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Keepers12345 Archive

View 0 posts and 391 comments by Keepers12345 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/22 03:48 AM
10

Thank you for your service ❤️ You all have to take care of yourselves first. 💯 I feel you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/22 01:37 AM
13

How is a man even approved to comment here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/22 03:50 AM
14

Omg, yea.. they def need to maintain anonymity... hope that they update the site accordingly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/22 01:06 AM
42

100% dishonest with her. If he was clear upfront, then they would have never met up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/22 10:00 PM
9

Maybe because he's no longer on drugs (or on less drugs)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/22 02:22 AM
15

Yet, we all know that in much earlier times, women that had extra fat on their bodies were visually attractive because food was scarce. Wealthy women were plumper. It's on the cover of Renaissance paintings ;) Surely, had he lived back then, he'd be calling society crazy if anyone looked at a thin or athletic woman. Of course, most likely, no one would have cared about what he had to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/22 08:39 PM
16

Yepp, they're too far into denial to feel any shame about their Madonna vs. Whore Complexes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/22 12:28 AM
80

I know. Even his rationalization is ridiculous. He's says that he's concerned that the SI model is being exploited, which he argues isn't appropriate. In other words, he is complaining because he only wants to sexualize and exploit women that he deems conventionally attractive. His entire rant is an objectification of women and blah blah blah. He can't even say the model's name. He describes women by their bodies. Everyone knows that he's just angry that he isn't turned on by this year's cover m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/22 07:24 PM
10

Same!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/22 08:58 PM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 01:54 AM
2

Omg, thank you!!! 😘❣️❣️❣️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/22 10:54 PM
5

Oh, that's smart! 💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/22 10:25 PM
9

Awww, I was hoping that I was back!... it's a diff world without FDS ... miss being here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/22 01:40 PM
1

Love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/22 04:49 AM
10

OMG about cooking! That cooking thing is very interesting. I shall pay more attention to this. In retrospect, that makes a lot of sense. Hmm. Thank you! Love your list! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/22 04:47 AM
5

💯💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/22 06:20 AM
63

Of course
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 05:39 AM
8

Peace of mind imho wouldn't lead someone to trying to convince herself that she doesn't care by posting her experience online. How is she not thirsting for connection that she doesn't get from her husband? I believe that she's settled, weighed the pros and cons, but that life seems so sad. I hope that she doesn't let this arrangement be her happily ever after prison
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/22 05:39 AM
85

And be aware if you can't avoid someone with narcissistic traits ... such as at work, school, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 02:08 AM
3

Amen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 05:28 AM
3

Yay!!! Sending you all of the best, luxurious, abundant, and sweetest blessings for a happily ever after today and all the days of your now new life 💖💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 05:26 AM
4

Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 05:24 AM
36

These 🚩🚩🚩🚩 are once you're deeper than any of use women should ever be: Can't get turned on unless you're wearing whatever color panties or bra, and/or it has to be a g-string, and/or it can't be a g-string and he wants the bands to be at least an inch thick, and before you know it... it's 'Go change your outfit' and/or 'You're going out looking like that?'* *please note: this porn sick man is also controlling, objectifies you, and once he's decided that you're now his madonna, he'll do the Kany…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/22 05:19 AM
35

This is like the Bronner's Magic Soap bottle that I'd actually want to read in the shower!!! Love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 04:31 AM
49

Men like to fancy themselves as the wealthy government ruling class Whereas the 'welfare queen' is the greatest threat to their government, the 'gold digger' is the greatest threat to their officers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/22 01:05 AM
19

They're still going to die when they're going to die, regardless of whether they have a natural or artificial baby face. These guys can lie by a decade but they'll still die bt at least a decade before we will
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 03:50 AM
27

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 03:37 AM
8

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 03:37 AM
21

A divorce attorney isn't a psychologist, marriage counselor, or therapist. His advice isn't credible. He's making assumptions. For every entitled wife and husband, there are way more that are happy and don't nit pick over dollars. This is clickbait.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 09:06 AM
2

I think that he was being manipulative and financially abusive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/22 08:56 AM
92

One hypothesis is that some guys who do this are: Impressed with you, and Insecure, and Have no hobbies (or comparable in degree), and Convinced that they must prove it to themselves and you that they can outdo you at being you, and Talking about it to you because in their minds, they are like.... psshhh, 'I'm going to go to a gymnastics studio to go do a triple round off routine, I can't wait! [internal cheerleaders cheering for him in his head],' and Testing you, don't care, and if you still g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/22 03:14 AM
1

Chair throwing is violence
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/22 08:36 AM
43

Sign of respect? Who invents these delusions? That's the most formal way to spin an a**hole point of view. I bet he has a whole list of these siGnS OF rESpeCt BJ after a long day at work: Sign of respect Sex for putting dishes in the dishwasher: Sign of respect Lingerie: Sign of respect Cooking and cleaning: Sign of respect BJ because it's been a hard day: Sign of respect Imho, guys who demand respect have narcissist characteristics
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/22 08:29 AM
15

"I wonder if the devil remodels every few centuries to keep torture current" !!!! Too funny. What is this world that we're living in? OLD gives men access to just anyone. Some of these guys are like the dude sitting on the curb smoking pot outside a convenience store. That's the reality. In real life, these same family members and friends wouldn't give this guy change, let alone go on a date with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/22 08:14 AM
1

😘💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 06:13 AM
3

OMG. That is so insane. Finding out about a guy's fantasies is quite telling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 06:11 AM
23

So true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 05:58 AM
25

I got my first Reddit Cares last week. I felt very special for belonging to FDS <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 05:57 AM
36

Workaholic Clean freak - can't stand any clutter (yet children are messy) Don't like children in general, but says, "I know that it'll be different with my kids because they'll be part of me, etc" Doesn't take initiative. Like, if you're looking for something, he'll offer to help. If you're going on a rode trip, he'll pack stuff without you needing to ask. He doesn't mind driving. He can handle not getting attention. This may be initially hard to tell when dating since it's usually you and him. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 05:55 AM
410

Just because she wanted space from you doesn't mean that you weren't a good friend . Maybe your words hit her and she has to take them in. It may have felt like victim blaming (dunno). But maybe what you did for her was the best thing that she needed. One thing that may help, if you have had weaker boundaries in some way in the past, you could offer comfort and empathy. Then, instead of saying that she needs to have better boundaries, maybe you can say, "I used to experience XYZ, but then I real…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 02:30 PM
3

Awww <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 06:01 AM
3

Feeling that way too! It's so weird because a few weeks ago (I think?). It didn't feel that way when I defended the purpose of one of the posts at the time. I guess there really has been a wave of negativity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/22 02:15 AM
3

If it gets to the point of tears, it's already been a problem too long. The whole thing is dehumanizing and disregards the wife's reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 12:23 PM
2

Yay!! Omg, and you're def better off :) You deserve better 🌻💕 It'll get easier even if it doesn't feel that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 12:14 PM
1

Temperature is right for me ... not some ridiculous ice box 60 degrees
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 05:45 AM
32

Yea. It sounds like his primary motive is to be one-and-done so he can stay out of the picture and they'll have sex whenever he wants
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 05:18 AM
56

But it says that they "can't" afford fertility tests. He's not only lying, but blocking her from finding out on her own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 05:16 AM
11

These platforms embolden a**holes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 05:13 AM
1

💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 04:11 AM
2

In terms of a romantic soul mate... I believe that the one that one chooses and marries becomes one's soul mate. It's a soul thing but it's also a free will thing. And sometimes, the first or etc. person doesn't work out. So one finds a new soul mate to continue the life journey. I really believe this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 07:07 AM
3

You may be able contact the public school board (in addition to whatever you are doing or planning to do) and submit a public comment on their online system so that it's recorded and public record It's important to have the documentation. Doing it as an online transaction where you can screenshot and know that it was transmitted may help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 07:02 AM
6

What!!???? What woman actually wants to see that??? Like seriously .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 06:52 AM
8

You're not pathetic and it's okay to feel your feelings. You're going to be okay. You're going to be more than okay. <3 Be kind to yourself. I'm sorry OP. Sending you heart energy 🕊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 02:27 AM
26

"Leaving with a disgusted feeling in my gut" !!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 08:35 AM
26

No way. Drugs 4 drugs. He's playing with fire. People can say all they want about them, but there are safer things to do. If a man can't (or won't) enjoy life without drugs, then he's not HV in my book. People that smoke marijuana don't get healthier with age. Anyone who wants to claim otherwise is lying to oneself. "Medical marijuana" for stress or whatever is a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 09:40 AM
41

People laugh when they're uncomfortable. I've laughed at the worst times because I was in shock. Once my ex went off at me because he said that I was laughing at him. That wasn't the case. It was like my brain had no idea how to process the information immediately. My psychologist said that it's a normal human reaction at times when our brains are processing. Just because someone is laughing doesn't mean the person thinks it's funny, "ha ha."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 09:24 AM
3

My local grocery store has digital coupons. In the store, sometimes they'll put one of those "save 75-cents with digital coupon" indicators on the shelf. It takes like 30 seconds to go to the browser and clip the coupon [[no executive function needed :) ] Figured that I mention this in case your local grocery store has a comparable system
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 03:53 AM
4

Omg. I thought Pennywise was just a band. First time that I've heard someone use that word Just Googled it. It means what it sounds like it would mean :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 03:50 AM
11

But those were his iNvEsTmeNtS /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 03:48 AM
3

Omg so insightful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 03:45 AM
55

It's true! Never met ONE man who actually was great at oral or massages despite his claims
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 03:43 AM
6

This is STRATEGY!!! Time saver ~ thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 02:35 AM
47

It's like their Entitlement Antenna activates and they don't realize that being demanding pushes women away The same approaches that get them promoted and respected in other realms doesn't work in relationships I've felt the same way when I was already a budding relationship. Like seriously? (BTW , I know some feedback here says not to speak your mind. However, I think it's up to the person. I don't want to base my actions on what he should or shouldn't hear. If I want to give myself a voice, th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 05:07 AM
27

He gave her a life sentence with no parole!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 03:29 AM
71

I know! We must all be thinking the same thing Men for sure experience sexual and other physiological changes as they age. However, I'm guessing that this guy's skewed thinking has destroyed his body more than his own aging body He was a 40 year old marrying a 20-something year old
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 04:51 AM
52

Saved!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 03:13 AM
101

How many times have you heard that a home "needs a woman's touch" because men just don't pay attention to things? I know, too many!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 03:10 AM
37

Lol!! I hate those colors as decor. Depression city!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 03:07 AM
1

But it's okay... because she's a ride or die chick and he's going ride with her until he finds better ...half /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 04:45 AM
1

This reminds me of that spider newspaper article: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQDm711uoJKKT2aI8TgbJVsaWpdDP-g0XoUWg&usqp=CAU Did a wannabe rapper write that Tweet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 04:44 AM
32

Yea, it sounds like his parents are way more open minded than he is. I wonder if they've always been more open-minded than he is, or whether he ended up getting more conservative after he moved out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 04:24 AM
31

He messed up He's too self-centered to take accountability He's abusive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 04:18 AM
32

Just another example for why it's so important to see your partner in a diversity of settings and interpersonal dynamics. Men who limit women from experiencing what they're like in various environments can keep concealing their masks. They avoid putting themselves in uncomfortable environments. These men's partners are missing out on opportunities to see the less than stellar facets of their bfs/fiances/husbands/whatevers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 03:11 AM
2

I guess it also depends on a man's outlook on life and personality type. The personality types that rise to positions of power and leadership roles are cutthroat persons who often prioritize dollars over people, including their loved ones. Maybe moderately wealthy men are better partners?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 02:59 AM
47

Was it in FDS where someone called men SOUL DIGGERS? I think that it was like yesterday or the other day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 04:56 AM
61

That is SO funny and true! I literally have great memories of an abusive ex because he made my life so much better in many ways. We traveled. He was more into luxuries than I was/am. I for sure cried and cried. But at least I cried in a Rolls Royce kind of situation. I'd rather face heartbreak in luxury because at least my time was spent expanding my life experiences in ways that I currently cannot afford.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 04:45 AM
23

100% and they're not only offering us sex, but also vacations and gifts. And oral sex. If my bf isn't doing taking me on vacations, should I tell him that he's lucky that I'm hanging out with him at home and not exploring the Atlantic on someone's yacht? Should I tell him that other men have no problem going down on me, so I deserve a pat on the back for not cheating? Insanity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 04:30 AM
3

Haha.. I had no idea what you were fixing, but it's all good 🌷😘💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 03:23 AM
3

😘💙💛❣️🙄🌻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 02:48 AM
6

I'm sorry love. "Rejection is protection" -quote from therapist. I keep reminding myself of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 02:34 AM
12

Tell me about the forest 🌷🌳🌈🌻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 02:18 AM
48

I think 911 if you're able to act nonchalantly and step out would be best. If you could either tell the owners/employees OR call the police, then call the police so he can get arrested and kicked out. Police will need to likely come anyway. If police catch him, then they can charge him. If employees say anything, it could escalate. The cops get called. It's the owners saying that someone told them (and then it might turn back on you). Tell police it's an anonymous call. Don't give your name. Tel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 01:50 AM
23

Yea that's how I read it. She probably gets asked what she does all day all too often. Those comments get bottled up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 01:39 AM
1

This post imho is perfect for this sub in terms of the "male depravity" flair. This guy posts on Reddit complaining about life. He's seeking validation. He's calling his experience the "American work life," as if he's the quintessential American worker. Unfortunately, he's the quintessential obnoxious entitled husband. Meanwhile, he later details how little work he does. His wife does it all pretty much at home. He's probably on Reddit commenting on women's posts when his child is in the bathtub…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 01:26 AM
2

I'm sorry hunny ❤ He's worthless. You deserve to be cherished. You deserve someone who sees you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 01:18 AM
41

Ewww. So glad that you never have to get in a car with him again. Creeper
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 01:03 AM
24

Male logyk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 05:19 AM
8

My ex was furious when I suggested a threesome with another guy. I mean, no one was forcing him to make out with another guy. Why can't he just watch?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 04:59 AM
8

If they're strong hunter gatherers, then why aren't they hunting or gathering?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 04:55 AM
78

100% traumatized. The Towel Gaslighter terror is cemented into my psyche. I hope that the she's in a better place now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 12:56 AM
89

"Snorting coke to get through your workweek - no big deal, in moderation" 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 07:01 AM
21

No please. Save your gas money. No need to drop him off. He can walk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 04:46 AM
4

Speaking of STDs, if you didn't get the Gardasil vaccine because it came out after the age cutoff window, please note that the vaccine policy has been revised. Adults up to age 45 can/should get vaccinated to prevent some cancer-related HPV variants. Even if you've already been exposed or have some variant, the vaccine can offers protection against some other types of HPV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 03:51 AM
24

I vote that it's real. You have no idea how some people's moms are. It's nice to imagine everyone's parents as sunshiney. Some women's moms are jealous and conniving. The reality is that these husbands go for convenience. Babysitters. Next door neighbors. Wife's bff. Whoever. Gym staff. Nanny from the Tuesday playdate. If I told anyone what my ex did (totally not related to anything with family members), it sounds outlandish. Literally, the complexity of the betrayals was like some movie produce…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 03:47 PM
76

I don't know about statistically However, I do know for me that I had and enjoyed my explorations. I personally was not looking for a lifelong relationship with 97% of the men. None of them promised me the world. It wasn't like that. It was like I was sharing a moment of time with another human. Having sex with someone is an experience, imho. How we think about our motives and frame or decisions is what separates lib fem from rad fem. Lib fem pressures women to be cool, exploit women, and exploi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 03:23 PM
13

Some U.S. cities have higher HIV prevalence. No city is safe. But if you're living in a high prevalence city or metropolitan area (or are thinking about having with someone who lived in one), then be cautious. Even though many or most cases are because of people having/getting HIV because they're sharing needles. You never know who men have had sex with in his past. States (CDC data) 2019 New HIV Diagnoses - Annual: State Number of Diagnoses Florida 4,378 California 4,354 Texas 4,302 Georgia 2,4…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 03:11 PM
28

This is such a phenomenon. The fact that one sock just disappears after your clothes are dry is understandable enough. Conversely, I cannot comprehend how a man can grow up with a bed, with a bedframe, in his bedroom, and think that it's not a necessary piece of furniture once he's an adult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 04:53 AM
21

Yea, for sure. Obviously, there's more to the story. He calls her a spoiled brat. He sounds dreadful. On Facebook? Dude needs to go to Craigslist, IDoNowIDont, or better yet, a pawn shop. Sharing a room with her family is weird. The fact that he picked up records on his wedding day? Running errands or "working"? Then, his wife wakes up to him the morning after they got married and he's crashed on the couch because he likely got wasted the night before. WTF's up with that "SHE PICKED OUT." Yea du…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 03:58 AM
12

I rented a room at a guy's house back in the day. He had a room to spare because his gf just moved out one day. He was still in shock. It had only been a few weeks. He told me that he knew that she wanted to get married. She told him. I think that she and/or he had turned 30. She really just packed up and moved out of his home 100% in a day or so. I think about him sometimes. At the time, I could never see myself married. Now that I've lived and experienced more, I feel differently. It's so bad*…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 03:35 AM
253

Yea, you know why... because women rather live a LOT, not "a little."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 02:54 AM
25

💎❤🌻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 02:12 AM
27

Oops,"... and money" for $800, Alex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 02:09 AM
70

I'll take "Charlatans who waste women's time teaching them how to waste even more of their time" for $800, Alex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/22 02:08 AM
25

I have not been in this situation, but when it comes major investments, such as houses, I think that it's safer not to do business with friends here. They're not starting a business. However, a house requires maintenance and repairs. Someone will have to fix whatever needs to be done. If a friend moves out and doesn't pay, then the friend's failure to pay her mortgage share will eventually bring down your credit. [My ex wanted to buy a house for his broke friend who had enough money to rent a ro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 02:20 AM
53

Omg, and then there are the narcissists (even mild on the scale) or just toxic AH that turn any question or curiosity as you criticizing them, bossing them around, and whatnot. They go around saying that women shouldn't criticize their partners. I'm like, dude, I just asked you about xyz. I wasn't even mad. Learning about narcissists has been so validating. Oh, and the entitlement! A toxic man will eat away at whoever his partner is, regardless of how amazing and assertive she is. Removing mysel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 01:25 AM
29

And that poor boy would grow up with no freedom to establish his own identity. College tuition to keep a name? Privileges? His parents want to replace their lost child because they can't accept that their son is dead? That's a JUST NO SO, MIL, and FIL I feel so bad for her and her child. Imagine if their child is nothing like BIL (I mean, why would he be? Because he shares the same name?). Will the parents then force him to be someone else. Obviously, I don't have to say all of these things. I a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 01:09 AM
5

Then you have some of them who are just the former.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 01:03 AM
64

I'm guessing that you mean starting your family via sperm donor? If so, s family member of mine went this route. It was the best thing for her. She is not attracted to men. So, her life plan was never with a man. She did it when she was financially ready. Here's something cute. Her gf at the time had a daughter with a sperm donor a few years before my relative. When my relative was ready, she used the same sperm donor. So her children have a biological sibling that they've known since childhood.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 12:44 AM
32

True. He probably called his last SO a sucker or comparable neg. Plus, he shows no remorse for taking advantage of customers for the sake of profits. I'm even wondering if she really called the office to ask him out. I'm not taking his word for it. She could have called with a question about the rental car (not an unreasonable hypothesis). She could have talked to someone who told her that she doesn't need the damage waiver. He said that he'll refund her if she goes on a date with him. He could …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 03:55 AM
98

We think he can stay at home with his mommy Or, at least that's what I think ...The great thing about these men having no actual adulting life or relationship experience is that they never have to learn that being in a relationship doesn't mean that your partner checks off your To Do List. Thanks for ranting here. This sub is like the eyebleach for the female dating/socializing experience. (Not actual adorable eye bleach, but very validating. I appreciate your post because it reminds me that I'm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 02:56 AM
21

Thank you I'm opting out because it can be triggering Maybe I can get the transcript so I don't have to hear it (audibly), but still get the message I've been listening to Dr. Ramani and her videos have helped immensely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 05:19 AM
82

Hi ______ what was your most spontaneous adventure? Hey, you have a beautiful smile 😉 Hi I'm Josh, before we go forward, I want you to know that there are two approaches to life and relationships. I am a very private person and prefer not to talk about work. So the first approach is the man is the provider. That works for some people. The other approach is a partnership of equals and that's what I'm looking for. If you are on the same page and want to proceed, let's talk.* *The real version is S…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 05:11 AM
21

He's probably one of those guys who tells crude jokes and talks about unimportant topics, such as sports, and then goes into talking about politics where he talks over everyone. She can't even hold a conversation with him because he has no idea what a conversation is. Lastly, he's one of those, "whoosh that went over your head. You didn't get it" guys who tell stupid jokes that you can't help but think WTF? In your head. Nothing was remotely funny. No woman with any common sense could even reaso…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 02:32 AM
6

He's probably one of those guys who tells crude jokes and talks about unimportant topics, such as sports, and then goes into talking about politics where he talks over everyone. She can't even hold a conversation with him because he has no idea what a conversation is. Lastly, he's one of those, "whoosh that went over your head. You didn't get it" guys who tell stupid jokes that you can't help but think WTF? In your head. Nothing was remotely funny. No woman with any common sense could even reaso…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 02:31 AM
5

Thank you. 100% Women have agency and it's not up to men to judge what feminism is. I know that there's a lot of resistance toward being a SAHM here, but if a woman goes into it with a financial plan, with a HVM, and ducks in a row, it's not a bad thing and she's just as valuable of a person. Children need family and support. Each person has her own path. Success isn't just about bringing home a paycheck or working for a corporation. Some men and women judge other women and it's a shame
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 02:22 AM
3

Crickets That's all they get
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 02:17 AM
133

I'm guessing that him staying at home during the pandemic was exhausting for her and there's way much more to this story
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 02:10 AM
245

Don't even need to read it to know the answer. Men who turn to Reddit like that need therapy and a reality check, but they're not looking for truth. They'll cherry pick whatever replies that they get
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 02:07 AM
84

Also it's important for a guy to know that every woman's body is different. Even the same woman may have variations in her menstrual cycle and moods from one cycle to the next. Guys who see a woman as a sex applicance may be oblivious about whether she really is up for it depending on the day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 02:06 AM
22

100% There's a time and place for coupes. I'm wondering if she'll end up with a more "family friendly" car, having to do the hard work and baby transporting in her vehicle, while he'll be keeping his pristine clean and out of the picture soon enough (this sounds so pessimistic if I had no idea what women's reality is)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 01:46 AM
15

He's playing that, "If I keep lying then it must be true" logic. Or will be true. Or whatever BS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 01:42 AM
37

Right, he said "half" and I'm assuming he means his half, which will likely more than half for her. PLUS he'll triple her house work, reducing her time to climb the ladder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 01:40 AM
74

Haven't read the article (and not planning to) but how does this help her and her child? It's not even a family car. Why buy him a fast car, where baby and child seats will be cramped? Is he going to be sticking packages of diapers, groceries, the baby, baby's stroller, and what not in this sports car?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 01:38 AM
3

First of all, yay for getting out and establishing a better and brighter present and future!!! :) One of my favorite Personal Bill of Rights: "13 | I have the right to expect honesty from others." Well, my Personal Bill of Rights says that I have the right to trust others. If I dated a liar who was manipulative, that's on him. Not me. I have a right to live my life and expect others to be honest. It's not my job to take on P.I. work to determine if my SO is shady. I have learned and am more caut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 03:20 AM
6

"13 | I have the right to expect honesty from others." Well, my Personal Bill of Rights says that I have the right to trust others. If I dated a liar who was manipulative, that's on him. Not me. I have a right to live my life and expect others to be honest. It's not my job to take on P.I. work to determine if my SO is shady. I have learned and am more cautious, but not because I chose poorly last time. I would not redo those experiences. They were overall helpful. Now, I'm taking things slow, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/22 03:09 AM
4

Yepp, they love slurping up that narcissism supply. Scammy on the inside and playing all holy on the outside And, child predators go for vulnerable women, like single moms who think that their children are getting a good male role model, and/or parents with children who have disabilities or learning difficulties. This religious leader goes around looking all humble because he delivers food to hungry families and tutors after school. His enablers will pressure families who do speak up. --- A "rea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 11:26 PM
10

Thank YOU 😘💯💯❣️❣️❣️ Love LOVE love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 02:53 AM
9

I hate when people say that! Explicitly or implicitly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/22 02:46 AM
91

The amount of times that I've heard men say that women dress up to look hot for them is likely in the hundreds. I get dressed up for myself. Guys who think like that are over grown toddlers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 05:23 AM
111

Such an excellent message! Thank you OP. <3 So true. I never thought about it that way. In the last relationship, he was so insistent on staying home. All the other factors added up and I broke down. I don't want to stay home. There's a big amazing world to explore. I love how you mention the travel companion. Yepp. In past relationships, I loved to travel with my bfs. I don't want to give up a multidimensional life to do work/home/sex/sleep. That's not a life, that's a routine. But routines are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 04:16 AM
41

That's true. We all leave when it's too much.* We learn as we go and establish better standards. *Realistically, often that means when a woman has a safe way to get out. Even when it's too much, and we're ready to leave, it takes time to gather the resources and necessities to get to a better place and cut off ties for good (or as much as possible).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 04:10 AM
1

If he has a job, I bet he was typing his whole post out at work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 05:16 AM
62

And women actually use them in a positive way. For example, the sis in the restroom who hands you a tampon under the stall because she had extra in her purse. The lady who pulls out a bandaid from her wallet just in time when you're starting to bleed from a papercut. The mom who hands her child a tissue pack. ... purses are functional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 04:25 AM
4

Omg! You're right. So insightful. He literally sees her as an object and doesn't get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 02:55 AM
7

Ew! I'm experiencing second hand disgust at visualizing that over 10 years later
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 02:35 AM
24

I know!! I star and save them. I've ruminated on wishing I would have all the replies lined up when I've spoken up about this. Oh well. Hopefully I will be able to refer back to these saved posts and bookmarks. I would print them out or whatever but that's too triggering. The reality is that in cases where someone actually cares enough to hear in the future, hopefully I likely won't feel or be pressured to have all the answers to the "what about..?" and that's okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 02:30 AM
5

I know! I can't even get to the part about the ad's message because all I'm thinking about is, "Why would they do that? Her dress is getting dirty. No one would ruin a thousand or thousands something dollar dress. Why doesn't he care about her getting her dress dirty too? Why would they do that? Are they in a parking lot?"...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 11:38 AM
123

It's ultimately your call whether to hint at the bigger picture by expressing that you're not happy. It's up to you whether you feel comfortable being so direct right away. Will he talk to other people who may put pressure on you? Will it make it harder to get all of your belongings out if he knows right away? Will he take it personally? Will saying something before you leave make it harder for you to go through with it? At the same time, even if the answers are yes or maybe or who knows, listen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 04:10 AM
280

Can you be vague for now and say that you have a lot on your mind and need to stay at your mom's for the next few days or so, maybe week? You have some things to address. Trust that you'll know what to say when you need to say it. Right now, maybe action is the best choice because it will get you into a space where you have greater authority and autonomy over how you tell him and when you'll tell him. It's so wonderful that your mom has your back. Break ups with better guys can be tough because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 03:44 AM
19

My co-favorite FDS term! The other co-favorite is mantrum! So accurate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 03:35 AM
643

I'm so sorry. You sound like you're in a good place to make this call. For these kinds of issues (never engaged, but major life decisions), my therapist has helped guide me. That said, peer support often is unparalleled. Here's what I've learned, it helps to have at least one person who knows where you are, why you're doing what you're doing, and will validate your choices. That person doesn't necessarily need to be a family member or a friend. Once you tell that one person, you can work on brea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 03:17 AM
93

Gaze: No eye contact. Look away from their existence, even when closer, don't look at them, look beyond them as if you're at the optometrist and the doctor asks you to look at her left ear and then right ear. You never look at someone. Even if they're talking to you. Body language: If they ask you anything, ignore, shrug your shoulders or look away. Point to someone else who can answer the question. Even when you're alone, think of a convenience store or whatever place that that you can point to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/22 02:56 AM
2

If anything, hopefully the worst case scenario will indeed be a restraining order and 5150. It's hard to know that anything could happen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 04:06 AM
48

He's already there and no one is calling him out on it. It's such a double standard that Kathy Griffin was canceled on the spot for doing what she did, which was sick but it was obviously a terrible attempt at humor. Meanwhile, Kanye's taking that to a whole more dangerous and person level, including stalking Kim and her bf (they had to move location spots because Kanye got word), and he calls it music and gets away with it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 03:29 AM
77

Imagine if his wife's fidelity was dependent on him maintaining upstanding character
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/22 01:34 AM
10

Hey sweetie, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You're not the problem. Most likely, he won't change. Even if he does stop drinking, that doesn't mean that he will be a better partner to you. One year ago, I was in a dysfunctional relationship with a man who I thought was so sweet and just had some major problems (including drinking, but he didn't see it as a problem because he still went to work, didn't drink every single day (even going without drinking for two weeks or so periodical…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 07:13 PM
3

Me three
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/22 03:14 AM
10

Especially because it'll give girls the chance to learn to separate their fathers'/stepfathers'/mom's-bfs'/uncles'/etc. behaviors from anything that they or another woman in their lives is and has done
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/22 03:51 AM
37

I agree. I need to take and get to know someone. I know early on if it's a "hell no" and I'm grossed out. Otherwise, attraction doesn't have to be instantaneous to be real and good. I've dated great guys who I wasn't sure about at first. Retraining myself to not be quick to judge and to take my time has been game changing. I agree that we don't have to force ourselves to date someone we're not attracted to, and yet believe that it's important to realize that we're looking for someone who will be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 03:58 AM
2

Lol! "Justified insecurities"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 11:23 AM
3

This looks so much like a real guy's profile (just more accurate)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 11:21 AM
1

Omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 11:20 AM
2

Sounds like he will never get a driver's license Unless he lives in a city where literally no one drives anywhere and he's wealthy enough to pay for professional drivers to take him to non-transit places, I don't get it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 11:17 AM
5

"This ice is too cold!!" Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 11:15 AM
4

That would also help her when her "ex" tries to gaslight the justice system and claim that she's kidnapping his son
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 11:13 AM
1

This is Life Smarts!!! Thanks! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 11:06 AM
2

100% jealousy and resentment. Whereas a woman who's experiencing postpartum depression would still have a relatively hard time even with extra support (for at least until she's in a better place), a man can go from experiencing so-called symptoms of "postpartum male depression" and walk away from his family or go party with the boys over the weekend and his postpartum "symptoms" just miraculously disappear .... Men just realizing that they're no longer the babies of the house
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 10:58 AM
3

His age and everything is so fishy here For whatever reason, thankfully the universe spared you from whatever else his deal is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 10:29 AM
16

Thanks for your research and post OP! I wish we could have some massive Google doc or Sheets where we add to the list of names of men and the files that we already retrieved ... I mean, those men aren't going anywhere, after I look someone up and pass on him, it would be awesome if the next woman he tries to date could access that info easily
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 10:05 AM
1

💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 09:59 AM
19

Wow!!! Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 09:53 AM
76

Appropriate, immediate, and severe consequences that are proportional to one's behavior aren't punishment - I hope that she and her husband continue being the light and strength that this woman and her child need to get through these years and beyond.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 03:00 AM
37

Happy Birthday Lovely!!! WoOhooOo🥳🥳🥳🥳💜💜💜💜🌈🌈🌈💎💎💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 02:03 AM
4

He's also a drug addict He smokes pot and sounds like he's 24/7 paranoid, agitated, and obsessed with his mom In addition to being a narcissist His entitlement and grandiosity is off the charts. He's the worst kind of person to marry and divorce
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 12:05 PM
4

It's so sad but the reality. People who go into relationships with a former addict should be given all the tools, statistics, and facts to be prepared. Instead, women are judged and problems are downplayed. You know what is not uncommon with people that were doing drugs? Lying. Lying. Lying. Hiding. Sneaking. Lying to family. Going to work and pretending that they weren't naked in who knows where doing drugs with multiple strangers frequently for years and decades. When I went to learn more, eve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 01:58 AM
9

Sounds like he's fighting to be the hero to his own life story He can't offer anyone anything, so he turns to the internet for validation, telling them that he "settled" and is thus a great guy He can't face the reality that this is and was his life His wife deserves so much better than Mr. 30 Years of Denial He's literally telling everyone that he lost touch with reality, and he's getting applauded for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 01:50 AM
106

When "I have physical needs" is them saying that they are entitled to get their bangmaid benefits regardless of what's going on in your life. You could be sick and dealing with major life events and instead of being supportive, they out their sense of entitlement. They learned to communicate their needs in therapy, but that doesn't mean that they're applying these communication skills appropriately or as intended. I listened to the FDS podcast featuring Lundy Bancroft. Lundy said that these men …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 02:17 PM
7

I really would rather stay home and eat microwaved food than spend my time getting ready and then stare at a man inevitably talk about politics, having no hobbies, his work, and digress into passive aggressive rants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/22 04:33 AM
1

Has he ever gone there without a woman? I'd be curious if he went to the same place with his 2nd to last ex. Is it a place he goes annually, and so important to him that he wants his gf to take in the awe of the place? Also, did he mention ever taking her (AND YOU) on trips that she (OR YOU) have been wanting to go? I think that it's totally understandable and valid that it feels uncomfortable to be in this "same thing, new girl" setting. If you do decide to go (and stay with him for now while y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/22 10:07 AM
5

Thank you SO Much!!! I listened to two FDS podcasts over the weekend. So funny, and so insightful. I appreciate you sharing these podcast updates :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/22 03:21 AM
49

Here's what helped me go from not knowing what life will be like without him (, all the while knowing that he was the most toxic person in my world and I could never see him the same way after discovering he was a liar,) to being so excited and feeling so free that it is not only like, "who?," "what?," but like truly living that motto, "never again": Because it was applicable in my case, I was in Al-Anon virtual meetings (via the Al-Anon Family Groups mobile app) every single day for 6 months or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 09:23 AM
19

Simon!!! I just choked on my saliva (have a mint in my mouth) laughing so hard when I saw Simon. Perfect arrangement! Seen. Every. One. Of. Them. Thanks for taking the time to entertain us with these OLD guys. Now we can play Bingo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 03:30 AM
1

Lol. I know!!! Someone needs to be honest with him. Denial What's his dating strategy? Getting wasted and taking drunk women back to his place? Notice how one may infer that he never had a relationship with any of these women. No one stays drunk forever, so those women were one night stands. And I have no idea what his aloof strategy is; regardless, he's all about hitting his target 10. Who wants a guy like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 06:37 AM
28

Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 03:09 AM
27

I want to say that you're not attracting them... they're out there and I'm guessing that you might be more exposed to them and accessible for whatever reason But please don't think that you're a narcissist magnet. Those guys are the problem and predators We don't need to internalize the BS patriarchy narrative that women somehow are the ones attracting these guy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 02:37 AM
8

Something that my therapist taught me was that with some guys, even if you're perfectly fine going in, then before you know it you'll be on meds because living with him will drive anyone crazy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 02:30 AM
28

And our time, heart, and energy are the other MOST valuable gifts that we can bestow on another person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 02:26 AM
24

So he's a stay at home dad and unhappy because he wants his wife to do what he's doing instead?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 05:35 AM
4

He's been bullying her for over a decade. After throwing a live mantrum, ruining Swift's precious moment winning an award, he should have been shunned and escorted out. I can't imagine feeling safe around him. He's unhinged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 04:43 AM
3

The best way to understand a narcissist's behavior is knowing that his actions don't make sense. It's all ego. In this case, it's ego coupled with paranoia and delusions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 04:40 AM
2

Spot on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 04:32 AM
8

YELLING at the TV, drinking beer, grunting and cheering, and maybe some high fives... men say that watching the recording is not the same. (Heaven forbid they meet a man who also cannot attend for an important reason, and so they plan to watch the game together on a different day. That would be absurd! /s) The results are all over the news. Even if they don't look up the scores, they can't walk around knowing that other people know what they don't know. ... It's so weird that these men are like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 07:16 AM
6

Wtf. Curiosity killed the wee wee for two generations of men in that family
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 06:59 AM
9

Me too. I love doing activities!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 12:03 PM
13

Performative "kindness" Transactional "respect"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 11:53 AM
34

AITA for telling my new boss that his intern is a porn obsessed misogynist who is a sexual harassment liability and doesn't know how to separate his private life with workplace conduct? --There. Fixed it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 03:58 AM
68

Women are tired of MEN. Don't believe me, ask a woman. 😉 Where's the male love coach that's going to take these dudes money and teach them how to be refreshing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 04:39 AM
24

Killer!!! 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 03:28 AM
3

Dr. Ramani has a good video on this relationships are a miRrORr BS! It's totally stupid magical thinking junk that idiots are using to blame women and keep them from peacing out. https://youtu.be/eWlAiQG9Ejw
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 02:18 AM
12

Posting screenshots of their DMs feeds their egos
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 04:12 AM
58

No one should be giving these cheaters the time of day to vent about their "reasons" for cheating. Their selfish behaviors have NOTHING to do with their partners. Post-research study, surely some of these men (if not all) walked away feeling pretty proud of themselves, thinking that they're helping humankind (and their fellow bros) by sharing their experiences with a researcher. Waste of research funding
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 02:46 AM
14

Makes me so mad! D.E.N.I.A.L. She needs to wake up and remain quiet Horrible. Let's be slave positive? No. The answer is to admit that someone who thinks like this is a predator, and should be barred from pitching coercion loopholes. It makes no sense that we institutionalize people for being mentally off, and/or a danger to themselves and others. Give people with these fantasies medications. They're not okay. They're the deviants preying on the vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 02:22 AM
24

...and if he wasn't ready to get engaged to you, then he'd know that at any minute, you could walk away from him in a blink. The problem with a promise ring is that, in this scenario where a man gives his gf a promise ring, it's a mechanism that a man uses to keep a woman artificially and arbitrarily more committed to her bf beyond reason. If they're dating, and she's unhappy, then poof, she can leave. It won't necessarily be easier, but still. They aren't married. They aren't even engaged. She'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 11:40 PM
23

Wow!! Glad that you followed your heart 💖. I wish you the best. That was not an easy decision. Thank you so much for your update and thank you for sharing.💗🕊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 01:27 PM
21

/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 04:03 AM
247

Tbh, I wouldn't say anything. You've made a mental note of it. Your father likely isn't interested in hearing his daughter telling him what to do (you're not, but he may take it that way). I'm really sorry OP. That's a very sensitive subject. Talking to him may not be healthy. But, I don't have the right to tell you what to do. Would it be beneficial to you if you said something, even if it made life uncomfortable?. I can see the desire of wanting to speak one's peace. Wish you the best with you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 04:02 AM
21

One of my ex's was a calculated in each step of betrayal, repeatedly choosing and covering up. He was deliberate, planning the foundation, building up the lies. Giving men less credit for their ability to plan, weigh options, and intentionally disregarding our feelings does us an injustice. Sure, plenty of men just don't consider what they're doing other than meeting their needs. Others, however do. They've lived long enough to prefer surfing on women like waves to the shore until the waves brea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 02:49 AM
30

I hate how men assume that you spending your precious time with them has no monetary value. F his gifts. Being by your side, and keeping him company is priceless. That said, you can always price out your time, and send him the bill for wasting yours. Toddler men think that they can barter their trinkets in exchange with you giving them your time, and you still owe them? Babysitting isn't free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 07:13 AM
8

Omg, I'm so sorry. So glad that you're here now. No one should ever be treated that way. 💖💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 05:57 AM
1

You just 100% described my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 05:53 AM
44

I read his profile 3.5 times and I still don't understand what he's saying. The "fake masculinity" part confused me. It made me wonder if he's bi or something. I guess he's one of those guys who wants a lady to cook and clean. If she doesn't, and fit into his "women's work" mold, then she's some masculinity faker?? He gives me creepy conspiracy theory nutjob vibes. A photo of himself holding up a big dead or dying fish would attract more women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 05:44 AM
9

Negging
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 04:15 AM
11

You nailed it 💯❣❣❣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 03:30 AM
11

💖💖💖 I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better. You will trust again even if it doesn't feel that way now. You gained experience that leads to growth. Give yourself credit; you've overcome a lot. Xoxoxo.💖💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 04:00 AM
17

💖💖💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 03:57 AM
29

Lol!!! 😂 Toilet bowls that haven't been clean since the last tenant/home owner. Dust bunnies crossing your path if you walk too fast. They pay attention to what they want to pay attention to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 03:54 AM
17

Planting a seed is more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. Great job for doing so! Sometimes people need to contemplate, explore, and take it slow. Sometimes these same women will become curious, and once you're here, it's hard not to see through the BS barriers. What people say is not who we are. Even if they appear so, I promise that your words did not fall on deaf ears.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 01:01 AM
7

How could it not get worse? Narcissists rarely change. If they do, it's because they recognize that their bad and abusive behavior, albeit beneficial to them, is worth losing (as well as their perceived entitlement) for some greater cause. The chances of being in a relationship with a covert narcissist and life getting better for you during that time is a trace percentage. Yes, they became more self-centered, self-absorbed, and insatiably power driven during the duration of our "relationship." L…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 05:23 AM
30

Today, I was thinking about how every time I've reach a milestone birthday (ending in a 0 or 5), I realized that the creepiness does not stop. Men 10+ years older than I am are the new creeps. There are 25 year old creeps. 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60+ creepy guys out there. I think that I'm finally realizing that I need to accept the fact that men at any age can be immature, creepy, and petty. I was so naive to expect that eventually men like this guy simmer down at some point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 03:57 AM
80

Eww, and how he plays the victim because he tried to get his EX-wife to "open" the relationship, but boo hoo, the ex didn't want to (because she's a sane and reasonable person with boundaries), so he just had to have an affair. wa waah. Like wtf? When that's his point of view, then he's incapable of being in any relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 03:19 AM
4

Also drinking coffee while you start dating someone, in general, can make it difficult to decipher if you're actually attracted to him, or if you're simply responding to the effects of the caffeine. Some dating "tips" mention going out for a coffee date to elevate her heart rate, so her heart rate elevates, mimicking feelings of love/attraction. https://www.scientificamerican.com/video/if-you-think-its-love-switch-to-decaf-how-we-misinterpret-emotional-arousal/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 02:59 AM
551

So they're Nice Guys 2.0.😂 If their strategy is same same, different package, then I think we'll be okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 04:55 AM
48

Yea, whatever, confirmation bias. Feeding the trolls. You know that others IRL told him that spending $7,500 on his 7-year girlfriend isn't unreasonable. The ring that she chose was modestly priced. He'd be benefiting from paying rent. What's his logic there? That he isn't willing to invest in a ring that the love of his life will be wearing his entire life?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 04:07 AM
13

Yes, I'd consider his response a red flag. Is it really too much to want to establish a life with someone who respects you and honors your decisions, even if they conflict with his? He can't undo the consequences of his behaviors by taking away your rights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/22 04:31 AM
84

Bring up the subject of celebrities and public figures, see who they admire Also ask about sports... I wouldn't want to date anyone who's into MMA, boxing, or football* *Some may consider ruling out football as going too far, but I don't want to be with someone who overlooks the fact that the sport revolves around aggression and doesn't care about men's mental health or life longevity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 05:14 AM
21

Disney dads are so destructive. And they play all clueless, as if they don't know that they make it harder for their children to have a stable upbringing by riling them up every other weekend, or whatever the arrangement is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 03:35 AM
4

I admire you for acknowledging this <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 02:38 AM
26

"Let's study together" ~ umm, nope. In my history, only one guy actually was a phenomenal study partner. Literally everyone else had ulterior motives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 02:35 AM
51

I have way more time to enjoy life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 02:33 AM
6

two years is nothing! who knows if he'll even remain in prison that long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 04:23 AM
17

He's in the wrong. If having a mined diamond was important to her, then he's not respecting her. Honestly, a lot of women (and men) find mined diamonds to be more special and spiritually significant, even if they get less "bang for your buck." A natural diamond is material that went through immense pressure to become a beautiful, solid, light reflecting, and lasting gem. A lab created diamond isn't the same formula, so regardless of its components, it's not the same. Even if she never knew that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/22 03:41 AM
1

I recently made a really amazing friend when I went to a young professionals networking dinner. The guys weren't dating prospects, but I'm so glad that I went because I ended up meeting such a wonderful new person. I haven't been in a while, but in my area, there's a nonprofit that provides free professional development classes for women. That was another great way to meet smart and driven women. Please don't undersell yourself. Many women might be able to relate to you, seeing strength and grea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 03:17 PM
5

WHAT!!! So wrong. I feel so sad for his daughter. So selfish of him. He should be at the beach playing in the sand/ocean with his daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 03:40 AM
9

Housing. Is he willing to be all in and open to making a life with a future wife, wherever that may lead (mutual respect for both careers, families, etc.)? I've talked to men who: One divorced dad only rented a 2-bdrm over two years after his divorce because he needed an office space because he's been working from home due to Covid-19. This guy isn't lacking financially (one bit). Once he got more space, then he said that now his daughter is able to come sleepover (in his office/her bedroom). Fi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 02:49 AM
45

Bad at sex??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 06:47 AM
2

Nothing in his long spiel has any information that supports his opinion that he's some sugar daddy. In NY, a black car is an UBER. An UBER. He can't even pay for her UBER? What does he expect her to do, put on some sneakers, her winter coat, mittens, gloves, hat, earmuffs, and trek to his place and then leave after an hour so that she won't be taking the subway at an even more risky hour? So ridiculous. And if she's coming to his place, then what's the benefit for her? He wants her to buy him al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 06:45 AM
5

I know! I recently met a friend that's around the same age as I am. She uses the OLD app that I used to use (don't want to ever go back). I asked her about her recent match, just in case it's someone who've I've already talked to. I have a stack of notes and screenshots on men in our age bracket. Really wish that we could swap notes, because I may even come across one or more of these guys at religious gatherings or where ever. I don't feel right about posting the actual details about what guys …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 05:26 AM
22

I think he can express he wants to marry you and you can AGREE to get married, and then the next day or next few days (say, that weekend) go choose a ring, try some on irl, maybe pick something out and he can return to buy and then surprise you with a proposal. I don’t see the problem in ring shopping together after agreeing to marry, but you’re certainly not engaged until you have a ring. Right on. Choosing a ring that you love with your partner is wonderful (imho) shared experience. The propos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 03:01 AM
85

"Oh, I'm so glad that you're here. This house needs a feminine touch." ... when I arrived to my ex's new house and his mother was visiting. She went from being totally against me to liking me after a few years, when she finally realized that I wasn't some monster out to get her son. After that, she was desperate for us to get married because she wanted a big wedding where she could show off to her friends and brag about her life. She also was rapid for grandchildren, which terrified me because i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 05:28 AM
2

Ewww, I'm so sorry. <3 I can relate to some (or a lot) of that with an ex of mine. It's so gross how some mothers cannot see outside themselves and their needs. I'm kinda hesitant to write this on Reddit, but hopefully I won't dox myself... once when my ex put a boundary with his mother,* she told him something creepy and explicit to the extent of, "You're treating like we're getting divorced." My ex at least was weirded out by her comment. *In the last years, they've become super chummy again. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 05:08 AM
9

I love how she said that women are in their element when they can be feminine. I feel this to my core!! My life is a daily fight fight fight (not physical, but indeed battles that force me to watch out for myself). I love being able to relax and rely on a man who's actively invested. I have more to give when I'm not having to step up to fill in the masculine roles. I'm not saying that men can't be soft, but there's nothing attractive about being with someone's sonsband who expects his partner to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 05:00 AM
3

<3 Major hugs and love. I'm so sorry that you went through all of that. Every other sentence of your post was like witnessing an avalanche snowballing towards an innocent village. Prospective MIL who's medically irresponsible and everyone's buying into her Munchausen's. Burdening her children with the responsibility of raising her child? Please don't feel guilty for not wanting to commit yourself to taking care of someone else's growing child. You don't need to explain why you're not a bad perso…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/22 04:48 AM
55

Wish that I could give you an award... here's a star ⭐
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 03:58 AM
31

Ooops... gotta complete that sentence... --AND GO ON LIVING YOUR FABULOUS LIFE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 02:56 AM
5

Thank you 🙏🏼❤ Now, I know better. None of the "good" parts of that relationship outweighed the rest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 12:50 PM
38

M.A.N.I.P.U.L.A.T.I.O.N. Of course you'd think that he was paying for takeout. You were concerned about having food. It's not like you couldn't imagine another solution, such as takeout. He knew that money was a factor. He said what he felt like saying at that moment so you'd agree to following his plan. Manipulation. Strategic approach to not only get you to do what he wants, but shame you afterward, leaving you second guessing yourself. A normal and non-manipulative partner would not take adva…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 05:14 AM
5

Ask to stop by a gas station or 7/11 to get a cold drink, lottery ticket, banana, whatever... Before you leave the convenience store, make sure no one else is on the way in or out, so he'll be the one opening the door for you. Take your time walking out, and verify his height on the height chart at the exit.* *Find a location that has one... I've seen those height markers on the inner door post of many convenience stores. Their intended use is to identify the height of robbers and burglars, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 04:58 AM
20

So that's why it's called eyebleach!!! I had no idea. Cuteness really helps cleanse my brain from visualizations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 04:04 AM
16

Right to choose, like abortion? I'm asking in all sincerity because recently I've discovered that some men have no problem agreeing that women have a right to choose whether to abort and men have no say. Yet, some of these same men have strong (oppositional) opinions on a woman's right to choose being a SAHM when money isn't a barrier (because you know, who needs a useless mooch who sits at home and doesn't contribute to the two income career couple dynamic ... /s). Dating has been a great learn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 04:01 AM
16

I'm skeptical of match makers too because they're so skilled at selling each prospective match that I don't trust most of them to not coach a man on what to say, not say, and what they shouldn't disclose with me, at the expense of my rights and due diligence. Plus, so many matchmakers are in it for the matches. They tell you how many matches they made (i.e., their matched couples who eventually got married), that I really don't know if they even turn away anyone who clearly isn't ready for marri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 03:52 AM
22

I wouldn't date a man who idolized the former, who I see as someone who openly admits to using drugs and who spits out pubic statements that are generally emotionally immature, arrogant, and ego-centered. I had an ex who idolized a religious figure as the ideal human who he wished to be. My ex also used religion as an escape, while living a double and triple life. Even the man who my ex idolized was more human than he gave him credit for. The fact that he aspired to be perfect, sinless, and self…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 03:43 AM
6

Yepp... Mildly entitled turned red hot in a flash ... no more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 02:09 AM
93

Yes, that's how it is. At that point, once you're on the date, then he knows that you know that he lied... and he already got what he wanted, a date with you. Between fessing up and risking getting caught in another lie, it makes more sense to be honest.* *who knows, maybe he's 5'9
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 02:26 AM
17

Thank you! It really helps to understand these elements (or dynamics) of a relationship that aren't within my control. In another FDS post, someone said something to the extent of when men hate their fathers, they hate a part of themselves. I'm still processing this insight too. Great stuff!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 01:07 AM
6

Needed to hear this. Thank YOU!!!😘💖🌈🕊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:37 AM
9

Oh, I've def already received a great share of OLD copypasta
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:35 AM
30

Doubt any were legit girlfriends. He means ghostfriends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 02:30 AM
63

THIS IS Domestic Violence. He is threatening and harassing you. Next time you may need to call the police. Calling the police is often not a natural thing for most women because we're conditioned to defend ourselves with words. I've called 911 before at the urge of a domestic violence advocate. I felt so odd. The man didn't live with me, but he did stalk me. That paper trail saved my life. There is a reason why this man chose to rent out a relatively inexpensive room in a house with a young woma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 12:43 PM
2

😘🙏🏼❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 05:40 AM
2

Thank you! Wow. That really sucks. I know that life isn't fair, but it's infuriating that we have to pay so much attention to people, those we know and those we don't. I'm in awe of you for being so perceptive. It's good to know that seeing through people's facades is a learnable skill. Do you have any resources (e.g., books, websites, YouTube channels) that you recommend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 05:24 AM
6

I think that we're talking about different interpretations of psychopathy. Criminal psychopaths, as mentioned in this article by a criminologist, do not have a tell obvious to the average person (think Ted Bundy or BTK). If not, maybe you have a special talent? Because if you're able to perceive what even criminologists and psychologists (plenty of non-Psychology Today sources) cannot, and warn the public about, then I'm guessing that you have a unique, immensely valuable, and very blessed skill…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 04:46 AM
2

Dumpster fire! Glad that you contained it by shutting the lid and tossing it off a cliff into the ocean.* *Don't try this at home, because it's really not good for the ocean and our dear aquatic creatures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 04:17 AM
18

Psychopaths can lie and mimic empathy and you may never know how psycho they are. "Psychopaths are extremely manipulative and can easily gain people’s trust. They learn to mimic emotions, despite their inability to actually feel them and will appear normal to unsuspecting people. Psychopaths are often well educated and hold steady jobs. Some are so good at manipulation and mimicry that they have families and other long-term relationships without those around them ever suspecting their true natur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 04:10 AM
43

Guys are so focused on sex that I can't imagine a guy not saying either yes or yes but if I want then he'll pay for my abortion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 04:03 AM
19

Eww!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 03:57 AM
6

No cure for any type of addiction FOR MEN:* 12-step program, choosing to be accountable, accepting that one is powerless... a 12-step program can help. The 12-step program can also prevent men from cross-addictions, so they don't replace p*rn with a different distructive behavioral and/or substance addiction. Getting p*rn users to want to stop without real life damaging consequences to their own actions, there is little motivation for men to change. Most men won't be losing their jobs, their mar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 03:52 AM
28

Even if he stopped, he's going to expect you to be his p*rn star. His brain networks, sexual expectations, boundaries, and attractions have already been shaped by watching and getting off to porn. You already know that degrading women turns him on. Are you interested in being the subject of his lust? Or do you want a relationship founded on the many levels and channels of intimacy and respect? I'm amongst the perspective that a man cannot value and cherish a woman when he's already constructed a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 03:43 AM
32

Yay, found it!!! Do partnership dissolutions and living alone affect systemic chronic inflammation? A cohort study of Danish adults Free PDF: https://jech.bmj.com/content/jech/early/2022/01/04/jech-2021-217422.full.pdf Citation: Davidsen K, Carstensen S, Kriegbaum M, et alDo partnership dissolutions and living alone affect systemic chronic inflammation? A cohort study of Danish adults. Epidemiol Community Health Published Online First: 10 January 2022. doi: 10.1136/jech-2021-217422 Supplementary…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 03:18 AM
109

Yes, like making a loud mess in the kitchen, distracting the children who are hungry and asking for a snack and he reminds them to "Go ask mommy," as he slips back into the home office
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 02:28 AM
10

Lol!!! Omg!! I always wonder if I'm the only one who does this when I'm getting my teeth cleaned. So glad that I'm not alone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 04:18 AM
3

Add: a man who choose to hide a part of his life from you (ongoing therapy) for a YEAR…is not the amazing guy you think he is. Also, amazing men don’t trash talk their spouse to all and sundry. 100% OP! You're allowed to admit and see him for the selfish, disrespectful, and dishonest person that he is. Just because he's been "good" to you and your children doesn't mean that he's a good husband. Hiding the fact that he's being going to therapy is a major problem, imho. He should be able to disclo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 03:24 AM
11

Love the visual!! lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/22 02:53 AM
4

I had a death in the family, and other extenuating circumstances. I stepped away from all my OLD chats. If he can't give someone the benefit of the doubt, then that's his problem. He went from "Hi" to "What are you doing this weekend?" I didn't want to delete him after that first question. I wasn't expecting to be MIA. When I returned after two weeks, I sent him a friendly greeting and smiley face. That's when he replied and then added the nasty question about the delayed response. If he can't e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 09:51 PM
74

She was genuine though. She was 100% transparent with her intentions. He has no idea what it means to be authentic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 10:33 AM
48

Right, they basically range from fussy toddler to belligerent road rager with a weapon. Lucikly, these "nice guys" on steroids are often too impulsive to hold back their contempt and sense of entitlement before we have to meet them in-person. I bet that I have enough screenshots of the many flavors of Double Texting Guy to win a bingo game. Here's a few flavors: Angry attorney who owns his own firm, and is a "laid back guy," but wants to know if "that's how you always text!?" because you should …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 09:59 AM
10

Was he on drugs? How can any man act like this without being on some type of substance? It's so scary to think of how many women he's done that to. Maybe he gets his other dates super drunk, and he wasn't expecting that you wouldn't be foolish? The sad thing that I've learned this year is that men say and do such incomprehensible self-sabotaging things when using their best thinking! They can't even blame it on being drunk or high. Nope. Just pure logic. Glad that you made it out alive to share …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 04:11 AM
5

Yes, the wedding planning (including family involvement, when applicable), prenup agreements, deciding where to live, and other major decisions that couples make during a couple's engagement period is also a great vetting opportunity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 04:07 AM
11

Agreed. She has her own Higher Power guiding her. You can only speak your peace. Hopefully a roadblock will come her way, preventing this love affair from manifesting further. Remind yourself that you're not responsible for your friend. Sometimes, if you give someone space to figure it out on one's own, then it does work out as you hoped. Of course, it may not. Still, thankfully U.S. immigration likes to smell out funky rats. Maybe someone will indirectly (or directly) say something to her that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 03:51 AM
24

Imho, if we're talking about a man here in the U.S. on a temporary Visa: If doesn't have a solid plan in place for staying in the U.S., then he surely has one plan in place, finding someone to marry him. There's no way that you can fall in love under those conditions. Marrying an American woman is the dream for so many men living in foreign countries. If he doesn't marry your friend, he'll find someone else to fall in love with him. Maybe he already has a backup. Maybe your friend is the backup.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/22 03:43 AM
110

This is really scary. Having vulnerable women show up the city hall, where the media will likely take their photographs too? This "protest" for sex workers rights, reads like an invite to some fetish party, "Any Attire- Pasties Friendly." I have limited knowledge of what's going on in Austin, but I'm wondering if this is related to the city's homeless population and these hotel and motel initiatives. Motel: https://www.austintexas.gov/page/motel-conversion-frequently-asked-questions Hotel: Austi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 05:13 PM
46

I think that couples who decide that the husband/partner will be the first SAHD in his generation must realize that the man will likely go into the role assuming that he knows what to do. Without a healthy and tangible SAHD role model, how does the man know what it means to be a present, nurturing, attentive, caring, and healthy SAHD? Women generally step into the role of being a SAHP with a greater awareness of the comprehensive nature of the position. Isn't overconfidence (and attention seekin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 05:12 PM
18

Agreed!!! This guy prob already saw her photos (thanks to her ex boyfriend who is still sabotaging her life and relationships with others) and just had to share about it with someone. By asking so nonchalantly, it's so easy to assume that he's just curious and it's really nothing to go peek at her photos. In reality, by "looking it up," he likely means BUYING the issue of the magazine or product where her pictorial is located. (Which he already did). So creepy! I cant imagine her ever being safe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 04:47 PM
67

Yepp, somehow I was the one responsible for changing the air filter in the A/C unit at my ex's place (before I even lived with him). When we broke up, guess what happened? Of course he didn't change the air filter. I even made sure that he still had a new one in his storage closet. I reminded him to change them, but of course doing so slipped his mind. So, after his air filter clogged up after I forget how many months later, his A/C froze, stopped working, and then the ice melted and flooded his…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 04:06 AM
280

Sorry, but we're literally the opposite of incels. We get too many propositions. Unlike incels, we don't see having sex with men as our right. We're not needy. We want genuine, healthy, authentic connections and committed relationships. We're loving, generous, and thoughtful lovers. We value ourselves. We act with humility. And we choose to grow and self-reflect, not stagnate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/22 03:53 AM
36

Remember to lock your car doors at night too. Women have found Apple AirTags in their vehicles
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 03:14 AM
4

Right! I bookmarked it in my "Relationships" folder. It's a resource! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 03:10 AM
11

"If we had gotten married when I wanted to in 2016 then I wouldn't have ..." Well, I can't prove that he wouldn't have, but I surely can say that marrying him would have been a disaster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 02:32 AM
8

Happy Birthday Bekinditsfree 🥳🥳🥳🥳❣❣❣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 08:36 PM
33

We can't forget that because their children have their own bedrooms, his wife has her open kitchen with an island plus the guest bedroom for when her MIL/FIL sleepover, it's only fair for his wife to reciprocate by demanding that he have his own man cave where he can hang out and take a "break" from a long hard day. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 03:01 AM
44

Reciprocity doesn't mean a transactional relationship where two people mirror each other's contributions. Any man that approaches a relationship from that "I did this, now you must do that" is not worth trying to educate (unless it's your job to do so, which it 99.999999% likely isn't). Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 11:14 PM
41

Omg, are you safe? ❤❤❤ So glad that you dropped that baggage on the road to a better path!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 10:53 PM
5

...Because they're having "safe sex" ... and he doesn't need to worry about her dropping him when she meets and gets treated better I really don't understand how guys manage to pull this off as being an option, but clearly it works for manipulative older men who prey on young women (someone offered this "sexually exclusive" but not in a committed relationship option to me. Nope.).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 12:20 PM
2

If you haven't already read it, Lundy Bancroft's, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, is also an excellent resource. https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf Her book is often cited here. Whenever I read it, I remember what's real, and what abuse looks like. Some of mens' abusive actions are initially so insidious that I forget that they may be straight-up manipulative. So-called "feminists" that have no problem s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 03:06 AM
2

Yes, I know what you're talking about. I joined, thinking that it highlights top FDS posts, only to realize that it's mocking FDS? The subreddit is linked to the FDS front page. It seems like that sub is actually mocking the manosphere's whiny attempts at patronizing FDS?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 02:53 AM
11

Alas, therapy would be the topping on the cake. Without a structural change in society, I agree that therapy will likely just give men another reason to mansplain that they get it, while they continue yet another generation of gatekeeping. Therapy requires self-reflection, accepting uncomfortable feedback and criticism, humbling oneself, among other uncomfortable tasks that would burst the all to prized bubble of the common male ego. Expecting the majority of men to benefit (e.g., become more em…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:27 AM
5

The sea by me is plentiful, but most of the fish are just as decrepit. When I was on OLD, I had dozens of matches because the bios were brief AND yes, I live in a very populated metropolitan region. Additionally, I also live within 100 miles of an internationally popular tourist destination (lots of men pretending that they're here to stay and looking for a LTR). Still, when all was said and done, and I've vetted through my OLD inbox, only five of 50+ guys passed through the phone call/text roun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 04:46 AM
5

There's a possibility that mr. self-absorbed over here wants his wife to go to a therapist that he knows will be on his side, such as a friend or a referral from a family member. If this is the case, then therapy will not be beneficial or worthy of her time because the therapist will be in on the gaslighting. Even an unrelated therapist may be charmed by a narcissist spouse. Who knows, maybe they went to therapy in the past, and he didn't respect that therapist. Now, he found one who will fuel h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 02:31 AM
14

OoOoo... thanks for the info! I just searched "marriage is a scam" in FDS, and am now catching up on posts that I missed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 02:08 AM
4

I don't know about all communities, but sometimes infertility groups are quite resourceful and supportive in general. You may even be able to get a lead on a local group by contacting an infertility support group leader. They often have community connections. I do know someone personally that has had a child via a sperm donor. A close relative of mine went the sperm donor route. She's beyond happy and grateful that she didn't rely on finding a man. She had always wanted children. One of her frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 02:02 AM
58

Welp, and here we have a shining example of how "nice guys" can come in all shapes, sizes, styles, and levels of celebrity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 01:51 AM
66

*Prior to date questions: Has he been married? What does he think about marriage? How long ago and how serious was his last relationship (this is info. that men often disclose without direct prompting if you listen and let them blah blah blah)? What's his position on having children? Where do his parents live? Is he close to his father? Mother? Places lived in the past What do you want to be/do when you grow up? (relevant even for grown-ups... good for gathering intel on his interests, maturity,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 01:42 AM
8

How happy can you really be with someone after he lies to you about having children? I mean, I'm unsure if there are any acceptable lies to start off with, but if so, there is still no way that lying about having children is unacceptable. Hoping that you're sharing this thread with her, because I doubt that there is not a seed of doubt about this guy in the back of her mind. Of course, there is a reason why fellow FDS members are asking, "What else is he lying about?" We know that this guy is no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 04:32 AM
10

I've learned that I don't owe anyone my eye contact or a "Hi," and especially not at a local park or gym. There are men that literally hang out at local parks, gyms, coffee shops, and other co-ed spaces on a daily basis waiting to speak to a particular woman that caught their eye. Even normal looking guys do this! I found out the hard way that men will literally insert themselves into your field of view, do things like:* Act as if they're regulars at a local coffee shop, so that they can hit on …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 01:00 AM
1

To the women putting OP down, when a single boy grows up with his mother, who he puts on a pedestal, while holding a negative view of his father, and does not establish his own identity and does not emotionally and physically separate himself, his life, and his interests from his mother, then his future girlfriend/wife will never come first. You don't have to agree that every single son of a single mother is a non-self-differentiated mother enmeshed man. Even OP isn't saying that or putting sing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 12:17 AM
5

It's sad that it's such a relief when you hear that guy switching from "Hey baby..." to "F-you, you ain't even hot. You ugly." Because then you know you're free (at least until the next one comes around). Even his crew members (when applicable) appear to back off once that first guy gives up, because "I'm ugly" 😂 It's so ironic that no one ever gave these "nice guys" the memo that they're showing their hand the second that they claim to be "nice." Side note: Knowing when enough is enough, and th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 05:32 PM
8

That's so interesting (and disgusting). I never heard of a language exchange website. I can totally see men using it as a means to access women otherwise out of reach. When I learned about the history of waves of immigration (decades ago, in Asia, but I wonder if this is more universal?), a common theme was that the women, including middle-aged and older women (and wives) integrated and assimilated much easier and quicker into the culture and society, than their male counterparts (and husbands).…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/22 05:15 PM
16

Me too... I'm leaning toward the scenario that the ex didn't want Disney Dad in the house because she can't stand him, yet he once again coerced himself into her home (on her birthday!) because he promised their sons that they're going to do "Something special for mommy" and she doesn't want to disappoint her children. I'm picturing her wanting to eat something healthy for breakfast, and wanting to sleep in, but rather than respecting her wishes, she wakes up to them rattling in the kitchen, Dis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 03:55 PM
65

That's so smart! Looking forward to trying this wish it wasn't necessary. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 03:16 PM
4

Low risk investment, in his opinion. Guessing he wants to avoid paying for a date with a woman who might not be "worth" his money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 04:57 AM
52

Yays!!!🥳🥳🥳❣❣❣ You rock!!! 🤗✅💞🌈🐇💎💯 So happy that you got rid of the garbage spewing angry insecure nonsense. You're EXCELLENT💎💯💜🦋 Glad that you're around people who see how valuable you are, and support your professional and personal growth 😘❤❤❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 01:06 PM
1

Needed this today! Thank you <3 Today, I watched a two-part YouTube series, featuring Jon Taylor, on mother enmeshed men. Mothers may not intentionally seek unhealthy closeness with their sons, but unhealthy enmeshment can still occur when their sons are the center of their lives. The issue is that only sons of single mothers are more vulnerable to mirroring their mothers, being there to comfort them, and seeing their mother as the ideal woman. This can be problematic when faced with the reality…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 03:19 AM
1

OnLine Dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 10:02 PM
3

Thank you so much for sharing your insights! I never even thought about how men may devalue an OLD matched relationship (even subconsciously), especially since he can keep looking and hasn't put as much effort into a person as he would if he got to know and approached her in real life. Also, yes, OLD makes it easier for men to date without needing to overcome social and other insecurities, and going out of their comfort zones. The one thing that I've noticed from a good share of OLD profiles and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 12:17 PM
14

One major lesson that I've learned this year is: Do not to do for others what they can do for themselves. When a man takes on debt, it's with the understanding that one will be responsible for paying off that debt. Now that it's paid off, he is free to do whatever, and ditch his plan and responsibilities. I'm not against a man paying off a woman's debt. However, there is a significant difference between a man being financially supportive (paying off his SO's debt, so that they can build a life t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 03:21 AM
8

I just listened to Dr. Ramani's video on Flying Monkeys. I had no idea that there's a term for it, but it's the individuals who enable narcissists. For example, those that want to hear "both sides" in scenarios, for no legitimate reason. Also, flying monkeys are people who are so charmed by the narcissist, and/or in denial that someone could be so intentionally self-centered, malicious, and devoid of empathy. Some guys are so committed to "bro code" that they open the door for the narcissist to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 03:04 AM
19

When I was in my 20's, I dated a guy (same age) who thought that he was being a divine messenger by complimenting random women (even older women). Honestly, once in a blue moon, I have found myself appreciating a random compliment from a male stranger. However, at those times, the compliment didn't come across as creepy. It was more like, "oh, I like your [footwear, which is very practical for this weather that we're having]." I don't think that the man would have openly complimented a man's foo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 03:25 AM
25

Omg, it's ridiculous. I deleted my profile from one OLD app because it was a percentage match type of platform, where literally every man could see my profile and message me. I spent most of my time blocking members. They'd ignore my max age requirements because we otherwise had 70% in common or whatever (as everyone does). I really don't understand why a 64 year old chiropractor would think that I'd want to date someone his age who's hitting on women in their 30s. Then again, he doesn't care. T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 03:18 AM
2

That's because there's a population of men who choose to get into coaching children for the very reason of preying on girls. Pedophiles often take interest in girls with absent fathers because they're more vulnerable, and moms may be looking for a father figure for their daughters. https://safe4athletes.org/grooming/ http://www.espn.com/gen/s/2001/1011/1262585.html
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 02:44 AM
3

Thank you so much!!! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 02:27 AM
12

Helps to hear, for sure. 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 02:00 AM
17

Sometimes we need to be accountable to someone... and you honestly have no ulterior motive other than wanting the best for us. Thanks, I'll keep this in mind :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/21 10:53 PM
22

Thank you!!!🌞❣❣❣ Your words really resonate with me. My mom helped me break up and stay broken up (for good) by telling me to picture myself holding my own hand through the hard feelings. Now, I'm in a somewhat different situation, but holding my hand again through it. It feels like the woman that I want to be tomorrow is standing beside me, leading me through a better horizon. 💎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/21 10:50 PM
5

Golden!!! Can't believe I haven't heard it before. Thanks!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 06:04 AM
43

After his inability to treat his addiction, and admit that he wasn't in control, I got fed up. I went to a wedding the night before breaking up with him. The bride and groom were elated! This is how it's supposed to be. It's not too much to ask to be excited and happy in a relationship. I dreaded the idea of ever marrying him. When I shared my feelings, he jumped straight to, "Well, do you want to break up with me or should I do it?" I said, "I'll do it. I'm done." And I was done. I mourned for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 02:30 AM
6

Totally doubt that this was a real question. I'm betting that this guy just wanted an excuse to argue what he thinks is a genius point, "That if she doesn't compensate for her privilege with friends (not partners, even), then she can't expect a man to do the same for her." Of course, if she said, "Yes, actually, I do pay for my girlfriends who are of a minority race," then what would this love doctor tell the guy? He totally wrapped a few theories into one to make a sweeping claim that really is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:26 AM
5

"I'll take, 'How to twist words to strengthen the patriarchy and strengthen one's sense of male entitlement?' for 800, Alex."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:19 AM
3

I know!!! Crazy. They can do what they want, but they don't have the power to take OP's awards away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 03:50 AM
96

💯 this!!! Totally think that he was banking on you coming to his place, regardless of offering him a ride.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 03:36 AM
50

Awww yay!!! So happy that you didn't settle!!! Thanks for sharing!! 🤗❣❣❣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 03:31 AM
165

Mother!!! What???? Who does that!!!??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 03:30 AM
2

Do you think that he has high eyebrows? I can't tell. "They also note that given a narcissist´s focus on cultivating an attractive appearance, eyebrow grooming, from plucking, to waxing, to tattooing, enhances this goal. They note that because narcissists often aggressively pursue potential sexual partners, their “grandiose eyebrows” could signal sexual prowess." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202006/can-you-spot-narcissist-their-eyebrows Maybe his goatee style is als…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:02 AM
10

3 is a GEM 💎
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 03:23 AM
1

Reading this again, I'd bet that he was certain that Amy would agree with him, and planning on proving it to his wife by shoving Amy's response in her face. Plan backfired. But, of course, he probably already invalidated Amy for being a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 03:16 AM
2

Your words are so reassuring. Thank you. Needed to hear that as well. <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/21 02:58 AM
9

That's such an excellent point! Omg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 10:26 PM
7

She means inches.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 10:06 PM
29

Why is this post currently only 0 points? Are porn-watching lurkers downvoting this thread?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 04:19 AM
42

Women and children are also their mirror. They can't stand to face their own weaknesses. Rather than looking internally, they project their anger at themselves onto the people who can't escape them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:02 AM
18

And the fact is that he was an alcoholic before he married her. Since AGE 15!!! His Wiki page's "Health" section goes on and on about his history and family history of substance abuse. If Jennifer Garner and/or his children ever stumble upon this thread, sending them love <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 03:29 AM
7

hahaha! triggerati is my new fav word of 2021!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 04:00 AM
259

Same. Makes me so mad that his words are even published. It feeds his victim mentality. I feel for her and their kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 03:01 AM
32

I was digging this one guy after the first phone call. The more he spoke, the less attractive he became. Within a week and a half, my ick list was packed. Here are a few icks, but not all. Pizza consumption & living on junk food: Within three conversations, twice he mentioned his plans to eat pizza tonight. Additionally, he told me that he doesn't eat healthy foods at all. Ugh. The fact that an adult would order pizza, and not care about eating healthy food was such a turnoff. To top it off, thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 02:44 AM
8

The good news is that, albeit not permanent, at least men have options: -Jawline fillers - calcium hydroxylapatite or hyaluronic acid types -CoolSculpting or WarmSculpting for neck fat removal ... Why don't most men take the initiative to invest in their faces? ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 04:18 AM
6

💯 about stubble. There is no amount of length that doesn't hurt my face, leaving my face and lips bright red for days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 09:47 AM
64

I hope that he'd know without a doubt, and be against anyone supporting sex work. 💖 Someone that I dated (who had many healthy views on intimacy and equality) told me that he thought that the way he viewed sexwork was similar to his view of drug use, he doesn't want to partake in it, but it should be legalized for those who choose to do so. Then, he asked me my thoughts about it. I didn't tell him everything that was going on in my head. I shared about something relatively minor that I experienc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 11:58 PM
47

Part of his newfound religiosity was also talking down about his wife's public image - projecting his issues on to her. Here's info about his history with porn addiction: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7613369/Kanye-West-reveals-pornography-addiction.html https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/10/25/kanye-west-speaks-out-on-porn-addiction-its-not-okay/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 02:23 AM
26

I'm wondering if the gym photo is a more accurate representation of his face, and maybe he face tuned the closeup (photo on the left)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 05:26 AM
23

So many shirtless photos. Why do guys think that their pecs compensate for decades? And more kids?! Hopefully he means stepchildren
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 05:24 AM
11

Here's are two lists that you can pick and choose from, for first date questions: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a28141816/questions-to-ask-on-first-date/ https://parade.com/1211366/marynliles/first-date-questions/ The NY Times also has a list of intimacy building questions. It may be paywalled. (I forgot whether or not those questions are more oriented for established couples).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 04:12 PM
30

Congrats!!!🥳🥳🥳🌈⭐🌈⭐🕊❣❣❣ May your new home be a cherished place of sweet blessings & joy!!! ...and about your question, yea, I agree that it's important not disclose that you own a home. I don't know why anyone would honestly ask about your living arrangements, other than to maybe see if you live alone? I generally feel uncomfortable telling a guy up front if I lived alone, for safety purposes. I don't know what to say about not disclosing your career. On my OLD profile, I disclosed that informati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 03:15 PM
2

Your bf is enmeshed with his father. Sounds like he hasn't self-differentiated. He has his own place. However, mentally, it sounds like he is still under his parent's roof/control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 03:24 AM
48

We're allowed to change our minds. I doubt that coercion wasn't involved in her "agreeing" to put writing on hold. So glad that she pursued her goal, nonetheless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 02:15 AM
17

One of my professors started the semester by telling us that there are no interesting classes, just interested students. That statement stuck with me. I realized how much of a blessing it is to be interested in life. I want to be with someone who is also interested. Being interested is not something that you need to "prove" to someone that you don't know, who just popped into your OLD inbox. It's really weird when men on OLD think that they're entitled to us responding to their flirts/winks, "hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 01:55 PM
10

No ice bucket from me. Just sending you love ❣💖 Soon what's today will be worked through, and you'll reap the joy and greatness of working through and being open enough to validate where you are right now. Earlier this evening, I was crying too. Coming here really helps me remember my priorities. Xoxo 😘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 05:23 AM
10

First of all, I agree that it is not okay to use the diagnosis as a reason why abuse is okay. Abuse is a separate beast that can coexist with mental illness. However, a mental illness on its own is no excuse or reason to accommodate abusive behavior. ...Just posting here to clarify Borderline Personality Disorder is BPD. Britney, according to media, was experiencing symptoms of Bipolar Disorder (BD). So, these are two different diagnoses with different diagnostic criteria. And isn't Pete Davidso…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 07:50 PM
62

You probably were the sparkling manifestation of their teenage dreams (that they never grew out of). I bet they wanted to show off what they knew, hoping to woo you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 01:01 PM
20

Music taste is best left as a dealbreaker, not dealmaker. These guys come in all varieties, from demanding to know your favorite episode of a tv show to asking you whether you read the comic books of some superhero on your t-shirt or hat. Often, I think they really want to show off what they know, as if they're superior for knowing their niche trivia. They're just gatekeeping, at the end of the day. [Edited original comment because it had a lot of personal details.]
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 12:53 PM
3

I'm weary of men who are too clean or controlling about their homes. I'm hoping for a guy who hits close enough to the sweet spot between chill and controlling about cleanliness. My father was so focused on having a neat and organized house that he threw away my art projects, and other sentimental stuff that we had growing up. One of my exes didn't clean (hired a housekeeper), but he was so controlling and angry if he saw my stuff cluttered in his house. Vacations were so not fun because he'd be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 03:17 AM
150

Feel you ❣❣❣ I'm sorry that your mom isn't helping. You're right about what you said. I'm so tempted to say that you should tell your mom to create a fake OLD account and she'll see what you mean. However, that would likely backfire. This isn't about logic. Sometimes when you reply with reasons why you are making this decision or are not interested in XYZ, people who don't listen to your boundaries will give you their own reasons to convince you otherwise. Sucks. When my dad says insensitive and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 04:36 AM
16

That's what I do. Court records. Property records. I also search neighboring counties, and counties from past addresses. I find out last names from OLD by Googling "__his name_ +his profession +city__" If he has a profession license, I look up whether he has complaints. Another goody is Googling his Name + "wedding" or "marriage" or "wife". I found out one guy was supposed to get married a couple months before we matched. His wife was also a doctor. I just got this feeling that she had an excell…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 03:50 AM
4

Why is this so true? So sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 03:41 AM
10

Also men who went to or are in therapy and said that it's helping (when it's clearly not). Because... surprise they put on a show for the therapist. Without being totally open and honest (no lies by omission) with their therapists, it's not therapy. (Learned that lesson myself).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 03:40 AM
9

hahahaha!!! That's exactly what I was thinking! So much laughing right now (at the sadness!). really. totally all the characteristics of one person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 03:21 AM
8

Yes!!! The friend setup was so horrible for me (in retrospect), because my friends kept pushing that he was such a nice guy, the nicest/sweetest. Spoiler: He was abusive and while I'm grateful for the good times, I'm so much better off trusting my gut and vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 03:01 AM
14

💖🕊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 01:41 PM
2

Awww thanks❣❣❣😘😘😘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 12:53 PM
3

Article free; no paywall via: https://usanewslab.com/lifestyle/her-persistence-paid-off-the-new-york-times/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 03:01 AM
18

I learned how to do my makeup from Kevin Aucoin's makeup books. He did a great job of showing the steps that go into face contouring and various looks. For me, quiet study of the visuals, and spending hours in the bathroom experimenting, helped me learn what works for my face and best enhances my facial features.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 01:48 AM
37

Hey OP 🌷 Can you imagine how it may feel if this "friend" wasn't in your life? To me, she sounds like a downer, and toxic. When I read point #1, I thought that maybe there's room for the benefit of the doubt. However, #2 was enough to realize that yea, you're asking for help because that "friend" really is drawing these comparisons to put you down. At the very least, she's doing it to make herself feel better, which has the same result nevertheless. If you have something to gain (and/or don't fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 01:38 PM
41

💖❣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 01:05 PM
8

Love this ❣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 07:08 AM
43

"Thanks for your offer, but I respectfully decline. Enjoy walking your dog though!" [Now silence (don't need to hear his response) while you turn around, and walk away. Distance..] I'm a recovering people pleaser, and feel cautious about just straight up saying "No," especially because I don't want to be in situations where a guy ends up lashing with anger. It's not right if a guy does, but because it may happen anyway, sometimes I am too nice about saying No because I rather feel/be safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 07:01 AM
101

The hypothesis is that he is married because he refuses to posts photos because of the "nature of [his] work." Aka, a cheater and doesn't want to be found out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 12:36 PM
166

Omg!!! So funny and true. The percentage of men who tell you that they feel a "connection" with you is indeed absurd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 12:23 AM
5

No, they don't have the right to prey on women or anyone else. I had an man spit on me while crossing the street Wasn't a major trauma, but it was a turning point where I realized that I'm safer by ignoring/not responding to any attempts to engage If I'm not comfortable giving a random guy on the street my attention, why does it make sense to give it to any other random guy? Shelters have rules and sometimes the people who don't go to/stay in shelters for help integrating back into society are o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/21 12:06 PM
29

Genius!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 05:44 AM
1

I wonder if his interpretation of "virgin" is that he's never had either, 1) Sober sex, and/or 2) "Sex" that he didn't pay for [esp given that he's traveled a lot] And has no idea what to do because he's never had to initiate and/or been physically/sexually intimate with anyone. I just find it ridiculously hard to believe that he's not lying by omission somehow, by choosing to have some rationalized and warped sense of the definition of "virginity."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 09:29 AM
36

I think that the small 🍆 guy was her LVM ex, and she's concerned that the new guy is going to be another disappointment/waste-of-time in the bedroom. It sounds like she's asking if sex with the new guy (who checks all of the other FDS boxes) has potential to get better. ...wondering if that's correct OP?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 04:13 AM
17

Red flag #4 makes me so mad. What a jerk. Glad that you tossed him back into the abyss where he belongs. Btw, I bet your cross stitch is badass! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:03 AM
65

My version of dressing up for a date is makeup, casual jewelry that I really like, and dressy jeans. I like dressing up nicer than usual, especially with makeup, when I first meet a guy (if I have a choice) because I feel like I'm symbolically also applying my boundary and warrior paint. Granted, I really like getting dressed up sometimes, but that's because I don't dress up to go to work or anything. Thus, I'm pleased to get the opportunity to break out of daily casual wear. Dates are my only t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:00 AM
44

Such validation! Thank you for putting this into words. It's frustrating explaining to a guy why being in my home is different than sleeping over, and different than being in his house. When he's over at my house, I know that I have boundaries and will be sleeping in the comfort of my bed. When I'm at his house, I have the peace of mind that I can always leave. When someone is in my home, and planning to sleep over (too soon for my comfort and safety level), I feel trapped and unsafe. Technicall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 12:30 AM
6

In my experience, remembering that those experiences were sexual assault, coercion, and abuse helped me change my internal narrative (ruminating thoughts) over time 😘 Sending you love 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 12:12 AM
12

Realizing that those experiences were due to being sexual assaulted, abused, and/or coerced (had a few unfortunately, which isn't uncommon) helped me cross the bridge from, "Why did I do that? I shouldn't have done that" to "I'm okay. I was vulnerable. He shouldn't have done that. How dare he do that?!" Telling my psychologist helped me relieve my guilty feelings, because not every friend, family member, let alone confidant is able to offer a compassionate, validating, and understanding response…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 04:33 PM
65

In Lundy Bancroft's, "Why does he do that?" She explains that when a man tells you that you've changed and xyz, it's because their perception of you has changed. By refusing and resisting being controlled by them, their fantasy isn't lining up with what they're experiencing. Made me realize why my ex was telling me how I've changed and I'm in a bad mood (seriously wasn't, but he would start by projecting, which I then foolishly defended myself). His perception of me changed whenever my actions s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 05:15 AM
1

What!! Barefoot! OMG. That's def one of the top worst impressions (attire-wise) that I've ever heard of. Actually, thus far the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 02:13 AM
21

I totally get why OLD is discouraged. I think that finding quality prospects depends on one's geographical radius and general metropolitan region, preferred age group, the dating app, and etc. Even then, the reality is that there are a plethora of LVM who love putting no effort into creating these profiles. My goal is to meet people by being active in activities and in-person social activities and clubs. If I meet a guy that way, then there is no pressure to jump into a relationship. Don't be di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 07:45 PM
12

Hilarious and true! I hate the farting. My ex would feel all proud of himself that he could "be himself" around me. Got worse over the years Ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 03:02 AM
2

OMG!!! It's the painful scratching that gets to me the most! Making out with any stubble leaves me feeling like I've been rubbing sandpaper on my cheeks. I've def noticed that guys use beards to accentuate their facial features, and appear more mature. I'll be paying attention!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:19 AM
1

I miss being able to not wear a bra! My nipples are prominent, so I end up feeling really self-conscious if they're visible through my shirts. Generally, I wear bralettes with padding. A decade ago, I was okay with not caring about my nipples showing. Now that I'm older, I rather cover than than not. When I was a kid, I remember my mom taking off her bra shortly after she returned home. Today, I do the same. Such relief!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:16 AM
16

Such truth. A man will say that he wants an independent woman, and yet have expectations that don't line up to what it means to be with an independent woman. She doesn't need you. I ended my last relationship because he wanted a career-woman who was his "equal." He didn't know that it'll take me a bit longer to be in a solid career. My therapist told me that he is likely insecure in being the "provider," and having a woman depend on him. The reality is that being an equal isn't 50/50. A guy comi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:06 AM
14

Chiming in on the appreciation and gratitude for the Mods!! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 12:57 AM
33

My ex was a "recovering addict." I knew that he used to do drugs, but up until then, I had only known him to have issues with alcohol. Later, during a "break" when I thought that still meant that we were sexually exclusive, my ex relapsed on drugs and sex (ordering women online to his hotel). He got himself in trouble when he turned away one of the women for not being hot enough. The asshole trafficking her threatened my also asshole ex, and that led me down a path of realizing how much BS I put…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 07:21 PM
389

Mine said, "That's what all addicts say." Totally changed my perspective. Woke me up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 01:25 AM
11

Such truth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 03:14 AM
43

YES! Practice before you end up in such a situation. Self-defense class was a major help. Hoping that I never have to use those muscle memories, but glad that I can imagine some of those common danger scenarios and safety solutions/moves in my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 12:30 AM
46

I'm telling myself this today because I was chatting with an OLD match who told me that he has a dark sense of humor. Dark sense of humor is basically code for whatever darkness he's holding on to in life. I'm having trouble blocking and deleting because maybe I should be more open-minded. But seriously, why? Even if he's not the worst, why do I have to settle for "relatively safe until proven otherwise"? Thanks for the reminder!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 12:28 AM
24

First of all, feel your feelings. It's okay to feel the way that you do. Betrayal is a major trauma. You have a right to feeling how you feel right now. Feelings change. Right now, it sounds like you want to change your thoughts to change your feelings. What helped me when I found out all of the lies and betrayals was talking to my therapist, going to support group meetings (because he was an addict, and OMG, I learned how F-in lucky I was to find out and break up, rather than get married), and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 12:05 AM
91

Eww... What else would "in sickness and health" mean? F that! Guys who drain their wives and then bounce like that love to play the victim
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 09:48 PM
116

Tells you that "we have a connection" before you get a chance to know him, even met him (just phone call), or too early on to truly make such an assumption Don't let him tell you how you feel Assuming that just because you are still considering him means that you have deep feelings for him is a fantasy, not your reality
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 12:24 AM
5

Yay!!!! Thank YOU 😘🤗❣❣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:09 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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