TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

LetsDelveIntoIt Archive

View 9 posts and 364 comments by LetsDelveIntoIt on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

DiscussionLetsDelveIntoIt/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:12 PM
10

Question For MenLetsDelveIntoIt/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 05:16 AM
5

Discussion - Q4AllLetsDelveIntoIt/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 05:23 AM
3

DebateLetsDelveIntoIt/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 11:58 PM
3

LetsDelveIntoIt/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 03:01 PM
2

DiscussionLetsDelveIntoIt/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 08:17 PM
1

Question For MenLetsDelveIntoIt/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 09:18 PM
1

DiscussionLetsDelveIntoIt/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 08:50 PM
1

Q4AllLetsDelveIntoIt/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 01:08 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Men can determine for themselves what they do and don’t deserve.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 07:03 AM
1

It's mostly reasonable but a little bit unfair, which is why it's a shit test. But you know, the men are also perfectly free to choose not to date me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 08:40 PM
0

Not irrational, like I said in another comment, it worked very well for me every single time. It worked so well the last time that we've been married for 13 years and counting. But I also know this test may not work for everyone and it's also not foolproof. I was willing to take those risks. To each their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 08:39 PM
1

Forget next month, I always picked up the second date (full) tab AND planned it too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 07:35 PM
1

Yes, sorry, English is not my first language. I didn't mean to insult your language at all, and sorry if it came across that way, I was making sure I understood your question right. Btw it's really commendable that you're able to communicate so effectively in your second language. Yes I have a certain amount and type of ego although in no way am I an egotistical person. I'm very old now (forties) and been married to my husband for 13 years, so not been in the dating world for a long time. Back w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 06:35 PM
-3

Equality isn't always 50-50 in every single situation. For eg, in a relationship equality isn't just both parties cooking dinner or cleaning the house. Equality can take the shape of one person cooking while the other person cleaning, or even one person cooking and cleaning for a month straight but then the other person takes this on after that. So during that month, it may look like inequality but it's equal over the long run.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 06:15 PM
0

You say one thing and imply completely opposite. Did you mean I say one thing but want an opposite result? Yes I do, that's why it's called a shit test. It's worked very well for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 06:11 PM
2

I gave just one example of a customized shit test. While in a relationship it's always a rhythm and I'd evaluate people in terms of compatibility, not so much via shit tests. If there is a second date, I always pick up the whole tab.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 06:10 PM
-2

I've formulated my own version of what equality I'd like in my life, this one specific situation isn't one where I welcome equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 05:57 PM
-3

So from a woman’s perspective what are the failed shit tests that make you want to walk away completely that a man should be aware of? Can't speak for all women but, on a first date (assuming he asked me out), I always offer to pay the whole tab at least or split it. If the man takes me up on either of those options instead of insisting on picking up the whole tab himself, he's failed my shit test. And yes I will not go on another date with him again.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 05:31 PM
21

A long time ago when I was single (and even the times I was in a relationship but not married), I used to be super friendly with both men and women and treated them similarly. I had men themselves tell me to tone down my friendliness to the menfolk because it misleads them into thinking I'm interested in them romantically. I will say this though, if a man was into me and thought I was interested in him because of my friendliness and asked me out, I'd politely decline and in my experience, he'd s…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 04:47 PM
2

I don't know much about FDS but agree on him dodging a bullet. I'm honestly shocked he didn't cut her off the moment she tried the whole low-effort thing after his text.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 01:13 AM
12

From your observations, do the women around you, (single & straight women family members, best friends, co-workers) consistently know what they want, both out of relationships (either serious or casual) with men and out of life? I'm married and so as most of my friends. But the ones who're single either don't have a clue what they want or have some dealbreakers in themselves that they're unwilling/unable to get rid of. One of these single friends is grossly obese and has been for well over a dec…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 06:13 PM
1

Could be. But whenever I use it or people in my circle use it, that's what it means.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 06:07 PM
1

It's actually quite simple. Low quality women (lazy, delusional, mentally unstable, gold diggers, etc) want that man with 7 figures, Porshe, Piguet, etc etc precisely because they're low quality women. A 20 something woman who is a cashier at Walgreens doesn't really stand a chance of getting with that kind of man - how would they even meet? And low quality women aren't most women. BUT. I disagree that this same man is actually a quality man himself. He may be rich and lead a flashy lifestyle, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 05:31 PM
2

Too nice just means being a pushover. The people telling someone that they're "too nice" are trying to find a more pleasant way of telling that person to stop being a doormat and have some self-respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 03:51 PM
2

Surprising a bit since I assumed Asia and non-Western countries (generally) are red pilled.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 03:17 AM
1

I didn't know the definition of HVM at all, just saw it being used on this sub a lot, which was why I posted asking for the definition. No idea how FDS defines a HVM. So is it basically a guy who easily sleeps with a lot of women? Does the quality of women he beds matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:14 PM
2

That's not a HVM, that's a playboy. I think the problem is this sub doesn't have a clear consensus on who a HVM is; I've asked for definitions but the responses were all over the place and almost no one agrees on what qualities an HMV should have to be a HVM.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 09:44 PM
1

I'm glad you're going to be overcoming your obstacle, all the best going forward! because in reality the opposite is better. Better for whom though? The advice-giver doesn't have as much to gain as the recipient but stands to lose more than the recipient. Putting myself in the giver's shoes, I'd offer harsh but genuine advice to a close friend who I know will value my advice, but I will just say meaningless stuff (eg, "I know, it's tough out there, tomorrow's a new day though, don't lose hope" a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:57 PM
1

I don't have the stats to agree or disagree with your comment that most women aren't securely attached or are mentally ill. So you could be right. The casual sex part though, I don't get. Casual sex is not about being attached to the other person at all; whether you like each other or not doesn't even enter into the equation. It's just enjoyable sex, which can be independent of someone's like or dislike of the other person in every way except in how they are in bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:47 PM
4

A lot of times people offer these well-meaning but ultimately unhelpful platitudes (Just be yourself, the right woman will love you for exactly how you are, etc) because they either don't want to hurt you by pointing out your shortcomings OR because they don't care enough about you to risk any unpleasantness. A third possibility is if the person offering these platitudes knows any advice they give will fall on deaf ears, os they just go with trite stuff because why not.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:24 PM
1

I readily admit men find a lot more women to be visually appealing compared to women finding men visually appealing. But I disagree that most men find most women beautiful. The commenter himself used the words "Plain Jane" which means he admits plain looking women (not ugly) exist and are separate from beautiful women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:02 PM
7

Using OP's attachment theory as the framework: Normal women are the securely attached types, the ones who have healthy self-esteem but also value and respect the men they date. They don't need the dopamine hits of dating someone who throws them crumbs of romance/affection but who is otherwise an unavailable guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 06:06 PM
-2

Hahahahaha thanks for the laugh!!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 06:01 PM
7

You've nailed the women's fantasy but not the men's. The men's fantasy is what the above commenter said, the nerdy geeky guy gets the beautiful popular girl. That's also unrealistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 05:53 PM
2

That makes a lot of sense, thanks for taking the time to help! I also formulated a (nebulous but tangible) dating strategy where my "win" would be landing in a healthy sustainable relationship. If RP defines winning and success in that way, that's great and should be lauded. But from my observation on this sub some seem to look at "winning" as a conquest in a way - like, I win because you've lost. Which isn't the same as "I win because We won."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 05:52 PM
6

I guess that's the difference I've observed - there seems to be 2 circles of people, 1 will watch these fantasy shows but have adults to knock sense into them, and the second circle where either the adults are neutral or actively reinforce the fantasy by saying just what your adults told you. I grew up in Circle 1 thankfully. But I've also known plenty of children who grew up in Circle 1 but succumbed to the fantasy because it was just too powerful for them to resist.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 05:48 PM
3

I honestly don't know what "game" means and was hoping to find out from someone who seemed like they knew.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 05:27 PM
2

If someone asked me a question, I'd answer if I knew the information.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 05:26 PM
20

Hollywood has a lot to answer for lol. Chick flicks aren't going any good for women either. We should all know that these are escapist fantasies and we watch for release after a gruelling week of realism. Unfortunately a lot of people lack this common sense and think Hollywood fantasies are reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 05:25 PM
3

What is game exactly? Is it flirting, being witty, how to talk to women, etc or is it something entirely different?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 05:22 PM
1

Slim is normal. I'm talking a 5'5" woman who weighs 125 lbs or a 5'3" woman weighing 110 lbs. Anyway athletic and fit women weigh differently, too, because their weight might be higher but it's due to muscle and not fat. Body fat percentage is a more accurate gauge.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 03:15 PM
2

Oh cool are you in the PNW too?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 05:22 AM
9

Hahaha something about your phrasing is very amusing! Yea I guess I can see that happening though. I'm in Seattle and all I see are slender and fit or athletic women who're forever hiking or walking their dogs 5 times/day or cycling/running. I also see similar men, tbh. But then I'm probably in a bubble, cities and the PNW generally are known for their healthier lifestyles.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 11:16 PM
2

But if that’s what you’re looking for it’s going to narrow your choices. I think my comment above maybe conflicts with this part of your comment as bit. But more so I just wanted to address your comment and provide you the link. Times are a-changin'.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 10:38 PM
12

This is so weird to me because pretty much all I've seen and been exposed to is the slim fit woman with the overweight but successful intelligent guy. I've seen this stereotype play out both in my social circles as well as on screen. Maybe that stereotype is outdated these days?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 10:36 PM
2

I'm gonna paste my reply to the other commenter for you to follow: I disagree these are statistical outliers and an extreme minority. I think they are a significant minority but rapidly gaining ground. About half of women say they out-earn or make the same amount as their husbands or partners, according to a new survey from TD Ameritrade. That marks a rapid change within a few generations, given that only 3.8% of women earned more than their husbands in 1960, according to the Pew Research Center…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 10:26 PM
5

I have no way of really knowing this. Is there a stat for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 10:14 PM
7

I hear you but I think it comes down to how much value one places on an exciting sex life. This friend (and presumably his wife) prioritize companionship, parenthood, and lifestyle compatibilities than having to find their spouse "hot." So their expectations mesh and they're happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 10:13 PM
12

Nothing will change, it'll be the same assortative mating as it is now. Obese will find obese, fat will find fat, and slim will find slim - for the most part.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 09:55 PM
22

the larger folks will pair off Yup exactly this. One of my obese male friends found his, relatively less obese, wife just last year on OLD. They even popped out a kid within a year of marrying each other. They are very happy together too. Like finds and attracts like.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 09:53 PM
2

Don't make absolute statements if you don't want to be called out on those. I disagree these are statistical outliers and an extreme minority. I think they are a significant minority but rapidly gaining ground. About half of women say they out-earn or make the same amount as their husbands or partners, according to a new survey from TD Ameritrade. That marks a rapid change within a few generations, given that only 3.8% of women earned more than their husbands in 1960, according to the Pew Resear…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 09:24 PM
2

My close friend is a white guy who works as a nurse and is engaged to a financial analyst that works for a big name company. Presumably, she makes significantly more than him. Can't be "complete crap" if such women also exist. Calm down.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 08:21 PM
1

It takes decades for mindsets to shift. American women initially may have had the same issue losing their hypergamy but by now it's been a couple of generations and American women are (relatively, more) used to the idea that they should only marry a man who is more educated or earns more money. Your conservative community is in the early stages so the women, while taking on the positive aspects of American liberalism of being educated and working for themselves, are still hung up on the conserva…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 03:43 PM
1

This is not directed at you; I'm speaking about the US SMP. I'm in the US too. I'm not going to help spin someone's discomfort with East/South Asian male features into being something other garden-variety ethnocentrism. Oh for sure it's ehtnocentrism, that's why I said navigating the cultural (I use this in the ethnic context) aspect as a minority is another layer of trickiness in dating. We have a greater chance of being attracted to someone of the same race as us, by and large.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 03:37 PM
1

Failing to maintain a caloric deficit, marry partner up with the father of one's child, or invest in dental care Every single one of those things is a valid dealbreaker. But I don't know that they're cultural in nature. The context was that because of your ethnicity/culture, even lower quality women don't swipe right on you, and that's why I commented saying navigating cultural differences add an additional difficulty layer to the dating equation. Being fat and having bad teeth are just your gar…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 02:13 PM
3

First of all, thank you for respectfully engaging in this conversation. Secondly: Since we are brown men (rice or curry), we are generally considered to be unattractive, especially in a large, predominantly Caucasian US metropolis. I sympathize, a cultural incompatibility makes things much harder. But that seems like a separate factor and not just women being assholic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 06:50 AM
6

Hahaha you really think that's the coupling happening everywhere?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 02:48 AM
3

I don't know about the commenter you asked the question, but in my observation a lot of guys seem to confuse being starstruck by women as the same thing as treating them as an equal. So when being starstruck doesn't get them anywhere, they treat them as "inferior" (but which actually is just being confident in yourself while also seeing the other person as just another human being) and the women respond to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 11:11 PM
0

By and large a man earning at least 120K is most likely college educated.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:36 PM
4

I do think the wall at 30 or whatever is a bit extreme, but I also think men asking your sister out for dates isn't the same as having many options for marriage/LTRs. The dating bar for men is pretty low even though the LTR/marriage bar is high.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:26 PM
5

You've hit it on the head. I have a single friend who fits this stereotype. For her love is magical and will just happen because that's how it happened for her in her early twenties. Those 2 relationships didn't work out but those experiences of how she fell in love have now become her baseline for the future. She's now 43 and single (but not bitter or angry, thank God).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:24 PM
3

I don't think we need to talk about whether my husband has lots of free time or not, that's irrelevant and personal to the general point. Women are busy, as well, and no one needs to entertain anyone. The commenter you replied to wasn't talking about entertaining, they were talking about communicating, which everyone (man or woman) needs to be engaging in.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 06:42 PM
2

I honestly don't understand how we're now talking about men and women working less or more these days. I was talking about how men and women text each other on mobiles today, just as a matter of convenience. I might text my husband to pick up bread on his way back from work and he can take a few seconds to reply yes or no. Same goes for him texting me during my workday. This is all very basic stuff. I don't know anyone who "nags" or demands to be "entertained" by any men during the workday. It s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 06:25 PM
2

How did women survive before phones let them nag men 24/7? How is sending one text asking something relevant or saying hello "nagging?" Before cellphones, there was email and pagers, before that there was the telephone. Before telephones, our workdays looked very different and people had more time for interpersonal relationships because everyone basically just worked 9-5.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 06:17 PM
6

I have a career, hobbies, family, etc etc yet I still make time to reply to my friends' texts. If someone is so busy they don't have time to respond to a text in a respectful manner, that person doesn't have time for an actual relationship then.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 05:59 PM
3

Why do so many people on this sub go to the extreme opposite of what a commenter says? This is guy in your video clearly reeks of desperation and awkwardness and is clearly not the concept of the man u/funlightmandarin described in their comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 05:56 PM
–

Every gf I ever had wanted a protector. Most of them wanted to be "taken care of". Sounds like you are/were in the military? You just might be attracting a certain type of women who're drawn to military men because they see you as the protector. Lots of women I know, who aren't looking for protectors and don't want to be taken care of, tend to not want military macho manly men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 05:43 PM
–

I don't want to get into a hostile debate here so I'm just going to put my thoughts on this below and move on. Personally it's inconceivable that someone's job doesn't naturally come into the conversation because, after all, it's how you spend the bulk of your life. That said, I can theoretically see why for some people, on a first date they may wish to keep their job separate from the date. If I dislike my job or it causes me stress or if I'm just apathetic towards, it, I may wish to keep the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 11:14 PM
1

I'm trying to find a brewery with good food for this evening. Anything in West Seattle or other neighborhoods you'd recommend?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 10:39 PM
-1

Again, it's unfair to jump to that directly. People may not want to be asked "So what job do you have?" on the first date for various reasons. I've heard one of the reasons being they want to be known for their passions and interests instead of what they "do" for a job. And I think that's a perfectly valid preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 10:37 PM
1

Not a big fan of Kell's although Post Alley is a gem. Zig Zag FTW! Fado's IMO is a much better Irish pub. T S McHughes in LQA is topnotch for the ye olde English Pub vibe and fare, but for whatever reason it's always dead. We should just start a chain on Seattle bar/breweries and restaurants.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 10:25 PM
1

And god forbid you ask them what they do for work. Which is funny because it belies their intentions: get sex as quickly as possible. I feel that's a bit unfair. It just could be that your conversational styles are incompatible instead of jumping to nefarious ulterior motives in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 10:19 PM
2

Seconding Navy Strength. I had their Zombie cocktail (they specify that they only allow up to 2 per person) at 6pm and was drunk till 11pm just on that one drink. They don't fool around. u/KickKathleeenKennedy pls note if you're ever in need of liquid courage.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 10:16 PM
3

That’s totally a thing in Seattle where people hangout and don’t talk It infuriatingly is. People here are generally introverted and possibly socially awkward so you could just be overwhelming them even though you're totally normal conversationally. I'm a transplant too and I'm thankfully married; if I had to date here I'd probably lose my shit. Or move.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 09:58 PM
4

That's kinda weird that men seem to have a problem with you asking questions about them and their lives. Maybe it's the manner of asking follow-up questions, if it's rapid-fire or too much too soon type of thing. Anyway, I commented on your other post that in Seattle the saying that, "The odds are good but the goods are odd," applies to the men here. So you might be running into that as well. On a slightly unrelated note, your post unexpectedly facilitated an interesting discussion I had with an…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 09:40 PM
9

So PPD are there differences between each scenario? Yes, in one scenario the men are impatient and in the other, the men may be willing to be patient for the pump and dump OR they're genuinely into you while still wanting to have sex with you. It's harder to tell the difference in the latter scenario. You're the Seattle lady who's a high earner and has plenty of hobbies and things going on in your life, right? I think you having very high walls might explain your difficulty in dating more than y…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 09:29 PM
6

There are women who... there are women who feel entitled it There are always going to be "some who..." for anything. Don't extrapolate that "some" to "all" or even "most." Also, u/MajesticMaple didn't come across "mad" in their comment. Stop being so immature and defensive and learn how to have a proper debate (one which you started).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 06:44 PM
14

Yes, no one is owed sex and no one is owed a relationship. Both scenarios apply to both (all) genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 06:20 PM
2

That PhD is higher class and would command greater respect, but Eminem commands more power and possibly has greater sexual impact (but likely for very different types of women - I doubt the same women who is attracted to Eminem would find the PhD attractive and vice versa).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 03:25 PM
2

Aren't there plenty of tradespeople who love their jobs?? Also, lots of white collar professionals hate their jobs too. They even made a movie based on it, Office Space.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 01:41 AM
–

Rooftop's probably my all time fave brewery in Seattle. I dislike sour beers; if you're into them definitely hit up Holy Mountain and Figurehead if you haven't already. Cheers.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 11:03 PM
–

i think as the guy above said we will live with a certain happiness/unhappiness level and women will always be unhappy!! I'm that commenter. Firstly, I'm a woman. Secondly, that article I read which talks about inherent happiness levels didn't have anything to do with gender. It just said all people, man or woman, have inherent happiness levels regardless of circumstances. Don't will nilly make this a gender thing when it isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 10:37 PM
–

Right you are. It's the culture, polish, refinement, and sophistication that really make the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 10:29 PM
–

I feel personally attacked by this. Might need to go do the Ballard Brewery Passport to forget my sorrows As a hipster IPA lover, no need to feel attacked. I have a 6 pack of Reuben's Summer IPA and another of Rooftop Brewing's Tropical Staycation IPA in my fridge. Hell I mightn't even wait till 5pm...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 10:27 PM
–

It’s not so much the money as it is the class You said the magic word. I cannot agree with you more! I'm a class snob.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 10:10 PM
–

I agree, hypergamy isn't really required anymore. If you're a high earning women, you really don't need another high earning man - of course, it'll be great if he is in addition to being a compatible partner to the woman in other ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 09:56 PM
–

OP is very..... not-Seattle, Really? I thought she's quite Seattle - in tech, soccer (go Sounders!), hiking. Stereotypical Seattle things. She just needs to confirm she's into (non-Starbucks) coffee, craft beers, and her wardrobe is various shades of black and gray! I think it's possible that stereotypical Seattle women are more extroverted while the men are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 09:52 PM
–

I'm in Seattle and I've heard it said numerous times that for women, "The odds and good, but the goods are odd," in a relationship context. Guys here can be more socially incompetent, depressed, or just not that into relationships compared to other places. PNW is an introverted and awkward person's paradise. You'd have much better luck in NYC or more extroverted places.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 09:27 PM
17

I'm one of those women who finds ambition in men very attractive. The thing with ambition, as with most things in life, is that it correlates to other traits in the ambitious person. An ambitious person will also tend to be more driven, resilient, intelligent, with good interpersonal skills, healthy habits, etc etc in order to fully realize their ambition. In your example of an ambitious man who wants to punch 100 random guys, this man will more than likely have a purpose that makes him excited …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 09:07 PM
–

I'm ~ 20 years older than you and a white collar professional. Pretty much all of my friends are professionals in various fields. Some of my highly qualified and high earner female friends are single because they have unrealistic expectations of men. None of them is happy being single, but I'm fairly certain if they forced themselves to marry whomever will have them, they won't be happy either. Based on my life experience and observations over the past few decades I'm becoming certain that each …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 08:56 PM
–

Isn't a short term relationship by definition a promiscuous one? STRs are never intended to be committed to monogamy so regardless of any DT traits or aspects, sleeping with someone other than the STR partner is a given, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 07:06 PM
1

Nice one! Both attractive, intelligent, had common goals with different approaches and attitudes to keep things interesting yet stable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 09:03 PM
3

Not the above poster but I think what they mean is just being authentically nice doesn't guarantee you sex (and this goes for women, too). Being genuinely nice is a necessary but insufficient trait to get sex. If I interacted with a genuinely nice guy, I may still not be attracted to him but it's not because he's nice. It's despite him being nice. On the other hand, if I am attracted to some guy and I find out that he's not genuinely nice, I'll not be attracted to him any longer. Hope that helps…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 07:01 PM
2

Not very familiar with the show but I've heard people say Tiffani Thiessen and her husband's dynamic is a good one.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 04:01 PM
1

Haha really??
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 03:59 PM
1

Yikes, that was quite the shitshow
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 03:59 PM
1

Thanks for replying although I sadly know NONE of your listed examples!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 03:59 PM
1

Yeah! Detective couples are certainly fun to watch.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 03:58 PM
1

No clue who Patrick Jane and Theresa Lisbon are but based on your description of their relationship dynamic, it sounds like a good example of a healthy relationship. How do you not know FRIENDS (Ross/Rachel, Monica/Chandler) and The Office (Jim/Pam)??
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 03:58 PM
2

I'll heartily agree with you re Ross/Rachel and Monica/Chandler. RR were just awful and in real life, they'd have imploded spectacularly or been still married but each one seething in resentment of the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 03:55 PM
1

Good reply, thanks for addressing as many of my examples as you did :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 03:54 PM
1

Oh that's a good one! I'm not that familiar with all the superhero characters or movies but I do remember Capt America and Peggy Carter a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 03:53 PM
1

Great examples, I especially love Aunt Viv and Uncle Phil (RIP). I'm not too familiar with some of the others you've added in your comment (Jane the Virgin or Rogello/Xiomara).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 02:57 PM
2

I dig this
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 06:24 AM
2

Touché. I also appreciate your PNW bias shining through.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 06:23 AM
2

I love your example. Their relationship is reasonable and realistic because of how authentic they both are but in very different ways. It’s an organic relationship dynamic. Thanks for bringing this up.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 05:51 AM
0

Why so much bitterness? Yes I actually do believe what I'm saying, and it's because this is what I've seen around me and experienced in my own life. I also am not saying 100% of women are like this, or that 0% of women are; just that on average women are receptive to emotional men so long as they communicate it in an emotionally healthy way (not "sadbois" or Debbie Downers).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 04:45 AM
3

Finally a rational person and response here. Well articulated.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 02:48 AM
2

What is this obsession with this mythical "Chad" (whom no one can even agree on what he is, btw) on this sub? "Chad" is almost irrelevant here. Women want a well-balanced man who knows when it's appropriate and how to open up emotionally to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:59 AM
3

Firstly, I didn't say women are drawn only to successful/famous poets/playwrights/artists. Secondly, "sadbois" sitting around with their woe-is-me attitude is unattractive because desperation is unattractive in men and women. That's why we have the negative stereotype of the Debbie Downer. A man who is ready to share his vulnerabilities and emotions is different from a male Debbie Downer. DDs are perpetually helpless and desperate and negative, which is unattractive; they're not unattractive bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 01:10 AM
0

Whether it's performative or authentic, only men control that. I can only say women are available to listen when men are willing to share their emotions and vulnerabilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 12:56 AM
1

What makes you say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 12:55 AM
6

Women have always been drawn to men who openly talk about their emotions. This is why women are drawn to poets and playwrights and authors of emotive literature; there's literally a stereotype of women being attracted to such men. So yea, women are emotionally available for those men who are in touch with their emotions and vulnerabilities and share them with the women in their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 12:31 AM
1

There's more money in the world every year, sure, but inflation is separate from how much money there is. GDP PPP and QoL measure different things and not just inflation. Housing a great metric to measure inflation. Automation is a real effect. I'm a lawyer and just 10 years ago the jobs that bottom tier law graduates were able to get are now being automated out. Legal Tech is huge. The trucking industry is rapidly advancing to driverless vehicles - if that happens, it's going to have a huge eff…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 08:07 PM
6

Automation (AI in particular) is a big issue and is only going to get worse in the next decade. Income inequality is rapidly growing to exacerbate matters. Labor really doesn't hold much power these days and hasn't for a couple of decades now.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 07:41 PM
5

They're replying to NarniaFox's question about Japan's herbivore men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 07:38 PM
1

Curious about the 10pm choice of deadline. Why not 8pm or 12am?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 06:02 PM
8

This is a fantastic take, you're being reasonable while also having expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 05:23 PM
8

I also believe that there should be a greater push to make women aware that just because a guy sleeps with you, it doesn't mean that he finds you particularly attractive or interesting and that a lot of guys, especially on dating apps, will fuck anything and will say and do whatever it takes to get you into bed. This is a very poorly kept secret. Unless you're totally clueless or under the age of 18, most women already know this.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 05:21 PM
4

"He shouldn't be with me because I was his only option" he isn't actually attracted to you and only got together with you because he thought it is a better alternative to being single what if he truly had no options, but actually is attracted to you. Usually when people say he was with her only because he had no options, they're saying he's not actually attracted to the women he's with. So in the scenario where he's attracted to you, women usually don't care if he has other options or not. That …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 05:16 PM
1

Often it is because they did put all the work in and got zero results of what they wanted for a while, so they gave up. No, being fat or unmotivated or lazy are all typically because of some negative stimulus other than not finding an SO - e.g., childhood abuse/trauma, poverty based hardship, health issues like thyroid or clinical depression. If not being able to get sex or a relationship (unless you're significantly older) is causing you to be so unmotivated or lazy or obese, then you're just a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 04:54 PM
1

Trying to isolate just one thing in a complex human relationship is never going to be accurate or end well. A fat man or woman is unattractive in more ways than just because of the extra weight; the fatness has implications regarding lifestyle, mindset, confidence, health, etc. Likewise a high income man/woman has positive implications - discipline, health, consistency, lifestyle compatibility, etc. Each of these relationship traits encompasses a bunch of micro, but healthy, behaviors. So, sayin…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 06:14 AM
2

because of the lack of realism Oh for sure, it's the fantasy that makes these scenarios fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 10:34 PM
8

I'm happily married, but if I were single I'd have loved the shit outta the typical meet-cute with a romantic preppy handsome guy. An alternative would be the rich brooding guy who just needs love in his life to unlock his gooey centre. The first scenario might be Matthew McConaughey's character in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. The latter could be Richard Gere in Pretty Woman (but where I'm not a prostitute!).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 10:04 PM
4

I feel like the women are over reacting to my commentary more than the men. Probably because of the casual way you're claiming women wanting to be treated as an equal adult by their romantic partner is unrealistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 09:50 PM
5

They got this idea that men were going to take them seriously as adults. I have male friends who treat me that way but romantic partners, no. WTF. The men in my life, immediate and extended circles, all take their female romantic partners seriously and like adults. Don't go around spouting this nonsense like it's the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 08:33 PM
8

Wouldn't bother me except if he's unemployed and therefore it's likely he's only after me for my income/money.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 07:08 PM
9

You’re generally right that women won’t give a fellow woman grief over her man’s looks, but it’s much more likely that a woman’s friends will give her the side eye over her man’s education/career/money.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 03:38 PM
3

No I don’t. If anything, I think being “Alfa” is not being genuinely confident. Confidence isn’t synonymous with dominance, it just means you’re comfortable in your own skin.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/21 06:33 AM
2

If a guy has maximized his looks, his attitude, and confidence but still doesn’t get dates then what could be happening? The problem is you trying to examine a complex and nuanced situation, comprising multiple facets, and trying to identify just one facet as the determining one. Anyone trying to get into a relationship needs to have all of these: looks, attitude, confidence, intelligence, personality. It's pointless to say someone's hit a 100% on some of those but has 0% of the others. It doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/21 05:16 AM
1

Thanks for clarifying, I did misinterpret what you said. And in case I wasn't clear in my very first comment, I really was asking why you thought 2 aspies being in a relationship was shitty or sad (arising out of my misinterpretation of your comment). I wasn't being snarky.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 06:52 PM
3

So, sorry not sorry? There are different ways of interpreting sentence construction and language can be ambiguous. If you can't be gracious and open minded with some internet stranger, it speaks volumes about your character.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 04:23 AM
-4

Learn how to debate and disagree respectfully. No reason to have a tone. We'll let u/ArtNo6372 tell me if I misinterpreted - which I concede I might have.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 03:45 AM
-5

Didn't take it out of context. The only way they're ever getting a gf is another apsergers girl or similar. It's sad because no one's really at fault. Dating an asperger's girl or similar is sad because it's no one fault... but it's sad. Which means what, that an aspie guy dating an aspie girl is sad. There's your context.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 02:58 AM
3

The only way they're ever getting a gf is another apsergers girl ... being condemned to a probably shitty if at all existent dating life Why would a guy with Asperger's consider a relationship with another Asperger's person to be "shitty?"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 01:15 AM
12

Practical advice? Get your physical and mental health sorted. If you have insecurities, resolve them. Work on your social skills and learn how to be socially engaging. Don't be a homebody or loner. Be interesting and do interesting things. Learn effective communication, not just in the corporate or professional world, but also in the relationship context. Don't get too comfortable in victimhood. Vent to your friends if you must, infrequently only, but learn that life is unfair and hard, and lear…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 07:01 PM
2

I’m a woman and I find it hard to wrap my head around women being this selective too. I’m also in my forties so from a different time. Maybe that makes the difference. I would feel quite complimented (now and in my 20’s) by a man approaching me in your hypothetical scenario. Respectful pleasant confident men are the dream.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 04:23 PM
4

The ratio of men to women is roughly 5O/50 in the US. Where'd you get this data point from? To answer your question, it's important to know who makes up this 50% of single women. Is it 50% across all ages and demographics? That's relevant because if it's only 10% single women in their 20's but 60% of single women over the age of 50, then we know the majority of the 50% of single women are likely where the 50 year old single women are - not at schools or bars/clubs. Also, if a 50 year old woman i…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 09:27 PM
–

Absolutely. I've encountered this personally and have seen countless examples within my own social circles. A 5'5" man needs to compensate for his lack of height for sure, but even a much shorter guy like Peter Dinklage can get with a good looking woman with his charisma and intellect and money.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 12:12 AM
-1

Nailed it. The one other thing I'd add to this list, actually replace your Point 4 with this one, is: Develop my charisma - learn to be engaging, witty, charming, virtuous. Be well read. Be interesting. Basically, develop a socially engaging personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 08:39 PM
11

This is ridiculous. Are you actually telling me that a husband/fiance doesn't have anything different from a friend??
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 08:27 PM
6

Even the kindest men feel like they can throw their weight around just because they’re the breadwinner. "Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely." Kind men are still human beings and are susceptible to this corruption. (As are women).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 03:44 PM
58

Aside from low frequency descent: The settler will be condescending/patronizing and maybe even outright contemptuous of their settled-for partner. Even in public. They may take the partner and the relationship for granted.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 10:22 PM
0

Fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:32 PM
0

Let's not mesh sexless and loneliness. The problem is loneliness and lack of companionship. The problem is also a lack of purpose in life, a reason for getting out of bed each day. Men can get plenty of socialization from a support system; from other men and women. Build communities for themselves. That'll go a long way to dispelling loneliness, which I absolutely agree with you is decimating the bottom tier of men. But let's not confuse sex and romance from the distinct issue of loneliness and …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:24 PM
-3

For someone as highly educated as you, I'm surprised you've fallen prey to the good old ad hominem attack.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 05:20 PM
9

Ok, so literally anything in life MAY eventually lead to something unideal. So never do anything ever? It’s probably your negative and defeatist attitude that’s hurting your relationship prospects.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 04:24 PM
1

Happy to help! Any human issue is layered and it’s even more so when it comes to reproduction and child rearing - the former is too damn easy and the latter is too damn difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 03:59 AM
10

It always surprises me to see some guys on PPD say all they want is a pretty face because it's pretty far from the norm IME. The men on PPD aren't (usually) the ones you'll meet in your regular life. Reddit in general skews lower class, lower incomes, lower education, etc. And on this sub, the men (maybe also the women) tend to be lower dating-class, if you will. You should always take what they say with a grain (bucket) of salt.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 01:47 AM
19

One reason is that single mothers and single fathers don't have identical say in the child being born - the mothers ultimately can choose to terminate (assuming access to safe abortions and economic resources for it), and so when they decide not to, society judges them for their choice. A man doesn't have this type of decisive choice. Another reason is simply misogyny. A deadbeat father should invoke the same visceral disgust in the dating pool that the same single moms do. But because of millen…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 01:34 AM
1

A man will still take a broke woman who has a nice personality and is beautiful. High status men will absolutely not date a broke woman, no matter how drop dead gorgeous she might be or how nice. High status men aren't going around picking up homeless women. Pretty Woman was just a movie, don't confuse it for real life. A high status man might go for an unemployed woman, as I outlined in my example above, but that's because she has other qualifications to compensate - like her similarity in educ…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 06:08 PM
1

Gladly. A man who is professionally qualified, let's say an MBA, and works at Bain Consulting for 3-4 years. He easily pulls $200+K annually but also works 70-80 hour weeks. Let's say he's burnt out at the end of these 4 years and says screw it, I'm gonna take time off. He's now unemployed and with no real plans for when he'll decide to work again. This man now has no income but he's still got his educational qualifications, his experiences, and his critical thinking skills that he's picked up a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 03:38 PM
2

“Money status” Did you just coin a new phrase? Status and money are different although they have some overlap. Money is a part of status but having money alone won’t give you status.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 03:36 AM
7

In what world is Kate, especially 10-15 years ago, just a 6?? Even by Hollywood standards she's easily a 7. In the real world she's an 8 on a bad day.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 11:12 PM
3

> If you really think about it, men are the catch in relationships. No. > Women will always desire male attention. Just as men will always desire female attention. > The simpishness of men has allowed women to escape accountability. And women with low or no self esteem have allowed male awful SOs to escape accountability. > Unworthy women need to be seen in the same light as unworthy men. Unworthy men and unworthy women absolutely need to be seen in the same awful light. 100% agreed. GOOD men ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 06:09 PM
1

I think we need to define what hypergamy means. Traditional or conservative women likely define it as a physically more dominant man (taller, bigger), is more intelligent, earns more money, higher status than her, is typically masculine (manly man). As a coastal liberal woman (middle aged though and married), I know plenty of coastal liberal women in my generation and younger who’d gladly welcome house husbands or stay at home dads and date men who’re not as physically imposing, who lives to coo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 01:42 AM
1

You said it much nicer and more eloquently than I did
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 01:22 AM
1

Who tf doesn’t want the best option they can get?! Not like guys are scrambling around trying to date the fattest woman out there. FFS.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 01:12 AM
4

I have multiple dealbreakers, physical dealbreaker is just one of them. So even if I find a guy who is physically super appealing he needs to meet my other must-haves too. Adonis level good looks alone wouldn’t qualify him for a relationship. That said, if he’s otherwise healthy and hygienic I find doughy men very unattractive. A skinny man is preferable to be compared to even a slightly chubby broad shouldered man.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 01:08 PM
2

Personal subjective opinion incoming: You sound like a sweet person who's intelligent, but you are coming off a bit... simple or naive about certain hard facts of life. I find it strange that it's never once crossed your mind that your sister's condition might have an impact on your marriage prospects. Relationships aren't just all about love. An LTR has massive lifestyle implications. So any rational and pragmatic potential SO is going to be evaluating what their future life with you might look…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 03:34 AM
1

this one aspect really does offset everything else they bring to the table. It's a pretty big aspect, though, and has vast potential to be disruptive for SOs and spouses. I'll be very honest, this would be a dealbreaker for me. That friend I mentioned was very similar to you in that she came from a great family (both doctors), very attractive, very well educated, classy, interesting, etc etc. Even she had many men turn her down because of the situation with her brother. For potential SOs and spo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 11:51 PM
1

I'll disagree with that. In my few months on this sub, I've seen hostile commenters regardless of location who start off in a rude tone and continue to be antagonistic. It's not even about the substance of their comments, it's just the tone and manner of conveying their content. I know of at least 2-3 commenters with whom I've had pleasant and productive debates, and they're from the liberal/coastal cities. I've seen way more antagonistic commenters who're conservative or from noncoastal cities.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 11:31 PM
5

If I were you, I'd edit my post where you say you come from a "good family" to reflect this angle. Please don't get me wrong, I'm nit trying to shame you or your family, but for relationships it is significant to see what family situation look like. I'll give you an example. One of my good friends has a low functioning autistic brother, and her very well-off parents are taking care of him on a different continent to where my friend lives. But my friend is expected to take care of her brother whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 11:26 PM
1

Honestly most commenters here, women AND men, seem quite antagonistic right off the bat. It seems unique only to this sub, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 11:21 PM
4

Based on this comment and some of the others, I looked up your reddit history. Sounds like you have a sister who is perhaps not high functioning autistic, and 2 parents who are sometimes too busy for her - is that right? It's possible the "beau" you wanted to bring to your parents' home didn't like your family set up and after seeing the state of your house, made some assessments about you as LTR material.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 10:44 PM
0

Thanks for replying, and not getting upset with me for asking about a sensitive issue!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 10:31 PM
0

Please don't take this the wrong way, but is it possible you might be overweight...? I only ask because in my experience, a lot of women (and most men) working with food tend to partake of the fruits of their own labor...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 10:15 PM
1

Your friend is beyond pathetic, a loser. The woman is a beeeyotch.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 07:41 PM
–

You seem to be a smart guy so I wonder if it's a case of very intelligent or analytical men ironically having trouble connecting with or understanding dating and women. I think it's very likely that he lacks EQ and empathy, which are critical for close emotional relationships. He's eschewed wearing masks and in his detailed explanation as to why involves only him - he's not thought about how him not wearing masks might impact someone less vulnerable than him. Just a small but revealing aspect of…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 07:30 PM
–

First of all, congratulations on your life's accomplishments - it's incredible how much you've achieved! It's no small feat and I hope you remind yourself of these achievements at times when you feel down. you might think quite quickly: "don't fancy him...next!". What I am supposed to do? Tell you: "You're not allowed to reject me because I've worked on my social skills"?! The point of self-improvement isn't to appeal to every person out there, it's to increase the probability that you'll appeal…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 04:52 PM
–

As I've mentioned previously, dating is not like virtually any other field, where you inevitably improve by investing energy, precisely because it's reliant on subjective perception. If you practice tennis, you get better. If you practice chess, you get better. If you learn French diligently, you speak better French. If you try to make yourself more attractive and improve at dating, there is absolutely no guarantee of any results whatsoever, no matter how attractive you might be. Patently false.…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 04:13 PM
1

I appreciate it. I didn't think it was cruel, just needless. I really think we should encourage everyone, boy or girl, to be mentally and emotionally resilient and independent. A healthy expression of feelings and emotions is part of that resilience.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 03:48 PM
1

Assumptions upon assumptions....
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/21 03:40 PM
2

Women who want 6 foot, 6fig, 6inch men probably are ok with 5'11 5inch dick men making 80k, and men who want 10/10 agreeable family women are probably ok with just not fat and not the town bike with 100 bodies. I believe it's unequivocally better to be single than settled for. You're essentially saying people compromise (which is good) but when people settle, that's a bridge too far. I agree. To your question of why some people settle (vs. compromise) instead of being alone: Those people are pic…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 11:41 PM
2

Interesting, thanks for the link. This makes me sad, I hope by shedding light on this we can turn the tide. No one, man or woman, should be shamed for healthy expression of their feelings and emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 10:45 PM
-2

That's not been my experience; I've only ever seen the opposite where fathers tell their sons only girls cry. I've also seen situations where the young son cries, mom comforts him, and the father berates the mom for comforting the son instead of telling the boy child to stop crying.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 09:46 PM
2

Thanks for taking the time to write your detailed comment. I agree that as middle aged straight woman I haven't been on the receiving end of women's romantic treatment of their partner. But that said, it sounds like a lot of what you wrote only applies to bad romantic partners and not women as a whole. I too know bad male partners just as I know of women who're bad relationship partners. Doesn't mean that there aren't good male partners, and so there are plenty of good female romantic prospects,…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 09:44 PM
6

So I googled and found this interesting article: " One thing we can say for certain is that, in participation trophy studies from both sides of the argument, such trophies lose their effectiveness as kids get older. Around the ages of 8-12 is when kids start to have mixed feelings about participation trophies; by this time they understand how to play the game and that the primary objective is to help your team win. When they see everyone, losers included, receiving trophies, it can leave a kids …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 08:22 PM
5

It's telling when people on this sub use the word "reparations" to describe what goes into building a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Weaponizing a relationship and using that against women seems pointless but I see so many men here do that. It makes me wonder if they have had the misfortune to be treated badly by a couple of women and they're now overcompensating for that by projecting it on every woman out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 08:12 PM
3

A friend was an abusive ex because he didn't like her going out on girls nights out at clubs/resorts without him. This one is pretty abusive IMO, controlling and possessive. Although it'll be fine if the girl consents to this and he agrees to impose these same boundaries on himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 04:25 PM
–

That what a woman values changes as she grows older. A girl wants X at 18, Y at 25, Z at 30, A at 40, B at 50, and so on. This also goes towards that bitterness I often see here, where commenters are upset that a woman would have rejected them at 25 but wants them at 35. They see this as settling. First of all, it's very rare that the SAME WOMAN who rejected you at 25 will come back around to you at 35. Secondly, even if she does, she's not back because she's settling for you; it's because she, …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 03:28 PM
0

To what extent does the height of a man affect his attractiveness? To a fair extent but it's far from being one of the top 2-4 traits. What is your minimum cutoff point for height? I'm like a midget sized 5'3, so anything below 5'6 is probably not attractive. What is the height of the shortest man you have dated/hooked up with? Probably 5'8 or 5'9. What is the height of the tallest man you have dated/hooked up with? 6'3-4, believe it or not! What is the height of the most physically attractive m…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 04:20 AM
10

A trust fund socialite will probably only date a trust fund guy with a high powered career which guy wants a stay at home wife from a similar socioeconomic background. unattractive and doesn’t offer the life you’d want from a wife Who's the "you" in your scenario. A trust fund socialite isn't looking to get with the same guy for whom a single mom on food stamps is an option. Completely different demographics.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 11:46 PM
4

I naturally have a baseline level of trust regardless of gender. That trust level can increase or decrease with that particular individual depending on my specific interactions with that individual. I don't have a natural trust or distrust of an entire gender, no. I don't trust women as a whole nor do I distrust men as a whole. That's silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 05:12 PM
1

5'8" isn't short at all, don't feel down on yourself because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/21 04:43 PM
1

but anyways it's not a good look for men No, it's not. u/ChibsFilipTelfordd is clearly agreeing with you and copying your own sentence structure as his response to what you said. In any case, I'll just let him clarify this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 10:25 PM
1

He's agreeing with you that it's not a good look for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 10:20 PM
7

No one here seems to actually agree on what or who a Chad is. That's a threshold problem right there.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/21 08:55 PM
1

Are students not going to bars anymore?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 09:02 PM
1

Preach!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 07:28 PM
6

The joy in those kids faces Beautiful :) The world needs more of your kind of compassion and dedication. Just wanted to let you know the impact your comments here have had: You inspired me to donate to 2 different causes in the last 15 minutes. It's nothing compared to the kind of investment you plan to make, but hopefully small steps add up and make significant difference to those who need it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 07:25 PM
10

so I changed my plan to being open to fostering high school girls later on. That's so noble, you're a good egg.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 07:01 PM
0

That's fair. I was a grad student (when I saw what I described) back in early to mid 00's and this was in the US, big city.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 05:52 PM
1

Exactly. Can't get laid if you're holed up in your room night after night.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 05:51 PM
2

Finally a voice of reason. When I was a student I've seen many of my average looking guy friends get laid at least semi-regularly on friday and saturday nights. Girls would get drunk and have beer goggles too and pair up with whoever was in their line of sight. Good times for all, average looking men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 05:25 PM
1

Yup I agree with you and if I were single, I wouldn't date single dads either. I was just stumped by the brutality that men here display when referring to single moms. Women just don’t point it out because they’re too busy replying to the single unencumbered men that are beating down their inboxes. Good point!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:16 PM
1

I fully agree with your stance, it's just plain common sense. I was just bewildered by the disdain and shaming of single moms here, hence my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 06:04 PM
0

Ha I can get behind this hot take
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 04:28 PM
1

Not from what I've read here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 04:04 PM
1

That's a very fair take.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 04:00 PM
1

I understand this sentiment, makes the most sense to me. What I don't get is the visceral negative reaction that I've seen from men here against single moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 03:56 PM
1

You'd not think less of a guy, a father, who's only minimally involved with his own child? What kind of a man is he then? How do you think he'll treat you?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 03:55 PM
1

I will somewhat disagree with Smurf on this one. There is a balance to this aspect of dating a man whom her friends approve of. In my opinion and experience, secure women (and this applies equally to men) will date those men who fit into their lives well. This will include being able to get along with her social circles, or at the very least, not make it difficult for her to continue her social circles. So if I were to date a man who my friends dislike actively, I'll question our compatibility. …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 03:51 PM
9

From what I've read and seen, single parents end up with each other. It ends up being a compatibility/commonality point for each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 06:17 AM
8

Isn't that true for any parent, mom or dad? Why single out the moms?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 06:12 AM
6

So single moms are entitled but single dads should be relationship pariahs because they're doing a good job? How do you define "entitled" and "doing a damn good job" in this context? You mean like the NYC radio show that tried to get a date for Hillary Duff and ALL the men rejected her because she was a single mother? First I'm hearing of this. I just meant the men of this sub seem to hate single moms. I wasn't referring to Hilary Duff or any other celeb.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 06:11 AM
-1

We all mistakes and we all learn from our mistakes as we navigate life. Are you telling me you have't made mistakes at all? Cuckold isn't the word for a man who steps into a healthy family dynamic. Cuckold means the woman has intentionally trapped you for no purpose other than to be provider for her and her child. Most single moms aren't thinking this way. Single moms are just as human as anyone else, you know, not perfect but not also not perfectly evil.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 05:37 AM
2

I see a lot of negativity towards feminism here on PPD I get the sense that when people here attack feminism or feminists they have a specific kind of feminists/ism in mind. Those that seem loud and obnoxious and man-hating. Feminism and feminists are about equality (where possible) and equity (where male-female inherent differences make equality impossible). TX is a religious-leaning traditional state generally, and those are never good for women except in some specific instances.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 09:08 PM
2

guys who spend all their money on consumption The guys for whom $100 a week is no big deal is my target demographic (or was, when I was dating, I'm out of the market now). So the guys for whom $100 is "spending all their money" is filtered out by the time the second-third date timeline arrives.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 07:13 PM
3

I'm an extrovert and was more extroverted back when I was actively dating (I'm super old now), so loved meeting new people. I loved first dates because of the chance to get to know a new man, so it worked well for me. I understand there are other personalities for whom this wouldn't be a positive though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 07:11 PM
3

It's not a foolproof test, just a threshold one. That classic necessary-but-not-sufficient thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 05:58 PM
5

What you're really trying to say is you want him to pay because it communicates certain things to you, like that he's interested in you You're right that him paying communicates certain things to me but wrong about the interested in me bit. Him paying communicates 2 things to me (among others): his socioeconomic class and how he handles money (generosity, in a way). If he doesn't pay, I'll pick up the whole tab without blinking (from a financial standpoint) but dating-wise, even if he asks me ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 05:52 PM
5

I'm generous financially too. The men I used to date didn't want just one thing out of their relationships: sex. They wanted that PLUS other things which a hooker wouldn't give them. So yea, you can take that $100 and for sure get laid but those weren't the men who wanted to date me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 05:42 PM
4

Oh of course, I'm not deluded that a man wants to just take $100 and scatter that away for no reason. What I meant was the difference between having to pay the bill for legal reasons and for dating reasons. I want the man to pay the bill for dating reasons, not just legal reasons (i.e., bill needs to be paid or restaurant will come after you).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 05:40 PM
4

Then why not be more upfront about it and simply look around aimlessly when the bill comes like a lot of other women do? Why the need for a test? I need to know how the guy truly thinks/behaves. If I don't even offer, I'll never know whether he pays because he thinks he has no choice but to. I want a guy who WANTS to pay. You may or may not agree or not even see the difference, but that's who I view it. Are you in the socioeconomic class of men that you want to date? Firmly so.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 05:34 PM
10

I have my own strategy for financials on the first through third dates (made my own post about it too - don't know how to link to that here). I'll make an authentic offer to pay or go dutch on the first date but if the guy ever takes me on that, the chances of a second date with him are minimal at best. It's not because I want a traditional guy, but I instead vet for financial stability and generosity. If the guy thinks a $100 first date is too much money, he's not in the socioeconomic class of …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 05:21 PM
1

I think there are cultural aspects to this. In the US and Asia, this is typically true. But I've heard different opinions on this from European countries. I've heard that in those countries, especially in the northern European ones, the default is going Dutch (which is where that terms comes from!).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 05:02 PM
16

A guy who acts exactly how she wants at all times w/o having to be told, and if he doesn't they nag and criticize him. Nagging to me means having to repeatedly ask or tell. I'm not expecting him to read my mind at all, but I am expecting him to register when I ask him to do something once or twice at most. I don't fully get the mindset of one gender feeling like they're parenting the other, although I've certainly read a lot of those here on Reddit. In my opinion, a partnership covers each other…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 02:58 AM
57

If a man you're in a relationship with is neurotypical and not affectionate towards you If you want affection, why does it matter whether the guy not providing that to you is neurotypical or not?? Is not receiving affection better from an aspergers guy compared to a non-aspie?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 05:19 AM
2

What does class have to do with this...? A lot, actually. Mind elaborating, this sounds interesting and I'd love to know more. Because people dating are often looking for someone to make their boring lives better. Thus, unless you actually live a fun and exciting life, you'll have to make your regular, normal life sound more fun. I thought people dated to find their significant other, not to battle the daily grind. I'm old and married now, but back when I was dating my dates were all about our w…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 11:12 PM
2

Sounds like people who haven't spent considerable time in the lower class. What does class have to do with this...? You can't sit down and be bland on a date and expect people to like you. Sure, but why does being honest and authentic mean being bland? The context for this whole comment chain was conflict avoidance right? The poster to whom you responded said one can be honest as long as it's communicated with kindness/gentleness. And I agree with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 10:39 PM
1

Amen. But perhaps the autistic person (the commenter above) may struggle with effectively delivering difficult feedback. So to them, it's like either "Yo, wtf is wrong with you" or just full avoidance. Which is a them-problem of course, but there it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 08:59 PM
3

If this has consistently been your experience, you're surrounded by the wrong people. Most people in my life value authenticity and being honest with kindness. I've sat a friend down and told him he needs to sort his ish out. Gently and with love, but he heard my message. Our friendship became much deeper for it. I've been on the receiving end of these conversations, too, and we're all still friends to this day.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 08:57 PM
–

I was just pointing out in real time how I find myself agreeing with a lot of your comments while disagreeing with your big picture view.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 07:34 PM
–

See, I agree with you here!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 07:31 PM
4

Normal folk call it flirting, bloopers might call it "being yourself", terpers might call it "game", I might call it banter Basically being charismatic and likely exhibiting confidence. This boosts your attraction. For an average/above average looking guy, it enhances his looks. For below average looking guy, it mitigates his looks. You're very right. Being able to talk and effectively communicate your romantic interest in women is critical.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 05:41 PM
2

Your point is very valid and China and Japan would fit if you just expanded your point to include not just religious/third world countries but also traditional ones. China and Japan are both ancient civilizations and are therefore very traditional. Traditional/religious/third world (aka poor) societies disproportionately value women's fertility and chastity.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 04:07 PM
2

In your premise, are you equating popularity only with social media popularity? I think answers may vary if you were to change contexts to a popular person with many friends in real life, or a popular person in the corporate hierarchy (i.e., a well liked boss, etc). I'd wager these real life popularity situations might be viewed positively.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 04:03 PM
4

I really think that person is trolling you. At least I hope so. I've literally never once heard someone say they only find women with zero support system attractive. That sounds ... like a fringe element. shudder
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 04:00 PM
1

I really appreciate your thoughtful and detailed reply. I think it's fair to say we each bring our subjective perspectives and biases to the dating game, so it makes sense that we all weight confidence differently. I was only saying confidence is a positive across genders; not that it's THE positive or that it's a gamechanger. I'm also a relatively new member of this sub, so not sure what "bold game" means. Or if that even changes my understanding of your entire comment!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 03:44 AM
2

I think confidence implies knowing that you'll be okay regardless of the "result." you're going for. Unless being okay is the result in and of itself. #meta By George, we solved it. Ha, the English language in all its frustratingly beautiful glory!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 11:50 PM
1

Gee whiz, what does that remind you of??? I'm stupid I'm sure but I don't get your point! Do you mean Inc#l or something like that...?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 11:37 PM
2

To me, it takes a confident person to be comfortable in their own skin. And a person comfortable in their own skin is a confident person. I use them interchangeably. Is that not the correct usage?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 10:01 PM
2

To me that’s a distinction without a difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 09:49 PM
6

It's weird that this sub is even debating whether confidence is a positive quality for both genders. Men love confidence, they may get turned on by cockiness, but arrogance kills it for a lot of them. I'd venture basically the same thing for women as well. For some reason, men here seem to think confidence in women is either irrelevant or a net negative. They also believe women across the board love arrogance and cockiness and apparently Chad embodies this. shrug
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 09:38 PM
8

Hahaha who thinks joy or beauty is naivete?? Maybe someone who doesn't know the meaning of the word?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 05:31 PM
1

Why do you think that this happens with the people you've seen?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 05:30 PM
11

OP, who I think is a man, is the one who brought up naivete. Not old women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 05:30 PM
18

There is a world of a difference between having an attitude and saying I don't need no man, and being basically a wide eyed child.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 04:20 PM
20

Anyone who treats "naivete" as a positive is suspect. Why would being naive or gullible be a good thing? Like, "Tee hee I don't know the world, I don't know how to stand up for myself or know what a respectful dynamic is," is attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 03:58 PM
24

I don't know whether it's the same but honestly I think any relationship where one person is too much older/younger than the other is weird. Age means experience, and experience makes for wisdom/smarts/knowledge. Why would one want to be with another who's way less/way more of those things compared to themselves? There's usually a reason why, and that reason isn't always a positive one.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 03:48 PM
2

Thanks for the links. Agreed, even just a Bachelors is a big factor in predicting your odds of divorcing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 02:32 PM
11

Here is the article quoting the stats in my earlier comment: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/want-to-stay-married-get-a-degree-2014-09-29 I don't know how to link properly here I guess!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 07:43 PM
30

Married 13 years, together 15. Marriage is hard and tedious and downright boring some days. One needs to have the sense and maturity to realize romance and love are not always needed for a healthy marriage to survive; if your marriage is otherwise healthy, you need to have the commitment to power through the bad/tedious/boring phases. Mind you, I'm not saying one should be committed to unhealthy marriages. Those you need to GTFO. Also [among college educated folks who choose to marry late 20s-ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 06:58 PM
1

Thank you! I think you might be one of the few commenters here to actually list out HVM traits. This is helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 06:27 PM
4

Yup that seems to make the most sense. A Chad can be a HVM (likely not) but HMV doesn't have to be a Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 03:29 PM
3

The biggest difference between dating and being a fuckboi/gal is good faith. I think that's what u/Flightlessbirbz is getting at in differentiating between a man dating around to find the right woman and a man dangling a relationship but having no intention of actually committing to any woman, right or wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 03:28 PM
5

Then he was never "Chad" No true Scotsman? How would you define a Chad?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 03:25 PM
4

It's probably a mix of both - don't care to and may not possess the qualities to be able to, even if they care to.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 03:24 PM
1

So does that mean there's no concept of a HVM...?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 03:23 PM
2

Yea this makes a lot more sense to me. After reading a lot of these comments and yours, it sounds like Chad and a HVM are two separate concepts. A Chad can be a HVM but more often than not, he's just got high SMV. A HVM is a lot more RMV-oriented and may possess just average to above average looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 03:22 PM
2

In that case would I be right in calling a man, I subjectively consider to be attractive, a Chad?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 03:02 PM
1

So my question then becomes, how are we defining a HVM? Is HVM = SMV + RMV, or is it only SMV?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 02:59 PM
2

So is a HVM just a guy who has high SMV or does a HVM need to be SMV + RMV?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 02:56 PM
1

Income, career, and status are more to do with RMV not SMV. And this is largely true for men although it is still a factor for women. Career is still a big factor in assessing someone's affluence and potential for achieving a certain affluent lifestyle in their 30's and beyond. That's why doctors and investment bankers/hedge fund guys are in great demand. As certain job titles become more mainstream and known, their salaries become better known in the dating market too. So these days people gene…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 10:48 PM
3

This is a stellar observation and explanation that while status is relevant, how much influence it holds varies greatly depending on the other person. I second the commenter below on how this should be its own topic here.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/21 06:00 PM
28

Good question, I too would like to hear from men who make these statements. My guess is that they want these women to reflect on what led them to this particular guy, what led them to engage in this particular act, etc and then course correct if need be. There are some women (and men) who have patterns of behavior which are not exactly positive. Like maybe they're drawn to bad boys or they put with disrespectful behavior from others. Taking responsibility would probably mean spending some thinki…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 08:14 PM
-1

Based on your comments here it's safe to say your personality is definitely acting against you
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 03:35 PM
2

They probably don't have the time or energy to be out and about!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 11:24 PM
5

the more baby mommas it seems the more women want them Only trashy women. I can guarantee you no quality woman is finding men who have fathered multiple children with multiple women attractive. Trash attracts trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 11:19 PM
5

Well said.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 11:18 PM
1

This makes a whole lotta sense. The amount of single moms in low income areas is disturbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 11:15 PM
2

Fair enough. Then I'd say single moms are worthless not just to "high value males" (however you define that) but to literally anyone who doesn't want to date single moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 10:52 PM
10

Why should anyone try to change your mind? A lot of single moms remain single, a lot of single moms get into relationships with single men with or without kids. Who cares except the people in those relationships? You keep doing you and avoid single moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 10:29 PM
2

Strawman argument, dude come on. I already said getting laid is a very strong imperative just that it's not the only one. Men's world isn't binary: incel - laid-all-the-time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 09:33 PM
2

True, good point
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 09:32 PM
2

Cool story
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 09:27 PM
2

Men aren't straight up animals who only ever care about one thing - getting laid. They may care more about that but they also care about other things like social standing, pride, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 09:24 PM
1

the main reason straight men don’t open up to women is because women are turned off by male insecurity. We’ve seen it time and time again where a woman wants her man to be more open, and when he does, she loses respect and dumps him. Evidence to back this up? I've seen women get turned off by extremely emotional men but I've also seen men take the absolute mickey out of fellow men for not being masculine enough (whatever that means). So as with anything, it's not overwhelmingly one gender laying…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 09:15 PM
1

I don't know if posters here opposing OP's stance are losers themselves and so feel called-out, or whether they're just arguing for the sake of it. Needing to have some goal/purpose/interests is so basic to being a functional human being, whether you're a man or woman, that I simply don't see the need to even question it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 08:32 PM
1

This applies to women too. A person without any goal/purpose/passion is a cardboard cutout and super unattractive. I wouldn't even hangout with such people as friends leave alone as dating partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 08:11 PM
1

?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 07:28 PM
1

Besides men paid for women because they had careers and women didn't. This is no longer the case. Equality is equality even when it doesn't benefit me. (note, I also believe women should be drafted in a war) I love your take on this and absolutely agree with every word above. If I were dating a (male) student while I'm working, it wouldn't sit right with me to just let him pick up the whole tab on the first date... in mist cases even if he was the one to ask me out. At a minimum, I'd split but I…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 06:41 PM
1

men don't care if you're nice or mean; they care if you're hot, interesting, smart, or fun. I'm sure there are guys to whom niceness/meanness doesn't matter but there are plenty of men to whom this is an appealing quality to have in their date. There's a reason she's posting on /r/datingoverthirty and it's not because this strategy is a great success. I'm posting on a bunch of different subs because I'm interested in learning about things which are new to me and/or are different to what I've enc…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 06:33 PM
3

You make a great point about the shaving and other feminine grooming expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 02:53 AM
0

I blame the society which failed to teach men to pull their weight inside the home and learn to compromise. Women don't have to only be moms and/or homemakers and men don't only have to conform to a different stereotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 11:47 PM
-4

Lesbian relationships can have imbalances too, you know. But that doesn't exempt hetero marriages to cleave to gender roles that disadvantage women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 10:52 PM
3

True
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 09:41 PM
53

If marriages reward men at the expense of women (men just work and come home to chill; women today work AND do all/most childcare/household stuff), then it makes sense for the husbands to want to stay put and women to want to get the fuck out. This data is almost meaningless without knowing the reason why women are the ones overwhelmingly filing for divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 08:49 PM
1

I must be dense today, I don't understand your comment at all...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 08:18 PM
1

One of those guys, yes. Married over a decade. The last time I had a first date was well over 12 years ago, I hear things have changed somewhat :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 08:01 PM
2

TIL! I didn't know that that Dutch referred to Belgium; always assumed it was Netherlands Dutch.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 08:00 PM
1

If a guy asks me out and doesn't pick up the whole tab on that first date, I'd not look down on him but I'd also not be as attracted to him. Because this doesn't gel with my values - If I ask out a guy then there'd be no question that I'd be picking up the whole tab.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 07:48 PM
1

How interesting. I haven't heard of this before and it's quite a breath of fresh air in some ways. Mind sharing which country this is?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 07:34 PM
2

Ha fair play although it's extreme on the other end of the spectrum
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 07:20 PM
3

This sounds very reasonable and I agree with it. I also hope to trend an increasing trend of women asking guys out on dates, because then it becomes a realistic equality where women have to pay for first dates. I’d never do more for a first date than go out for coffee or something similar. I don’t really care if it makes me seem cheap, because I am cheap, and she’d be getting the wrong impression of me if I pretended that I was the type of guy who likes to splurge. Brilliant. I'm the same way. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 05:49 PM
4

Preach
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 04:24 PM
4

Just get her thoughts on gender equality during the date. They're just words, she can say whatever. Paying is backing up words with action.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 04:20 PM
4

I like your mom's way of thinking, and I am 100% on board with your entire second paragraph. I literally can't remember an occasion where the guy didn't insist on paying on the first date, despite my obvious attempts to pay/split.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 04:12 PM
6

My experience has been that my date either looks away and pretends she does not notice the check or does the old fumbles for her purse Ugh massive cringe. I'd much rather they blatantly just look at you expecting you to pick up the tab compared to this cringy dance.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 04:02 PM
4

Why would I invalidate your experience if you said you knew what your female friends thought about a certain topic/issue?? I actually think that's a lot more valid than anyone claiming they know their entire gender's opinion on something vs. they know what their opposite-gender friends' opinions are on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 04:00 PM
2

Although you seem like a gem because you INSIST on paying What a nice thing to say, thank you :) men don't want to feel like they're being babied not do they want to be taken advantage of. This, a 100%. Men are humans just like women and should be treated with the same respect and compassion.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:55 PM
10

This is fascinating, I wasn't aware of this experiment, thanks for the share! It definitely is a real psychological phenomenon that people respond to power/dominance. I will be lying if I said I wouldn't view a first date differently if he didn't pay if he asked me out. That said, I absolutely love when the guy is very confident in himself when I pay on the second date. I am seeking only egalitarian guys who aren't traditionalists or conservative, so it sends a strong signal to me when the guy s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:54 PM
4

but the expectation should never be on me as "the man" to pay. It's still the default and I'm happy to slowly see it shift to a more egalitarian model. Most guys are appreciative of reciprocity. Yes progress!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:50 PM
0

But you're not a man. You know "most men's" viewpoint on this because you've spoken with plenty of men, right? So have I. But if you're claiming that I can only know viewpoints if I am a man, then really, we all can only truly "know" what we as individuals think. Another man is as likely to lie to you (or not) as my platonic male friends/coworkers are to lie (or not) to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:48 PM
0

I can speak for men the same way you can speak for other men, because like yourself, I too have had normal interactions with men and know their viewpoints. I don't see the need for a curt tone here, we're just discussing civilly.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:39 PM
1

This is almost exactly my paying philosophy as well and it has worked for me flawlessly. I don't understand the bitterness or hostility some people here have exhibited on this issue, seems needlessly complicated in their minds.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:37 PM
1

Thanks for your comment. I'm guessing you're RP because of your flair? I thought RP women were supposed to expect the man to pay and not even offer or split?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:36 PM
0

Fair
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:35 PM
0

Thanks for your perspective, although I do question your claim to speak for "most men."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:28 PM
1

Huh? I'm not an FDSer.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:27 PM
4

As you hit 35 and above, even men lose their notorious sex drive. Well, it diminishes, doesn't go away of course. So your standards tend to go up. It's all demand and supply after all. In low demand conditions with a fixed supply, 35+ men become pickier. Also as you said, by 35+ most men would've had experience with quality sex and so not just any sexy times will scratch that itch. I am willing to bet prostitutes are more popular past a certain age largely because the juice just isn't worth the …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 02:51 PM
1

All my male friends have sought out intelligent women, beautiful women, and kind women. I've not heard one man say he's looking for a funny one. But if you're intelligent it's unlikely that you have no sense of humor because humor needs intelligence to conceptualize. But on the off chance that you're one of the unusual intelligent-but-utterly-serious women, I strongly doubt a man who's interested in you will turn you down if you're also beautiful and kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 04:49 PM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 02:22 AM
2

Money definitely is an important factor. Can't live without it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 02:11 AM
1

Sure, nothing wrong in finding these girls attractive or in dating them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 02:10 AM
8

It's not 100% looks - 0% personality when it comes to romantic relationships. It's a combination of those two factors, and others. Without stats to back me up, I'd guess most people (men and women) would suss out their respective physical attractiveness and go for partners in the same/similar bracket. Sometimes you get an obvious mismatch, which typically indicates that the less physically attractive partner has significantly more of another factor which balances out their looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 02:05 AM
1

There are a few factors contributing to this. One is that previously nerdy stuff like sci-fi, fantasy, D&D, etc have become mainstream. Second is that compared to the older generations, where adults were supposed to be serious and stoic and leave all traces of childhood behind, we are seeing a more Peter Pan syndrome manifest in young adults today. So where perviously our mothers were supposed to be interested in more adult-specific things (vacuum cleaners or knitting needles, for e.g.), young w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 12:27 AM
1

200 pages? Hard pass. But I did look up the basic definitions of BP and RP, I definitely am more BP. I like the self-improvement aspect of RP but that's just common sense: "Be the best version of yourself" is something that's said for everyone, man or woman, RP or BP.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 10:40 PM
2

This is an interesting question/observation. In my experience, I had LTRs with 3 men who were all about the same physical attractiveness. I ended up resenting the hell out of one of them (G1), took for granted one of them (G2), and the third I genuinely fell in love with and treated with a lot of respect (G3). Mind you, this is all with hindsight; I didn't realize any of this during those LTRs. At no point did I stop being a feminist or stop valuing gender equality. And neither did my personalit…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 05:33 PM
1

what makes you have some blue pill in you sis? TBH I'm pretty new to all this RP/BP stuff, and whatever I know is what I've picked up from commenters in this sub over the past month or so. So based on my very limited understanding of these concepts, it's more likely that I lean more BP than just possess "some blue pill." I believe in equality, don't believe the 2 sexes are biologically that different from each other, and if I ever hear someone tell me I'm supposed to be submissive, I'd ironicall…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 02:01 PM
2

I was flabby all through my teenage years and early twenties. Then I intentionally lost weight the healthy way - diet and exercise. But my diet especially was a lifestyle change, not just a fad. In my forties now, I'm still slim, because it's just habit now. The moment I lost my weight in my early twenties, guys came out of the woodwork, and it was quite the ego boost. It took some getting used to initially but since I've now been slim more than half my life, I no longer really think about it. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 04:25 AM
1

Well we meet again today, and only for me to find out you're a fellow attorney!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 04:45 AM
2

But I do agree with OP that when it comes to LTRs/marriages people on average date within their class, and this is backed up by data on income and education in marriages. Yup, my post specifically mentions dating and LTR/marriage across class divides and I underscored that in my response to u/BlackPorcelainDoll 's earlier comment where they mention having friendships and conversations with people generally: You make excellent points BUT your comment seems to be talking about forming acquaintance…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 04:33 AM
2

My post was specifically talking about dating and conducting romantic relationships across classes, not striking up conversations with people in your everyday life. I even said this in an earlier reply to your comment: You make excellent points BUT your comment seems to be talking about forming acquaintances or friendships. I find class to be easy to overlook in most casual relationships (eg, coworkers, acquaintances, some friendships) but harder to overcome in close friendships and more so in L…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 04:29 AM
6

Subjective. I don't think Brad Pitt George Clooney Chris Hemsworth are all that attractive whereas others think they're the epitome of hotness.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 02:02 AM
1

Oh yea I wasn't saying you or your family isn't upper middle class or imply you're uneducated. I was saying it's not uncommon among educated and upper middle class Indian families to have the guy and girl be alone; in fact I think it's fairly common to let them interact alone. But again, this has been my observation with Hindu families, maybe it's different in Muslim Indian families?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 01:58 AM
1

Here's the thing about arranged marriages, there is NO dating going on at any point pre-marriage. The first time you spend time in person without family around is AFTER you get married. The most you can do prior to that is talk on the phone. This isn't true for the educated middle and upper middle class Indian families. These families will be just fine with the guy-gal going out for a very brief dating period BUT no overnight stays. So you can meet in person for coffee/dinner/lunch, and without …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 01:33 AM
1

This is a very good point. Values also feed directly into lifestyle, which is a big part of class.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 12:25 AM
1

How coincidental! But I'm still struggling to understand what you are referring to. Any concrete examples you can give?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 12:24 AM
1

Ha, thanks for the laugh!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 12:12 AM
2

Thanks for validating my choice :)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 12:07 AM
1

But as a class signifier, is it considered middle class or lower? I'm pretty sure it's not higher than middle class.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 12:00 AM
1

What do you think that implies?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 11:58 PM
1

Hahaha you're so right, I was struggling to find a suitable example and went with this one like we're living in the 90's! Can you help me with an appropriate restaurant?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 11:55 PM
1

Huh that's awesome you're able to keep up your close ties with people from significantly different classes. I would find it difficult unless perhaps we've bonded for a long time prior to ending up in different classes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 11:27 PM
1

So wanting to spend more time with someone you're interested in is simping? Do you go out of your way to NOT interact with someone you like?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 11:23 PM
2

Sure. Please do bear this is just my opinion so I don't come into this armed with sociological definitions and stats! Class comprises a lot of factors including money/wealth and education. If you went to college, it is more likely than not that you were exposed to people with sharper minds, intellectual habits, and other things our society deems as positives. This also means that a person, who comes from a lower class family, attends college, will be exposed to higher class traits and people. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 11:09 PM
1

I'm not judging you, no worries. Mind telling me what you mean by lower class men and talking crudely that it scares you? Like, firemen using the f-word or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:58 PM
3

Education is a large part of class though, so your mobility makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:56 PM
2

You make excellent points BUT your comment seems to be talking about forming acquaintances or friendships. I find class to be easy to overlook in most casual relationships (eg, coworkers, acquaintances, some friendships) but harder to overcome in close friendships and more so in LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:56 PM
1

You'd be surprised at how much more in common I have with middle class white kiwis than I do with working class Asians. If only because my formative years I was middle class. I hear you 100% on this. A lot of times I think racism is largely a part of class war and that poor whites and blacks have a lot more in common than poor whites and rich whites. Pity they fall for the racial aspect pushed on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:54 PM
2

Sure, wasn't saying you should do it or that it is okay to do so, I was just observing that it seems to be quite common to date one's colleagues.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:34 PM
2

Yup so much about this is about lifestyle. Which is pretty much why I find sad not to be able to date in your work environment, but it is how it is. I think in theory people say they don't/won't date coworkers but in reality a LOT of relationships start with colleagues.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:27 PM
3

I think he also liked her physical attributes :) But yes I agree with your point there. That's an intriguing thought. I wonder if it's because the more you're familiar about the status rankings, the more you internalize them and you end up starry-eyed/buy into the inequality, which materializes into lack of equal confidence on part of the lower class person in that relationship. BUT if it's cross-cultural, then the lower class person probably hasn't internalized the divide/ranking and so might b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:15 PM
1

Ah gotcha. So Meghan Markle and Prince Harry would be a cross-cultural cross-class relationship then?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:09 PM
2

How embarrassing, I mistook you for a different commenter on an entirely different thread! Sorry. Your ex sucks for pulling that move for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:06 PM
2

This makes a lot of sense to me. Education is a huge equalizer so if the two individuals earned the same/similar degree and from the same institution, that would go a long way towards eradicating class differences from their respective upbringings.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:03 PM
1

Thanks for your comment, but I'm having trouble understanding this part: Class never fully translates across cultural lines, so the differences mean less. Care to elaborate, perhaps with an example?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 10:01 PM
2

I wouldn't say that, they actually provided data. Pasting my reply to their article: That's a neat article, thanks for sharing. So looks like higher status women are marrying other higher status men, while mid to lower status women are also marrying higher status men. Which means male doctors are marrying female doctors but other male doctors are fine marrying female nurses/secretaries etc. Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:59 PM
2

That's a neat article, thanks for sharing. So looks like higher status women are marrying other higher status men, while mid to lower status women are also marrying higher status men. Which means male doctors are marrying female doctors but other male doctors are fine marrying female nurses/secretaries etc. Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:59 PM
1

Trolling or want to move the conversation with actual evidence?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:45 PM
1

Haha casually slipping "hauteur" in conversation indicates your striving days are over.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:44 PM
2

I was reading a couple of your other comments and looks like you're in the PNW too, cool deal!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:33 PM
1

You know, I've come across your comments on other threads in this sub and found your comments rational and balanced. I didn't intend to be antagonistic in my original reply to your comment here, so I'll just let that last one be.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:27 PM
1

That's funny you illustrated your point with private-public schooling; I literally made that same point in one of my other comments here.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:22 PM
1

I mean, one meal at an Olive Garden is really more like 3 reasonably portioned meals. Heh.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:21 PM
2

Spelling isn't grammar.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 09:07 PM
3

Agreed re diet. I recently saw an infographic/chart which showed the different diets across the high class-low class divide.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 08:56 PM
5

did use it to justify him cheating Damn that's shitty behavior. And frankly, classless!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 08:50 PM
1

That is a very good point. Do you think it's because the pool of people who might pass judgment is smaller if you have a smaller social circle? Or is it something else entirely?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 08:50 PM
2

Yup. If I'm firmly middle class and don't blink an eye at eating at an above-average restaurant (say an Olive Garden, NOT French Laundry), then it would weird me out if the person I'm dating acts all googly eyed at Olive Garden. This awkwardness would only be magnified the bigger my social circle is.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 08:49 PM
2

This isn't a big question, it's common sense and what most men have been doing for decades.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 08:45 PM
3

You're right, attractiveness usually correlated with affluence because with money you can take care of your fitness and appearance (gym, healthy foods, stylish clothing, grooming accessories, etc). Also, it's "wreaks havoc" and not "reeks."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 08:44 PM
3

I think you're absolutely right. Assortative mating seems well borne out in studies. More so in our world where arranged marriages aren't the norm and people pick their own partners - usually from their own social circles. One's social circle tends to be class driven, ergo, dating happens within one's own class.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 08:34 PM
2

Your comment content is very interesting. I wonder if you and your sister (and your respective spouses) are outliers rather than the norm. Especially in your sister's case where she married "lower."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 08:32 PM
1

That makes sense. Although class is far more than just money even if it's very closely related to it. A poor person who, through scholarship for e.g., attended an elite private school, would likely be considered higher class than how their own wealth (or lack thereof) would categorize him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 08:30 PM
3

I think for a straight white male, big cities in TX would be a good bet. Or Atlanta, GA.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 07:24 PM
2

Cities where? In the US/North America/Asia/Whole world? And for whom?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 07:14 PM
1

Not sure I understand you. Are you saying they're the sucker/victim if they're attracted to me and I know it...?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 06:50 PM
20

but a man who is sluggish, indecisive, alcoholic, frugal, etc... is too much for her. These are all equally applicable to women. Any person who is cheap (not frugal) an alcoholic or sluggish is not an attractive partner. Be it man or woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 05:41 PM
2

As a woman, one of the biggest signs that a guy finds me attractive or is into me, is when he finds ways to spend time with me. Even just saying, "You're going to the water cooler? I'll go with you," for no reason other than to just talk to me. The way a guy's eyes look - they're a bit droopy when looking at me - is another tell. And they just cannot stop smiling at me, or they smile wider than other guys who're not into me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/21 05:37 PM
6

I don't know, I think everyone deserves basic courtesy and some compassion. If you're talking about a relationship partner, then I think what they deserve from each other goes up in that situation. And I stand by this regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/21 02:50 PM
17

That's surprising, did they say why and describe the types of "emotional labor" they had to do? I've heard the opposite where the women in hetero relationships carry this emotional labor and in fact are expected to do this labor.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/21 03:02 AM
27

Depression can a turn off in any relationship which requires proactiveness and sustainability/consistency. It's hard to maintain a relationship, any relationship, where the burden of nourishing it falls disproportionately on one party. I don't think this is a gendered issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/21 12:53 AM
3

Yours is such a pleasant take in an otherwise very hostile-seeming sub. Thanks for your comment! I'm also in a very healthy marriage so this sub is the only place I can go to give out advice and talk about the current climate I'd love to hear your thoughts and insights if you don't mind sharing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/21 10:52 PM
2

According to RPers, they are and these men are called beta bux
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/21 04:40 PM
3

I was really shocked to see the Gates's decision to divorce, as well, probably more so than any other famous couple's split. But I think in a way it seems almost liberating and/or optimistic that we live in times where we have the choice of putting happiness ahead of duty or obligation, and where putting happiness first doesn't necessarily have severe adverse consequences (ostacization/penury/et al). I still believe in the institution of marriage and think it benefits society and individuals, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/21 09:10 PM
12

I truly can't understand how people stay with abusers, especially physical abusers, but I've read that these victims seek familiar dynamics. So in your friend's case, maybe she herself was abused growing up and so she's drawn to future abusive relationships instead of a stable healthy one with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 11:22 PM
1

This sub making you seriously contemplate suicide is a very disproportionate reaction. You definitely need to work on your mental health if voluntarily reading an online forum makes you have such an extreme reaction. That said, this sub is certainly no picnic and I bet even a very happy well-adjusted person will walk away feeling less happy after spending more than 30 minutes here. Folks posting and commenting on this sub (vs. just lurking or not here at all) use this sub as a no-holds-barred ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 08:18 PM
1

My ex also went out of her way to damage a lot of good friendships I'd made over the years That's unfortunate. Out of curiosity, why your joint friends (the ones I assume she didn't badmouth you to) pick her over you?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 03:31 PM
6

Exactly. South Africa is a far cry from the developed West. It's very possible SA women are "attracted to" these older men for both financial and security reasons given that SA is notorious for high crime rates and poverty.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 07:33 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter