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Koi_Fish_Mystic Archive

View 1 posts and 96 comments by Koi_Fish_Mystic on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

CourtKoi_Fish_Mystic/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 02:10 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

The Japanese say there are 3 “selves”. The one we show our family & friends who know must the best. The one we show fellow workers and every day people. And then there is the real you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 03:04 AM
6

I wish I was in your shoes. Boy do I wish I was in your shoes.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 01:09 AM
4

I read somewhere that when women think of an incident, the emotion attached to it returns. If she was angry at you for that flippant comment, she feels the same anger & intensity she felt then. I asked my wife if this was true. She had an angry face when she replied “Yes!” That’s when I knew I could never repair our relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 05:17 PM
1

Weather is definitely better
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 03:50 AM
2

No Doubt cover is in Garden Grove, Decry is in Corona (both Southern California)
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:17 AM
7

I got a show (No Doubt cover band) Friday and a punk show (Decry) on Saturday. Shows are my escape.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 01:21 AM
3

Read books as a way to take your mind elsewhere. Mix it up between fiction & self help books. Hit the gym to let out frustration & let go of stress. Also, might make friends at the gym
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 08:55 PM
2

I got to a point where I just thought “fuck it, she’s out with her girlfriends, I’m going to go out with my friends”. We are living together due to finances. We haven’t split up yet. I think my retirement will the point where we walk away from each other.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 02:39 AM
4

Two choices: get in a dating app or find women in the wild (bars). Either one will require time, effort & money.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:24 PM
8

When my divorce goes through I don’t think I’ll marry again. I’ll find a fuck buddy & leave it at that
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 04:51 PM
1

She probably felt you escaping the responsibility of helping with the kids. I’m sure you were rational, but she’s (most likely) triggered because she felt abandoned to childcare duties by herself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 10:30 PM
1

^ This right here. A therapist is only as good as you put in the effort. If you’re not doing the work, then you might as well be talking to a wall.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 01:55 PM
2

Performance anxiety is something that isn’t discussed with ED. If you try certain meditative practices you can overcome it. webmd
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 07:46 PM
3

Get therapy quick. Do not believe the stories you tell yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 06:00 AM
3

Beer, always beer for me
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 03:28 AM
3

Thank you for sharing this, it really helps.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 02:13 AM
1

Thank you for the the sentiment. We will most likely divorce quietly when I retire, so roughly in 5 years. If/when my daughter finds a place of her own, I’ll move into that room.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 02:10 AM
1

My heart goes out to you
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 10:10 PM
2

They’ll appreciate the effort. Maybe not immediately, but they’ll get there
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 09:20 PM
4

I’m so glad our kids are grown up & when the conversation eventually takes place; they’ll be mature enough to understand. It tears me up to hear early divorces & how it’s messing up the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 09:03 PM
1

Try using a mantra to quiet your mind. Keep repeating until you nod off again.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 04:23 PM
-2

Definitely get off the meds and feel your emotions in all their intensity. There is no shame in crying it out. Let that pain go & focus on living your life one day at a time. At some point you’ll be able to live your new life on your terms.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 03:44 PM
1

Very thoughtful of you to say that. Thank you kindly.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 01:21 PM
2

I’ll keep pictures of the kids, but seeing her will be torture.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 08:55 PM
4

I similarly ruined my relationship with an amazing women. We are still living together but in her words “we’re only together because of financial reasons”. I kick myself everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 06:56 PM
1

Valid point.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 12:27 AM
2

Yikes! Sorry for you bro
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 11:03 PM
2

I’m close to having a fuck buddy, crossing my fingers.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 07:30 PM
1

Nice! Glad to hear it!!!
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 08:32 PM
1

Sounds like you’re doing a good job at being a father. Focus on that. The marriage is secondary to that. Be there for the kids & your wife will have to adjust.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:58 PM
1

Fingers crossed
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 01:58 PM
2

Yes it’s possible, no it’s not easy. You can use dating apps for fellow “silver” women. They are going to have high standards & will expect a gentleman in every sense of the word.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 04:01 AM
2

Put Google/Firefox/safari on incognito mode…type in Latina escorts LA or whatever area you are in. Voila! Now do the same & type Nuru massage instead of e-scorts
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 02:30 AM
2

There’s nothing like the real thing
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 02:28 AM
2

Yes, but it’s under the table. Same way you would find Escorts
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 01:23 AM
2

I went on a ‘date’ Saturday night (I specified it was platonic). Part way into the concert she suggested moving to a back corner…where it got gropey. We’ll see if on another date if I found a fuck buddy. You never know.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 01:12 AM
7

Like above, use protection. I have found Nuru massages to cost less & still ‘satisfying’. Just a suggestion.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 12:50 AM
2

The sleepless nights, yeah that’s me too. And I’m emotionally moving on. It’s gotta be better moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 02:13 AM
2

I use a magnesium supplement called Calm. It really does settle my nerves
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 12:28 AM
2

Turning the corner on emotional connection will make moving on easier. Congratulations on that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 07:13 PM
3

San Diego
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 01:52 AM
2

Trouble sleeping mostly, but I repeat my mantra to calm myself & sleep is now improving
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 10:07 PM
1

She does pay bills, but I don’t remember off the top my head.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 05:27 PM
8

My wife would sometimes make comments about “she wished she could be home”. I reminded her she married a teacher & we needed both incomes. Now she’s doing the “I’m an independent woman” routine even when I pay the entire mortgage & utilities.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 04:48 PM
1

As an elder punk, I think I look great
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 02:47 PM
7

Work on your marriage first. Exhaust those possibilities before leaving or looking elsewhere. The grass is greener on the other side because they water it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 01:06 AM
1

First, start getting therapy. I use the Ritual app & see my therapist twice a month. Second, I’m in a very similar boat so I know exactly how it feels. If it’s not too late, take a look at the love languages & at least use them before you split.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 08:52 PM
1

For a second I thought you were to the “wife alienating the husband from friends”. That’s exactly my wife is trying to do to me with our friends.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 02:21 AM
3

Thanks for posting this! It hit me hard but I need to read/hear this stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 01:11 AM
4

Big mistake leaving her in charge of the finances
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 06:12 PM
1

👏👏👏👏
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 11:04 PM
2

Wow! My heart goes out to you in this difficult time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 07:15 PM
3

Good for you! The Gottman reference especially means you’ve been doing the work. I wish you all the best!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 04:21 AM
5

I love this idea
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 01:22 AM
7

I’ve seen my share of bitter men (my brother) complaining how women easily get out of their vows. Sadly, I know he was a workaholic & wasn’t home much. It’s a double edged sword.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 10:19 PM
2

Thanks for this, I saved it for future reference.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 09:48 PM
0

Have you tried talking to her? Have you shared your valid concerns & how your experiencing these changes?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 05:18 PM
1

I’m married but the only reason we’re not divorced is financial reasons. I don’t plan on marrying again. I’ll date again eventually. But that’s it. When I retire, I’ll move a different country to make my retirement go further. I’ll stay in touch with the kids for sure, but only talk/deal with her as needed.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 10:22 PM
2

Fuck! I feel for you my guy!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 06:55 PM
1

By all means! It’s your life to live. I like your spirit lady!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 10:24 PM
1

A year is about a good amount of time. From what others on here say. I’m assuming they are getting therapy or processing it in some way. It’s not a magic line you cross, it’s an approximation
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:59 PM
2

You might be surprised. Many men might be looking for the same. If they’re divorced same as you, they might agree with what you’re looking for.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:51 PM
2

Sounds like it’s been more than a year for you. However, where are you mentally? Are you ready to start looking? Because in the end these women you date will pick up on the nuances of you aren’t
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:49 PM
5

Dating within an age range should be fine. Be honest about what you’re looking for, and expect them to be honest about what they want. I’m sure you spot red flags as they pop up.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:39 PM
2

None that I know of, nor found in any research. In fact, finding local support groups is difficult too. AA keeps coming up when I’ve searched online. I think this something in general that men need to improve. Keeping those old friendships alive. Nurturing them the way women do so we have a built in support system.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 01:45 PM
3

Silver lining is your fairly young & no kids. With time, you’ll learn from this experience & be better prepared for the next one. “This to shall pass” Time heals all wounds or at least makes them manageable. You’re just have to keep going to therapy to stay grounded.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 01:11 PM
2

So sorry you have to experience this. Women can be petty & vindictive and seems like she’s doing exactly that. Keep your chin up. Cry into your pillow at night. Talk to a therapist. But be cordial & factual when dealing with her. Treat it like a business transaction
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 04:15 AM
3

👏👏👏👏
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 02:12 AM
3

Since I’m in a dead marriage; I envy your position. Do couples therapy, as others have said. Put in the effort to make feel loved (5 love languages), and your marriage will improve a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 12:48 PM
2

I use the Ritual App for therapy & I highly recommend it. I’ve only ever had female therapist so can’t say which is better. My therapist is very good and gives me “hw” assessments to improve my communication skills.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 02:19 PM
2

Valid & reasonable argument
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 02:28 AM
3

👏👏👏👏 So happy for you. Best case scenario if you ask me. Pat yourself on the back!
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:33 AM
3

A lot of women are very ashamed to admit they have menopause. They also want to refuse to acknowledge that their body is changing and becoming older. I’m sorry you had to experience that. My wife’s best friend has been in denial for years and has not sought Medical help.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 11:23 PM
-1

Imagine if you were struck by lightning. Now, every day you have migraines, any number of ailments now seem far worse. Your life has been changed to the point where you have little to know temper. Your body seems to be betraying you. And to top it off, it’s not your fault. It just happened. Should your wife be patient with you? or does she think you’re giving an excuse?
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 11:22 PM
1

Consider this, watering the plants is maintaining something comfortable. Something known and familiar. Keep watering them. They’re your plants now. Treat the plants the way you would treat a pet. Nothing wrong having something in your life to come home to. It’s a garden inside the house.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 12:41 PM
1

Communication model: 1. Make an observation 2. Share w/ feeling 3. State your needs 4. Making clear request Did he teach you this? Because my therapist has been invaluable in learning communication skills.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 03:36 AM
9

The changing hormones could play a huge role in it. When my wife went through menopause, there were days when it was like a land mine. Men don’t understand how much hormones can affect women, especially when they’re wildly out of whack.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 02:27 AM
1

Absolutely, I get it. I’m keeping my head above water (or trying). But it’s hard. I’m reinvesting into my hobby & friendships. But it’s hard after 22 years.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 07:29 PM
3

👏👏👏 Spot on! So glad you posted this. I saved for future reference. I’m quickly approaching a divorce & I’m trying to keep from losing it. Some days are better than others. Some days just have me questioning everything.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 07:10 PM
2

If you’re on a dating website put cooking as a hobby or passion.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 05:52 AM
2

Be healed yourself is my guess
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 05:49 AM
2

👏👏👏👏
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 06:48 PM
2

This is where I’m at. Living together for financial reasons, it’s a freezer between us.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 12:54 PM
2

Ritual app is very affordable & you can see a therapist via zoom on your schedule.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 12:20 AM
2

If she refuses couples therapy then you’ve done what you can. You stepped up to change the situation. So that part of your conscience can rest easy. Definitely get therapy for yourself. You’re going to go through the same cycle as if you divorced. Reach out to friends & family because you’re going to need the support.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 12:06 AM
15

Wrong; spouses are not entitled to inheritance. At least not in my state.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 07:51 PM
1

That’s why you start. You’ll get there eventually
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 05:57 PM
3

Keep it civil & short. Don’t engage with her more than necessary
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 12:45 PM
1

Couples therapy or possibly an intervention with trusted friends & family
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 04:15 AM
2

👏👏👏👏 As a fellow yogi, I appreciate when guys suggest yoga. It’s life changing.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 04:06 AM
1

Don’t knock it till you try it. It has been a life saver for my back pain.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 04:05 AM
1

Have you tried Meet Up for things you’re interested in? Or going to a sports bar when you have solo time? For me, I find reading to be both a great escape it also good for my mental health.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 04:04 AM
2

Get therapy if you haven’t already. With time, this to will pass. For some the road is longer, but you will get to a point where you’re at a new normal. That doesn’t mean 100% whole and healed, it means you’ll be at a new equilibrium.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 03:55 AM
4

Get therapy if you haven’t already. If you have proof she cheated while you’re still technically married you use that against her in court. Good luck & my heart goes out for you. #StayStrong
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 12:31 AM
5

Gf & a unicorn; NOICE!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 08:04 PM
2

I can relate
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 08:02 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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