| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | Proving Alcohol Abuse in Custody Case | Lonely-Ad6373 | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/23 06:39 AM | |
| 4 | Tips for Dealing with Second Thoughts | Lonely-Ad6373 | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/23 04:32 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | I'm confused on how marital earnings get divided in a divorce (after a long term marriage)Correct, retirement pay is divisible asset. The “rules” on years of service and percentage do not technically matter. The USFSPA largely does two things on the topic: codifies that military retirement IS a divisible asset in divorce, and gives DFAS the ability to facilitate a division order with certain limitations (such as the 10 year rule and 50% rule). It does not instruct nor limit the states on how they are allowed to divide the pension, however DFAS will not participate in the division (ak… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/09/23 10:07 PM |
| 2 | Divorce questions.A reason to be ordered to sell is to liquidate and divide the equity in the case that one of you can’t buy the other out, and/or you can’t afford the mortgage/refi on your own. It sounds like neither of those apply to you. Moreover, you’d be looking at ~ 8% of sale price in closing costs. If you have little to no equity in the house today, it’s going to cost a nice chunk of money just to sell, and with nothing to show for it at the end. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 02:22 AM |
| 4 | Divorce questions.Since it’s a VA loan, I’m assuming you put low to 0% down? Assuming 0% down, and that you rolled the VA funding fee into the loan, and with only six months ownership and the housing market the way it is… I’d fathom a guess that you have negative equity in the home. If that’s the case, I can’t imagine any scenario where you’d be ordered to sell the home. It would be in both of your best interest to NOT sell. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 12:55 AM |
| 0 | Wife cheated on me with coworker, I have proof of her sexual misconduct in the workplace, at her desk…OP has a kid… jeopardizing the ex’s source of income, when minor children are involved, is never going to be the optimal move. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/23 11:42 PM |
| 2 | US States where it's hard for a woman to get alimony?How much did her withholding her income play a factor in court? I’m in a similar boat… in TX, my income only about 15% more than her, but the second I pushed the divorce forward by responding (she filed, but then changed her mind and never had me served), she immediately stopped contributing to all bills… mortgage, utilities, kids daycare, etc. So I cover all of it, while she continues to live here and refuses to move out. My attorneys have already raised the issue as a violation of our counties… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/23 03:42 AM |
| 1 | Texas questionsRight, and I generally agree, but I’d say it totally depends on the strength of your position in your case. If you are in the position where you are very likely to be named the primary custodial parent and receive guideline child support in court, there is no incentive to concede a downgrade to 50-50 and even budge an inch on CS, much less flip It in the opposite direction or do an offset. IMO, given the described circumstances, him agreeing to 50-50 alone is generous. 50-50 while forgoing the r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/23 07:53 AM |
| 1 | Texas questionsGood deal. Then I’d make 50-50, 0 spousal support, 0 child support be the absolute best deal she’s going to get in mediation. Absent other relevant factors, she stands to get a decidedly worse deal at trial. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/23 03:37 PM |
| 2 | Texas questionsThere is no official formula in TX law to deviate from guideline child support based on the percentage split of parenting time. Are you expecting her to agree to 50-50 in mediation? At the surface from what you described, it seems you would have the stronger case to be named the primary custodial parent with a larger share of parenting time, and where she’d be paying YOU child support. If that’s the case, she has zero leverage for requesting child support if you are conceding down to a 50-50 spl… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/23 03:03 PM |
| -1 | Anyone else’s wife lose her mind after kids?Yes 100%…. If I could give my younger self advice: if you insist on marrying and having kids, do it with a single mother, who has already transitioned their true self… less surprises in theory. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/23 06:45 AM |
| 3 | [TX] Looking for 50/50 custody or 100I’m in a similar situation also in TX, but the big difference being children’s age. In TX, the primary custodial parent will essentially get 100% possession for children under three. It’s my understanding that these cases are especially lopsided in favor of the mother, unless you can prove abuse or neglect in parenting. Unless you guys can agree to something different, one person will end up with 100% for a couple more years. Retain an attorney ASAP. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/23 04:37 AM |
| 3 | Loan Assumption instead of a RefinanceDepends on the loan. You’d have to check the mortgage origination docs. But unless it’s a federally insured mortgage (FHA, VA, UDSA), it’s unlikely to be assumable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/23 01:14 AM |
| 3 | Loan Assumption instead of a RefinanceGotcha. I’m in TX as well… I know quit claim deeds are frowned upon here, in favor of special warranty deeds for these cases. There is also a “Deed of Trust to Secure Assumption” that can be used as a “promise” to continue to pay the loan, otherwise the other spouse can place a lien on and foreclose on the property. It’s my understanding that judges may require one in a divorce to cover the time period until refinancing, but unsure if they would issue a ruling with a perpetual one and no require… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/23 01:04 AM |
| 2 | Loan Assumption instead of a RefinanceWhat does the state have to do with mortgage assumption? It was my understanding that pretty much only FHA, VA, and USDA backed loans may be assumable… and practically all other conventional loans non-assumable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/23 12:36 AM |
| 2 | Pension: how to figure a lump sumThere is a free estimator here (accurate within ~10% if I recall) https://valueyourpension.com. You can also pay them $50 for a more accurate value. But only a valuation by a CPA or actuary would hold up in court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/23 02:02 AM |
| 2 | Divorce Advice (Military/GA)Yeah you still don't get it dude. The 10-year rule means absolutely nothing other than whether DFAS will play a role in distributing a portion to the former spouse in accordance with a court order. It doesn't guarantee or prevent a division one way or another. Don't meet the 10 year rule and the court still wants to divide a portion of your pension? Great. DFAS will pay you directly, and you'll be required to turn around and write a check to your former spouse every month instead. You seem to th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 08:56 PM |
| 1 | Divorce Advice (Military/GA)I recommend having a better understanding of the USFSPA before spreading this type of misinformation. The law really isn't biased (nor is the military male-only last I checked), but amongst other things, the USFSPA permits state courts to treat a military pension as a marital asset in a divorce, just like any other pension, retirement plan, 401k, etc already is, and provides a division enforcement mechanism via direct payments to a former spouse. However, the law does NOT require a court to divi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 08:03 PM |
| 1 | Proving Alcohol Abuse in Custody CaseOh no, she does not. Just once a few years ago. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 08:06 AM |
| 1 | Proving Alcohol Abuse in Custody CaseThanks! I'll do that! Doubt much use in asking her take one, she doesn't partake at all. Which is part of that reason why she perceives even 1-2 beers per night as alcohol abuse. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 07:49 AM |
| 1 | Proving Alcohol Abuse in Custody CaseThank you. I didn't know that a liver function test was a thing. I will definitely keep that in my back pocket. Happy to hear that strategy worked well for you! | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 07:45 AM |
| 1 | Proving Alcohol Abuse in Custody CaseWhat part of my post suggested that alcohol is more important than my kids? I stated that while I don't believe alcohol was a "problem", I have removed it from my life completely to ensure that it could not be used to jeopardize my relationship with my kids. Kinda the opposite. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 07:43 AM |
| 1 | Proving Alcohol Abuse in Custody CaseAgree. While I don't think I have a huge "problem" and am highly functioning, I think this new abstinence will demonstrate that it's overall better for my health. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 07:38 AM |
| 2 | Proving Alcohol Abuse in Custody CaseThank you. The best evidence I believe she has is that on the night she finally confessed to her affair (at about 3am), I was depressed, drinking, and I passed out on a chair on our back patio. She took pictures of me there. During my consultation with an attorney, they were not at all concerned and suggested it would take a lot more than that. But I'm definitely abstaining 100% just in case. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 07:36 AM |
| 6 | Proving Alcohol Abuse in Custody CaseThank you, agreed. Is there a reasonable way I can prove 100% sobriety in a way that is admissible in court? | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/23 09:04 AM |
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