reason why sex is still a struggle is because most men and women still assign a lot of meaning to sex. Think about it: part of the reason for wom… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/25 01:35 PM |
| 2 | In a world where you could easily have casual sex with women, would you still prefer to marry/LTR/commit to a “low n” woman?In a scenario like yours the n count would probably be irrelevant. If everyone could have easy access to casual sex, sex would probably not be seen as a mystic act of love but rather as one of the many fun activities you can do with someone else. This would mean that LTR and commitment would be given based on other criteria and probably most people would not care about how many people you've slept around with. Chad would not get the virgin because he would most likely have a social circle full o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/25 01:09 PM |
| 3 | Crying ‘used’ means you know deep down you didn’t pass the test every other woman cleared.Because even if the sex is good, perhaps the person isn't someone you like Socially speaking. Standards for a ONS are very different from the standards for a FWB or a LTR. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/25 12:47 PM |
| 1 | If you want to avoid the “friend zone” be honest about your intentions early on99% of cases it is totally true | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/25 03:01 PM |
| 2 | Why do PPD men tell women to ignore red flags then turn around and complain that we date criminals and bad people?I think the issue with many men is that they want women to be flexible with their boundaries because they think that women would "throw away their boundaries for Chad", and when they argue for women to choose better, they are telling them to find a man who's worth breaking your boundaries for, not one who respects the boundaries you have in place. This doesn't mean many women choose people who have a horrible value system and that they should choose better people, but rather that, for redpillers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/25 02:59 PM |
| 6 | If you want to avoid the “friend zone” be honest about your intentions early onI don't know why people think this is rocket science And fill their heads with "buts". The best policy to get romantically or sexually involved with someone is to make your interest clear early on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/25 02:35 PM |
| 4 | If you want to avoid the “friend zone” be honest about your intentions early onIn that case scenario you should talk it over with your friend as transparently as possible, knowing full well it can end up breaking the friendship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/25 02:33 PM |
| 3 | If you want to avoid the “friend zone” be honest about your intentions early onI think it is different to say you find someone attractive and you want to have a date with them, than to say something along the lines of being super into someone. In the first case scenario you're making it clear you find the person attractive and are willing to get to know them better, without concealing your intentions, in the second case you are just saying you are into someone you barely know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/25 02:32 PM |
| – | "green flags" in women that aren't necessarily attractive, or "red flags" that aren't unattractive?Green flags that men generally don't find attractive: Being smart or Engaging: Most men do not care about a woman's babies, her habits or whether she is particularly smart or not. Nevertheless, it is a green flag. If one or both parties are smarter and have good habits associated with academics their lives will be more interesting and their future child will probably struggle less in school. A woman that explicitly looks for commitment: Most guys are commitment allergic. If a woman seeks it tho,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/25 05:06 PM |
| 10 | Women's advice to men here is to keep them guessing, single, guilt tripped until they're so old they'll get creepshamed anywayWant some good advice? Get off Reddit: most people here are neither qualified professionals nor people close enough to you to know why you're struggling with getting dates or getting laid. Find someone who can help you out: Pay for therapy, find a mentor figure you can talk to or ask one of your Friends to help you out. Someone who succeeded at dating can get you miles ahead. Find someone who can give you specific advice and set realistic goals for yourself. Find some activity that you enjoy tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/05/25 10:05 PM |
| 1 | If you were a woman alone in the woods, would you rather encounter a man or a bear? Please explain your reasoning.Well, I think recognizing that most men don't make her feel unsafe is something that most feminists fail to recognize so... There's that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/25 01:48 AM |
| 1 | If you were a woman alone in the woods, would you rather encounter a man or a bear? Please explain your reasoning.As much as I love to hate most feminist theory, and I've read a lot of it to properly debate against it, I do think that what she says regarding which kind of men make her feel unsafe is pretty interesting. She took a very vague word "creepy" and turned it into a detailed description about the kind of behaviours that make her personally feel uncomfortable. Besides, she does not attribute those behaviours to malice and even recognizes that most of these men actually want intimacy, which is very u… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/25 01:45 AM |
| 1 | If you were a woman alone in the woods, would you rather encounter a man or a bear? Please explain your reasoning.It was a nice thought experiment TBH. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/25 10:41 PM |
| 1 | CMV: It's misogynistic to track a woman's cycle to stay out of troubleThe keyword here is "secretly". I think tracking and being aware of your partner's cycle is an essential part of any modern LTR. And doing so should not be an issue, so why do it without the other person knowing? If you don't know when your partner is going to menstruate, you are not being attentive enough lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/25 10:24 PM |
| 3 | If you were a woman alone in the woods, would you rather encounter a man or a bear? Please explain your reasoning.I think this post is pretty interesting, not because it tries to rehash the debate but because some of the analysis of the article is good. So, I'll try to answer the question " if I were a woman would I choose a man or a bear?" In light of this article: The author states that the issue with most dangerous men she meets is that: Men who lack social awareness or empathy often also lack other skills in emotional management. And usually, what men in these situations actually want is closeness. They… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/25 10:16 PM |
| 1 | What does love look like to you?I discovered romantic love through dating several people throughout my life. Every good relationship I've had (and, in my view, most of my relationships have been pretty good), was based on both of us wanting to spend a lot of time with one another. We would see each other often, care for each other, have sex, and we would behave like idiots in front of other people without caring about what they think. A good relationship can best be described as effortless I guess. OFC there are rough patches … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/25 09:51 PM |
| 0 | What Will This... Topic Look Like in 40 Years?Honestly? I think the future generations will look at us a bit like we look down on the dark ages. Radical feminist witch hunts and right wing fanatics are going to be seen as a modern inquisition and eventually people will realize that dating is a simple matter that our generation turned into a hot mess. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/25 01:20 PM |
| 3 | There is a serious hypocrisy in modern dating.I think the hypocrisy works on a différent level; it's more orientés towards women not being transparent about their aesthetic preferences and the fact that sometimes they tolerate things that they claim to find unappealing. Nevertheless... in economic terms... I don't think most women aren't realistic. Most women know that they will never earn as much as their husbands, most men do not earn enough to lead a single income household, and most people do not have an income that's high enough to hir… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/25 05:06 PM |
| 4 | What do women even offer?I will try to explain it in the most simple terms. Most men hit their teenage years and desperately want to have sex. They see it as the most important thing in the world. Most teen boys think it's cool, claiming to be experienced gives you "cool kid badges" and those who don't have it feel like they are missing out on the most important experience they'll ever have. Most men end up having it either in their mid teens or late teens and slowly start to realize that sex: 1. Won't make you a cooler… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 12:17 AM |
| 2 | About the "friendzone" and it's implicationsOkay so, although I agree with your overall conclusion, there are some points in your analysis that I'd like to counter: Most women measure the world and its elements based on how it revolves around her. This is gender independent. Most people are reciprocally altruistic at best and selfish and self centered at worst. whether the man makes her feel safe from an invisible threat and whether she feels attracted to him enough. I think this broad generalization is very simplistic. Both women and men… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 11:13 PM |
| 2 | Are men owed responses?No one owes another person a response, but giving one and receiving one is generally better. Getting closure, feedback, and perhaps even a reality check usually makes the person on the receiving end grow, but bearing in mind you argue that the ghoster is entitled to not care about that, I'll instead argue that a more open approach to a break up would even be more beneficial for the person who is doing the ghosting. Let me elaborate: Ghosting generally seems like a legitimate way to end a relatio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/25 07:18 PM |
| – | Who makes for better partners, men or women?I mean... When people talk about highly educated individuals, they are not referring to people who went to college and got a degree and then got an MBA. These are generally highly skilled professionals, who have white collar jobs and are generally well adjusted. Obviously they have a pretty solid education, but they are usually not PhDs who spend their time researching a very niche field. When people refer to "highly educated, the image that generally comes to mind is... Well those people who ac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/25 05:46 PM |
| 1 | If you get mad that a formerly promiscuous woman wants to take it slow with you, you only value women for sexI would say most of the men that I’ve seen express this sentiment do so because they view interacting with a woman as steps towards a prize and that prize or reward for taking her on dates on spending time with her is sex I would say the majority of men are not like that, just as the majority of women are not gold digging whores who look for a provider after having a child with an attractive man. I think that sex is a pretty important aspect in any relationship, and that most mature individuals … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/25 12:14 PM |
| 1 | If you get mad that a formerly promiscuous woman wants to take it slow with you, you only value women for sexThanks for the answer to my comment btw. Now, you say that: They get mad because they feel like she doesn't value him as much because shes not sleeping with them, because sex is their only or primary motivation for interacting with said woman. I don't think it's the only primary motivation, but the men who get mad, do so because to them, sleeping early on is an indication of interest/ attraction. They might want a relationship, but they are concerned about the women desiring them sexually/physic… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 06:03 PM |
| 1 | How do you define accountability, and what specific things should someone do, in your opinion, to “take accountability”?Are certain systems and structures oppressive? Absolutely As much as this Statement might be true, trying to change an entire system is way harder than actually trying to improve your life on an individual level. Besides, we're talking about dating here. I get, for example, when women try to organize themselves around something like abortion rights; that's something that you can do nothing about on an individual level, and you need changing the law/ public perception on abortion. What I don't ge… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 11:28 AM |
| 1 | Who makes for better partners, men or women?Strike educated. People can be happy together even if one or both parties are not literate as long as they are mentally stable adults with shared values, chemistry and proper boundaries. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:07 AM |
| 2 | Who makes for better partners, men or women?I'd rather say that highly educated people are generally more emotionally incompetent. Academics is an area where many people who are very socially awkward thrive and where mental instability is easy to mask because you don't really need to interact on a deep level with many people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:04 AM |
| 1 | Who makes for better partners, men or women?I think being a good partner is not correlated to the gender of the person. Being an emotionally healthy adult is not gender dependent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:02 AM |
| 0 | Dating is a numbers game and men who care less stay winning it.I think most of the things you do in life should be taken with this approach. Most of the people who focus on the outcome and not the process tend to give up quickly, because obsessing over the outcome drains your energy. Every person who is reasonably successful at something (anything) enjoys the process of getting to his goal and cares little about the outcome. That applies for dating, working out, your job... And most other human endeavours. Being outcome independent doesn't mean not putting … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 12:01 AM |
| 4 | How do you define accountability, and what specific things should someone do, in your opinion, to “take accountability”?So with supporting people, even when we don’t agree with their decisions, I would say generally women are better at doing this but it’s still not a majority. A lot of women will distance from friends who are in bad relationships. I still think most women have at least one friend who tends to remain there, precisely because she knows that the abuser is trying to isolate her friend from everyone. These people also see all the red flags, even when others ignore them. I also think that it's mentally… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 11:51 PM |
| 4 | How do you define accountability, and what specific things should someone do, in your opinion, to “take accountability”?Thanks for responding thoroughly to my comment too. So if my friend (and I have a particular friend in mind here lol) is going through another breakup with a toxic man, and she’s hurting, I’ll tell her she deserves better, it’s his loss, and build her up because she’s hurting and I care. This is the part you see. I have seen both, because I've had the privilege of attending a tough love session where my GF was lecturing one of her friends. I also understand that women tend to be more supportive … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 08:26 PM |
| 25 | How do you define accountability, and what specific things should someone do, in your opinion, to “take accountability”?I will answer this by doing four things: one, defining what accountability is, two, providing examples of both men and women who take accountability, three, answering why the phrase "women do not take accountability" is so popular and four, answering the questions posed by OP in the post. So, first off, accountability means owning up, and taking responsibility for the consequences to your actions. In other words, being accountable means that you held yourself responsible for the consequences of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/25 07:40 PM |
| 1 | With marriage and fertility rates declining, why aren't we seeing more of a push for matriarchyMost feminist currents are not really trying to implement a matriarchy. Some of them are actually skeptical about the state or simply want a certain set of reforms that, according to them, would level their playing field with men. Now, whether or not what they advocate for constitutes a privilege or simply leveling the playing field is up for discussion, but, bearing in mind the origins of the movement and their theoretical proximity to the left, establishing a matriarchy would not be, in the vi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 09:03 PM |
| 2 | Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading?Thanks for your answer. I guess that most guys who come off as creepy just don't really know how to flirt and escalate gradually. I mean, if you say from the get go you are interested in a relationship (explicitly ask for a date), get her out on said date, start to ask questions about what she likes and strike a conversation about a topic you're both interested in, and you read her body language properly, you'll probably connect with her enough to escalate the situation at a pace she feels okay … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/25 04:08 PM |
| 1 | Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading?Thanks for your answer | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/25 04:03 PM |
| 4 | Why do you view male sexuality as inherently objectifying and degrading?I want to pose a question in good faith regarding your comment. You say that most men dont convey both respect and appreciation for who you are and sexual attraction through their actions. How could a man convey both his sexual attraction AND how much he values you as a person, so that you don't feel that he's just trying to get in your pants? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/25 05:40 PM |
| 2 | Men make women miserable. When given the choice, women will always walk away from men and be happily single. Men should realize this and live their lives accordingly.No you don't. You draw conclusions based on your very limited perception and interpretation of very selective narrative evidence, which you cherry pick to give sense to the view you're trying to defend. The fact that the general social survey reports that only 10-12% of men and women had no opposite sex partners since they turned 18, and the fact that the national survey for family growth of 2022-2023 shows that over 60% of women and 55% of men had one sexual partner in the past year, shows that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/25 02:24 AM |
| 5 | Men make women miserable. When given the choice, women will always walk away from men and be happily single. Men should realize this and live their lives accordingly.I mean... I know but still... This one is pretty concerning | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 04:12 AM |
| 14 | Men make women miserable. When given the choice, women will always walk away from men and be happily single. Men should realize this and live their lives accordingly.This is the most autistic post I've read on Reddit... I don't even know how to respond to it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 03:07 AM |
| 2 | Guys seem to be upset that most men cant get away with being deeply flawed individuals.I think being forward about sex/your interest in something sexual is actually not bad, as long as you express it well. In fact, it might actually positively polarize some women towards you even more. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/25 09:11 PM |
| 4 | People who prioritize “standards” before chemistry are delusional/self centered and often treat themselves as trophiesI do think that lack of chemistry is one of the core problems in modern relationships, and also one of the reasons why many people feel they are being "settled for". These are the dudes who end up dating a girl who wants him because he is reliable, the guys who feel offended when the woman says she feels "safe" and also the girls who feel their marriage is lame and boring. Nevertheless, I think compatibility in values and lifestyle choices is also important, and that people who neglect those as … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/25 12:07 AM |
| – | Even if the "nice guys" have hidden selfish motives, they are still infinitely better than the honest “bad boys”.Why is it ignorant to explain that a person's thought process is simply wrong and won't get him anywhere? Why is it ignorant to show that this person isn't thinking properly about his relationships and that, for that very reason, he fails to obtain what he wants? You're ignorant af, this desperate/"nice guy" (buzzword) is giving her the same damn things she's giving him, PLUS a lot of extra shit. He's giving her what she expects to obtain from a friend, not a lover, partner or even a fuckbuddy. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 01:09 AM |
| 2 | Q4Men: choose a life: bad boy with 5 baby mamas or mild mannered virginCan confirm | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 11:33 AM |
| 5 | Why do men claim to want a virgin wife and yet try to sleep with virgin women saving themselves for marriageI think that most guys who actively try to lay as many women as possible while also claiming they want a virgin wife are either: a.) chronically online b ) not very experienced c.) Messed up due to their puritanical upbringing Type a is easy. These people spend more time on Reddit than on real life. They have a distorted vision of reality and if they went out and interacted with actual people they'd realize most men and women don't really care too much about that. Type b, is basically every guy … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:34 AM |
| 1 | Q4Men: choose a life: bad boy with 5 baby mamas or mild mannered virginWhy would life C be bad? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:21 AM |
| 1 | Q4Men: choose a life: bad boy with 5 baby mamas or mild mannered virginI know TWO people who love being accountants and nagging everyone around when the fiscal year's about to end. They are also glued to excel like if it was a videogame. I don't get them, but they are pretty happy doing what they do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:17 AM |
| 2 | Why do you all seem to take people’s word at face value instead of accepting that our subconscious wants to protect our self-image as good person, and therefore people tend to say what makes them seem like good people?The issue is that most people don't like to accept reality precisely because they know that accepting it also entails not being able to change many things. I'd say taking things at face value is actually part of that "spark of hope" that things will eventually change. Let's take this outside the realm of dating and relationships for a moment. Imagine you are politically engaged. You dream of enacting change and doing something positive for your community. As you advance, you realize politics is … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 03:01 AM |
| 2 | Why do you all seem to take people’s word at face value instead of accepting that our subconscious wants to protect our self-image as good person, and therefore people tend to say what makes them seem like good people?I'd say most adults who take other people's comments face value are the ones who would like them to be true and try their best to believe them. In other words, we kind of know that looks are important, that short guys have a hard time getting a date, successful politicians and businessmen are shady and that preaching a set of values doesn't entail practicing them. The thing is, if we had a cynical outlook on everything, our world would be very bitter. We need myths and narratives to make sense o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 06:17 PM |
| 1 | The female orgasm is a mythIt's more common than you would think. Foreplay and playing with your fingers and your tongue are, in my experience, easier ways to help her get there. Every female body is different tho... So your best bet is to do what she likes best. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 03:36 AM |
| 1 | The female orgasm is a mythI stand corrected. BTW awesome article, read it thoroughly | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 03:34 AM |
| 2 | You cant expect women to help with your loneliness or give you validation when you don’t show appreciation.I'd actually say that most of the men who think like that have never had actual experience with a woman before. Ever since I was in high school, I noticed that most guys who had a steady GF, had an average GF. None of the hot girls ever had a proper boyfriend and most hot girls dated/hooked up/ went out with seniors who were not really above average looking. In college I also saw many couples who were kinda looks matched. Besides, unless the woman in question has a plastic butt and silicone boob… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 03:25 AM |
| 1 | CMV: The world would be a better place if males adapted to how women handle problemsI disagree with the premise mainly because it presumes the "female way" of tackling problems is inherently better, and that men should accomodate to it. You argue that In hetero relationships, males often try to solve their SO's problems without even attempting to validate her feelings. This is inconsiderate because: it's not what she needs, It's forcing her to adapt to how males deal with problems, It's infantilizing to assume she can't solve it herself. First off, whether or not a woman needs … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 02:34 AM |
| – | Do Red Pill Talking Points and Insults Reveal Puritanical Conservatism?The problem with many soft-sciences and the reason for many people to hold them in contempt lies in their open hostility to the scientific method and their full embrace of very anti-scientific views. Most modern anthropologists and sociologists have fully incorporated french theory to their syllabus, and even hold those theorists in higher regard than their own classics, even when they themselves said their theories were based on pure logical arguments without any empirical grounding. If you're … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 11:32 PM |
| 1 | The female orgasm is a mythAgreed | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 06:58 AM |
| 3 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThat's true | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 05:40 AM |
| 3 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADProbably has a high percentage of muscle, and a decent amount of fat in the right places (breasts are basically made of fat... So that contributes to weight) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 05:38 AM |
| 1 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADQuestion because I don't know the standard in the US. At which BMI/ Bodyfat percentage are people considered overweight? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 05:35 AM |
| 1 | Q4M: Why are you not hypergamous?Why not seek partners who are more educated? More successful? Ambitious, wealthier? Better social skills? More charismatic, funnier, etc? I guess that I don't really care about those things because I want my partner to make me happy and I don't think that being hypergamous would necessarily make me happy. I simply try to filter for people that I find attractive/interesting and don't focus on their success. Sometimes I land on people that have all of these, and sometimes I land in people who don'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 04:31 AM |
| 2 | Even if the "nice guys" have hidden selfish motives, they are still infinitely better than the honest “bad boys”.Your ignorance of the games bad boys play is not proof that they are just being their authentic selves. Study more. Sure, I love to study. I think I have plenty of experience with actual bad boys tho. I had both friends and foes who were horrible people and did horrible things ever since I was at school. I know the kind of people you are referring to, and do not deny they exist. Some were successful with women, others were not. have you ever talked to a woman? This is only even acceptable if she… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 03:46 AM |
| 2 | Do Red Pill Talking Points and Insults Reveal Puritanical Conservatism?I actually agree. Most people who advocate for the red pill have no deep understanding of evolutionary psychology and they do cherry pick what's most convenient. Now, if we are going to discuss whether or not the red pill could be considered a religion... That's a different story. Most anthropologists would say its not a religion because it does not promise an afterlife, but then... It does promise a kind of heaven when it tells men they can aspire to have a harem of women at their service. Actu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 03:13 AM |
| 1 | Do Red Pill Talking Points and Insults Reveal Puritanical Conservatism?Sorry for the late reply (tried to answer this like three times and got interrupted to run errands). Sooo let's start. Religion is just one tool for justifying how we believe “nature” to work. Whether “women are hypergamous” because you think god made them that way or because “well it’s their nature I guess shrug,” it’s still the same argument. I can't agree with this statement. Religious arguments are arguments of authority which people base on faith. In contrast, appeal to nature fallacies can… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 03:09 AM |
| 1 | The female orgasm is a mythNo, but I guess I'm overly optimistic about the power of the internet to inform people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 02:58 AM |
| 1 | Do Red Pill Talking Points and Insults Reveal Puritanical Conservatism?Thanks. Feel free to destroy the grammar and post your suggestions. (I'm a language geek so I don't mind) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 02:57 AM |
| 9 | The female orgasm is a mythI am really concerned about the potential partners of the posters of these. People should read scientific literature or books about this subject a bit more... And get better sex ed | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/25 06:54 PM |
| 0 | Even if the "nice guys" have hidden selfish motives, they are still infinitely better than the honest “bad boys”.You keep arguing as if attraction is logical, as if women rationally filter out toxic traits and only respond to confidence. But attraction isn’t logical, it’s emotional. And emotionally healthy women don't feel good when the guy they start to see berates them, is cruel, and treats them like shit. Actually they are usually not very lenient and they set very strong boundaries around getting respected. They wake up drawn to the guy who makes them feel something, excitement, challenge, and emotiona… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/25 06:31 PM |
| 2 | Do Red Pill Talking Points and Insults Reveal Puritanical Conservatism?what is the rationale behind this language and these perspectives? The rationale comes, mainly from evolutionary psychology, not Religion or morals. The red pill argues in favour of traditional gender roles, because they believe that it is natural, not because it was ordained by God, as for N count discussions and cuckolding, most red-pilled men believe that a woman "pair-bonds" with every guy she sleeps. The fact that there is some overlap with conservative values does not mean the Red Pill is … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/25 05:54 PM |
| 26 | The female orgasm is a mythFirst, No I don't believe it Second and most importantly: who the fuck would believe that female orgasm is a myth if we literally have a bunch of free resources on the internet, backed by scientific literature, that, not only tell you that the female orgasm exist but also what the squirt is made up of, and also several ways to get a woman to achieve it? Arguing against the female orgasm is just a coping mechanism for people who are pretty bad at sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/25 03:57 PM |
| 4 | Even if the "nice guys" have hidden selfish motives, they are still infinitely better than the honest “bad boys”.Nonsense. Bad boys are NOT honest. They use game. Aaaam so openly flirting with a woman, saying you want to sleep with her because she's beautiful and saying that you either want a relationship or not want it is manipulating her? In my eyes, that's a pretty honest and refreshing thing for a woman to hear. And that is, for many a key of "game". They do not always just accept a lack of interest from a woman. They frequently mislead women about their interest level and the type of relationship they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/25 03:53 PM |
| -1 | Even if the "nice guys" have hidden selfish motives, they are still infinitely better than the honest “bad boys”.Women’s rejection of "nice guys" isn’t just because they’re needy, it’s because the nice guy doesn’t spark attraction the way a bad boy does. The nice guy doesn't spark that attraction BECAUSE he is needy. The bad boy does spark it because he is NOT needy. Precisely the fact that he doesn't need her validation is what makes him attractive, the fact that he has a life, activities and things beyond her and also the fact that he is with her because he WANTS it and not NEEDS it. many of the most ste… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/25 03:38 PM |
| 1 | Would you want to know if a woman expects you to pay on the first date?How would this make you feel? How would this change how you view her? I love transparency, so it would actually be a green flag for me. Obv most people don't talk like that, but I've had women convey that they expected me to pay for the date in some way or another and I appreciated being told that. I don't think that's an unspoken rule of dating and that setting the ground expectations makes everything easier. Would you have wanted this information upfront like this? Yes Would you believe her if… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 10:48 PM |
| 19 | Even if the "nice guys" have hidden selfish motives, they are still infinitely better than the honest “bad boys”.I disagree because there's a logical Flaw in your argument. Let me elaborate. You argue that: nice guys are still: meek, non-aggressive, eager to please, polite, civilized, etc. The list goes on. And that bad boys" are attractive to women and are able to "project" his anger and malice onto a much larger number of women. He can "spin the plates" by manipulating dozens of girls and can sleep with or enter into relationships with hundreds of women in his lifetime. And at the same time, even the mos… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 03:47 PM |
| 4 | Even if the "nice guys" have hidden selfish motives, they are still infinitely better than the honest “bad boys”.I see what you did there 😂 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 01:29 PM |
| – | If TRP wasn’t accurate, blue pillers would not be trying to censor it so aggressivelyI think no one is arguing that RP theory must make anyone beside the users in a sub accountable for their posts. But when the mod team of a sub is lenient about certain kinds of posts and openly says to the Reddit mods that they will not change their moderation policy, Reddit can simply say they are not following their rules and tell them to go elsewhere. Claiming that Reddit is "censoring" the Redpill because they are simply speaking Truth to power while ignoring the many posts on the sub that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 07:17 PM |
| – | If TRP wasn’t accurate, blue pillers would not be trying to censor it so aggressivelyYou still didn't provide any evidence that TRP is/was advocating for sexual abuse or for the use of drugs. I never said TRP theory promoted that, I said they were lenient with posts which did and also with contributors/ People who were close to TRP who did in fact promote it: https://www.splcenter.org/resources/extremist-files/daryush-roosh-valizadeh/ Using magic mushrooms was the most spiritual experience of my life, has giving me a better understanding of the universe and made me a more connec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 07:10 PM |
| – | If TRP wasn’t accurate, blue pillers would not be trying to censor it so aggressivelyI can concede that TRP theory by itself doesn't advocate for anything illegal. But the fact is, that the sub did allow posts that advocated for questionable things and they were not moderated out of the subreddit, arguing they were just "unpopular opinions". In fact, you can go red in the face arguing the link proves nothing, nevertheless it states: When TRP was in its infancy, the number one goal I had put into place for the moderation team was to ensure that our message didn't slip and that we… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 02:47 PM |
| – | If TRP wasn’t accurate, blue pillers would not be trying to censor it so aggressivelyWell,that's not true at all. It was moderated a lot and any posts that violated reddit guidelines were quickly removed. It was mainly moderated for concern trolling. The forum had a pretty hard stance AGAINST toning down the message/ filtering people who wanted to advocate for illegal things. Source: https://www.forums.red/p/theredpill/70614/the_viability_of_the_red_pill_in_the_future_border_erosion They basically stayed true, not only to their principles but also to the people who advocated for… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 12:15 PM |
| – | If TRP wasn’t accurate, blue pillers would not be trying to censor it so aggressivelyNot having a big platform is not the same as being censored. Besides, many YouTubers and Tiktokers still give TRP a big platform, so... No... It's not "lacking reach". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 11:54 AM |
| 1 | Dating advice cliches are also ruining modern dating.I totally get your frustration. I was there and also thought most of that advice was dogshit. The thing is... The most essential dating advice is self improvement, and the problem is that most guys don't like it either. Even the red pill advocates for constant self improvement, many people just don't want to put this into practice. Now, going to the clichés let's look at them more closely: Be Yourself: yeah except if you’re being yourself and you get dismissed anyway then what??? If being yourse… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 06:10 AM |
| – | If TRP wasn’t accurate, blue pillers would not be trying to censor it so aggressivelyI'd rather say, if the original TRP sub had been a bit better moderated, it wouldn't have been censored. Look, the TRP sub was cool. It had loads of great info and gave men a good space to post their experiences. But... Many posts had people advocating sexual violence and saying it was totally ok. Same with the comments section. Some posts were advocating consuming drugs in order to get into a IDGAF mindset Some of the public figures of TRP like Roosh basically said, publicly that rape should be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 05:35 AM |
| 1 | StoicismI was struggling to understand how such blatant hatred and resentment could be reconciled with self improvement. I mean... The red pill would have NOT gotten so much traction if it had started as a "all that matters are looks" Reddit forum. Most people who got on board with it basically started to google search how to get a date and back in the day it had much more overlap with the pick up community than with the incel community. From what I read now, there seems to be an idea that men and women… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 05:26 AM |
| 2 | Men are Love-ShyFirst off, pretty good post. What is causing this and what could be actual solutions to the problem? I will talk based on my personal experience because talking in abstract for practical problems is a bit pointless. I will start off by saying that I was never particularly shy but I have always been an introvert. I was not really popular in high school, don't have many friends and have never liked the spotlight or standing out. I think the problem can be solved as follows: Self Improvement: Even … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 01:43 AM |
| 1 | StoicismSo the dislike/limited understanding of women wasn't part of the original plan? Not really. The idea of the Red pill was not to hate women, but rather understand and accept who they "are". In fact, the red pill kindda adopted the stages of grief to explain that the adoption of the praxeology was a process and that you had to "outgrow" your anger to reap the benefits of the red pill. Before coming on here, I thought red pill and incel were interchangeable. They were not until recently. Most old s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 01:09 AM |
| 2 | StoicismThe Red Pill is "nihilistic" in terms of not offering any particular philosophy beyond "here are some facts about men, women and how they interact". One of the main tenets of the red pill at the time was that "sexual strategy" is amoral. So basically any man could take the concepts and apply any moral philosophy he wished to bring into the mix... As long as this philosophy didn't contradict the "facts" that pertained to male and female nature. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 12:57 AM |
| 5 | StoicismThere is no such thing as "Red Pill Stoicism". Some red pillers like certain stoic ideas, such as the concept of accepting fate and being unfazed when confronting a bad outcome or situation, but the red pill as such does not advocate neither seeking virtue nor valuing virtue above everything else. Being stoic for a red piller means emotional control, not the pursuit of any higher goal, after all, it is a praxeology: it's about acting in a certain way. TRP states a particular view of things "as t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 06:01 PM |
| 1 | People (and red pillers) often underestimate the necessity of young love/teen love and the impact it can have on am average guy's dating life in the future.I disagree with your analysis but not your statement/title. People (and red pillers) often underestimate the necessity of young love/teen love and the impact it can have on am average guy's dating life in the future. I agree with this, but I do fundamentally because people who had relationships in their teens and dated around got to experience more things, which in turn gives them a better idea of what they actually want in a partner, not because it was easier. your teens, the stakes were low. Y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 03:53 AM |
| – | Men typically have an external locus of control mindset when it comes to dating and generally underestimate the effectiveness of working on themselvesWhich means ultimately an individual has to make the additional effort to seek these communities of individuals with similar hobbies to socialize in. Hopefully there's single women in said communities to socialize with and ask out. Online dating is an option, but that emphasizes going out of one's way to find a potential partner, as you'd either have to commit a lot of time, or put down a good amount of money on the premium versions of the dating apps to filter on your hobbies. I can agree that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/25 09:04 PM |
| – | Men typically have an external locus of control mindset when it comes to dating and generally underestimate the effectiveness of working on themselvesHi, sorry for the late reply: This comes with the implication that the lifestyle you enjoy and are comfortable with will have you socialize with others, along with finding women to casually approach with your interests. Not really. If your hobbies don't make you particularly social, you would have to find outlets to specifically find a way to date not very sociable people (either apps or someone who also happens to enjoy that particular hobby) The truth of the matter is that certain interests ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/25 07:15 PM |
| 3 | If you get mad that a formerly promiscuous woman wants to take it slow with you, you only value women for sexThe premise of the argument is wrong: If you get mad that a formerly promiscuous woman wants to take it slow with you, you only value women for sex One thing does not imply the other. Getting mad that a woman has had sex more expediently with other men than with yourself doesn't mean you only see value in having sex with her. Actually, most men who get mad get mad about the fact that they feel a woman values them less, because she isn't jumping into bed with him, not because he only sees value i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/25 06:58 PM |
| 0 | Men typically have an external locus of control mindset when it comes to dating and generally underestimate the effectiveness of working on themselvesFor dudes who haven't had success in dating or being shown attraction (at least in recognizable ways), it's a major gap to jump. The thing is, developing a lifestyle that you are confident and satisfied about will change the way people react when you approach. If you go to the gym, get social or have hobbies you enjoy and have a set of values and boundaries you are (genuinely) comfortable with, two things will happen: You will start to filter the kind of women you want to date, and start approac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 02:05 PM |
| 1 | The fat acceptance movement is not a big deal. Too many people are obsessed with hating it.The reason why the Fat Acceptance movement is a big deal and should not be validated is because of their tents and unscientific claims. Name calling fat people is wrong and harassing them is wrong too, but misleading them into believing things that are just... Anti-scientific is not good either. A good example is this one: www.theguardian.com/society/2017/may/17/obesity-health-no-such-thing A portion of the movement, that claimed one can be "fat and fit", was rebuked by a scientific study that s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 12:51 PM |
| -1 | Men typically have an external locus of control mindset when it comes to dating and generally underestimate the effectiveness of working on themselvesI totally agree with this post. By literally just working out my body and growing my muscles, getting a real skin care routine (easiest thing ever that men in my life refuse for no reason), and fixing my dental health (getting Invisalign and also whitening) genuinely transformed me as a person. Process took me about 1.5yrs and I’m still hitting the gym consistently, so I’ll only be getting more substantial if I keep it up. Most people who claim that this doesn't work have not consistently done a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 12:33 PM |
| – | Sexual interactions shouldn't be limited by relationships.Yep, I can totally get on board with that.(Original answer edited to reflect that) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 03:18 PM |
| – | Sexual interactions shouldn't be limited by relationships.Excellent point. I guess that would nevertheless mean that the consent was not truly given freely, and there was pressure. But yeah, I don't see that as coercion and rather see it as stating a boundary... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 03:13 PM |
| – | Sexual interactions shouldn't be limited by relationships.Is this kind of consent truly free, meaningful and well informed though? AFAIK, consent, as framed by the op, is not only about saying yes to something. I agree though, that sometimes even if the circumstances are not optimal, people do conscient enthusiastically to some fucked up things. I also agree that always framing it as coercion might be quite imprecise sometimes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 03:05 PM |
| – | Sexual interactions shouldn't be limited by relationships.Okay this is an interesting argument. I will address what I agree with and what I disagree with, but the TL;DR version is: The current norms in Western societies hold sexual interactions to the standard of informed, meaningful consent. The only limitation on sexual interactions is if all parties give informed, meaningful consent. Agreed. But the thing is that, at least in Western societies, this is the current standard to allow sexual relationships between adults, and in some countries, even bet… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 02:37 PM |
| 1 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.I'm always glad to help, and it's cool you wanted to hear a thoughtful perspective from a guy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 02:43 AM |
| 1 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.Okay, I'll take out my inner rhetoric nerd because you are being stubborn: But that's what her post is obviously about. You can't even show me one example of op having even one good thing to say about men without options. Absence of evidence is not evidence of abscence. The fact that OP claims that men without options tend to have unappealing features doesn't imply that she believes that men with options have better attitudes per se. Example: Person A: “I like oranges. They taste great!” Person … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 12:21 AM |
| 3 | Sex Isn’t Special—You Just Think It IsAnd at one point we decided to allow slavery or pedophilia. Yes, and it took the human race centuries to criminalize pedophilia and almost a thousand years to categorically ban slavery, and both of those could, at some point in human history, be considered ok again because people no longer consider them wrong. What I mean is, viewing something as moral, special, worthy of protection or virtuous has a lot to do with what society at large wants to consider good. You'd have to convince entire count… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 11:43 PM |
| 1 | Sex Isn’t Special—You Just Think It IsNow this is an interesting discussion. So, about the premise: I agree in theory. That means I do believe we assign significance to having sex and that in and of itself sex is not, materially more meaningful than any other physical act. i.e: there is no empirical or scientific evidence that objectively shows that sex is any more special than eating, sleeping or taking a shit (although it's fun). Nevertheless: People love to act like sex is some sacred, world-altering experience. They assign deep … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 10:48 PM |
| 1 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.Really? Because everything she has said in the post and every comment about this is saying these guys behave worse than men who have options. So how did you come to this conclusion that she is saying the opposite of what she is saying? I do not think the post says that because her argument is not a comparison. I will recognize that she probably has a bias against people without options, and that she is supporting her argument without giving counter examples to give it nuance, but the point her p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 09:46 PM |
| 1 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.In that particular case I'd use Hanlon's Razor: Do not attribute to malice what can be easily attributed to stupidity. To counter the argument of "he was (probably) using her as a placeholder" I'd say: 1.The guy was committed to her (and as far as your info goes never cheated on her), for three or four years. If the placeholder theory holds, he wouldn't have even considered taking her with him and would have actively sought an alternative. "Using" a person requires a certain degree of Machiavell… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 09:34 PM |
| 2 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.The title says they aren't "Better" not that they aren't "good" or that they are "worse" As I understood the post, what she's arguing against is claiming that a guy who has never had chances is, by definition, a good option, and that "if given a chance" they would be able to prove it. Now, she doesn't make any favourable claims towards the guys with no options, I give you that, but she doesn't say a guy without options would behave worse than a guy who has options. After her examples, she also n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 08:40 PM |
| 1 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.I mean, there's not a strict correlation in between personality and looks. A guy can be hot and still treat people well and an ugly guy can be an asshole. I guess the reason why the "Chad" vs "nice guy" dichotomy came to be, was basically because most people who can't get a date consider most people with boundaries and some degree of self-confidence assholes. Being a person who speaks your mind, has a strong set of personal values and sometimes acts in self interest is not the equivalent of bein… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 08:28 PM |
| 1 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.I mean, if you want to keep someone, that person must keep liking you. It's not very rational (in the economic sense of the word), to berate someone if you have no one else. It's like if you struggled to find a job, found one, and instantly started to do your job badly and got into quarrels with everyone, knowing you will probably not find another job with ease... It's not logical tbh. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 08:02 PM |
| 2 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.No, there are men here that state they will have sex with mid women until something better comes along. It’s part and partial of their argument that women who have sex too early are being used. The key here is "until something better comes along". In OPs second example I do agree, but in the first, the dude has clearly "no other options", so it is unlikely that something better comes along. (Especially if he doesn't work on himself). Some men have made clear that SEXUAL attraction is different t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 07:55 PM |
| 2 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.Point taken. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 07:43 PM |
| 2 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.Okay, if we are exclusively referring to that kind of special treatment (miraculously getting a low n count woman to give you sex on the first date), I agree. But, I'd argue that if a woman is actively avoiding having sex with you, in spite of being enthusiastic about sex previously with other people early on, that has nothing to do with being a 10/10 and rather about the person not really being into their new partner... This being the case, I'd say the person shouldn't have dated you in the fir… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 07:32 PM |
| 1 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.Point taken. But now, I ask, if the guy has absolutely no options, wouldn't he have a vested interest in keeping the girl bearing in mind he has NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE? i.e, would he have to give a fuck about her "by default"? (I'm talking about example one specifically, the situation would change in example 2 where the guy eventually gets more options). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 07:26 PM |
| 1 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.I can agree that she's generalizing, but using that as a counter argument is lazy. By that standard, every general statement would be meaningless because it lacks context. I recognize that OP sometimes goes overboard with her debate posts, but this is not one of those cases. She gave five examples of the kind of guys who generally are unable to get a date and used them to argue that an unpopular guy is not necessarily a better dating prospect. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 07:10 PM |
| 2 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.I mean, I usually understand that claim like this: "She's hot, but she isn't compatible with me / does something that goes contrary to my values" (example: someone who does drugs). That's not what OP is referring to tho. As far as I understand the post, she's referring to a guy who dates someone he is not attracted to just to get laid. My retort is, that unless you have the hormones of a teenager, you won't be able to have sex with someone you do not find attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 07:03 PM |
| 4 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.Although I agree with the premise of the post two things about your list of undateable guys caught my eye and I'd like to debate that: Unrealistic expectations. Want to be treated like a 10/10 without having 10/10 looks nor 10/10 charm. I do not agree with this. If you genuinely want a relationship, and the woman you're dating treats you badly, she shouldn't have dated you in the first place. If you are with someone, you should give it your all, 100%. Now, that doesn't mean having sex in the fir… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 06:27 PM |
| 3 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.The assumption that you can only know if a man is compatible with you IF you date him is wrong. You do not have to go on a date with someone you dislike from the get go to know that that person won't make a good partner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 06:16 PM |
| 3 | A person with no options is NOT a better option.OP is not saying they are worse, she's saying that they are not necessarily better, and gave Two solid reasons for it: That people who get rejected by EVERYONE must be, at least in part, responsible for getting rejected That they are not necessarily more grateful and faithful once they get a chance. What she's criticising is the general assumption that most lonely men would behave better than anyone else if they were given the chance. (I.e., giving lonely men a halo for the fact that they are lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 06:13 PM |
| 5 | Why the Red Pill is so obsessed with having kids?Short answer: Because most of the Red Pill theory comes from evolutionary psychology. Longer Answer: The Red Pill is a simplified (and sometimes badly interpreted) collection of evolutionary psychology theories. The Red Pill gurus are always talking about gene pool, legacy and all those things as if we would do something other than staying dead after death. The reason why red pillers Talk about the gene pool, their legacy and having kids is because they assume that all human beings have a natura… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 01:15 PM |
| 1 | What keeps you happy in a relationship? What all do you need to be content?Respect: I tick off easily when my partner is being moody. I generally encourage us both to talk to one another respectfully even if we are not in a good mood. Connection: I want to get my partner and that she gets me. I generally achieve this by filtering for people who get my sense of humor, share some of my views, and are comfortable with being vulnerable around me (I do the same and show my vulnerability). Physical intimacy: Both sexual and non sexual. I love kisses, Hugh's, cuddles, rubs an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/25 11:16 AM |
| 1 | The only women who go after obvious assholes are mentally ill, shallow, or assholes themselves.I think the premise of the argument is wrong. I would say many different people hookup with assholes for a variety of reasons. As this is a debate post I will tackle your arguments by quoting the post: If the guy was a red flag from the start, why would you want a woman falls for him? There’s three types of women who want him at that point. Mentally ill chicks, especially the ones with untreated trauma from child abuse, so their mind tells them that his behavior is normal and to be expected. Sha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/25 05:49 PM |
| 1 | CMV: It's ok to break up or divorce, even if nothing is going wrongAs this is a CMV post I'll tackle your argument and try to refute it: Came across this clip of a woman is encouraging her followers that it is okay to end their relationships even if nothing is going wrong. If one of two people on a commited relationship wants to end it, something is wrong. It basically means that the opportunity cost of not having the relationship is more appealing than the relationship itself. It means that you are no longer attracted to your partner romantically or sexually, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/25 04:23 AM |
| 1 | Why don't men just hang out with each other more to solve the "male loneliness epidemic"?I'd say there are several reasons/factors for people to think that the "loneliness epidemic" is not solved by getting more male friends. The first and most obvious is, that most men, especially those who are more vocal about it in the manosphere think that romantic love, sex, getting laid or getting a relationship is the holy grail of affection and self-esteem. They think having a partner will magically make them feel less lonely and yearn for an intimate connection that includes the type of aff… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 04:11 AM |
| – | The Reason Getting Dates is So Much Harder For Men Is Women Won’t Look Past Any FlawsI think that's kind of not true. First, most men and women are in relationships (at least in the US), second attractiveness does not make for better relationships (i.e the quality is not substantially better), third, most women who are attentive with their partners also expect them to put in more effort in the relationship. Being extremely attractive might get you a bit of a better reception when approaching, but it won't make women follow you endlessly and beg to sit on your cock no matter how … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 09:04 PM |
| 1 | The Reason Getting Dates is So Much Harder For Men Is Women Won’t Look Past Any FlawsAs this is a debate post, I will try to nuance your statement. I will concede that men have a harder time getting a date, but I don't think it has to do with women being unforgiving about flaws. In fact women overlook so many flaws that many of them end up dating a walking red flag that leaves them single, pregnant and heart-broken. The reason why I think that women have an easier time dating, is because they actually dont have to initiate anything. A Woman doesn't need to approach a guy, guys w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/25 10:37 PM |
| 1 | Too many people imagine their whole lives with a crush. This leads to unnecessary heartbreak.I mean.... Fantasizing is a pretty common hobby. If you are madly in love with a person you will probably play a bunch of movies of your life together and perhaps even talk about it with that person when you're dating. What separates people who get their heart crushed and those who gracefully accept a rejection or break-up, is the knowledge that most of these fantasies are just that. If you know that things won't play out as you want them to, and that life is still gonna be alright... I don't th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/25 10:25 PM |
| 1 | Q4Men: what does a society that prioritizes men do?Sorry for not giving you a reply before. It's an interesting perspective on value, but usually the reason women don't go to war is precisely because of their reproductive value. Women are the only ones who can actually create a new generation... Even if very few men remain after a war, these men can spread their genes to many women, while a woman cannot bear several children of many fathers in a single 9 month period. I'd say that precisely because of this, men are seen as worthless while women … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/25 02:31 PM |
| 1 | Using sex to get a (good) man or keep a man hardly ever works.A guy with options would probably not care about a woman who withholds sex, especially a fuckboy, because he can simply allow the woman to get comfortable around him while he fucks someone else. Thinking that he will just dump a girl who's playing hard to get is just a coping mechanism. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/25 02:14 PM |
| 1 | Using sex to get a (good) man or keep a man hardly ever works.I personally believe the discussion of whether to withhold or not is pretty stupid. Most people who are successful with women don't really care about getting sex on the first or the fourth date because they know it will happen sooner rather than later. If you convey your interest directly from the get go, most women who are actually interested in you will keep seeing you, and will have sex with you when they feel comfortable around you. In fact, if you actually not care about the when, most wome… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/25 02:12 PM |
| 2 | We’ve redefined “love bombing” to protect our fragile egosI think the internet and social media likes to adopt buzzwords from academic fields, delude their meaning, misinterpret the research and accommodate them to suit their own worldview. As most people don't read the papers, books and research that produced the buzzwords, they become popular out of context and end up being adopted by people who don't really have a clue about the actual theory behind it. It doesn't happen just in Psychology tho... It's something that happens everywhere. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 07:19 PM |
| 2 | Do compare against the actual past or the imagined past?Applying the Pareto principle broadly to the intersexual dynamics between men and women is not science, nor it is to grossly misinterpret a theory of evolutionary biology, and recite it as if it was the Truth set in stone. But you are doing it. Allow me to elaborate why you are being pretty unscientific. The cornerstone of the Redpill mating strategy is the dual mating hypothesis. According to red pillers, women will mate with the best possible Partner in their youth (20s) and then search for an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 04:56 AM |
| 1 | Do compare against the actual past or the imagined past?Your statement is wrong because it is based on wrong assumptions, namely: 80% of women have sex with only 20% of men Most women are having kinky sex with hot guys, because the guys want to have kinky sex... and easily at that. The first point is easy to debunk. According to the latest national survey of family growth (2022-23), around 60% of women and men only had sex with one partner in the last year. So women and men are roughly having the same amount of sex. when surveyed about having sex wit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 05:06 PM |
| 1 | “Love” will be considered a scam 150 years from nowIf you have read enough history to know that our attitudes towards war and nationalism have changed, you might have also read that our attitudes towards love have also changed over time. In ancient Greece, love was considered a form of mental instability, and in the middle ages it was used as an excuse to escape a dead bedroom or a loveless marriage that was arranged for political and economic reasons. Saying that love will change is probably as much a tautology as saying technology will also ch… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 03:17 PM |
| 2 | The big problem with telling survivors of abuse to “pick better”.What most men have in mind when they refer to a Chad is not an abuser. Being a bit selfish sometimes, having a set of strong values, working out and not building up your life around your partner is not being an abuser. Nice guys just believe these guys are abusers because they don't cater to their partner's every whim. Being a confident person with hobbies, who doesn't spend all of his time on his partner is not being an abuser. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 03:06 PM |
| 6 | The big problem with telling survivors of abuse to “pick better”.You are missing the point: Emotionally healthy people tend to attract other emotionally healthy people. Even when abusers "hide" some of their traits, most emotionally healthy people set boundaries that are pretty good at filtering abusers. Besides, most emotionally healthy people who do find a dishonest person who conceals his most unappealing traits ditch the abuser the instant he does something they won't put up with. For emotionally healthy people, their mental stability and peace of mind is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 02:58 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Most people are boring and things like hobbies doesn't matter when it comes to datingAs this is a CMV post I'll address the two main premises: People are boring: yeah that's true, most people don't have a lot going on in their lives Hobbies don't matter in dating: I'd basically nuance this a bit. I mean, meeting people doing things you enjoy is a much more efficient way of meeting compatible people. It's not that hobbies are the holy grail of getting a partner, but meeting someone you will click with it's going to be easier if you meet them in a context or setting you both enjoy… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 02:55 AM |
| 4 | Do compare against the actual past or the imagined past?If you explicitly want kinky sex, why not find someone who wants it as well?. What I mean is, if having kinky sex with a woman is so important to you, why not filter out a woman who isn't currently interested in it? Tons of people like BDSM, a bunch have loads of weird kinks... Why not choose someone who explicitly wants it then. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 02:50 AM |
| 2 | Do compare against the actual past or the imagined past?Yeah, like... I'd say that most people are more concerned about their impressions about other people and not really what that person actually did. If you actually wanted to know about the person's past, you would need several years and loads of conversations. People don't go around saying "I'm only with him/her because he's a walking wallet/ she's the only one who I managed to be with". Just as most people don't really spend 90% of their time with their special others talking about what they did… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 02:41 AM |
| 1 | Q4Men: what does a society that prioritizes men do?Let's start Military Service: Countries tend to see men as raw material for wars. Women are almost never forced to fight in war or be part of the military. And no, saying that you want military service gone does not solve the problem, because the matter of fact is that wars will continue to happen and countries will most likely continue to need a standing army. Solution: make everyone, men or women responsible for national defense and don't give women the easy way out. A society that values men … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 02:35 AM |
| 28 | The big problem with telling survivors of abuse to “pick better”."If you wake up and meet one asshole, you're probably having a bad day, if you wake up and meet 20 assholes, then probably you're the asshole" A person who constantly gets in shitty relationships with abusive partners is just as messed up as the people she chose. Saying that this person has no issues whatsoever is like covering the sun with the thumb. Besides victim blaming is not the same as saying that even victims have a responsibility to rebuild their lives. That is basically the responsibil… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 02:22 AM |
| 5 | Do compare against the actual past or the imagined past?Most people compare against what they "expect" someone has done, because normal people don't really overshare their past. People don't generally go around saying they cheated, fucked a bunch of guys, went to the hookers or had a crazy past. Generally, the people who end up slipping and saying things like "you're my safe option" are not the majority. Nevertheless, some people do have a reputation for particular things or tend to behave in a way that makes others believe they behave in a certain w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/25 02:14 AM |
| 1 | Women who get abortions should be labelled as "deadbeat mothers".Due to the fact that, according to Pro Choicers, the fetus is not a full-fledged human being, people on that aisle don't see abortion as "abandoning" a child, but rather as a decision not to carry a pregnancy to term (i.e. Not hosting a bunch of cells with no volition for 9 months). Seeing a fetus as a human being is what makes pro-lifers come with arguments like yours, but a significant portion of society does not think that life begins when pregnancy does. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 02:00 PM |
| 5 | Q4M: Would you rather be the Risky choice or the Safe choice in a woman's eyes? Why?I'm already the safe choice. I usually look for LTR, I end up dating girls who have dated people who have been way more attractive than me, but they ditched them for a bunch of reasons (they were cool guys tho, generally it had to do with different lifestyles). Sometimes I get to bang on the first date, sometimes on the fourth or third dates, a few of my previous partners have considered me husband material, and to an outsider... My relationships seem boring, but they are actually pretty amusing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/25 01:37 PM |
| 1 | If you’re waiting 3 dates (or a month) to fuck someone, you would have been better off having a hookup and fucking immediately.My policy in that regard is to just go with the flow of the woman in question. If she wants to fuck me right away IDM and if she wants to wait IDM. What I want is for her to want it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/01/25 01:22 PM |
| -1 | People should think about their priorities before complaining about dating.I'll try to answer the post by giving a simple answer to its premise (i.e, that most men tend to have ridiculous expectations about things like "n counts" and complain when they don't get the woman they expect to get). The problem with most men who complain about those things is that they have a "red pill mindset" but have either never read or don't understand the main premises of red pill philosophy; if they did they would NOT complain as much. Allow me to elaborate. Red pill theory argues that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/24 04:06 AM |
| 5 | CMV: Males should stop dropping out of the dating marketBearing in mind that this is a CMV post, I'll try to address your arguments (Feel free to comment if I misunderstood some of them): Less men means less competition and less willingness to pursue women actively. Although this is basically a tautology, the issue is wether or not these men were eligible to get someone in the first place. If the men opting out of dating are men who are already not being selected by anyone and who rarely make a move in the first place... the actual dating pool of eli… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/24 03:16 AM |
| 1 | Nice guys are just assholes who felt obligated to be nice to get pussy.That's not what the guy who coined the term says about nice guys. I do get your logic (a guy who is pretending to be nice while deep down he's an asshole), but the issue is that the Nice Guy syndrome doesn't really work like that. Robert Glover, who wrote a book about it basically says that the Nice guy is actually a guy who was "conditioned" to please people, put other's needs before his own and avoid accountability for his flaws and bad behaviour because he was taught/ actively thinks that the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/24 02:48 AM |
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