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LaFrescaTrumpeta Archive

View 0 posts and 1,484 comments by LaFrescaTrumpeta on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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didn’t girls petition to join the boy scouts specifically because they do more hands on dirty sketchy survival shit than the girl scouts lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 02:49 AM
1

yeah i was gonna say safe bet most self-identified feminists have never heard of choice feminism let alone ever called themselves choice feminists
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 11:23 PM
1

shoot even that can equal rejection to those with narcissistic tendencies 🙃
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 11:14 PM
1

i’ve met plenty of couples where the opposite is the case, i think this is highly individualized with a ton of other deciding factors there before biological sex even comes into the equation
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 11:11 PM
3

women gaining more freedom/independence/education is definitely a major contributing factor, a century ago it was easier for a decent career to be enough for a man to get a wife bc women (generally speaking) had fewer options, more pressure to see a husband/kids as their ultimate purpose in life, and more prejudice if they defied that social expectation. now women don’t have to rely on men to have a comfortable financially secure life and there’s less start-a-family pressure, it’d be fair to say…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 10:02 PM
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i wonder if this is a culture mismatch thing cuz i only say only when i mean only lol if i was writing your original comment i’d have just said that’s a valid reason
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:02 PM
1

damn near impossible to close in most cases, from what i’ve seen. i’d love for research to explore whether there is a sensitive or even critical period in our adolescence that makes or breaks a low self esteem kid’s ability to develop healthy self esteem. and a secure attachment style, which seem deeply intertwined. either way, heavily agreed on the importance of helping kids foster healthy relationships with themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:45 AM
4

idk if i’d go that far, idk how much i’d wanna speak to OP’s framing of lower standards but i can def speak to how prejudices inhibit attraction, and therapy can definitely help challenge and deconstruct one’s prejudices a solid example of prejudice inhibiting attraction is how a lot of people write off entire races of people because they just think they’re naturally not attracted to those people, but a lot of the time that’s rooted in racially prejudiced associations they’ve made or been social…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:47 PM
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ohh i see how i misread you there my bad!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 08:25 PM
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well first off i’m sorry this happened, break ups are never fun but this sounds particularly painful to say the least. assuming all of this is true and you’re not leaving anything crazy big out, yeah it sounds like you dodged a bullet. her dropping her entire life and saying this is 100% on you.. narcissistic might be too strong of a word (or it might be spot on?) but selfish certainly fits. i hope this doesn’t come off passive aggressive bc i mean it with genuine compassion, but it sounds like …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:57 AM
1

i can agree that in that first scenario it would be reasonable to feel insulted or straight up insecure about it, if i somehow found out my ex was into doing stuff with her current gf that i wanted to do with her, i’d probably feel non-neutral about it. but the critical thinker in me would also have to recognize that maybe it had nothing to do with me and more to do with her being in a different stage of life or having a new mindset where she’s open to it now, and might be open to doing it with …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 07:03 PM
13

just chiming in to say if someone calls themselves a lesbian but wants a man, she’s not a lesbian lol closeted bisexuality is a hell of a thing
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 06:20 PM
1

how do you know when someone blocks you? i just assumed it wouldn’t show them my comment or it would give some version of deleted-by-user thing if it’s in a thread
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 09:31 PM
2

oh wow i’m goin straight to jail then lmao i figured people were good just adhering to the not blocking mid debate thing
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 09:30 PM
2

yeah good point. also i’d hope most of us agree it’s beyond easy if not automatic to separate women from their sexuality when it comes to female relatives lol it’s not like it’s impossible to view non-relatives in the same non-sexual way, it’s just less likely to happen when a boy gets raised to think having sex with women as the most important thing in life/defines their self-worth
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 09:23 PM
1

impossible for straight men? what would it look like for a man to be able to separate that? i definitely think it’s true that a lot of men view women only through their sexuality, but idt that’s like an inherent fact of men, i think it’s heavily influenced by socialization it kinda reminds me of how often i see straight people do the same with gay people. ive seen a number of straight people essentially act like gay pride is 1:1 with gay sex, like seeing a pride flag in someone’s yard and saying…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 09:18 PM
1

oh wow hadn’t heard of any of that thanks for sharing. i hate all that “xyz immutable characteristic energy” shit it sends such a horrible message
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 08:44 PM
5

i don’t say this out of judgment but if i had to put money on it i’d bet the vast vast majority of the population has never heard of those people and most who do are probably men. most people haven’t even heard of some of the most popular online streamers ever let alone less popular porn/porn-adjascent stars, just my two cents
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 08:35 PM
2

can i offer a penny for your thoughts on an adjascent Q this made me think of? i’ve seen a lot more people shit on the bonnie blues of the world and love the claviculars under the heading of “it’s natural and okay for men to have sex with hundreds of women but it’s not okay when women have sex with hundreds of men.” would you consider that sexist hypocrisy?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 08:31 PM
1

i mean i’d wanna see the post you’re talking about to see those original threads myself but yeah if what you’re saying is true then that’s unreasonable criticism on their part
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:58 AM
2

that’s interesting, when i think of my best friends finding their partners someday i always hope they’ll have the kind of love that includes seeing each other as best friends. i don’t see it as an expectation thing in the sense that you can demand it be that way, to me it’s more like it either feels that way for two people or it doesn’t maybe this boils down to having different views of the term, ik some people see it as a literal exclusive role, i see it more as the term for loved ones who shar…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 10:02 PM
7

on its face i can’t help but wonder if there are any discrepancies in how you’re telling this now vs how you told it when nearly every woman in your replies hated on you for it? cuz yeah this sounds like a completely reasonable thing to say no to and a completely unreasonable thing to give you shit for lol all i can say is you’ll never catch me expecting a guy to help pack and move a woman’s stuff just cuz they went on two spaced out dates, that’s a “very nice if you do it, normal if you don’t” …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 07:10 PM
2

oookay then.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 05:40 PM
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sorry but wow is that immature lol no one said you can’t, dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 05:39 PM
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you seem a bit too comfortable making assumptions on a lot of things in these threads, friend. as one example, saying “Kids this generation” when you’re talking about someone who told you two replies up that they’re close to 50 years old. not sure it’s safe to assume people have something fucked up in their brain off one or two reddit comments, but it’s.. definitely tempting sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 05:33 AM
1

(edit for some reason i decided to hyperfocus on this for a good half hour so sorry to throw a wall at you lol but hopefully i said at least something of interest to ya. tl;dr nothing concrete suggests incels or men in general should prioritize looking for a male therapist, same on women and female therapists, nothing suggests therapist-client gender matching = better outcomes) i wish there was research on that, and more research on incels in general, but no i’ve never seen that kind of research…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 04:39 AM
2

just chiming in to say there’s actually a lot of women who do and would benefit from deconstructing patriarchal worldviews in therapy whether the therapist is a woman or a man. lots of men too, because a common concern that turns out to be pretty accurate more often than not is that patriarchal socialization damages self esteem by conditioning it on adherence to traditional gender roles (think “if you don’t do xyz you’re not a real man/good woman and deserve shame” manifesting in thousands of bi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 12:52 AM
3

you should check out r/therapists and see what they think about therapist influencers lol the ongoing sad joke is that the best therapists tend to be invisible doin their thing in therapy and not looking to make outside noise about it, and the worst tend to shout their takes online and get the most attention/shape public perception.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 12:39 AM
1

apologies for sounding like a broken record to those who’ve seen me bring him up before, but i know a sport psych who helped D1 college teams win about a dozen championships and worked as an NFL team psych. big time feminist and has a whole personal framework on patriarchy/cult of masculinity that he says he often applies in therapy when relevant & when it would benefit his clients/athletes (crucially, when they’re open to it, never when they’re not). his primary focus is self esteem (yes he’s a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 12:34 AM
2

i’m pretty sure the vast majority of it is written by women yeah, and ik a lot of people are just too visual-necessary to get into reading or audios. but i think a lot of guys may hear that and assume bc they’re a guy they’d never be able to like it so they never think to look and try, and i’m tellin ya there’s sooo much diversity in topics and kinks and author styles that tons of men would be into and just don’t know it. (i feel the same about various types of visual porn i’ve come across that …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 10:40 PM
2

fwiw i def have the habit of getting in relationships and finding myself reaching out to friends less, but it’s like all my friends men or women. def something im trying to work on. though i can imagine it probably sucks harder if you notice female friends distancing from their male friends but not their female friends, i’d feel weird if i noticed my guy friends doing that :/
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 10:14 PM
2

Some people make their flair “No Pill” just means you can’t directly comment on “question for men/women/redpill/bluepill” directly. you can always reply to the bot tho. pretty sure you can write whatever flair you want as evidenced by mine haha. edit just noticed yours, that totally works!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 10:10 PM
1

fuck that noise fam that’s true for some guys but not others. wish you could see a day in the life of my friendships with my guys, those are my ride or dies
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 10:07 PM
1

good question, can only imagine how every guy with female friends feels when they see people say that’s impossible lol. my guys are my brothers, one of the proudest moments of my life was being “best woman” alongside my “best man” bff in our other bff’s wedding. another was metaphorically talking another brother off the ledge when his mom passed, grateful for every day he chooses to stay. laugh together cry together argue together grow together enjoying life together, my guy friends have given m…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 10:04 PM
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would you agree that some women end up fine being single and other women don’t, and we can’t just look at someone and know which group they’d be in? i think it’s valid to argue that some women will have a worse quality of life single (usually linked to their attachment style imo) and to say it’s good to introspect and be honest with yourself if singledom isn’t better than reconsidering what makes you attracted to someone. but that’s a far cry from generalizing that and leaving little to no room …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 09:10 PM
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i mean some parents are absolutely wacked out lol my friend’s mom is a full blown misogynist, not every parent’s perspective should be respected. wouldn’t you agree there are a lot of moms out there who are some level of abusive? why assume everything’s kosher with hers? not tryna fight it’s just interesting to me to see you assume her mom knows best or something just bc she’s her mom
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 09:04 PM
2

i think they definitely think they’re helping men by promoting traditional masculinity (though i agree with you that they’re not tho, especially on the mental health aspect, but i also think that’s bc they view anything that touches therapy as feminizing as opposed to their motto of manning up). i think that explains the uptick they got in men’s support across like every demographic this last cycle when they started openly campaigning on it. saw your other reply citing their criticism of younger…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 08:49 AM
1

can definitely agree it’s an incredibly poor and biased prone source to try to generalize about half the population, that’s why it irks me when i see it on this sub like every day. agreed that most people probably agree there are bad men and that there are women who deny women can be just as bad (though i really don’t see that often, maybe helps that i’ve curated my feeds away from misandrist content which probably correlates with the kinds of women you’re talking about). what i do see more ofte…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 08:37 AM
9

and i remember like a decade ago it was even more common to come across vid titles without the “step” before the big sites started cracking down on it. hard not to wonder how many people have a legit incest thing, Freud is thriving
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 07:58 AM
5

mainstream as in studio? not really. love me some amateur stuff tho. can’t stand the fake exaggerated porny moaning where you can guess they’re faking it, i go feral for women who are clearly getting off on what they’re doing. nothing hotter to me than a close up O lol also erotica is so underrated there’s a whole world of hot out there for yall dudes if you can get into it. been thriving on ao3 fanfic smut for like a decade now 💀👌
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 07:50 AM
0

Is your take that this is something members of either gender do but women don’t get called out on it as often as men hence your focus on women, or is your take that this is something women do more than men? the gendering of this just strikes me as odd cuz idt ive gone a day on reddit getting ppd posts where i haven’t seen a guy do exactly this, but even then if i wanted to address this i’d degender it bc i know women do it too. not tryna fight ya ig im just curious if you think you might’ve gott…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 04:12 AM
2

i think there are fair criticisms of whether this example properly demonstrates your point, i just wanna say like.. there have been women who murdered men who rejected them, of course there are women who struggle with rejection. i wouldn’t wanna generalize any handful of examples onto overall gender patterns, i’d wanna see hard data to judge either way. if i had to bet i’d guess people who are more desperate and insecure are more likely to struggle with rejection, and it’s possible there are mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 11:47 PM
1

really? i’m kinda horrified by some of the old posts i’ve found through the search, like it feels like the sub went from “lesbians aren’t real” and “slut shaming is good, actually” to “slut shaming isn’t real” and “all women are lesbians, actually.” still weird as hell but less blatantly hateful, seems to me genuinely interesting to hear longtime lurkers feel like it has devolved, if anyone else has input i’d be down to hear it!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 05:55 PM
0

this is an intersection of gender and parenthood tho, you’d be right to say gender isn’t the only factor but wrong to say it’s not a factor at all. maybe we need a term like parental gender pay gap cuz just using one or the other misses half the story there. it’s significant that there isn’t a gender gap amongst non-parents but clearly is amongst parents
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 05:46 PM
11

are you serious rn? if we’re gonna get that reductive, which gender has the party that currently owns all three branches of the US government? ya know, the one that actively campaigns on restoring traditional masculinity and labels literally everything else as dei? come tf on. there are a ton of reasonable answers you could’ve made in response to that question but good lord is this one close to the bottom of the list. personally don’t think it’s rational to view one party as the women’s party an…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 06:10 AM
6

commenting in case this gets a reply
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 06:07 AM
2

cheers to that, do you fam 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 07:32 PM
3

i think there’s a bit of truth to the idea that men can be a bit self centered in bed to the point where lesbians have such a high O rate compared to straight women, but that’s certainly not the only factor given how much easier it is to make the average dick cum lol when it comes to why some women have more trouble than others, there’s probably a lot of anatomical variation, like i’ve got some friends who get off on g spot stuff and others where that’s just pressure that does nothing for pleasu…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:43 AM
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hard same, the emotional connection is worth it for me. quality > quantity any day, i can take care of myself outside of that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:53 PM
4

as a lesbian i’m jealous that their dating pool is like 5x larger than mine lol it’s gotta be a little nice to look at any given woman and feel confident that they’re at least attracted to your gender
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 08:40 PM
8

social cooperation was the far more important tool we used compared to physical strength, and i can’t help but sense the irony in how quick some people are to prop up physical strength over cooperation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:13 PM
19

not to mention on the titanic bit, that was one of the first cases of “women and children” being imposed because throughout all of history til around that point, the going motive was “every man for himself,” women and children died disproportionately. then they started implementing “women and children” around the turn of the century. i think it’s incredibly compassionate when men do that but citing the titanic as if it was the historical norm not the historical exception is just not accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:04 PM
4

that’s the biggest mindfuck to me, how so many people will dismiss every branch of psychology except that one, which is close to the bottom of the empirical validity totem pole. not to say i dismiss it entirely but good lord i bet even evo psychs are annoyed by how many people employ it uncritically
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 03:01 AM
2

morality is an attraction dealbreaker for other women, not the women who go for bad guys. same with the gender reverse, there are men who wouldn’t touch a bad woman with a 10 foot pole and others who would marry her. i’d argue the people who are attracted to bad people are not typical and that the average person’s attraction is somewhat influenced by morality, especially at extremes. like i’m guessing you could tolerate a date being a bit selfish or mean but not if it turns out they’re a child a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 11:23 PM
1

/s?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 10:55 PM
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or those are everyday women who don’t make headlines when they choose a shy guy? same with everyday male criminals rotting in jail with no love letters coming their way. what is the most concrete data out there to suggest there are more women who would date a serial killer than women who would date a shy guy, vs one of those demographics just getting more publicity and seeming more common than the other.. side note has there ever been a shy guy who made it on tv who still struggled to find women…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:08 PM
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agreed, and it fuels loneliness which also makes people more desperate/less patient/less resilient in the face of rejection. that’s the biggest common denominator imo, lonely people can express externaized anger or internalized sadness and either way has a higher likelihood of exacerbating conditions of loneliness and hopelessness. dare i say it takes above average resilience to get through it, i don’t think the average person would do okay under those conditions. also im specifically using gend…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 07:09 PM
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nice follow up Q, i feel like a minority have a predisposition for anger but yeah guessing in most cases it’s built up by perceived and actual rejections. also doesn’t help that we socialize boys to primarily express negative emotions through anger where they’re essentially set up to be particularly vulnerable to this cycle
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 07:04 PM
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i can definitely respect that take, i think there are a lot of lonely guys desperate for genuine connection and love and other guys who equate that with sex and make that their ultimate goal (also i don’t think this is gender specific im sure there are a number of women particularly lesbians with a similar mindset)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 07:01 PM
6

i definitely feel the lesbian equivalent of that but it’s similar to how some other men and women i know attach, the common denominator i notice between us is a lean towards anxious attachment. can’t help but think attachment styles are generally the biggest indicator of whether an individual is likely to catch feelings after having sex vs being able to walk away without emotional ties
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 12:30 AM
8

you’re talking about oxytocin and dopamine right? both surge in everyone during sex, i’m seeing that they surge at similar rates between the sexes with moderate differences in sensitivity/effect, majority overlap between the sexes. it’s not accurate to frame this in binary terms edit: deleted specific %s there aren’t clean figures on this like i thought i’d read
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 12:17 AM
3

i’ve had some positive interactions with some men on here where they seemed to think i had helpful or at least interesting things to say, and vice versa. not with a majority of men but enough to want to keep engaging here and seeing who else i can ideologically touch base with. i’m certainly not in habit of shaming men as failures for being long term single many mutual displays of sexist prejudice and disconnects in empathy to go around on this, i’ve seen some ridiculous generalizations made abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 05:16 PM
7

respect and same lol 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 05:11 PM
3

yeah tons of human vulnerabilities that are more evenly dispersed than the posts on this sub would suggest
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 05:09 PM
3

whew the replies to this one were particularly depressing but i just wanna say i appreciate your post, i feel the same way about men who identify as men’s rights activists who walk the walk on egalitarian & anti-prejudice principles. warms my heart when we can find such major commonality on this. cheers OP!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 04:21 PM
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wait i’ll get back to the emotionality piece but this could be a really fun convo, us being private about sex isn’t necessarily a natural thing. there’s actually a fascinating argument to be made that that’s part of a complex cross cultural coping strategy we’ve developed to stave off our awareness and subsequent fear of death. humans throughout history have notoriously struggled with accepting that we are animals, like im pretty sure a majority of people around the world still don’t believe evo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 08:22 PM
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happy to talk about what specifically you disagree with. much of my views on this are informed by men i know at the risk of sounding like a broken record bc ive mentioned him on this sub before, some of the most eye opening insights i’ve had on gender stuff were from a successful psych (sports psych actually, mainly works with male athletes) im close with who helped raise my awareness on the different social pressures boys and girls face purely because of their gender. things i probably wouldn’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 08:04 PM
1

thoughts on rape/incest fantasy porn being more than 1% of porn and whatever implications can be made about the male majority audiences that consume that? i don’t think there are exact figures for how large that porn subgenre is compared to dark romance but guessing we can agree they’re both at least 1%. i could respect saying they’re both concerning but it seems in your other comment that you see significance in the vanilla majority of porn that you don’t see with romance novels i hear ya on yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:35 PM
1

yeah that “if you liked her” thing is straight up toxic imo, i wish someone would tell my gay ass i don’t like my dates just bc i prefer we split the bill lol or i wish they’d say it’s somehow different bc im not a man as if that fundamentally matters on this
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:12 PM
2

generally agreed, i’m a lesbian so you can imagine this particular gendered expectation feels bizarre to me. ik people say it’s a sign she’s not into you but 50/50 is the norm for a lot of women and i think it’d be great if that was the norm in general. can’t help but think it’s weird if the guy asks for 50/50 and she fights him on it just because she’s a woman and he’s a man. maybe i can appreciate some nuance if she has a “whoever asked the other out should be the one to pay” policy but then i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:07 PM
11

if someone said men are generally cruel as opposed to women, i’d call that misandrist, wouldn’t you? genuinely asking cuz maybe we have different thresholds for what should be considered misogyny/misandry
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:07 AM
1

is there anything to suggest that the most popular romance genres aren’t vanilla? everything i’ve seen suggests that there’s no exact percentage of how big the dark romance genre is but that it’s not the majority
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:11 PM
6

they get the concept easily when it comes to porn lol incalculable amounts or rape/incest/“barely legal” porn out there, i’d bet most people into that shit arent actually motivated to commit crimes
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:03 PM
2

love how that’s the only thing you chose to engage with there
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 05:51 PM
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as based as your flair i’d buy you a beer if i could lol 🍻🏳️‍🌈
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:35 AM
22

you see single women in their thirties and run with “they must have had a lot of hook ups in their 20s?”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 08:56 PM
1

perfectly explained
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 07:41 PM
4

because “boys don’t cry” gets drilled into their heads by the time they’re like 5, they’re socialized to suppress vulnerable emotions that society has coded “feminine.” do you feel comfortable crying/being vulnerable with others? cheers if so, but many men, arguably most, do not. you’ll have a ton of guys even say “I don’t do vulnerability” like it’s a switch they flip not a part of their natural humanity they can express. it’s fucked up what we do to boys and men in this regard, personally it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 07:38 PM
8

this just in, algorithms find audiences for videos where women look bad, more at 11 i mean come tf on this sub is so wild sometimes. reminds me of the heart to heart i had to have with a bestie who got worked up about men cheating and cited her social feeds as proof. i tried to remind her about algorithm bias and attention biases that make us notice/remember things that confirm our worldviews and ignore/forget things that don’t. everyone should keep that in mind when they see shit like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 07:13 AM
10

i’ve never seen a feminist argue that there should be a draft for men but not for women, i’ve seen a ton say there shouldn’t be a draft at all. hell i’m still not over the fact that every guy i know and love is registered for it and im not, imo it’s as cruel and unfair to men as it is infantalizing to women. i actually lean more towards drafts being necessary evils in which case everyone should have to register and exemptions should be made beyond gender, a young dad shouldn’t have to leave his …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 06:55 AM
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women do take the steps to file for divorce more often, i’d even buy that they initiate divorce more often, but my understanding is that it’s still true that when it comes to health crises husbands are more likely to leave after their wife has one than the reverse
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 01:53 AM
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men are more likely to leave after their partner has a health crisis than the reverse, this is a particularly rough cherry pick
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 01:51 AM
8

it’s such a mindfuck to know how oppressed women have been cross culturally for centuries, many still to this day, just to have guys throw “men built society” around lol reminds me of those old arguments about how women shouldn’t get to vote because they don’t fight in wars as if they weren’t literally barred from fighting in wars in the first place also can’t say i’m shocked dude tunnel visioned on the makeup bit and didn’t touch the childcare point with a 10 foot pole
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:49 AM
4

there’s even been inverse correlations found between salary/prestige and how woman-dominated a field becomes, iirc that only started weakening when the education and degree gaps started compensating
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:41 AM
–

oh 100% my dream future includes an entire unit dedicated specifically to implicit biases cuz our brains are wired to develop them in some form or another and they’re too damaging to never address. or maybe i’m misunderstanding why you mentioned that
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 09:47 PM
1

nah i feel like those people felt that way long before they set their standards. there’s a healthy balance to be found
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 06:18 AM
2

just here to say you can pry my weekly joint from my cold dead hands 🤺🤺
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:18 PM
7

“I love pancakes” “so you hate waffles?” moment
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:15 PM
9

mood, idc how annoying some people find it but this sub is in dire need of constant reminders like this that a ton of these topics are not gender specific things even when they have gendered trends. be it topics aimed at women or at men cuz ive seen plenty of posts by women who make dichotomous generalizations on a daily, too in my dreams there’s a future where everyone takes at least a basic psych class in high school so they can see how much overlap exists between the sexes on the vast majorit…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:14 PM
2

oh wow thought this was gonna be about assault or false allegations or something idk if i’d call just anyone who gets manipulatively strung along a “victim,” same way i wouldn’t call someone a victim bc their partner lied about being open to a long term but just wanted sex, or someone who got cheated on. all shitty things tho, won’t catch me defending a friend who purposely strings someone along
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:11 PM
4

i think it’s a hard concept to pin down bc it can be so multi faceted (like someone who lacks confidence in approaching but has super human confidence in bed or at work) and it can be faked. it gets mixed up with self esteem concepts too
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 07:04 PM
2

self esteem, but most people miss that especially if the person seems confident
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:24 AM
–

source for most feminists believing in 100% nurture blank slatism? i know the history of the concept and i’ve heard of people today who still believe it but i’ve never seen anything to suggest most feminists do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 09:18 AM
0

ok
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:13 AM
8

tolerate prejudice, is what this boils down to? we’re on the same page that homophobia is a prejudice, right? genuine Qs i’m more fascinated than anything by this take
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 05:03 PM
–

just wanna emphasize how accurate this is, there’s a reason exposure therapy is considered the gold standard behavioral intervention for anxiety disorders, it’s incredibly effective. it’s incredibly difficult at first but god is it effective when you commit to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 05:05 AM
–

all i could think about as i read this was “self esteem self esteem self esteem.” that’s what gets damaged and influences personality, that’s what can heal and change a person for the better. that bit you said about facing negative feedback is very relevant here. low self esteem can make rejection devastating, high self esteem makes it tolerable and keeps you functioning rather than ruminating and/or spiraling. people often confuse self confidence with self esteem, but they’re distinct. if you t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:56 AM
16

“why even ask” this is the thought that goes through my mind when people say leftists and feminists don’t make appeals to men, like bruh we do make appeals it’s just that the guys who need to hear it usually don’t value what we say because it challenges fundamental beliefs many men have and are unwilling to reconsider. like yes actually many of them would benefit from therapy and no therapy doesn’t only work for women. yes expanding your social circle beyond romantic relationships will help ease…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 07:33 PM
–

there’s probably nothing anyone could say to help you not spiral but for what little it’s worth i just wanna say i feel for ya, i try to do my part in challenging this stigma/prejudice, and i hope an awesome compatible partner finds their way to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 12:45 AM
–

i mean i do think that qualifies as insecure it’s just that it’s one of the most empathy-deserving insecurities out there, i think it would take above average self esteem resilience to be below average in size, be raised in a world that conditions men’s worth on their size, and not end up somewhat insecure about it. i will say that my ex gf had an unusually tight situation down there and literally couldn’t enjoy strap ons that were over 5 inches, 4 was what felt best to her. if under 5 inch stra…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 12:27 AM
3

no didn’t you see the “whether you believe it or not” part that makes it valid! 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:21 AM
4

ohh painfully solid ref
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:16 AM
10

i remember a clip that went viral years ago of a frat parading through campus chanting “no means yes, yes means anal” and half the comments were laughing and saying shit like boys will be boys. happy for the person you’re replying to that that’s not how he usually sees the phrase used but holy shit that’s scratching the surface of horrible ways it has been used to minimize and excuse bad behavior from boys and men. give me “guys being dudes” vibes any day over that
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:15 AM
1

as an american, agreed! fun fact like a third of americans are creationists who believe evolution isn’t real and the earth is less than 10,000 years old. it’s such a mindfuck living here sometimes lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:03 AM
3

“Regardless if you believe in the Bible or not” proceeds to share one of the most influential and patriarchal stories ever written, by men, at the expense of women, as the intro for a rant about women’s flaws. god this sub is fascinating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:02 AM
3

one of my biggest pet peeves that i see on both sides of this sub is people essentially saying “my evidence is reality/common sense, go outside and look around” like guys that ain’t doin shit for shit here if you’re trying to be persuasive lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 07:56 PM
6

maybe we’re using agenda differently, i just mean that it’s clear you have a bias and want to promote your preference through the way you’re selectively challenging various takes (which is what the sub’s for it’s just interesting you seem to not want to be seen as biased, maybe i’m wrong there?). like most of your replies are challenging women who are career/friends > husband, and when at least one woman said she was the opposite but highlighted her concerns with that choice you questioned her c…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 03:03 AM
2

yeah changing their opinions and rolling downhill to their involuntary attractions is what i’m getting at, i don’t think it’s as easy as telling someone to change how they feel, it requires challenging the prejudiced worldview/thought processes that inform their attraction that’s what i mean by socialization, i don’t buy that women are born with an innate disgust at men crying (if that were the case i’d expect that to have been naturally selected out of men’s biology a long long time ago) i thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 02:59 AM
-5

yikes ✌️
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 02:51 AM
16

my short simple answer is because it was convenient for the men who benefited from it. same reason it’s in pretty much every holy book, religious authors and leaders preferred the power they had over women over any notion of fairness or equality. this feels pretty evident to me given the fact that it was consistently perpetuated throughout history and cross culturally, even when the survivalist implications you described aren’t relevant, especially today. many deeper layers to this especially on…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 02:48 AM
2

dang man i wish yall had some of the friendships i’ve had, ask any of my guy best friends and they’ll tell you the closest bonding moments we’ve ever had were when we were either laughing our asses off together or when we were crying together, usually about our deepest insecurities. they’ve had some negative run ins with women but they ended up marrying women who appreciate their vulnerability, it really is a beautiful beautiful thing
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 08:36 PM
1

why do you think we evolved the ability to cry? crying reinforces social support and bonding, it’s just being completely demonized by various cultural norms as feminine/weak/womanly and not what “real men” should be. hell, it doesn’t even need to have a utility for it to be okay and human and natural, none of my criticism would ever go to you for crying even for something seemingly small, all of my criticism goes to every message that gets put in young boys’ heads that their worth is in their em…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 08:32 PM
4

i think attraction is absolutely malleable, at least for a lot more people than we realize. ask anyone who has ever gone from being turned off by men’s expressions of vulnerability, introspected and worked on the underlying prejudices that fed into that, and now value men’s vulnerability. i have a two friends who went through that, lo and behold their disinterest in vulnerable men was rooted in weird inhumane beliefs about masculinity and quite a bit of disdain towards femininity, once they remo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 08:27 PM
13

it’s not that you need to, it’s just obvious that you do based on your replies lol take it you’d rather the more common answer be husband/kids > career/friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:18 AM
3

prioritizing a healthy relationship with himself first a foremost, aka taking care of himself physically and taking care of himself mentally/emotionally by having a healthy balance of self criticism and self compassion. if a person doesn’t like themself or can’t healthily soothe themself when hardships come, it can roll downhill into other areas of life from social to romantic to professional on and on. like for anxious attachment types, it can make them have lower unhealthy standards for others…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:14 PM
5

lol you should meet my dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:28 PM
2

“men look at home primarily as a place for rest and relaxation, women can’t be at peace at home if there’s any work to be done. also yes women are to blame for the divorce rate being so high”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:25 PM
1

good fkn lord, man 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:01 AM
6

ok see this is what i’m talking about in my last reply, even in a comment that says develop social skills and a social life you tunnel visioned on “be nice” and ran with “see you’re saying that’s a sufficient condition.”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:59 AM
6

i don’t see women saying “literally all you need to do is be a nice guy and that’s sufficient for attracting women who will have sex with you,” where are you seeing that? like can you cite an example? cuz it’s hard not to assume you’ve seen small time randos saying this and feel comfortable assuming they represent enough women to quote “pull into question the integrity of what all women say” or i can even buy that you’ve seen randos say “just be nicer” and inferred they meant that as niceness is…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 02:57 AM
17

who is the biggest feminist you can quote who says being nice is all it takes to get laid? like straight up argues it is a necessary and sufficient condition to getting women to have sex with you? like you can have awful hygiene but as long as any guy is nice they’ll get sex? cuz it kinda feels like yall have echochambered your way into believing that’s a mainstream feminist take bc Jane Q Publics make a ten word tweet every couple months that goes mini viral. and when you kick your post off wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 12:06 AM
1

again setting aside that we’ve gone from “no rock songs are sexual, name one” to “actually just no rock songs in the last 5 years are sexual, name one” given that rock barely even makes the top 100 anymore, promise you won’t dismiss songs as irrelevant just bc they don’t hit a billion streams? or dismiss songs for being by artists who do other genres besides rock?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 10:22 PM
2

setting aside that you’re putting your youth there quite a bit (not trying to be insulting, it just makes sense that you’d have this take if you only started exploring music in the last decade) and setting aside that you just catapulted the goalpost from “men don’t make sexual music” including apparently all of rock (do you still argue that?), to “recently men haven’t made sexual music” which i’m sure will get launched to “recently men don’t make as sexual of music” while still excluding the mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 10:15 PM
1

hey sorry just now seeing this i regularly make that exact point that women also reinforce patriarchal norms yes. hell, i’m a masc lesbian, ask me how many examples i have of other queer women projecting patriarchal gender norms onto me and themselves lol ive had heart to hearts with two of my best friends for saying they wouldn’t date a bi guy, and when you look beneath the surface it turns out they felt that way bc they bought into rigid patriarchal views of masculinity and femininity. i was a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:47 PM
0

lolk
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:30 PM
2

i do wanna say that the example of spending 72 hours together/meeting each others family/still not suspecting the other likes them, is not a particularly common experience. i’m sure that happens but the more common experiences involve being friends and being unsure if the other woman even likes women let alone if their banter is friendly or flirty. but in either case, to your point about just asking, that still falls under the concern/insecurity (at least that’s the word i’d use) of making them …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:18 PM
3

yeah i was gonna say the bi women with boyfriends stereotype is just a numbers game thing, a bi woman is gonna meet like literally 10x more straight guys than queer women on any given day. (i find myself telling this to a lot of bitter fellow lesbians who just do not get this lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:14 PM
2

probably a hot take for me to say that i don’t even buy that that’s a legit category of sexuality honestly (and i do have to own that some of my annoyance is based on seeing “demisexuals” sometimes argue that they’re a sexual minority alongside LGBTQ folks, so im certainly biased on that to a degree) but demisexual feels more like a label people came up with for an expression of certain attachment styles. i would need to see a ton more research to buy that 1) it’s a thing, let alone 2) its the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:10 PM
3

100% buy that the bystander effect happens more often with male victims for sure apologies if i’m misinterpreting, feels like that 2000s case was meant as an example of male victims being uniquely ignored, i just wanna note that that’s a tragically classic example of the bystander effect that happens to male and female victims. it reminds me of an awful case of a woman who was gang raped on a beach with dozens of people nearby but no one did anything. whole world would benefit from us making mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 05:49 PM
1

fun thread to read through as an atheist myself thanks for making the post
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 11:27 PM
2

i’d even say it’s not necessarily stupidity i think insecure self esteem and attachment is the biggest common denominator. some people can be really intelligent and have a completely broken relationship with themself to the point where they might even seek out abuse
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:51 AM
10

at the very least we know that dude has never had a close friendship with a lesbian 💀 it would blow his fuckin mind to spend a day in the life trying to navigate dating as a lesbian in a world where most women are abso fuckin lutely not queer lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:28 AM
4

oh lord
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:21 AM
–

fantastic fkn movie and character btw love that shoutout 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:19 AM
6

there are several men in this thread directly contradicting that take lol i think the most reasonable view is that there are men and women who want that feeling and there are men and women myself included who want satisfying relationships where “best you can get” isn’t even a factor. that feels like idealized fairy tale stuff to me for me it’s easy to recognize that it’s a big world and there are thousands if not tens of thousands of people out there who i or my future wife could have fully sati…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:12 AM
3

just commenting to say the flair made me laugh 😂🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:01 AM
2

i also wonder how much that’s an extra big challenge for ND folks, i mean shit dealing with probabilities instead of guarantees fucks with me sometimes and i just have some mild adhd lol throw severe adhd and/or autism and/or depression in the mix and i could see how that perspective would go in one ear out the other for a lot of people. obviously not an excuse and not a complete explanation but i feel like it partly explains why that just isn’t sticking for some people right away or ever
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 01:13 AM
3

right cuz men never get and stay in relationships with abusive women lol was that satire that i took too seriously?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 07:15 AM
6

look past the abuser, look into the psychology of the abused partner who is interested in them, as well as the psychology of abused partners who don’t realize until they’re in the relationship that their partner is abusive and still don’t leave. purposely leaving this gender neutral because this isn’t a gender thing as much as it’s an attachment insecurity/self esteem thing. don’t listen to people who unironically say “women have a unique sense to xyz” i have seen nothing to indicate that that’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 07:04 AM
–

“it’s none of her business” is beyond fascinating
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:46 AM
–

if that’s what every woman in your life is like then sorry ig, that ain’t gonna be relatable to most people not even most men on this sub, it feels like you’ve got a limited view of the world and you’re projecting it onto 4 billion people. no one says you have to pursue or date women. do you want us to convince you to do so or something? there’s clearly some pain behind this post, i wish you the best in pursuing a life that makes you happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 09:53 PM
5

i’m a masc lesbian how much time ya got lol heteronormative expectations pretty much delayed me coming out to myself for years, thankfully that chilled out when i went all out on the masc style this is a mild example but it happens most often where i just want men around me to treat me like they’d treat another guy/person but it’s obvious they’re seeing me as a woman first and foremost and sayin shit they’d never say to a guy. the “you should smile more”s and the “that’s such a pretty name”s and…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 07:54 PM
1

?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:45 PM
1

interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:38 PM
2

tragically good point.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:27 PM
1

imagine my shock he never replied lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:27 PM
0

our society is plagued by patriarchal values, “boys don’t cry” is a hallmark. everything that reinforces traditional gender roles/norms/policing speaks to patriarchal values. we have a lot of work left to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:26 PM
3

“you can’t view one apart from each other” is basically the logic of the women you’re criticizing, “men are the problem because some men are the problem” to endorse one is to endorse the other. we don’t have to no true scotsman it, we can acknowledge there are misandrist feminists out there but those feminists exists doesn’t mean feminism = misandry
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:23 PM
1

calling out patriarchy is not about putting down men’s achievements, its only relation to men’s achievements at worst is acknowledging that men have historically been given every opportunity to achieve things that women weren’t granted, or in acknowledging that patriarchal values have a bias against women’s achievements when they do happen. i get annoyed by the misuse of the term too but that doesn’t mean we should throw the whole thing away like there’s nothing to label
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:20 PM
5

commenting in case this ever gets an honest reply
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:24 PM
12

none of it?? none of it is sexual? Crazy Bitch, Sex on Fire, Paralyzer, Animals, Bad Girlfriend, Cherry Pie, Hot for Teacher? those are drops in the bucket fam i genuinely can’t believe you think rock songs are never sexual lol tf
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:22 PM
9

she’s hated by many young and old men and women, but she’s still the most popular artist among women, that’s a bizarre example. i don’t see any reason to assume the hate she gets is because she’s not sexualizing herself enough
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:28 PM
6

my mind immediately went to band of brothers, Major Winters did not approve of this one brief seen of tom hardy’s character having sex but the showrunners kept it in anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 04:22 PM
1

are you open to the possibility that that may have been an overreaction?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:44 PM
8

gotta love referencing how so many women of the past didn’t love their husbands because they didn’t really have a choice in marrying them, just for your thesis on that thought to be “when boys today hear that they realize women can fake love for a lifetime for some perceived benefit.” good lord, fam, idek whether to begin with how wildly tone deaf and transparent that focus is (would be curious to hear your thoughts on idk how every girl feels when she first learns about how violently oppressive…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 08:49 PM
–

ask any psychologist and they’ll tell you there’s far far faaaaar more similarities than differences, and the differences are not universal.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 01:34 AM
–

it’s probably more aimed at guys who don’t value or pursue friendships with women like as a rule or belief in its lack of value. i’d argue opposite sex friendships aren’t necessary for successful dating but they can bring tons of value to one’s life
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 06:46 PM
–

yeah i can only imagine how those “men and women can’t be friends” takes read to guys who have friends who are women lol it’s such a self report, for women who say it too bc i know plenty of them exist. one of my fondest memories is splitting the “best man” role at my guy best friend’s wedding with my other guy bff, some of the richest relationships i will ever have are the platonic ones i have with those two dudes. brothers fr, wish everyone could experience it
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 06:41 PM
5

it’s a whole slur lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:27 AM
3

shoutout ao3 idk what i’d do if something ever happened to that site lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:14 PM
2

got bored and checked what Claude had to say for this, basically ~40% of women consider it to be bad, ~20% of men say the same, in the 70s 45% of women thought it should be illegal, dropped to 35% in 2012. https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/pornography-use-among-young-adults-in-the-united-states interestingly, a 2022 survey found that 42% of both men and women in the 18-29 demographic see porn as morally wrong, older generations are where you’ll find growing divides https://www.americansu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:10 PM
1

fwiw i took a psychology of personality course and my biggest takeaway is that there isn’t like a universally agreed upon theory of it, there are a handful of respected ones but not an all-encompassing one. it always struck me as a concept/construct that has to weave so many complicated elements together big and small that it’s hard to pin down. and that’s the field that studies it, most people won’t say the same thing if asked how they’d define it
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:00 AM
3

it’s not like being funny is an inherently sufficient condition to attract the average woman, it helps your odds but it can be easily outweighed by other negatives, like i had a buddy growing up who was really funny but his hygiene/health was not great. funny helps but it’s not a silver bullet for dating woes
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:53 AM
3

some do, some don’t, bit of “survivor bias” in terms of us knowing about abusive men who get in relationships and abuse compared to abusive people who can’t get in relationships to abuse and therefore aren’t part of most statistics, that’s a very big element to this that rarely even gets acknowledged. also some who do get in relationships have horrible personalities from the jump and just end up with hyperattached low self esteem partners, especially if they’ve been abused by others in the past.…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:47 AM
2

i do think it’s funny that this post has been up for 10 hours but it clearly just hit everyone’s feed lol didn’t know that’s how that worked
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:42 AM
10

and that’s a drop in the bucket of the research on this. i buy that sometimes women assume there’s bias behind a guy’s criticism for them when there’s not, but a lot of the times there is and it goes way way way beyond a misunderstanding of tone and “tact.” hell, women even have that bias, too
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:04 AM
–

Neither did feminists @ OP
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:05 PM
–

the entire culture of the 2010s revolved around shitting on feminism you couldn’t call yourself a feminist on any platform without getting hate for it lol you sound like someone young who never saw any of that, confirmed if you think “be mean to feminists” is a new idea not the classic most common response to feminism since its inception. the movement was formed due to the entirety of human history revolving around the hatred against and subjugation of women ffs 💀 my two cents, fighting fire wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:00 PM
1

definitely has never had an in depth convo with one about this stuff lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:59 PM
5

“other people are biphobic why can’t i be” is interesting.. i empathize with your frustration but my first thought is that those women are probably wildly insecure and deserve criticism worth keeping in mind that most bi women end up with men, it’s a whole discourse in the queer community lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:44 PM
1

meanwhile gay women have the reverse problem we all have exes who ended up with dudes lol if you’re worried that a woman who watches lesbian porn or has a history with women can’t prefer men and dick come chat with the lesbian community for a different perspective lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:41 PM
1

“stuff all blue pillers agree on” is a faulty goal, fam, “blue pill” isn’t even an organic movement its the label redpillers gave mainstream non traditional views, you’re catching idek how many different kinds of people and ideologies with that. not even all redpillers agree on what the redpill is or what its goals should be. sorry if you were being hyperbolic and im taking that part too seriously i just hear people make that take a lot and im like.. my biggest criticism for women in a dating co…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 03:03 AM
1

perfectly outlined, i’da written a ted talk trying to convey what you summarized in that last sentence lol 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 02:12 AM
3

i know this is a false dichotomy but oof nah i’m going with no sex and not giving someone baggage. like we’re talkin “have hot kinky sex that she (or he, but it’s she in my case 🌈) later regrets and gets baggage/complicated long term issues from” vs “never have that kind of sex and she never gets baggage/complicated long term issues from it” you’d really choose the former? i wonder what the sub consensus on that would be, if it’s have sex & give baggage that’d be really eye opening to me edit: o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 07:14 PM
1

you’re not gauging the opinion of a majority of people that identify as feminists when you ask a questions on a handful of feminist subreddits. at that point your gauging the opinion of the subset of the minority of people that follow that use the internet, use reddit, use that sub, happened to see your post, engage with posts and happened to engage with yours. i mean it’s research 101 literally to acknowledge that that’s not automatically generalizable outside of that subset. totally fine to as…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:28 PM
5

it’s not a circle jerk just because you want the thread to cater more to the disagreements you have with it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 08:53 PM
11

yeah learning just how vulnerable people are to implicit biases helped me understand a lot of the world, we are incredibly incredibly susceptible to biases we lack awareness of having them or live in active denial that we could have them
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 08:48 PM
10

probably one of the worst generalizations i’ve seen on this sub and that’s saying something lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:25 AM
5

big agree and relatable 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 02:48 AM
1

i’m big on second chances, but i’m also the hyper/anxiously attached type and that gets me taking the short end of the stick at times, i hope im not the type who would ignore it if it became a 2+ times pattern
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:23 AM
0

kinda insane to gender this when Donald Trump has been elected twice with more support from men than women, pretty sure in every racial demographic, and i’m willing to bet a majority of his supporters regardless of gender have no fuckin clue what narcissism is. literally wouldn’t know a narcissist if he shot someone in the face and expected their vote. there is 0 sexual attraction fog involved on that one, they just literally don’t know he’s a classic case of NPD (and i’m trying to be charitable…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:43 AM
2

definitely not the only reason, another big concern is whether human trafficking rates increase in areas where prostitution is legalized. there has been (edit: contested) research suggesting legalizing it increases the demand and incentivizes bad people to increase the supply however they can. i’m seeing now that that correlation is not clear cut and universally accepted as fact but yeah just fyi that’s a big reason a lot of feminists are hesitant to jump on board
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:23 AM
6

but then the flip side (at least to my understanding from a human trafficking course i took in college) is that legalizing it results in more human trafficking, it’s such a double edged sword. blew my mind when i learned that
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:16 AM
38

can i just say i really appreciate the use of “some” here, literally just adding that word to a lot of PPD post theses would go such a long way i think in those cases, a big partial explanation is that the misandry is implicit, much like a ton of misogyny is implicit, where people just literally don’t realize they have a full blown prejudice. or, they’re in denial of it, because they know their takes (/expression of anger) aren’t valid when they’re prejudiced. arguably the common denominator in …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 05:59 PM
4

that doesn’t explain why getting pegged by a woman is viewed so negatively, i think a lot of people miss how “being penetrated” is viewed negatively in our society, be it men or women being penetrated, by men or women, be it any hole, be it a body part or a toy, the common denominator is being penetrated < penetrating. i think there’s actually a fuuuuuck ton of misogyny wrapped up in this shit which is why we even use “get fucked” with a billion variations as a negative insult, including sucking…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:45 PM
11

oh i have seen enough of the world and the internet to know pleeeeenty of men, including masculine conservative men, love the idea of giving up control and getting tossed n bossed around lol and plenty of women who really don’t like that. “fundamentally” is moving mountains in that take imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:40 PM
15

i’ve always seen it as, society thinks it’s degrading to be penetrated and empowering to penetrate, which is why women pegging men is viewed as a punchline, or why even in lesbian and gay circles “tops” are usually more respected than bottoms
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:38 PM
2

i mean when you say narcissist do you mean that your brother has narcissistic personality disorder?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 08:04 PM
2

first off, very sorry to hear you’ve experienced that, that’s awful and so shitty of your partner. that said, 4 billion men on the planet no not all of them cheat come on yall 😭 also anyone can write a book, you can literally write an entire book of lies and publish it if you want. trust peer reviewed research instead of one person’s bullshit. hell peer reviewed isn’t perfect but it’s less likely to change your view of the world via false sexist generalizations and misinformation. beware of the …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:12 AM
2

Camry made me laugh 😭 i see your camry and raise you a 2003 ford mustang i miss seeing those around ok hear me out Jodie Foster rn at 64 like i just know she talks you through it lmao also i think this person is like peak conventionally attractive but i’ve gotten shit for saying Ygritte from game of thrones was hot as fuck, ig some people aren’t into the rugged abrasive woman vibe but i’d be her doormat if she ever needed one 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 09:25 PM
1

uh yes, friend. you’d be shocked by how anxiety/low self esteem/a number of other psychological issues can impact personality and suppress charisma..
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 06:52 PM
0

you can want a relationship without needing a relationship. relationships can be important enough for someone to want one but not so important that they feel they need one.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:33 PM
–

most women have a time in their life where they question their sexuality and sleep with women? pressing x to doubt lol i’d be curious to see any data suggesting that
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:23 PM
–

i suspect i’m in the same boat, especially bc i have a lot of existential fomo as an atheist who believes this is the only life we get and the thought of never getting to experience what to me is like, peak physical affection with the person i love, idk if i could hang. but also maybe that’s bc i have trouble imagining someone so perfect for me that abstinence wouldn’t be a dealbreaker idk. it’s an interesting one to chew on so thanks for mentioning it
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 09:11 PM
2

this is something that is a big problem in the lesbian community actually, where a lot of gay women who want to find a gf just never actually pursue anyone outside of dating apps bc they don’t wanna mistake a straight woman as a queer woman and make her uncomfortable by approaching. hell, applies even when they know the person is gay, it’s just the same general concern that the approach would make the person uncomfortable. i give the same advice to them as i give to straight guys pursuing women:…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 08:52 PM
1

back at ya 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 08:33 PM
0

absolutely, i think people who get into extreme prejudiced stuff in general are usually susceptible to it for self esteem reasons. it’s more complicated than this but you just don’t see happy satisfied people falling down those rabbit holes, so it’s easy for me to imagine that helping people become more happy and satisfied with themselves can reverse and protect against harmful belief systems. if people can get sucked into literal cult mentalities and find their way out of it and back to normal/…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 08:27 PM
4

i think a lot of MRAs are like that but people like OP seem like the opposite, there’s no value in generalizing them all together when there are important mens issues worth fixing. like for example i just saw a study that found that suicidality amongst men decreases by 9% for every two inches taller they are, solidly linking mental health issues with the stigma of being short. and im willing to bet my life that that’s not a natural phenomenon and is a societal issue we should all work to undo.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 09:20 PM
3

idk how much of it is a media effort to associate good men’s rights advocacy with unsavory groups for the purpose of dismissing men’s rights i feel like that’s just the most popular and visible forms of that advocacy rn. partly due to the fact that there’s more of a demand for the angry gender wars shit than there is for the reasonable stuff. this is anecdotal but the best content i’ve seen advocating for men just don’t get the big audiences that the asshole content gets, and i mean organically …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 09:13 PM
6

sounds good to me fam if you get negative feedback just filter the shit you think is valid like if any takes feel like they’re unilaterally blaming women or something, but nothing in your post suggests that’s how you lean so cheers to that. i feel like you have a solid foundation for being able to tell the bs feedback from the constructive criticism (if it’s ever even warranted). men/the world could use good advocates bringing awareness to men’s issues and we could also really use people who are…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 09:00 PM
2

the hardest part is getting started for sure, but that doesn’t mean your conclusions will necessarily happen for everyone who tries. i’m a big fan of people working on developing self esteem/growth-oriented protective skills so that when those failures and rejections happen the person doesn’t hate themself and can pick out the useful info from those experiences to learn from. also worth noting none of that is gender specific or even romance/dating specific, tons of different contexts where peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 06:20 PM
5

in a lot of cases it would be implicit/unknown to the individual, like who a lot of women have male validation issues but swear up and down that they don’t care about men. i wouldn’t feel confident just accusing any given individual of that, but most ppl with validation issues, especially this kind, would say they don’t have em also agreed the prostitution bit doesn’t work, lots of reasons someone wouldn’t consider soliciting prostitutes unrelated to OP’s point
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 11:55 PM
4

i was about to say how funny that must read to every below average size guy who has gotten this compliment and every woman who’s ever given this compliment to a below average size guy lol amazes me the confident generalizations people will make about 8 billion people
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:28 PM
1

mood on the default dad’s last name even if the dad is out of the picture. i’m of the opinion that the one who risked her health and life to give birth should be the one who decides what last name gets stamped on the kid (and i’m a lesbian who’s never giving birth so i’m 100% leaving that up to my future wife)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 09:36 PM
5

if you’re curious for one lesbian’s perspective on her ideal female partner, i’d have to think pretty hard on that one bc sex is important to me but i’ve also been able to satisfy myself most of my life. i could see myself giving it a try but i have a feeling i wouldn’t be able to suppress my sexual attraction to my partner or channel it elsewhere in a way that satisfies it. i think we only get this life and it’s hard for me to imagine never getting to share sexual intimacy with the love of my l…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:40 AM
–

no i don’t think any one corner of the internet is representative of either gender, also haven’t seen those specific takes here, if anything i see “men want/seek sex more than women,” “most women don’t go to sex parties,” and “most women don’t like dating apps” maybe the algorithm is showing me different kinds of posts from here ik i don’t get all of em on my feed, can you link one of the comments/posts you’re talking about? curious if i’d recognize it and forgot it/ignored it or if i just didn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 08:47 PM
2

nah there is a way to know that/get a good sense of which demographics voted which way, like exit polls. my contention is that no one has ever argued that every demographic of women is as progressive as the next, like how black women on average are significantly more progressive than white women. idk what gotcha he was going for with that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:01 AM
3

i think it’s worth noting that kids start picking up on slut shaming and the sexual double standard at very young ages, my niece for example was about 7 or 8 when she asked me why the boys at school called Taylor Swift (her fav) mean names bc she had a lot of ex boyfriends, along the lines of “why can boys have lots of girlfriends but girls can’t have lots of boyfriends?” and that’s probably not the first time she has been exposed to those kinds of messages it’s just the first one i’ve been made…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:45 PM
–

did that study differentiate women who have clitoral vs vaginal exclusively? were any other types of orgasms examined? cuz my immediate thought is that most women who can have vaginal orgasms are likely to also be able to have clitoral orgasms as opposed to a lot of women who can only have clitoral orgasms, my thought being that it makes sense if women who can have multiple types of orgasms would express greater satisfaction than women who only have one type. which could go either way, a woman w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 10:26 PM
–

so that translates to “all or most women have friends with benefits” how lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 10:05 PM
–

there really is something to be said for how egocentric a lot of these perspectives are, “she doesn’t do xyz for valid reasons unrelated to me, it must have something to do with me specifically”
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:44 AM
–

yall are living on a completely different planet if you think that applies to most women lol cite a source if you’re gonna argue most women are in an active friends with benefits relationship. i’m seeing that about half of women have had one before and a significant minority have one at any given time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:42 AM
–

sounds like a win win for you both then lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:39 AM
–

genuinely you believe this applies to every woman on the planet and/or every woman in this country? lol come tf on
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:39 AM
–

hey this might sound shocking but no this does not apply to all or most of the 4 billion women on this planet and 170 million in this country lol believe it or not some women do genuinely want to take it slow for a number of reasons, one being that physical intimacy is important to them and they don’t want to do it with someone after the first date until they get to know them. sex is inherently riskier for women, from abuse/rape/worse to pregnancy and stds, this is largely why not many women are…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:34 AM
5

if you go to the adhd partners sub you’d walk away thinking no one with adhd ever has a successful relationship lol happy satisfied people are less likely to talk about their lives online than unhappy dissatisfied people
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 09:26 AM
4

yeah agreed not all porn results in making someone misogynistic and iirc access to porn is actually associated with lower rates of assault i also think it’s worth noting how much porn is out there that’s explicitly or implicitly misogynistic and how people can develop misogynistic implicit biases from watching it, or at least have preexisting biases reinforced but also also back to the OP i feel like those who see the redpill as a negative misogynistic influence tend to be the ones who see porn …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 08:52 AM
13

projecting hatred outward is absolutely a big concern worth challenging but i gotta push back on that last part, it’s not just about being upset, loneliness is one of the biggest risk factors for suicidality (and other mental health issues). iirc only helplessness and hopelessness have stronger associations. feel like there’s a fair argument to be made that working to reduce loneliness will have a greater impact on reducing misogyny than vice versa. but i also think we can work to reduce both at…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 08:43 AM
7

gotta say i expected a lot of “this is dumb and insulting to even ask” replies but i didn’t expect “it depends/i’d need more information” and “yeah damn good deal”💀
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:38 PM
11

nah i think it’s literally just about finding a healthy balance between accepting one’s desire for relationships and not letting romantic approval and rejection define one’s self esteem. it’s like whether someone’s pursuing relationships because their self-worth/life feels neutral and they want to add that kind of positive vs if their self-worth/life feels negative and they feel they need to add a positive to compensate, those in the latter are at higher risk of a lot of bad shit compared to tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 06:15 PM
4

ok wait tons of women do exactly that it’s one of the biggest risk factors for seeking or staying in abusive relationships. this is a human thing
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 06:09 PM
2

validation-seeking relates to attachment security and self esteem security, women who get in or stay in unhealthy relationships, especially abusive relationships are doing it in large part for male validation. any example you can think of where a “chad” treats women like shit but still gets some flocking to him, this concept applies to those women and is partially what separates them from women who want nothing to do with guys like that. same with men who have issues with needing female validati…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 06:08 PM
–

but it is a thing so we can’t just “it doesn’t make sense” it away, off the top of my head it’s easy for me to imagine women enjoying it from a distance but hesitant to engage with someone directly bc of HIV risks and stigmas. your comment also makes me think about how some people assume lesbians aren’t real and they secretly want men & dick all the time, which explains why men are quicker to pursue queer women than women are to pursue queer men. lots of people think bi men aren’t real either an…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:12 PM
–

oof i’ve never even seen someone say that but it just triggered meee i started fightin with people about it in my head 💀 top tier cowardice by anyone who says that shit, lemme hit em with one of those old Hillary Duff commercials
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 07:27 PM
4

“truly helpless and directionless and at the mercy of their hormones” was your mother like this? edit when i read this back it sounds snarky but i am genuinely asking, if you only want to reply to one Q pls let it be that one “what it’s like to be uninterested in sex 26 days out of a month, and so horny they will jump on anything that has a pulse 3 days out of the month” i’ll skip your mother on this one lol what percent of the 4 billion women on the planet would you say are like this? what is y…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 09:50 AM
10

i’ve been accused of “demolishing male spaces” for things as harmless as being a woman who plays cod lol your accusation of me will have to be a bit more specific if you care for me to consider it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:59 AM
–

yes friend that would be because i am a lesbian lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:49 AM
–

gotcha your phrasing earlier made me think you were kinda talking in hard generalizations or absolutes but likelihood is a more reasonable argument. do you have any data you’re basing these generalizations about egalitarians on or is this off your perception/anecdotal? i’m actually seeing data that suggests increased relationship dissatisfaction/increased desire for others in those who have traditional relationships compared to egalitarian. both men and women in traditional relationships are mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:42 AM
5

same as a big time feminist lesbian lol some of my favorite convos are ones calling out misandry and how so much of it like virgin- or height-shaming are aligned with patriarchal values. i’m not seeing any data to know either way how liberals/leftists/feminists view men. fwiw ik it’s anecdotal and a small sample prone to my attention bias, but the most feminist liberal space i’ve been a part of was my college’s gender studies department, no one seemed to have weird negative views of men. in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 06:38 AM
3

agreed, i was just talking to someone about how algorithms throw spiteful misandrist stuff at me sometimes on multiple platforms bc they know im a liberal feminist lesbian who interacts with gender wars content lol im quick to hit “not interested” or block ppl for it but it’s probably way more common for women who get that content to not think twice about it. prejudiced bs is certainly not exclusively affecting men
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 06:23 AM
1

nah people have said confidence is key for a long ass time, a lot of people just only respect it when it’s said by men or specifically traditionally masculine men, and it sounds extra juicy to vulnerable bitter guys when “and it’s key because women are insert anything negative” gets tacked onto it. imo there are lots of confounding factors to consider before concluding only the RP is saying this.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 12:57 AM
1

i was tempted to think those in the redpill target audience are pretty vulnerable and i wouldn’t want them to get hate storms thrown their way like rich influencers get, but ig they could’ve always just interviewed them in a way that keeps their identity hidden. maybe they decided against it to keep all energy towards the influencers and avoid “punching down” on the lonely low self esteem types who flock to em
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 12:21 AM
2

think it already did lol link ain’t workin for me
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 07:15 PM
3

if teachers spent more time on girls you’d say boys were being neglected lol what does “feminize” mean to you in this context? do male teachers feminize boys too by spending more time with them? hypothetically what would masculinizing girls look like?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 05:15 PM
5

hey OP love your vibe in these comments, there were a number of weird passive aggressive takes thrown at you and i just appreciate how graceful you’ve been about it 🍻 i’m a lesbian so you could probably guess it’s a no to both Qs for me haha
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 10:23 PM
4

commenting in case this gets a reply
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 07:39 AM
10

is this implying that submissive women in traditional relationships are incapable of leaving or something cuz everything you just described applies to non-egalitarian relationships as well. you’re not connecting the dots for us on how this is uniquely an egalitarian thing, you could argue it’s more likely but your argument seems to be going beyond that, pls clarify if i’m misinterpreting. i’m trying my best to not assume that you’re equating trad relationships with a form of domestic slavery whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 07:35 AM
4

screw that, how it “should be” is what’s best for each individual, if i die before my future wife i’d want her to accept love into her life if it found her again and if she wanted that. i’d feel incredibly narcissistic telling her on my deathbed that i want her to stay alone forever out of respect for our love, that’d be ridiculously selfish of me. people shouldn’t be pressured into finding someone else and they shouldn’t be pressured or shamed out of it. 8 billion people on the planet they shou…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 02:14 PM
6

i made the same realization awhile back and now it’s my fav thing to ask people about when it comes to gendered expectations, the best and healthiest examples of “how to be/treat a man” apply to any adult. some really interesting convos have come from mentioning this to traditional women big on gender roles cuz even if they themselves don’t want it to apply to them they can’t deny that it can apply just fine to plenty of other women. anyway, ‘ppreciate your comment, that’s a point i wish was rec…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:44 AM
1

ik it was a lot but really just mentioned it in case you weren’t aware of certain aspects and found it interesting or useful in any way 🍻 also just personally passionate about that subject yeah i think there’s a correlation given that prejudice is arguably abusive in and of itself, but i’d say there are deeper common denominators at play given the fact that some otherwise decent non-prejudiced people can be pedophiles, especially if they’re blind or in some level of denial of the harm it can cau…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 03:34 AM
2

kids are more vulnerable to the negative effects of abuse, and hardship in general. my dad’s a psych who has had clients who were abused in infancy and toddlerhood, they don’t have conscious memory of it but their bodies and nervous systems do, because their brains are developing at the fastest rate of their life (one example, refusing to teach a child language before they’re 6 or 7 years old, as in they completely miss any language acquisition by that age, that will guaranteed no doubt about it…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 02:44 AM
–

theoretically if they become inhumanly good at finding and deciphering the good info from the slop, but i wouldn’t expect most people to be able to do that and i don’t hold that against them. the zone is flooded and their self worth is being actively implicitly attacked rn
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 01:23 AM
2

on average yeah, loneliness is trending up in general but the data i’ve seen suggests it’s impacting more men. my understanding is that one major factor is that girls and women are socialized to be more social in contrast to men being socialized to show zero vulnerability (birthplace of emotional intimacy) to anyone, those two factors alone contribute to men having smaller and/or less intimate social networks. if im experiencing a hardship i have a decent number of people i can lean on and i fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 07:35 AM
7

i do wanna say that it definitely wasn’t nicer in gaming in my experience lol literally couldn’t use a mic in a cod or gta lobby without at least one guy being an asshole about it, but at least today sometimes they get called out by other guys for being weird
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:19 AM
-1

people really miss how women and minorities get regular trash talk on top of prejudiced trash talk and targeted harassment. no straight white guy is second guessing using their mic or making a gamertag signaling they’re straight or white or a guy out of concern that it’ll bring on extra targeted bs, but it’s the safest bet in the world that tons of minorities actively stay muted and choose generic gamertags for that exact reason. not the end of the world but it would be nice if people didn’t pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:10 AM
2

fr. some people truly cannot empathize outside their own perspective and preferences good lord
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 11:48 PM
1

i think it can, we’ve made a lot of progress already but the path is certainly not linear and the pendulum can swing hard the other way, like i feel it is now. i’d caution pessimism on that bc then it becomes tempted to just accept it and stop challenging it, we should always challenge it just like we should always challenge virgin-shaming
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:43 PM
2

friend what lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:34 PM
5

yeah the “protect women’s sports” crowd would feel a lot more genuine if those weren’t the same people who turn around and shit on wbb players for not being able to dunk and who scoff at the “watch women’s sports” campaign lol ffs our president literally cracked a joke about having to invite our gold-winning women’s hockey team to the WH alongside the men, the misogyny is clear as day coming straight from the top. this has never been about respect for female athletes it’s absolutely about using …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:33 PM
2

thank you, people completely miss the piece about gender dysphoria and how transitioning is the treatment. gender dysphoria is like severe, debilitating cognitive dissonance that wrecks QoL and risks worsening mental health sometimes to the point of suicide, the most successful treatment that we know of to alleviate that life-impairing dissonance is transitioning. most of the time that’s just social transitioning without any medical intervention at all, but even that’s being attacked when school…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 07:15 PM
12

yeah agreed, and anecdotally i’ve only seen a couple examples of women feeling insecure about their male partners having female physicians and i don’t recall that getting support (very possible i missed it and more likely that some people would support it who just didn’t see that take), but i’ve seen a lot more examples of men feeling insecure about their female partners having male physicians and half the time it gets criticized but the other half i’ve seen support along the lines of “yeah it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 11:52 PM
13

he went on to say in a comment that he worries about predatory male gynos, which makes framing it under the heading of “insecurity” a very odd choice to me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 11:48 PM
5

setting my disagreement with OP’s framing aside, this aspect that you described is what i’d say happens to both genders bc i could write a dissertation on all of the industries and marketing that appeals to men’s masculinity and preys on emasculation insecurity (like i remember early redbull commercials leaning heavily on that theme). and vulnerable men get targeted for being vulnerable and insecure, desperation for love = easily manipulated for various benefits. i could buy that women’s insecur…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 11:47 PM
5

god i’m so fkn sorry that sounds like a nightmare. wishing you and your daughter the best
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 08:24 PM
3

nah a lot of people of either gender are pretty good at putting up a front early on, the whole “wait two years before marrying someone” rule is exactly for that issue where it takes seeing how someone lives and manages relationships long term to find out what their biggest issues are. again just to reiterate this isn’t gender exclusive and plenty of guys here have dated women who showed their true colors after awhile. sometimes the red flags are obvious, sometimes they take awhile to show up nat…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 08:22 PM
2

i’ve seen like three different vids of that kinda thing happening, one couple was fucking on a motorcycle lmao people are fkn insane 😂😭
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 03:07 PM
5

slut shaming is definitely not largely driven off to online spaces in my experience, it’s becoming less normal but it’s still common enough that my niece was picking up on slut shaming messages at school before she ever touched the internet (something along the lines of her fav artist taylor swift being called a whore for having so many ex boyfriends). on that alone i’d bet most girls and boys could name two or three slut shaming slurs by the time they reach middle school let alone high school a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 03:05 PM
24

doesn’t need most women he needs the right woman, and there are plenty of women who prefer leading. no need to work on it if it’s not a problem for him and there’s no need to think this is a problem for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 07:05 AM
6

yeah recently i’ve seen an uptick in women who either jokingly or seriously defend women who cheat, but throughout my life the pro-cheater takes were usually by men for men ala “men are too sexual to thrive in monogamy.” usually coupled with “but women aren’t as sexual so they’re sluts if they cheat” pretty sure i’ve seen both of those takes on this sub 🙃
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 11:39 PM
11

agreed, and i wanna shoutout the fact that this isn’t exclusive to men and a lot of women will police other women’s preferences and partners too. that said i appreciate the post cuz i’ve seen a lot of guys here push back against the idea that men socially police each other to a significant degree and shape each others’ behaviors.. like nah peer pressure is not exclusive to one gender either
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 03:43 AM
6

it’s a really interesting topic bc i’d argue it’s both misandrist against men and infantilizing of women. was actually just talking to someone yesterday on whether this double standard is ok, my take will always be no not across the board, like if it’s between helping childless me and helping a father get home to his kids take the dad
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 06:43 PM
3

some women do, most don’t (i assume we agree most men aren’t abusive and most relationships aren’t abusive). i’d argue my flair is relevant to what makes women more likely to be in one group vs the other. particularly for the women who knowingly seek and get with abusers, same with men who do the same
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 03:31 AM
–

100% agreed there’s just no correlation, i appreciate seeing someone i disagree with on the merits of TRP who agrees pushback doesn’t reflect whether it’s true or not. 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 01:34 AM
–

aye sry just seeing this! definitely good to acknowledge my take probably doesn’t apply to every one of the millions who are impacted by this dynamic yeah i’d say yeah but i’d say the same for guys who have healthy self esteem and solid standards, bc i think we live in a word plagued by self esteem issues fr. the people in my life regardless of gender who have the healthiest self esteem date/dated a decent amount but don’t stay with people who’ve got issues like you described, poor self-care, em…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 12:57 AM
2

but that doesn’t matter because we’re equating romance with sex, silly! but not when men do it, that’s totally different
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 12:04 AM
1

“whereas men, while having some sexualized hobbies, have some hobbies that have nothing to do with it” lists examples of classic women’s hobbies that have nothing to do with it “yeah but crochet isn’t popular” lolk would you respect why someone would consider that a goalpost shift away from acknowledging that the first quote in this comment is maybe not a great way to phrase your point if you do in fact acknowledge there are a ton of women’s hobbies that also have nothing to do with sex or roman…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 12:02 AM
1

not to mention cod literally adds attractive female skins all the time one of the most popular buys is a woman in a red dress where you can see her panties when she lays down lol cod guys literally went from bitching about female characters being added to ghost to actively choosing female skins so they can gawk at them. GTA is arguably the biggest game of all time targeted for male gamers and the cover art is a stacked woman in a bikini, meanwhile the most popular games women play are Animal Cro…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 02:39 PM
6

“Whereas men, while having some sexualized hobbies, have some hobbies that have nothing to do with it” yeah wrap it up you’re really gonna sit here and imply that that doesn’t apply to women’s hobbies too? crochet? plant care/gardening? hiking? arts and crafts? playing instruments? believe it or not, sports? fitness? video games from Animal Crossing to COD (btw weird example to imply has 0 sexualization in it have you seen some of the female skins in that game lol)? this post is cherry picked to…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 02:34 PM
3

yeah bingo if the guy really is an asshole
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 07:27 AM
–

yeah big feminist here and i couldn’t handle more than a few lines of that huffpost article, ironically i just got off tiktok where there’s a mini discourse happening over a guy saying men have to take accountability for the harm that happens to women by men, im in like 4 different arguments with people over it lol from a self esteem angle its just not healthy to expect people to take personal accountability for the actions of others let alone strangers, just because you’re part of whatever arbi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 01:21 AM
16

i’d bet my life that the average person who perpetually gets in relationships with neglectful and/or abusive partners has shakey self esteem and an anxiously insecure attachment style. the stereotype is the abused woman who pursues abusive men but this applies to tons of abused men too who pursue abusive women, and gay people who pursue abusive partners. a really simple way to explain this is one of my favorite quotes “we accept the love we think we deserve.” a person with healthy secure self es…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:57 PM
4

felt every word of this 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 10:17 PM
1

lesbian chiming in, both of my major relationships were option 3, my priorities tend to be C > B > A
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 10:15 PM
0

religious/traditional ethics is the worst addiction you could’ve made js
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 06:09 AM
2

nah screw that, cold approaching isn’t inherently pointless, pathetic or otherwise bad (speaking as a lesbian who has been cold approached by guys and who doesn’t like cold approaching women, only mentioning to highlight why theoretically i should have every reason to agree with you) if a guy would be uncomfortable with someone cold approaching his daughter then yeah he’s a hypocrite if he does it to women. but my response to that guy is to stop infantalizing his daughter and get over his own di…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 01:46 AM
47

every ideology that gets immediate resistance and censorship is true? idk if that’s a bullet you wanna bite fam
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 12:06 AM
8

idk how i feel on the main point, just wanted to say on the “menstrual cycles are predictable” point that they’re not always predictable, my periods can happen between 4-7 weeks and once in a blue moon i’ll get an absolutely debilitating one. i actually just had the worst one of my life this week, had me in the fetal position and crying for about an hour til my 4 ibuprofens kicked in 🙃 and that would be considered moderate compared to what some other women experience. really fkn sucks im a lesbi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 02:36 AM
–

is your first comment getting downvoted? 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 02:58 AM
–

“move, white girls, like there’s coke up my ass crack, move, black girls, cuz man fuck it i’ll do either” was the first time i realized this was a thing and my jaw was on the floor i remember thinking “wait how are we all just ok with him saying that” followed by slowly realizing that’s what black women have been dealing with for idk how long. (side note how do you write that kinda shit as a black man then look your black mom in the eye afterwards like is that a compartmentalization thing or) an…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 02:54 AM
-1

women enforce patriarchal values and systems too that point doesn’t actually counter anything here. there are literally women who believe men are superior, should be the only ones running for president, and should be the only ones who get to vote lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 04:26 AM
-1

yeah fr, that’s absolutely not what my feminist self believes nor any feminists i know including academics. if anyone sees a female superiority take even said by a feminist, they should at least know that there are millions of us who would disagree and just call that a misandrist spin on biological essentialism. same with seeing misgynists who spin bio essentialist takes their way and keeping in mind the millions of men who disagree with them
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 04:25 AM
2

agreed, it’s all about a healthy balance, those who acknowledge they want something but will be ok if it doesn’t happen are probably the most likely to manage dating and hook ups satisfyingly. and fwiw i’m not on a high horse here i definitely tilt desperate at times lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 03:56 AM
0

ah can’t agree there, i get why people think penetration is inherently masculine and being penetrated is inherently feminine but those are social values we place on those dynamics, a person doesn’t have to feel emasculated just because they’re being penetrated. i’d argue that’s an especially unhealthy association to make given sexual assaults, anything that implies that a man is less of a man and has lost some of his masculinity because he was forcibly penetrated is, needs to be challenged at ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 04:15 AM
–

yep agreed, i thought for the longest time that they were basically one in the same til a psychologist helped me understand the difference. a great example of people with high confidence and fragile self esteem are narcissists, contrary to popular belief their self esteem only seems high but it’s actually very fragile and easily triggered. they can bave very high confidence and be very good at selling themselves but self esteem issues always rear their ugly heads, like blowing up over any percei…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 04:00 AM
–

agreed baseline self esteem is definitely out of ppl’s control bc it begins to develop very early in toddlerhood, tho i know a psych who has made a living off of helping people raise their self esteem no matter how low it is. including a lot of pro athletes, it’s amazing how self esteem issues can distract and impair performance in so many different ways
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 03:53 AM
–

if my pill is any indication lol agreed that everyone with healthy self esteem is a better option than those without
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 03:50 AM
1

there are also the cringe icks like hygiene and the rude/malicious icks like being a jerk to service staff, but yeah lots of icks are definitely patriarchal/gender role reinforcing. the theme is if it’s feminine it’s bad for men to do, usually from women who base their worth on their own femininity and the comparative masculinity of their partners. definitely not great on several levels. i do disagree that this is a generation specific thing, from what i hear those kinds of icks were even more w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 11:38 PM
–

idk fam i think every guy who has healthy satisfying friendships with women would look at you like you got 6 heads for thinking this.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 08:17 AM
2

if you look for a therapist you’re very likely to get waitlisted by the first couple you reach out to, therapists are generally not starved of clients, there’s been a higher demand than supply for awhile now. ironically the stereotype issue therapists have on a human level is boredom and frustration from clients who aren’t getting better especially if the client is resisting change, therapists tend to prefer referring out and replacing them with a new client who might be a more interesting/feasi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 09:18 PM
2

or hell i’d say shoot your shot even if you can’t tell, bc it’s definitely not always easy to tell, just don’t act betrayed if you get a negative reaction or make it bigger than it needs to be: that person didn’t like your cold approach and it’s okay to move on and try again with someone else. no generalized assumptions about women need to be made based on individuals’ reactions and no negative self appraisal needs to be made every time a rejection happens. that’s my two cents as a lesbian who s…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 06:10 PM
26

it’s not sexual assault to ask someone out jfc yall
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 05:12 PM
8

pill checks out 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 01:18 AM
2

i was never comfortable with being referred to as a member of the fairer sex and i think we’d all be better off if that wasn’t a thing, as with all forms of benevolent sexism big and small
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 11:13 PM
3

wildly hyperbolic to say that given the political reality in the US, Trump won twice partly from appealing to traditional masculine norms and gendered culture wars. some women are dying from lack of access to lifesaving abortion services ffs no people absolutely do not always choose the woman’s side.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 08:37 PM
1

the vast majority of men and women have relationships with each other, they don’t always work out and not everyone gets one but our societal functioning is doing relatively well with each century we forge. what would the average life have to look like for you to buy that we’re a pretty compromising and socially collaborative people? also for what little this anecdote is worth, i studied psychology and come from a family of psychs, none of them nor the handful of professors i asked (in relevance …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 08:34 PM
5

that sounds awesome, cheers to yall 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 08:57 PM
14

in my experience pressure of providership gender roles and emotional suppression are the two biggest examples feminists give when they say “patriarchy hurts men, too.” where i can agree with you is that a ton of women within any school of thought don’t see that pressure and the world would be better off if they did, especially those who exploit that dynamic, and same with the gender reverse. we should all work to rid ourselves of such unhealthy inhumane expectations, gendered expectations are us…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 02:48 AM
5

term annoys me too especially when it gets framed as a minority orientation like being gay or bi, like just don’t lol. adjascent to your point, that little bit about wet dreams was a bit of the opposite for me, i heard all about guys’ wet dreams but was never told that girls could have them too. grew up catholic and pretty much no one talked about women’s sexuality like at tf all. i experienced dozens of wet dreams after puberty and never had the language for it til i saw a woman talk about it t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:02 PM
3

i just did in my main post on here, just saw this comment. i’m more than happy to acknowledge that most abusers were victims of abuse themselves (not to mention how many men seek out abusive women; this is not black and white gendered), hell that aligns with takes on how patriarchal socialization is one way boys get robbed of their full humanity and how it turns too many of them into hurt people who hurt people. i think that also applies to a ton of girls/women who make misandrist takes out of p…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 09:49 PM
4

the convos i’ve seen include generalizations that women are attracted to criminals like serial rapists because there are serial rapists who get fan mail from women. my response will always and forever be that those women are fucked up mentally, be them trauma victims or psychopaths themselves, not dissimilar from the way those criminal men are fucked up mentally. same can be said about less extreme cases of women who seek abusive men (and vice versa, plenty of men seek abusive women, too). i’m c…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 09:38 PM
11

bc traditional gender roles are the foundation of patriarchy, i’ve come to even stop saying “the patriarchy” in favor of “patriarchal values.” i think the best way to phrase it is that traditional gender roles need to stop being treated as the default that we raise most kids to adopt on one level or another. if it eliminates itself naturally in the marketplace of cultures then cool but my goal is just challenging gendered expectations, gendered internalizations, and all the implicit/explicit bia…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 05:37 PM
1

why draw the line at committing crimes? what’s the underlying principle for prescribing mistreatment of others up to the point of illegality? that line can get downright arbitrary in some cases, ig i’m asking why care then just bc a body of government deemed it a crime?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 09:03 AM
3

i’m fine with acknowledging average biological differences between the sexes, that’s not the issue here. do you acknowledge the difference between saying boys at a certain age on average become stronger and faster than girls vs insultingly/negatively saying “you run like a girl”? right so just to clarify, your take is that you haven’t heard it therefore it doesn’t happen, that it’s not possible that you just haven’t noticed when it gets said bc of attention biases or bc kids haven’t said it arou…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 07:12 AM
2

i’m sorry but it’s wild to bring up the beard thing as an example of something significant that’s happening rn and then frame the policing of women’s body hair as a hypothetical. are we on the same page about which is significantly older and more widespread to the point of near-universal normalization? women have been pressured into shaving, waxing, and lasering the majority of their body hair off for a long long time and it’s an expectation that every single girl in this country becomes aware o…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 03:45 PM
5

my niece 3 years ago in 3rd fkn grade asked me “Why do boys say ‘run like a girl’ like it’s a bad thing?” it was not my favorite convo to have with a 9 year old. just because you haven’t heard it (slash noticed it, attention biases are a thing) doesn’t mean millions of girls aren’t hearing things like that every day. it still gets said by peers, it still gets said by adults, it still gets immortalized every time it’s depicted in media. hell the person above you replied justifying it because it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 03:27 PM
3

i can buy that there’s a number of women with an anti-beard agenda that treats beards as shameful as a way to police men’s masculinity in context of your OP, what are your thoughts on hair being seen as masculine and how that has fueled a century+ old and significantly more widespread anti-any-hair-on-women-besides-their-heads agenda? i’d bet my life that by middle school the average girl becomes aware of negative associations between girls/women and having leg hair, armpit hair, upper lip hair,…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:29 AM
0

what do you think an ad hominem is lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:16 AM
2

for what it’s worth i think it’s a safe prediction that most of the things that get called toxic femininity/masculinity are gonna be relabeled along the lines of adherence to traditional patriarchal gender norms. i used to see value in the original label of toxic masculinity bc it felt like an accurate way to categorize things like “boys don’t cry” and “girls are sluts for being sexual while boys are studs” but tons of women, in some cases more often than men, say that shit too, so we call it to…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:09 AM
7

thank you lol (edit no pressure to reply to this ted talk, didn’t know i needed to vent this bad lol) my go-to example is how like 99% of our sex/gender-related cuss words are implicitly or explicitly some kind of “masculine > feminine.” you’ve got the classic misogyny like pussy, whore with like half a dozen variations, bitch/son of a bitch, or bastard/son of a whore, or to your first point just “girl/woman” as an insult to boys/men where the reverse is just not much of a thing, including “take…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 10:44 AM
2

yeah i’ve seen variations of that for years edit just searched “black people are not a monolith” on twitter and found that exact phrase said by tons of black people within the last month alone lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 02:29 AM
3

if i could mention my two cents cuz this is one of those things ive always felt sympathetic about, male members of that race who have a problem with that generalization may not feel like they can speak up because everyone’s just gonna think they have a small dick lol i can’t help but feel for all the guys who don’t live up to that stereotype and then get seen as small even if they’re average, bc the expectations that their date had were inflated. the flip side of a positive generalization is the…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 02:26 AM
1

that’s probably great for maintaining/sharpening your creativity skills tbh, cheers to ya
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 11:51 AM
1

and the majority will also have non-overlap individualized to their preferences and experiences. if that weren’t the case there wouldn’t be hundreds of millions of average men in mutually satisfying relationships. i’d need to see hard data to buy that the majority of women are not and were never attracted to their boyfriends/husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 02:28 PM
1

specifically my take is “it doesn’t affect the self esteem of those with secure-enough self esteem, and the vast majority of people have the potential to heal their self esteem to that level” the need for a partner to the point that it is wrecking your (general “you”) mental health, speaks to unhealthy self esteem. framing it as “cutting off the desire” is like saying treating a symptom will heal the source, that’s backwards and not what i’m saying. i’m saying work on healing the source so your …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 02:18 PM
2

there being a general consensus on Brad Pitt being in the overlap of most women’s venn diagrams doesn’t discount that tons of average guys end up in the non overlap, if what you’re saying is true i’d expect there to be significantly higher dissatisfaction rates amongst couples. average guys get in mutually happy sex-filled marriages, your premises would conclude that those marriages do not exist
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 02:04 PM
2

citations for those specific percentages pls, absolutely does not track with the people i know or the figures ive seen on satisfying sex-filled relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 02:01 PM
2

more than 1% of women are attracted to men under 6 foot, 99% of women will not be automatically attracted to a guy just because he’s over 6 foot. i’d need to see a peer reviewed experiment under those exact parameters to buy that it’s that black and white or that the venn diagram of all 4 billion women is basically a circle.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 01:58 PM
2

that tracks with the venn diagram i described, a lot of women are gonna have significant overlap, a lot won’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 01:56 PM
2

demonizing men’s vulnerability is a recipe for making them hate themselves, yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 08:56 AM
5

there is a world of difference between “women aren’t attracted to a majority of men” and “women are universally attracted to the same minority of men”. i think that’s where people end up talking past each other on this. if you make a venn diagram of men that two women are attracted to, it’s not gonna be a circle like RP often implies, there are gonna be a significant number of men in the non-overlapping areas. 4 billion women on this planet, they’re not all exclusively attracted to the same 20% …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 06:54 AM
1

i just know that plenty of human beings die happy as virgins, i think it’s only rare bc we live in a world that handicaps healthy self esteem and secure attachment at a young age (healthy self esteem is “no matter what im gonna love myself” but we live in a world that conditions that love on things like financial worth and validation from others, to the point where what im saying probably sounds like a completely foreign concept to people, it definitely did for me when i was younger). i’m defini…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 05:05 AM
0

“and dress like it’s 2015 still” aye chill on me man 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 03:22 PM
5

my flair has never been more relevant, self esteem work is some of the toughest psychological work a person can go through (and it’s tough bc the field of psychology isn’t 100% on the same page about how to operationally define it) but it’s life changing and it can be a silver bullet for so many attachment related issues. perfectionistic issues, too, guessing that’s something you already know is a factor for you (if not, fr, you’re holding yourself to perfectionistic standards, that has a cyclic…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 12:04 PM
1

yeah fam she’s got a symmetrical face and a great body that’s not a show without an attractive woman in it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 10:59 AM
1

apologies i don’t understand what you’re asking could you rephrase?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 04:18 AM
1

aye sure! 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 04:15 AM
1

interesting Q, i’d pass on anyone winging for me, for them my instinct is that going to a straight bar and winging for him would be more fruitful cuz you don’t have to check if you’re barking up a gay tree let alone risking making them uncomfortable if you do. i’m not in the “don’t bring straight guys to gay bars” camp but i do respect that gay bars are the only place some queer women can go to find each other without getting approached by straight guys. i don’t think i’d be a smooth enough wing…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 04:15 AM
3

lesbian, roughly 7-8 years, went on a few dates the first year without a spark, lived in a couple areas that had a small lesbian dating pool (i’m talkin “ran out of women to swipe after the 20th profile” small) then just insecure’d my way into isolating til i stumbled upon my last gf as an online turned LDR i can probably empathize more closely with guys who psych themselves out of trying to find someone than with guys who constantly tried and had dozens of dates in a year to no avail. i can als…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 02:02 AM
1

i think it’d be natural to feel negatively about someone stating a harsh opinion of you especially when you were being vulnerable seeking advice. ultimately your own opinion matters as to how much you think their opinion should matter. i would hope someone in the situation you’re describing would ask themself “how accurately can those strangers assess me, let alone that automatically and deeply?” and “how much does their toxicity reflect on me vs themselves?” it’s like a poor person asking for f…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 01:39 AM
1

Dem voters never elected enough pro-choice Dems to codify Roe, that’s why that never happened. and tons of women still criticize them anyway. not to mention codifying it stopped mattering once SCOTUS became 6-3 pro-life, it would have to become a new amendment to have a chance at surviving this court
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 12:34 AM
6

this just sounds like “men are forced into health-draining traditional relationships because they’re afraid of being rejected by women.” this is what is being equated to the permanent health risks that come with pregnancy and childbirth that hundreds of women die from every year.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 12:30 AM
12

it is always a threat to a woman’s permanent health, if not her life itself given that hundreds of women die from childbirth in the US alone. it’s not a standard bodily process like urinating, it’s a permanent bodily change that risks lethal worst case scenarios.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 12:14 AM
4

every single pregnancy brings a risk of permanent damage to one’s health, if not lethal damage. hundreds of women die from childbirth every year in the US. you can never know a person’s true motives, but you can know it’s always a threat to their health, they should always have the option to abort if they want to. women are dying because doctors in pro life states are afraid to give them that option. nothing else really matters to me more than that on this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 12:07 AM
20

i gotta say it’s funny to have just seen this sub revolve around “slut shaming is good, actually” posts for the last week or so just to have a “women who don’t initiate are cowards, actually” post pop up now generally speaking i think there’s both a lack of pressure on women to initiate due to the high supply of interested men relative to the low demand/interest of women, as well as a not-insignificant amount of pressure on women to specifically not initiate because a lot of people see it as inh…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 05:14 AM
1

wow, sampling bias and confirmation bias 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 06:39 AM
–

genuinely, can’t even agree on “to each their own” ig 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 03:03 AM
1

hotness defined by media standards isn’t the point of the thread tho, the point is how media shapes average women’s perceptions of “hot vs average” i mean jesus the fact that we can’t even agree that she’s hot because we’re all so used to drop dead gorgeous women being the standard, only serves the point that it’s really hard to find media with only actually average women in it
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 02:47 AM
1

mah man 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 02:44 AM
1

this is how the thread just went “women wouldn’t be so insecure if they watched healthier media” “well there isn’t a piece of media that doesn’t include an above average looking woman” “fleabag tho” “nah she’s above average attractive” “only when she’s wearing make up” like bruh lol sure yes you won’t find any media where the woman isn’t in make up, that only goes to show the point. a woman who refuses to wear make up isn’t even getting on a fkn commercial lol there are above average beauty stan…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 02:44 AM
1

i mean this part of the thread is literally about how women perceive other women in media lol you don’t have to find her attractive for women to think she’s above average attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 02:39 AM
5

i definitely hear ya on the take that some women surround themselves with the most superficial unhealthy media out there, but its also true that it’s pretty much impossible to find a piece of media that doesn’t have an attractive woman in it. same with attractive men, but that’s why i wouldn’t blame men’s body insecurities on them not watching healthy-enough media. the industry in general tells fat and ugly people that they’re fat and ugly, it’s even in enough kids media that the most body posit…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 12:24 PM
3

the lead actress in that is hot and has a great body i wouldn’t say that’s the best example lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 12:15 PM
3

omg before i googled what death grip syndrome was i was like “damn was his girl doin too many kegels?” 😂😭
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 09:02 AM
0

to each their own, if i had to pick between orgasm-free sex with someone im in love with and orgasms with someone i just like, give me the first one any day cuz that high is on a different planet for me
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 09:00 AM
34

agreed. i’ve always said the same about abortions too, if we ever develop a way to remove and incubate an embryo or fetus without killing it and without permanently damaging the woman’s body, tons of women would choose that option
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 02:49 PM
3

i gotta agree yeah these kinds of deep seated personality features usually form in early childhood and get amplified by adverse environments like bullying or neglect until they solidify in late adolescence/young adulthood. in an ideal world we’d be able to identify those features in kids and get all of them the interventions they need to be healthy self-secure adults, so i definitely have a degree of pity for assholes for the fact that they usually needed help when they were younger. hell as a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 02:21 PM
0

talk about different media circles/algorithms i’ve never even heard of women making fun of prostate cancer to shit on men what’s even the link they’re making? just “lol die, male”?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 11:31 AM
3

expressing your preference is chill, shaming someone for not meeting your preference is the problem. hell i can even refrain from criticizing guys who want to have a high body count and don’t want their life partner to have one, maybe he’ll find a woman who likes that dynamic, too. but it’s all a far cry from slut shaming. same applies to virgin shaming, a woman with a preference against dating a virgin is morally neutral, a woman who shames men for being virgins is a whole other ballgame
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 09:57 AM
–

absolutely a prejudiced generalization up there with every other sexist generalization like “men don’t understand a mother’s love” that’s a sexist generalization that erases any father who feels the same kind of love a mother does. in this case the generalization is calling an entire demographic hypocritical cowards and erases any woman/feminist who has put her life on the line for a man, as if that never happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 09:50 AM
3

do you, fam, sounds like it just boils down to compatibility and that you’d be happier with someone who wants to take that step with you when you’re both into it
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 09:41 AM
7

i’d need to see data on this before i buy anyone’s assessment, feels vulnerable to attention biases from either direction. i don’t notice a gendered pattern on this amongst the people i know
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 09:35 AM
-2

because millions of women are having a sexual encounter with millions of men at any given point of the day lol at least hundreds of millions are in satisfying marriages. women are more selective on average partially out of self protection (risk of pregnancy, risk of slut shaming, higher risk of rape, higher risk of STDs, plus lower likelihood of orgasm compared to men) but leaping to a black and white generalization like that means they don’t like men, is just not based in reality. this whole su…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:19 AM
15

men treat it as a reward all on their own, “still hit tho” is a well known phrase for a reason lol shit that’s a dynamic girls learn young anytime they hear people talk about “what base did he get to” with sex being called a home run 💀 add to it the risks of getting pregnant (which always comes with a risk of permanent health issues if not worse), getting slut-shamed, higher likelihood than men of getting abused or raped, higher likelihood than men of getting an STD, all for the lower likelihood…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 03:51 AM
2

“spend their time freaked out that they’ll be settled for” is not the same as “being settled for” i think your point is totally valid that if you have solid indicators that she’s settling then it’s reasonable and maybe even healthy to feel negatively about it. but i think the person you replied to was talking about paranoia even when there are no strong indicators. ik the line is subjective but we should all at least be able to agree that there’s a point where worrying about being settled for sp…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 01:59 AM
-2

and believing a blatantly prejudiced saying is an axiom doesn’t make it so.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:43 AM
1

pls keep in mind i didn’t comment offering anyone advice, i said that would be a turn off for me and he replied asking me why my own feelings would matter.. to your comment, yeah it definitely doesn’t make it less painful if your (general “you”) self esteem is already shot and you’re resistant to changing mindsets. speaking as someone who also used to have shot self esteem, it’s really hard when you can’t find any way to soothe the sting besides internalizing it as proof of your inadequacies, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:33 AM
1

i don’t think millions of women are flocking to fuck a serial killer. can we talk about that example first? penny for your thoughts pls, what % of women in general do you think would do specifically that? and what % of women in your life do you think would do that, what about them do you think signals that?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:25 AM
1

really i’m suggesting you view them as someone who’s not compatible with you and wouldn’t be right for you, the reason being that she’s an asshole. i can think someone’s an asshole and not feel vengeful towards them, bc at the end of the day that person is either an asshole bc they have a personality disorder or bc life has made them into an asshole. it’s essentially a hurt people hurt people moment, it makes me pity them on some level. “to do nothing about it except for exactly what they want” …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:17 AM
3

“there’s no feminist in a burning building” took me like 5 seconds on google to find several cases of women dying in fires trying to save their husbands, that saying is sexist revenge fantasy bs. it’s like christians saying the even more disrespectful phrase “no atheists in foxholes”
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:35 AM
2

what platform is banning people for calling a woman online cringe lol come on now i gotta see that to believe it. none of this post tracks with my experience online maybe our algorithms are showing us different things cuz i see women get clowned as cringe pretty often. hell, the OG cringe compilations were all about dunking on feminists and the pendulum isn’t swinging feminists’ way any time soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:20 AM
3

yep, attachment theory is a hell of a drug, it applies to so many different human dynamics like those
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 11:10 AM
5

my flair has never been more relevant, straight up the biggest answer imo. go evaluate those women and you’ll probably find insecure attachment styles and insecure self esteem. a lot of ppl’s self esteem is based on conditions of worth like “my worth is in my femininity and the masculinity of my man.” the equivalent for men is “my worth is in my masculinity and the femininity of my woman.” now add to it the implicit internalization/buying-in of toxic standards of masculinity/femininity like “mas…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 11:04 AM
1

but thats essentially like saying “if that person just wasn’t an asshole then they wouldn’t be a bullet to dodge” like yes the red flags are in the asshole behaviors, we should take it as a good thing when they reveal that up front so we’re not wasting our time. the only other option is to take it and hope you can fix her or something and that’s just not healthy here’s where i flip the Q on you: why should the opinion of an asshole matter to us? she’s an asshole, she not only judged a guy for su…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 03:26 AM
4

that doesn’t mean people don’t like to shame women too. there’s a wonderful way to converge these criticisms: don’t issue black and white judgments on people based on patriarchal gender roles and then shame people who don’t meet them. we’re way better off focusing on what’s healthy for people. are you having safe sex because you like sex? cool. are you having risky sex because you’re acting on hypersexual attachment trauma/low self esteem? probably not cool, you’re better off being safer and hea…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 03:19 AM
24

how do you not see how easy this logic can be flipped “if men don’t want women to be sluts they could collectively just not have sex with them until marriage. why don’t women feel pressure to conform to modesty? because men are cake eaters who would rather fuck a women and call them sluts after than exhibit abstinent behaviors to prevent slutism.” personally, i don’t think either of our conclusions follow these premises. the critical response to the sexual double standard is that it’s sexist and…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 02:54 AM
1

this really is the PPDest thread of PPD threads even when you clearly state something a fucked up woman does was fucked up, you can reliably assume at least one or two guys are gonna ironically parrot the most applicable sexist line they’ve heard other women say about men as if you shouldn’t have even spoken up against the fucked up woman in the first place lol such a fascinating sub
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 11:39 AM
2

wait i’m just seeing this reply that’s such a fascinating question, why wouldn’t it matter to you? the better analogy is that it’s like a boss rejecting your application because he thinks you’re ugly or because he’s a shitty boss making shitty assessments and you end up realizing the bullet just dodged itself for you and you are better off finding a job elsewhere 💀 seriously how could someone be openly rude to you like that and you’d still want to be around them? your comment might be saying a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 11:27 AM
1

we’ve gone through several election cycles featuring interviews from conservative women saying they don’t think women should be president, and most people still don’t know internalized misogyny is a thing. makes me wonder how much more depth these kinds of threads on this sub could have if everyone was working off that baseline info
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 03:54 AM
1

i’ve been saying “retroactive reasoning” til you reminded me of the phrase ad hoc lol going with that from here out 😂🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 08:56 AM
6

all this reads to me is “Any woman can be a slut because many men are willing to be sluts therefore it’s ok for men to do it but not women” with an equally subjective side of “Also the 6’5 trust fund chad can’t actually be shamed as a slut because he’d have to work for his match” idk man it sounds like some guys just really don’t like how other guys make it easy for women to get sex if they want it and they’re willing to socially punish women for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 08:54 AM
2

I can agree that this is a culmination of biases that will not completely disappear but that doesn’t mean we can’t continue to challenge them and make even just some people less likely to jump head-first into them. we’ve made a lot of progress with sexist generalizations like we’ve made with racist and homophobic ones, why should we accept a plateau and stop trying now? you don’t have to join in on the effort but you’re also not exactly being neutral if you choose to tell people to just stop car…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:48 AM
2

yeah i’m guessing a lot of people’s perceptions of these issues boils down to attention biases, i’ve definitely seen more cases of men doing average parenting stuff and getting praise not perfectionistic shame, but i’ll also own that i have a bias to notice the former more than the latter. having said that, i’m tempted to think that shaming decent dads is a revenge thing from women who are used to seeing decent or below average dads get overly praised, but i could be wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:38 AM
4

imo it’s only a problem if it’s a symptom of internal issues like low self esteem -> low confidence -> worsened social skills and/or avoidant tendencies. someone who just doesn’t care that much for sex or who’s abstinent for personal principled reasons, or who does want sex but it just hasn’t happened and they don’t let it impact their sense of self, they’re probably all doin fine. i’d say the same for hypersexuality as a symptom of internal issues. ig this is a long winded way of saying “the ‘w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:07 AM
10

yeah the fact that the easy/difficult circumstances rationale doesn’t account for circumstances that make sex incredibly easy for a man to get, like men who end up 6’5 with a chad face and a trust fund, speaks to how it isn’t actually a principled take. it’s a retroactive rationalization for the desired outcome of getting shame-free sex with a woman who thinks you’re special.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 02:42 AM
7

“most men cant” but enough men do and people still don’t slut shame those men like they’d slut shame women for having some hook ups in college and not even getting pregnant. “If a man is sleeping around with a lot of women, chances are a lot of women already like him” and therefore it’s ok for him to do it? if enough women liking a guy means it’s ok for him to go for it, but a lot of guys liking a woman still means it’s not ok for her to do it, then that goes to show that the whole easy/difficul…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 02:37 AM
17

big agree, and i’d like to add a clarification that you probably agree with that the biggest issue with shaming sexual minorities’ and women’s sexual expression is that neither are inherently bad, neither are inherently problematic, it’s entirely possible for a woman to have a lot of sex with a lot of guys in safe ways with no negative consequences same as it is for gay people to exist. healthiness is the key and it distinguishes these healthy expressions of sexuality from unhealthy expressions …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 02:20 AM
5

swing and a miss with me fam go check my main reply to the OP, the first sexist double standards i talked about were ones that negatively affect men. Do you support the sexist double standards against men? Or are you critical of them like I am?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 02:06 AM
14

big agree especially with that first paragraph, people do a lot of easy things in our society that we don’t universally shame people over, people do a lot of hard things that we don’t universally praise. generally we do best when we identify unhealthy behaviors and encourage healthy balance. “You don’t have to always live by a perfect diet just don’t order from McDonalds every day” or “You don’t have to study quantum mechanics to have a good life but it’s good to find a career that will at least…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:27 AM
3

never made sense why people encourage shaming women because men are generally more eager to sleep with them, that’s just a retroactive justification for a desired outcome of women being selective at all costs because it makes men feel more special when they sleep with a woman. the focus is always on that dynamic and never on what is and isn’t healthy for individuals, let alone that gender may not be the deciding factor there. the answer to your Q is the same answer i’d give about sexist double s…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:09 AM
8

🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 12:30 AM
8

the double standard is in the overall social expectation that it’s ok for men to be sexual but not women and that women should be uniquely shamed for it. this isn’t even limited to actual number of partners it applies to women expressing their sexuality at all, and it starts young with girls being more likely to be scolded for getting caught kissing a boy at school or in the rigid policing of what girls wear. seems like your point isn’t that it’s not a double standard but that the double standar…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 12:29 AM
1

my only pushback is against the generalization, i think it’s definitely true that some men are literally incapable of empathizing with women
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 01:02 AM
36

“tell someone who cares” is so shitty that’d be an immediate turn off for me, sorry she was an asshole to ya
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 12:35 AM
9

replace gender with race and it becomes a bit more obvious why judging the majority of a demographic without hard data to justify it, is not great. if your take is that the average woman is not a good person but the average man is, that’s plainly sexist. if you think the average man is also not a good person, then making this about gender is as foolish as making it about race or any other identity qualifier. generally speaking i think we’re better off criticizing bad behavior and being very care…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 12:02 AM
5

we’ve come to the same conclusion for different reasons, i’d say you owe men respect because they’re people, same as owing women respect because they’re people. people deserve respect unless their behaviors warrant a loss of respect, that’s been a pretty chill code for me to live by
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 03:43 AM
5

100% with you, at the end of the day it’s just sexist to judge all men based on the actions of some men. i think the world would be better off if everyone assumed a given strangers deserves basic respect unless that individual proves they don’t, regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 03:38 AM
3

yeah there are a number of risks that are unique to women that i think make it challenging for men to empathize with and understand subsequent passivity or lower interest in hook ups. it’s always a safety risk, it’s always a pregnancy risk (and therefore health/life risk, every pregnancy involves a risk of death), it’s always a social status risk because of how common slut shaming still is and how young women/girls are when they start to internalize it, not unique to women but iirc women have a …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 03:17 AM
6

the women pursuing serial killers are not normal lol they don’t have normal psychologies (my flair has never been more relevant than on this specific topic) and they don’t make up anywhere close to a majority of women, fair to say that that’s a specific subpopulation where this general safety concern explanation does not apply. i think people also need to take into account how much of that comes down to basic exposure, it’s not just bad guys who get attention when they go viral, there have been …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 03:09 AM
–

i mean sure they probably exist lol the vast majority of kids grow up feeling insecure about some aspect of their looks, girls tend to have an even worse self image, but 8 billion people out there yeah there’s probably some who overestimate their looks literally none of my friends or female relatives think they’re attractive, or if they do they feel they have to hide their opinion so they don’t sound conceited. i don’t have any experience with anyone who thinks they’re hot when they’re not, the …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:55 AM
1

i think that speaks to a bit of a misunderstanding of how kinks work, first off the more you try to suppress a kink the higher the likelihood it’ll persist. i think this applies to most aspects of sexuality, like people who are closeted trying their damnedest not to feel same sex attraction but end up jerking their dicks off the gay porn. similarly, setting goals for eliminating a kink can often result in further solidifying a kink i buy that there’s a correlation between the kinks you’re taking…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:02 PM
1

plenty of people will still disown you if you come out as gay, the idea that it’s only a positive today is ridiculously hyperbolic
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 10:22 PM
2

am i taking this too seriously or are you really saying they must all be like that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 10:19 PM
2

yeah curious how lesbians and straight guys fit into this worldview, is this just about saying straight women don’t have special intuition or is this about saying this is mainly a problem for straight women
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 10:17 PM
2

not the fingerprints 😂😭
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 08:27 AM
2

aye i feel ya, and i’ve been there! i’ve struggled with major rejection sensitivity my whole life kit just in romantic ways but in social and professional and academic ways, too. i think i only started becoming more resilient to rejection when i realized rejections by others had translated into me self-rejecting and hating various parts of myself, it’s like one’s self worth becomes conditioned on the approval/acceptance or disapproval/rejection of others. there’s a healthier balance to be found …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 04:15 AM
0

you’re describing a big problem in this young field: human mental health is arguably one of the most complicated subjects we know of bc of how much we still don’t know and how trainings often lack uniformity. i’ve had 2 therapists who were really not great, one had no clue about how to help ADHD clients and even had some cultural competence slips regarding my orientation, the other clearly had self esteem issues and couldn’t help me at all with that stuff. but i also know of incredibly successfu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 11:43 PM
1

“everything you described is what men already do on our own” setting aside that not all men do this and tons of women do it too, yeah that’s why not everyone needs therapy. sometimes people can figure their shit out and function on their own, sometimes friends and family can be the help they need. sometimes their issues aren’t too big to handle on their own. but sometimes they are. if one finds themself having major issues in life then it might suggest that there’s room for improvement in their …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 11:23 PM
0

agreed, i made a similar comment elaborating from a self esteem perspective
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 10:59 PM
0

“it’s basically a reminder of that rejection and that you’re not good enough for her” idk man that sounds like vulnerable self esteem not an innate fact for every person in that situation. it’s entirely possible to still be friends and not experience intrusive reminders of the rejection let alone intrusive thoughts about how it means you’re not good enough. if that were me i would take that as a sign that i need to put more work into securing my self esteem, not accept the thought as proof that …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 10:56 PM
5

yeah i’m willing to bet more than a handful of psychologists would be inclined to agree with you
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 06:09 PM
1

that third paragraph is ridiculous lol i’m sure there are a lot of guys who feel that way and i’m also sure there are a lot of guys who will read that and think yikes. really does feel like you got a semi while writing this, fam, can’t say i’m interested in taking this post seriously
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 06:07 PM
1

in my (attention bias-prone) experience, “it’s not a gender thing” usually gets said when people make hard generalizations. not just “men cheat more” but “men cheat” or “women lack accountability.” i think THAT is the real laziness, slipping into black and white gendered lenses where a given human behavior is explained through gender not any of the other multitudes of human factors that combine to drive one individual to cheat or dodge accountability. i’m big on people acknowledging verifiably g…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 03:03 AM
1

idk my money’s on women with a vendetta against age gaps having just seen that kinda thing be abusive/grooming and they’re not interested in making an exception for the non-abusive types of age gap relationships. a key difference between age gap prejudice and homophobia is that one is correlated with harm or at least risk of harm, homosexuality doesn’t inherently involve the risk of an unhealthy power dynamic. i’d bet the people who take issue with age gaps also take issues with bosses who sleep…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 12:36 AM
2

love this entire reply, couldn’t agree more on how there’s no cheat code answer here and that you’ll never know if an approach is preferred by another individual unless you try, so at that point just try your best. i think that last bit you said is super important too, someone else calling you creepy or inappropriate doesn’t automatically make it true. and hey if you do think you did something that reasonably came off creepy, live and learn. growth oriented mindset + self compassion is what bree…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:07 AM
3

i’d argue being laughed at shamed and worse are all different forms of rejection, people hear that word and think rejection of romantic advances but rejection exists in a million little forms that fuck with our social brains. i absolutely think fear of rejection is all over the place, i think most people deal with it in some form often for life, i see it all over this sub in how much guys care about being perceived negatively. its honestly been the most pleasant surprise for me bc growing up the…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 03:58 AM
3

that’s kinda been my take for awhile now, this is a major individual thing and you can never know what someone’s preference for approaching is so just try something and listen for anything that smells like interest or non interest. that’s been my advice to my fellow lesbians who struggle with this too, extra small dating pool + being socialized as girls to be passive and not offend = lots of queer women who are afraid of rejection to the point where they don’t approach anyone. just recipe for lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 03:34 AM
2

can definitely agree with that, everyone should be taking this sample with a grain of salt if they’re gonna try to generalize it to 4 billion people of the same gender
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 03:29 AM
14

saying this isn’t a gender thing = avoiding accountability that is so peak
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 02:32 AM
6

truer words have never been spoken
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 02:27 AM
5

i’d say yeah it’s absolutely manipulative and cowardly for anyone to do it on purpose. i think most of the time people don’t realize they’re doing it bc they’re not very self aware about their biases. at the end of the day that’s a human problem, it’s sexist to make it a gender thing in either direction just like it would be racist to say it’s a black people problem. people have a major bias to confirm their own worldviews and deny that which challenges them (sometimes this is on an existential …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 02:26 AM
3

*anecdotal, just fyi
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 02:20 AM
–

“i’m not saying this is universal or exclusive to women” i do think some people mean it that way when they say it, most might mean “pattern” like you do but i just think it’s really unhelpful for anyone to make this about gender. running from or denying the need for accountability is a human ego thing, i don’t think it’s helpful for anyone to imply that one gender expresses it more often or more consistently than the other. it’s especially quite the mindfuck to see guys complain about women gett…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 03:54 AM
3

if i were to adopt value based language on this i’d say she was low value for her entire reaction, that isn’t the kind of person you want to pursue or whose opinion you should value imo bc she just doesn’t seem like a mature healthy person inside.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:41 AM
8

100% says more about her than him yeah, and same i’m big on questions of compatibility over questions of value
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:40 AM
2

huge same on that last point, i mean im old enough to remember when those used to consistently be the top comments under any post of any social media site about male statutory rape victims. now it’s more 50/50 if i’m not on twitter lol. f me those people then and still to this day push back against even calling those boys victims bc they think it’s an emasculating thing to say about them 💀 “oh he’s a victim for getting laid” just kill me actually
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 05:18 AM
1

I specified “better Qs” specifically bc i don’t endorse the entire post, mainly just the Q. “everyone accepts the WAW effect” is too hyperbolic for me to constructively engage with, fam, i mean you’re literally replying to someone who’s acknowledging benevolent sexism and arguing against exactly that. the original Q was “do you think it’s a bad thing that women are seen with/expected to have xyz positive characteristics” im saying yes because it reinforces benevolent sexism. (which is a term tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 05:15 AM
–

why should it matter that there are some physical jobs men do best when women can still do most jobs just fine even some blue collar work like welding or plumbing? and especially with automation taking out big chunks of the labor demand in like factory work, agriculture, etc? the original take is against dual incomes because “both are working for the same standard of living” how does it make sense then to cut a house income in half and require women to stay home? if the standard of living is low…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 12:26 AM
3

yeah probably some attention biases involved there
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 07:58 AM
5

well that answers that..
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 07:54 AM
10

i just wrote the words “it’s like people treat these concepts like they have an inherent blue- or pink-ness to them” uhh i’ll be rollin’ with social coloring from here out 😂🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 07:53 AM
4

one of the better Qs asked on this sub imo. i wanna start off by saying i think it’s bad when socially we amplify and exaggerate general sexed trends to the point where we see them as binary and universal. this stereotype is the root of a lot of harmful sexism, the benevolent sexism of giving women the benefit of the doubt when they behave antisocially to shitting on boys who express too much interest in caring interests (dolls) or careers (nursing). quick aside but that latter point is also roo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 07:51 AM
1

🍻🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 05:15 AM
3

yeah it’s neutral not negative for me too. world’s gonna be better off if we can get people from disgusted to indifferent, on gay stuff and lesbian stuff (i’ve gotten negative reactions from kissing my gf around strangers, so fkn annoying) and a lot of unconventional sexuality stuff. edit: it’s ironic actually cuz i know ive had moments seeing straight people be affectionate in normal healthy ways that got a brief disgust reaction from me, never had that reaction to seeing gay guys idt, if i had…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 04:29 AM
1

valid, definitely can’t say i’m free from masochistic allegations with how often i click on posts from this sub lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 04:26 AM
3

my two cents is this is probably better off being framed from a perspective of healthiness and quality of life (maybe i’m reading too deep into your comments but “loser” reinforces the wrong motivations imo). to your point, i buy that there is such a thing as setting oneself up for loneliness and depression and i buy that dropping out of life is too effective at exactly that. i’m big on people being honest with themselves and finding healthy balances with their social life, if you know deep down…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 10:53 PM
10

you frame it like it’s about guarantees when it’s not, it’s just about increased likelihoods. this is the same advice circling around the lesbian community which has an even smaller dating pool and maybe even a bigger problem of self doubt and hesitance to put oneself out there bc girls aren’t socialized to pursue. it’s a raw deal but if you want a date and people aren’t coming to you, you gotta go to the people. it takes some courage and ego strength/thick skin (again very important exposure ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 03:16 AM
1

my apologies for forcing you to be aware of it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 10:02 AM
1

🍻🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 10:01 AM
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i appreciate the acknowledgment of the safety concern, pls trust i didn’t mention it as a gotcha but as a hypothetical that can highlight a way that men can directly empathize with women on unwanted attention. on a side note it’s why i don’t judge men as automatically homophobic for being uncomfortable with getting hit on by other men, i can directly empathize with being uncomfortable with that
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 10:01 AM
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it’s a good parallel for women who aren’t attracted to the man sexually pursuing them. unwanted is unwanted. if you’re uncomfortable with a random guy you’re not attracted to hitting on you and/or not taking no for an answer, you can directly empathize with women who have been in the same situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 09:56 AM
5

idk if you would in a proper hypothetical, i buy that you would love if women did it but the best comparison isn’t a gender flip of women objectifying yall, it’d be bigger men objectifying yall. doesn’t matter that they’re not the category of people you’re not attracted to, the proper scenario would be “bigger/stronger person im not attracted to is openly pursuing me sexually.” it’s one thing to get attention from people you’re open to getting attention from, it’s another thing entirely when you…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:29 PM
6

i thiiiink it’s possible that those are two generally different groups of people but odds are there’s some overlap, happy to acknowledge that’s contradictory and cruel. focus on what you think is healthy, i think people can strike a healthy balance with porn especially porn that doesn’t involve actors so i personally give 0 fucks about chat bot stuff. just try to maintain a healthy balance with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 09:44 AM
5

my answer’s completely gender neutral: emotional regulation/self soothing skills, and financial independence. both are gonna make everyone’s lives easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 04:34 AM
8

🎶 we are chaaaarlie kiiiirk we caaaaarry the flaaaame 🎶
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 03:54 AM
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yup this pretty much covers it. edit also kinda funny that this was the first reply to this automod thread and it’s the only one OP chose to not engage with.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:20 AM
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none of that is incompatible with the self esteem issues that come from anxious attachment styles, not all anxiously attached people will look or sound the same just like how not everyone with shakey self esteem and validation issues looks or sounds the same. you can still bet that the common denominator is self esteem by how willing they are to accept the short end of the stick. it’s no different from the gender reverse of men with low self esteem accepting the short end of the stick when their…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 11:38 PM
6

that’s ultimately what i think is the root in this case yeah. just look at the insults we throw at straight men just for doing something remotely feminine. doesn’t even have to relate to orientation, a boy gets called gay if the shirt he’s wearing looks pink not salmon, it’s one of the most consistent social patterns out there. it’s like there’s a one drop rule for femininity undermining manhood, i mean we don’t even have a feminine equivalent for the concept of emasculation. and that prejudice …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 10:35 PM
0

and if you wanna add another complicated layer to it, the reason gay men get hated and socially rejected is bc a man being gay is seen as feminine and incompatible with manhood (also applies to a ton of straight women who won’t touch a bi guy who says he’s watched gay porn before). they hate gay men because they hate men who are like women, that tracks with all of our insults for them being centered around femininity (“fruity”) or feminine roles (“getting fucked” vs “fucking”) i can speak to it …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 10:26 PM
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i don’t see it through gendered lenses i cringe at anyone who settles for taking the short end of the stick time and time again, just doesn’t speak to healthy self esteem or attachment. but im more sympathetic than judgemental about it honestly, thats an attachment pattern that’s usually established in early childhood and takes a lot of awareness and effort to break out of. i haven’t experienced a childhood like that so i can’t say i’d be resilient enough to overcome it if it were me, the psycho…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 11:38 PM
6

fr it seems like very few people are even aware that pregnancy today in the us does get women killed sometimes. it as a direct threat to one’s life, if not to their permanent physical health. we consider them edge cases not worth acknowledging as if it’s not an inherent risk every time
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 11:21 PM
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reposting bc i forgot debate posts require regular comments to disagree my feminism is on board with removing gendered expectations from everyone, this particular norm puts unhealthy pressure and risk of harm on men and shame if they fail and it treats women like powerless children in need of guidance to the point where many women believe it’s true, disempowering them. i fully agree with especially your last paragraph, ive said for years that such expectations should be based on individual skill…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 05:54 AM
3

i also wonder how much it has to do with the fact that lesbians are the smallest subpopulation amongst the orientations at like 2%, bi women bump it up to 5 or 6% i think? (will call them collectively WLW “women loving women”). i remember when i lived in missouri i maybe swiped on 20 women before i got the “no more women in your area, try expanding your range” mind you my range was 50 miles 😂😭 gay/bi men (MLM for short) also have similarly small numbers i think they’re between 5-10% but they are…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 02:47 AM
2

thank you. commenting in case this turns into an interesting back and forth.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 02:25 AM
6

side note i just appreciate when posts like this acknowledge that analyzing lesbians (and gay people in general) can offer interesting perspectives and insights on gender dynamics that relate to straight people. i remember the first few times i mentioned in that^ spirit that i was a lesbian to a couple people here and was told that gay people and related subjects are too different to make any insights whatsoever related to straight people like we were a completely different subspecies of men and…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 02:21 AM
0

except for every christian i’ve met who says god’s love is unconditional lol was that hyperbole im taking too literally?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 12:11 PM
1

right so we seem to disagree on whether it is conditional or unconditional love to send an atheist to hell for being unable to convince themself that god is real. are you open to the possibility that it’s contradictory to call that unconditional love or are you not open to that? or if i’ve misunderstood your contention, please elaborate, such as if you don’t think god has unconditional love and that his love is conditioned on whether we sin or not
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 12:10 PM
1

that contradicts every study on this tho, undocumented immigrants are specifically less likely to commit crimes, specifically bc they know it puts them at a higher risk of being deported. “they all commit welfare fraud” citation needed are you being hyperbolic or dead serious rn lol jfc i have! news flash crime is associated with poverty! that’s not an undocumented immigrant phenomenon, you have completely misidentified the common denominator there and have displaced your anger at it. also love …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 11:59 AM
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even granting what you said, that’s a separate point from the original post basically saying “people aren’t ok with men having racist dating preferences but they think it’s ok when women do.” is there any solid data on that? anything concrete to suggest this is exclusively acceptable for women but not men? anecdotally that has not been my experience at all, not even saying there aren’t sexist individuals who feels that way but i’m willing to bet there are also people who feel the opposite and th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 11:52 AM
0

i’d say feminism *revealed the side of women that patriarchal values deemed masculine and incompatible with being a woman. what you’re describing are forms of benevolent sexism, generally defined as attitudes and behaviors toward women that seem or are intended to be positive but ultimately uphold sexist views of people. it’s almost always rooted in biological essentialist beliefs that damn near treat men and women as different subspecies (when i’m willing to bet the average psychologist wouldn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 09:08 AM
6

that’s a really uncharitable takeaway lol nothing about his comment seemed like he didn’t want to talk to women just bc he wanted to direct this particular thread about men, he’s literally just saying he thinks women here don’t need to have this told to them as much as men and that’s why he’s focusing on men here. that’s not unreasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 12:48 PM
2

literally no where did she say that, you jumped to “isolated incident” bc she said that’s not universal nor universally accepted nor universally condemned for men. i agree with her that this is not reflective of women in general. there are tons of men who also have racial biases/exclusive racial “preferences” in dating, and i’ve never seen someone say that’s only ok for women to do. i’d want to see data to suggest that that sexist double standard is common, i’d bet the vast majority of people wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 10:12 AM
2

i went to a private christian university, ask me how i know that christians will abso-fkn-lutely steal your bike lol and undocumented immigrants are less likely to commit crimes in general compared to citizens bc they’re afraid of getting found and deported, research consistently contradicts that talking point
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 05:07 AM
1

white racists vs brown people? is that the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 05:02 AM
0

where’s that person who always points out how many people on this sub conflate “feminists” with “women” holy hell
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:59 AM
3

man i’m happy for you that you were able to get one when you did!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 01:04 AM
23

i had a sunday school teacher tell us it was basically a christian thing, the idea that god loves us unconditionally and we should do the same. never mind that he’ll send you to hell if you’re gay or don’t believe in him lol edit: google says a 1930s psychoanalyst coined the phrase, bout to rabbit hole my way into seeing what his deal was
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 04:27 AM
3

agreed, i think this is one of the earliest sources for self esteem issues in people, too. there’s no quicker way to be the odd kid out than to defy gender norms. i can speak to that as someone who was a tomboy, and even then i think i was better off than any of the boys who dared to express a drop of what anyone might call femininity. i got a looot of shit growing up but the silver lining for me was always kinda “at least you’re weird in a masculine way,” masculine-weird at least included likin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 04:10 AM
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the common denominator there isn’t having a lot of sexual experiences tho, that’s a correlation with a deeper causation. we gotta acknowledge that women can have a ton of sexual experiences (how are we defining that, anyway?) for healthy and unhealthy reasons. i think you’re talking about the latter group and assuming the issues come from being a woman who has sex with *a lot of men. but in the cases of the unhealthy women im talking about, that sex is a symptom not the cause the stereotypical c…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 04:14 AM
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it’s women not taking accountability to sympathize with people who internalize insecurities based on sexist socialization? even sympathizing with men’s insecurities? this is what we mean when we say yall don’t know what that word means 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 03:50 AM
26

least we agree patriarchy exists lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 01:09 AM
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i place a lot of blame at the hands of our society’s sexual double standard in making girls and women feel insecure about losing value from having sex. i mean fr i don’t know any girl who wasn’t aware by 7th or 8th of some “lock vs key” or “used gum” analogy. i can imagine a hypothetical woman who has never been exposed to that messaging who doesn’t feel used by casual sex and doesn’t take self esteem hits from relationship rejection from men. that insecurity is as widespread as the value of slu…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 03:17 AM
1

i say to fellow feminists all the time that i think the discourse would benefit greatly from everyone recognizing that patriarchal societies exist on a spectrum, a society doesn’t have to be Afghanistan level to be considered patriarchal, having a culture that values patriarchal gender norms/roles falls on that spectrum. that includes things like having a prejudice against women being the head of the family or serving in high ranking positions (or outside the home at all @ harrison butker), or a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 10:26 PM
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what hesitation she literally called it a form of rape lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 06:58 AM
2

“men can’t be feminists” can’t even begin to tell you how much this one pisses me off, such a stark showing of how their feminism is based on very different principles from mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 03:31 AM
1

less pls god, i’m so grateful i never got into make up cuz every single woman i know feels ugly if they don’t wear it. they think their natural faces look ugly without make up, it’s insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 06:55 AM
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i like a lot of the points you’ve made. if i could go to bat for a sec for those mundane-trauma guys you’re talking about, i think what you’re really describing is what happens when self esteem is tanked and conditions of worth are internalized i wouldn’t say the trauma is “my first love cheated on me” it’s subconsciously “rejection reminds me that i’m unworthy of being loved and i can’t love/soothe myself so i must be inherently unloveable.” it’s the kind of mindset kids start developing very y…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 01:36 AM
5

on the contrary there are feminists who have been calling this out as part of “the sexual double standard” for decades as a byproduct of patriarchal gender roles/norms. the sexual double standard refers to the innate sexism in shaming women for being sexual while praising men for doing the same, and in shaming men for not being sexual while praising women for doing the same. anyone upholding these double standards is also inherently upholding patriarchal values. and i just gotta say, i’ve seen a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 11:36 AM
1

you can’t control how people treat you, and there is such a thing as caring too much about what others think, and caring for the wrong reason. if a low self esteem guy is stuck on the fact that a woman shamed him for being short or his male coworkers tease him for being inexperienced, the solution isn’t to change himself to seek their approval, the solution is to recognize that they’re all assholes, to find a way to stop desiring the approval of assholes, and to value his view of himself over ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 11:08 PM
3

tbf i think the idea is that this is happening on a subconscious level said men aren’t aware of, at least that’s what i would argue. not too dissimilar from women who subconsciously take cues from their female friends on potential boyfriends, but somewhat dissimilar in the sense that men do often buy into hierarchical social comparisons more often than women (like how men are more likely to notice the biggest guy in the room and size each other up than women are) where i disagree with the commen…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 10:51 PM
1

not status, that’s still secondary to the self esteem/self loathing factor he’s getting at, it usually begins in childhood and lasts a lifetime. doesn’t help that the english language is still in its infancy in accurately labeling the complex emotions involved with self esteem bc even self loathing doesn’t feel like it properly captures it either
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 10:32 PM
1

fascinating reply, i view them with a lot more sympathy tbh. this subject is basically why i made my flair what it is, bc i think healthy self esteem can be the silver bullet for resilience/QoL and low self esteem/conditions of worth like “my worth is dependent on how much sex (people think) i have” can break a person. i think on some level everyone internalizes unhealthy conditions of worth bc we live in a society that drills those conditions into people by the time they’re like 5 years old fr.…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 10:23 PM
1

yeah those get conflated way too quickly way too often on this sub unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 10:11 PM
3

Is your take that all feminists are like that? If so, I’m a feminist who doesn’t believe in “real men” as a thing or that sexual activity gives men worth. AMA.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 10:10 PM
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i hope they do at least on a personal level gd
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 05:00 AM
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yeah yet another reason i’m in favor of us de-gendering these concepts and criticism of those who lack it. i’m sure there are far (far far faaar) bigger common denominators for what makes an individual good or bad at holding themselves accountable than what gender they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 12:00 AM
2

your last sentence is interesting to me, i consistently see women emphasizing that men’s friendships are sparse in number and quality on average compared to women’s and that the “men’s loneliness epidemic” can be combatted by working on friendships. you really don’t ever see those takes?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 01:20 AM
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i won’t necessarily actively pretend to be a guy but i’ve definitely had moments where i avoided signaling im a woman bc i had a strong suspicion my opinion would be invalidated otherwise. i actually just did this yesterday in a twitter convo on my fav football team, thought about doing my usual shrug emoji but didn’t want the convo to become about me having xyz opinion on a hypermasculine sport bc im a woman
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 12:41 AM
3

i would agree with this as a prescription but certainly not a description, their dating pool isn’t that big when you consider how many people explicitly refuse to date bi people, especially bi men. but hell even bi women experience a stigma from gay women, it’s very normalized for lesbians to say they won’t date a bi woman, and that’s so depressing for bi women who are mostly attracted to women. in theory their dating pool seems like it would be the biggest but that’s just not the case, certainl…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:59 PM
8

yeah solid point that not all forms of bisexuality are treated the same, namely male vs female bisexuality. very fucked how bi men are judged as inherently feminine and also that men being seen as feminine is judged as a bad thing, i’ve had a number of talks with my friends who shat on bi guys about why they do it and how it seems linked to fucked up views of femininity, and seems like a sign of insecurity in oneself (along the lines of “i need a man who’s super masculine or else i wont feel fem…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:54 PM
5

commenting in case OP replies to this one, that first paragraph is a solid summary.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:32 PM
3

i mean redpillers coined and framed this dichotomy lol i wouldn’t identify with this term if it wasn’t essentially assigned to everyone who doesn’t agree with redpill shit. it’s kinda like how black people coined “woke” except there was never a popular term for “not-woke” and even if there was, the other side wouldn’t play ball with it like “blue pillers” are willing to do for this analogy. i identify as a liberal feminist, they consider that blue pill, so that’s what i am by default in these sp…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:24 PM
3

i wonder how much of this convo can be aided by emphasizing that this can happen on an implicit/subconscious level? i think that’s the most common form of it, that the person (man or woman, gay or straight) doing it often doesn’t realize they’ve got objectifying priorities in such an interaction. i think this also mostly explains why most of such people deny it, not just bc they’re aware of the bad optics but bc they’re not aware that it could possibly be true let alone is true. and on the flip …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:14 PM
0

friend what exactly do you think i’m arguing here lol jfc it does not seem like you’re comprehending my take if you think i’m in disagreement with the two statements you’ve made to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 12:26 AM
1

that’s the case with my gf too, big fan of it and doesn’t have a history with bathroom insecurity, tho we’re both people who dislike doing it in public haha. i wish it never occurred to me to care, im jealous of you 😂🍻 i was thinking about that too cuz like on its face those kinds of kinks do feel like they’d accompany someee level of insecurity or shame, hard for me to imagine that’s not the case yeah. i wonder if maybe there’s a threshold for insecurity levels and having a little bit of one op…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 11:57 PM
2

it’s just a sub rule thing, but they allow you to share takes that agree with OP debate posts as a reply to the automod comment that’s under ever post, same as blue/red pill takes on “question for red/blue pill” posts
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 09:43 AM
4

i have noticed an interesting trend (anecdotally amongst myself and my friends/gf) in how insecurities seem linked with what people aren’t into. like for myself and those i know who have disclosed to me that they don’t like anal, we all have some kind of childhood experience with bathroom insecurity/shame, for me i think it’s partly bc my family never talked about anything like that so it never felt normal to talk about ever + a middle school experience where i had constipation issues and got so…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 05:58 AM
2

yes but not all preferences are equally non-problematic, someone is prejudiced if a white person says they don’t date black people, and similarly straight women are prejudiced if they not only don’t date people who cry at their parent’s funeral but actively shit on them. same as, from my wheelhouse, lesbian femmes/gay men who say they don’t date masc lesbians/gay men who cry for any reason. there’s a line to be drawn somewhere between prejudiced and not-prejudiced
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 12:23 AM
1

what’s one you agree with? they all seem like sexist generalizations to me
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 09:39 PM
2

i’d push back on this as a feminist myself, my go-to example is a person having a disgust for men who express healthy vulnerability like crying during Schindler’s List, likely bc that person has a weird negative association between any kind of vulnerability and femininity. it’s one thing to prefer more stoic men, it’s another to shit on men who aren’t as stoic. it goes hand in hand with the shitter also saying “men like that are insert misogynistic/homophobic/anti-feminine slur here.” i think th…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 09:32 PM
3

nah they’re all negative sexist generalizations, i’d argue a number of em are even implicitly misogynistic and pejorative about the idea of men seeming feminine like that’s a bad thing. it’s not hard to imagine women saying that also saying “men like that are insert misogynistic or homophobic slur here.” edit, if you’ll allow me to tack on my thoughts to your “compatibility” comment, there’s a difference between having a preference for traditionally masculine traits/behaviors in a partner and ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 09:20 PM
3

given that “what are your sources” won’t play with you and “look around/trust me bro” won’t work with me, i’m more than happy to mutually reject one another’s assumptions given a lack of concrete evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:47 PM
1

i’ve been a rap and rock fan my entire life, how many counter examples do you want lol there aren’t even masculine/misandrist equivalents for most of the misogynistic cuss words/slurs you can find all over our society let alone the music industry. is this you admitting you don’t have anything besides anecdotes to support your take? do you deny the possibility that you may have a confirmation/attention bias to notice misandrist lyrics and not notice misogynistic ones?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:18 PM
1

i’d need to see quantifiable data on this to buy that ratio. for every anti-man song i can think of, i can also think of an anti-woman song, for every woman-loving song i can think of, i can think of a man-loving song. i think individuals are heavily prone to confirmation and attention biases on this one so i wouldn’t make confident generalizations either way without seeing solid data on it
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:04 PM
6

i appreciate you for this bc that particular fact has been an absolute mindfuck for me since i first heard the word as a kid lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 06:59 PM
5

would you agree that they’re two big figures in the manosphere and there may be millions of men who agree with them? also as an example of how predatory rage bait algorithms can be, when i see manosphere guys talk about cheating it’s usually with this sexist double standard and i have to actively remind myself that my algorithm just isn’t showing me more moderate manosphere content more akin to your worldview. truly i can’t implore you enough to keep that dynamic in mind when it comes to misandr…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 06:46 PM
1

do you consider Andrew Tate and Myron Gaines two of the big manosphere guys? i’d consider them to be the two biggest if not two of the biggest, and they both explicitly argue that it’s ok and natural for men to cheat but not for women, it’s one of their most blatant sexist double standards. before you ask, i disagree with every point, they all seem like the misandrist equivalent of everything i’ve ever heard Tate and Gaines say. and if your social media feeds are full of those misandrist takes, …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 06:05 PM
7

do you think that applies to the average woman? i think that applies to a minority of women, i buy that losers are not comparable to mass murderers in the eyes of that minority of women, not in the eyes of women in general. as evidenced by how many of us know loser guys who still manage to attract women and have children with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 11:03 AM
3

aye just saw this, same, i definitely don’t disagree. i was just addressing the take that autistic girls get a significant pass compared to autistic boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 10:02 AM
3

idt you realize how this reads to anyone who knows anyone well-adjusted who was raised by a single parent. really goes to show how bad people can be at analyzing likelihoods without slipping into black and white thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 03:18 AM
5

that’s a ridiculous conflation, not every single parent household is a broken home. I’m friends with someone who works for the FBI, very successful and well-adjusted, was raised by a single mom who’s a successful psychologist who owned a home in a decent neighborhood and put her kid through private schools and college all on her own. they lived in a properly stable home and they’d roll their eyes at any ignorant suggestion that that somehow wasn’t possible. single parent households have a higher…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 03:05 AM
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uhh bc it’s almost exclusively used as criticism or an insult and not positively at all lol it’s a bad thing according to the people who say it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 10:43 AM
8

thank you for the reminder to keep smiling at strangers, glad you had that moment 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 07:36 AM
2

it absolutely can, i don’t think yall realize how uninformed this sounds to people who have benefited from it, especially those whose lives were saved by it. it’s not a one size fits all but you’re just throwing the baby out with the bathwater when you negatively generalize it that hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 08:31 PM
2

google the sexual double standard, this is one of the most classic examples of cultural sexism there is
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 10:16 AM
–

i know a sport psychologist who works with college and pro athletes, was a former college player himself, he would roll his eyes at the suggestion that only women uphold patriarchal norms and values. those are overwhelmingly held up by men in his circles. women absolutely do it too but why do we have to be so fkn black and white about this shit, do you honestly stand by saying men never “follow” patriarchy? really?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 01:05 AM
2

definitely a hot take, that doesn’t describe my years under my mom’s roof or my two fellow childless female friends who have lived with their parents through their late 20s. my money is on personal incompatibilities being the common denominator for conflicts like you described not gender dynamics, but maybe my social circle is the odd one out.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 11:07 AM
–

if it does it’s beyond my awareness, i buy that humans didn’t evolve to properly manage the information access we have now and that’s probably impacting me but i can’t say i feel the impact.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 01:04 AM
7

ironically that’s how i’d describe my guy friends’ friendships, they tend to fit the stereotype of being friends out of shared hobbies not out of emotional closeness and leaning on each other when shit gets hard. i know one wholesome guy friendship like that tho, love em
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 01:12 AM
–

and you don’t think this facet of your personality is one of the primary factors that isn’t attracting women? you may have a low ceiling for “bottom up” experiential empathy, that i buy is something that either is or isn’t in someone, but you can still work on “top down” cognitive empathy in cognitively understanding what others may be going through without feeling it on a sensory level
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 09:58 PM
–

eh, that normalizing bias could go the opposite way too tho, if someone has been with a handful of average sized guys and then gets with a big sized guy, i don’t think it’s likely that they’ll all of a sudden automatically assume the big guy is the average. i could see that happening with someone who’s been with a lot of big guys or who spends too much time watching porn/consuming media that somehow talks about big dicks a lot, but not just anyone who has been with both. there are a lot of facto…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 04:15 AM
–

sums up a lot of takes/worldviews on this sub
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 01:21 PM
1

i’ve had some great interactions on here but yeah it hasn’t exactly been the norm
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:29 PM
0

really well said
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 11:01 PM
13

yeah my gf’s autistic, ask her how kind people of either gender were to her from middle school to now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 10:55 PM
–

what article is saying most women don’t orgasm or most women fake it? i’ve heard most women don’t orgasm from penetration alone and most women have faked at least one in their lifetime, i have not heard any serious source suggest that most women don’t orgasm or most women are serial fakers. let alone the implication that there are anywhere close to as many women who have involuntary orgasms during sexual assault. edit refreshed and saw your list of articles, they all track with what i’ve said.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 05:39 AM
–

you’re confusing “it’s ok that this happens, it happens sometimes” with “this is what normally happens.” i’d need to see data to buy that a majority of non consensual interactions result in orgasms. i’d bet my life that applies to a minority of assault victims, and the entire reason people say anything along the lines of “it’s normal” is so they don’t feel completely awful for it. also betting my life that the average person you see saying “normal” means it the same way people who say “being gay…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 05:36 AM
5

as a lesbian lol i agree, that generalization is true for some women but not enough to ring true in my experience, especially for those who have aaaany kind of shame response to sexuality stuff, like if they were raised to be conscious of seeming slutty, for some women that can make them avoid giving signals. you’ll find lots of posts related to your point on any lesbian sub
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 07:41 PM
2

that’s a staple in the lesbian community! i’d side eye any straight woman who judges a guy for suggesting that
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 02:54 AM
3

OP just add all this to the end of my answer lol perfect comment i hope to see all of this in future sex ed classes someday
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 08:37 AM
2

i like this sub bc of random interesting questions like this lol my answer is honestly that i probably could have done with it happening earlier than 7th grade. i was being miseducated about sex by peers and media for yearssss before formal education said we were old enough to learn about it lol i think having some elementary/early middle school version of basic sex ed with age appropriate language/vagueness, especially anything to help counter implicit messages in porn, would have helped immens…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 08:27 AM
2

some women have vaginal pain from average sizes, my ex gf needed a small strap to enjoy anything, if she was straight she def couldn’t have sex with an average sized guy. and that’s just women with pain, then there are women with a dom fetish for it. i mean hell man 4 billion women on the planet, how much money would you honestly bet that none of them prefer small?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 12:49 AM
2

nah i honestly believe if women didn’t care that wouldn’t stop all the dick measuring contests or the small dick jokes men say to each other, anecdotally i they’ve usually been the ones ive heard throughout my life talking about dick size. men can and do associate size with sexual success/value all on their own, if women said they didn’t care and acted like they didn’t care men would say they’re liars who secretly do, hell a lot of men already don’t believe women today who say they personally do…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 12:43 AM
12

you really honest to god can’t think of any good faith reasons why women wanna would be here?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:42 PM
–

what you described is true of some women but not others, a lot of women are repulsed by healthy expressions of vulnerability, bell hooks even owned up to being one of them. there are women who have admitted to feeling less attracted to their boyfriends/husbands for crying at all even in normal scenarios, too many to generalize women either way imo
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 06:27 AM
1

it was something boys and girls at my middle and high school did, i was on the shitty receiving end of that gossip by a group of guys in my class and ended up thinking it was normal for everyone to do it. especially bc there are a decent number of portrayals of it in media. then i went to college and asked a close friend about her bf’s bedroom skills and she rightly looked at me like i had 6 heads lol she had never been asked before and didn’t know that was a thing people do. it was really eye o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 03:36 AM
11

to your point, my thought on this post is that there’s another factor that gets missed in all this, i’m willing to bet there’s a correlation between being raised in cultures or communities that are big on the sexual double standard and becoming an adult who feels like they can only be the pursued not the pursuer, sometimes even on a subconscious level. i think a lot of people, including women, underestimate the psychological effects of girls being exposed to slut shaming takes from very young ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 05:09 PM
1

that Susan Brownmiller bit is the kind of info i’ve been looking for for years bc that whole “it’s not about sex it’s about power” bit has bothered me ever since i heard it. looking forward to searching this up and digging deeper into it. thank you for sharing all your thoughts, wishing you the best 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 04:59 PM
–

i’m ngl fam i don’t see how that relates to what i said 😅 but i can agree with being anti exploitation and anti shaming
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 03:17 AM
–

shame is fucked but telling people to find ways to grow isn’t inherently shaming, assuming so speaks to fixed mindset shit and it’s a detriment to necessary growth. healthy self esteem involves having self compassion to know your flaws and areas for growth are human and aren’t shameful, and it involves having self discipline to push yourself. in my experience, both halves of that can be incredibly difficult for people. honestly this view on self esteem kinda harkens to the serenity prayer in AA,…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 12:36 AM
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that’s not rating oneself that’s rating others’ looks, iirc there were some studies from like a decade ago that suggested men rate themselves a bit higher than women rate themselves, but i saw a more recent study showing people rate their own looks pretty accurately/in-line with how others rate their looks, regardless of gender
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 12:24 AM
–

every time every woman says that? i can buy a certain subset of women feeling reluctant about it but you think every single woman on the planet feels that way? even women who tell you here directly that they think consent is sexy? that just smells like personal bias to not want to accept that some women really do prefer explicit consent
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:37 PM
1

oh i wasn’t arguing that it did i was answering your main Q and then giving my existential two cents on what i thought was your expression of skepticism. i’m definitely not interested in challenging your belief in god if you’re understandably not interested in that, i meant it like “hey we might have some commonality there and here are the Qs i have” but consider that a misread on my part.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:25 PM
1

yes, i’m a feminist your last paragraph jumps out at me, your concern is why god thrusts singledom upon you (i empathize, i gained good perspective the first time i heard the stat of how many men in history died without ever pairing up), my main concern was always why god thrusts average physical inferiority upon women/many females in the animal kingdom. starting at a very young age we generally can no longer compete and defend ourselves from our male peers and that resulted in us being brutally…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:11 PM
7

wait the most common forms of BDSM i’ve heard of are like, handcuffs to beds and rope around your body, not all or even most BDSM results in intentional injury. i think it’s totally fair to consider it unhealthy to like burn or bruise your skin cuz that’s straight up self harm but people who just like handcuff sex aren’t regularly going to the hospital, not all forms of BDSM should be conflated like that bc some (maybe most but i’d have to phone a friend to know that lol) are perfectly harmless …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:55 AM
4

you can’t find women who talk about consent in a positive sexy way fr? algorithms are so fascinating, that’s probably the most common sexual thing i see talked about by women online, “consent is sexy” is a whole motto, hell the more recent line of discourse is that consent isn’t even enough and that enthusiastic consent should be everyone’s goal. but i’m not gonna act like ive never heard of women who don’t think it’s sexy (it does seem like either your algorithms are showing you only a certain …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:48 AM
2

oh wow thanks for sharing i can already tell that’s gonna be a wild rabbit hole i’m checking out sometime lol sex psychology fascinates me, ik that’s not specific to sexuality stuff but that’s gotta be what’s behind race play and cnc stuff
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:40 AM
1

i once sexted with a black woman who wanted me to call her slurs 💀 and that’s the day i learned about a kink called race play lol. google that at your own risk but that’s the even more applicable example, ig you could consider it a kinky form of reclaiming slurs/prejudice idfk
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:38 AM
8

i mean i can imagine the consent and control elements are what do it, in CNC you’d have an element of control in vetting who you do it with and what is and isn’t ok. the real thing is so unbelievably dangerous and terrifying like my bff didn’t try to fight her assailant bc she was scared she would piss him off and he’d kill her.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:32 AM
–

so why does that logic not fly out the window with women who are infertile? if it’s about capacity of reproduction this would only apply to fertile women, but we apply it to every woman regardless of that. and anecdotally i’ve yet to hear anyone say that’s the reason we shouldn’t hit women, it’s always a lack of self defense thing, is your take that that’s a conscious rationalization of an implicit belief in reproductive value? i don’t think it’s different, i think you just copped out hard on en…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 09:43 PM
3

lost the plot
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 09:34 PM
8

the only thought i have on that point is that soooometimes specific attractions are rooted in weird implicit attitudes/biases, like an obvious example is how many people who have a preference against dating a certain race almost always have some weird underlying attitudes about said race. another example is how a lot of women who have a thing against dating bi men, even bi men who don’t sleep with guys they just like gay porn sometimes, usually have some weird attitudes associating bi men with f…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 09:30 PM
2

never heard that a day in my life lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 05:47 PM
2

well said
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 07:46 PM
3

only my second comment mentioned you personally yet you took both personally, that’s the potentially insecure reflex I’m calling out. i was discussing ideas by initially talking generally about the avoidant explanation, i’ll remove you from my last Q and ask, do you think it’s possible it’s generally an avoidant/insecure attachment thing for people to have a preference against intimate high attachment relationships? how far do you extend the assumption that it’s not, what were your thoughts on m…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 07:40 PM
2

wait but it’s considered embarrassing for men to get beat up by women even if they’re physically stronger, it not being socially acceptable to hit strong women still tracks with a patriarchal/implicitly patriarchal worldview that also humiliates men for being beat up by those strong women. under that worldview, women as a category are irrationally viewed as incapable of self defense against a man, even when they are. some silly takes i’ve heard propping that up include that physical strength and…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 07:23 PM
-2

how did you try to head that response off lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 05:58 PM
-1

my response isn’t i don’t believe that, it’s that those women almost certainly have issues and aren’t the kind of women any of yall should desire lol i’m betting my life none of those women have healthy self esteem, be it classic low/self hatred or fragile high/narcissistic. betting my life they’re all on some point of the insecure attachment spectrum, probably a lot of histories with abuse/trauma involved too. there will always be a subset of broken and/or otherwise unhealthy people with fucked…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 05:54 PM
1

i was making more of a nod to OP if she saw this, not expecting you to care about snark. respect for the redaction tho! what about her post struck you as anti-man not just anti-intimate relationships? i could see anyone writing a post like this regardless of their gender or the gender they’re attracted to to answer your last, probably a lot of women, but i wouldn’t be one of them. i only ever see where those kinds of replies are coming from in the cases where anti-woman bias is bleeding through.…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 10:40 PM
3

some parts of her post/replies give me pause but “clearly you just couldn’t lock down a HVM hook up” is quite the leap, that warrants ever drop of snark she threw at you lol plenty of other possibilities behind this post besides that specific scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 09:55 PM
5

maybe, maybe not. i’m open to the possibility you’re proposing but i’d wanna know things about those individuals’ experiences to buy it. that said im hesitant to broach that with you given ngl the plainly aggravated and defensive responses you’ve given everyone who mentioned the avoidant possibility here, like how dare we make the assumption. i mean one Q i do wanna ask is, do you think it’s possible that this is an avoidant thing for you, or do you think that’s not possible?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 09:49 PM
10

idk anecdotally i haven’t met someone who had a preference against intimate emotional attachment relationships in favor of casual low attachment relationships who didn’t happen to have bad attachment experiences. i had a more extreme version of this convo with my psych dad years ago about the concept of hermits who choose to isolate entirely, is it possible for someone to choose that who hasn’t experienced significant attachment/rejection issues in their past or who hasn’t had some kind of diagn…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 09:18 PM
2

wait just clarifying, your take is that “don’t hit women” has nothing to do with biological strength differences between men and women? thoughts on times and cultures where it was legal for husbands to hit their wives for discipline same as hitting children?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 04:36 PM
–

they said worst thing to call them not worst thing to do, anti-feminine insults calling men women or gay are definitely society’s favorite insult for men
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 09:21 PM
27

that “never ever hit a woman” mentality is one of the most harmful forms of benevolent sexism imo, it bugged me since i was a kid/tomboy learning how differently the world sees and treats boys and girls. it’s the demonization of men’s vulnerability and the denial of women’s agency, us being physically weaker on average becomes us being incapable of causing severe harm. fuck that, defend yourself shamelessly from abusers of any stripe
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 07:15 PM
0

my gf and i are big on fantasizing about our fav celebrities with each other, watching porn together, saying “she’s so hot” about the latest W player we’re obsessed with lol etc. i don’t have a problem with her self-sex life not revolving around me 100% of the time, i don’t expect my partners to only satisfy themselves with me and thoughts of me and i don’t expect that of myself either
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 02:28 AM
4

friend literally neither of these support the claim that feminists are telling men they need women to be happy. you can endorse the claims in both while also claiming that men can find happiness beyond relationships with women, they’re not mutually exclusive like you’re arguing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 01:42 AM
4

commenting in case redpillers who are diehard about that theory ever engage with this post
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 06:37 PM
6

til i grab a knife and uno reverse 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 02:30 AM
6

emotionally intelligent people are lol it’s the difference between being task oriented and ego oriented/fragile/insecure. what’s that game of thrones line, lions don’t concern themselves with the opinions of sheep
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 02:25 AM
5

anyone who has studied christian american purity culture knows it’s also many non-muslims’ view of sexuality. many christian girls in those subcultures are taught that their marriage will be impure if their bodies are impure going into it, sometimes even including when they’re raped and told they must have tempted their rapist.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 02:01 AM
6

fr, begging everyone to look up what implicit biases are and how they impact things like admissions and employment. we’ve bridged the gap in some parts of the world but absolutely not most
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 10:45 PM
4

wait but you just described the orgasm gap lol all things being equal it’s generally easier for men to cum than it is for women, that’s probably the biggest reason why there’s a gap. does “orgasm gap” automatically equal “this is someone’s fault” to yall or something cuz my take is literally just that it’s not as easy for women to cum 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 03:22 PM
9

buddy he literally slapped the shit out of her multiple times 💀 flips the table to terrorize her, verbally and emotionally abuses her from the jump, her first scene with jack is her about to commit suicide bc her life is so miserable in large part to the arranged marriage to said abuser, and she was 17 years old. how did you walk away from that film with any other interpretation of his character lol holy fkn blinders
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 04:52 PM
1

that rich husband actively abused her 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 04:48 PM
–

imagine thinking choice overload bias only applies to women lol i swear a basic background in psychology would save so many people’s worldviews
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 07:37 PM
–

the extremes definitely feed off each other yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 07:18 PM
1

both would be hypocritical imo, if a guy looks down on women who have casual sex but he loves getting women to hook up with him and doesn’t think he should be viewed the same way they’re viewed, that’s a classic double standard. likely held alongside believing people who penetrate should be held to a different standard than people who get penetrated
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 06:44 PM
–

objectively is an insane word choice fam lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 06:23 PM
1

wym all he said was that there are women who like feminine guys, he wasn’t the one implying that means women who say they like men in touch with their feminine side, that applies to ton of men like the macho guy who’s not afraid to cry and who ppl wouldn’t call overall feminine
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 06:19 PM
3

hot take idt straight to gay or vice versa is a thing but i do think a ton of people are bi and don’t realize it bc they’ve been conditioned to never consider it let alone accept it, idt that part applies to most people but to expand it back to the broader point, i do think most people get conditioned with gender roles to the point where they develop prejudices against people who defy them (i just saw someone said “fruit cakes” pejoratively in these comments, willing to bet there’s uh interestin…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:52 PM
2

wait most women who say “men in touch with their feminine side” aren’t equating that with femboys
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:41 PM
1

one of my friends is the same she’s only dated overtly feminine/androgynous guys. then another couple of friends will only date masculine guys (those friends happen to be the most religious) and another couple ended falling for nerdy/not super masculine guys but my friends don’t value that label they just have a great emotional connection same as the first friend. i never really noticed til now that i’ve got some interesting diversity in preferences in my friend group lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:35 PM
–

a certain percentage of women refuse to date bisexuals, several of my friends were like that, shockingly they also had shakey self esteem and weird patriarchal beliefs under the surface. attraction is largely downhill from other dynamics, women who hate girly men, as in not just prefer masculine men but actually bully feminine men, are exhibiting what feminists have called internalized misogyny for decades. that point literally tracks with femininity being viewed as lesser
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 09:33 AM
2

it’s not 100% of women and even if it were, perceptions aren’t reality, traumatic experiences are more likely to make people overestimate the number of threats in their environment than accurately see it. if 100% of white people thought 100% of black people are inherently inferior, even bc 100% of white poeple had bad experiences with a black person at one point or another, 100% of white people would be morons who don’t understand sampling/anecdote bias. it is absolutely not good to generalize m…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 06:51 PM
3

i’m a lesbian in a community of women too paralyzed by fear of rejection to ask each other out, i can confidently say it’s not just straight guys who experience it and it’s not just queer women who have to learn to power through it if they want a partner. it takes some courage.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 06:45 PM
5

i felt every word of this in my soul lol zendaya is one of the most beautiful and talented women on the planet to me truly not exaggerating, i see why people think sweeney is attractive and maybe if i met her the in-person beauty would hit me but idk i think i agree with you on the basic thing, for lack of a better word. i’ve seen a lot of sydney’s, ive never seen anyone like zendaya, she can pull off any look her beauty just seems categorically different
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 10:51 PM
1

when i was in hs i felt a strong allyship with the gay community before i realized i was gay, back around the “that’s so gay” era, i had a lot of success simply asking my friends not to say shit like that, at least not around me. since then ive done the same with other prejudices like misandry, doing that can really go a long way in my experience, not every time but enough to do a little something. gotta pick your battles for it to be effective with ppl you know, but even just calling out misogy…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 06:14 PM
2

a romantic life partner satisfies me in a way that friendships don’t, i see it from the angle maximizing my quality of life, if i die without a partner i’ll still be ok im grateful i have amazing family and friends and love for myself, having a life partner and a healthy romantic relationship increases my quality of life. plus, i can’t control that i fall in love let alone when where why and how, to never pursue that would feel like the biggest missed opportunity of my life. i also happen to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 05:33 PM
1

algorithms are so wild i stg i’ve mostly seen the opposite, every year i see more and more women say they’re boycotting the dating scene and lamenting their orientation (also im not condoning that second one as healthy). the only people i hear insisting women’s lives revolve around men are men and lesbians complaining about bi women lol that said i totally believe you when you say all you see is the opposite, i think this is a terrifying example of how our worldviews are being implicitly founded…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 02:43 AM
1

i think you and i would be fast friends, couldn’t agree more especially with the parallels of online misogyny and online misandry. i will say it’s a pipe dream to tell anyone to just look around and see what we see, they’ll just say the reverse and no one’s better for it. twisted worldviews are usually rooted in confirmation and attention biases (of which im not immune, fs) add to it insecure attachment styles to your point about hurt people hurt people, and a touch of existential dread, and it …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 01:41 AM
5

nice to see a great answer made so early on a new post. i’d like to add in addition to your great point about gold star lesbians, there’s also a decent bit of bottom-shaming/internalized bottom shame in the lesbian community too. partly bc they’re more numerous so there’s a higher demand for tops but i also think it’s partly for the same reason it’s a thing in gay men’s circles, ppl just associate tops with power and respect and frankly masculinity, and in turn associate bottoms with weakness/sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 07:50 AM
2

same i’m super online and super into porn and it took me a sec to realize he was talking about a real person i stg for a sec i thought bonnie blue might be some stacy/chad code word for porn stars lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:45 AM
1

not necessarily, some guys don’t have to be insecure to internalize cultural sexism like that, but it’s certainly true in a lot of cases to the point where i’d bet there’s a very strong correlation. same with women not wanting to date short or broke men, sometimes that’s just cultural but a lot of the time it’s bc she’s insecure of herself and thinks only a tall guy can prove her femininity/worth as a woman. don’t get me started on the handful of bi women i’ve met who say they’d never date a bi …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:42 AM
2

idt that preference is wrong as long as youve never spit roasted or double penetrated a woman in a threesome lol in that case i’m calling you a massive hypocrite. i’d say the same to a woman who’s got a low body count but thinks guys with the same low count are losers she wouldn’t date, or a woman who’s broke but thinks she’s better than broke men, that’s just classic sexist (and i’d argue implicitly patriarchal) hypocrisy
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:34 AM
1

“that only few men would be able to achieve” so what say you to those men, top 1%ers who hit that number with ease starting from a young age off good looks and/or being born into extreme wealth? plenty of men can and do get a thousand hook ups from factors they did not have to establish or work for, and yet that still doesn’t matter to you bc it’s really just about gender not the sociocultural or individual context. i mean where do lesbians and gay men with 1000 same sex partners even fit into t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:18 AM
2

yeah feel ya there, ironically i make that “men would be justified to rape then” take to misogynists who lean on arguments of nature/bio essentialism as an extreme conclusion of their take, thanks for the reminder for me to say it to misandrists who use the same justification for this kinda bs
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 05:15 PM
8

ah thank you for the context i’m a feminist who has no issue saying that comedian’s “joke”/take is dumb and damaging
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:28 AM
6

wait who calls women those things lol never heard that before
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:25 AM
3

suuuuper normal thread so far whew
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:23 AM
1

i gotta say it was ironic to see you ask for receipts in a different part of the thread of men saying only 6’4 guys get laid, i was tempted to respond with a similar comment you made here bc like you, i know i’ve seen it, they’re just not easy to find and cite. on the same note that i’ll trust you that there are comments/posts like you’ve said, pls trust me that it’s the same case for the “only tall guys get laid” take. i don’t see why that’s so wild to believe given how many crazy random ass ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 07:52 AM
1

would genuinely appreciate some links to those comments/posts if you’ve got a couple, i’ve been keeping an eye out for something like that since i found this sub and haven’t seen it yet
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 07:47 AM
1

r/bropill sub is soup for the soul for anyone who needs a palate cleanser
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 07:41 AM
2

might have to yoink that doordash for pussy line 💀🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 07:39 AM
0

challenged not really, i rarely come across a take that helps me see a flaw or gap in my worldview that contradicts other parts of my worldview. this sub has expanded my worldview to better understand how redpillers interpret various facts/arguments/perspectives. also helps me appreciate diversity amongst conservative men’s worldviews, for example growing up i had it drilled into me, mainly by religious folks, that girls/women aren’t supposed to pursue boys/men because it emasculates men and sug…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 07:32 AM
3

i think the idea isn’t related to homosexuals but bisexuals and that historically bi people assumed they were straight until recent years when it was more acceptable and got the left handed effect. i’m seeing a gallup poll from last year that shows 4.4% of respondents were bi and i definitely buy that that number is significantly higher for gen z. i don’t have a strong take on the rest of the claims being made about it tho. edit i should’ve kept exploring that poll before i posted, said 28.5% of…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 12:42 AM
3

i’ll vouch for this i’ve seen women (maybe teen girls) say this in like a tiktok comment section. there are basically two different groups of women on this, some say never pursue friends and be up front, others say only pursue friends
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 07:01 PM
4

ironically bc i don’t feel like men elsewhere are as willing to listen to a woman as some men here are. i used to withhold the fact that im a woman let alone a lesbian to conservative/redpill men i’d find online bc of how many times i was dismissed for my identity rather than heard out for my thoughts. there’s still quite a bit of dismissiveness here especially when i mention my sexuality but it’s refreshing when i run into someone i disagree with here who will at least hear me out in good faith…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 05:23 PM
9

lesbian too so i can only give my platonic take on “like” lol but the men in my life are just great people i can have mutually supportive and emotionally intimate friendships with and also have as much fun as i have with my female friends. my brother is awesome (now, he was a shit when we were kids 😂), my dad is one of the most emotionally intelligent and insightful people i know, it breaks my heart to think that a lot of people don’t get to see the kind of gender diversity i’ve been blessed to …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 02:37 AM
1

does any redpiller here think women and men have more psychological similarities than differences? in my experience, feminists are far far more likely to believe that. i’d be happy to hear from redpillers who agree there, but everything i’ve seen from random redpillers, redpill influencers, and redpillers on this sub suggests the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:20 AM
7

setting aside that conservatives tend to be religious and bigger on procreation, my personal theory is that for some guys there’s personal masculine validation in having a family and especially having sons. i’ve also heard redpillers talk about legacies and how tons of boys and men throughout history die as virgins or single. feel like that might signal that redpillers may have a bit more existential anxiety on average and having kids helps stave that off. all of that together would equal blue p…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 12:51 AM
0

uhhh a crazy minority of feminists might stalk harass and drive people to suicide, but you’re really gonna generalize most feminists as doing that to anyone let alone men who go to men’s shelters? i’ve seen some wild generalizations on this thread but that might take the cake
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 06:42 AM
–

feel better?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 04:34 PM
–

yeah the lesbian subs are always full of people asking “how do i improve my profile” this seems like a supply/demand dynamic cuz ik gay men have a different reputation with their profiles lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 06:17 AM
1

do you think it’s possible for it to be a market dynamic unrelated to valuing gender roles for some people, or do you think that’s not possible
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:19 PM
1

yeah that’s been the experience of a lot of my straight friends too, i think im prone to similar issues sometimes with my adhd cuz ive caught myself talking nonstop and also ironically asking too many questions in a row lol i just get socially blind sometimes, your story makes me wonder if that date will have enough self awareness to realize what even went wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:11 PM
9

“i can see why he’s attractive to women/i can see why she’s attractive to men” are valid statements that don’t imply the speaker is attracted to that person idk where this idea came from that you can only ever use that word on people you personally are attracted to lol ain’t about convenience to have a good faith difference in understanding..
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:01 PM
1

really wish i’d seen this first before writing my paragraph lol well said 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 06:04 AM
2

i think attraction based on race is downhill of attitudes on race which you can definitely introspect about and change. i might be incredibly biased or i might be the perfect example of this, but i grew up not being attracted to black women because (as i later realized) i’d never seen a gay black woman before, every black girl i knew irl or saw in media was straight and usually homophobic so my brain definitely made an association between “black women = not interested in me = not on my radar.” i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 06:04 AM
1

multiple ways to make a living. only one way to have a child. a woman’s life will always be at risk until the science catches up.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 05:39 AM
2

the child by being the direct caretaker wtf was this thread 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 05:38 AM
2

this was the norm for hundreds if not thousands of years and it isn’t anywhere close to gone or rare today. i’m glad you don’t subscribe to it but literally millions of girls internalize this message by the time they’re 10. just like boys who internalize messages about their worth being tied to their financial status and lack of emotional vulnerability. there’s still a ton of work to do on both fronts.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 01:59 AM
2

it gets drilled into girls heads from a young age via implicit and or explicit messages. it literally instills insecurity, and takes a good amount to overcome. same with boys who get it drilled into their heads that their worth is based on their athleticism/stoicism/risk taking/financial gain/social status. takes a good amount of work to overcome and undo those social scripts
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 01:54 AM
6

don’t underestimate the social pressures that say success for women = marriage and success for men = life accomplishments including but not limited to marriage. throughout human history one gender has typically been told that their purpose is marriage and family and the other is told that their purpose is staking their claim in the world. a few decades of feminist rhetoric popping up doesn’t erase those messages (check the history of gendered kids media, girls’ stories typically revolve around l…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 01:43 AM
2

ima say the same thing i say to fellow lesbians who think our relationships are too black and white to relate to any straight relationship: that’s a convenient thought-stopper for anyone who doesn’t wanna consider that other perspective at all. i’ve yet to have a lesbian articulate what they mean when they say men and women love differently inherently, they always bring up social trends that have exceptions and are therefore not inherent. there’s way more overlap between our worlds than people o…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:07 AM
0

yeah nail on the head there. he’s wondering why a woman would find a psycho attractive, while he finds her attractive.. i’m willing to bet self esteem issues are involved in both cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 04:59 AM
5

bro ima be 100% honest i don’t think people who are attracted to malicious people are okay mentally, everything about it screams low self esteem and insecure attachment style. i feel like it’s healthier to focus on the rejections from people you’d deem healthy, not someone who’s so fkd up in the head that pedophilia isn’t a dealbreaker lol that’s insane, the trash took itself out in that particular case
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 04:55 AM
-1

but that’s a byproduct of supply and demand lol there’s a big enough supply of men that they can afford to have higher standards. im sure men would be more picky and open about their icks if this dynamic was reversed. in lesbian circles where we don’t have nearly as many options, we have the stereotype of tolerating bs. meanwhile gay men who have a ridiculously high supply tend to be more picky/seem superficial
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 04:30 AM
2

entirely possible that this isn’t related to valuing traditional gender roles and it’s just a byproduct of supply and demand. if the supply of interested dates is higher than an individual’s demand then they won’t feel pressure to be proactive in finding a partner, nor will they have to. i do know a number of women who are liberal/feminist/bp and won’t approach men because they do hold onto that traditional gender role dynamic, but then there are also tons of women like Fun Breakfast (lol) who w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 09:34 AM
20

uhhh the living is torturous rape for the rest of their lives. kill me instead any day of the week.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 09:59 PM
2

that’s a fact that was taught to me in a human trafficking course i took yeah, there’s a correlation between legalizing prostitution and increased rates of trafficking. that’s the only stat that gives me pause about legalizing. but then there’s also a fair argument to be made that major events like the super bowl also correlate with increased trafficking and that that may just be a reality of people congregating
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 09:48 PM
2

fwiw a growing stereotype, that i hope is false, is that a significant chunk of passport bros are going to countries where it’s legal to fuck 16 year olds so the hate from there stems from an assumption of predatory behavior and pedophilic rape. personally that’s the only kind of passport bro i give af about, if you’re sleeping with consenting grown women then have a blast.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 09:46 PM
11

wait friend it’s still entirely possible for you to look good, be introverted, be not-boring and still have some other factor that stood out negatively to people. one classic example is people who love answering questions about their own passions and don’t realize it’s been an hour since they asked their date a question about their interests. a number of those people probably walk away from that date misdiagnosing what went wrong. i’m not trying to make a grander commentary on other aspects of y…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 03:19 PM
3

it doesn’t work bc it’s only great in short spans at a surface level. cruises are fun, but spend too much time on one and i’m missing home. Look too closely at the ugly details and i’m begging for home lol hence why in no world would i rate the cruise over my home, in no world would i choose a lifetime of living on cruises over a lifetime of living in my home. my standards for where i choose to have temporary new experiences will always be lower than my standards for where i choose to live. i’d …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 02:18 PM
1

dude actually said “i don’t care” lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 02:54 AM
5

i just gotta say, the wnba isn’t asking for the same pay as the nba lol goddamn how many of yall really believe that without googling it once, they’re asking for a higher share of the revenue. rn nba players make 50% of nba revenue. W players get 9% of W revenue. that’s what they’re trying to change, just because thousands of hater comments say they want nba pay doesn’t make it true
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 02:56 AM
5

if the point is to talk about how modern culture is closed off to strangers interacting, a better example should have been picked than trying to pick up a woman who’s working out lol that’s like one of the biggest examples of when not to approach people. man or woman
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 01:58 AM
6

choosing this sub of all subs to seek validation from is a wild choice i wish you the best of luck with all that
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 12:19 AM
15

if you can find women who are down with that, have a blast.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 08:58 PM
6

nope. i’m a lesbian even i know that’s bs, it’s one thing to say society pressures women into relationships with men, it’s another to say that’s the main or only reason women enter relationships with men. this feels like a troll post.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 08:32 PM
0

we’re diving neck deep into binary brain now what do you meannnn women don’t find men lol is it considered emasculating in some circles for a man to “be found” or something
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 06:36 PM
2

it’s bum culture i’ve seen people of every race gender and orientation do it lol currently happening rn with my bff and her white bum boyfriend. attachment styles are fascinating 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 06:29 PM
1

the fundamental thing being her attraction to him? i reserve “lead on” for people who know nothing’s gonna happen, but the woman in your story was trying to see if things would change for her, idt that’s unreasonable. i actually had a guy friend in the shoes of the woman you’re talking about, he kinda liked his date but it took a couple dates for him to realize it wasn’t gonna work. i’d only consider it leading her on if he came to the realization that she wasn’t the one but kept going on dates …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 06:40 PM
5

holy hell you really think only single moms are neglecting their kids doctors visits? 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 09:21 PM
0

we’re equating “standards to be a potential partner i personally want” with “standards to be a human being worthy of love and respect” now? 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 03:51 PM
13

aaaand there goes the mask.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 03:43 PM
5

lord have mercy that dude actually started defending the conversion camps, that’s enough purple pill for me for the day 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 09:09 PM
7

i was gonna say the strongest arguments against the draft that i’ve heard have literally come from feminists, we haven’t gotten to vote against the draft in my lifetime unless i’m mistaken. i’ve said since my high school guy friends got their card that it feels infantalizing that i’m not expected to do the same bc i don’t have a dick lol equal draft or no draft are both positions i’ve heard feminists make. keeping in mind that the main arguments against women being allowed in the military at all…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 09:06 PM
4

in my experience, that’s a human thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 08:54 PM
4

uh yeah thanks for reiterating the concern that not every woman who needs a medically necessary abortion can get one because of the impact of anti abortion legislation. there are women in the US who are dying from forced birth, nothing you said challenged that despite you responding trying to challenge that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 08:50 PM
21

this is the same dude who “accidentally” went live in the middle of fucking a hot chick and he got months of content off of it lol can’t believe i’m seeing his name in a serious post on this sub
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 03:25 AM
6

i can’t even describe to you how much this comment represents me, fkn preach. hyperfixating helped me learn how to (poorly) play guitar and piano in a month lol OP should find an ADHD women sub and see what they think about this post
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 11:02 PM
1

even if women generally didn’t respect it that doesn’t mean it’s not a cultural thing. one fact we do know is that vast majority of cultures stigmatize it, and that has absolutely impacted human behavior on a global scale. especially in societies that say women’s worth is partly based on the masculinity of her husband, and say that stay at home fathers lack masculinity dads make up a fifth of stay at home parents in the US, that % has been rising for awhile. i’m comfortable arguing this is latel…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 08:17 AM
3

probably one of the most interesting personally agreeable comments i’ve seen on this sub. what she described might apply to some men but yeah not the men i know, agreed. you can imagine from my flair how much i agree with that third paragraph lol preach. very interesting to hear how you articulated the feeling of being on the receiving end of malicious withholding, i agree with the original commenter that a lot of the time it’s just women not being interested but i also agree with you that somet…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 11:02 PM
41

these beyond sexist generalizations help absolutely no one. “fundamentally” is absolutely fkn insane to say and has no basis
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:18 AM
2

this sub would benefit greatly from more people having a fundamental grasp of attachment theory, that’s the common denominator for a lot of things that people assume are “innately” gendered lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:20 AM
1

i buy gendered trends but not to an “innate to female biology and not male biology” level, that’s quite black and white for a world that has a lot of women who talk to multiple men and a lot of men who only talk to one woman at a time when they could talk to multiple. it’d be interesting to see a breakdown of this on communication styles, like i could see someone who replies twice a day talking to a lot of dates at the same time like that, and i could see someone who likes in depth engaged convo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:14 AM
3

it’s their honest take in banter form, i’ll give them a scrap of benefit of the doubt that they don’t know they’re bothering OP by saying that but it’s still cringe. reminds me of a Euphoria scene where one of the girls tells a virgin girl “you need to catch a dick” like she was jokingly disgusted, in both examples that banter still equals peer pressure, 10/10 do not recommend
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:05 AM
3

commenting in case this gets a reply, one of the strangest interactions i’ve seen on this sub lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 03:39 AM
1

buddy that last line is so painfully ironic
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 03:38 AM
3

you really got him
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 09:40 PM
3

yeah i was gonna say this is pretty subconscious and human, i know ive fallen prey to media-influenced views of people too. that’s what gives me the most hope that we can help fix this, starting with basic awareness/critical thinking skills
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:37 AM
1

not thinking the average worker is trafficked but there’s a growing research consensus on the correlation between legalizing sex work in an area and trafficking increasing in that area. that’s the stat that gives me pausel. but consider this a “steelman” addition to the thread, i’m not 100% certain where i fall on this issue but js thats the concern i’ve heard from academic feminists
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 03:32 AM
3

imagining someone with no friends who feels so unloved by his family and gets rejected by an escort i wanna give that poor guy a hug 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 03:23 AM
1

nope! also not what i’d consider feminism since it’s advocating for the opposite of gender equality (much like i wouldn’t consider a person a Christian if they say they don’t believe in Jesus Christ)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 12:25 AM
1

what the hell kinda logic 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 12:22 AM
1

nah that’s black and white reasoning, it’s neutral to do nothing, bad to engage anti socially, good to engage pro socially. i’d apply that take to men and i’d apply it to women, i’d apply it to the principles of being a healthy adult. it’s toxic/sexist if it’s only said to one gender, i say this shouldnt be gendered at all
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 12:20 AM
2

is literally taking up other people’s space 💀 hell of an example to pick lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 12:15 AM
1

“wow what a strawman” “wow what a way to miss the point entirely” strawmans harder
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 12:11 AM
–

“are there some men making these jokes” as two men make the biggest small dick dig at trump ever via south park lol i’m on your side with stopping it no matter who says it (ironic af i see this post today, literally criticized the small dick jokes with my dad while we watched a news segment on that ep) but yeah men make small dick jokes all the time, i wouldn’t bet a dollar on either direction which gender says it more bc i’ve seen an even mix in my personal life, media, and social media. i’ve d…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 03:31 AM
–

i’ve personally seen a solid fair mix of it coming from women and men but yeah this is something i honestly rarely see men push back against when men body shame men, i’m all for challenging it wherever we see it including fat jokes and small body part jokes directed at trump
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 03:21 AM
1

ohhh so you’re not nice to people because you think it entitles them to fuck you in the ass? genuinely insightful if this is why some assholes are assholes
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 07:38 PM
1

“SO YOU HATE WAFFLES???” brother that’s a whole new sentence, it’s ok to not want to date a trans person, it’s ok to express that, but this was a shitty disrespectful way to do that. i thought OP was exaggerating when she said this was the example most guys were defending, good fuckin lord if a woman did this to a short guy and women responded “oh so women have to like short men now?” i’d call them fuckin morons and i’d hope every guy in the line pops their own balloon lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 07:37 PM
2

10/10 would recommend searching what implicit biases are and most interestingly what some of the biggest studies behind it show. all of the people in these studies would have said the same thing you’re saying, because again this is an unconscious dynamic much like how subliminal messaging can influence us without us realizing it. i’m ngl this is something so fundamental in the field of psychology that i forget most people don’t know it’s even a thing, but it’s absolutely vital to understanding h…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 07:10 AM
–

you just “so you hate waffles”ed me buddy 💀 1) i don’t, 2) i do, 3) does my answer for 1 cover this too? gotta say these are all ironic af in light of the point i was going for in the comment you asked these to
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 06:40 AM
–

i’ve seen that take but not directed at advocating for women to be comfortable approaching men, that’s a bit of a conflation of online talking points imo, i hear the pityfuck take in response to men saying women need to help solve the loneliness epidemic, personally haven’t heard anyone jump from that to “saying women should approach more is a violation of my autonomy” lol if any take deserves to be the dictionary definition example of terminally online, it’s that. did you expect a ton of commen…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 06:33 AM
3

it’s a realistic way of looking at things in context of the available research we have, and in context of everyday prejudice i see by people who do not realize they’re perpetuating it. what you’ve described kinda highlights what i mean, “i personally spend 1% of my time thinking about xyz” but that’s a conscious experience, im talking about unconscious implicit biases like not realizing you’re being a bit extra flirty with x person because they’re a woman even when you’re in a professional setti…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 06:25 AM
3

can’t think of a single thing
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:33 AM
5

100%, i remember learning how much people value that when i was in 6th grade and a boy went under my desk touched my legs and made a bunch of jokes about it. went home that night and learned how to shave 🙃 boys aren’t born with that attitude, that’s absolutely cultural and wouldn’t be much of a thing if every woman stopped shaving. surely there’s a culture out there where women don’t shave and men don’t give a fuck lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:27 AM
2

yeah i’m firm believer that if you were born in a racist/sexist/homophobic/xenophobic society then you’re probably infected with some of it in the form of implicit biases. i’d comfortably bet my life that the vast majority of people if not all have some kind of misogynistic implicit bias some with other common prejudices
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:20 AM
–

growing up Catholic we got shamed for masturbating lol i actually got shamed by peers for asking a crush out in 2nd grade cuz “girls don’t do that.” back in the 70s my mom got pregnant by my dad and he was allowed to walk for graduation and she was kicked out. you’re talking about something academics call the sexual double standard, it’s been alive and well for centuries and it’s not disappearing anytime soon
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 10:10 PM
–

here i was thinking you calling it a gotcha Q was uncharitable and OP would be happy to see women disagree with thinking it’s a violation of autonomy to encourage women to initiate more. then i saw that reply lol my overcharitability strikes again
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 10:04 PM
–

she didn’t comment on which gender does it more i think it was on an individual level “who cares whether a man or a woman makes the first step”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 10:00 PM
–

that’s super indirect tho, idt anyone should be forced to go further if they don’t want to, applies to men too, but ain’t nothin wrong with saying people should feel free to do it more themselves. hell that’s like the most common thing said in lesbian communities, stop indirectly flirting and getting sad when she doesn’t approach, go approach her ffs femme or butch lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:58 PM
–

suggesting coercion and violation of women’s freedom by advocating for women to try initiating more? lock me up ig lmao sounds like a take i’d read in a 14 year old’s tiktok comment or something i’d cringe if one of my friends tried to argue that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:56 PM
1

was gonna say idt ive even heard of a feminist who says objectification only goes one way it’s just that one sex tends to be objectified far more often than the other. i’ll keep an eye out for any online feminists i see arguing it only happens to women, i’d challenge that in a heartbeat. especially if any of them are hunger games fans who love Finnick lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:52 PM
1

lol this reminds me of a guy who found out i was a lesbian and said i can’t actually love my gf i can only objectify her 😂 this speaks to a semantics disagreement on what constitutes objectification.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:50 PM
1

i’ll add on to what the other person said, that applies to a certain % fair to guess majority of women, but there are also women usually with a rough background who are literally attracted to misogynistic men, i’d bet a mil the self esteem of said women isn’t high and internalized misogyny is at play. lots of mentally unwell women are attracted to being straight up abused, plenty of men too
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:44 PM
1

the sentence that inspired that was “women are bad at spotting awful men” it’s valid to point out the sex registry thing as an example of bad people not being easily identifiable. but i’m also saying this in alignment with my disagreement in thinking women have some biologically superior intuition, we might be more vigilant on average but obviously women can mistake bad men for good men, people in general can mistake bad people from good people
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:37 PM
1

yeah i didn’t realize that was something people took seriously lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 09:33 PM
–

definitely just unintentionally, i’ve stopped making jokes like bald jokes and small dick/balls jokes, height jokes etc. i catch myself using gender coded language between my niece and nephew that i wanna work on, i’ll say misogynistic cuss words like bitch and pussy and motherfucker when i’m gaming with friends, i try not to say them in public lobbies/outside of my inner circle of people i trust aren’t misogynistic. to name a few examples lol i see it as a byproduct of being raised in a patriar…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 01:29 AM
2

good addition on the good sense and discernment bit, really hope a lot of people in this sub come across yalls thread here it’s a good one
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 01:17 AM
1

can’t agree with this more, that’s the recipe for dating with healthy self esteem imo
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 01:14 AM
5

that’s bc you’re taking this from the perspective of the traumatized woman, these guys are taking the perspective of how the toxic man would feel. because that’s what’s important 🙃
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 01:01 AM
1

some women from purity culture backgrounds have been slut shamed into thinking only men should initiate
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 01:01 AM
–

we’re talking about the same society that elected Trump twice right? and might elect him a third time? he would have never stepped foot in the white house if we took women’s rape accusations as seriously as you’re implying we do. fucks sake he was found LIABLE for raping a woman and we elected him AGAIN. you are talking about a dynamic that is certainly true in some cases, to your point that many women do have social power they use in malicious misandrist way. but it is abso-fuuuckin-lutely not …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 02:21 AM
–

but that person is addressing both, they’re saying that by reducing male violence we can reduce male victimization so at the end of the day we need to focus on male violence
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 02:11 AM
–

that’s a strawman lol do you think it’s impossible to believe patriarchal values place men/masculinity above women/femininity, and also think neither sex is superior/inferior? why do you treat those as mutually exclusive?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 02:07 AM
–

idk i think ima come to his defense on that particular point, i appreciate that people are trying to be vigilant about victim blaming concerns and i do think there’s a difference between someone who’s classically prejudiced and someone who’s reacting to experienced prejudice by inflicting prejudice. but there’s still something to be said for reactive prejudice being harmful and us having a duty to call a spade a spade bc of that reality. i’ve experienced misogyny and homophobia but i don’t think…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 01:56 AM
–

“men who defend it are rare” but men who engage in it without realizing it arent, misogynistic implicit biases aren’t rare at all neither are a lot of misogynistic aspects of our culture, like electing the guy who said he grabs women by the genitals or the universality of our disproportionately misogynistic cuss words. i hear where you’re coming from on the idea that misandry is defended more than challenged and the opposite is true for misogyny, certainly there are more people/women who would d…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 12:45 AM
2

unserious
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 08:42 AM
–

i see pain and i just hope it doesn’t translate to prejudice. and as a lesbian who has lived in red rural areas, i empathize.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 07:28 AM
-1

“men are seen as the oppressors” by a certain % of women. i’d bet my life it’s not a majority of women, but even if it was it’s something that’s frowned upon to say in what i’d call the right circles of feminism and shouldn’t be said. gendering who can and can’t speak on the wrongness of sexist generalizations is playing into gender wars bs, not too long ago the mainstream narrative of damn near all time was the world saying the same to women. it’s wrong either way and we’re just people advocati…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 09:23 AM
1

i feel for straight couples where this is a source of tension, me and my gf are planning to hit up a strip club together on our next trip lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:24 PM
1

🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:22 PM
1

that got me 😂🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:16 PM
18

“i will sustain you with my love and with my fish” >>>>
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:15 PM
7

enough straight women to get someone to make this post, apparently lol those dudes should see it as a win win they probably wouldn’t like the women who don’t appreciate a passion of theirs, i wouldn’t want to date a woman who cringes at pics of me doing my fav hobbies
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:14 PM
6

“we gave women the right to vote” my cringe cringed
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 03:58 AM
2

that sucks i feel for him, i’ve never really thought about how disinclined i’d be to talk to a doctor about that if i was a guy with ED
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 01:45 AM
1

“Abaxie Jr” got me 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 01:21 AM
1

holy hell that thread was a mindfuck lol godspeed with it
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 01:10 AM
1

freud actually made a number of important contributions to the field and every intro to psych class will differentiate the useful info (unconscious processes/defense mechanisms/implicit biases exist, childhood experiences impact adulthood, talk therapy can be helpful etc) from the penis envy/incest complex theories. people truly have no clue how much of their own understanding of psychology is tied to freud’s contributions, they only know the meme shit and then subsequently caricature the field …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 09:36 PM
1

preach, i heard it a couple times in college mid 2010s too, still see it said here n there online
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 09:24 PM
4

yep took a college class on human trafficking, biggest takeaway is that we haven’t found a way to legalize sex work without also inevitably seeing an uptick in human trafficking, that data has been consistent unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 12:55 AM
4

well since we just went from “insecurity due to previous negative experiences with women” to “what about this woman who murdered his pets,” let me be very clear that women can absolutely inflict trauma on men lol not disagreeing with that, i’m disagreeing with the notion that “previous negative experiences” especially in context of basic dating rejection, generally reflects capital T PTSD Trauma, let alone lowercare t trauma, let alone attachment trauma. i do not think the word trauma applies in…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 11:38 PM
7

insecurity has gotten a lot of people killed, themselves or others, i’d absolutely argue it can be harmful in extremes and generally it worsens quality of life, im big on everyone eventually becoming self-secure so they’re not vulnerable to those risks
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 11:24 PM
4

can you imagine what people here would say if women started saying they were traumatized by bad dates and break ups 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 11:21 PM
4

it’s attachment trauma at most, natural rejection sensitivity most likely. if you’re comfortable saying a majority of these men have attachment trauma that’d be an interesting convo.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 11:18 PM
1

i find my flair to be relevant to the majority of takes on here, anyone who conditions their self worth on external achievements like financial success and relationships and Being A Man is still in for rough seas even if they get what they want. god help them if they don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 11:16 PM
1

he’s made a lot of personal observations though 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 05:12 AM
1

keep in mind you’ve seen, let alone met, let alone befriended and properly observed enough data points of, less than .0000001% of the population. i don’t think you realize how this whole post sounds to people who are in those kinds of friendships that you say don’t exist lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 05:12 AM
3

absurd conclusion fam ngl
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 05:05 AM
10

she said she has a few male friends she’s not attracted to and wouldn’t date, and this is the conclusion you jumped to lol can’t think of aaaaany other possibilities huh
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 05:02 AM
2

interesting point yeah i could see that making a difference. i remember running into someone online awhile back who scoffed at the notion of partners being friends and said that must be an anxious attachment thing. lol. oh to take a peak into his head.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 04:32 AM
5

iirc attribution bias comes to mind, if we like someone we have a bias to attribute their success to them and attribute misfortune to circumstances, if we don’t like someone it’s the opposite
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 04:22 AM
2

pretty sure they meant feminists all agree that women can uphold patriarchy, the debates are over what actually does that. so people debating whether Sabrina Carpenter is doing that is in alignment with thinking women uphold patriarchy in other ways
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 02:21 AM
5

in case you’re interested in this one, i had a guy walk up to me and my gf at the time at a college party back in 2015 and say “so… lesbians huh? cool, cool, ya know i don’t support gay marriage but-“ and proceeded to try to talk his way into a threesome. wouldn’t listen to us when we said not interested, someone else had to step in and pull him away. felt about 90% disrespected/annoyed as fuck, 10% intimidated/anxious that an altercation was gonna happen and it wouldn’t have been the first time…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 10:40 PM
4

i feel ya, what’s weirdest to me is when it’s seen as expected rather than generously granted by the mother. if my future wife has our kids i’m fully expecting she’d give them her last name and if she wanted them to have mine it’d be the biggest honor in the world to me
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 02:26 AM
1

“she literally said she can handle herself among men” the fucking nerve of her, you tell her bro lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 10:13 PM
1

nah it’s insecure to see someone say they prefer going dutch and immediately respond with “oh yeah well you’re weaker than men” lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 09:16 PM
1

no my point was the opposite, i’m saying women like me who challenge generalizations (or who at least make that the goal, sometimes i catch myself doing it too) also seem like the minority to me bc i see so many women who make gendered generalizations. genuine Q how did you get the opposite takeaway from my comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 06:25 PM
1

brother this entire thread screams insecurity and that explanation didn’t help holy god
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 06:23 PM
3

exactly, guys (who care, #notall) care about *what they think women’s opinions are, and that’s why they don’t trust women who state a different opinion than what they think women think. OP’s arguing that women care more because… men think they care more and that’s why men care. not much consideration for the possibility that the insecurity is rooted in a skewed perception of women’s perception and that that’s critics’ entire point here lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 06:15 PM
2

i think dude was under the impression that people didn’t mean the caring about dick size take is rooted in caring about women’s view of dick size, when that’s absolutely what pretty much everyone means when they say men care more about dick size lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 06:10 PM
1

yeah small dick energy is a recent one women largely coined, i think their point is better made focusing on virgin insults/banter about low body count. that kind of dominance bonding is definitely something a lot of boys/men do, idt it’s knowable but i’d bet money that women weren’t the first ones to introduce that shaming thought into the zeitgeist centuries ago when women were barely allowed to express sexual thoughts without being shamed themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 06:06 PM
5

wait fam this is just a slight reframing of their point tho, that (i’ll add “some”) men care more/are more insecure about dick size bc they’re insecure about women’s perception of dick size. that doesn’t translate to what women’s actual perceptions are like you’re implying, it translates to how much those men worry about women’s perceptions of dick size which is the entire counterpoint being presented.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 05:59 PM
6

i’m grateful to say i’ve seen a handful of guys speak up about fkd up generalizations made about women on here but yeah they’re definitely a minority lol but hell i feel like we’re a minority compared to how many women like OP are quick to generalize too it’s exhausting to see on like every other post 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 05:54 AM
11

say it louderrrr people are way too comfortable making blanket statements like that on here, let alone for human behaviors that both genders express. OP you’re way better off asking a psychology sub about this, you’re getting at an emotional immaturity/emotional illiteracy issue resulting in emotional regulation issues, and it can have thousands of causes that are different for different people. again i really hope you recognize that this is a human thing not a man thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 04:57 AM
3

perfect word for this individual, this thread was a fever dream
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 02:03 AM
2

i mean talk about broadcasting insecurities it was literally irrelevant to her comment lol jesus
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 01:59 AM
5

fuckin hell guy what did this even have to do with their comment lmao what a self report
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 01:58 AM
6

yeah i articulated this better in another comment but the controlling behavior is downhill from low self esteem, and most of the time people don’t have a clue that they have low self esteem let alone that it’s affecting their attitudes and behaviors as often as it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 07:00 PM
5

dang yeah she needed help help whew, glad for you that she’s an ex now! and yeah feel ya on that last point i’m big on finding a healthy balance that works for each couple, definitely such a thing as doing it too much lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 06:58 PM
7

god i think it’s so unhealthy to consider masturbation cheating, like not even just porn watching but any kind of masturbation, that’s insane to me. i do think the root is being misdiagnosed tho, that kind of controlling behavior is downhill from self esteem issues, i’d bet a lot of money that your ex’s self esteem felt threatened by the thought of her partner enjoying himself without her for a half hour. that just screams anxious attachment to me, what do you think?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 03:16 PM
7

idk if this is a hot take cuz i’ve seen redpillers say as much but to answer your last Q i think it’s because of how a lot of these dudes’ self esteem is conditioned on sex, and personally i think there’s some learned helplessness in assuming that’s just how it has to be and nothing could ever change that for the better. i know a self esteem psychologist who would have a field day working with some of these guys fr
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 03:13 PM
3

i stg all of this makes the most sense from a self esteem angle, for some people this is religious but for a lot of people it’s personal because it makes them feel inadequate and rejected. that’s also, as you said in a different comment, what’s behind men who have an issue with their gfs consuming porn or having toys, it’s insecurity, it’s stuff that can make people with low self esteem feel like shit. that’s the deeper root under what you’re seeing as a power grab imo
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 03:05 PM
2

probably the worst faith interpretation possible but aight!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 08:05 PM
9

nah i’d bet money the majority of guys who say they’ve had toxic responses from women are being honest, half of my female friends have expressed this attitude and i’m sure over half my guy friends have experienced it themselves. i’d safely bet the vast majority of trad-leaning women are like that and a large chunk of feminists, too. hell, this is a whole trope in masc-femme lesbian relationships, that masc women get criticized for being vulnerable with femmes who didnt expect that from them. gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 06:29 PM
-4

odd, i’m seeing “find a healthy balance between leaning on your partner and being emotionally self reliant.”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 06:20 PM
0

i wanna cuss tf out whoever called you a slur for grieving over your cat that’s so beyond fucked up, so sorry for your loss and that experience. couldn’t agree more with everything you wrote 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 06:18 PM
3

deserves to be the top comment, perfectly articulates my take especially that first paragraph
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 06:10 PM
6

i think they’re getting at the idea of a healthy balance between leaning on your partner vs self reliance (and vs leaning on other friends/family). i highly doubt that commenter would argue that men should put up with loser failure feels from women my one bit of pushback to their comment would be that a lot of people, especially women with men, may interpret healthy expressions of vulnerability like crying at all as loser failure energy. it’s not only loser failure guys who get treated like lose…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 06:05 PM
3

fuck yeah to calling it “toxic gender norms” that solves so many issues, there’s no clear line where toxic masculinity ends and toxic femininity begins unless the line is just gender in which case what’s the value of that differentiation vs risk of misunderstanding/rejection. gonna be using this term from here out 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 05:57 PM
3

they have a name for this already it’s called an anxious attachment style lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 05:57 PM
1

thank you interesting, that sounds more right haha
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 11:10 PM
1

ig i’d call it over the top if they said this every day but i mean how is this over the top if it’s the literal only time they’ve ever said this to you
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 09:04 PM
2

cheers to that! 🍻🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 08:42 PM
5

“we’re gonna create an ideology and call it the redpill bc it’s the secret truth, and you’re either with us or you’re a blue piller, also because we’ve lumped literally everyone who’s not with us as a blue piller we also get to criticize how disjointed and incoherent the blue pill non-position is” what a fascinating corner of humanity lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 06:41 PM
3

totally valid possibility but it looks identical to someone saying the same thing without those underlying dynamics involved, so i’d personally look for other markers to determine that
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 10:29 PM
2

ah gotcha yeah i see it as an absence of an identity-specific negative and we can only do our best to try to empathize with those who do. though i think we can also find parallels in our lives and empathize in that way, like a straight black person who may not be able to fully empathize with a gay person but they do have experience with prejudice against an immutable trait and can empathize on that ground. hell, there’s a valid question on whether two people of the exact same demographic can act…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 10:06 PM
1

wait no yeah i do not think it’s low self esteem to prefer a relationship to being alone, that’s not what i meant to get across with that comment. i’m saying healthy self esteem is seeing being alone as neutral and a relationship as going from neutral to positive, low self esteem desperation is starting at negative and looking for a relationship to fill the void back to neutral, i think that’s the scenario that describes people who settle for less or abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 10:00 PM
1

gonna have to question that that’s actually a thing any kind of a significant portion of people say, to tell men to literally never talk to women, and assuming a significant portion of women do do that, i’d have to disagree that that’s oppression for women to say that, let alone comparable to the criminalization of homosexuality. i’d say this is a very very poor comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 09:48 PM
3

vehemently so 🙃
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 09:29 PM
3

I mean does Wet Dreamz by J Cole count lol like one of his biggest most beloved songs ever..
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 09:25 PM
1

that’s about giving gay people the right to have sex without going to jail for sodomy laws, has nothing to do with actually making sure every gay person has sex (which many gay people do not have, espeeeecially historically). there’s a difference between “don’t stop us from finding love” going from negative to neutral and “help us find love” going neutral to positive, we’re only asking for the right to be at neutral like straight people are. if people were actively trying to oppress straight men…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 08:42 PM
6

i was gonna say yeah that’s just hurt people hurt people shit, they’re right to say some women do it but totally wrong to generalize that. there are arguably more women/people in general who are so rejection-sensitive that they’re actually uncomfortable and hesitant to reject people
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 08:35 PM
3

to that point, (at the risk of sounding like a broken record, no pressure to reply to all of my replies lol) i’d argue patriarchy threatens everyone’s self-esteem by conditioning worth on adherence to patriarchal gender roles. the sexual double standard is a classic example of this, a man’s worth comes from how much sex he has, a woman’s worth comes from how much sex she doesn’t have, and that’s why there’s a correlation with self esteem for those who live by that mindset whether they behavioral…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 06:29 PM
4

self esteem explains this vulnerability, too, and explains the difference between people who tolerate abuse/neglect/unhealthy imbalance for good sex and those who don’t
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 06:22 PM
3

i’d bet a lot of money that she wouldn’t score very high on a self esteem metric, i’d say self esteem is the mediating variable/common denominator there, not just being a woman who likes a guy
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 06:21 PM
1

exactly, it’s a human temptation (heuristic, maybe? if i’m using that word right) to generalize our anecdotes
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 06:17 PM
2

the mentally unstable piece is the biggest common denominator to me, and i’d label it as insecure self esteem. a person with healthy self esteem is just way way waaaaay less likely to end up with an unhealthy partner like a criminal or abuser or cheater etc. it checks out that a stereotypical age for “going for the bad boy” is also the age when self esteem is most vulnerable
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 06:14 PM
2

oh interesting fr that’s the first you’ve heard of the “lack of disadvantages/absence of a negative” take? goes to show, ig, dang. yeah agreed sounds to me like the solution is re-labeling, to what idk but i’m not ego-tethered to this one sounds like you’re getting at the difference between “top-down” vs “bottom-up” empathy, attempting to understand experiences you haven’t personally had vs understanding bc you have had those experiences. can you give me some context for that last Q, you still t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 05:39 PM
2

i’d say it’s more like your acceptance and comfortability with loneliness is a marker of self esteem/attachment security and therefore how healthy your relationships will likely be. if you’re so uncomfortable being alone that you’ll stay with someone who cheats on you repeatedly, safe to say you had attachment/self esteem issues coming into the relationship that will only continue to deteriorate. people with healthy self esteem aren’t that terrified of loneliness/desperate for a relationship thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 04:47 PM
5

nah that’s fucked, i’ll thank anyone i have any kind of meaningful relationship with for being amazing and treating me right and making my life better, that’s just a basic expression of gratitude
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 04:36 PM
1

friend it’s absolutely about being scared/insecure about setting boundaries out of being scared/insecure about being dumped, out of being scared/insecure at the prospect of not being able to find a new partner. it’s definitely not security/contentment with the possibility if you’re compromising boundaries in an unhealthy way
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 04:25 PM
8

i think you’re 100% right on how the term privilege gets used in inaccurate, inflammatory and/or bad faith ways, i’ve always felt it was a shame that we didn’t choose a different word to label this concept with. i’ve always understood privilege to mean an absence of a specific type of disadvantage, like how being white affords me less exposure and vulnerability to racism, but i get why that’s not immediately obvious to people who hear “own your privilege” for the first time
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:31 PM
4

fascinating, im glad that works for them but whew i couldn’t do that, takes away all the fun to know my partner isn’t feeling that enthusiastic high with me
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:19 PM
2

nope that’s a major part of my quality of life i couldn’t compromise, fundamental incompatibility issue for me. i imagine a decent chunk of asexual people wouldn’t wanna be with an allosexual partner for similar compatibility/QoL reasons, happy for couples who are perfectly happy with that discrepancy tho
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:15 PM
11

missed the mark here everyone’s saying no and being chill about it lol tf
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:09 PM
–

yes there tends to be a correlation between takes i deem reasonable and takes i agree with, hence me explicitly stating i’d probably disagree with those other takes you’re talking about. in this case the take im calling reasonable is the one about the song lyrics. why did you even say that last bit, what is this convo 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:32 PM
1

she’s luckily not the type of religious person to endorse homophobic beliefs, that’s basically the root of her cognitive dissonance that prompted introspection. she didn’t connect the dots on how her attitudes towards men and women weren’t exactly the purest/free from prejudice. also a ton of baggage of having an abusive patriarchal narcissist father and conditioning her self esteem to the status of her partners. she’ll happily tell anyone that she’s made major strides on that front
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:28 PM
0

i think there’s a meaningful difference between having a preference for masculine traits and having a prejudice against feminine traits, like it’s one thing to prefer a more stoic partner but it’s another to feel disgusted if your partner cries at a parent’s funeral bc you see crying as weak/feminine/bad. in her case there’s a ton of patriarchal baggage behind her attitudes on masculinity/femininity, and it manifested in a significant amount of pure homophobia/biphobia. again i’d say it’s one th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:25 PM
0

(repost..) that’s absolutely the case for some of my straight female friends yeah, the idea of being with a guy who “likes being bent over” is how one of my friends put it. i asked her about bi guys who don’t even have an interest in sex with other men they just like gay porn and that still turned her off, and when we dove into the why’s behind it she actually acknowledged how fkd it was of her. that realization wasn’t enough to change the feeling (i think bc it’s downhill from her rigid self es…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:18 PM
8

wow i thought weirdos only said the “every homosexual has straight sex at some point” bit to lesbians, fascinating to hear gay men get told this bs too. GL with your hate there
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 06:34 AM
–

that’s absolutely the case for some of my straight female friends yeah, the idea of being with a guy who “likes being bent over” is how one of my friends put it. i asked her about bi guys who don’t even have an interest in sex with other men they just like gay porn and that still turned her off, and when we dove into the why’s behind it she actually acknowledged how fkd it was of her. that realization wasn’t enough to change the feeling (i think bc it’s downhill from her rigid self esteem issues…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 06:32 AM
–

i’d probably disagree with those takes but so far i think she’s making pretty reasonable points on this topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:14 AM
–

🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 11:01 PM
–

commenting in case this gets a reply
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 10:24 PM
2

😂🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 09:00 PM
2

that and the effects that a small dating pool can have on a person, i’ve lived in two towns where i ran out of lesbians to swipe within 10 minutes lol i can relate to guys who feel more pressure to settle/take the short end of the stick just to maintain a relationship. plus tons of weird gender role pressure that carries over into lez spaces, weird gendered beliefs under the surface of those pressures, navigating the balance between healthy vulnerability and self reliance, i mean truly there are…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 08:24 PM
21

i mean can we count misogynistic slurs like bitch being thrown around in every other song, including by women? there’s SO much more misogyny in the music industry than misandry. one of the most popular sounds on tiktok rn is a verse that says “if you’re gonna be my bitch you have to be obedient you cannot be a whore” and the joke isn’t that he’s being offensive it’s the funny way he pronounces the words. i literally can’t even criticize that specific line anywhere but someplace like this without…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 10:25 AM
0

some of it is pure misandry, maybe even most and my algorithms just aren’t showing me that, but some of it is a reflexive assumption of hypocrisy in assuming the men promoting that month are doing so for bad faith reasons, which is true sometimes. i can tell ya i’ve never seen so many men talk about men’s mental health month as i do under posts about pride month, that’s a big source of discourse every year between that and military appreciation month. there are a lot of loud homophobes who are u…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 08:21 AM
4

thoughts on how that “women and children first” rule only popped up around the time of the titanic and before that the standard was every man for himself
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 10:26 PM
13

so are we saying the 3 out of 10 women who get broken up with do love unconditionally or can we acknowledge this was a weird premise from the jump lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 10:24 PM
3

knew dude would find a way to keep talkin shit even after this lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 07:18 AM
3

😂😭
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 07:14 AM
2

yoinking the ever loving fuck out of gender-gate
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 04:43 AM
1

🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 01:03 AM
1

wish this one got a reply. well said.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 06:09 AM
4

great point lol also TRP is where i first heard takes like “women’s brains release permanent bonding chemicals for the man who takes her virginity so she’ll never be fully over him and that’s why you need a virgin wife” 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 05:38 AM
11

with all of my heart i hope OP reads this with an open mind and picks up a curiosity for attachment theory, so many aspects of this sub boil down to attachment stuff that people misinterpret as markers of bio essentialism but the light switch posts take the cake. very well said btw i wrote a whole thing on attachment stuff but i like your explanation better 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 05:33 AM
21

yes, absolutely fkn fascinating reframing happening on this one for sure good lord lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 05:18 AM
25

i don’t think yall realize how weird all of these hyper-gendered generalizations sound to non-straight people lol i’ve met lesbians who do both, ive met gay men who do both, ive met straight women who do both and ive met straight men who do both. i mean f me this is a question of attachment styles and the gendered stereotypes for hyper-attaching and under-attaching are ironically completely flipped compared to your take. i feel like the actual common denominator you’re getting at is a basic down…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 05:16 AM
1

mood f that noise
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 06:14 PM
1

would never let a guy friend do that unless he does it for his guy friends too, benevolent sexism makes me uncomfortable as hell
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 06:12 PM
3

bell hooks is a good one, she’s written a lot about that. I can’t remember which specific work this was but in one of them she talks about how she holds the value of supporting men’s vulnerability then she had to confront her negative reaction when he cried in front of her. one example of many personal shortcomings she introspects on along with many others that women contribute to in general
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 06:30 AM
1

idt you know how this reads to anyone who’s been in a purely non-sexual friendship with someone of the opposite sex. you’re self reporting that you’ve never seen that before.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 08:13 AM
2

because your worldviews fascinate me and i like hearing how you reconcile certain facts or values with said worldview. isn’t that why yall are here too?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 02:34 PM
2

/s?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 01:53 PM
4

holy god
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 01:52 PM
10

or they don’t meet their personal standard of compatibility and aren’t invoking any sense of badness. a puzzle piece isn’t automatically wrong for not fitting another specific one.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 01:48 PM
1

yes yes and yes
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 12:13 AM
–

i think it’s actually growing but algorithms of those outside our circle don’t reward us like it rewards the angry sensationalists.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 05:14 AM
2

exactly one of the fronts i was talking about yep, risk of pregnancy, higher risk of rape, risk of being socially punished via the sexual double standard, on top of STD concerns, and all for a lower chance at having a good time. all of that plays a role and rarely gets acknowledged on here
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 04:58 AM
4

yeah my flair has never been more relevant lol i’d bet money that’s low/fragile self esteem for both parties
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 12:16 AM
1

tf 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 11:53 PM
1

i never realized how true that last bit was for my straight friends til i saw what my Dallas bff’s DMs are like from Hinge and Facebook Dating lol there was one night we were facetiming and she shared her screen to show me how both of her most recents had started off saying they were Christian and looking for something long term then an hour in you could tell when they got horny cuz just 0 build up made sexual comments in response to her non-sexual small talk. i didn’t believe her when she said …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 11:46 PM
4

“How come men don’t realize hook ups are inherently riskier for women on like 4 different fronts with a lower chance of reward bc they might not even cum” i do wish more people appreciated both facts.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 10:39 PM
4

i’ve been called a pick-me like 5 times for holding fellow feminists accountable for their problematic bs, they never like when i mention im a whole ass lesbian 😂 just because you haven’t seen us (/maybe have an attention bias to notice men who do it and ignore women who do the same) doesn’t mean we don’t exist. i used to wonder how often redpill men had those kinds of conversations because i never saw it til i found this sub. but even before i found this sub i realized it was smarter to conclud…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 10:15 AM
1

i hear you and i had a feeling that’s the logic behind a take like that, but you also perfectly highlight exactly the leap i’m talking about. it was a thread about abusive and/or disrespectful men, that seems to be what he was invoking by saying “treat options as disposable,” in which he’s straight up saying abuse and/or disrespect of those options is ”inevitable”. that’s bold, cotton lol and that’s a faaar cry from the common human tendency you’re describing of sometimes taking people for grant…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 06:07 AM
16

that’s such a valuable perspective and one i don’t see people talk about a lot, reading that reminded me of a few moments i’ve had myself, thanks for sharing fr
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 03:12 AM
3

i won’t go as far as the other person and say you’re projecting here but i will say it’s another logic leap to assume men with options “inevitably” express a lack of basic principles of decency to have a healthy dating life. that’s gonna read as a wild one to anyone who knows men/people with options who don’t treat them as disposable kinda reminds me of the take on why “power corrupts” isn’t accurate, the take being that power doesn’t corrupt, it reveals. i’d say having options doesn’t corrupt, …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 03:08 AM
8

“raise your standards and accept the risk/reward ratio that comes with it” is not “just give up.” speaking as a lesbian who’s got even fewer options than straight men do, trust me when i say this is a message many of us need to hear, too. recipe for disaster to have low standards and marry someone who doesn’t come close to satisfying your needs just bc you don’t have options at the moment and think it’s better than being single. that’ll work for some people and it’ll make others literally want t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 12:59 AM
5

shoutout opencharacterai i don’t even need ao3 anymore 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 10:19 PM
11

“mostly” is moving mountains in that sentence, are you going off the logic that most women are attracted to traits like confidence and ambition and most narcissists/psychopaths have those traits, therefore most women go for men “likely” to be dark triad men? if so (unless i misunderstood you) that logic is beyond shakey
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 06:53 PM
14

what percent of women do you think that applies to
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 06:49 PM
34

that can happen with an attention bias for it tho, there are so many guys out here who think that applies to more women than it does. the sheer number of women who feel men are generally abusive have a similar attention bias
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 06:43 PM
1

“had privileges and expectations to match those privileges” are you saying the negative byproducts of patriarchy even out with the benevolently sexist privileges of patriarchy, or did i completely misunderstand you there? what are your thoughts on patriarchy as a practical ideology, fan or critic?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 12:28 AM
1

the fuck i look like telling a husband he has to have sex with his wife if he doesn’t want to lol she’s a grown up she can leave if her libido isn’t compatible with his. can you fr not fathom that someone would actually say yes that does go both ways? bc that’s the principle?? did you block me lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 03:53 AM
0

the irony 😱
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 03:50 AM
1

fuck yeah, two wrongs baby 🍻🍻🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 02:26 AM
0

fuckin hell man yes that does actually mean a number of wives are being maritally raped, “boo hoo” is psychopathic
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 02:22 AM
0

God forbid when women don’t
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 02:16 AM
1

absolutely tf not, ima go have some fun on that twitter thread now lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:41 AM
–

so banned by a handful of sub mods not reddit itself, just clarifying
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 08:55 AM
1

none of that is reflective of my experiences, down to the “discussions of hypergamy will get you banned on this site” this is the site i see that get discussed the most lol can’t agree, fam.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 12:08 AM
27

what % of women on here do you think are femcels?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 08:36 AM
5

absolutely yes i still identify as feminist, i think egalitarian popped up as a less gendered/baggaged version of feminist. not necessarily to appeal to redpill types but to men in general who feel put off by the label “feminist” idc which word they choose if any, principles/actions/voting habits speak the loudest 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 10:27 PM
5

wait yeah i totally missed that lol i bet 2020 was the year existing couples had the most sex and single people had the least
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 05:44 PM
7

i’m cringing
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 04:38 AM
5

I sincerely appreciate your kindness! cheers & hugs back 🍻🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 04:28 AM
28

we’re emotionally abusing them as a society, often from toddlerhood on by conditioning their worth on unhealthy masculine ideals and by demonizing anything they do that we happen to deem feminine. this contributes to self esteem and therefore life issues that people don’t have a clue about. that’s the only answer i care to give on this one, any pet peeve i have of men in general is a pet peeve i probably also have in women, don’t care to gender that
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:01 AM
1

maybe engage with the point i’m making that saying “3 mean emojis” isn’t unreasonable or inaccurate to say in response to someone calling her his primary bully?💀 cite the line that says i’m wrong to say that. and you’re misremembering that part a bit bc that exchange is literally son: “she’s saying you always will be (a virgin) that’s what they say, you’re gonna be a virgin forever, basically, and all those people have hearted which means they’re agreeing with her” dad: “ok so this is, this is b…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:10 PM
0

ik we’re talking elsewhere but just saw this reply, canonically we only know she sent 3 emojis. the only other hint we get that she may have said more was “it looks like she’s being nice, right?” so she possibly attached the emojis to sarcastic/superficially nice comments but that’s not even confirmed interesting take on it being a dog whistle, i can buy that. i’d prefer to plainly call it cyberbullying bc that’s what it is for sure, “dog whistle” to me implies that her motive was primarily ideo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 08:50 PM
1

hey cheers to that honestly. you don’t spend a lot of time scrolling sites? is this post/sub one of the rare times you do or did you search for it? just curious not even talking about the detective’s son, in ep 3 when the psych asks him to explain the emojis the extent listed are 3 emojis meaning “exploding redpill/incel,” 80/20, and “wants love, can’t get it.” yeah genuinely i would say 3 mean emojis made a mentally unhealthy girl tip over the edge, if we’re doing a proper gender/situation reve…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 08:35 PM
2

police for sure, deeefinitely agreed there but they’re also not bound by the same ethical standards that every psychologist is, this convo definitely makes me want to go learn more about forensic psychs specifically. and ah yes i forgot you said you hadn’t watched it, that helps me contextualize your take a little better, it’s bold in context of some of the things that were said and not said in ep 3 (10/10 would recommend. watching this show btw, “masterpiece” is an accurate description fr). def…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 08:04 PM
1

gooot it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 06:23 PM
0

“every discussion mentions misogyny” and “barely any discussions mention Katie’s bullying” are two different topics you conflated there. i don’t disagree that the majority of the discourse is about the role of misogyny or that your algorithm may be biased in that regard, that is definitely the main theme of the show and generally acknowledged as so. i’m calling algorithmic bias in you saying “every discussion i’ve seen completely ignores Katie’s bullying.” i took that to include online discussio…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 06:19 PM
1

i don’t follow your first response, i don’t think you have a clue how many male psychologists would cringe at this too. what’s your take on the field of psychology, i’m guessing you don’t value it much correct me if im wrong. i’ll spare you my take on what you seem to get off on here, that was a fascinating response, friend lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 06:12 PM
1

that is so interesting to hear you frame it as using insecurities to trigger reactions/info from people, i interpreted it as basic neutral probing of the insecurities but the way you say it sounds unethical, purposely cutting open emotional wounds then not following it up with closure/healing techniques. idk how that would be seen as anything but risking increased suicidality, surely this isn’t how forensic psychs see that technique
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 06:03 PM
2

my two cents, you make a good point about the school being overly permissive with the friend, but there’s more reason to believe this is a reflection of the school’s incompetence with managing and disciplining kids in general not just benevolent sexism towards her. that entire episode is to show how overwhelmed and under-resourced schools like that are (one example that stood out to me was a boy making pig noises at the cop’s son, the teacher said to talk to him after class but that struck me as…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:57 PM
2

iirc the boy’s experience with redpill culture is largely secondhand from his peers who are big into it, he said he looked it up but didn’t like most of it (he’s been shown to not exactly be the most reliable narrator but i’ve always assumed the writer’s meant us to take this part at face value), but he did say he thought the 80/20 thing was correct, and that clearly upped his insecurities. that belief arguably contributed to his decision to prey on Katie’s vulnerability, he thinks most girls wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:43 PM
1

fwiw the show creators said, almost verbatim, that literally no part of their show is based on real cases. it’s a great piece of art imo but too many people are treating it like a documentary for sure
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:33 PM
1

this i couldn’t agree more with, im big on Adolescence discourse and one toxic theme that keeps popping up is some people’s defense of calling Jamie an incel. that should never be the word we use to call out misogyny, especiallyyy to a 13 year old boy. people want to do it because it’s emotionally gratifying but we need to use the word that already means hatred of women if we want to be rhetorically effective
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:31 PM
4

wondering if yall are talking descriptively or prescriptively here, do we all agree men shouldnt feel or be shamed for losing their virginity in their 30s?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:28 PM
0

he was being sarcastic just fyi
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:24 PM
4

genuinely a /s is so necessary on this site given how many crazy people here would unironically agree with that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:23 PM
0

“every discussion of this show i saw so far has completely ignored it” brother that’s a self report of your algorithm, i actually can’t go a day of looking at Adolescence discourse without the topic of convo being Katie’s bullying, i have never been able to go 2 or 3 posts without it being acknowledged somewhere. it truly fascinates me that you think this is one of the least talked about aspects of the show. go search “bullying” on the Adolescence subreddit and count the posts that are about her…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:19 PM
3

“primary bully” is way too strong for someone who canonically only sent him 3 mean emojis. she mildly cyberbullied him for one night after feeling hurt by him asking her out on the worst day of her life (nudes leaked), i do think it’s important to note that he was physically and emotionally bullied by other boys for years but couldn’t handle a girl cyberbullying him on 3 posts without reaching for a knife.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:13 PM
2

his take is rooted in perfectionism and shame, its honestly a great example of the worst mentality we could bring to solving this issue
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:49 AM
4

holy hell of course it isn’t a good thing but i’m not talking about the concept, im talking about automatically judging single parents as if every single one deserves to be hated. i don’t think you have a clue how many psychologists would cringe at your take on shame let alone gendering it. you’re simply dead wrong, shaming all too often actually only makes people double tf down on their unhealthy coping/attachment habits, arguably more often than it promotes healthy growth. that’s because the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:46 AM
8

why see the comment you’re replying to and still frame it like a dichotomy? this post and that comment are criticizing the presence of prejudice, all that should be asked is for people to stop having that prejudice and just view them neutrally not “applaud” or “defend bad decision making.” its like seeing someone say “hey this is negative, that should stop” and going “oh so you think we should be positive and praise them?” like.. no? 😭 unless what you’re saying is that being a single mom is univ…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 05:48 PM
1

🍻🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:52 AM
3

ohp i missed the tag and just learned why people comment under this part lol anyway, repost: this is funny cuz i’ve always felt a bit of this as a gay woman with conventionally feminine women in general, and i’ve come to assume it’s bc i associate them with being straight and uninterested in me so part of me shuts any attraction down beyond “she’s very beautiful.” not perfectly related to your point but just thought i’d share i don’t necessarily agree with generalizing what you described to most…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:41 AM
2

“almost as likely to be murdered by a stranger as you are to get struck by lightning” meanwhile: rape and DV odds 💀💀💀 fascinating reply all around whew
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:34 PM
2

yes and now i’m asking for clarification about a part of his original post that could be contradictory depending on his original take. very ironic conclusion, cheers for the input 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:12 AM
2

truly love that for yall that’s awesome to hear 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:04 AM
2

i could tell that from your flair 😂 sounds like we could rant for hours together on this stuff
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 12:50 AM
3

yeah heavy on your last point, i’ve got 3 male best friends who have never engaged in our friendship like you initially described and i’d definitely characterize them as emotionally open and healthily self-sufficient. wish everyone had my experience, it makes some of these generalize-y posts seem so alien
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 12:28 AM
1

you’re just noticing that trend? (genuine Q not snarky) i stg it’s my biggest hot take that i’ve had since day 1 of discovering this sub. people are way way waaay too quick to assign gender to concepts/attitudes/behaviors that are actually just human and may or may not have gendered trends. i gotta imagine anyone with emotionally intimate friendships with people of both gender are seeing this post and cringing too. same with anyone who has a crush on a close friend, “men can only be friends with…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 12:15 AM
1

this is an interesting line of thought, but i think you’re tapping into the idea of conscious attention/compartmentalizing of feelings as opposed to eliminating them completely and never getting intrusive thoughts about it again. what you’re describing is very valuable and necessary for people with unreciprocated crushes to maintain a satisfying friendship, i just think the other person may have meant something else by “flip the switch.” attraction is involuntary, i can attest to that as a woman…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 12:04 AM
2

she’s alluding to the assumptions that men have generally been socialized away from seeking platonic intimacy from friends, and that this decrease in or lack of emotionally intimate friendships contributes to the male loneliness epidemic, expressed in an oddly framed Q I do think there’s a mountain of truth to the socialization bit, many guys are hesitant to be vulnerable with anyone out of concern of seeming weak/feminine/gay/insert negative patriarchal evaluation here * let alone with their gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 11:56 PM
3

well said, i was struggling to articulate to myself that he’s framing it as that dichotomy 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 09:47 PM
4

what percent of women do you think are attracted to and want to date an asshole? feels like you think “women who say they’re attracted to kind men” and “women who date assholes” is the same group not a standard venn diagram, pls correct me if im wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 09:43 PM
1

when you said “this is where the idea of being someone’s first comes from” you mean your post was an explanation for men who want virgins not that you’re endorsing that as an ideal? i can empathize with men who come to that conclusion about their concern (setting aside the subset of men who want a virgin out of insecurity and/or bc they see them sub/consciously as easier to manipulate) while also acknowledging it’s not the most rational solution for said concern given the nuance it ignores as ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 09:40 PM
3

just wanna say i appreciate your empathy 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 11:55 AM
5

played cod since mw2 and 75% of my gaming history is violent AMA haha. for me i think it’s a basic power fantasy thing same as ppl would guess for the average guy gamer. i definitely don’t have a desire to commit violence in real life but there’s definitely something about beating other people that scratches an ego itch that i can’t get by killing bots. maybe it’s also very simply just a competition thing bc i also get into sports and racing games. maybe it’s just circumstance that shooters are …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 01:26 PM
1

there are a lot of different ways a person can win a game but people are drawn to some of the most violent types of games, there’s definitely a power fantasy element there beyond just winning a game. speaking as someone who’s played every cod since mw2 i definitely got hooked on “killing”/beating other people in a way that killing bots doesn’t satisfy, if i had to put money on it im guessing it’s a dominance/power fantasy thing for me. i think on a similar note rape fantasies might be a lack-of-…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 01:10 PM
7

good point, effective is effective after all 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 01:26 AM
6

because bodies are different it feels good to some but not others this is a solid troll if you’re trollin i gotta give it credit
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:42 AM
12

my brother in christ because women’s bodies are different not every cervix punch feels good to every woman, you sound young as hell if you’re not trollin lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:33 AM
5

yes, correct, my flair is most relevant here
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 01:31 AM
2

that is indeed hypocritical for that subset of people who endorse virgin shaming of men and turn around saying women should never be shamed. just as hypocritical for the subset of people who endorse slut shaming women and turn around saying men should never be shamed. i’ve seen both, they both suck, fuck gendered shaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:44 AM
0

“we went on 4 dates and she still didn’t put out” types. less likely to happen than slut shaming but still happens, same as how virgin shaming is more likely to happen than Chad shaming lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:38 AM
1

agree to disagree lol. win win.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:33 AM
1

maybe but not necessarily, sounds like they might fit the “well traveled and exposed to a diversity of experiences outside of college” category pretty well.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:33 AM
3

i’m confused by your first paragraph, did i come off passive aggressive? “project bitterness” holy irony batman this was literally me throwing an olive branch like “fwiw im big on egalitarianism and think men deserve to be treated and cared for like partners” can we re-fkn-set for a sec lol jesus
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:59 PM
0

the correct way for a person to treat a person or for a partner to treat a partner, that’s my answer for “what’s the correct way for a man to treat a woman” too. that’s not a question i would gender like that, personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:50 PM
2

personally, it matters to me because of the correlation/likelihood that college educated people tend to be more open minded because they get exposed to more diverse experiences than the person who stayed in their hometown their whole life. on a similar note i’d look a bit more favorably at people with a humanities background than a business background for the same reason, or people who aren’t college educated but got to travel a lot and expose themselves to diverse experiences. i’m open to my so…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:20 PM
3

confirmation biased denial 💀 this ain’t the experience for every older woman but you’re in crazy denial if you think it’s so rare that this person must be lying to you lol ig you’re not in the camp that says men are hypersexual/have lower dating standards and women always have it easier with dating/hookups than men do
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:01 AM
3

“Looks like the insecure men are out with their validation posts” both of these takes are disingenuous as hell lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 05:57 AM
7

women don’t age faster, we tolerate men’s aging more, partly for biological factors and absolutely party for social factors that link a woman’s worth to her youth.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 05:56 AM
2

seems like a difference between relatives and absolutes, it’s relatively good that a hardcore racist went from being a neo Nazi to just normal-racist, but i’m not inclined to give them a cookie for that, im not inclined to consider it gracious or heroic when people detox from prejudice to the point where i’d frame them has having done the world a favor that everyone needs to be grateful for. genuine Q surely you don’t endorse the original quote we’re talking under, what is your full take on the …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:32 PM
5

i’m personally going with “neutral” towards anyone who was raised to perpetuate unequal norms and later corrects them. i’m less inclined to consider it a “heroic gracious act” that men gradually discriminated against us less lol a gender reversed example might be expecting women to be seen as heroic and gracious for not shitting on boys who cry or not calling them gay slurs for being mildly feminine, women were socialized into those attitudes but i’d feel weird applauding said women for introspe…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:25 PM
18

reading it adds a liiiittle more nuance than i expected given the headline but good lord no yeah im very critical of this rhetoric and the conclusion that allied men should step aside and just support us not seek office themselves. unbelievably counterproductive and counter-principle. reading that article, the phrase “hurt people hurt people” kept coming to mind. this is misery needing company, it’s pain seeking to punish others. i do think a lot is being asked of women to stomach the pain (unde…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:17 PM
3

i’m willing to bet i could google for research showing a correlation between women who watch porn and women with body image issues, i’m putting money on that being pretty common tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 07:52 PM
12

no one is disagreeing with that, they’re saying white people don’t get a cookie for righting their own wrong same as men for no longer banning us from getting our own bank accounts lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 07:46 PM
7

you’ve never heard of the classic idea of bullies being afraid of other bullies? backing down when they actually get confronted by someone their own size? what you’re describing definitely happens but so does the opposite, there are a ton of guys who only pick on women when they’re alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 07:43 PM
3

well said
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 07:36 PM
2

mine
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:31 AM
0

not to the point where it determines your self worth, that’s classic fragile self esteem at that point
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:17 AM
1

*fragile self esteem thing, is how i’d frame it. so many self esteem things all over this sub ngl
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:10 AM
1

k
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 10:30 PM
3

fwiw i was under the impression that was normal bc i watched too much TV, got to college and offended two good friends by asking about their boyfriends’ dicks. that’s normal for some women but absolutely beyond inappropriate to others and im now of the latter opinion
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 10:22 PM
3

we’re talking likelihood not absolutes right? keeping in mind this is relative to her body and what feels big/exciting specific to the individual? cuz 4 million women on the planet, im comfortable putting money on a % of women who get “dick drunk” and call average sizes big because it feels big/good/compatible to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 10:19 PM
1

reinforces an unhealthy coping mechanism for that loneliness, at least that was the case with me. if you’re doing it bc you feel neutral/bored or positive/horny that’s one thing, if you’re going it bc you feel negative/empty/lonely/depressed it’s far more likely to hurt than help. there’s a healthy balance to be found there imo that a lot of people don’t find
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 01:14 AM
1

ohhh gotcha we have wildly different values, you can have a gangbang in a safe healthy way, or you can have it in an unsafe destructive way. you personally see it as inherently shameful, I’m all ears for why you think everyone should agree with you. do you also by chance think gay sex is shameful? where’s your line for shameful vs not?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 04:37 PM
0

well said that was a weird example to pull for “schools are being feminized to a detriment” 0 thoughts on forced gendered attire my butch ass wants nothing to do with lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 08:26 PM
1

one of these examples is not like the other wtf lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 08:25 PM
-4

which just proves her point lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 08:14 PM
-2

which just proves her point lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 08:14 PM
1

what part of my comment suggests I’m pretending shame doesn’t exist? are you familiar with the difference between prescriptive and descriptive takes??
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 03:48 AM
–

fr im all for women asking men out more, im so down for that being 50/50, but im also down with women expressing their sexuality as freely as men do. I can’t help but wonder how many men want the 50/50 initiation but also still kinda sorta think women are sluts if they end up with an un-ladylink body count..
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 11:16 PM
2

aye man if it ain’t prejudiced it’s golden in my book, i hope you’re right 🍻🍻 (also hope we come up with effective secular ways of managing death anxiety but the field of psychology is a ways away from that one)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:40 PM
1

i can understand why it seems devilish to you yeah lol i see it as “never wanting to treat men and women equally” which is just so unhealthy. and ironically friend most of that literally stems from religious patriarchy, at least in the US it does. it’s hard to convince someone to reconsider their implicitly sexist biases about men and women if they think God literally designed us to be different compatible species (that just so happen to give one species significantly more power over the other i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:14 PM
1

*differences between individuals not differences between genders, i have a guy friend who’s the same as you and i’d describe my libido as very similar to the average guy, there’s too much overlap for me to think gender is the common differentiator. your friend should have never put any kind of pressure on you or anyone else for her individual feelings toward sexuality, I’m sorry you experienced that! could not like your second half enough, agreed with every word and great example! shame reflects…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:04 PM
1

shame does that with the massively fkd up side effect of wrecking self esteem. shame shouldn’t be glorified here, we can achieve healthy goals by just promoting healthy balance. feeling too much anxiety/caution/fear of risks that you become sexually repressed is bad, feeling not enough caution that you experience unhealthy consequences is bad. shame should never be the tool we use to promote a healthy balance, we can do it without that (not necessarily directed at you if you’re just being techni…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:58 PM
2

definitely out of insecurity yeah. same with anyone who virgin shames men. patriarchal values are damn near designed to induce these insecurities with how strict and fkd up its gendered standards are
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:54 PM
1

weird logic, ppl can be here wanting to express opinions, run into individuals they get heated with and decide they don’t care about that particular individual’s opinion lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:48 PM
3

well said
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:45 PM
2

i was raised catholic and in a red state, absolutely yes i experienced shame, especially over the thought of masturbating. highly recommend you google the sexual double standard, that’s the dynamic you’re getting at. girls are raised to feel pressure to not express sexuality at tf all and men are raised to feel pressure to be hypersexual. the result is that women are slut shamed and men are virgin shamed.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:42 PM
–

“it’s not men bragging to others and climbing the social ladder” your take is truly that this never happens? boys in particular never get pressured/rewarded for engaging in broadcasting their “sexual conquests” and they never dominance-bond (or bully, at worse) over how much more pussy or how many more bases they get than their friends? i don’t know how you could read my comment specifically ending with “and a lot of feminists perpetuate patriarchal values too” and conclude that i’m saying women…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:56 PM
–

i mean my take is literally that both of those examples, men engaging in slut shaming and women virgin-shaming men are both the byproducts of internalized patriarchal values, there’s no contradiction in my take there, wouldn’t you agree? and i actually specifically said that yesterday on a thread about Katie in that show Adolescence, people are defending her calling a boy an incel and i’ve been arguing that that’s virgin-shaming and a reflection of patriarchal values, that girls are expected to …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:48 PM
–

100% agreed that not all, arguably not most, toxic behavior is clinically abnormal/diagnosable, but still how are you defining an egomaniac then? i’d say that’s an even harsher label and implies the full blown disorder but maybe i’m in the minority on that. i also respect your perspective on the label of narcissist, tho just because NPD is a thing doesn’t mean there’s no value in acknowledging that some people are on the spectrum without quite hitting the diagnostic threshold. there’s a lot of m…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:34 PM
–

shoot my immediate thought is that feminism isn’t even solely about the rights of women it’s about challenging patriarchal values, and those are the things that victimize men every day in ways our society doesn’t readily talk about. this includes perfectionist/toxic standards around masculinity and being a man, prejudices against gender nonconformity, and specifically prejudice against men’s gender nonconformity in being seen as any kind of feminine. sexist values like perpetuating a masculine h…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:51 AM
6

on the contrary i’d say it reflects how deeply ingrained our centuries of patriarchal values still are in every day life. how many girls have been slut shamed for kissing boys and wearing spaghetti strap tops, especially in religious families/communities that make up a majority of the US pop? how many preschool boys get called gay and girly by parents and peers just for crying? the rise of feminism and sexual liberation doesn’t mean those patriarchal values disappeared. “i know two women born in…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:25 AM
4

penny for your thoughts if you’d say the same about men who end up with women who don’t respect them? i wouldn’t but maybe that’s optimistic of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:21 AM
4

Tinder statistics and okCupid could never ever tell you about a majority of the 4 billion girls and women on this planet, talk about a generalizability issue, let alone be used to conclude over 50% of women date guys who don’t respect them. these are major leaps in logic being made here, friend i’ll even hypothetically grant that what you’re saying is true, that would only change my take to saying that that majority of women have severe self esteem issues. i do actually believe a majority of peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 05:04 AM
3

yeah that is also a bad/unhealthy thing for that subset of low self esteem women to do
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 12:22 AM
1

toxic and narcissistic people being/seeming confident doesn’t make confidence toxic also wondering if everyone in the thread has the same concept in mind when they use that word
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 02:23 PM
2

how are we defining egomaniacs here? my understanding is that that’s just a colloquial term for just being narcissistic but i see elsewhere you see a difference between narcissists and egomaniacs? to me this is like saying Anti Social PDs exist and are different from psychopaths but i’ve always understood psychopaths to be very extreme ASPDs
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 05:16 AM
2

yesss not to mention the lesbophobic “every lesbian secretly wants dick” bs, that androcentrism runs deep (big fan of like everything you’ve written in these threads, cheers 🍻)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 01:18 AM
0

yeah that’s why i made the caveat right after saying that but yeah let me elaborate that there’s a difference between having a preference for masculine men and having a negative judgment for perceived feminine men. i think the former is totally fine and the latter is problematic, and i personally think most women who say they’d never date a bi man tend to be somewhere on the spectrum of the latter
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 01:12 AM
3

well said
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 09:17 PM
7

you just reminded me about the sheer number of women who do not believe bi men exist, they think if you like dick then you can’t like women, it’s so bizarrely illogical
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 09:15 PM
1

flaw that women have what, as an entire gender? no and i’d say the same about any woman who tries to say there are flaws that men have that can’t be blamed on social conditioning. social conditioning runs deeper than most people are comfortable admitting.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 09:14 PM
1

oh 100% i couldn’t agree with you more, people don’t realize how closely intertwined they are til you point out how hard it is to find an insult to gay men that isn’t rooted in anti-femininity/calling gay men feminine. i definitely think for a lot of this type of woman, they associate it with femininity in a negative way, and what does that say about their view of femininity? (and let me caveat that idt this applies to all women who don’t wanna date bi men but it definitely is for ever female fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 09:12 PM
0

i’d apply this same analysis to men too tho, that a ton of bad behaviors and beliefs by both genders are rooted in social conditioning (and i’ve challenged women who say that’s overly compassionate and letting men off the hook, like no, it’s a basic and valid explanation not an excuse). internalized prejudice of any kind is damn near at the top of that list, i mean we all start internalizing prejudiced messages by elementary school. in this case “i don’t want to date bi men because none of them …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:03 PM
-6

porque no los dos? thoughts on how internalized misogyny can make a ton of women homophobic? sometimes those aren’t linked for people but in my experience the women and men i know who struggled the most with internalized gender prejudice were the ones most comfortable not just expressing but justifying homophobia
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 02:56 PM
2

fascinating, probably not much to be gained in chatting further
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:32 AM
1

is there even a middle ground term for guys between chads and betas or is it truly that black and white of a worldview
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:50 AM
2

do you think 99% of women would join the harems of thugs gangsters and robbers? what serious % would you give there? i’m comfortable arguing the women you’re talking about make up a minority of women and probably don’t have great self esteem, same with people men or women who choose to stay with abusive partners and full blown rapists. i absolutely think there’s a temptation to see insecure women’s behavior and generalize it as woman behavior. exact same thing happens to men too, tons of people …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:45 AM
4

love this entire comment thanks for sharing all that, especially a fan of your first paragraph. i’m a firm believer that low self esteem is the hidden common denominator for a lot of the things people are critical of on here. hell, everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:45 AM
2

i’m a lesbian who’s constantly irked by the benevolent sexism people throw at me, it’s obvious when i’m being “treated like a woman” in ways guys wouldn’t treat their guy friends. hold the door for me if you’d do it for anyone, kinda thing. i’m good with ending that and getting a draft card idgaf
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 09:22 PM
10

solid bridge to be built between straight men and lesbians on that one lol “developed feelings for a friend” describes most of my crushes and i’m quick to point that out to women who give men shit for it. it’s one thing to be sad about a friend developing unreciprocated feelings for you and the friendship being different, it’s another to automatically assume the worst about it
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 07:05 PM
2

it’s amazing how many people criticizing DEI can’t even steelman it. no they’re not saying women inherently can’t compete, the take is that the explicit or implicit biases of traditional good ole boy management resulted in women and minorities not getting nearly as much of a fair shake as straight white guys, for almost the entire history of this country. anyone here familiar with the Emily/Greg vs Lakisha/Jamal job application experiment? thats what DEI is meant to combat: real, centuries-old i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 06:45 PM
2

you think telling people “don’t think this way” is an infringement on rights? ironically by that logic it could very easily be said that you’re infringing on their right to free speech by saying this lol i could go find some of the craziest most misogynistic posts on the internet arguing that women should be silent housewives and second class citizens, but I wouldn’t say they’re automatically infringing on my rights just by saying that crazy bs
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 06:39 PM
3

is there any way a person could answer the question “why don’t you like dating apps” with anything along the line of “bc it seems like 90% of guys on there just want a hook up” where you wouldn’t think they’re blaming the male gender? you’re pseudo-accusing her of being judgmental af by judging tf out of her comment. off the rip with “if it feels that way then you’re the problem” good lord lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:13 AM
6

i hear ya, definitely worth noting how a lot of awkwardness can give a totally different impression sometimes, and how that awkwardness gets compounded by not getting matches regularly (i say empathetically as a lesbian in a rural-ish red area, still ain’t quite as bad as the average straight guy but i can somewhat empathize with “limited options sucks in a number of ways”)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:11 PM
1

cracks me up when there’s a decent chunk of guys on this sub who would say that’s a low estimate and the 1/10 non-sexual authentic guys are just the best liars lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 09:59 PM
–

oh also “same gender can’t ask questions to their own gender” i hope there’s a good reason for this cuz it seems dumb on the surface, it’s not like the pills are strictly gendered tf
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 03:47 AM
–

sex with a person i knew probably like 12, fantasies with celebrities probably 9 or 10, first time I’d subconsciously sexualized something in my head was when i was like 5 or 6 watching kids movies and replaying power dynamic scenes a hundred times lol least that’s the first sign of it i can remember edit also no history of abuse at all, no porn til i was 10. no clue if its my adhd or if i watched the wrong pg13 movie at 4 or if my brain’s always been wired for the hyper 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 03:25 AM
0

👍
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 07:18 AM
2

or bc they have an extensive history having sex with non-virgins and aren’t always just lying lol not to mention most of the men i’ve heard say this are from an online community/sub that’s 90% male, assume every single one is lying and secretly shares your preference if you want ig
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 07:17 AM
2

some women literally can’t handle 6 inches and have pornstar sex with much much smaller than average guys, beware of assuming that generalization is universal. and i’m not talking about a teeny tiny % of the population here lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 07:10 AM
8

you’re basing it on what algorithms show you, fam.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 07:07 AM
6

and i know no men who only want to marry a virgin lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 06:37 AM
5

“inherent in men that we’ll never be able to explain” it’s not inherent in men if millions of men don’t care for a virgin wife, this seems very culturally driven and i’ve yet to see a take that didn’t just read as “because it bothers me” on a basic insecurity level this is a whole thing in the lesbian community, some women have dating requirements that women they date have to have never been with a man and must be “gold star lesbians.” not just that they don’t date bi women or that they want a p…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:07 AM
2

some men don’t want inexperienced partners
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:54 AM
3

commenting in case this gets a reply
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:07 AM
14

anyone judging you for working on yourself especially in your mid 20s is self-reporting their own bs that’s for sure lol f people like that
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 01:02 AM
13

agreed, i think the healthiest people are the ones who could live without a partner and be ok but choose to look for one because having a partner would make their life even better, not because they’ll be miserable without one
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 12:59 AM
1

yeah that describes my brother in law, perfect stereotype of a guy who thinks because he’s not explicitly misogynistic that he can’t possibly be implicitly misogynistic (/racist/homophobic) i appreciate your Q btw tho, helped me take a moment of gratitude that the worst cases of misogyny in guys i know IRL were either edgy moronic kids i knew in high school or the implicit types like my BiL, not explicit like so many examples here. and also taking gratitude for how the vast majority of men in my…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 04:59 AM
5

fr personal self esteem growth/improving your relationship with yourself, that’s the bread and butter of an NFL team psych i know. but it also involves a ton of educating on social pressure/conditions of worth and attachment insecurity/rejection fear that a lot of people arent willing to touch with a 10 foot pole for a number of reasons. hard to unsee the patterns of it on subs like this (speaking as someone who shares the struggle)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 02:28 AM
–

the administration that aligns closest with TRP is attacking entire gender/womens studies departments btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:15 PM
-1

most successful guy i knew in hs was 4’11 coming into freshman year, had like 7 gfs by then, graduated at 5’6 with a dozen more, found an attractive wife an inch taller than him and they’ve been happily together since ‘16, sometimes personality + healthy ego + a decent face wins out. idt yall realize how these takes sound to people who know short guys like him lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 04:28 AM
1

beat me to it: balance.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 04:18 AM
3

*solely focusing on yourself is the defining trait of an asshole, being healthy is about having a healthy balance. do you really see this that black and white?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 04:17 AM
2

you misread their take hard, she’s saying “a post can have a lot of likes and still only be viewed/endorsed by a minority of women.”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 02:15 AM
–

gotcha. 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 11:59 PM
–

🍻🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 07:51 PM
10

i was so big on the concept of unconditional love until someone pointed that out to me, so “healthily conditioned love” is my new fav term
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:37 PM
–

you endorse every word of that text i take it?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:35 PM
–

brother isn’t it that 1 in 3 identify as lgbt and the vast majority of that are bi women? are you open to the possibility that most or at least a significant portion of lesbians don’t hate men? and for those who are hateful (i’m the type to call it out when i see it myself) your disdain seems reactive to theirs, but don’t you think theirs is reactive to bad hateful experiences they’ve had with men? not even trying to argue, im just fascinated at this point
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:34 PM
–

sure, and i absolutely think that’s a natural inclination for some women regardless of social pressures. for other women i think there are dozens of layers of social pressures that contribute to those women feeling like their self worth is tied to the masculinity level of the man they date, i worry about that being overlooked as bio essentialist. anecdotally the women in my life who expressed those takes happened to be on the lower self esteem end so i have to be up front that that biases me
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:31 PM
2

in exchange for being raped every night, good trade
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 06:19 PM
–

i respect your perspective, confident and cocky don’t strike me as any kind of innately sexist but benevolently sexist chivalry i buy a majority of straight women liking in some form or another. tho not to “exception proves the rule” levels, let alone on wanting to be led and controlled lol i’d need to see more than one study’s abstract to buy that that’s anywhere close to bio essentialist rule-level
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 10:02 AM
–

what % of women do you think want a sexist man? do you have access to the full article you linked, like what were the details there or are you going off the abstract when you say things like this lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 09:36 AM
–

there are definitely limitations and blind spots for gay ppl on all of this but some of yall are way too quick to dismiss the unique value gay perspectives can bring on a lot of it. at least to those who are open to concepts like gendered socialization impacting dating habits
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 09:32 AM
3

love what you wrote & that gentle/gentleman point is particularly interesting 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 02:12 AM
1

minus the male feminist bit (definitely applies to a subset) this is the single most “fuck yes” comment i’ve read on this sub. your articulation is fantastic and i’m screenshotting for future convos online and irl fr 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 02:10 AM
–

OP i don’t have time to read all that but check out Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, might be a framework you’re looking for
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 07:45 AM
7

the first statement is about how she learned that some photos can be false positives, second statement is how she knows other photos are true negatives for her personal taste. essentially saying unattractive looks are a valid automatic no but attractive looks aren’t the valid automatic yes that her early-dating self assumed.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 09:44 AM
11

what are you basing that on? or was that a weird joke lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 09:13 AM
10

you say this like you simply have different values from her but don’t realize this is about values lol “like your entire personality is built around values” is how this reads
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 08:52 PM
1

genuinely appreciate that 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 07:07 PM
2

that is the only comment you interpreted as sympathetic? if this was a woman you absolutely would’ve interpreted that following as sympathetic. “I only hope that she was sleeping and didn’t feel anything and died in her sleep instantly. Poor little baby. I fucking hate it. I hate it so much. Stupid child services, his stupid parents, stupid system, stupid unlivable wages, stupid lack of support for single parents and people with mental health issues. I fucking hate it all. An orphanage would rai…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 06:36 PM
1

DM’ed.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 12:44 PM
1

that is now twice my comment has been removed, won’t try again and risk getting a ban. search “father murder suicide child” and look for a post from 4 days ago headlined “father’s desperate attempt to end life with daughter…”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 12:09 PM
2

just throwin this out there but i went and searched “father murder suicide kid,” a few posts down is an article/post from 3 days ago about a father doing this to his daughter, comments are a solid mix of anger and sympathy for the man who was clearly mentally unwell (comment removed if i add link ugh) i 100% buy that this is less likely to happen with male perps than female perps, and that’s 100% worth analyzing from several different angles, but anyone implying that men almost never get this tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 03:25 AM
1

just throwin this out there but i went and searched “father murder suicide kid,” a few posts down is an article/post from 3 days ago about a father doing this to his daughter, comments are a solid mix of anger and sympathy for the man who was clearly mentally unwell (comment removed if i add link ugh) i 100% buy that this is less likely to happen with male perps than female perps, and that’s 100% worth analyzing from several different angles, but anyone implying that men almost never get this tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 03:25 AM
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working on a (tryna keep it short) draft during these playoff games i gotchu by tonight :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 09:55 PM
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hey thanks for the reply i’d love to chat. i’m gonna DM so i can get a bit personal, hoping i at least have some interesting things for you to hear 🍻
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 09:23 PM
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friend you have no clue how this sounds to anyone who knows a healthy happy mutually-vulnerable couple. there is a whole way of life out there you do not know about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 10:49 AM
3

i’ll bite if you’re down for a convo on patriarchy, is your understanding of it always as a conscious conspiracy of men building a world to oppress women? what would be your best serious steelman of its existence? i’ve never met a feminist irl who thinks women can’t/dont reinforce patriarchy or never have a responsibility to introspect and detox too, do yall really only ever hear the opposite fr? not comin at ya it’s just crazy how different ppl’s experiences can be
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 05:51 AM
2

i mean not if the one thing they care to talk about is that there’s one example they think is particularly lacking
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 05:40 AM
0

tbf that’s the type that gets popular, i’m not familiar with redpill influencers who don’t align with 90% of the things ive heard from F&F
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 07:01 PM
11

creating a safe place for partners to be vulnerable; introspecting if their vulnerability negatively changes how you see them
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 11:41 AM
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yeah we can probably relate a lot in that department, i grew up with damn near non existent self esteem and and really struggled with accepting how hard it would be to find someone. i’ve been a lesbian in red areas my whole life, found myself empathizing with men’s small dating pool real fkn early lol not worth their time sure, but i think the healthiest thought is ig we’re just not compatible/that’s a shame for both of us that she wouldn’t give it a chance. the kind of personal i’m talking abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 07:45 AM
1

my version of saying self esteem is one of if not the biggest issues in the world and manifests on both sides of PPD topics in ways that almost always go completely unseen or misunderstood. for example this post is 100% about self esteem, low self esteem is essentially self-rejection and makes one susceptible to harsher impacts of rejection from others (including non romantically). anyone having “is there something wrong with me?” as in like deeply personally and maybe permanently wrong, is some…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 06:39 AM
1

agreed the science is murky, i think a ton of science around most convos on this sub are murky and don’t warrant the confidence they get (@ me/my takes as well) ok so bear with me lol (edit topical pun not intended) you open to hearing why that article probably isn’t that crazy? were you even able to read it? i can’t i’m just goin off the abstract but i mean isn’t this basically a gender spin on what we already know about about mating preferences, that they’re somewhat impacted by culture? (like…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 06:28 AM
5

something along the lines of reciprocal avoidance/rejection maybe, where you start trying to beat people to the punch of rejection by rejecting them first with non-engagement (or negative engagement ala hurt people hurt people) or just basic negative reinforcement? idk feel like there’s another term i’m missing and it’s gonna bug me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 10:17 PM
1

Honestly, practicing self-compassion is the #1 way i get through rejection, romantic or otherwise. recognizing things i maybe could have done better but ultimately realizing i couldn’t have changed much/it was out of my control, also helps. a specific mental exercise i get benefits from is putting a loved one in my shoes and seeing how i feel about their perceived failures and rejections. i tend to be way way more compassionate and forgiving of others and not internalize their rejection as a ref…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 10:13 PM
2

i had a convo with OP yesterday where he claimed “studies show women have nearly identical preferences” in a convo about whether women go after the same top tier men and are therefore more ruthless in mate competition compared to men. someone asked for the study and he said he wouldn’t cite it bc it was common sense. i called that a cop out and said i buy most women prefer tall men with steady incomes but that doesn’t describe top tier men, and a convo on deeper preference patterns on that would…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 06:06 AM
1

pls for the love of god don’t tell me that last bit was for me, asking for a study on the claim “women’s preferences are nearly identical” in the same reply where i said i buy most women want tall guys with steady incomes lol benefit of the doubt you meant someone else and weren’t being disingenuous af in that edit 💀
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 06:01 AM
0

wait are you referring to them replying to the OP, or a farther down reply? if it’s to the OP how is it accepting that framework by directly addressing and criticizing it; how could one do that without accepting said framework?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 05:48 AM
2

it’s telling men to do it bc it has a higher likelihood of achieving the outcomes they want. if people can’t appreciate the value of increased likelihood despite a lack of guarantees then that speaks to personal issues with analytical decision making anyway fr. not much different from saying there’s no point to eating healthier if it doesn’t completely eliminate the risk of heart disease, like ok fam GL to em 😬
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 05:46 AM
0

everything you said was refreshingly compatible with my flair, i damn near wish my flair would just link to this post. self-improving for internal/personal benefits >>> self-improving for external/interpersonal benefits. if you can only get started using the latter then do what ya gotta do but people who find their way to the former have the highest chances of it sticking/working
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 05:40 AM
1

i don’t even necessarily agree with the OP but that’s a pretty wild strawman of it. they were talking about risks and likelihoods not categorical condemnation
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 05:11 AM
5

can i pick your brain on your “masculinity is safety + competence” take, would you agree that’s just good for adults in general? my attention always gets caught when i see people talk about how they define masculinity bc ive yet to hear a description that can’t just be used for good healthy adults in general. like a good mother should make her kids feel safe and be capable of solving problems/handling shit, but we wouldn’t describe it as masculinity in that context. not tryna come at ya, i come …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 04:16 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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