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LongjumpingAd6169 Archive

View 1 post and 61 comments by LongjumpingAd6169 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

LongjumpingAd6169/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 08:48 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Could you accept if he wanted his kids to be raised in his beliefs and actively support that and teach your kids? Could you submit to your husband’s decision on this once he heard your input and decides otherwise? Because that is what male-led comes down to. If not, you’re probably not compatible. It’s understandable that he is putting on breaks if you had a lot of fights. It’s not a good sign if you lash out under stress. It’s human, but needs work from your side to solve that long term.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/25 11:07 PM
3

What often becomes more important with money is not necessarily a degree but a wife that is of similar background and who can represent with her husband and knows how to dress and behave in a classy manner. Think of Melania Trump as a good example for that. This can be learned to some extent but it’s often already given when they pick wives from an educated and cultured background. That is just as important as submissive character traits like kindness, never criticizing your husband in public et…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/25 07:55 PM
9

Just to give you a perspective from an older women, I was married twice to men who were very handsome in their late 20‘s and now are actually below average as they both aged very badly. We are all mid 50‘s. Looking back, financial stability and a life without worries is worth a lot. And every men gets boring after a few years. The exciting men are overrated. I would give it a go and see if the attraction can grow. I personally, need a guy with some disagreeableness to respect him, but maybe he h…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/25 10:31 PM
1

I love the old posts with the „theory“ tag. I agree with you, it’s changed a lot as some very knowledgeable women don’t seem to be active here anymore.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/25 12:18 PM
3

You know, that losing weight doesn’t change your genes?
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/25 01:16 PM
5

This is a joke, right?
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/25 07:15 PM
2

It might also be that he feels under appreciated for the things he does and brings it up because of that.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/25 07:17 PM
2

Exactly. Once women understand that, they’ll start to date with more realistic expectations and get married again. Nature will correct itself, because those who don’t realize this will not reproduce and those who do will not have the resources to financially survive as single mothers.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 07:55 PM
0

The league for women is not who they can fuck but who they can get married to. Getting sex from any man is easy. Commitment is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 07:41 PM
9

Please also consider that he is only 25 now. It’s very likely, that his opinions and views will keep changing a lot in the next 10 years. Meaning, his views later might not hold up the lifetime commitment he promises now. You are the one taking all the risks here, while he is taking none. Also, in case you’re more religious than him, his religious marriage vows might be not as binding to him as yours. Another scenario, what if something happens to him and you’re not married? The asset share that…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/25 05:14 PM
2

Nature is transactional, not men or women. Man hunts deer and brings it back to the cave, women wants to keep hunting provider and does it through regular availability for sex. That’s how we survived as a species. That’s why women still look for providers and men do all this to get laid. It’s not good or bad, it just is. And no amount of feminism can make it go away.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 04:13 AM
2

I never said that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 05:15 AM
0

It said “never approached a woman”, they could have still been approached BY women if they were good looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 04:39 AM
6

I know quite a few people like your boyfriend and what they all have in common is ADHD. ADHD can create a lot of procrastination issues and problems with following through. It’s more about getting the dopamine from new ideas than doing the work. Maybe that might be something to look into.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 01:45 AM
1

This is so accurate. Actually a great checklist.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 04:17 AM
5

I think you need to maybe just slow things down for now and observe. This might go in two directions and it’s hard to tell yet. As you both seem to openly communicate and process why you both might behave the way you do, it might actually work out because both of you actively try to heal and improve your relationship skills. Or, you lose interest as you might realize that you‘ve projected a prince onto a frog. But whatever the best outcome will be, it can only happen if your BPD is well managed …
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 05:33 AM
21

After reading your post, I am wondering why you want to marry him? Are there any positive things? It sounds like it’s mainly been difficult, he is much older, crossed some boundaries, and it sounds like he’s never been in a functioning relationship or marriage. Huge red flag at his age imo. You also felt neglected and wanting reassurance, which could be exasperated by your BPD or not. Oftentimes, we have low self-esteem and think we can’t do better. I have too little insight in your relationship…
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/24 04:23 AM
3

Of course. One example would be how I react to him driving. In the past I would totally emasculate my partners if I felt their driving was unsafe. With my ex-husband, I basically told him that I am going to drive because he was a bad driver. My partner now has a great reaction time and is very perceptive but the distance he keeps to other cars make me feel uneasy and I can't relax in the car. So I tell him something like "You're a great driver and I admire how perceptive you are when you're driv…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 06:03 PM
5

I have been in relationships all my life were I was basically in control as my partners didn't have frame and I learned to take control as a survival mechanism. I ended every single relationship because the dynamic didn't make me happy. When I stumbled upon RP and RPW content it all made sense to me and I am now in a happy relationship for almost 2 years in which I am very submissive for the first time in my life. My partner is also on the very dominant side and I really like it. I had to learn …
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/24 09:48 PM
2

Thanks for the reminder, done!
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 07:00 PM
5

I just want to chime in with a few tips of how to handle your MIL if you move to Italy. My family is from a northern European country with a more reserved mentality compared to Italy. But my mom is very narcissistic and behaves like the worst kind of Italian mom, lol. She needs to be the center of attention at all times, gossips like the village gossip and my brother worships La Mama. Maybe that's why he got married to a girl from Italy. I have always rebelled against my mom and always got the s…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 06:15 PM
–

Yes, absolutely! And I think in most social circles, it actually doesn’t look good for the guy if the women is super young. My partner recently took me on a business trip with high-level executives of his field and was so proud to have me by his side. I also fit right in with the wives of his friends. Social acceptance is underrated in redpill circles. My brother who is extremely rich and now 50, got remarried to a girl in her early 20s and tbh a lot of people look at this and are bewildered, ev…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 09:32 PM
5

As a women in my early 50’s I want contribute some personal experiences and thoughts from an “older”women’s perspective. I think on a societal level, of course, women look best and have the maximum fertility in their early 20’s. And if you want to have kids, fertility is important. But we shouldn’t forget that most men can’t pull women that are a lot younger. That’s reserved to the top 10-20%. If you’re a great guy above a certain age but are just below the top guys you have a hard time getting …
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/24 08:52 PM
1

Yes, please update us!
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/24 03:54 PM
4

I think trust is earned not just extended to someone after 3 months of dating. You are his girlfriend and you are planning to move in together, which means you both consider this a serious relationship. If this is the case, and he still prioritizes having fun with another female over the valid concerns of his girlfriend, its a huge red flag imo. Especially if they’ve only been friends for a year. It could be that he wanted to date her and got friend-zoned for now, and that’s why he prioritizes h…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/24 09:57 PM
4

I had 3 true loves in my life. There are many people out there that would be a great fit on all levels, you just gotta get out there and search and vet.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/24 03:31 AM
1

I think his personality isn’t very masculine if he allowed his ex to walk all over him and he is so conflict avoidant. That dynamic might work for some more masculine women but most of us deliberately vet men for their leader qualities. And a man with no backbone doesn’t give off protector vibes…and his behavior is obviously giving you the ick already. This dynamic is the fastest way to kill sexual desire, at least in my experience.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/24 05:40 AM
–

Scarcity creates desire, fomo.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 05:43 AM
0

Men would cave because they need sex more than women do. And with no commitment given, women have no incentive to participate.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 05:08 AM
1

I have one friend locally where I live who is currently entering the dating market. I believe women who are looking for a husband are more open to this as they are trying to understand men better and improve their chances on the market. Women in relationships are difficult to talk to as they often don't want to face what they could be improving.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/24 12:02 AM
1

My boyfriend has ADHD and OCD according to himself, and to be honest, I also suspect a bit of Aspergers. I love him more than any NT man before in my life. It makes him the perfect man for me. His house is so clean and I don’t even have to do any kitchen cleanup when he or I cook something because he has is own little OCD ways and it relaxes him. I need a pretty dominant man as I would walk all over him otherwise and due to his ADHD impulsiveness, always being very direct and wanting things in h…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 02:49 AM
14

If you move in and pay rent he has absolutely no incentive to ever marry you. He would lose rent income if he did and he already gets all the wifey benefits for free. Actually, you even pay him for giving him wifey benefits. If I was in that situation, I would just continue to visit on the weekends as his girlfriend, and break up if there’s no ring after 1.5-2 years.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/24 02:22 AM
3

I had the same issue with my first husband in my 20’s. The funny thing is, my boyfriend doesn’t dress how I would want him too (too conservative for my taste), and he set a boundary of me commenting on it very early in our relationship by countering “how would you like it if I try to control how you dress or criticize your body”. And honestly, I don’t care anymore how he dresses, he’s the hottest guy to me. I told this little story, because I think it might be a sign of him having a very weak fr…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/24 07:17 PM
3

Have you thought about dating someone who has autism? A guy who understands your situation would he so much easier. If you find someone who’s autism is less severe and pretty high functioning (like Aspergers), he might be a high earner and might be happy to find a relationship himself. Autistic guys have a hard time dating as well. A relationship like that might provide you safest space for the future and seems a more realistic goal than finding someone non autistic who ticks all the necessary b…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 05:22 AM
4

I myself haven´t been the best wife to my exhusband in the past, so I totally get it. I have been in very similar situations and put my partners down a lot. I feel so bad about it looking back. In my current relationship I apply all the redpill women/surrendered wife skills and its been a game changer.
/r/RedPillWives26/01/24 07:53 PM
5

You might be able to salvage the relationship by apologizing to him for having been disrespectful and that you want to make it work. Get marriage counceling prior to getting married and talk about both of your needs and expectations in all areas of life. There are good books out there about premarital conversations. Read Laura Doyles books and learn how to restore his confidence as a man. If it doesn’t work out within a year or so and you decide to go separate ways, you will have at least learne…
/r/RedPillWives26/01/24 07:14 PM
2

I don’t think its being nice that turns women off, its the lack of frame. If the women owns his balls its going downhill from there. You can have a backbone and be nice most of the time. justtimetimetimefmomenwhen
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 03:55 AM
30

yeah, wtf!
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 06:55 AM
2

I agree to that! Oftentimes it’s their insecurities speaking. If they can make you feel less worthy they don’t have to be so afraid that your hypergamy takes over and you leave them. “Redpill” men are more often than not men who were very blue pill and had bad experiences.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 06:19 AM
3

Had sex with my boyfriend on the first date. Didn’t plan that but we vibed so well that we didn’t want the evening to end. We stayed together the whole weekend and had deep conversations and shared a lot of very intimate things with each other. After about a week I mentioned I am going to delete my dating apps and that this whole parallel dating is not my thing. Didn’t put any demands on him but he followed suit maybe a day or so later. Maybe a month after we first met and after spending every w…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/24 05:50 AM
1

I feel you. I am struggling with the same thing. I grew up always having to fend for myself and have over time moved into a more feminine way of being and am naturally more of a giver. Receiving gracefully is something I have to learn. My boyfriend is a very generous and masculine guy and I am working on showing him how much I love his gifts instead of saying “thank you, that’s sweet but you don’t have to buy me anything. I think he plans to propose soon as he has been sizing my ring finger a fe…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 09:54 PM
1

It’s not about him not wanting to marry right now, he isn’t even offering the basic commitment of „relationship“. Would it be wise for her to invest her loyalty here?
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/23 05:00 AM
8

Is the woman you love somewhat cute or pretty? Would you have fallen in love with her if she was very ugly, had a bad personality or was severely disabled? What do you love about her? If you can name something, doesn’t that immediately make that love conditional? Unconditional love is a pseudo spiritual concept that I yet have to see in real life. And I have seen a lot of Gurus, spiritual groups and grifters in my life. No unconditional love far and wide but a lot of people who sell that concept…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 04:22 AM
1

I am a women in my early 50s. My kids are grown and after a divorce a while back, I did a few months of online dating. It was actually fairly easy to get dates with great guys around my age. And after about 4 months I found my guy. Of course, there is a fertility wall but if you’re not dating to have kids, its not an issue fir women. The dating market is so much easier for women! If you’re above average in your age group and you have a pleasant personality and make the live of your man better, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:51 AM
10

I am in my early 50s and am peri-menopause, still get my period but very irregular cycle at this point. I am going on hrt as of this week as I noticed I don’t orgasm as easily anymore. I was on hrt for 6 months about 2 years ago but the program I was on was very expensive and I stopped. I am going to go on a different one this time. But it showed me how much hrt can improve my sex drive. My man has a very high sex drive and we have sex 1-3 times a day. I am doing everything I can to keep it fun …
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 03:34 AM
8

As you have clarified your situation, and as user @youllknowwhenitstime brought up a possible connection to an aversion to intimacy you might have programmed yourself with, I would suggest an experiment. It has helped me to overcome an aversion to sex I had developed for a while simply because my sex drive was lower than my partner’s. What helped me was to first understand the importance of sex to men. They feel unloved and rejected if we’re giving them hints that we’re not in the mood. With tha…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 03:15 AM
3

For some romantic tension to exist, you both need time away from each other and/or doing things on your own. Him talking on the phone without getting limited might be something he enjoys and needs sometimes. Men need to have time to themselves (outside of work) to regenerate. You have to give him a chance to breath and to miss you. Men can’t live in the frame of expectations their wife or girlfriend dictates. If they do, it kills the attraction between you. So it looks like your anxious attachme…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 02:49 AM
1

I think it’s not necessarily the act of marriage itself. I would s*** test him to find out wether he acquiesced to my wish out of weakness or conflict avoidance or because he realized that marrying me would be in his best interest, as I make his life a lot better and he sees it as an investment in his own best future scenario. If he can hold his frame through this (mainly semi-unconscious) test period after marriage and through some occasional “maintenance”tests in a reasonable way, I won’t lose…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 04:58 AM
0

I have been thinking about this topic just this weekend. I am dating a man for one year who has great frame and who I naturally submit too even though I have been quite disagreeable in my past relationships and have left these relationships at some point. The question I was pondering this weekend was if our wonderful dynamic will remain like this if he pops the question and we get married. He does not necessarily want to get married again, but he knows that I hope for it. And he probably feels t…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 02:50 AM
1

Thank you! I definitely know the freeze mode. I have to learn to remember the “ouch”. That’s so good and is such a non blaming response.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/23 12:15 AM
1

Thank you for sharing your experience. I can see a lot of parallels to my relationship in what you describe. And it gives me hope and strengthens the conclusion I have reached that I can deal with our situation and turn this into growth and support for him and myself.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/23 12:12 AM
1

Wow! How could I forget to mention that. You are so on to something important here. He actually mentioned that he has ADD. He is also very similar in that regard to my oldest son who is borderline Asperger’s, is highly intelligent and also has a short temper. I thought he might be that but ADD might be it.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 06:05 PM
1

I don’t agree that he sucks. He might just have some personality flaws he can overcome. But I definitely need some time to vet him longer.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 04:06 AM
4

He is not trying to make it my fault. He tries to find out what’s going on and is rather blaming himself than me. I also don’t make it his fault verbally and just try to explain what’s going on for me. I agree, this actually might help to not try to hide my tears.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 03:46 AM
6

He is definitely not cruel or belittling me. He just overreacts to certain triggers. And while we were fixing some things at his cabin today I noticed he made an effort today (after me explaining my hurt over the language thing yesterday) to explain more detailed how I can help him before getting started with something. I voiced my appreciation for this and he said he is working on it. I really like that development.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 02:08 AM
0

In that 90% of time he is wonderful. He is fun, caring, affectionate and reasonable. I don’t exactly know what „caught in the undertones“‘means, so I can’t answer that unfortunately. Tried to google it but there are too many options. I think I doubt my decisions due to my childhood experience that could taint my sense of judgement paired with feminist imprints growing up.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 01:10 AM
1

I suspect its a mixture from f childhood experiences and hormones. Possibly also food related imbalances. But I believe we’re all different and while I am a more stoic personality, he is more hot tempered. We might just be on the opposite end of normal personality ranges.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 12:59 AM
5

Hi, yes, you totally nailed it! I thought about it and realized I have to accept some trait offs that usually come with this kind of men I desire. I think I prefer that over the beta predictability and control I had in the past. He does have a lot of the good beta traits while maintaining a strong frame. When I think about it more realistically, that’s already hard to find. So what I got has a lot of potential and I can see he is really willing to reflect on his behavior when we run into issues …
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 12:28 AM
1

Thank you so much. You have hit so many points that are important for me to take a look at! I will respond longer in a few days when I thought about it longer. And I am currently on vacation with my boyfriend so I don’t have enough space but will in a few days.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 10:39 PM
3

Hi, thank you for your reply and your thoughts. I feel they are valid when there is name calling and insults. But he didn’t do that. He just voiced his dissatisfaction with impatience and in a harsh tone. I hope that makes it clearer.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 10:33 PM
0

Thank you! That gave me a lot of food for thought. I think there is more for me to explore there. I feel save and secure for 90% of the time. And not only that, I feel very happy with him. In the remaining 10% of time I don’t feel unsafe, I feel that I am mainly doubting myself to make good decision in this regard. This is why I need an external view on this to get some perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 10:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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