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Kaybee322 Archive

View 2 posts and 31 comments by Kaybee322 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Well I was gonna say I completly discount this person's advice when it's all about creating him into a big monster. I'm here because I have a conflict and I want solutions. I don't want monsters and I don't want victim validation. Nobody here lives with me and knows my faults better than my husband - but nobody knows my strength glory and joy like he does either. He can be my champion, and I can be his, and we just need to meet each other on the same page. I know I am a smart woman for picking h…
/r/RedPillWives14/08/19 08:42 PM
1

Oh yes. I was in the middle. Of somethinf this morning today and he asked me to read a business document on my phone. I said, woudl you lkek me to do that right now? But I asked it in a "Im willing to do that ". He says "yes, I would", so I did. I think me prioritizing his writing a business plan and me dropping my lesson plan with the kids helped encourage today's miraculous message to occur. I am so happy!!
/r/RedPillWives30/07/19 05:25 AM
2

I just wanted you to know... I have been working hard at fulfilling my wife portion of being available late into the evenings, and also working my soft gentle mom in the face of rude and disrespectful behavior, to guide our child back to better behaviors. I've been working this for about two weeks. My husband today, said... He recognized me trying. And that... He was sorry he had ever threatened divorce, and that he had considered his life's goals and his family goals, and that he was taking it …
/r/RedPillWives29/07/19 11:17 PM
1

You're right. I don't have control over my household. I allowed a few early experiences with our first baby to completly wreck my confidence, and then allowed him to cement that further by wallowing in pity myself or be angry and insulted when he said I was doing things wrong. In a way, arguing with the kid, is wrong, because I'm stooping to her level. But I never set boundaries for her back talk that allowed her to grow out of those habits. I have to be in charge of my household, and I avoid ba…
/r/RedPillWives29/07/19 01:52 PM
1

He usually tells me to not pick at her, and she gets embarrassed at being corrected by me. She doesn't know how to handle not being in control. I've come to realize that is my failing. She should be a little kid, allow me to correct her, and realize I am doing it because she is out of line but it doesn't change my feelings about her. Just today she tried to be helpful with another child but I asked her to back up so she didn't get hit by a flailing little kid foot. She wouldn't and then got upse…
/r/RedPillWives29/07/19 03:36 AM
2

We made it to our anniversary, and we are trying to work together. Last night he seemed receptive to some of my flirting so I kept pushing with sexy texts and asking him more personal questions and it led to two hours of us texting from me in the bedroom to him in the living room. When he came up stairs to meet me, we had an amazing night, like, ninety minutes of enjoying each other and building and edging and holding and building and being close. I feel safe and loved in this man's arms. I trus…
/r/RedPillWives25/07/19 02:22 PM
1

I have been trying very hard to show him a cheerful helper and I have noticed his entire demeanor soften. He still complains sometimes about the mood around here but sometimes he doesnt and we all laugh. Today was our anniversary. It has been a kind thoughtful nice day, and he actually surprised me by taking my bike to the repair shop and having me get a new bike seat so I can ride with him and the family. Thoughtful, as usual. . I love him. He is a good man, and I really do believe in him, and …
/r/RedPillWives25/07/19 03:46 AM
1

Well... I didn't want to bring it back up. As much as he complains that I am a horrible mind reader, he has skill at reading my body language and will not allow me grace to sidestep things. The conversation went like: "So I think we can go to this city for our next trip." "OK." "What's wrong?" "Nothing. That city sounds nice." "Uh huh. Why do you look like you have cancer when I talk about our trip?" "Oh... Cmon... I don't have cancer." "See, that was a weird reply. Tell me." "Nothings wrong." "…
/r/RedPillWives25/07/19 03:13 AM
1

We made it. Today is our anniversary... And he fixed my bike for me as a present. He hasn't been interested in romantic gestures, but he's been kind and even. He tried to bring up another trip plan two days ago, and I wasn't overly enthusiastic... And I ended up admitting to him if he ever thought he could, that I would love to have another child and I had a hard time committing to trip ideas. About two years ago I wanted one and I shelved it to get ready for a big international trip. Once we ca…
/r/RedPillWives25/07/19 12:20 AM
1

It's like reading my own story. I believe he is a very good man. He says he doesn't need much and I do want to fulfill his needs, and I need to fulfill other duties in the home that I need help in. It is very tiring to me to handle bills, work, household chores, laundry, cleaning - simply put I often don't handle it all. And then I need to handle my own self care needs as well. But I want to do those things if it leads to us having a happy home. I don't want to complain about my responsibilities…
/r/RedPillWives23/07/19 09:55 PM
1

My husband wants things to work and has felt like I don't put in the required action and follow through to help the children stay butt out of the conflicts. When he hears me being supportive, kind an guiding out children past "reactionary behavior" and into a "let's do this instead" he always has my back and promoting respect to me. I don't like it when he's, from my perspective , disrespectful and rude, but I have a choice to fuel that or feel that or feel a different way. We are both good peop…
/r/RedPillWives21/07/19 05:24 AM
1

It's not my perception of his masculinity. I think it's my fear of femininity. I think in my head I'm OKay with deferring to a leader, unless that leader calls out my mistakes, in which case I am definitely not okay. It is a choice to fully trust your spouse, and I never realized I had fear or concern about me "letting" him make choices that disagreed with mine. I often feel like it's my responsibility to make sure he hasn't overlooked a de tail or else it's my fault if he makes a decision witho…
/r/RedPillWives21/07/19 05:14 AM
1

I don't think it's that straight forward.
/r/RedPillWives21/07/19 05:07 AM
1

I'm not giving up.
/r/RedPillWives19/07/19 07:53 AM
2

She's not a teenager. She's seven. And yes I am humbling myself big time. I can already imagine his response to "can I have one specific thing to work on" and the answer is "I ask for the things I want and you don't give them to me.".... I'm not a fan of the mysterious language, but I think what he is trying to say is YOU DON'T LISTEN EVEN WHEN I DO ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING. And the crappy thing is sometimes, I definitely do listen but I can't don't or won't prioritize what he asks for. Ah I'll get…
/r/RedPillWives19/07/19 07:50 AM
1

Well... We were both working. He got laid off from a job he loved. He got extra jobs and worked way harder even though they didn't pay as well. We looked at the consulting I was doing and he knew he could build my client base. I was working two part time gigs and gone from 10a-8pm, but still my hourly rate was double his. We spoke of a baby and he agreed and instead of daycare he could stay home. I wanted to stay at home but money was easier for me. While I was pregnant with our second, he brain…
/r/RedPillWives19/07/19 07:33 AM
1

This has been very helpful, and I think really chases down some big feelings. I really want us to be compatible, and there has always been, for me, the drama of trying to fulfill feminism ideals of TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF versus more traditional "let him take care of you" that is... Very gray in our relationship... Because I do work. And he stays at home. And we agreed on that. ...
/r/RedPillWives19/07/19 03:31 AM
1

Actually I got a lot of advice to Stfu and try demonstrating real listening. Also, I don't want a beta. But I also don't like being told "don't interrupt" and then he does it to me all the time (and I'm not supposed to cop an attitude). I don't want equality in behaviors if the behaviors are jerky. I want... Well... I want him to desire me and our lives, and seeing as we are a partnership, I'd like to have similar displays of respect. I work out, he stays at home, but we both put time into our f…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/07/19 11:05 PM
1

Well... Follow the advice of a poster here... I followed the script of STFU... And then made sure to vent here.... And decided I was just going to apologize for a small misunderstanding. I HAD TO REMIND MYSELF no blaming no explaining no justifying - just show understanding and express regret. That's it. "hey- sorry to interrupt but I wantes to say I know you're teying to make a nice experience researching and I can understand why you just wanted some quiet." He looks up and makes eye contact wi…
/r/RedPillWives18/07/19 05:58 PM
1

This morning I put on hold our morning coffee to help my kids with something, which... He was irritated at being ignored but said it's fine I was helping children. Later he went to research things on the computer for our upcoming trip... And I wanted to be in the same room to finish a sewing craft. "now everybody's down here" he said, and went upstairs for some peace and quiet. Well, ok... But it's raining and I have a late start for work today. Thinking about him - he usually complains that we …
/r/RedPillWives18/07/19 05:10 PM
1

I'm thinking hard about what you've said. What about when he asks rhetorical questions "why is this happening" - but then accused me of recapping! Sometimes I feel I just have to say "I don't know" but then he doubles down "you're not stupid, tell me what's going on with this". And its like being tricked into JADE. I'M struggling with how to explain stuff without going into a big list of what happened...
/r/RedPillWives18/07/19 11:56 AM
1

I read this fully, and I appreciate the time and effort you took to share this. I certainly don't want to be a heartbreaking case and my children (and me!) (and my husband!) deserve a happy ending. I can't say I've given it my max effort, because I'm honestly not an intuitive intra personal person. I have feminine traits of helping and empathy, but they are MY ideas of what I think that person needs, and it's anathema to me that my effort is misinterpreted. Again. It's never my fault that I wasn…
/r/RedPillWives17/07/19 03:26 AM
1

He asks me to not engage in arguments with them, and to keep my cool and level head and steer the ship with them. He also wants me to steer them into being respectful to me, but by modeling a respectful tone with them. I totally agree with this. I feel like I definitelty can do this sometimes. He said "I've never had a bad interaction with our children that wasn't caused by you" and I realized.... Wow. No wonder he feels resentment. According to him... He coudl handle all the sass and just "pare…
/r/RedPillWives16/07/19 08:32 PM
1

I'm admittedly a mixed bag of how I handle things... I don't fly off the handle, but I also... Engage in things that lead to arguing. I want to know more about JADE and how to undo that stuff. Basically I find myself doing stfu but being so goddamn angry and stifled while doing it. stfu feels humiliating and embarrassing to me. I do it becayse I reason it's better he's speaking to me than leaving me, and I'm trying to make some progress, but I hate hearing him correct me in front of my children.…
/r/RedPillWives16/07/19 08:26 PM
1

His love language is me staying awake after I put the kids to bed and engaging him in discussion and sexual fun. I frequently feel like this requires me to burn the candle at both ends, because I have to wake up early with our elderly dogs... And then cannot get myself back to sleep. He is tired of hearing me explain this and says it's an excuse. We rarely do date nights, babysitters are expensive and so are dates. So he asks for us to spend some alone time in the evening and I usually... Half t…
/r/RedPillWives16/07/19 12:02 AM
1

That's true. There's been a lot of words he has said that have really really devastated me. We're talking like "maybe you shouldn't have had kids". Meanwhile.... I feel like the greatest thing I have ever done and (and still want to do) is have children with my husband. He says later that he doesn't say mean things... Until he is finally so tired of trying to get through to me that the only thing that breaks through my thick shell of stubbornness is the mean cruel stuff. ... I am willing to put …
/r/RedPillWives15/07/19 10:25 PM
1

I have tried to not talk to him about any of this stuff at all... A change from my usual pattern. I took my children this morning for a leisurely book reading. Then took them out of the house and for a walk to park. I let my husband rest on the couch. I picked up a beverage for him while out (something I usually don't do because I usually don't leave the house, but I was trying to be thoughtful like he usually is to me). I have avoided him all morning and am TRYING to connect with other wives he…
/r/RedPillWives15/07/19 08:31 PM
1

Six months ago and I've been trying to implement.
/r/RedPillWives15/07/19 06:57 PM
1

I try to implement self care... And respect. My biggest error is interrupting and trying to say "there's no problem" as I try to fix problems - but he labels this as blaming and excuse making. He has a point. I try to fix things but really focus too hard on deferring blame from me first. This drives him nuts... And a lot of times I don't even realize I'm doing that. He asks me to NOT RECAP but.... He gives me long recaps as he makes his point. And... Things go well when I listen and bite my tong…
/r/RedPillWives15/07/19 06:33 PM
1

He suggested divorce three years ago and it knocked the wind out of me. I had no idea then he felt so badly neglected and ignored and was so disappointed with squabbles. I kind of took the back and forth nature of mom and daughter arguing as normal while he thought I was letting the little three year old completly Bend me out of shape and he had to parent both of us. (you cna imagine I initially took a lot of offense to this, which didn't lead to much me growing up). I had begged to do counselin…
/r/RedPillWives15/07/19 06:17 PM
1

He usually says things like that to her, but sometimes I'm out of line and he's correcting me on being too harsh with her. So when I "wear the pants" I am told I am not nurturing and guiding her. When I try to nurture and guide her, IT CAN WORK. But sometimes she is full on bossy and I need to step up my game. When I fail at doing that and listening to her better things detail and my husband wishes I would just take better care of listening to her and listening to him.
/r/RedPillWives15/07/19 06:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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