Lady_Agatha_Mallowan Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
37	Sharing my story: "jUsT cOmMuNiCatE bEtTeR" can be the gateway to abuse Some people with personality disorders have "cognitive empathy" but do not have "affective empathy." (source -- Dr. Grande on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK3zFkqInzE) This means they can KNOW what someone else is feeling (cognitively) but their own emotions are not affected by the person's emotions. That's how abusers can be so good at predating on others -- they know what you are feeling but don't feel anything themselves. Your ex sounds like a very scary person, I'm so glad you es…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/06/21 10:26 PM
4	Happy to be here ! You are learning a whole new way of seeing the world and interacting with people! Of course you are overwhelmed. You will be ok, it takes time to really internalize the mindset and to change your behavior accordingly. You may say or do things that you later realize didn't fit in with the FDS mindset. That's ok, and not something to be ashamed of. We're all learning, all the time -- we're all deprogramming from an entire lifetime spent in the patriarchy.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/06/21 10:16 PM
86	Men who watch porn are losers. all I can think of is a monkey at the zoo beating off while all the humans watch it in disgust	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/06/21 02:35 AM
4	As a married woman, FDS Principles have measurably alleviated my anxiety HELL. YES. I'm so proud of you! Story time: My experience is on the other side of the equation, a big part of my leveling up has been stepping up and not letting my partner be the only "adult" in the relationship. We both got sucked into this codependent spiral where he would overperform which I responded to by underperforming, which would lead to him overperforming even more, etc. I'm not proud of how I acted. Yeah I had low self-esteem and anxiety etc etc but no matter how good it felt to be t…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/06/21 02:14 AM
2	Weekly FDS Check-in Make friends with other HVW and join their social circles? HV people tend to hang out with other HV people. Or, just go about being your fabulous self and trust that the universe will give you what you need (whether that is a HVM or not). HVM are simply very rare and difficult to find, sadly.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/05/21 07:16 PM
2	Weekly FDS Check-in I don't have kids so I don't have specific advice -- but it's awesome you're raising a queen! It would be great to have a flair or something for posts that are aimed specifically for pre-teens, then they could be collected over time into a handbook for girls.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/05/21 07:02 PM
7	Always felt Electra complex had something off about it. Now it makes so much more sense. I feel many other women can benefit from knowing this anecdote. From "Why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft. Freud definitely betrayed his patients when he abandoned the trauma theory of hysteria in favor of the "drive theory." Interesting note, though, Freud also diagnosed himself with hysteria. In many ways he had very similar symptoms to his patients. He came up with the theory of the Oedipus Complex after seeing a play about Oedipus and recognizing himself in the character of Oedipus (making Freud himself the first person ever to be diagnosed with an Oedipus Complex!). The psychologist Alice Miller…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/05/21 03:48 PM
1	16 and need guidance from an older woman Feelings are not the same as actions. You are ALWAYS entitled to your feelings. Your feelings will not hurt anyone, they are not even anyone else's business. Your feelings are part of you and it is important to acknowledge and honor them. Strong feelings like anger and resentment are painful to feel sometimes but they are important information about yourself that you need. You can feel your feelings without acting on them. Just because you are angry doesn't mean you have to say hurtful things or…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/05/21 03:21 PM
8	Men and women's notion of rejection You make an important point here -- LVM experience women having boundaries as rejection. The fact that they don't understand the difference shows just how entitled they feel when it comes to us. A boundary is someone stating what they prefer, it's a statement about who they are as a person. It's saying "this is what I am comfortable with and no further/nothing more." That's different than rejection/acceptance which is a statement about someone or something else. A rejection is "I don't like th…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	27/05/21 03:01 PM
4	I loved what Tracer Ellis Ross had to say about settling down A friend and I were discussing weddings the other day, and how much emphasis people put on the appearance of a wedding. It's not bad to care about having a beautiful wedding, but we both agreed that wouldn't it be better if people cared a bit more about having a beautiful marriage?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	27/05/21 02:44 PM