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KoalitativeResearch Archive

View 0 posts and 21 comments by KoalitativeResearch on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

That hasn’t been my experience. Someone else put it like this: if you take away the misogyny and homophobia, marriedredpill is essentially about getting over codependent behaviors. Stop looking to your partner for validation and start being an independent person that isn’t needy and doesn’t get upset when you partner doesn’t do exactly why you want. Once you get there, you are more attractive to everyone. And once you internalize it, it isn’t a performance but a more solid sense of self. Which i…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/19 04:57 AM
0

Check out r/marriedredpill. A different world from redpill. All about taking personal responsibility for the state of the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/19 01:49 AM
3

I think this is why NMMNG proposes taking a break from sex. Taking a break eliminates the opportunity for validation-driven sex, and forces you to confront whether you are seeking sex out of neediness. I don’t think that break is necessary for everyone, but it might be helpful for you.
/r/askMRP02/05/19 05:14 PM
2

This is great, and since R316 just finished Schnarch’s Passionate Marriage, I wanted to point out some parallels. R316 is in the process of differentiating (Schnarch’s term) himself from the relationship and finding his own narrative and meaning for his life outside of the relationship. Generally learning how to be non-needy and self-validating. And his wife needs to do the same for herself—differentiate herself and figure out her own narrative for what it means to her to be in the relationship.…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/19 05:08 AM
2

If you start lifting heavy and regularly, that power you’ve lost might come back and you could be stronger than before. Flexibility is a separate issue, but building stronger joints will help prevent tears and such.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/19 03:55 AM
1

I just listened to the first podcast. The concepts seem consistent with MRP, except for the whole part about talking about it with your spouse. There is a general anti-couples therapy view here, and I’ve been burned in couples therapy by being encouraged to victim-puke in a way that led to my wife losing respect for me. Nonetheless, I could imagine getting positive results with a good couples therapist under the right circumstances and depending on your spouse. Given your recommendation of those…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/19 01:09 AM
3

You’ve asked the same question on four different subreddits, and around half the comments are you arguing with the advice you are getting. You have to accept that you play a role in how your wife feels. You can’t negotiate with her to get her to desire you. If you do that, and she forces herself to have sex with you when she doesn’t really want to, she’s going to build up resentment that is going to end any good feelings she might have for you. Accept that fixing this is your responsibility. Tak…
/r/askMRP19/04/19 05:41 AM
2

That is a concern I’m consciously aware of. What particular aspects jumped out at you as being indicative of a simian ballerina?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/19 05:36 PM
1

OYS #2. Me: 43. 6’1”. 225 lbs. ~23% BF. Wife (42), married 14 years, together 17. 3 kids Listening to a podcast on Sunday about getting off the hamster wheel of thinking about self-improvement and just living life in an improved way, I realized that I was really looking forward to writing my OYS because it would force me to focus on my actions. Mentally I’ve been doing better, but I need to stay focused on actions. Physical: Set a goal of lifting 4x this week. Then I got sick, and when I tried t…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/19 03:21 PM
1

You ghost her when she’s sick? What kind of man does that?
/r/askMRP30/03/19 07:29 PM
2

I appreciate your comments about the laundry. I’ve been taking a similar approach—doing all of it because that is what I’d have to do if I was single—but I was struggling with my feelings about doing her laundry. But it is petty not to. And I want to be awesome, not petty.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/19 07:23 PM
1

“If I act like I DNGAF when she rejects me, then she’ll reject me less” is a dancing monkey approach. It is putting on the act—you are trying not to “act butthurt” when she rejects you, in the hopes that she’ll therefore reject you less. The real solution and path forward is to no longer be butthurt if she rejects you. To truly DNGAF. For me, that required realizing that I was relying on my wife to validate me. That her having sex with me was a sign that I was a worthwhile person and had value, …
/r/askMRP30/03/19 07:12 PM
4

Yep. I did the same—was vulnerable and shared my pain in couples therapy (pre-MRP). My wife has later brought it up as a time she lost respect for me. Not sure if the relationship is going to come back from that, but stay plan is go plan right now.
/r/askMRP30/03/19 06:16 PM
3

But that is an answer that you could have learned yourself from putting in the work through the readings and sidebar. Through that process—really working on yourself and grappling with those resources until they sink in—you would have discovered what feels genuine to you, without the covert contracts and other baggage you’ve previously brought to the relationship. Instead you’ve now been spoon-fed a mantra of “be yourself,” even though you may not have done the work to be a better version of you…
/r/askMRP30/03/19 04:13 AM
1

Fuck me, reading comprehension fail.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/19 09:50 PM
1

As a counter-point to the idea that all calories are the same, there was this write-up (from today) on t-nation discussing a study on processed vs. unprocessed food with the same calories, which found a difference in fat gain/loss: https://www.t-nation.com/diet-fat-loss/tip-ultra-processed-vs-unprocessed-diets Regardless of those results, the fact is that most of us who need to lose weight (i.e., me) do just need to focus on calories, regardless of the source. As another example, if you are real…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/19 06:56 PM
1

If you are up for it, I’d appreciate a short summary of the Quit Drinking book. I don’t plan to quit drinking entirely, but would like to cut back.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/19 04:10 AM
0

I don’t know. Given that I can’t figure out how to format my comment correctly, I might end up Venmo’ing you my proctology results, and then where would we be? You’re point is well taken. And although I’m assuming that you are focused on the free time she’s had as a SAHM, your comment made me realize that an underlying issue (her feels) was that as the kids have gotten older and needed her less, she’s had a need for external validation that I clearly wasn’t giving her. Initially she found it thr…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/19 03:07 PM
1

**OYS #1**. Discovered MRP in January. This is more background than solid OYS, but want to start somewhere. Me: 43. 6’1”. 227 lbs. 23% BF. Wife (42), married 14 years, together 17. 3 kids. **Background/Introduction to MRP/Relationship**: Trigger warning for those of you not prepared for Nightmare Mode (I thought about posting this only in RPNM, but it isn’t very active and doesn’t have an OYS thread). Several years ago, my wife and I opened up our marriage. It worked really well for a while for …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/19 01:52 PM
3

Tying into some of this, the documentary “Happy” is a short overview of research on happiness and discusses specific actions/processes that tend to result in more happiness. It is streaming on Netflix.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/19 02:59 AM
1

Alright, I’m in. I’ve been lurking and delaying posting my OYS, but it is time to step up, own my shit, and focus on being more awesome.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/19 04:36 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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