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LawfulnessSuper5091 Archive

View 1 post and 200 comments by LawfulnessSuper5091 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
14

LawfulnessSuper5091/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 03:01 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

This is on the money.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:23 AM
2

OP I get plenty of dates, you look pretty good. Go forth and conquer.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 08:49 AM
2

Good luck OP, it's not easy out there. My suspicion is you look better than you think, take care.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 07:44 AM
6

Not to downplay your challenges, but that's not usually what people mean. (And less attractive guys are given the same advice on here all the time) Get fit, slim or athletic, if you don't have some disability preventing it. If you're not doing serious exercise at least 4 times a week and watching the excess carbs you're not serious. This won't make life easy but will definitely improve your prospects.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 05:29 AM
8

Honest direct answer, in most cases a good fit bod will definitely supplement a face that isn't so conventionally attractive. Similar applies to men who aren't great looking. A good bod won't change a 3 into a 9, but it might lift them to a 5 or 6. Remember also youth is relative to some degree, and is perhaps the most powerful factor of all. If you're 30 and not getting the love, try scanning fit, handsome, decently employed men quite a bit older. Like height or other factors, being a bit more …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 05:24 AM
2

I feel like this might be an issue for quite a few of the guys on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 01:59 AM
3

I agree, but he needs to do both. Having a life will open opportunities and give him more depth and outlets. That said, I think you do need to view it as a bit of a task, if it's not currently going well for you. Just that what some people mean by that may be different to what I'd suggest. Eg just hitting up more women while whining on reddit, less. Looking at his own strengths and weaknesses with honesty, attacking the gym, social skills, getting a better sense of style, whatever it is, more so…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 01:48 AM
1

"Based on my observations" Based on my incessant online content swallowing... Most men can experience it. One simplistic mistake guy make here is projecting male sexuality precisely. What I mean is we are more visual, and there's a lot of rule based autistic reasoning too, so the missing gap between "she gets wet just looking at him from a distance" and "she wants his job and personality to settle with" is the huge territory, well compatible with evolutionary biology, where women become intensel…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 01:49 AM
1

Here we go again with 'average men' as a euphemism for being a 3 with poor social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 12:13 AM
4

Somewhat true but as even acknowledged by the strongly feminist philosopher Amia Srinivasan, it's complicated. It is not in fact merely like ping pong.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 12:07 AM
1

Until 35 or so maybe. I'm an over 50 man, and dating is now easier for me than reasonably attractive but not exceptional women close to my age. It was the reverse when we were 25, I freely admit. Many of them can pull a bonk any night, but you're talking about more than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:08 AM
–

I don't doubt it, and I feel massively for women who have to go through it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:41 AM
–

I am with you, Ronniebbb, within reason - ie the person who is struggling still making some time for some sort of intimacy, once she is through the worst of it. Only gripe I have with this is how standard it is at least in my (white liberal Australian) circles for women to dump men due to anxiety, PTSD and the like. And I'm not talking cases where they're getting violent, just maybe struggling to show up 100% for a while. The idea that mental health isn't part of 'sickness and health' is gauche,…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:34 AM
2

Yep. Mostly I have a tonne of great options within ten years of my age, but have definitely found women late 20s onwards sometimes respond, and occasionally even make the first move. And these are not the ones asking for money or princess treatment either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 10:25 PM
1

This. And we get better and knowing ourselves and deciding how we show up.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 10:19 PM
4

Same. I've had numerous good female friends in my life. I don't suddenly crack on to them when drunk though, and make them feel safe. It's true that there's at some point some hint of potential attraction with any woman I'm comfortable with, on one level, but I didn't find it too difficult to keep boundaries in place and think of them as a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 10:14 PM
0

As a man just over 50 it definitely gets easier and better as we're older. And yes that includes younger ones, my current gf is in her 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:59 AM
1

I'm just over 5 but thicker than average (use a large franga). My impression is thickness helps more than length, but of course everyone is different. I would ideally like another inch or so, but I do occasionally hit the cervix even at my length so I would think if it were over 7 it'd be hard to bury to the hilt. Although it would look good when you dropped your dacks...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 06:56 AM
2

My split was also late 2023 and sometimes it hits me very hard. It does get better overall though, know that, there is light at the end. Once you feel ready, light dating, contact with other women, is very nice. You start to realise there is the possibility of better experiences down the line. Especially at 32, the world is still your oyster. Learn, accept and sit with some pain, but also think about the good things that can happen and start to take charge of what you can control. Exercise is ex…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/26 04:48 AM
1

I would step in, and yes he's a complete POS. And no it's not torture, just enjoyable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:44 AM
1

Haha open to debate. But more likely. Dig deeper into rap, extremely dominant among young men, beyond say Drake and (ironically) Kendrick, and things get pretty lascivious. My comment is very tongue in cheek. But I would say boys like Bieber and Styles are very much marketed at young women. Is there a grain of truth in obverving that broadly in mainstream circles the lines around what is accepted and encouraged are drawn slightly more by women? Yes, I think so. Age gap politics is probably the c…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 01:07 AM
3

Well she's not, however that would not make her a bad example. The whining little fellas my comment is directed to are, to a tee, seeking Pennys not Amy Farrah Fowlers.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 01:21 AM
1

Harry Styles and Justin Bieber are not men's music. I can't believe I have to say this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 09:22 AM
14

What do you mean? An average woman is 23 years old, looks like Milly Alcock, is a virgin with no kids, and lies in bed dreaming of a handsomely chubby 5'6 gaming addict to bring beers and blowjobs to while wearing her nurse outfit.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 03:31 AM
4

Don't forget dating over 40 which matches the above, but also drives home that men's frequent preference for slightly younger women is absolutely appalling, while women wanting to dump their husband for whatever (sometimes good, sometimes trite) reason, bang a few 33 year old tradies to get it out of their system, then still land a guy not only their own age but also fit, tall, gainfully employed and so forth is the acceptable model. The hypocrisy on that page is galling... and it does annoy me …
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 01:04 AM
2

Meanwhile, the venn diagram overlap between men on here who say they just want woman who like them for their nice personality, and men who want a 23 year old onlyfans looker with less than 5 sexual partners, no fat, no kids, etc, does often feel rather big. "Nice". See also "average men can't".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 12:32 AM
9

I'm a sensitive man who takes women's feedback to heart and I'm in the dating pool. Being autistic or sensitive feeling in yourself is not the same as sensitive to her. I think in fact it's clear much of the problem for many men on this sub is a LACK of ability to sensitively take on and respond to feedback. Responding to feedback isn't circle jerks on reddit. Responding to feedback is precisely the ability to act on small words and cues that allows you to talk to women in real life and be appro…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:37 PM
2

Ah that's rough my friend. About the same as me, similar age and 20ish year relationship when she ended it. Wasn't as toxic as yours though, that hits hard. Difficult as it is, moving through the anger quickly to just putting her at arm's length as you sort your affairs, trying to be as business like and pragmatic as possible, will help you move forward I think. People get bogged in legal fights partly because they are angry and hurt - very understandable in your case. But just think of her as a…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 06:03 AM
2

No, it is not. Glad to hear it. At least you won't need my third prescription for men who separate in middle age; cialis! Although taking control of your health more generally is a big one for all of us, and not being shamed/talked out of things that ease the life journey.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 10:17 PM
18

Hey welcome. Throughout my life I've found a lot of common ground with bi and lesbian women. Male areas can certainly also become 'it's all her fault' or fall into gender hatred, but I haven't had much of that vibe here so far. You bring a unique perspective and could probably also teach people here stuff. But also no doubt you'll see some things straight women don't. I have a bi friend who has largely seen men. And after she started dabbling into dating women, I think she was surprised as some …
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:48 AM
3

I like having my own space, less from my kids but definitely my regularly critical ex. I've put a lot of time into my fitness and activities I enjoy like salsa. And once I figured out how to maximise dating apps and other opportunities, going out with woman has been a delight. I would never have thought that in 2 years, in my very early 50s, I would have more lovers than I did my entire 20s before I got married, but here we are. You'll be ok, show up for your kid and otherwise live your best lif…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 04:44 AM
1

Look, I'm pretty liberal. But I do hate hypocrisy. And that sub is just loaded to the walls with women's concerns. Eg a guy posted the other day saying he is almost 50 and is ready to give up, and a string of comments landed like "Are you searching on your age range" and "bet he doesn't like curvy women". Now, it's always worth considering if you're being a bit narrow. But how many women on there don't go for guys 5'3 or - very likely - don't have a decent job? Or... are more than 5 years older …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 02:25 AM
1

Why thank you 🙏🏼 your luck landed and I'm chatting to a nice woman just over 40 as we speak, date lined up.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 10:34 PM
1

Good chat, thanks lads for the input. Confirms that on reddit, just like elsewhere, there is not in fact a moderate standalone place for venting middle aged man dating issues. Perhaps here is the closest, some good thoughts in these comments and we all know what it feels like to stumble back out into the world single, then get a list of demands about how and who you can date. Go well people.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 01:22 AM
1

True. Yet, they seem ok (mostly?). I think she's most at risk, he's a very sharp looking powerful French leader who will absolutely be able to do a Trudeau and pull a hot 40 year old in his 50s. Will their love last? I actually hope so but we'll see.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 04:40 AM
1

I mean, I have some sympathy. What I feel is that things have shifted a lot since the 20s and 30s and suddenly men are a bit more able to be picky. And the women are often still adjusting to that. But writing new rules to try and shame men out of living their best lives (at the same time as publishing and sharing endless podcasts and books about dumping your husband etc) is to me transparently a case of wanting to have cake and eat it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 04:38 AM
1

Haha well. I do sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 04:35 AM
0

Don't mind being taken apart by a good woman 🤣 I don't think it's so female dominated at my age. But the rhetoric and social rules - well, yes, very gendered.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 04:33 AM
1

Yeah this is so true. One of my petty annoyances with the age gap stuff is that many women my age, what you'd call liberal and middle class, go on bonking sprees with much younger tradies and gym bros when they get single, until they feel ready to get serious. They don't shout about it as much (though a few have admitted it in pillow talk with me) and don't even need to catch side eyes from judgy people on expensive dates because if a woman says to a guy 'come over to mine and rail me then go ho…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 04:29 AM
1

I wouldn't dump on Macron either, yes that's a pretty big gap, but in a world of screwed up relationships they look pretty good to me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 01:56 PM
2

I'm hearing you. Including about not going to extremes. I'll look that up. A mate sent me John Griffin's vids but I admit I didn't see eye to eye with him and thought a real streak of contempt for women made itself apparent. Same with quite a few you tubers giving out man advice. It's not how I feel, I just think we guys have some individual stuff that doesn't need to be mediated via the gatekeepers of femalonia.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 12:05 PM
4

All a bit wild. Exhibit A in why I wrote my post: dating over 40 goes wild with gender bias. No I don't write off women my age and sometimes older. But I think a moderate age gap feels more normal overall. And youthfulness is often a preference for men the way large muscles, height or career success have an impact on women. I know there is some extreme age and gender shit out here, and I honestly don't gel with that. But I do think men need spaces to talk about what matters to them, and the teno…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 12:01 PM
2

I put about 65% on her, but accept a fair whack. It annoys me that I think, as someone else also noted, that she would probably say it was 90%+ on me, and I think she'll never really reflect and see her part in it. Part of that isn't just my own POV, I observed how judgy she could be with others close to her, especially mother and sister. Her mum in particular was a decent but flawed human, and I don't think compromise came easily to either of them. Key lessons go to the loss of intimacy and vul…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 06:18 AM
5

I wouldn't disagree with the gist of this. I don't even have an issue with people still cohabitating - obviously a turn off to most, but if you're honest. Understand that men are asking questions about that stuff on dating over 40 and getting a pile of responses all telling them they won't be ready to date for 2 years, and it's nearly all driven by women who have been burnt. Which is... valid from THEIR pov, but not necessarily good advice. Agree with what you say about type of relationship. I r…
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 05:08 AM
1

You will mate, you will. But it's hard sometimes, work on the journey a step at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 01:34 PM
2

Brother, he will always be better off with you in this world. Many divorces don't lead to the kids hating one parent. Be available, stay around. I also was the one who moved out (older kids) and I felt a bit of resentment, I hadn't dumped on their mum so they didn't know it was mainly her decision. But I've been around and regular, and we seem to be on a good footing. I wasn't 50-50 (I've worked in the family sector and that can be very hard in practice) but I made sure there were regular weekly…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 07:05 AM
1

You're human. At least, when it comes to regrets, which many people have, you know you left everything on the table. She may remember this when she's divorcing her next guy at 65, or in some other moment. She won't sit around laughing at you. Use it as a break point. Sounds like you haven't talked much and perhaps haven't moved forward. This is it, the perfect moment. Now it's the gym. Dating new women. And living and moving forwards.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 06:56 AM
2

Thanks mate. Perhaps I am 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 10:59 AM
5

It's great just as backup/support.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 02:59 AM
3

It'll get there my friend. And take care of yourself. If that sounded good, I can tell you the first proper lover (after a couple of fumblefests) was... well I rode the uber home with the window open, feeling like I was on drugs. (Speaking of drugs if it might help, ignore the stigma and get ye some cialis!)
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 02:38 AM
14

Was just over 50 after a 21 year relationship when ex pulled the pin. Due to lack of affection and just my sheer age, I had a very low self esteem. Was pleasantly surprised. Get female input into your pics and profile(s), but there are women out there. I found on bumble I got plenty of incoming swipes, although most were my age or older hunting a serious relationship. I'm open to that but didn't realise there would also be some women open to dating a guy like me just for nice company and fun. I'…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 01:14 AM
1

Every man should be familiar with therapy and cialis. I say this as a man. The trick is to find the right one.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 08:11 AM
2

In addition to the general 'depends' comments here which I agree with, note that this may be excessive if you live in a multicultural liberal democracy like the US, UK or Australia. I'm in the latter and there are plenty of women from more traditional cultures you could meet, and if anything I think your chance of a long marriage is higher if they are making the choice to be with you freely, with perhaps less visa or economic attractions, and knowing they can also choose to shag around, marry so…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 12:27 AM
0

Well it's not likely to happen. Most men like women, and like being with them. The very elements for this movement are a combination of moderate/low attractiveness and unwillingness to compromise, all deeply enhanced by being terminally online. Consider WHAT you think you would achieve. You are saying this would force some change - but isn't the thing you want to change good looking men getting most of the action? Actually good looking men just sticking to a girlfriend and not working the field …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 11:24 PM
–

I think it often is. But OP is in transactional territory and I suspect this is just rage bait. Anyway, I'm just over 50, date women up to and above my age but sometimes in the late 20s and 30s, which is consider a slightly more moderate age gap, and yeah though I avoid anything explicitly transactional I tend to think the appearance of me having my shit together is part of what I bring. Many I sense want a bit of gentleman treatment. Sadly I suspect they won't get this from the average 50 year …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:51 AM
–

I think it often is. But you are in transactional territory and I suspect this is just rage bait. Anyway, I'm just over 50, date women up to and above my age but sometimes in the late 20s and 30s, which is consider a slightly more moderate age gap, and yeah though I avoid anything explicitly transactional I tend to think the appearance of me having my shit together is part of what I bring. Many I sense want a bit of gentleman treatment. Sadly I suspect they won't get this from the average 50 yea…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 11:22 PM
2

Use of extreme examples gets people riled up, but at a more moderate level yes generally men like younger looking women. Leo is a bit nuts in that regard. I'm his age and women around 35-40 are a better mix of femininity and intelligent conversation. Overall I feel a closer romantic affinity with them and that we actually align in maturity and life energy. But I don't write off those closer to my age either. "Fertility" may be behind the biological instincts but probably also just the fact that …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 12:59 AM
1

It may be true that relying on women to make the move was tricky, though now they can reverse it with a question. I think overall that is correct, they like you to chase a bit at the start, though I also think if a woman is into you in most cases she'll make it clear with effort very quickly. Two other aspects on Bumble that hinder connection: Not seeing any likes without paying. At least you can go through your list one at a time on free Hinge. Not seeing any likes that sit outside your search …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 12:39 AM
–

Chill. This is false equivalence. The better, slightly more arguable analogy is men not getting a date vs women not landing a serious relationship from dating. For both: In some sad cases they really are unable due to extremes of disability or disfigurement or the like, though in most it's more complex. The problem often has to do with their lines/standards/bar exacerbated by the effects of being online too much. This can look quite different, eg 40 year old women complaining online about how th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:32 PM
1

Yeah he's pretty good! Check out https://www.instagram.com/jimmyrees_/ for some Australiana mixed with very amusing takes on Trump and other global characters too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 02:02 AM
8

My perception is that 70% of complaints online are from people *punching, or otherwise failing to understand their reasonable range and options. So it can be worth being open to people you are not as into because you may be spending too much time online and not having a realistic sense of where you are at. And then you realise sx is still fun with someone who is slightly less glamorous to look at, and they may be a great person too. On this strategy, I think you should date women you would at le…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 01:23 AM
20

"wasn't true" An observation after a few months or so in this and other dating related threads: There are solid pillars of truth in there and I get why some men get annoyed at the denial of it. As someone older who grew up with and largely agrees with feminism, this denial of rather obvious patterns and minimisation of the role of biology has always frustrated me. I made similar observations to TRP in the late 90s, after reading a bit on evolutionary biology. I was in a large redneckish town and…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 12:07 AM
1

I don't doubt it!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 01:53 PM
6

Ay. https://www.nytimes.com/1983/10/23/books/marketing-emotion.html Interestingly also more than one piece out there arguing the actual meaning still has a serious gender issue behind it, as women disproportionately do this in workplaces. However, Candace complaining about her 6 figure earning husband who needs counselling so she can focus on listening to wellness podcasts has a different issue to often-minority-and-working-class women in gruelling jobs experiencing the genuine internal splittin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 12:38 AM
13

Emotional labour is about low paid/security workers being forced to play nice, impress, empathise all day long in gruelling base line jobs. Its appropriation by navel gazing middle class (largely white) women is not the only time this highly privileged group took a 'woke' concept aimed at the more vulnerable (see also 'woke' itself and Bill Burr's genre leading SNL monologue) and wove it into podcasts and earnest tiktoks. It's a real thing in extreme cases, but then again so is everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 11:05 PM
2

George Clooney. Barack Obama. Christopher Hitchens. All exceptionally influential men who treated the women in their lives with deep respect. Deep in the world of men edgelords look up to, Bill Burr and Ricky Gervais spring to mind as guys with long term loving relationships that seem to be grounded in respect, despite pushing the boundaries on stage. Look up, look big. Don't take all your cues from reddit or youtube. Don't equate illiterate thugmonkeys on steroids with manhood. And yes, I will …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 03:53 AM
1

Why are both men and women obtuse out here? I think the way this has been phrased is a bit vague, perhaps deliberately so, and so many are taking it literally - they have been asked about the factors that lead to a better relationship, and that really could go through either direction.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:48 PM
2

By impressing them - women are capable of visceral attraction just like men, in this case all of those things send leadership/achievement type vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 11:07 AM
1

They get laid more easily. That may in some cases also lead to feelings and a relationship because it's opened that door, but in and of itself it's probably not helping make feelings grow.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 06:53 AM
1

I don't think they rationalise that they can attract them. More that their sense of what they are or can be attracted to may be shifted. And perhaps what they want. Porn probably does this at a lesser level too. Education may help, it's more around limiting use than 'knowing' it's not real. Way back still in the 90s when I took a few psych units, I remember coming across some research around attraction that suggested people adapt over time to the kind of people they can pull. Not just 'settling'…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 08:36 AM
10

Agreed. Looking along a woman's body and watching her arch with pleasure while going down is pretty much the pinnacle of human existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 04:57 AM
1

I think what gets people fired up is the capitalist bait and switch (and I agree with a comment elsewhere, if people dislike this then they should definitely extrapolate that to many of tech-capitalism's other grifts). A fake but persuasive human connection is offered, not just images. I don't think anything is "immoral" (I'm not a religious wowser) and I don't judge the individual women doing it too harshly. As with most problems it is better to analyse at system level than by hating individual…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 01:01 AM
–

Usually this disdainful use of 'fetish' to describe ethnic attraction preferences is used against men, so I'm here for anomalocarus and think people do need to chill a hell of a lot when it comes to other people's preferences. I like all sorts of women, but I definitely have a particular group that get my attention. It's not for any of the reasons the fetish-narrative wielders claim, I just find them more physically attractive. Especially over 35 where I'm normally looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 04:11 AM
2

Bisexual men are not stigmatised by women due to this in my view. Bisexual and gay men can absolutely be strong and deeply masculine and dominant. They are not all walking around with bent wrists and feather boas, lisping like a 1950s caricature. Not easy to prove as it's not something most would admit, but occam's razor says it's fear of STDs, especially HIV.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 01:16 AM
1

Fascinating article btw thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 09:52 PM
1

Ditto. And I don't judge women and called them low value, not the least if they have sex with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 12:44 PM
1

Datingoverthirty is probably like datingoverforty, which I've nicknamed: "women over 40 and the men who agree with them."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 08:47 PM
2

Haha enjoy every part of the meal my friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 02:25 PM
2

Not at fetish levels, but yes 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 01:29 PM
9

I think age gap nonsense is tosh (very extreme situations aside) so no judgement there. And I am not dismissing anything. But you've gone back to complaining about women being attracted to different things to men - then clarified that your 'little standards' are a woman must be 'pretty'. So you are claiming women are shallow and don't have room for 'acceptance' and 'nuance', yet you are also supporting what I said by clarifying that your own standards are shallow and simple (and match prevailing…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 07:54 AM
6

I love women's smiles, lips, social intelligence, ability to go deep, skin, curves small and not so small, feet, and ability to make me feel like the entire world has stopped and all my problems are circling outside a campfire when we are naked together.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 05:58 AM
27

I'm bald, I do fine. Shave it off and move forward. Next, get into some course or something so you're not a NEET. Goes without saying women are not interested in you if you are vegetating. Now, sure, women like a range of things beyond 'pure personality', like looks, muscles, height, decent job, confidence, etc. Men also like things beyond 'pure personality', primarily looks and (especially for those over 35) youth or its signifiers. In this light, what do you mean by 'my little standards'? Beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 05:27 AM
0

I suspect it has more evolutionary legs than that. Back in the atavistic state, a woman on heat could bonk several men in a row, bonding with them and increasing the chance they would bring her food or help protect her. The first would be likely to be the dominant or preferred one, but this is ok genes wise because spoof coagulates quickly so the first in has an advantage. Without various cultural markers telling them this is bad, everyone does ok out of the situation. Multiple men sated in one …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 05:09 AM
–

I took it in the bathroom then we caught an uber to her place. Blue pill worked. Success!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 12:49 PM
2

Oh I know 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:11 AM
10

Dan Blitzwhatever, mentioned by OP. I looked him up. Sounds like a real champ.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 04:49 AM
20

Oh he's a real man that one, kicking girls in the face and going full throttle anti semite conspiracist. Yeah, masculinity, womens hate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 04:06 AM
2

Women look for this on the apps. See "short term" or "intimacy without commitment". General rule of thumb is if you want this, be less judgy. A woman who is comfortably within or at the lower end of your range is more likely. As per the comment in the main thread about 'unless he's hot' - you have a better chance if you are, relative to her, hot. If a man is punching above his weight normally he will be offering her serious commitment and she's into the whole package, not just his package.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 02:34 AM
4

I think there's some truth in this overall though, and both men and women are shaped a fair bit by what they see online. This includes seeing a lot of profiles in apps and even getting a lot of unrealistic likes on apps from bots, sugar seekers (for men), bang-and-ditch merchants (for women), that skew their understanding of what they can honestly pull.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 05:55 AM
–

Yes, ageism is certainly deemed highly acceptable, and yes there are flagrant double standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 11:22 AM
–

Usually the honest advice is: you can't have anything you want like when you were 27. when men say they like curves they mean J-Lo and it's not you sis, so hit the pool and salads or accept that your hand is not as strong as you think. you want good looking, good job, fit, charming? That guy will chase you when he's 10 years older, so get off TikTok, drink a glass of cope, and extend your range, or be a bit less judgy with men your age. Not winning responses online, but c'est la vie. You can ima…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 01:27 AM
–

This is why I went "a-ha" when I saw the purple pill sub. I think men need better third way options that aren't curated by privileged white women, and at the same time don't descend into hatred, rejection of core decent feminist principles like equality or consent, or embracing of backwards, religion-driven patriarchal dogmas.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 03:21 AM
–

True. Although it might need its own vibe. Check out the Tough Guy Book Club, started near me in Melbourne, now global. Everyone in the world reads the same book so men can turn up to whatever pub is nearest hosting it and talk.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 03:15 AM
2

Agreed. I find the "plan the date, make it really interesting, send me the details" crowd a bit much, but am generally content to take a woman out for nice food and drink, occasionally a show or something, and woo her at least a little. And yes I totally think it's helped me get laid, though I don't sit there thinking "this better have results for me", I just enjoy being out having a laugh with a woman. It sets up a context where she feels safe and wanted, ie you would provide at least a little,…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 01:12 AM
2

I am just over 50. But I get dates as young as the late 20s. I like intelligent confident women. At the same time like most men I do like some of the physical and emotional signifiers of youth. I honestly think women can be great much younger and older than this, and I don't judge age very hard, but just responding to your post, picking an age, I think this is a perfect balance of those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 09:29 AM
1

37. But I don't really wish any of us stayed the same forever, it's boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 09:24 AM
1

Don't agree, at least not for competent men who can get dates some of the time, and at least not in the west. First, the perception is that sex rapidly tapers off in marriage, which is true in most relationships I know. Secondly, men's instinct is to have a variety of sex, sow seeds etc. a man will get more satisfaction from having sex ten times with 5 different women during the year than he will having in 20 times with one woman. So he is usually looking for a lot more. Most men I know are actu…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 12:32 AM
–

Some truths. I don't think it's quite a criminal. I suspect most women would be content with a guy like Ahmed Al Ahmed, Australia's national hero today. He's not Chad, but he's a gutsier guy than probably most of us. At least, they want a guy who'd do that if she or his kids were at the other end. I thought this post was going a different way, and I'd say also we can be hypocritical when calling out standards (both men and women can be) given the pressure for women to be young, hot and childless…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 02:39 AM
–

Yes, our champ seems to be unable to deal with grey areas of moderate divergences. "You said work on myself, I found a mouthy chinless uneducated sex offender who wants women to be padlocked to a chain that runs between the kitchen and the bedroom, you don't like it ergo you're a hypocrite" etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 02:34 AM
1

They are, WHEN it is such, I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 12:08 AM
1

Yes although it's not harmful to remind everybody, irrespective of gender, that being highly unrealistic may cut off life opportunities. Also men's standards should not then be demonised, including preferring younger women (within reason), or women of certain racial backgrounds etc are not of themselves bad things.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 08:48 PM
1

Short is fine on a lass, you did ok. Never mind, pick yourself up and move forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 05:13 AM
1

Sounds perfectly fun. I think the only thing that is 'beneath dignity' is if you treat them with less respect. Enjoy consensual fun, and in the process you learn, build experience, and become a better lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 04:42 AM
0

Well one thing you'll realise is average girls are still fun to make love to, and your standards are probably unnecessarily judgy and out of whack with your own offering. So yeah just get out there and start enjoying.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 10:19 PM
2

I have female friends, and lovers, and enjoy knowing people for their own value. Some people will walk over you. Learning to spot them and walk in the other direction is a key life skill. To be fair it's not easy, I'm still developing it just past 50.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 12:46 PM
2

Not being a c&nt isn't always about getting 'results'.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 11:58 AM
3

Being kind is also an option. And in saying this I'm not defending women who are cruel either.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 11:40 AM
10

This. I see it here and there online, very rare IRL. Men I'd say do this at least as much. Especially around weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 06:51 AM
1

Disagree, Asian women are top of the totem pole in Australia where there are a lot of east and southeast asians.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 01:40 AM
1

Fascinating to pause on this here. Because in these threads I frequently find myself quibbling with gender stuff that gets up my goat (eg age gap hypocrisy), but overall, IRL, I probably like women more. And I think men as a whole have a lot of work to do. Caring is a really valuable thing and overall I think women do it more and better. In my dating journey I've received a huge amount of care from women I've met and dated, even when nothing significant has sprung up between us.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 02:30 AM
0

Thanks for "clarifying".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 05:38 AM
1

I do not subscribe to red pill or beta bucks. But I do apologise for having the temerity to only partly agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 05:10 AM
3

Some fair points. See also women pathologising men's tastes (eg younger women, Asian women) because they want older men with good jobs and health to choose them once they've had their younger fling phase, their married with kids phase, their ditch hubby after listening to lots of podcasts phase, and their bang 33 year old gronks against a wall as a mid life crisis phase. Nobody owes anyone else their attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 11:23 PM
1

Doesn't look offensive to me, stating some truths. But I haven't seen any arguments that it's a 'handicap'. What you've said was eloquently laid out in the brilliant '90s Living Color song "Bi". The exception is that straight women are very unkeen on bi men. It's not said out loud but this may be due to perceptions around male sexuality and STDs.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:41 PM
0

New research shows 78% of women who do this have been reading men's comments on reddit in the previous month.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 01:11 AM
1

My first thought was 'read this sub' too. Same applies to women in different contexts (eg age gaps). A difference is men are easier with sex - if an average woman wants casual fun and hangs around a football team, one of the players may take her up on it before too long. An average man, if he's not funny or wealthy or something, can hang out with a group of models for 5 years and there is close to zero chance any of them will touch him. In my life experience (just over 50 M) guys who are most li…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 11:50 PM
8

Men raping or abusing women is 100% men's fault 100% of the time. There are plenty of contradictory positions taken by women online and plenty of grey areas, but this is not, remotely, one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 06:53 AM
1

As an older man I love that the daddy is clearly the standout. That said, the others haven't been made very appealing!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 05:05 AM
–

There's a type on reddit isn't there? It's all about intense overthinking and precise categorisation.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 02:43 AM
1

Evolutionary biology 101. Women take the bigger risk during sex, speaking for 99% of evolution. So they go for quality (unfortunately often equating to dominant or aggressive) genes for sex. But will look for something calmer and more reliable for longer term. Men seek to spread their seed so they're far less discriminating. This gets taken to extremes in the 'pill' world of course, surprised OP hasn't seen a gazillion posts about it. For my part I'd note the above is just a tendency and people …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 12:04 AM
2

Random semi connected observation: watching different Love is Blind series, the Brazilians mostly went straight in for a big deep pash when they met. Samba!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 02:41 AM
1

My experience (in my early 50s, observing numerous long term relationships play out over decades) is that the women at greatest risk of suddenly waking up 'needing another d!ck' are the ones that had very little experience when they were young. They never got it out of their system. Women tend to aim upwards in looks for casual. Men less so, as we all know while looks are nice, sex can be fun with all sorts of women. Joining the two together: there are lots of women, many on the main dating apps…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 05:59 AM
2

Cheers, will have a look for it. (Update didn't find it, if you have a link pls drop).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 09:27 PM
2

Also, the kind of women I've mainly been friends with since university days would be extremely UNlikely to call a man short or treat him like that. Is this some extremely clueless goon who walks up to the most plastic looking insta models he can see and asks them in a really pushy way? Look; I think there's something to this. Men are definitely expected to carry a bit more, but if you're just a ball of insecurities you're not going to get a woman ever. "Men are expected" is really that for deep …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:01 PM
1

Quite possibly. I have a theory... When I did psych in the 90s I recall some research showing people adjust to the kind of people they attract. And I noticed this myself. I tended to have experiences with women probably in the 5-7 range and even years later, girl next door type images tended to turn me on more than super blondie plastic hotness. I actually struggled to think of the super hot ones as sexual. The psych theory was that this was a positive social adjustment, more chance of more peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:49 PM
11

Creating archetypes by reading reddit and watching tiktoks rather than being out in the game is not helpful. These women are not aiming those comments at Gronk who shagged them at 23, they are aiming them at online dating in the present, for them. You are clearly not out there, but I am, and although I'm 50ish I sometimes date women not far off the age of these, and there is a common concern held by a preponderance of women over 30 who are looking for LTR that men claim they are looking for the …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 01:25 AM
2

But also "smart and fun to talk to" is more than nothing. He's intelligent, and this may include humour, one of the greatest indicators of linguistic nous and social intelligent women go for.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 01:49 AM
1

"no such burden" Less, sure, but then she is sought first and foremost by most men for looks and, beyond about 28, age. The first she can only moderately affect, the second, zilch. In fact what this post effectively confirms is something I've observed all my life (just over 50), that men have many options to stand out and have a chance. The chubby guy who has a metabolism that will build power and strength if he works at it. The average dork who gets good at bass or has a decent voice and gets i…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 01:38 AM
2

Yeah, you can hang with your gaming buddies, sure, I wouldn't say ditch your friends or anything, but go to salsa once a week and some sport (even a running or climbing group) on another day, and start getting some breadth and balance.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 01:05 PM
2

Yes, or activities that involve interacting a lot with women, not for the purpose of dating (at first at least) but just to build those light skills. I have dropped a lot of comments suggesting salsa classes. It's amazing seeing guys who've just complained for ten paragraphs about their lack of nous with women then saying something like "I"m not really into salsa/dancing" or whatever. And I'm like "When did I ask? Are you here to improve or continue being a fckn drip who complains online?"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 12:35 AM
6

I agree with your second para. Some truth to the first, our disagreement is a matter of degrees. I'm also aiming my comment at both men and women, I should add.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 04:22 AM
19

Occasional snippets of wisdom and high interest, but yes so many people whose complaint really sounds like "I ignore heaps of good options, I clearly try and often fail to punch above my weight, now I'm pathologising it to the nth degree." So often I find myself thinking "Oh if only I could see your online profiles, footage of you in conversation and a selection of people you think are reasonable targets for your amour, I bet I could explain it all." Also the key problem of our day writ small - …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 12:48 AM
1

They learn to work at it, like birds of paradise perfecting their mating dances.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 12:22 PM
2

Interestingly I got to know a divorce lawyer well, a woman, and she said exactly this.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 09:51 AM
2

Just to throw in an extra factor, but sexual compatibility can substantially 'tweak' where this line is. A 6 who is a fantastic, giving lover may be just as exciting as a 7.5 who lies there. Ultimately it will fold into 'physical attraction', but in an arid debate about looks it's worth considering as a separate factor. Especially as there can be a gap between the hyped ideal and women who have everything they need to be sexy - looking at curves in particular here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 03:59 AM
1

Probably correct... but balanced against the excitement that comes with being with someone for the first time, and at the other end, the familiarity that reduces the excitement somewhat. " If so; how?" like many things discussed here, this isn't really a point of rational argument. If someone enjoys it better, they enjoy it better. Not everything can be broken down to logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 05:29 AM
1

It's hard out there, but ultimately if you're not what somebody is looking for then better to be swiped left on than go to the effort of meeting then ditched.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 05:01 AM
2

I hear many men stretch this stuff, personally I experience many women doing it too. I can't understand why anyone would want a date's first impression to be disappointment. I'd say pick good pics, put your best foot forward, but serious lying will just lead to time wasting, annoyance and deflation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:39 AM
1

Fair comment!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 09:46 AM
1

Same, for reasons set out in my own comment I think there are quite rational reasons for this too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 02:31 AM
-1

There is a bit of a double standard but the origins of what is quite a deep difference in my view are somewhere between: Biology/risk - as noted elsewhere women are alert to a whole different level of threat and pressure; Biology in the sense that most men most of the time are wired to be willing to have sex with most women most of the time, in terms of genes vs pregnancy risk, so for example a woman putting her hands all over you showing signs she would jump you at the first opportunity is a go…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 02:27 AM
9

Or you could ditch the black and white thinking, not be a prick to women, but learn to be a little bit more stand alone, independent and confident. The online world is so full of reductionist binaries, but the world doesn't have to operate like that (and women, hardly a monolith, do not operate as a group with such simplicity either).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 11:57 PM
1

Very good piece on the oversimplifications: https://quillette.com/2025/04/14/what-adolescence-gets-wrong-incels-masculinity/ "Most discussions of the challenges facing boys are distorted by political narratives crafted around crude stereotypes. Liberals tend to focus on the need to radically reform masculinity: to encourage men to be vulnerable, go to therapy, cry. Conservatives often insist that men simply need to toughen up."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 03:38 AM
2

Agreed. People need to actually read the entire profile, and preference those that talk about relatable things. Also you can set politics, religion and education as hard boundaries to narrow further. And there Hinge, where you can leave comments on things, even innocuous pics, to flag your interests and try and catch their attention (or warn them off) that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 06:18 AM
1

Haha yep I have been to Singapore and am confident the average 'chubby' 27 year old single mum there would be a pretty attractive woman, more so than many people on this site will ever get close to.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 07:20 AM
2

I think while clamouring would be overstating it there are clearly plenty, and an age gap is pretty normal to many people outside a sort of TikTok/podcast bubble.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 10:19 PM
6

Taps a bigger issue in emerging political discourse: the gulf, and conflicts, between identity driven 'liberal' (it's actually post-liberal, ie pomo critique, but I don't want to confuse Americans) politics, usually about foregrounding particular identity markers and narrative compliance, and more traditional left politics of class and economics. It's a very big issue, arguably at the heart of current problems with the US polity, and this is just one slice of it. So it is not seen as contradicto…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 01:01 AM
7

"For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 86 males" Woah that's actually huge. I lived in a small city in Australia with the reverse, more men than women, but a smaller gap than this, and the actual effect on the ground among eligible singles was much more noticeable. You have to factor in existing couples, and when you do, mathematically speaking, the ratio increases. Why is it such a marked difference? In my old city, it was rough and redneck so women tended to move 'south' quicker to…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 02:28 AM
1

Agreed, though there is complexity in the humanity around the issue. This is the most interesting thing I've ever read around this topic: https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v40/n06/amia-srinivasan/does-anyone-have-the-right-to-sex
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 10:35 PM
1

I was going to add, as a male - they tell you. You flirt, flirt more, get to kissing them on the neck, hand on thigh sort of situation. Women take a bit more to get wound up, so you need to do the winding up! If these are experienced women, the kind that are comfortable hooking up on an early date, and they're attracted to you, then at that point they will Let You Know.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 11:57 PM
–

Not invalidating it mate, gently suggesting you need to shift the lens through which you view it. This can be done without having to drink any kool aid, and without pretending it isn't hard. I would say as someone who started slowly and with a lot of frustration in my early 20s, that yes it IS worth it. But by "it" I mean having a lovely bond with a woman who may be complex and imperfect like you, not some arid fantasy designed to be eternally unattainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:09 AM
5

"even if it’s true" it's not. Surely you're intelligent enough to see that EVERYTHING now gets processed from "good points in there" or "valid different perspective" to 100% polemic black and white rabbit hole in the blink of an eye. You have not left the manosphere, you are literally embodying its extremes. It's hard out there mate, no question, but this hyper obsessive nonsense won't help. Women are not robots, they are not all the same (far from it) and if you start viewing them as such, vari…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 07:20 AM
1

"Asking for a friend"
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 08:36 AM
2

Thanks mate, no not yet, but cheers and likewise.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 06:22 AM
5

Fair points Zane. Or they can even move to a large multicultural but western city. I'm in a large city in Australia with huge populations from East and South Asia, and a growing South American one too. Many of these are long term residents with no passport issues, and good jobs, who are somewhat westernised but maybe aren't as far along the terminally online spectrum. These women tend to value maturity and education, which is good for me as a well read 50ish man, so best of all worlds in some wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 01:34 AM
9

I have never seen a woman in my entire life write the sentence "I'm looking for a sensitive anime feminist." On the other hand, that 95% of frustrated men on here are gaming/anime types who need to get out more is 100% clear. Not attacking you, just gently noting it doesn't help to exaggerate the problem in a way that makes it fit the reddit crowd more. Women do give mixed messages around niceness, sensitivity etc, when taken as a whole. However gaming, anime, and other hyper nerd (of the non in…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 02:04 AM
26

A sign of security in self from your man, who clearly doesn't hang out all day on reddit. The men of reddit ask how they can convey confidence more - start by not getting weird and demanding apologies for something you yourself would do if an extremely hot woman brushed up against you and flirted.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 11:16 PM
1

One obvious similarity is that making the person feel comfortable then giving them deeply enthusiastic oral sex is a fairly good cure 70% of the time...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 02:27 PM
6

Honestly - move. You need a big multicultural city. I saw your comments about where you live. I was in a crappy redneck town in Australia for much of my 20s and it was a desert. When I moved, it got so much better. 30s should be your prime for any man who is smart, but wasn't a chad at 21. You should be developing your career, have taken care of fitness obstacles (ie you've had a decade to add a bit of meat if you're skinny, or lose the belly if you are generous), learnt to dress yourself etc. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 11:27 PM
2

Much the same, I just don't get the obsession with the past. My experience has been if anything women who DON'T have a lot of experience are a big risk for affairs ten years later. Worst of all is some of this extreme reasoning corners them into a box where things can never be good - the 30s and older can be excellent for nerds who were off to a slow start, if they've worked on their health, style and career, but if they're obsessed with getting a woman right out of the box or not at all, small …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 12:31 AM
1

This. The post raises a valid issue of becoming obsessed by what you see, but this is a category error regarding the purpose for which people (including myself) recommend having female friends. They can be genuine friends, just as good as men (and no this isn't impossible even if you quietly also find them attractive), and invaluable emotional supports. They will give you advice (not that shirt bro; try asking her this etc) men can't. But mainly it's just about some of the people here who say th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 04:16 AM
2

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 09:56 PM
1

The bar is now in checks notes Paradise!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 09:55 PM
3

I came to say something about sex. But also, I think the instinct runs deep. After watching this, a typical man's efforts seem lame: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nPhVOZiPokA
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 07:58 AM
2

You can do pretty well and have fun before reaching a peak, this is just a high level response to the problem in the post. I'm hearing you though, I think the more apt life advice is not that you have to wait years, however it is worth having at least a medium term plan, and be prepared to focus on self improvement a bit, including the social, by way of choosing activities and cultivating friends so you spend lots of time around women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 11:22 PM
2

It's fine - you spend longer honing yourself, then you date a bit younger so your timelines align. Nerds often hit their peak around 30-35, when your ideal age range is probably 25-30.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 11:16 PM
15

I think your post is a fair response to various others. Honestly, I feel a large number of posts on here from both men and women fall into the "I want to have my cake and eat it" category. I find the low n obsession on here borderline creepy, and have no such judgements. I think you should be able to enjoy sex and not pathologise it, as long as it is between consenting adults. In fact, in my observation (50ish M) of women suddenly going wild and having affairs, wrecking marriages, I would say wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 12:59 AM
6

Second this, very thoughtful comment. One of the things I had to pick up over time in my journey to my 50ish self now.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 03:25 AM
2

There is a term for this: "marriage"
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 02:02 PM
2

Hyper obsessive donkeys, that's why. The thing being missed here is that the guy on the left looks very fit too, but also he looks larger and more confident. On the right looks like one of those marathon obsessed dweebs in the office - or a twink. No offence at all to twinks. Recent research confirmed what's been obvious to me my whole life (as someone who was very skinny when young but had an 8 pack). Women generally prefer a larger guy, even if that comes with some cover.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 11:13 PM
3

I don't like saying hide but, basically yes to a degree. In particular the latter, because when we had a long talk about moving in and going to the next level, I said I would try but thought we would always be slightly different in that regard, and she said she thought that wouldn't be a problem. She wasn't, I should add, that much neater or cleaner than me. But people can get very crotchety over the narcissus of minor difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 04:56 AM
2

It is, perhaps also when they get older. I jumped on kid duties 100% and I would say in most situations at least 50-50, when they were small. But that said it's incredibly hard to do that, for both partners, and hold down professional jobs. I think people need to cut themselves slack. And I think to be fair a lot of the expectations I've noted above are heavily imposed on women in particular. Men are not necessarily as exposed to the levels of judgement, in the playground, among female siblings …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 02:10 AM
1

Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 01:55 AM
4

I can't disagree with the women's comments here and I know a lot of guys just don't step up. There's a range of course, and I'm not diminishing experiences. That said there are more than a few men who end up in LTRs who find they can never please their partners. For me, I played an equal part in parenting, tried with everything, but my ex was an A type, workaholic and generally quite judgy (in other relationships such as with her family, which I observed while always having her back). It's not e…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 12:52 AM
1

True, two points: I tend to think most people can do things to get across the line, improving as much as possible. Part of this is also accepting some compromise eg I don't have to have a 21 year old who looks like an only fans model but is a virgin etc. The concept of people missing out is a worthwhile one to discuss I think, provided it's not put in terms of absolute entitlement, such that it starts to contemplate controlling others (usually women) or removing consent. The most fascinating thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 10:46 PM
1

Giving lover. Good kisser. Affectionate. Hygienic. Trying. Trying physically, in his career, growing his brain or talents. Not controlling, not over jealous, not prone to outbursts of conspiracy bs intermingled with misogynistic drivel. Can use whole sentences. Reads.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 08:05 AM
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Nah I genuinely prefer small to medium boobs with just a hint of perk.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:54 PM
2

Cunnilingus enters the chat. I would say to him: focus thy orgasmic efforts there young paduan.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 06:18 AM
4

As a man I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 09:18 AM
1

I agree you don't need to be mean about it. But also this is why people should be honest, make things like height clear, and have full body sized and recent pics.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 03:05 AM
37

90s at uni (college). We drank a lot. We had sex now and then, but also spent long periods between dates. There was plenty of involuntary celibacy, it just didn't have the name and the online communities. I don't want to lean too mathematically into red pill talking points, but it was 20% or so of the men who were regularly getting some. And probably 40-50% of women, but many of the rest were choosing (a legitimate choice) not to go harder and when they felt like a bit of rough and tumble, they …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 01:20 AM
2

I'm going to give two slightly contradictory answers based on my own life experience. Some men do seek that. I definitely resolved to find a female friend or two when my marriage ended, as I used to have as many female as male friends when I was last single and I found them great supports. It *is* true that in some cases you are thinking "hmm, this could cross the line" but not all. There are a couple of women I've met on the dating apps who liked me more than I liked them, I just didn't feel th…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 11:51 PM
1

You can build it but no it's not easy, and yes it's self reinforcing. Like nature wants to you keep succeeding when you're succeeding (I think we have more T count when we're having successes even, it's not entirely fair!). You have to work on little things that slowly improve it, and as it slowly improves, as you yourself have noted, reactions to you will start to improve, and that in turn will increase your confidence a tad more ... etc. Exercise and working on dress sense is a good start. Try…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:13 AM
4

Oho yes I'm getting better at acting on this as my confidence improves. And to be fair a lot of women make clear that they want to spend every waking hour from 5am outside, constantly beaming around with their dog, bike, and stand up paddle board (I'm in Australia, every second profile has it...). And I like exercise but I don't want that. I'd rather lie around in bed together sipping coffee and lazily making out then go to the markets, perhaps a bigger walk in the afternoon. Then eat, then chil…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 05:14 AM
1

Look without being nasty, this is telling. You need to find friends and female friends, you are completely being fed online crack here and have basically admitted your sources are hideous. And to be frank, everyone with a brain is well aware that these are shite sources. So I think you are aware of this too - get out of the rabbit hole. Go take up salsa or join a choir or something that is social. Don't go there trying to pick up, just to get some life skills and comfort around women. Things wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 02:27 AM
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Just over 50 and while the 20s are rare (but it's happened) I have some very nice options in their 30s and early 40s. I was in a LTR in my late 30s/early 40s but I reckon that's when I would have been at my absolute peak for pulling nice women from the late 20s onwards. My observation is for professional men this is really the sweet spot, unless they were sports stars in their youth. But... it's still pretty good where I am now, so I do think overall we men hit our straps later, but also for lon…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 01:20 AM
3

Yeah suing is ridiculous, affairs and cuckoo parenting are actually an ingrained part of human existence, much as of course the man will feel bad about what has happened. Would damages be reduced for the irreplaceable experience of having a child rely on and love you unconditionally, which is arguably one of the most precious experiences any human can have, whether they're biologically yours or not? How would this be quantified? If a wife finds out a man had an affair, let's say 10 years later, …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 11:31 PM
1

I generally read them. But I've learnt to kind of swipe more based on looks and "vibe" in pics on tinder, unfortunately, because of the whole app setup, where you have to hit the arrow button before you can even start scrolling down, the high number of dormant or fake accounts, the 30% plus that are several thousand kms out of my range etc. These would seem like good reasons to be closely scrupulous but in fact it takes so long, it's easier just vetting them on the rare occasions they swipe back…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 11:18 PM
1

Not saying this is a straightforward one, but if all the guys on here who use terms like "cast offs" (single women) "over the wall rejects" (women over 35) "obese" (any woman with the first sign of love handles) and the like could kindly refrain from staring at themselves in the mirror, Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver style, and telling themselves they are "nice guys" over and over, until they somehow believe such piffle, we'd be off to a good start.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 06:09 AM
2

One factor some of the men over looks-and-rank obsessed could learn for their own happiness, and also recognise as a complicating factor in this sort of analysis, is that some people are really good lovers, and some are better lovers FOR YOU. The possibility that the person who, on the face of it, appears to be settling slightly has perhaps hit it off really well, had a snog, said "damn, good kisser", got into bed, had a cracking time and realised they are feeling very pleased, just doesn't seem…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 12:15 AM
4

Yes re the change business. More often on this subreddit I find myself agreeing with the women, and raising eyebrows at some of the wilder assertions by men. However I have not seen much of women being pressured to change by men, outside of what are very obviously toxic or controlling relationships. Perhaps this is showing my age as I'm reflecting on the many long termers and marriages I've seen during my 30s and 40s, but there has been a lot of merit in the old saying, wrongly attributed to Ein…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 05:16 AM
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Agreed. In fact just the touching and intimacy, even if the sex isn't perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 09:45 PM
1

There certainly is malaise and just passage of time. We change, we grow or shrink. I certainly don't judge all the women walking - I just saw your top post, and it reminded me that while I meet a lot of women dating now who kinda did what my ex did, effort levels and individual stories vary drastically.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 10:05 PM
2

There are a lot of guys who deserve to be dumped, and I'm not a fan of people staying around when unhappy. That said, following my own wife-led journey into singledom, I've become aware of a whole sub genre of breakups that seem largely driven by the woman feeling generally dissatisfied at life during times of change, especially in the years leading into menopause, and just sort of giving up. Some of the most interesting stories I've heard and validation I've felt have been from a female friend …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 11:25 AM
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Nah way over the top my friend, hyper over analysing. Sure most of those things will help but plenty of guys aren't ticking all that and are fine. Many bald men (Statham, Tucci) trade off the masculine aspect of that and build a look accordingly. Many shorter men do fine, the friend I know who just pulls every time he walks out the door is about 5'9 - he's ripped and does BJJ 5 nights a week though, so he works on strengths rather than sitting around crying on reddit. Etc etc. Best advice is to …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 01:18 AM
3

As a man just over 50 I get a tonne of swipes from women older than me, but it peters out very very quickly under 50 (still well over the so called "wall", which I think is rather shite and reductionist - I've encountered 50 year old women in this process who were sexier than many 30 year olds). I do agree people seem to have hard and fast lines based on age, even when they might actually go out with you if they took the time to look at your profile. I sense most women under 45 have settings tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 01:31 AM
8

This is why I have moved politically in recent years from emphasising identity politics to more traditional left leaning foci. There is certainly still sexism, racism etc to work on, but while we did deep into silos Musc is worth 400 million and actively working to end US democracy. It feels like a time to reset, and prioritise.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 12:16 AM
1

Oh I think that's right, which was why I was annoyed to discover this was allegedly a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 09:25 PM
2

I recently learnt that there is a 'thing' about men with cats in their profiles being viewed as suspect by a fair contingent of women (most of whom by the sound of it had read about the 'thing' online and taken it on board). The woman giving me this advice (to remove my cat pic from my profile) had a cat pic herself, but said it's not the same for women and that she used it to put off any men with allergies. I find it weird. Also having nothing against cat ladies, who frequently in my observatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 10:55 PM
34

I wish this post - which is excellent and well thought out and written - was an essay in the New Yorker, being read by even more people whose noses it might crinkle.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 01:29 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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