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LibbyCarrots Archive

View 2 posts and 61 comments by LibbyCarrots on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

I once read that making a decision required the most mental energy of any thought process. It made me appreciate my husband, because it's his role to be the leader, and that requires a LOT of decision making, which takes up a whole lot of mental bandwidth. So, I decided not to sweat the small stuff. Sometimes he just wants to get his belly full, and he gives no effs as to what he eats. He's tired, he's hungry, and he's been making decisions at work all day long. So, I can take some burden off of…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/15 01:50 AM
4

You sound like a smart cookie with a good head on your shoulders. I, unfortunately, was NOT so smart in a similar situation (years and years ago, before I met my wonderful husband). I can say with certainty that FWB situations with someone you love, only lead to heartache and tears.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/15 11:47 PM
2

TiMER was a really cute one. The tone is very gushy-romantic (which will only fly with, well, either of us of Valentines Day) and the premise was unusual. We both liked it! Happy Accidents is also pretty cute.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/15 02:39 AM
4

We do the same thing every year. He cooks steaks, I make salad and cook potatoes of some sort. We will watch a movie that I pick (last couple of years I've had good luck finding a romantic/science fiction combo). We will have some sort of sweet, and our favorite wine. Some years we exchange little gifts, some years we don't. It's fun! Although we may celebrate on Sunday. He's off that day, plus it's cheat day. :D
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/15 12:39 AM
2

Same!
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/14 02:51 AM
2

Action rather than constant discussion IS a better way to go! :) I wish you all the best. It does sound like you're willing to do the work, which is so important.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/14 07:07 PM
5

It didn't get this way overnight, and it isn't going to get to a satisfying relationship for you or your man overnight. I would highly, highly recommend flylady for the home-keeping and cooking aspects of your problem. Although, starting from where you are, flylady might feel really overwhelming. What if, this week, you made two changes: Before you leave for work or school, whichever comes first, you set a digital timer for 15 minutes and pick up your house. Do a few dishes. Put clothes that wou…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/14 05:38 PM
2

Haha, yes, this is our dynamic. After a really bad one the other day, I shrieked and asked him, "Why, why, why do you say things like that to me?" "Because I'm [ First Name, Middle Name, Last Name], baby, and I can!" with a grin. By that point I was laughing. Yep, that's my man! :D I'm smiling as I recall it. So cocky!
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/14 12:21 AM
2

This is such a wonderful show, and I think that this is probably my favorite scene without Mr. Rosso, haha. Normal, "boring" old marriage doesn't get enough respect, imo. We don't talk much about what a deep, meaningful love two people can have for each other even when on the surface all you see is "the daily grind".
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/14 09:51 PM
6

Haha, yes! I confess, I'm a recovering priss-pot. Having babies made toilet humor funny to me. I remember once I was feeding my first baby, and I made an important telephone call (to the bank or something) while I was feeding him. So, he was up close to the phone receiver, there was a lull in the conversation, and he LOUDLY let loose. I know the poor bank dude thought it was me, haha. I felt like I couldn't say, "It wasn't me! It was my baby!" :D
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/14 09:21 PM
8

I'm wondering if the husband isn't getting a little thrill by sending his priss-pot wife into a huff? My husband tells me HORRIBLE jokes that infuriate me. . .because he likes to rile me up. Even he knows that they're horrible. He literally wouldn't tell them at work or to his friends. He just thinks it's funny to get my goat!
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/14 09:11 PM
5

Right? Nearly every other female-centric space on the internet is going to advise hours and hours of feelings-talks to bully the husband into submission to the wife. You don't get that here!!! WHY do people come looking for that here?!
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/14 09:08 PM
2

This is such a beautiful comment. I always love your posts, TempestTcup!
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/14 07:41 PM
2

I did this with Clinique. I spent about an hour, and with the help of the sales lady, picked out both skin care and makeup. I told her, "I've never been really confident with makeup, so if you don't mind, I'm going to watch while you apply it (to me)." She made sure I could see in the mirror. They have a fantastic return policy, which made me feel better about spending so much, but in the end I kept everything, and use it almost every day. This was my anniversary/birthday combo gift, and I picke…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 12:21 PM
3

Our air conditioner broke a couple of years ago. Naturally, it went over 100 every day that week (probably was the strain of those hot days that broke it). One thing I did to help us stay cool while we slept: I got a 6 pack of bottled water from the dollar store, poured a little off, stuck them in the freezer, and then at night, I'd slide them down into a clean sock and put them in our beds. The kids snuggled them like teddy bears. It really did help! In the morning, I stuck them back in the fre…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/14 12:54 AM
9

INFP, married to an INTJ. It's bliss being married to another introvert. We spend a lot of our leisure time around each other, but not actually interacting. Alone, together. Perfect!
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/14 08:10 PM
3

Oooh, I like this. Aaaaand like so many of the posts here, this one weighs heavy on my heart. No more asking Mr. Carrots to please open up his lunch dishes in the sink. It may be stinky, but I think I'll live. :D Edited to add: I had just come from reading this post that popped up in my facebook feed. http://www.scarymommy.com/things-women-should-ask-for-in-a-pre-nup/ Yikes! What a stark difference in attitude.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/14 12:35 AM
2

Both are definitely important. My advice was coming from a place of "you can only change yourself." I think it's fantastic that you and your man looked into the material together, and applied it to each other. That's awesome. I think my husband felt a little silly about reading a Marriage Book. He's very old fashioned, and averse to doing anything too touchy-feely. He did watch the video and take the quiz with me. It was funny, when we were discussing the quiz after we took it, he said, "So you …
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/14 12:44 AM
2

Hey, no problem! I'd actually advise NOT changing up your look with the sole hope of inspiring him to compliment you. You're going into your time with him with this agenda thing going on. Also, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Change your look, sure! Change it because it's fun, and to maybe delight him (dudes like visual variety, I've heard!). I'm not picking on you. I've just been there, done that. I'll tell you an anecdote that actually doesn't make me look so hot. I'm called by …
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/14 12:12 AM
6

Gosh, that sounds really tough! I'm sorry that you had to endure that. It must have left some hurts that you carry with you. That's hard, and I know that it is. One miraculous thing about our minds and our hearts is that they're not static! We can change! We can grow! We can heal! You don't have to carry those things with you through life. You can adjust your thoughts and feelings. You can unlearn toxic things that you learned growing up. It takes work, and conscious choice, but it can be done. …
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/14 09:55 PM
5

". . . it's just deeply ingrained in my upbringing to not find love in gifts. . ." You know what, I get you. I grew up that way, too. I grew up in generational poverty, and I was raised by strict Christian grandparents who were born at the tail end of the Depression. It was pretty strongly ingrained in us not to find too much satisfaction in the material. Your man may have grown up in a family culture that strongly pushed the message, "Talk is cheap!", and, "Don't let your head be turned by flat…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/14 09:14 PM
2

So, when my husband and I were digging into the Love Languages material, it helped up both know what the other likes and what makes us feel loved, but (more importantly, maybe?) it helped us see all the times that we were telling each other we loved each other, in our own languages. So, he's an Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation guy. When he hops out of the car and fills up my tank at the gas station, that is him telling me he loves me. When he goes to work every day, he is loving, with ac…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/14 08:50 PM
2

Haha, no, but that would be hilarious! It's more of a swift squeeze squeeze like someone honking a bicycle horn. Since I don't see his hand, I nearly jump out of my skin. 12 years together and I STILL don't expect it!
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/14 04:00 AM
6

Oof, that last quote you pulled is a doozy. I think this is one of the biggest things that the mainstream How To Be A Better Wife books get way, way wrong, and that the red pill gets so right. As women, with that craving validation thing that so many of us have, we've got to be really, really careful about what our motivations are. And I could see a woman who has just been introduced to a traditional, submissive role in a marriage being really lead off course by all the books and things that try…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/14 03:12 AM
3

I think I could stand to put a little extra "oomph" into EVERYTHING. I've let laziness creep in this past week, and I've got to get back to my good, disciplined habits. More specifically, my goal is to wash ALL the dishes at night (instead of leaving a sticky pan to soak, or a couple of glasses for the morning), and put ALL the laundry away (instead of leaving that one last basket for the next morning). Slacking in all those little areas sure does build up quickly!
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/14 05:24 AM
1

LOVE the story about your grandparents!
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/14 11:08 PM
3

I must be extra dense today, because upon first reading, I thought the man who thumped her was a random dude. Haha! What an image! Wouldn't the BPers have a FIT! One thing my husband does is when I'm telling him something Very Serious, he will ever so slowly raise his hand out of my line of sight (while not breaking eye contact with me) and honk my boob. It makes me laugh! Smacks on the butt are so common around here that once I read an anecdote about a kid going to school and doing it to his te…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/14 10:52 PM
2

You know, I've been giving this some thought these last couple of hours. This is tough, because so many shows and movies with female leads are pretty much the antithesis of RPW. One TV series came to mind, although the leads are men. In All Creatures Great and Small, both Helen and Mrs. Hall are wonderful, sweet, capable women who take pride in their domestic work. It's a wonderful show, but be warned, it's about a vet's office and some of the scenes are graphic. Edit: grammar
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/14 05:30 AM
2

I liked this one. It's more how NOT to be than a how to book, but I did feel that pang when I recognized myself in a place or two. It's a solid book. That Dr. Laura doesn't pull any punches! Edited to add, not by a TRP person, as the OP requested, but it certainly fits with the ideas presented here on how to be a good asset to your man. One that pops up from time to time in more (for lack of a better word) conservative circles is Fascinating Womanhood. I'd advise any lady to be careful with that…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/14 11:08 PM
3

Oh, that's wonderful! I can't wait to dig into The White House Cookbook! Old cookbooks are so wonderful because not only do they have lists of recipes, but they have explanations of cooking methods and skills. Very few modern cookbooks have that, but we still need to know how to pick a good cut of meat, or bone a chicken, on knead bread or whatever. I will say that what the modern world lacks in instruction manuals, it makes up for in youtube videos, haha. That's actually how I learned to bone a…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/14 08:30 PM
12

I remember reading a little anecdote in a marriage book way back when about a mom saying to her adult child, "Unless there is honest-to-goodness abuse or neglect, don't come to me. You two will go to bed and make up, and all will be forgotten, while I will think, 'This person hurt my child.' and hold a grudge." That always stuck with me, and it's such a good point.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/14 10:56 PM
3

Yes, they will! I had a dear friend growing up who dated guys, and then spoke horribly about them to all of his friends. Then he (the friend. He is a gay man.) would get really hurt and defensive when his friends didn't like the guy. "Why won't you give him a chaaaance?!" But all we heard were put downs and complaints about what a loser the guy was! I don't think he even realizes his terrible habit. Once, mid-venting session, I snapped, "Is there ANYTHING you like about this guy?" I admit it was…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/14 10:45 PM
3

Nobody had anything to say about it, actually. They were all very supportive and excited for us. My family liked him immediately. His family was a bit more standoffish because of his child, though. They didn't want her to get attached if he was just on a rebound after his divorce, which I understand. They like me now. Most I've ever heard has been from friends who met us after we were married. When they find out our ages, they go, "Oh, yeah? Huh! Never would have guessed." If they're closer to m…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/14 03:36 PM
2

I was 19 and he was 30. We dated for 10 months before we were married.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/14 11:10 AM
2

I like all the 60's girl group songs.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/14 12:16 AM
13

I'm of the opinion that the trying-to-avoid-awkwardness-evasive-maneuvers actually make things MORE awkward, not less. If he asks you out and you're not interested, politely decline. Emphasis on POLITELY. If you're toeing the line between friendly and flirting, knock it off. If you're getting a little thrill from his attention, but you have no intention of dating him, that's not cool in my opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/14 07:04 AM
2

When going No Contact, it's like Yoda says: "Do or do not. There is no 'try'." That means you block this person on all social media. That means you list their # as DO NOT ANSWER THIS PERSON IS CRAY in your phone, and when they use someone else's phone to call, you do the same to that number (edit: you also hang up IMMEDIATELY). Or you get a new number, and only give it to people who you know will not give it to Cray Person. You send them ONE email telling you that you don't want to speak to them…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/14 10:14 PM
3

I'm so, so sorry that this lady hurt your feelings. If it helps you feel any better at all, lots of people are weird about feet. They're weird about other people's feet, especially. But people have bodies, and feet are a part of bodies, and married people touch each others' bodies, DUH! And if this lady doesn't get that, she probably shouldn't be working in the H&B department, where all the products are meant to be applied to various body parts. About the dryness issue: Sometimes products with p…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/14 11:47 PM
2

Lestoil will take oil stains out like magic, but it has a very strong smell. If I treat an item with it, I wash it 3 times to get the smell out, and I wash it alone on a small wash. Totally worth it to me to save a shirt! I got rid of all the cute socks, and got 3 packs of all the same socks. Very plain, white, and very stretchy. Now my older two share socks. I bought one pack of baby socks for the little one, and they are all identical. This has saved my sanity. Routine is that I load the washe…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/14 04:16 AM
5

This is so sweet! I love RPW success posts!
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/14 04:37 AM
10

We took a 5 love languages quiz, and my man tied between Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. I wrote a list of all the things I could think of that he accomplished since I knew him, everything I loved about him, all the things he should be proud of, and I tucked it into a pocket of his wallet that he doesn't use. When he called from work and was having an especially bad day, I told him to look in the pocket. He still keeps the note in his wallet. One thing I do is during the winter months,…
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/14 02:38 AM
1

Stress absolutely kills my husband's sex drive. It sparks mine- sex is my favorite way to de-stress. This mismatch has been an issue for us in the past. I'm sorry that you and your husband are going through this! I hope it works itself out soon.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/14 01:15 AM
3

"And, if I'm honest, dat booty he's looking at is probably a really nice booty so I end up looking too." I have an aunt and uncle who have been married for almost 40 years, very happily, and I think this is one of their secrets to success. Because if a pretty lady walks by, her elbow goes straight into his rib, and she's all, "Bob*! Bob! DID YOU SEE THAT ONE?!?" "BOB! TO YOUR LEFT! Is she wearing a bra?!?" It's such a habit that she actually did it while we were waiting for the florist to open, …
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/14 04:12 PM
1

My man is covered in tattoos and built like Bruce Lee. Meow! We've been married over a decade, and he has a great job. I will say, he is lucky to be in a field where he doesn't work with the public. One thing to consider about tattoos is going to be your ability to get the work you want. One on your chest, though, shouldn't be a problem, as long as it's low enough. Sorry to sound like a mom!
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/14 06:52 PM
1

Are you traveling far? Where I grew up, commenting on the physical features of others is just making conversation, and you're expected to take it with grace. The younger generation doesn't do it as often as the old folks, that's for sure. (I do love the story of my husband bringing his first wife, who carried a bit of chub back then, to meet his grandparents. His grandfather looked her over and said, "Wow. . .you're healthy!" :D ) If this is a different place than you grew up, it's probably just…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/14 08:54 PM
1

Trader Joe's and Aldi both have good prices (same parent company, too. I only recently learned that.). We also have a grocery outlet store close by, and sometimes they get flowers in. I got a large bouquet for under $2. It was nice. They looked so festive on my dining table.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/14 11:39 PM
2

Thank you! I think it is a good, visual example of what Andrew (if I knew his last name, I'd call him Mr. So-and-so) talks about on The Rules Revisited. I love his articles and charts about all the different ways we can look our best. The show, for me, showed just what he talks about!
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/14 02:26 AM
9

I'm older than a lot of you, so this is probably one of those times where it shows, but I just adore that Michelle Duggar. She is so sweet and soft spoken, and, to me, that is so very feminine. Her family speaks often about how, even when she is disciplining her children, she speaks with love and kindness in her voice. In today's world, that is so rare! We snip and snap at each other, and it's so rude and coarse. It's so easy to speak kindly when things are going well, but when someone disagrees…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/14 01:51 AM
3

Oh, gosh. I was a master debater, too, lol. My mother argued that way, my grandmother argued that way, and I had lots of practice when I got married! My husband is such a rock. He reacted much like yours. Finally, he had enough, and he said, "You know, when you do this, it really makes me feel bad! It makes me think you think I'm stupid." WHAT? I was shocked. Shouldn't I fight my corner? He didn't want a doormat, did he? The vibe around here massively improved when I learned that I didn't have t…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/14 09:29 PM
6

Having married a man who has a child, I will say what no one said to me: this will affect everything in your whole life, in ways you can't even fathom until you're right in the middle of it. Also, I was not warned of my husband's ex's level of CRAZY until I was already married. It's. . .it's a long row to hoe, is what I'm saying. I've been lurking and reading for a long time here, and RPW says often it's about giving women options, and also, I would say, an education in regard to the consequence…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/14 06:06 PM
1

I appreciate you being gracious in the face of my ignorance! :D
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 07:51 PM
1

I didn't realize. I guess my growing up in the sticks is showing. :D We were always 10-20 years behind the times, haha. Thanks, TempestTcup!
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 07:37 PM
1

I get ya! Were there a lot of women completely supporting themselves? I assume most were married and supplementing the family income, and many more than today stayed married. Anyway, I stand corrected. I should have left that bit out. My point was more: Dad probably just cares about your future well beings, get off his back, save money if that's what you both want, and hush up about what it's for.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 05:48 PM
2

Haha, point taken. I was more referring to this particular woman's ability to make money to live, compared to the women from his generation. Hope my meaning was clear!
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 01:05 AM
5

I'm not sure this is something you even need to convince your dad. If the money is going into savings, who cares if in your mind it's earmarked for your and your parents' financial future, and in his mind it's earmarked for wedding and grandkids (which would still be considered a part of your financial future)? He is from an older generation. He grew up in a time where an unmarried woman's future was often pretty bleak. He might be worried about you and your sister, and what will happen to you i…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 12:47 AM
2

Bless your heart, what with the pregnancy/postpartum hormones AND adjusting to life on/off/on ADHD medication. Talk about a double whammy! All the more reason to try to hold your tongue when things get heated between you and your husband. I know in the past I've felt ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN I was in the right about something, and I was absolutely the one being "logical" or whatever, and looking back I was absolutely in the wrong. I feel ashamed of those times. Hormones flood the system, and logic fli…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 10:24 PM
6

This is all fantastic advice, and I want to second the makeup thing. I have a spinal injury, and have days where I'm in pain pretty much all day. Medication may take the edge off, but it still hurts. Every day, EVERY DAY, I put at least neutral shimmer eye shadow, lip gloss, run a brush through my hair, and put ear rings in. It makes me feel so much better. I also have a collection of t-shirt material type clothes in cute cuts and colors. Say, instead of sloppy plaid pj pants, I have solid capri…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 07:32 PM
2

"the only way you can overcome this is with time." Absolutely. OP, I see my past self in you. I was 19 with some baggage when I met my husband. He was 30, in the middle of a MESSY divorce, and had serious trust issues. Most of the women he had been in relationships with had cheated on him. His first wife didn't, but she broke his trust often, in other ways (taking out loads of debt without his knowledge, speaking poorly of him, etc.) He did not trust me. Not one little teeny bit. He wasn't a wee…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/14 10:46 PM
1

Ah! This sounds a lot like cotillion, but shorter/lighter. OP, if you're in the Southern US, you might want to look into cotillion.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/14 03:32 PM
1

This is a beautiful analogy. Your friend's friend is very wise! I'm going to work hard to remember it.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/14 02:18 PM
4

This is a fantastic article. I had an "ouch" moment about the turn toward/turn away-to-bids-of-attention thing. I may not be so awesome about turning toward my husband when he is enthusiastic to show me things that I don't know anything about.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/14 01:58 AM
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