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LittleWinn Archive

View 10 posts and 357 comments by LittleWinn on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2206

SCROTES MADLittleWinn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 11:24 AM
1148

QUEEN SH*TLittleWinn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 01:45 PM
505

FDS SUCCESS!LittleWinn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 12:50 PM
198

FDS MEMESLittleWinn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 03:14 AM
62

LittleWinn/r/askFDS05/12/20 04:54 PM
32

COUCH CREATURESLittleWinn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 03:11 PM
1

DISCUSSIONLittleWinn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 12:05 PM
1

SCROTES MADLittleWinn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 06:50 PM
1

RANTLittleWinn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 07:26 PM
1

COUCH CREATURESLittleWinn/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 04:01 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
56

This is literally what I’m doing when my prepaid gym training sessions end. My trainer is one of those guys who entertains himself by flirting with women when he’s bored and acts like it’s completely fine to do to women. No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 12:59 PM
8

Oh man I love this post. Sis you called me out when I needed it!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 05:23 PM
1

Mods I thought these were being relegated to Mondays only?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/22 01:34 PM
38

This exactly how my second husband behaves. Every conversation with women is him arguing with every sentence or plan. He’s actually been disciplined at work for it and still refuses to admit he does it. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 01:28 PM
18

YESSSS thank you! I haven’t been reading lately because I’ve felt like…there’s nothing to read!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 01:12 PM
19

I had the same thought!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 11:27 AM
110

I don’t tolerate drug use in my life, hard rule. So no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 11:22 AM
286

Don’t engage dudes in the sexy and flirty texting. That’s a boundary, maintain it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/22 12:27 AM
39

Vanguard, I use a Target Date Retirement Fund. Set it and forget it, they automatically adjust the balance between stocks and bonds as I near retirement age best decision I ever made.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 02:38 PM
32

Anne of Cleves for me!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 09:45 PM
3

Would you share a pic?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 03:36 PM
6

Ooooh that’s a great idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 01:13 PM
9

That’s a great idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 11:45 AM
9

Ooooh that would really make some colorful chairs pop
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 11:43 AM
79

I’ve decided I’m turning my dining room that no one uses into an old fashioned sitting room for myself. A sweet round white table, a vase of flowers, a warm reading light and two comfortable floral chairs for when I want to read and drink tea. And a rug! Muted pinks and reds I think. Any suggestions on a wall color?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/22 11:39 AM
206

I’m actually eliminating sources of stress and labor for myself. I’m overwhelming myself instead of focusing on being present for myself and my daughter. Here’s to simple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 11:51 AM
26

1) you are not EXTRA because you have things you passionately enjoy and that make you squeal, they are simply not enough 2) focus on your career, sex and money won’t buy you love and acceptance from any of the string of losers who will target you 3) get therapy, seriously, soon 4) build your relationships with strong caring women, they will teach you more about life than any man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 01:05 PM
102

Shake made it crystal clear from their first interactions that he was a self hating and shallow man. Doesn’t date women who are overweight or of his own race, like I genuinely don’t understand why Deepti even entertained him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 01:45 PM
36

YES thank you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 07:29 PM
-9

I talk to him quite often, but I feel I initiate the conversation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 07:24 PM
22

So, I’m currently only entertaining him as a friend. So how would I look for red flags?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 07:15 PM
71

Ok but I’m struggling with this, the first man I’ve been head over heels attracted to since doing EMDR and I have no idea if that’s good or bad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/22 07:05 PM
212

Male, 30, believe I’m a good dancer but actually only know one move. My entire personality is my 6 pack and biceps, so if you enjoy actual conversation I’m not your guy. I read the Laws of Seduction and now I’m a giant douche canoe who creates TikToks about how to run game, while I’m divorced living in my aunts spare bedroom and lost custody of my three kids that I “love” more than life! Also, didn’t fight for custody. If you enjoy looking at me and also don’t expect effort, hit me up! Wyd?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/22 03:18 AM
10

Yep. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/22 07:23 PM
47

Yes this happens to me a lot, holding multiple degrees and having an imposing shape has pretty much guaranteed negative male attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 12:24 PM
15

Already did! Best thing I did in 2021!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/22 04:52 PM
5

Yes, I totally agree. FDS queens have supported me through some terrible times and for free too! 🤪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 09:48 PM
23

I also have a Siberian and all 3 of my dogs are well trained, she is STILL a raging asshole most days 😂 these dogs do what they want and nothing else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 01:59 PM
22

This is exactly what I needed to read today!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 07:19 PM
7

A whole ass wig. He was bald as a cue ball.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 12:07 AM
123

Closest I have come to an abusive relationship was a Desi man. The handsome, sweet, charming man I met quickly morphed into a controlling, low effort, man in a WIG which also came off! Dumped him so fast. I could also see he was beginning to become physically aggressive when he was telling me I “had” to do something by getting close, looming over me, pointing his finger in my face and in one argument “pretending” to choke me. Hell no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 12:03 PM
25

A man who made many comments about my “issues”. I have firm physical boundaries due to C-PTSD although all I told him was these are my boundaries. During a moment of weakness when I was upset, he “pretended” to choke me. The look on his face when he did it was excitement. I never let him be alone with me again, did the slow fade so he lost interest, and dumped him. I saw in that moment, luckily only 2 months in, that he would eventually physically harm me and was testing my boundaries. After a l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 11:49 AM
82

My therapist is an EMDR specialist and HVM, his wife is his partner in his practice. He agrees with the parts of FDS I share with him, and stresses that if it feels right for me, it’s right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/22 12:26 AM
26

This is how I know my current relationship is done. I have been struggling with childcare, shutdowns, work FT, school FT, and you know my own health issues. Having a breakdown about it, visibly holding back tears and get told there is “0% chance he’s going to take a day off to help”. I almost heard the coffin slam shut on our relationship. Ladies, if a man will watch you struggle and do nothing, he isn’t the one. I’m biding my time, getting my legal and financial situation straight, adopting my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/22 12:56 PM
71

Have you considered you might be dealing with some PPD? If he is as amazing as you say, not arguing that’s just a preface, then it’s possible you might be dealing with a hormonal issue after the second baby that could be affecting libido. Im not saying this to pressure you to have more sex, just FYI, but for your general well being and happiness, regardless of whether he leaves you. Add: a man who choose to hide a part of his life from you (ongoing therapy) for a YEAR…is not the amazing guy you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 02:19 PM
3

I have two long term partners and live alone. It’s doable but requires strong boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 01:12 PM
1

Yay!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 03:12 PM
21

This was my thought as well, a lot of dwelling in an unhealthy way on this man and his actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:13 PM
14

This is why I watch things like I Love Lucy or The Andy Griffith Show where the focus is on being honorable, decent, dependable for the men. Andy is a guy I can respect, he treats women with respect, and he’s a good sheriff too. I don’t care if I have to spend my evenings living in Mayberry it’s better than spending it with some scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 01:28 PM
151

Part of the reason I left my first husband, he punted my dog (toy poodle) one night while drunk. Could never stay with someone who abused animals. My dog survived thankfully, and live a long and happy life with me. RIP TRIXIE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 02:24 PM
5

My ex’s family tried playing that card, when we get older we can come stay with you guys. Absolutely not. I don’t know you and I don’t owe you my labor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 07:22 PM
1

I am so incredibly glad that not only is my brother HV but he shows up for me anytime I need him, and has showed up to help me with my girl when literally no one else did. No one in her fathers family even bothered to meet her, but my brother comes and spends 2 months in the summer helping me, bonding with her, and just in general making life better. I can’t wait for him to find someone to be a partner to, because I don’t know how I would get through life without him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 07:19 PM
8

I’ve always been disappointed by men on days that matter to me, with the exception of my HV brother. I hope now that he’s working as an engineer and feels ready to date he finds a woman, because he’s a good man. I hope someday I find someone who treats me as well as he does, and until then, I’ll celebrate with myself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 02:23 PM
25

It was 100% related to his porn addiction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 12:54 PM
106

Alone suits me very well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 04:14 AM
338

This is why my marriage is ending. As I grew bigger, he looked at me less and less until he finally said it out loud. The thing I already knew. When my body changed carrying our child he grew disgusted by me, and that never changed. It took me 2 years to start to rebound physically, and by then I couldn’t even look at him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 02:25 AM
24

Can she be my friend 🥺
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 09:50 PM
71

This is exactly why I live alone. There was no backup so why even pretend. At least this way I see it coming.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:06 AM
83

My husband said the exact same things, now he’s diagnosed with ADHD and finally on meds, but why did it take me telling him I want a divorce for him to get treatment? Start counseling? Me needing him wasn’t enough?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 03:05 AM
3

Ugggggh where did you get that? I love Marcus Aurelius!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:17 AM
4

Where do I find that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 02:14 AM
24

This drives me nuts at my gym every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 02:13 AM
44

Your comment is giving me life! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 02:12 AM
95

OMG I thought I was the only woman this happened to! Was his name Greg? I had a guy I was seeing and we started to kiss, he started rubbing his face on my shoulders and neck and PURRING. When I asked wtf he was doing he said “scent marking you”. I never left so fast in my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 02:08 AM
9

I wish it hadn’t happened, cause he was very handsome and my type but yeah…can’t overlook that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/21 11:45 AM
101

I had a guy who was 30 minutes late to our first date (I left By the way) call me, angry, I wasn’t still there waiting. When I hung up, THIS MAN had his MOM call me and apologize on his behalf. Not an hour later he texted calling me “bae” which is a personal pet peeve, and asked me for gas money and if he could live with me in my “big house”. WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE AN ACTUAL DATE. Just…like….how?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 07:06 PM
19

I reported my sexual assault as a child, I was believed and supported by many members of my family. This isn’t always the case and PLEASE do not make posts like this, they can actively discourage women and children from seeking help. I understand you are speaking from a place of anger and disappointment and that is very real and very valid but again, please remember this can discourage someone from seeking help and there are some people who will be helped. I hope you’re doing better, and if you’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 03:24 PM
69

My first sexual experience with this one guy was just him saying disgusting sexual sayings from porn and trying to jerk on his dick like a rocket going to space because he couldn’t get an erection. It was the single most disgusting thing I’ve ever experienced, and even weirder, the stuff he was saying wasn’t even related to what we were doing so I ended the session. Gross. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 10:05 PM
4

I get plenty of child support my ex is an NCO in the Army and I live in a LCOL state
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 01:39 PM
30

I am a mom, and live alone with my daughter in our house. Having a kid doesn’t automatically mean living with a man, the world is changing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 01:32 PM
61

My exhusband is from an extremely conservative religious community. Think, women can’t wear pants, all food is grown by them, plows are pulled by horses, no electricity because it’s from the devil, that level of religious. I am not, and he told me he wasn’t. Within 3 months of us finally getting engaged (due to pressure from his family who wouldn’t speak in my presence, as well as my isolation from the community by women who wouldn’t speak to me since I was a promiscuous woman) he was telling me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 12:07 PM
165

The way he adores Morticia is goals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 02:32 AM
33

I dated a guy who said he was in therapy, it was just a tool he used to claim he was “working on” his behavior. Even though nothing changed, he was emotionally manipulative, and cheated. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 08:27 PM
7

My whole family is ZVM, with the exception of my brother who is a HVM, and thus remains single and focused on his education. None of the rest of them know where I am, or that I’m even married and have a child. Zero contact since I was of legal age.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/21 02:43 AM
21

I think in general this applies to neglect, abuse, sexual assaults, and so on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:16 PM
41

That happened to me as well, told my very first boyfriend about SA as a child. He dumped me saying he couldn’t be with someone so damaged. Learned a painful lesson.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:15 PM
72

That is an absolute FACT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:14 PM
30

I tell everyone I meet that I don’t have parents. It’s true. My dad ODd when I was a teen, and I’ve never known my mother. So no, no parents. They ask why, or intrusive questions, look at them dead in the eye and say “what an odd question, I’m embarrassed for you”. Then walk away because schmucks like that don’t get an ounce of your energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:13 PM
19

I try to think about it this way, I want people to know me as I am today. To love and care for me, the one in front of them. Disclosing trauma from when I was 5, doesn’t accomplish that. It may cause pity, concern, shame, or in some cases, give someone a way to hurt me. Those things don’t accomplish my goals, and I am MORE than my trauma. I’m more than my abuse. They don’t need to know WHY I build a nest to sleep, they just need to respect it. Totally different things. One of which doesn’t leave…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:11 PM
11

WOW. You just blew my mind, I do this too!!!! What a thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 05:28 PM
52

DED
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 09:55 PM
66

That’s exactly what my soon to be ex is doing in his therapy. Telling his therapist we have communication problems, when spoiler alert he has a gambling, porn, and gaming addiction. Yeah ok, whatever, continue to waste your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 12:37 PM
17

It doesn’t. It’s a label men apply to bitchy women which is why she’s concerned that you’ve attached that label to yourself. You’re not “alpha” you are a woman. Full stop. I think you may be subconsciously engaging with men you view as beneath you in order to maintain safety, hence the reference to being “cautious”. If I had any advice, as a woman who used to do the same, it’s to really spend some time with the feminine parts of myself and understand why I need that balance in my life so I can v…
/r/askFDS26/10/21 11:58 AM
43

Same, when I date a muscular guy the shaved head…works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 12:22 PM
13

I had no idea I just wanted her far away from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 10:45 PM
50

I reported at age 10. Went through physical exam that documented internal scarring from repeated trauma. My grandmother wore a recording device the police provided, and pretended I had come up pregnant and to be asking my abuser for advice. (Family friend). He confessed the “baby” was his, and he had been having sex with me because he wanted me to be his wife. My grandmother and I both testified in court, multiple times, and he was convicted. Served 6 years, sex offender registry for life, and h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 07:53 PM
59

Just dumped one of the red pill types, he asked me to be exclusive and it was suddenly no messages, not answering calls, disappearing, and “I don’t know if I’m ready to date”. Ok cool, thanks for telling me bye. A few days later when he realized I wasn’t coming back he tries the “I miss you, we had such a good thing”. Nope, no sir. You tried to get me to chase you, and it failed. It’s still failing. I blocked him, so he had his ex wife call me to ask why! Blocked her too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 11:12 AM
33

Accurate AF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 03:08 PM
162

Men cannot be friends with women. They view us as objects, either as a sex object or a tool. Either way, no thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 05:21 PM
98

That literally just happened to me last week
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 11:03 AM
16

I’ve read it, a very good book
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:46 AM
124

One I just ended things with said “I used to have violent thoughts about my ex”. Bullet dodged like Neo in the Matrix!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 06:08 PM
41

Sadly but also happily I just ended things with a man I now realize was coercive. For the first time in a while I slept easily and peacefully last night. I should have listened to my body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 10:52 AM
115

Because they will have legal rights to that child, just like you do. Use a sperm bank and just keep the donor information, there are ones that include their info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 05:33 PM
73

Lol no
/r/askFDS04/09/21 05:06 PM
182

You’re done with him, I can tell reading this. This is a pattern selfish men have, you can’t ever have a bad week or need them without them somehow having it worse and making everything about them.
/r/askFDS04/09/21 04:02 PM
158

Yay! Love seeing this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 07:49 PM
8

You’re going to realize this as you get older and have more ex’s that sometimes things hang around that mean nothing, and sometimes they’ve built a shrine. Is this album on the coffee table and paged through daily? Blocked. Is this just something he keeps in the closet and doesn’t feel ready to say goodbye to, that’s a conversation about what it means to him and how you feel about it. I will say, that stuff about “I wanted to see if he would” is immature. It’s a yes/no we don’t play manipulative…
/r/askFDS01/09/21 03:45 PM
29

The sub has been posting for days they are down for maintenance. Relax.
/r/askFDS01/09/21 12:21 PM
13

I hate when men say big words are intimidating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 11:35 PM
103

Can your mom be my mom?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 04:34 PM
2

Congrats!!!! You are happy I can feel it in your words!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 12:48 PM
12

You just described my ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 04:24 PM
31

It’s his home he has the right to set boundaries, however this IS mate guarding behavior and she needs to get out of there.
/r/askFDS07/08/21 12:56 PM
3

Sadly…do you know how many women believe they are the ONLY woman who can reach (insert man here)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 03:33 PM
91

I unfortunately tried this with what I thought was a friend. Turned out she was a Pick-Me who invited her abusive ex husband to show up at my doorstep. Did I mention he owned guns and frequently threatened suicide by cop? She was also a shit parent, messy, and an emotional dumpster fire. Now I live alone with my girl, we are broker but happier and safer!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 12:44 AM
52

I think a lot of women kind of got lost in your overall point when writing this, which I believe was, you explaining to a man why women have chosen to walk away from men in society today. Why it is increasingly the choice we make, because, he was trying to understand why women wouldn’t want to “help” men. Correct? I think your title here states your belief, which is THATS NOT OUR JOB ITS THE MEN, which is correct, however I think the women here are angry you engaged in the dialog at all because……
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:52 PM
61

The sad part of this story, is I’m willing to bet every woman in this group has experienced a version of this. Praying for it to be over quickly so you can escape safely from an experience you didn’t want, or didn’t understand, and then trying to safely disengage after the fact from someone who may do exactly what this man did, turn on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 01:16 PM
56

Easy. Become the woman’s “emotional support” or help her with things because she doesn’t have a man around like you do. 🤮
/r/askFDS28/07/21 12:44 PM
37

No
/r/askFDS26/07/21 12:23 AM
50

Good call Queen!!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 01:00 PM
8

Also a single mom here, currently going through EMDR for C-PTSD and a lifelong habit of seeking sexual attention. You are not alone in feeling the way you do, in struggling to find yourself outside of male attention. I have found it helpful to remind myself when I think of making a poor choice that I am raising a Queen and what she sees me do, she will repeat. This has been a life changing thought for me, so has listening to FDS daily and reading it first thing each morning to set my intentions …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 12:48 PM
64

I’m not crying, you’re crying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 08:07 PM
8

All I hear is “Boats and Hoes” from Step Brothers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 02:24 PM
15

I had something similar happen with a male supervisor of mine. The first man to ever be in a position of authority over me who didn’t take advantage but instead mentored and protected me. We are still close to this day, and one day I wrote him a card detailing how grateful I was for our friendship/his mentor ship/and exactly why it meant so much. He knew I didn’t have a father or mother as well. The next day, he had made me a self care basket and included a card saying that he fully believes in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 12:36 PM
95

I really like this. I’m raising a daughter, and I think I’m going to start thinking this way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 12:10 PM
43

To block them. Immediately. Don’t litigate the breakup it’s final.
/r/askFDS14/07/21 11:37 PM
203

He looks at her like she hung the moon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:54 PM
1

Thank you! This is very helpful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 12:11 PM
34

For those of us looking to level up our home/decor/kitchen got any advice? Possibly a post in FemaleLevelUpStrategy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 12:13 PM
29

Her book Home Body made me weep it was like she pulled the thoughts from my soul and I saw them on paper. I’ve never felt so seen by someone whom I’ve never met.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 12:09 PM
10

This is so incredibly true. I went off birth control for the first time since I hit puberty at age 33, and the difference in how I experience my hormones and body is insane. I can’t stress enough how much birth control affected the last 20 years of my life. Weight gain, acne, mood swings, breakthrough bleeding, cyclical depression. It’s just crap. Let a man be asked to wear a rubber for a few unsatisfactory minutes of copulation and see exactly how much he cares for your comfort.
/r/askFDS12/07/21 12:00 PM
56

This is unfortunately a common reaction by NVM. My ex did the same thing to me when I was beaten and raped by a “friend” of ours who had drugged me. Accused me of wanting it, made jokes afterward about it. Sadly it took me several months to call it what it was, a rape. That man raped me, and my partner continued that rape every time he looked at me in disgust and called me used, or told me I must have enjoyed it. I’m so sorry this happened to you, just know you are not alone. My rape was in 2016…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 11:32 PM
24

I loved the Twitch line, it is so freaking accurate. That’s not a job, it’s not meaningful, it’s another way to waste time and energy. Don’t date gamers, they got it right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 08:15 PM
11

I watched it, and very much had a different experience watching it than watching similar movies before FDS. I was mentally counting red flags 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 07:05 PM
1

I did
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 07:48 AM
15

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 10:02 PM
46

That was exactly my thought, I bet this guy has an STD and won’t tell me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 09:55 PM
50

Right? Like no sir, I’m not auditioning 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 07:41 PM
22

Yesssss! I can’t believe the stuff I used to tolerate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 07:19 PM
55

I didn’t catch that but you’re right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 07:12 PM
20

I hate carnations. I tell every guy this. I cannot count the number of fucking carnations I have received when they fucked up. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 07:09 PM
7

I’m doing EMDR right now thank you for showing me it can be inspiring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 06:59 PM
91

Yep. I said to him “why would I want to be intimate with someone who doesn’t value my comfort and safety”? For the first time in my whole life, I had that thought and kept a boundary. I love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 06:54 PM
106

The real dealbreaker for me was his attitude about it. That I was being completely unreasonable asking that someone who wants to be INSIDE my body should have to prove they will not damage it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 06:49 PM
5

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 06:34 PM
6

The emotional labor. Shit. I’m doing that right now. My brother called me out on it yesterday, and I defended my being “patient” with him. Reality is I’m carrying the emotional labor for him being shitty to me. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 02:53 PM
8

Omg I love him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 06:00 PM
32

This community is by far the best one I’ve been in, IRL or not
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 05:54 PM
12

Agreed. I’ve spent years working with adults with disabilities, extremely rewarding but crazy stressful. I still wouldn’t describe myself as “kind”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:55 PM
250

I’m divorcing a man who revealed after we had a daughter that he is primarily attracted to the “barely legal” porn and teenage looking women. I’m getting full custody and no way in hell are my daughter and I moving to where he is now. Never.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:50 PM
20

I have almost always just expected if a man asks me out he is paying. You proposed the activity, you pay, that’s just good manners. I do the same if I invite my girlfriend out for an event, I pay. The exception is stuff with my brother, or a family event my partner is participating it. If we are just “dating” and he doesn’t see the point in treating me, nah. If I wanted to pay for myself, I’d be here by myself, having a better time, without your cheap ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 11:03 AM
9

Holy cow!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 12:47 AM
16

Can you share how to protect ourselves legally?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 07:28 PM
10

This completely reinforces my decision to divorce my LV husband. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 02:19 PM
5

I agree neither did I.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 01:59 PM
9

Completely agree. I don’t know if it’s luck or my own behavior but even though I come from an extremely abusive home I’ve been lucky enough not to recreate abuse in my relationships. Violence is not acceptable, neither is joking about it. What a jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 12:07 PM
24

Hey OP. I’m going through divorce from a man who was the exact same way and it trashed my self esteem. I “wasn’t his type” but he somehow still complimented me, showed affection, and told me he loved me….right up until he found ways to access his “type”. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through that same feeling. My advice: any HVM who is interested in you will NOT be telling you how you’re not his type. Because he knows things like that are hurtful, and intended to make you feel less than, like an exce…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 12:00 PM
7

https://thesecretaffaire.com/products/the-sensual-vibe?gclid=CjwKCAjw8cCGBhB6EiwAgORey98Ygd4IVL8F2EVpQgxwBeTQwiChyfJlwomAZYs1Xt66KWLrqZ7_uBoCU4YQAvD_BwE
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 12:16 PM
53

You’ve had one date. You should not be providing him emotional support at all. You should say “I’m very sorry to hear about your losses, it was nice to meet you and I hope you have some time to grieve”. Then block and delete because he is going to try to latch onto you so he DOESNT have to process his loss, you do, for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 12:18 PM
16

If you actually want a recommendation on an amazing toy message me, I used to be fairly annoyed with them and one of the women in my Discord server recommended this one to me. It’s literally replaced sex in the best possible way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 12:16 PM
10

This post made my day. Thanks Sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 12:12 PM
1

Thank you for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 12:04 AM
1

So because FDS encourages multi-dating to stop us getting attached too soon and encourage a sort of “best of the best” mindset, how do you stop yourself feeling burnt out and overwhelmed and like theres never enough time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 11:29 PM
2

Ok I am a recent single mom trying to figure out dating, any tips or ideas you two want to share?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 07:03 PM
23

Yes, I have to agree so far all signs are good however I’m going very slowly and trying to follow the Handbook this time. My last relationship was….a train wreck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:52 PM
48

Ah, I completely understand. That’s why I mentioned the other behaviors support his assertion. No pressure for nudes, no overly sexual talk, all dates planned in public with appropriate planning, no boundary pushing (physical touches when not appropriate), and no rush for intimacy. I’m still vetting though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:41 PM
35

Omg NEOPETS. I should see if that’s still around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:31 PM
38

I actually met a man this week who does not watch porn, has not, and was repulsed by the idea. They do exist. This is borne out by his behavior, no sex jokes, pushing boundaries, porn preferences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 05:27 PM
2

Ooooh where is this? I have been looking for one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:08 PM
2

This is such a good reminder, that I really needed. You are so correct!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:06 PM
14

Are you me? I get told “you’re so serious” a lot. Why? I want conversation about thoughts and ideas? I want to improve our planet and society? I would love to go out shopping! Let’s go! Can we talk about something other than your LV husband though?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 01:05 PM
4

I prefer brunch dates because my kiddo is a toddler and I want to do bedtime with her, that is specifically a choice I’m making. However that doesn’t mean I accept brunch at Waffle House, it means I accept brunch at DiPratos where the cost is the same as dinner, and I can be safe during the daylight. (Note: I’m afraid of the dark thanks to CSA)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 12:40 PM
24

I feel so attacked. This literally describes exactly what happened with my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:40 AM
44

Crippled personality. Excellent descriptor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 10:53 AM
55

Literally just blocked a guy last night who did this. Flipped out on me after I asked a question clarifying something he said about women not liking his “crazy shit”. I asked if that meant acting crazy, or violent. He got all offended and said I called him a violent raging monster…and told me I need to educate myself on depression. I’m completing a Masters in counseling. Like…ok scrote tell on yourself. BLOCKED.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 10:52 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 02:36 PM
1

Ok this probably sounds silly but...how does one use it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 01:48 PM
3

Ooooh what serum? My skin has been wrecked after my LV ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 12:26 PM
1

Yep
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:57 PM
2

I have one kid. She isn’t a mistake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 07:25 PM
6

Literally why I’m divorcing. I made one mistake, don’t need to keep making it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 05:12 PM
3

I feel great about it, and for once in my life didn’t even try to explain what he did wrong. He knew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 09:00 PM
6

Didn’t even feel guilty, when before I would have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 02:44 PM
11

I think I just dumped that guy 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 10:38 AM
7

I WAS! Dumped him yesterday and this is reminding me why I did. FDS has made me quick to dump, and more thorough vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 10:31 AM
2

FACTS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 01:15 PM
21

For me, someone who doesn’t learn and properly care for their pet. Mental stimulation, training, medical care, or who uses them for an obvious emotional crutch. Like the poor dogs can’t escape their toxic neediness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 04:35 PM
1

Hey sis, I’m starting out in the lifting world and want to eventually compete. Any advice? Tips? Routines you’d be willing to share? I can’t wait to feel strong and sexy again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:41 PM
1

OMG yes this!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:41 PM
4

Personally I don’t watch this show. Never will. That book is a commentary on all the horrors around sexuality and consent for women and MONETIZING IT, for public amusement, is disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:00 PM
81

My advice: - never ever use your savings to pay off a scrotes debt. Never. - do not make medical decisions based on a scrotes input, ie condoms make my dick sad so you should go on BC - always be working on something, a degree, raise, workout, whatever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 10:55 PM
6

THIS 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
/r/askFDS27/05/21 01:17 PM
9

Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 04:57 PM
17

Things I’ve realized will be automatic no for me: - moving the relationship forward fast, asking for exclusivity after a few dates - demanding your time through constant clingy, needy, texting behavior - untreated mental health issues, I’m sorry but it’s not my job to “love you through it” - inability to care for their pets, neglect isn’t sexy even when you “love them too much to let them go” - unstable family relationships, people closest to you don’t even like you....why should I? - selfish in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 12:44 PM
16

I have to answer this one: I did give that chance, to my now exhusband and while he didn’t use pornography his selfishness is bed, lack of any personal exploration of sexuality and pleasing a woman because of immediate release with porn, and disgusting views of women’s bodies as only being sexy if they look like a “teen” ruined my self esteem, sex life, and marriage. Yeah maybe he didn’t watch porn but he was sure on Instagram every day looking at fitness models, or Facebook at old female acquai…
/r/askFDS25/05/21 11:28 AM
78

I noticed the same thing, no acknowledgment of the fact this condition is self-induced because that would require...taking responsibility. This way, every disgusting wanker gets to blame his “unfortunate” curve for why he has issues with sex when really it’s death-grip and PIED. Never AGAIN. Never.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:19 AM
6

Hell yeah! I’m working on mine currently!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 06:08 PM
1

It is
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 10:03 PM
1

Very sound advice. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 09:51 PM
11

Yes...Keanu Reeves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:51 PM
10

You would love my new guy 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:45 PM
6

At least 5’10” Minimum 7 inch dick, wide and girthy Ab muscles with a little bit of meat on him so I can feel them but not wash clothes on them High and tight, firm booty Broad shoulders and strong arms, preferably muscular Little to no body hair, trimmed Dark hair Light eyes No preference on skin tone At least size 10 shoes GOOD HYGIENE IN ALL AREAS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:44 PM
1

Hey lady. First, thank you. As a girl who was abused, and went through the entire trial process, thank you. Secondly, already hold degrees in Psychology and Criminal Justice, what do you suggest for me next to go into Forensic Psych?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 08:26 PM
2

I definitely agree with letting people just sit in their nonsense, ending friendships with people who repeatedly cross my boundaries. Also, making my schedule flex to support my mental health with other people supporting me instead of always building everyone else up at my expense.
/r/askFDS17/05/21 01:57 AM
17

Dude the HEIGHT THING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:17 PM
2

I am so grateful every day for finding this place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 01:11 PM
6

Oof. I feel so personally attacked. I’ve backslid and this is my reminder to bring back that Queen energy. Thank you sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:48 PM
2

Yasssssss!
/r/askFDS05/05/21 07:04 PM
18

It is!!! She’s thriving there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:03 PM
210

My husband moved out 4 days ago. I feel AMAZING. My house is spotless, I’m exercising and eating well and sleeping and got the news today my daughter got a full time slot at preschool. So for Mother’s Day this year I’m taking PTO and spoiling the SHIT out of myself. I don’t need/want any half ass mans version of “taking care of me” for one day a year, I’ll do it myself. I suggest you do too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 05:48 PM
12

Honestly? I’m not trying to be mean, but I got a dog. Then I got another dog. Now I have a pack of dogs. No man in here though. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/askFDS05/05/21 11:05 AM
16

This is accurate. My husband moved out two days ago and while my daughter is sick I still have more time to keep my house the way I want it, watch my shows, and sleep peacefully.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 12:11 PM
10

Things changed for him when you didn’t engage in sex. That’s what he means by “spark” did you notice that happened right after the no intimacy talk?
/r/askFDS30/04/21 04:09 PM
5

First, figure out why you got fired. If it’s on you, fix that. If it’s not, start identifying companies you want to work for. Update your resume and CV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 01:01 PM
6

Hey, first some hugs to you. Second, most women DONT have rosters of HVM that’s just the goal. So don’t feel behind, cause you’re not. You’re exactly where you should be. Third, it’s ok to feel alone and it’s part of the growth required to heal wounds from your FOO. Mine is also abusive so I empathize while understanding we have very different experiences I’m sure. Some suggestions if you want them: -curating a shelf of feel good books with characters that feel like old friends, I re-read the sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:51 PM
9

Highly recommend Blink, excellent read and really brings home the fact that you KNOW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 12:21 PM
24

I was extremely lucky in that when I reported as a child, not only did I have physical evidence on my body but my Gran literally wore a wire, at age 73 to get a confession. That woman may have been a pick-me as a young lady but Gran stood up and took that man down. The state even with a confession gave him 6 years. He served 4. That’s what my childhood was worth. What a joke. As an adult, when I was raped, I already knew I had no chance in court.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:49 AM
16

Key to not thinking about them during the day for me was limiting phone time. Like literally during the day putting my phone away in my bedroom and going about my daily life. I’m WFH so it’s not like I need anything out there 😂😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 11:37 AM
7

Essentially what she just said there, the thought process of “I want to teach him to be a gentleman” stop that as soon as you think it. Don’t do that. If he is not ALREADY offering the things you want (opening doors as an example) he doesn’t fit your priorities. Don’t coach him (I like doors opened for me) or hint (it’s so romantic when a man opens doors) or remind him (remember when you opened the door on our first date, I loved that). Essentially if you have to say anything to make it happen, …
/r/askFDS29/04/21 10:06 PM
12

For me personally, I needed some time in a totally different environment. Something I do, when I can’t do a short trip to a fun place, is totally redo my bedroom/personal space so that it reflects ME and not the US that was tearing me down. It helps me start to feel some peace when I come home. Then, and this only works for me, I watch some I Love Lucy and pretend my Gran is with me and laugh with her. It reminds me that even though right now might suck, I will laugh again. Within a few weeks, I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:50 PM
19

Read the handbook please you’re not ready to be dating.
/r/askFDS26/04/21 07:56 PM
8

Holy shit you just explained my last partner. “The more gentle the guy is, the more he tends to care but will probably need to be taught”!!!! Why????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 12:30 PM
14

Holy shit. I just realized reading this you described my STBX. Man. My daughter is a ray of light, but if I could have skipped all the other stuff I would have. This opened my eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:50 PM
16

Literally describes my sex life with my STBX. I wish I found FDS years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:34 PM
5

Personally, I don’t like being called anything but my name unless you’re my partner/companion. Baby, doll, sweetheart, darling are all things you say to someone intimately. Is this person an intimate partner? No? Then no.
/r/askFDS19/04/21 12:15 PM
7

Vetting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:47 PM
7

Thank you, that’s absolutely correct my Gran parroted the “make a man happy to get a husband” nonsense my entire life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:25 PM
25

This may be just me. Since I’ve been dating, I’ve been actively stopping myself from doing this and instead allowing the man I’m seeing to do these things for me. Yet, I still feel guilt he’s doing this? Like I worry he’s not getting enough out of being with me and I have to stop that programming and remind myself being in a relationship SHOULD NOT be about getting things from someone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 01:48 PM
8

HOLY COW my eczema has been flaring up and I literally just connected it to my breakup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:59 PM
8

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:55 PM
6

I have the exact same situation going on. This state is so much better for me financially, but I feel SO alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:53 PM
33

Giiiirl are you me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 05:55 PM
160

Literally that’s my husband. Soon to be exhusband. Told me after I had the baby I “let myself go”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:13 PM
58

This stuff is why I stopped listening to Dave Ramsey
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 01:23 AM
2

Is it an App or website?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 07:46 PM
4

THANK YOU!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 05:37 PM
12

I just started working from home, can you PLEASE give me all the tips and ideas to do this? I need to get my body back to where it was before my daughter, I have a bench press and squat bar and access to the road to walk/run. Any time saving ideas? Routines?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 04:57 PM
63

Being focused on what it takes for you to enjoy something is definitely HV and you should absolutely have his personal info with a friend for safety. However, just a gentle reminder what he’s doing is basic bare minimum stuff that you would do for any friend, making sure they’re going to enjoy an activity. PLEASE don’t attach huge significance to it, as of right now you don’t have enough info to decide if he’s even remotely HV.
/r/askFDS04/04/21 10:37 PM
188

Find a female lawyer, she will enjoy shredding him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 05:44 PM
35

I have the same story. Hugs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 05:23 PM
4

HOLY COW this has happened to me so many times and I never understood it until reading this! Jeez!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:06 PM
2

Can I PM you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 08:31 PM
42

Have you read the Handbook? Just as a starting point, definitely do. Your boyfriend is doing what’s called future-baiting. In the future I’ll do X, you get really excited about X, but it never happens. The carrot can be anything from engagement, to a wedding, to a baby, and in your case, something even more basic....a date with your boyfriend. Does that seem like the way a caring partner treats you?
/r/askFDS14/03/21 07:25 PM
2

I love that. Love love love ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 07:59 PM
4

SAME! Literally just said yesterday every time I cheat and have carbs (I eat keto) I feel awful and have crazy mood swings. No more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 07:59 PM
5

Also starting life as a single mom but I’m 33, feel free to PM me and we can brainstorm together! You got this Queen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 08:26 PM
10

Agreed. Apologizing now because he realized you know what he did was unacceptable.
/r/askFDS12/03/21 07:52 PM
3

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:46 PM
7

Where are these I need to list a room in my house
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 07:38 PM
7

He showed you who he is. You vet constantly, you just did, and he failed epically. Kick him to the curb.
/r/askFDS12/03/21 07:36 PM
92

Literally part of the reason I’m getting divorced. You can learn anything correctly for work...and yet can’t figure out wet clothes need to come out of the dryer in a reasonable time frame? Pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 01:03 PM
36

Probably internalized issues with self worth and love, or an abusive home that made her deeply uncomfortable with normal relationships, or simply not understanding how to be a partner to a HVM. Those were my reasons when I ended it with my dream man in my early 20s. Still think about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 12:30 PM
19

You don’t. Period. This is not something YOU need to handle, it’s something your boyfriend does. If he does it well, great, he’s HV. If he doesn’t, strings her along, or blows off your concerns he is LV and you block and delete. This could look something like this: You: I’m uncomfortable with the level of interest Marie has shown in you, and the amount of contact she has. Silence. Him: I’m sorry it’s made you feel that way, I’ll sort it out. THEN HE DOES. Anything less and you’re dating a man wi…
/r/askFDS08/03/21 12:36 PM
56

You had me DYING 😂😂😂😂 I AINT BUYING IT!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 06:50 PM
74

I think you’re drawing some false equivalency here. Valuing a ring (symbol) and valuing a flower in a pot (symbol) are both of equal value. The handbook isn’t saying you should want these things it is saying whatever that “thing” is for you should also be valued and expressed by a HVM. I think you talking about being highly sexual and jumping into bed is some Pickmeisha tendencies you may not have fully explored or understood because frankly that is dangerous for women and if you love yourself y…
/r/askFDS04/03/21 05:34 PM
11

This is the result I’m hoping for when my divorce finally happens
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 12:14 AM
4

Yesssss 👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 01:24 PM
41

Personally, this meant very unsatisfying intimacy. Generally, the guys I met who had this issue also never bothered to learn oral, or fingering, because they came so quickly and as soon as that happened it was over. Pass for me personally.
/r/askFDS24/02/21 08:01 PM
13

Sounds like low self esteem sabotaging you. Also an avoidant attachment, as in you feel stable and happy so your brain freaks and tries to create the chaos you’re used to. Counseling, stat!
/r/askFDS23/02/21 10:55 PM
18

In South American cultures touching is more common yes, however that doesn’t include things like back rubs, that would be considered more intimate. It sounds like he is showing you what kind of man he is, and expressing subtle interest. However, if he knows you’re single and isn’t asking you out, that’s a flag. A HVM is confident and will ask you if he is interested. If you two have simply never discussed your dating status, something as simple as mentioning you plan to start dating would be all…
/r/askFDS23/02/21 10:53 PM
37

Definitely not overreacting. You were already doing some of the work of the date in going to meet him, then on top of it he expects you to brave Snowmageddon? Even worse was his reaction to you being annoyed by it, which was to minimize your feelings and shift blame. Hard pass.
/r/askFDS23/02/21 10:40 PM
162

Would have done the same, that is so incredibly rude and disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:51 PM
11

You two have communication issues. It sounds like two separate issues but it’s really just one. She is valuing the new relationship over time with you, and making you feel as though you don’t hold value as a friend when she has other options. Two, she is feeling rejected you haven’t been reaching out and therefore doesn’t want to extend support to you when she feels you have been unsupportive, probably of her new relationship. If you want to save it, be adult and honest and explain you were givi…
/r/askFDS22/02/21 03:29 PM
2

Sounds like his approach is typical for your region but not for your specific culture. Meaning YOUR culture, the family you are part of. Make it clear to him if you begin dating that you don’t align with that type of formality. If he continue to press forward in that way it’s a clear sign you’re not a good match. Good luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 02:24 PM
4

Wooooo proud of you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 02:05 PM
3

Within the context of your culture (thank you for clarifying) his behavior currently would be appropriate. Meaning, a female relative has made the overture (I’m guessing in your culture being alone with an unrelated male might be an issue) and left it to you from there. At this point if you want to explore a relationship with him I suggest talking to him and explaining you’re open to being courted. Notice I said courted and not marriage. If he behaves as a HVM during the courtship phase that is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 02:03 PM
12

Woohooo! Go you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 12:35 PM
10

They’re downvoting this whole conversation because it’s Pickmeisha. A man worthy of marriage, a HVM would not have his mother approach you to discuss this, he would be asking you out himself and pursuing you. one caveat is if this is culturally appropriate behavior, as an example in some traditional Indian families Basically the response here is “no thank you, I’m not interested in him that way”. Frankly until this conversation you weren’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 12:00 PM
2

I wish I found this group YEARS ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 01:02 PM
14

I’m keeping our beautiful house because I got a good job finally and it’s in a super low cost of living state. Won’t lie though, I might lose my truck. As long as my daughter is safe and happy though, it’ll be ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 01:16 AM
19

I will be having full custody, he is Active Duty Army so I’m very nervous to do this all on my own. Then I think, I already am.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 11:58 PM
50

I’m genuinely excited and relieved about this future. I already see the hours I spend dealing with his messes and stress just evaporating into hours spent reading with a cup of tea. I feel lighter just thinking about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:34 PM
136

Motherhood has been my wake up call about what I though was a HVM I married. My exit plan is almost complete and he will be out of our lives. I refuse to raise my daughter believing this is what her life should be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:20 PM
39

It’s because of this subreddit I’ve finally got the confidence to do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:13 PM
60

I appreciate that. I am actually waiting to hear back this week about a job that will fully support my daughter and I. Once I have it, I’ll be ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 05:00 PM
111

My state has this and it is 100% the reason I haven’t asked for divorce yet, I can survive the 1 year waiting period yet on my own. I hate the Bible Belt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:38 PM
9

This is literally my soon to be ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 12:42 AM
16

Ok girl I need your lifting routine!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 11:14 PM
17

Yeeeep. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 02:57 PM
1

I appreciate the idea I’m making some calls!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 11:04 PM
1

She’s only 2
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 03:59 AM
21

Hello, I know you don’t know me but 10 years ago I was you. Essentially, every time I disclosed I was ghosted, used for sex, or told “I can’t handle this”. Eventually I realized, if a partner doesn’t already do the things I need (cuddling, kissing often, affection outside of sex) then they are NOT a good fit for me. I need love and caring to be shown for me in ways that are not tied to sex, because my trauma around sex has taught me to value myself only for the sexual pleasure I give a man. Any …
/r/askFDS11/02/21 06:40 PM
10

This is such a great idea! Thank you! What are some things you do for yourself?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 06:12 PM
50

Could I ask a question? I’m about to become a single mom and start a full time job. How long did it take you to find a nanny you were comfortable with, and how do you balance time for yourself? I’m reallly struggling with feeling like my daughter is my “job” and any time away from her is selfish. Any thoughts would be helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 04:54 PM
25

I needed to hear this, right now, today. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 08:59 PM
1

He has now devolved to calling me a “dumb sack of potatoes”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 06:52 PM
9

Yep. I just laughed and laughed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 04:01 PM
2

In person. Make plans then. After that goes well then you can exchange info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:19 PM
12

Ugh. Matched with a guy on OLD. Trained medical professional, very attractive, purported hobbies lined up with mine. First conversation he trots out the old “my woman needs to want me for me”. Cue me asking “what does that mean to you”? Then proceeds to tell me his red flags are: women expecting to be cared for, women expecting he pay on the first date, and women expecting him to pay half the bills. Then proceeds to tell me “Id love to take you out” to which I responded with “what do you have pl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 02:11 PM
5

Completely agree. All that tells me is that when the going gets tough, this guy gets going. Not something I want in a partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 01:56 PM
28

Cheap ass 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 09:21 PM
100

I think it’s not only rude, lazy, it’s also presumptuous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 09:14 PM
12

Oddly I’ve never really been interested in muscular or fit men. I’ve never cared if a man could “protect” me because I grew up protecting myself (abusive home). This has changed recently as I’ve begun seeing a man who treats me extremely well and is a former police officer (quit when he realized it wasn’t about building a community it was about controlling people) and who is currently a security force officer in a government secured area. I know he’s trained to stop an assailant and competes act…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:57 AM
2

Well we have to remember that just because we have no problem with something, doesn’t mean everyone should feel the same. It’s certainly possible he’s stringing you along, it’s equally as possible he is new at online dating. I know the first few times I video chatted I was very uncomfortable, especially with how to position myself in the frame and feeling like I was being watched. I would say, personally, just like I hope people experience empathy for me, I should have the grace to show some to …
/r/askFDS25/01/21 11:18 AM
9

Personally I’m the same way, if by day 2, 3 at the MAX you haven’t asked for video call we probably aren’t that into each other.
/r/askFDS24/01/21 01:27 AM
51

Mention a video chat with another friend of yours, if he then says something along the lines of I’d love to video chat with you, follow that up with when it works for you. If he doesn’t, you have your answer. Move on at that point. Honestly though, some people are more comfortable hiding behind their phone and you don’t want that guy.
/r/askFDS24/01/21 12:58 AM
8

Men who treat you better because they want to have sex with you, or conversely treat you differently because they don’t want to have sex with you, are LV. A HVM treats all women with respect. That includes courtesy, emotional intelligence, all of it. A “friend” who doesn’t check in on you regularly while going through a break up, is not a friend at all. Call a spade a spade, stop entertaining this whole “maybe in the future” thing you keep saying. This man has already shown he is not high value.…
/r/askFDS23/01/21 10:08 PM
10

You’ll get to a point where this level of immaturity just makes you laugh and feel pity don’t worry
/r/askFDS23/01/21 07:20 PM
16

Expend your energy improving yourself and avoid interaction whenever possible
/r/askFDS23/01/21 07:18 PM
10

You’re still not understanding what she’s saying. The context means nothing here, this man being a “friend” or not shouldn’t change his behavior towards you going through something. It’s actually a tell that he’s LV.
/r/askFDS23/01/21 07:11 PM
43

FDS is a lot about ridding your life of men like this. So start crafting an exit strategy and then grey rock hun. Engage as little as possible and focus on yourself.
/r/askFDS23/01/21 07:07 PM
5

Awwww how do I join!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 02:03 PM
2

Is it by StarSpangledBroad
/r/askFDS17/01/21 11:48 PM
11

But MeN are the logical sex 😀😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 03:29 PM
4

I love Nikita Gill, epic and I’m framing this for my daughters room
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 01:50 PM
11

SAME. I tell every man I date this, first thing. You ever raise your voice to me we are done. No second chances. I’ve stuck to it, and never been in a verbally or physically abusive relationship. If you knew who my dad was you’d know that’s an insane accomplishment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 02:35 AM
24

Maaaan the cringe is real. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 02:07 PM
2

Most of the elite ones don’t charge women, they charge men.
/r/askFDS24/12/20 10:37 PM
2

Also as a woman YOU shouldn’t be paying for the service, the men should. You are just letting them know you’re available for a potential match!
/r/askFDS24/12/20 10:35 PM
2

Selective Search has good reviews, but it depends on your location too
/r/askFDS24/12/20 10:33 PM
39

Yes, in Africa
/r/askFDS20/12/20 09:57 PM
11

I’m so sorry. I completely empathize. I’ve started to pull away and I feel myself doing it, but honestly the mental energy is better put to use on myself and my goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:05 PM
44

I’m struggling with this as well. Best friend who got me through PPD, mastitis, and my own LVM. Been in a toxic AF marriage for 10+ years, he’s abandoned her and their kids multiple times, no access to money, socially destroyed her calls her crazy, cheated multiple times, but every time she starts bringing all this to a head he has a “breakdown” and she spends the next year “helping him heal so we can focus on my needs” and the cycle starts all over again. It’s happening right now, and after fin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 12:58 PM
11

I know you like this guy, so I’m reallllly not trying to offend you. This girl feels comfortable doing/saying those things because he’s allowing it. There’s no reason she should have his number, no reason he should be answering her calls, no reason he should be giving her information regarding anything in his life beyond “I have a girlfriend”. This man has poor boundaries or is testing the waters, or already cheating. Personally, being friends with women requires iron clad boundaries with men or…
/r/askFDS18/12/20 12:41 PM
14

That sounds perfect just make sure it isn’t brought up repeatedly. Also, I would say most men will ask on date 1 or 2 if you’ve ever been married
/r/askFDS18/12/20 11:21 AM
1

I think men are bad at innuendo and if you open that door prepare for at the very least sexting
/r/askFDS18/12/20 11:06 AM
10

Have you considered a dating service run by women? Men who have all of the traits you listed can very often be busy pursuing those goals/passions and thus use an outside perspective to help them find a partner. At the very least you would get an interesting story out of it!
/r/askFDS17/12/20 11:25 AM
10

Personally, I am drawing a line with talk that involves sex and sexual wants until after we have established compatibility. Meaning had multiple dates and I know he isn’t an absolute limpet. This is because I find once you introduce the topic, it’s become the FOCUS. I personally don’t find my sex life to be the focus of my life so that demonstrates to me an incompatibility.
/r/askFDS16/12/20 03:32 PM
8

This crazy man WANTS me to live with him, raise babies with him, I do not get it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 01:08 PM
17

Ok WHAT IS THIS FETISH, just this week I had a guy tell me he wants me to be his “breeding cuckqueen” what the heck is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 12:13 PM
74

I had to unsubscribe from that sub, the rage and sadness I feel reading those stories is toxic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:14 PM
4

YESSS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 08:34 PM
8

Hi. Girl here. Technically woman but that’s splitting hairs. Not sure if you’re aware but since I commented here all these responses keep popping up for me. To clarify, I wasn’t saying your list was negative, I was stating that the approach comes across as negative. Those expectations are fine to have, but telling someone how they should behave is what some might call prescriptive and controlling. The point of dating isn’t to enforce behavior, it’s to decide compatibility. So if they aren’t doin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:52 PM
5

Thank you. That’s exactly what I said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:49 PM
6

Hope it helps
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 03:44 PM
30

You’re being very defensive. I’m not sure why. I’m simply explaining how I would feel if I received a message with that content. Not judging you. You do you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:28 PM
61

I’m gonna be totally honest, as a woman if a potential sent me something like that it would signal to me you’re overly negative and potentially a pain in the ass. Giving a man clear direction as to your expectations doesn’t/shouldn’t look like YOU WILL TEXT ME SIR THUSLY. The reason being, if you have to do that he ain’t the one. You are not looking to teach a man how to court you, you are looking for the man who already knows how to court you. As for the date issue, being asked repeatedly, it’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 01:13 PM
55

Ok to each of your questions. To attract men, first decide you don’t need one. I’m dead serious about this. Men sense desperation and run AWAY if they are HVM. Only LVM will want that kind of energy. Signs a man likes you: using your name often, laughing and making eye contact with you, being overly solicitous, finding occasions to gently but respectfully touch you, and excuses to be around you. Asking men out isn’t a big issue for me, I’m not shy, but a big tip I have is express interest in an …
/r/askFDS09/12/20 09:38 PM
21

I don’t even have words. I’m sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:28 PM
5

Holyyyyyyy shit it’s so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:28 AM
2

What’s Netflix Party? I want to try that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 12:26 PM
2

AHHH I WOULD LOVE THAT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 12:25 PM
25

They don’t HAVE personalities. I tried out a dating app, and talking to these men is just...boring. Your interests include Netflix and...what exactly? Can’t even tell me a particular activity? Unless it’s a gym bro who literally only has pics of him in a string tank top flexing...just...what happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 12:07 PM
30

Literally just ditched a guy who kept wanting to take me on a romantic date walking in the park. It’s like 50 degrees outside, we are just getting to know each other, and that’s your best effort? HARD PASS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 12:01 PM
34

I’ll give you a real life example. Posted about a scrote here yesterday. Stupidly reached out to him today, and got told and I quote “your standards are too high”. DO NOT DO IT.
/r/askFDS06/12/20 04:42 PM
25

I read that as well 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 04:15 PM
7

That’s a really great way to put it
/r/askFDS05/12/20 06:51 PM
18

He admitted he was planning to arrive late
/r/askFDS05/12/20 06:17 PM
7

Me tooo
/r/askFDS05/12/20 05:28 PM
15

That’s EXACTLY what I thought
/r/askFDS05/12/20 05:27 PM
24

Thank you everyone! I have what I realize is a LV friend telling me I should give him another chance. Thanks for cementing my first decision, I agree.
/r/askFDS05/12/20 05:26 PM
3

Very well put
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:48 PM
3

I wish I had learned that much earlier in life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:08 PM
3

Agreed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:11 PM
22

Now that’s a mama bear
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 11:41 AM
7

This has ended a lot of relationships for me, but in a positive way. I realized waiting for people to treat me the way I deserved wasn’t honoring who they are or who I am. Sure, there is some LVM and pickmeisha who will love each other. That isn’t me. Now, I honor me. If you also honor me, my spirit, what I add to this world then yeah we might have a shot but frankly, I’m pretty fuckin awesome and people who don’t see that are not worth teaching. Yes some people genuinely are born in terrible si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:45 PM
16

Honestly with the hormones during pregnancy if I found out my husband cheated I might have gone to jail for murder. Thank goodness he is a good man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:11 AM
16

THE AUDACITY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 12:10 AM
5

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 05:16 PM
11

It’s awesome you realized immediately how misplaced his priorities were! Yay for smart women!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:33 PM
21

This is the most common argument in DeadBedrooms which I got banned from yesterday 😂. Essentially by refusing to have sex with their lazy, entitled, and disrespectful ass they are “breaking their vows” or “holding them hostage”. I always wonder if they’ve ever actually experienced anyone refusing to give them something they want before, the rage is palpable. Then when you bring up divorce they’re all “oh I love her too much to leave her”! Yet you don’t love her enough not to harass and pressure …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:15 PM
17

Also, a narcissist can absolutely portray themselves as pathetic. Never let your guard down sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:04 PM
13

Ugh this is most of the men I’ve been with. Zero interest in even learning because then it makes them look dumb. Bitch, having terrible sex makes you look dumb!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:03 PM
9

What series I have to read it?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:58 AM
5

Yep! I’m getting banned left and right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 08:29 PM
12

DeadBedrooms
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:59 PM
4

Yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:58 PM
23

Well I’m doing something right, I just banned from another sub 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 05:28 PM
1

I really like Ava Green.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:24 PM
2

YESSS Janeway is my hero.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:23 PM
5

I actually got banned from it before I joined FDS but wow good to know
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:23 PM
10

Same. After my first husband threw me out with nothing I’ll never fully trust a man again. I love my husband, trust him fully, but I have a daughter and I can’t afford to be stupid so I have an account he doesn’t know about to even access. If I ever have to leave, I can. Frankly I think it promotes a healthier balance in the relationship because no way a man is going to tell me he isn’t allowing me to leave! I recommend it to every woman I meet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:20 PM
10

Yes FI is the way to go!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:37 PM
3

It’s legit because I couldn’t figure out how to stop 😂 all joking aside I love the bond I have with my daughter
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:56 PM
3

Sure was and I breastfed through it! During surgery I was sedated but after that lol. It sucks. I got a scar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:42 PM
5

Yeah I got mastitis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 09:08 PM
18

I have actually never tried OLD and don’t think I will. Strikes me as a good way to get murdered. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 01:21 PM
12

I have to say I stay home and do basically everything in our home and care for our daughter. Post photos constantly because family is far away. EVERY SINGLE TIME MY HUSBAND IS IN A PHOTO EVEN TANGENTIALLY I get to hear “oh what a good daddy” or “oh I bet she adores him”. WTAF? I am the one up at 2am with her, I’m the one that nursed for 15 months and lost part of my right boob, I’m the one who takes her to the doctor and wipes the skinned knees...but fuck me right? Right? All that to say, why is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 01:10 PM
36

Funny thing about these types of psychological models often they describe “logical” behavior, and it’s basically just selfishness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 01:36 AM
38

I watched it as well....terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 01:30 AM
5

May I ask, how did you begin this? I’m struggling after having my daughter to find ways to care for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 10:30 PM
35

And myths about black people experiencing pain differently persist as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 10:14 PM
2

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 09:31 PM
44

I am Caucasian, and definitely agree with this. It goes waaay back I think to the same beliefs that allowed white slave holders to give themselves permission to treat enslaved girls like chattel for various purposes, often including sexual activity. At the other end of the spectrum those same people were protecting “white virginity” at all costs. Sad to see.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 09:30 PM
14

I’m gonna regret this but what is queening?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 09:17 PM
17

That one had me dying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 05:35 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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