| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | Here's a little something for the Pickmeishas giving us a lurk.This could have been written by me - I want to add to this because I believe it needs to be emphasized that your experience is by no means a rare exception. I also struggled with the expectations of feminity and I knew from a very young age that I could never adhere to them. I was also told plenty of times (once by my ex-partner) that it will be impossible for me to find the partner I want because of this unwillingness to perform feminity, so I started to not give a fuck. They were all wrong. Wa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/20 12:45 PM |
| 3 | Finland Plans to Give All New Parents the Same Leave - thoughts?I disagree. I am not sure how Finland is handeling it currently, but in my country there are two different kinds of 'leaves': One is mandatory (2-3months), related to birth, therefore only given to the mother and paid for by the health insurance. The other one is parental leave, can be claimed by either parent or both and is paid with tax funds (14 months in total). Currently, this leads to mostly women pausing their careers for the long parental leave because of gender roles and also because th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 09:27 PM |
| 1 | I learned this the hard way and wasted time trying to get him to chase me...I thought he was just playing hard to get. If they don’t put in effort from the beginning then just drop them. Do not waste your precious time!Same. I also really dislike texting and only do it if necessary. Its an inefficient and low value way to communicate. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 08:37 PM |
| 3 | Why are men so unattractive (cough cough UGLY) in comparison to women on dating appsAs someone who had her fair share of hedonism and still gets mistaken for much younger: I feel like you can get away with a lot in that department if you eat healthy, exercise and use sunscreen. But of course even that is too much effort for many men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/20 07:52 PM |
| 2 | “Thank you for your perspective, it’s actually quite comforting.” I have no wordsI could look at his devices, but since I have zero reason to do it, I don't. What's the gain? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 04:24 PM |
| 5 | I wonder why he didn’t get married 🤷♀️🙄🙄Or does he mean biological women who do not adhere to his standards of femininity? I have so many questions... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 03:53 PM |
| 6 | I wonder why he didn’t get married 🤷♀️🙄🙄Haha, that was my first thought as well. I was doubting my reading comprehension there for a second. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/20 03:51 PM |
| 9 | Reminder that if you find yourself psychoanalyzing a man, he's manipulating you.The craftiest of men, who do not make the beginner's mistake of underestimating the women's intelligence, manage to manipulate without lying. Do not get into relationships with any kind of power imbalance, especially economically. Watch out for any signs of disrespect for at least 2-3 years before you create a power imbalance or dependency that is inevetible, like getting pregnant. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/20 11:48 AM |
| 4 | Pickmeisha (22F) dates man twice her age (43M), ruins her life with 2 pregnancies from him, is a secret, receives a “Shut up ring”, and is being ignored... she’s second place to his ex wife, who’s controlling her relationship. This is a HOT MESS. And daily reminder to take zero shit from men!!!The vast majority of abusive men do not have a personality disorder though. I am a bit critical about the amount of "diagnoses" that often appear in the comments here, because it pathologizes (and excuses) a behavior that mostly has a different origin. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/20 10:21 PM |
| 27 | Keeping our standards high.Exactly. This can't be stressed enough. I know a marriage in my personal circle where the man behaved "perfectly" for an entire year of dating/exclusive relationship according to her. Turns out he is an extremely controlling, entilteled POS who will never treat her as his equal. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/20 08:58 AM |
| 5 | Empirical proof why dick pics are worthlessI laughed way to hard at this! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/20 06:27 PM |
| 2 | "Generous men are a non-negotiable"?On the other hand, a man spending a lot of money during the dating phase is not automatically high value. Some use this to show off, so their generosity is actually about him, not you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/20 10:20 AM |
| 14 | Great first date with possible HVM...what's next?So, how do I not mess this up? I really think he could have potential. By not freaking out over a guy you literally had one date with, just because he managed to exhibit gentleman behavior for one evening. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 01:24 PM |
| 3 | Watching porn is NOT normal. Dont allow a man to subject you like that.I agree that nearly all porn use is problematic, just by the nature of the 99% of the low-effort material that is out there. I have seen egalitarian porn, directed by women, but you have to put a lot of effort (and some bucks) to find it. The case is also crystal-clear if the male partner is porn-sick and it heavily affects a couple's romantic life. But how do you go about occasional porn usage of your male partner, assuming it has no impact on you and your lives? None of my partners from the pa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 01:02 PM |
| 5 | Watching porn is NOT normal. Dont allow a man to subject you like that.Maybe it is the other way around, he does not like porn because he is empathic enough to see it for what it is. Also, there seem to be men who are resistent to the bad effects of porn. Case in point, my partner, who is also extremely sweet and affectionate and a very caring lover that cannot get enough of me sexually despite being together for many years. While I am not sure if he still watches anything of the sort occasionally (he knows I disapprove and our daily lives leave no room for that an… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 12:45 PM |
| 9 | Watching porn is NOT normal. Dont allow a man to subject you like that.Good point. When I first saw porn like 18 years ago from a VHS it was of course pathetic, but comparetively harmless stuff. I couldn't care less if anyone was watching it. 10 years ago, I happened to have a discussion about porn with my then-BF after reading an article about how degrading internet porn had become and he was like "Nah, it's fine, I visit some of those sites occasionally and this article exaggerates". I think he overestimated my cool-girl-qualities a little, because after visiting… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 12:19 PM |
| 7 | Enough saidTbf, the first red flag was raised when he led the conversation to "I am an investment banker at Wells Fargo". Investment banker must be in the Top 3 of LVM jobs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/20 08:03 AM |
| 18 | Coffee datesI do fear that younger girls on this sub mistake HVM for meaning rich. I’d much rather a younger girl do coffee dates with a very sweet, very well meaning genuine age appropriate dude than some rich asshole who knows he can impress an 18 year old by dropping $50 at Cheesecake Factory Thank you for clarifying this. I am not a younger girl but I did get this impression here quite a few times, especially when the "He has to pay for dinner on the first date or gtfo" rule is emphazised. The important… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 03:00 PM |
| 7 | Woman gets plastic surgery after boyfriend’s constant negging. He then tells her he thought he’d fall in love if she looked prettier but he hasn’t.Oh yes. When I was in high-school, the opposite was the beauty standard for women: Skinny boardering to anorexia-skinny. At least doing squats is healthier than starving yourself. But in any case, having seen both trends, I cannot take any any body trend other than aiming to be your best fit self seriously anymore. What a pathetic waste of energy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 10:16 AM |
| 9 | Want this to be me one dayI still have the mentality that a man should make the same if not more than his spouse, especially when women still end up carrying the brunt of the burden of having children and taking care of the home. Not OP, but since I have a similar situation: You phrase that if it is a given that a women is "taking care of the home". I earn more than my partner (no kids yet), and of course he does at least as much as I do around the house. This is not up for discussion and I would not put up with a partne… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 08:41 AM |
| 2 | Want this to be me one daySo for me, being a doctor actually means choosing men who are not "higher up on the ladder", because those men tend to be pieces of shit :) Ha, good on you, this has been my approach as well. I earn quite a bit more than my partner, I am also a few years older. In my opinion, this setting has only advantages: These men are not afraid of strong, independent women, so it serves as an excellent filter for LVM. It also ensures that he brings a lot more to the table than his paycheck, because it is n… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 08:28 AM |
| 10 | Let’s talk about forever-fiancé apologistsIn that case the clock could reasonably start after graduation. This! I was reading through this thread and wondering why I cannot agree with such a constraining rule. Part of it maybe cultural, in the US and a lot of catholic countries people seem to marry way earlier than in nothern/western Europe. I have a lot of married friends and NONE of them married before being in a committed relationship for at least 3-4 years. Exactly because of the reasons that you stated: Marriage should be between t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/20 08:08 AM |
| 6 | If men don’t like bitches then why do they only go for women who aren’t super into them? Why do they lose interest when a woman expresses love?I did move back, I never intended to move permanently. He did not come with me because he still attended college (he is a few years younger than me) and college education is free in our home country, as opposed to the country I moved to. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/20 07:20 AM |
| 4 | Simultaneously enraging and sad afBecause it's men, why would the majority of gay men be any different than the majority of straight men? In addition, I have the impression that a lot of gay men suffer from internalized homophobia from their closeted time during adolescence. It makes many of them unconciously dispise themselves and other gay men, especially the more feminine-presenting ones. See all the obsession in the scene with "straight-acting" guys while at the same time enforcing even more rigid beauty/youthfulness standar… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/20 10:51 AM |
| 1 | Want to share my own and hear other women's experiences with being in longterm relationships with HVMAll the "bad qualities" I have according to other men are "good qualities" to him. He likes, that I am tall, educated and opinionated. (...) We are going strong for 7 years now. If I ever lose him, nobody would be able to replace him. I wouldn't even bother to date. He is one of a kind and I was blessed that he came into my life. This could be my post, all of this including the gaming part. I know it is frowned upon here as a hobby for good reasons, but as long as it is not obsessive I think it … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/20 10:18 AM |
| 16 | Do you have any stories of LVM that crashed and burned later in life?Ha, maybe "crushing and burning" is a bit exaggerated, but the one guy who I dated for six months in my mid-twenties went from cute to ugly in just a few years. I am also fairly certain that he, now around 30, neither has a decent job nor has any of his other shit together. But man did I have a crush on him back then. He was exactly my type and a god in bed - the combination is super rare and my hormones soon got the better of me. He dumped and ghosted me as soon as I could not hide my feelings … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/20 08:58 AM |
| 25 | If men don’t like bitches then why do they only go for women who aren’t super into them? Why do they lose interest when a woman expresses love?I have a similar experience. It really used to bug me because I am a pro-active person, taking initiative is my nature and like you, purposely acting like a high-maintenance bitch is not my thing. I was lucky because I met the right guy when I REALLY was not looking for a relationship at all. When we met, I was about to accept a new job and to move to across the atlantic for several years. He stuck with me over four years 8000 km long-distance relationship. It was not that I demanded that kind o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/20 08:11 AM |
| 2 | Daily reminder to NEVER TELL MEN ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL HISTORY. They can and will hold it over your head, even if they seem fine with it at first. Don’t fall into this all too common trap.I agree. I still do not regret my experiences, because I really had to find these facts out myself. Now I can be happily committed :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/20 07:15 AM |
| 5 | Daily reminder to NEVER TELL MEN ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL HISTORY. They can and will hold it over your head, even if they seem fine with it at first. Don’t fall into this all too common trap.I agree. My partner knew from the beginning because I was not looking for a serious relationship at that time and did not give a fuck. And even though he can't relate (it turned out I was only his second partner and he is not into casual sex) he does not care at all. He has not even mentioned it for many years. I'd say HVM don't care. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/20 07:09 AM |
| 2 | Man realizing what the majority of women go through everydayIt totally makes sense that the greater strength and "explosiveness"/high-speed strength of male bodies comes at the cost of less endurance. Just like a ferrari burns more fuel even at moderate speed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/20 05:46 AM |
| 1 | Man realizing what the majority of women go through everydayYou probably could, the difference is that having an income is essential to survival (especially in countries with no welfare), having a partner is not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/20 05:08 AM |
| 5 | On men willing to work harder for what they can’t have or is not on offer to them. Men will attempt to turn any woman into a sex worker given the right circumstances. But won’t go to an actual sex worker.Fuck that myth about erections. It would be easy to debunk it: Do male clients regularly get erections when the massage therapist is a man? I guess not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/20 06:22 PM |
| 1 | I find it really disappointing that this sub is so hated on RedditSource on the skin problems? Anecdotically, I know way more men with acne than women. Androgens and their consequences are a male problem. I agree with your other points, even though I think a lot of women could benefit from being more critical towards beauty standards, a lot of that stuff is far from necessary and a lot of skin problems result from putting 3 layers of stuff on it daily. That shit is not healthy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/20 06:25 PM |
| 2 | I find it really disappointing that this sub is so hated on RedditSorry for hijacking your comment, but I have to ask because I am reading this argument over and over on this sub: Who on earth "needs" to spends thousands of dollars on cosmetics just to be "presentable"? Sorry, but this is some BS propagated by the beauty industry and rediculous patriarchal standards. Eating healthy, going to the gym, hygiene and plugging/shaving some hair - sure. But don't tell me you need that luxury skin care set to be allowed to exist as a woman in this world. That mindset … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/20 06:11 PM |
| 3 | I finally got a restraining orderUnfortunately OP is right about being extremely cautious. A restraining order is no guarantee for safety. Men who are willing to go to the extreme don't care about breaking an order in the process. OP, Please consider further actions like moving out of his reach, trust your instincts. You know best for your safety. All the best for you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/20 05:19 PM |
| 8 | Questions about age. Ideal timeline to find HVM?Same. Met my partner when he was in his low-20ies and me high-20ies, 7 years ago. Granted, I did not follow some of the FDS rules because he was poor and still in education while I already had a well-paying job. So of course I paid. But he is otherwise extremely commited, invested, now also financially independent and just an awesome life partner to this day. Its funny because I would agree with the statement that most 20-25 year old men are very immature and that it gets better around 30, but t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 02:46 PM |
| 10 | Quite literally.Because mediocre men love endorsing other mediocre men. They are afraid of HVM because despite claiming otherwise, they actually hate honest competition. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 12:24 PM |
| 15 | Men who justify their double standards with "finding sex is easy for women, but requires tons of work from men, so women with a high body count are bad but men admirable":They can't handle that fact and instead of accepting it and raising above competing men by being a high value mate, they just try to shame women for following the laws of nature (and actually doing our species a favor by weeding out bad genes). Yeah, they know. But this biological truth is at odds with what society taught them: that each of them is entiteled to have (at least) one woman. This corner stone of patriarchy is really damaging to our species if you think about it, because is eliminate… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/20 11:15 AM |
| 30 | "There's someone for everyone" is a myth created by men so they can all get laid.My mom raised me and my sisters on the mindset that any man who gets our company can call himself damn lucky. It certainly also helped to have a dad who took parenting seriously and was emotionally available to us at all ages, so I wasn't starving for male attention. Both of them always emphasized that education, financial independency and personal development comes first, marriage and kids later on (if at all). I think this protected me from 99% of the shit that I see plenty of women deal with … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/01/20 03:19 PM |
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