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Legitimate-Corgi Archive

View 0 posts and 172 comments by Legitimate-Corgi on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

First things first. Is the house a mortgage/buying from your parents or is it renting. Yes it’s in their name but what was the actual agreement for the payments etc. you say it’s in their trust but you also keep saying mortgage payment implies you were purchasing it. If you’re gonna fight with lawyer as it’s a rental you gotta stop saying mortgage payment and hope like hell there’s nothing in writing that you’re purchasing it
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 05:49 PM
7

Honestly it’s fun but twice a week for a few months fwb is gonna make you feel more lonely than without it. It’s tough to continue that amount of physical intimacy without wanting some emotional connection too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 12:45 AM
2

Yes finally. I still gotta finish the mortgage assumption should be done in the next few weeks and write her the big check to buyout equity but everything else is set.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 03:07 PM
1

Mine didn’t like my toy car once it was running again so she refused to park a few feet closer to house or further back so I could get into the garage when I drove it. I’d ask nicely she’d do it for a day or two then right back to blocking the entire garage door and me having to move her car everyday when I got home. It’s somewhere between intentional or just not giving the tiniest fuck about you but in my opinion it doesn’t really matter which it is tbh
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 02:43 PM
9

Might just be for kids benefit but the way you say you do everything and drop off and pickup early etc she may just want a tagalong babysitter she she doesn’t have to be the responsible one
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 11:57 PM
6

She did it off and on for 9 years already. I wouldn’t hold my breath on any actual changing. Get that 70% in writing and get yourself a lawyer before she changes her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 12:43 PM
2

Depending on your interest rate mortgage is generally the cheapest debt you can get. So if there’s any other loans or big projects you may need to finance those would be a better use of the money than paying on mortgage. If you do apply it to mortgage make sure they process it as directly to principal not just normal payments and date you ahead. Maybe make a couple months worth of pay ahead so you have a nice buffer if something would happen but you won’t get any interest savings by paying early…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 05:40 PM
5

Time to move on. If she didn’t respect you before and now she’s gone party girl she’s gonna respect you even less
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 04:14 PM
2

Why would you even want to stay and be on the hook for raising her affair partners kid. Be glad she told you now instead of after your on the birth certificate and have to pay support for someone else’s kid. Now you just have to decide if you’re going to forgive her or drop her but it seems obvious she doesn’t give a crap about you or your feelings so why drag it out
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 03:37 PM
1

Get him on here and start reading posts. The playbook is very similar most of the time. But I agree don’t move out until there’s a solid plan for how she’s buying him out or selling house. And don’t go play landscaper while she keeps the house.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 01:18 PM
1

Not all lawyers are that expensive and not all divorces require a lawyer. What made you pick that one? I think I’m only about 6k into mine and it’s almost done :fingers crossed: That said she didn’t file for support or argue at all on 50/50 custody so the lawyers haven’t had to do anything in that regard. It’s all just division of assets and paperwork
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 09:15 PM
1

File for child support instead. And consider relocating. If you’ve got full custody anyway it should be easier vs relocating with shared custody. Strike now while the iron is hot. It might change later but courts are more likely to rule in your favor on things while her life is a mess. And document everything. Depending where you are you may be able to get temporary support before it’s even all finalized
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 03:49 PM
5

It’s everywhere. Whether it actually starts the thoughts or not the algorithms are very good at reinforcing the whole idea as soon as you watch one related thing
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 01:16 PM
12

They want the wedding. Some of them want the kid others just want the photoshoots and the cute baby. Lots of them realize later they don’t really want to be married. I mean everyone falls for it to some degree you do it cuz it’s the logical next step everyone pushes but many people male or female aren’t really cut out for it
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 01:12 PM
1

Your kids need their dad. You can always figure out the finances. If you haven’t even done your disclosure stuff yet it may not even be as bad as you’re picturing. I know I was picturing much worse than what it ended up being for buying her out cuz she had been stacking away money for awhile which is all still community property so she really offset a lot of her equity in the house by having bigger retirement and savings than I did
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 01:55 PM
10

More like detailing a used car when you know you’re gonna sell it soon.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 01:29 PM
2

She almost certainly will spin it to all be your fault. That’s the usual playbook. Be prepared and try not to react angrily while she lies to your/therapists face. Stick to the facts realize she’s already checked out and focus on you doing the best you can for your kids. Most likely she’ll stop participating in therapy as soon as they put any heat on her for her role in what’s going on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 02:22 PM
2

Who cares. “Told him where to meet me out of view” sounds like you either want to kick her ass or badmouth her to him. Let them do their thing unless he’s causing issues with your kids he’s not your concern
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 11:42 AM
2

What did the cops say? They can call for anything they want if they keep calling for pointless reasons they’ll get in trouble for wasting cops time
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 10:31 AM
10

Treat it like a job reference. The only negative info you can give is no you wouldn’t hire them again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 06:56 PM
3

This is the biggest thing. Looks fade but it’s great actually be/feel appreciated
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 12:51 PM
3

Setup an office area big shelving unit desk printer and got a 3d printer and some other goodies in spare room instead of just a buncha junk taking up space. RGB LED strips and everything. Another plan is to get a pool table for the basement and setup a theater room with a bigger tv down there
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 01:04 AM
2

Get the deep dig accountant thing to prove her income. Forensic accounting or something it’s called?
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 10:03 PM
5

Everything I’ve seen here says that’s a bad idea. Divorce settlement isn’t binding to prevent her taking you to court for support later
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/26 08:16 PM
-9

Devils advocate here but maybe it got harder because you weren’t pulling your weight before. Besides dealing with lawyer and some minor drama on kids swapping back and forth my life got easier as soon as she moved out. Do what I want when I want have more spare cash more spare time and so much less headaches. Yea I miss my kids on her days but all in all life is good. It was worse when I first caught her and was trying to make it work. It was like a giant weight off my shoulders as soon as she l…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 06:01 PM
2

1 it’s not your place to push for anything 2 she had years to straighten out. Any changes she makes now to keep him around will only be temporary anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 02:52 PM
3

Just keep driving Mazda you’ve been driving and settle the value differences with the rest of the asset splits. Then if you want to look for something newer go for it
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 02:06 PM
2

40k is way over small claims limit. If you just did it see if your bank can cancel the payment
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 11:44 PM
15

Who cares what she does. You’re divorcing. Dont let it get to you. If she knows it bothers you she’ll just do it more.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 10:14 AM
1

Looks like you’re moving. Unless you can convince her to play nice and stay closer. Hour away makes 2255 pretty rough
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 02:51 AM
1

If anything may be able to force you to pay back the down payment but it seems unlikely a year after it’s all settled. I can’t imagine the house being hers only when you’re both on title mortgage and paying the mortgage from marital funds
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 05:24 PM
1

And I say this from the other side of the fence where she moved out and I got left with tons of her crap to sort through and get rid of. But ultimately lawyer time is expensive. Why waste it arguing over a $15 set of silverware
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 01:33 PM
1

My lawyer said if it’s under 500 bucks don’t waste the time/lawyer fees arguing about it. I would suggest you get your home office setup, any personal belongings you’re attached to, some of the kids stuff to make them feel at home in the new place and let her pay you out for some of the other big ticket things. But especially if she’s buying you out of the house you’re gonna have money on hand to get new stuff so why waste time arguing about little shit.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 01:31 PM
8

Your problem is with her not him. Never understood people that want to take their anger out on the ap. Is he a pos too sure. But he’s not the one who made a commitment to you and is disrespecting it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 11:31 AM
1

Prime card cuz I shop on Amazon so much and don’t care about the interest rate cuz it’s always paid off. Just churn everything through it and take the cashback
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 05:09 PM
1

The woman that raised her never changed hers back after divorce so id be surprised if mine does
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 06:35 PM
2

So make another throwaway just for support groups
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 11:07 PM
2

I only see two potential ways that goes. Either you’re forced to go with those terms because you signed statement saying that’s what you’re doing. Or you’re liable for fraud because you lied on said statement. Either way stay far far away
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 06:47 PM
9

If it’s not actually what you’re agreeing to it’s basically fraud. My lawyer and mortgage company both told me until there’s a divorce settlement agreement I’m basically out of luck on transfer/refi. She jumped the start trying to buy before she’s off the current loan. Her not being able to get approval is a her problem not a you problem.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 06:38 PM
1

Spousal support/alimony is about your income her income and how long marriage was. It’s a separate fight from custody/child support.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 04:37 PM
2

Hindsight is 20/20. Can’t fault ourselves for feeling blindsided when most times they’ve been planning it in advance instead of admitting anything is wrong or making an effort to try to save it
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 01:49 PM
6

That said I’ve been stacking money faster than ever without her here blowing through it while playing the broke card even tho she made almost as much as me
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 02:43 AM
3

I mean I gotta write a big check to buy out equity and keep the house but it helps a lot we had no debt except the mortgage and she had well over double what I did in retirement and checking/savings. So the buyout isn’t as bad as I first imagined and I get to keep the house in the end. It’s not quite finalized yet tho so fingers crossed.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 02:39 AM
7

2-2-5-5. Gets you each every other weekend and two consistent weeknights which makes scheduling easier. Then she takes em for a week vacation and I take em for a week vacation.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 10:16 PM
1

Kid having surgery is certainly less than ideal but at the same time you could wait around forever waiting for perfect time.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 03:24 PM
2

Well if she’s already avoiding the mediation I can’t imagine it will go smoothly. It might be time to just go the normal route and file with your lawyer. As long as she’s comfortable with the status quo she’s not likely to make any progress. At a minimum you need to stop accommodating her every whim and being a pushover so she at least has some motivation to move things along.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 02:42 PM
1

I’d go one step further and say she should take him back to court now anyway. Assuming that’s monthly 400 is pitiful if he doesn’t even have 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 09:40 PM
3

Talk to your lender and see if it’s assumable and what’s involved but if neither of you have the liquidity to buy the other one out I expect you’ll have to sell.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 08:59 PM
10

The only reason to even consider reconciling with a cheater is for the kids. No kids cut bait and run. Lawyer up and move on
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:46 PM
8

You already spent this much and you’re coming out not bad. Why risk screwing it up right at the finish line
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 01:38 PM
5

I mean this is gonna come across harsh but I feel like somebody has to say it. your other thread said you were separated and you were coming around to the idea of trying again. Clearly she came around to the idea of finding someone else instead. Both of your threads paint you in a very bad light obviously it’s at a rough time in your life but going off the deep end only makes your situation worse. Move on. Get sober again. Find some hobbies and some healthier coping methods before you end up cra…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 12:02 PM
4

I’ve seen one or two are we dating same girl groups but they were just full of spam trying to sell catch her cheating services or guys talking shit. I’ve seen some screenshots legit from women’s groups and others where a jealous ex posts the dude and tears him apart with untrue bs
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 01:03 AM
1

Or you say something you shouldn’t and dig your own hole. Just get all your paperwork to lawyer and let them hammer out numbers
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 04:47 PM
5

It’s all about your income and her income. Her bf or you trying for another kid are both irrelevant to the conversation. Is she making more than when it was first calculated?
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 06:45 PM
2

The other thing to look at is yes it’s hard not seeing them everyday but you can get the grunt work done on days without them and have more time to focus solely on them when they are with you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 05:10 PM
2

You should be able to split finances from the separation date and keep it but that may depend on where you’re located. Either way don’t try to hide it if/when they find it they’ll be much more harsh than 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 11:18 PM
3

Hate to break it to you but you’re probably gonna be on the hook for half of that 150k in debt so a couple grand is the least of your worries
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 11:32 PM
5

Couple things. If she wants to fight for it consider giving her a chance. Changes won’t happen overnight but if she actually shows effort and desire to try it may be worth trying. But at the same time one can assume this isn’t the first time you’ve brought up dead bedroom etc. also read up on perimenopause it explains a lot. No one here will fault you if you want to divorce anyway obviously most of us have been there but it all depends on her reaction if you feel she’s gonna make an honest effor…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 01:46 PM
6

Lots of getting ghosted or dropped the second you say something slightly off what they want. But that said there’s plenty of women not looking for anything serious right away too
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 06:18 PM
6

Be careful with that. There’s a lot of laws regarding sharing intimate photos
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 03:07 PM
6

You’re still living rent free in her head. Either just ignore it or if it’s graphic enough you could file charges for harassment. But it’s best to just ignore it and don’t let her know that she’s getting to you
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 02:39 PM
3

It may be the unpopular opinion but I wouldn’t delete them. It’s still part of your life. Plus your kids will want to see them eventually and you can’t undelete something a few years from now when it hurts less. Just hide the memories or move them to an external hd to save for later
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 12:45 PM
3

Don’t think of it as narcing then. Think of it as a paper trail to protect your children. Do you really want her to end up with half or more custody without you there to protect the kids if she ends up lashing out at them instead of you
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 06:43 PM
9

Imagine this sane scenario with the genders reversed. No one would even consider telling the chick to tough it out or protect him. There’s a stigma about men being abused but it happens a lot and there’s no reason you should be protecting her from the consequences of her actions
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 05:39 PM
2

Scroll through here. There’s so many that follow the same storyline
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 05:18 PM
7

You gotta wrap your head around this isn’t the person you married anymore. As soon as she mentioned open marriage she already had other dude in mind. Good chance she was already sleeping with him. Begging and pleading and promising to change just lowers her opinion of you even more. Read some threads on here most of the stories are remarkably similar. They rewrite history to blame you for everything and justify what they did as you deserving it. Hire a good lawyer and move on. Remember none of u…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 07:14 PM
17

Won’t happen. If it does it’ll take years and she still won’t admit she was wrong
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 03:54 PM
1

I mean closing costs buying a home are like 5% so 6% wouldn’t surprise me but hopefully not
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 11:43 AM
1

I’m planning on assuming ours to keep my 2.87 rate. Haven’t done it yet but chase says it’s as simple as just getting approved for the loan on my own and a small fee for processing it all.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 11:40 AM
3

If you have any proof of drugs especially drug use around your kid is probably the only thing you can do anything about. Anything else is you trying to impose your religious rules on her life whether you see it that way or not
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 12:24 PM
5

No need to wait as long as you can seperate sex from relationship. Dont jump headfirst into another relationship right away desperate to replace what you lost
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 09:17 PM
3

Yes. I had better luck on bumble than I did on fb or tinder
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 03:16 PM
3

Probably. This account has been replying with these long comments for the last few days and they’re all very ai sounding.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 05:54 AM
1

Jesus can forgive her doesn’t mean you have to. Once a cheater always a cheater. You gave her multiple chances and she keeps stabbing you in the back at every turn
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 12:39 AM
1

Never trade part of settlement for cs. You can give her the house agreeing no cs then in a few months she can go file for cs anyway. Divorce settlement has no affect on support payments that’s a whole separate fight. Hell even if she doesn’t push for it courts can still require it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 03:19 PM
2

Dont give her the house. Either one of you buys out the other or it gets sold and split the equity
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 03:17 PM
1

Don’t lose hope already. Plenty of women that love to see a caring father figure. Yes it makes scheduling harder but it’s definitely not impossible
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:58 PM
1

After years of feeling unwanted and almost a year of trying to save things I didn’t feel any need to wait. Couple purely physical things and now dating one that is actually very normal and everything just feels so easy. No idea if it’ll last or how serious it’ll get but might as well give it a shot
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:13 PM
3

This. Gotta take a step back and actually allow yourself to grieve instead of bottling it up and lashing out. Open a note on your phone rant and write all the sad all the angry etc. let it sit there to look back at later or delete it but writing it out helps
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:19 PM
9

Might be checked out already might just be peri/menopause. Do some reading. A lot of it will depend on how she reacts when you try to have a conversation about it. Does she go on the defensive or does she acknowledge how it’s affecting you. Does she care how you feel or is it all about her etc
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 03:07 PM
3

If you aren’t willing to commit to marriage don’t throw kids in the mix. It sounds like you two have different goals.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 10:46 PM
3

She’s gonna play herself as the victim regardless who files. So you may as well talk to a lawyer and get the ball rolling.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 03:45 PM
4

My family/friends get the real story to varying degree of detail depending how close they are. Her side can believe whatever they want. Not like they’re gonna believe me over her anyway. Only one couple on that side I care what thinks so I gave them the real story and they actually assumed something like that already and blamed her right outta the gate
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 10:06 PM
2

Why would you wait. File now so that’s a her expense instead of a joint expense. She wants to get hot for the next guy why should you pay for it
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 05:14 PM
4

That depends where they are. Pretty sure 6 years is long enough to run into common law marriage in some states
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 11:18 AM
12

It’s definitely a good group in here. It’s amazing how many follow almost identical storylines
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 02:47 PM
4

I’ve only shared it with a few. Most of her family can believe whatever they want I don’t even care. But the couple I have told I bring receipts. My family obviously took my side anyway but when they keep going on why we didn’t try longer to work things out they shut up quick when you show just how long she had been checked out already
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 04:06 PM
1

Reddit is full of echo chambers and there’s certainly some here but in general this seems to be a fairly level headed sub without quite so much of the follow the leader mentality as most
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 11:49 AM
4

Idk that his gf would believe you anyway but as a patient you’re well within reason to report him to his board/ethics committee
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 05:52 PM
12

If they’ll cheat with you they’ll cheat on you. Plus why even get involved in that drama
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 12:40 AM
1

Why even bring up money at all. Just find someone that’s recently divorced and in the same headspace. Or just has no time or patience for dating but wants physical stuff anyway. The ones looking for sugardaddys are gonna want more money than that and the ones that just want some physical comfort mentioning money is gonna make them feel like a prostitute and give them the ick
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 09:23 PM
2

Pay when you’re together if you want. But don’t start being a walking talking wallet for them to dip into at will
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 08:17 PM
1

I’ll add if you aim a little lower rather than higher you get the added perk of them constantly telling you how hot you are 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 07:54 PM
3

If divorce is already in the conversation I definitely wouldn’t continue trying to add a kid to the mix. Some conversations can’t be unheard and divorce is definitely one of them
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 08:55 PM
23

Not everyone has the looks or social skills to pick up women with any kind of consistency. I’m not gonna pay for it but I am of the opinion that it should be legal and would be safer for everyone involved if it was
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 11:52 AM
3

I got mine fixed that sat all marriage too almost ten years off the road fixed it shortly before she split and she refused to even go for a ride in it lmao. Big turbo not a blower tho
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 12:57 AM
4

I was the one on the couch so I adjusted to whole bed pretty damn quick. Bringing somebody else back to it helps too
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 02:48 AM
3

Type it out in notes on your phone. Then either delete it or read it again later. It certainly helps to get it out
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 01:18 PM
9

The posts I’ve seen in here from guys wanting to know how to hide money usually get bashed until they delete the post
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 11:31 PM
1

I’ve got plenty of stuff to do to avoid moping around but if you want a funny one listen to dicked down in Dallas by Trey Lewis
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 02:14 AM
14

Well then just remember that her behavior now says a lot more about her than it does you. Focus on your kid get some new hobbies and move on. Stop worrying about what she does
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 10:23 AM
13

It sounds like you’re looking at separation as a time to work on things and she’s looking at it as first step toward divorce. Once you’re separated the odds of coming back aren’t good. I told my stbx in no uncertain terms that if I couldn’t even trust her when she was here I damn sure wasn’t gonna trust her or take her back after she moved out. So you may as well go get some tail of your own unless you’re actually considering fighting to keep her after she’s already moving on. In which case you …
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 10:16 AM
8

Get it done quick before a friend or lawyer gets in her head and convinces her she should fight for all the stuff you “owe her”
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 07:41 PM
2

Well if you make the money during the marriage she has just as much claim to it as you do. If you tell her about it she will be owed it. Fleeing the country to avoid them taking it by force just makes you a thief. It sounds more like you just shouldn’t marry her at all
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 02:15 PM
2

So get a prenup like a normal person. Dont plan on bailing the country lol. Besides assets you have before the marriage generally aren’t considered communal assets you won’t have to split them anyway
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 02:09 PM
2

I mean it’s a pretty horrible start to a marriage to stash money overseas so that if you divorce you can flee the country to avoid paying her. I can’t imagine that going over very well
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 01:12 PM
4

The only benefit would be attempting to hide it. If you disclose it what’s the point. You’ll still owe her x amount regardless of where it is
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 12:30 PM
2

Confirmation bias exists anywhere on the internet. Soon as you search or watch something you get peppered with related things
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 04:43 PM
3

Mine always acted like the 4-5 hours a week of mowing in the heat was my time off while I “made her” watch the kids. No interest in switching when I offered to stay in the ac playing with kids and let her do the yard work tho 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 12:19 AM
1

Yea after years of me asking her what was wrong why she was being distant and continually being told im imagining things then she jumps straight to wanting to move out and everything is horrible and then counseling sessions throwing out this whole made up storyline of how bad she had it. Similar stories different names all over this Reddit. They all reinvent the past to make themselves blameless so they can cheat without feeling guilty
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 04:00 PM
5

She wants it to be your fault. She probably has a whole scenario of “her truth” blaming you and reimagining the past to make herself not fell any guilt for her part in it failing. The fact she won’t even do more than one session of counseling speaks volumes imho
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 02:36 AM
6

Look up grey rock
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 04:01 PM
2

It’s convenient for us cuz she’s on call every Tuesday so decent chance of needing someone to watch them for her anyway if she had them all week
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 10:19 PM
4

We’re doing 2/2/5/5. Yes it’s more swaps but it’s some consistency. Every Mon/tue with me every wed/thur with her. And weekends switch back n forth. 7/7 is a long time without seeing them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 01:55 PM
5

How much money are you willing to waste on lawyer fees just to be petty? Yes you mention more time with kids but is that really the example you want to be showing them for their future relationships?
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 09:20 PM
3

Good for you. They’re old enough to get the real story instead of blowing smoke up their asses. If stbx wanted to give her side she should’ve been around to do it
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 02:10 AM
7

Idk “just” emotional affair chatting for weeks/months to me feels a lot worse than a one time mistake hookup so her trying to justify it claiming nothing happened just pissed me off more
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 12:58 AM
1

Tell her play stupid games win stupid prizes. Don’t say you want a divorce if you don’t actually want one. Maybe she’ll learn but doubtful
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 02:32 AM
5

No offense but if you don’t understand why she’s maneuvering the way she is you need to see a lawyer sooner not later. You can shoot yourself in the foot in early stages especially if she’s actively making moves to hide money and setup her exit
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 02:24 PM
2

That was my first thought. Op got to see her with the guy she actually wants instead of the one she was forced to marry
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/25 10:18 AM
1

Just be glad you don’t have kids and have to deal with her anymore. Sell the house move back to nyc and enjoy your life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/25 01:57 AM
1

This. I’m not that far along yet but I’ve seen in here definitely don’t give up anything else in exchange for lower support because the support amount is a completely separate situation from the divorce proceedings. Even if she says she doesn’t need it the court can still mandate it anyway
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 02:01 AM
2

More children probably not. Remarry maybe
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 11:39 AM
9

4 hours in the hospital over peanut m&ms kinda proves it’s serious doesn’t it?
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 02:47 AM
4

It’ll probably all be considered marital property anyway. Good luck getting paid back when assets are all shared. And if she has cc debt or anything half of that is yours too
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 02:14 AM
2

If you’re just trying to hookup why worry about their career or lack of
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 11:35 PM
3

Do you have kids? If you do you’re gonna have to interact with her regularly anyway so you may as well try to save it. If there’s no kids and you can just cut her out of your life entirely that’s decision to think about. Especially since she could babytrap you and then you are stuck dealing with her forever
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 08:09 PM
6

If incomes were reversed she’d be taking half your retirement going after alimony and child support to the full extent she was able. Don’t let your leftover feelings for her cloud your judgement trying to be nice or fair. She makes 3x what you do
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 10:42 AM
7

She’s gonna have even harder time buying you out if she gets knocked up in the meantime. You need to get house settled and stop cohabitating before you end up still supporting her while she has her cake and eats it too
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 11:18 AM
4

Do all communication through text or email of at all possible so you have record of what’s being said. Possibly one of those court required parenting apps where nothing can be deleted and it’s court admissible
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 03:08 PM
4

I stuck around for the kids, hoping things would improve and because I didn’t want change. But I should’ve split sooner. That said I’m still in lawyer limbo and dunno how much this is gonna end up costing me but I’m still happier without her
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 11:17 AM
5

Just because it’s on of doesn’t make it public. Even if you pay to see it you don’t gain the right to redistribute it. You definitely need to ask your lawyer and not send anymore pics anywhere else in the meantime
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/25 11:48 PM
3

Should’ve ended that line about your schedule with a direct question what day is best for you?
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 11:21 AM
11

Write it down and then burn it. Dont give her the satisfaction of knowing she got to you
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 02:05 AM
1

My answer would definitely depend on how old the kid is. If in fact you aren’t the father you could lose custody later even if you get it now. If he’s an infant it would certainly be simpler to cut bait and run now instead of growing more attached and making it even harder in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 01:41 AM
1

I mean a statement recommending you work less than full time for your mental health
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 05:10 PM
1

Well hopefully you have some kinda statement from doctor or therapist recommending that. Otherwise you might be outta luck
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 05:08 PM
1

I mean I think earning potential is based on full time hours. Given your answer I would guess that’s where they’re going with it. I can’t think of any other reason to want medical records
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 05:06 PM
2

Maybe trying to prove you’re capable of working more/making more money than you do?
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:56 PM
1

Different schedules for each just adds more exchanges with her and upset kids cuz sibling isn’t there. I wouldn’t even consider it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 11:03 PM
5

I wouldn’t count on that if she inherited it before they got married. Definitely something to ask a lawyer in your state about
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 08:14 PM
2

There’s nothing healthy about revenge.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 08:28 PM
8

If they want to go fuck around they will. You turning them down isn’t gonna magically save their marriage they’ll just find someone else. Why not get what you want. The blame is all on them as the married person. Actively pursuing someone married is a dick move but if they’re chasing you may as well take it. Just remember if they’ll cheat with you they’ll cheat on you. Other thing to remember is they’re probably getting fed a whole storyline of how terrible it is or they’re about to leave or wha…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 04:53 PM
2

I mean if he’s determined to tell her it would be better to come from the therapist. But yes not saying anything would likely be a better move
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 04:50 PM
1

Honestly I would ask the therapist if they can give her the heads up to expect a contact from child services. That way it’s not coming from you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 04:39 PM
10

Tell daddy to buy out your share of the equity and refi it in their names or pound sand. There’s all kinds of horror stories on here where people are stuck on a mortgage they can’t force the ex to sell and can’t get their money out of it until they do.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 04:20 PM
9

A year later and shes got bf in your house is exactly why everyone here will preach never move out. Good luck getting your house back
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 05:47 PM
6

Ha. Mine “wanted space” I more or less told her if she moved out she wasn’t coming back. She agreed to stay go to counseling etc. I bend over backwards for months find out she was messaging other dude the whole damn time. IMHO if you’re determined enough to separate/move out instead of working on it together you may as well stay out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 05:44 PM
9

She may be right she may not be. Maybe your place looks like a dump and she doesn’t want to spend time there. Or maybe she’s just trying to bend you to her styles and spend your money. We all get stuck in our ways/comfort zone it’s not always a bad thing but it can be.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:08 PM
5

It’s definitely nitpicking but if your decree says you will return it I think you’re expected to ship it to her. Should’ve made sure it said you’ll hold it for her to pickup until x date. But honestly just ship it and consider it just a few more bucks to get her out of your life
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 09:44 PM
4

Most likely she checked out of the relationship a long time ago. Read some posts on here that’s almost always how it goes. Lose interest. Check out emotionally. Find someone new. Then once they feel confident they can get what they need from new guy then and only then will they let you in the loop to even realize what’s going on
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 08:04 PM
5

That’s the part that almost amazed me. When other people were around she’d almost act normal to me. In counseling switch on the waterworks blame me for everything and act like she had been trying so hard. Soon as we walked out right back to ignoring me and treating me like a dog turd on the bottom of her shoe.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 08:02 PM
4

It’s certainly not a first date topic but keep it vague but honest. You stuck around for the kids but she lost interest a long time ago. Anyone with a few brain cells to rub together will have the idea without needing to spell out details or give an actual timeframe.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 10:15 PM
4

Hell how about simultaneously turning it down 90% of the time while also being upset she’s not pregnant yet trying for second kid. 🤦‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 09:57 PM
2

Just focus on her for a little bit till your ready for round 2 if first round goes too quick
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 04:21 PM
1

It’s a shame the key is in a usb drive in the local landfill lol For real tho that’s big enough numbers to have potential legal action and if nothing else look really really bad in front of judge if they find out you were trying to hide it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 01:54 PM
1

Plenty of women you can talk to and they do tend to have a different perspective on things. But I’d definitely avoid it with anyone you have romantic interest in
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 02:48 PM
1

You need to find a good friend you can vent to. Preferably someone who’s been through it. Even posting it here can help but it’s easier to have someone for one on one responses. Even if they can’t change anything it helps you process and think things through just getting it off your chest
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 10:53 AM
4

It seems to be a pretty common trend around here
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 04:34 PM
2

I think it mightve been easier to accept a girlfriend. Hard to blame yourself when you’ve got the wrong equipment
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 03:32 PM
4

If the majority of posts in here are anything to go on expect a new bf to show up in the near future. Someone who conveniently was “just a friend” beforehand.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:30 PM
5

It’s all in their head to convince themselves it’s your fault and they’re the victim they’re making the right choice etc
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:23 PM
12

Revisionist memory. She’s coming up with reasons now to justify whatever the real reasons actually are and make herself not feel guilty
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:04 PM
6

Yea I don’t really care who she fucks I’m much more concerned about who she brings around our daughters
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 01:18 PM
3

Do you have kids? Who’s gonna be executor of your estate? That’s who needs access.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 10:30 AM
3

I get the idea he’s wondering who to leave the info to
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 10:29 AM
-1

If you’re the only one on mortgage and deed I wonder if you can legally evict her? Still time consuming but I’d ask a lawyer if it’s an option. Losing her free housing would certainly motivate her to
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:42 PM
4

Long as you don’t end up itchy….
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 08:01 PM
1

See I was usually the one to cook anyway. The challenge now is everything in freezer is portioned for 2+. And she had a tendency to make “kid food” for our daughters instead of trying to convince them to eat anything new. So now I gotta make kid friendly stuff plus whatever I want for myself. And to top it off my grill broke the other week a day or two before she left so I can’t even grill until I fix it
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 12:05 AM
1

This. I haven’t been here long but unless you’re constantly deleting women trolling I wouldn’t worry about the few that show up. Any I’ve noticed have seemed decent enough
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 06:06 PM
2

Because we aren’t built for accepting defeat. Plus the obvious financial consequences that generally come with it
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 01:47 PM
5

I got 2-3 years worth of telling me nothing was wrong claiming I was imagining things she’s not mad at me. While continuing to pull away more and more and then sent a screenshot of an email that accidentally had a response from a an apartment rental application below it. Then another couple month later find out while she’s too tired to stay up at 8-9 and watch a movie or spend any time together but she’s been up texting half naked pics to some other dude at 1am and talking shit about me
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 02:38 AM
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