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Lonlinessandtitties Archive

View 8 posts and 115 comments by Lonlinessandtitties on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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39

People think I'm joking when i say my ideal marriage would be one where we have separate homes. My parents have been married 30+ years, and when asked the key to their success, my mom will sometimes say nice sentiments people want to hear, but when talking to my friends she's more real. She tells them that my dad's schedule between being a fire chief and running a business meant that they missed each other a lot. And that when he was home he did his level best to give her time off from being a m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 06:23 AM
28

I've heard this about myself and started asking "Have you ever said/thought that about a man?", but only in an academic setting, in front of everyone. The answer is, of course, no. And i hope my pointing it out in a classroom setting sparks something in everyone else who hears it. I know the man who said it won't change his opinion. In a dating setting, I'm instantly out. If you think I'm too opinionated when I'm slowly revealing bits of myself to you, there's no point in our continued communica…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 05:26 AM
44

WE SAT IN THE PARKING LOT FOR 20 MINUTES because he kept asking me "So where do you want to go?" Until I got fucking mad and said "Home." Ma'am. I love you. When i was 21 i would have swooned over a dude who was crushing over me since high school and viewed this mess as him just not wanting to mess things up with me. Now i have made that type of mistake enough to know that a man like this will NEVER make a decision or do anything without you telling him or asking him to, all while complaining th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 05:15 AM
66

There are even cleaning and organization specialist that help people with ADHD! So it's less embarrassing because they work exclusively with neurologically atypical people. He just didn't NEED to hire a maid because everything was fine. His wife was doing it. Why should he care? Reminds me of my ex who wouldn't go out to eat ever because "You cook better than restaurants", and then would get hurt when I'd leave him at home to go out to restaurants i wanted to try by myself or with girlfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 05:08 AM
72

I'm on the ADHD women's sub and this is often said. They struggle with these things (yet still manage to accomplish them, though maybe not as well as they'd like to), and they're shamed by their partners, family, and friends. He's been getting along just fine until the moment he's losing his household manager, maid, cook, nanny, and sex object.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 05:05 AM
45

I also have SEVERE ADHD and struggle with the things this man struggles with. But i am the woman, so expectations are different. He could've easily paid for a cleaning service to help her. He could've realized that home matters more than work. He could've done anything at all to address her concerns before it became an emergency. What was he talking about in therapy? Likely his childhood and his job performance, because everything at home seemed all sewed up, til it didn't. I bet she said a mill…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 04:55 AM
167

Guys who give their number always tip poorly. I have had many coworkers send them cash app request afterward (i don't. I don't want then having any more info on me.) TONIGHT one of the servers was left 10 on 200 and the woman of the couple also wrote a number and a note saying "text us and we can have some fun together"🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 05:29 AM
9

It really honestly makes me sad. My close relationship with BOTH of my parents was instrumental in building me into the woman I've become. These less than halfway in fathers are robbing themselves and their children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 12:34 AM
31

Facts ma'am. I'm definitely glad OP posted this. And I appreciate what you said here. It is so insane that we are often called every version of "man hater" for telling each other truths in order to protect each other. Loving and protecting other women is not misandry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 07:55 AM
275

Ugh I'm with you. It's like men know how to look out for their best interests and we really just... don't. We are willing to sacrifice it all, even a young ages, thinking "love conquers all", and they do so rarely we can call it never. Men invest in themselves and build careers while having casual sex knowing they ultimately want a traditional lifestyle. Women aren't as calculated, but thankfully fds is here to teach us pragmatism in a way that works in the modern world. So much modern dating ad…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 07:23 AM
88

I worry that sometimes the attacks against this sub come from posts like this. The title comes off somewhat callous. While it's the goal here to teach each other why it's important to be careful and vet ruthlessly, we also need to acknowledge that what we're learning from one another here isn't exactly how we were socialized. We were taught to give men a million chances. We were taught that if we are good enough women he will become a good man. And let's not forget all the women who were raised …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 07:04 AM
13

Women of color have always worked in this country, whether Black, Asian, or Latin. This is why so many women of color have not identified as feminists; they feel like the movement isn't about them, considering so much was about white women getting what white men have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 04:16 AM
46

You say "divested" and i just KNOW a black man asked you this. Why are they all asking this lately? Who are they all watching on YouTube? And also wtf. These men who have asked me this (because of my age group and mass incarceration) were often raised exclusively by women. So they know that a woman is not just the table, but the entire house! What are THEY bringing? They complain that black women are "masculine" because we've been historically oftentimes forced into the role of both parents and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 04:00 AM
115

This question was new to me when i was back on the dating scene two years ago. I didn't know how to answer it, and was put off by it, though i couldn't put into words why. She sums it up well. For the particular gentleman who asked me this, i just stopped talking to him because while thinking of my answer i realized "If i provide all my needs, and enjoy my own company, why would i entertain this dude that asks me questions like this that seem to invalidate all i do?". I found fds soon after. Plu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 09:06 PM
37

I actually have a collection of barbies with natural hair. Short and large afros. I even have one with vitiligo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 06:10 PM
26

Honestly, the place i worked at used to only show the news, and then Trump started running for president and it was causing arguments amongst patrons so we switched to all sports networks. I suggested food network, but they often played long informercials. If it were up to me, there'd be no tvs or just scenes of nature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 08:36 PM
256

He wouldn't. And he'd be angry and confused that anyone would expect that of him. And if his tiktok is popular, he'll likely find a sad abused girl who is so happy to be with a Z list celebrity. And he'll shit on her on his channel. And she'll laugh about it because that's just his sense of humor.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 07:38 PM
89

You should've seen the crestfallen face on a 6'6" man I went on a date with who said "I know you've never been out with a man as tall as me." after I answered, honestly, that I'd been out with a few guys who were 6'7" and one who was 6'10". (Idk what it is, but giants ask me me out a lot🤷🏾‍♀️)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:38 PM
100

I have noticed that my friends who have been in abusive relationships are overwhelmingly with short and unattractive men. I have my bias because my father is 6'5", but I notice taller men learn to tread carefully through this world because they are perceived as a threat. They become the teddy bear type because they want to dispell the notion that they are scary or dangerous. Short men? Idk. They will physically ab*se you to "put you in your place" because they feel emasculated because of some sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 06:35 PM
93

They are. Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will k*ll them. Margaret Atwood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 05:36 PM
1151

Another man asks her out in the middle of this interview because he can see that the man she's being interviewed by is not anything to her but a laugh. Why would a smart, successful, tall, fit, beautiful woman ever have low standards?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 02:01 PM
17

You can even get a king bed frame next day shipped from Amazon for $100. How hard is it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 09:22 PM
24

I have ADHD and eye contact can be very hard for people with it. It can also be difficult for people on the autism spectrum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 06:58 PM
61

Big facts. Or Prince. What's worse is half of them aren't even named that, their mom/family just calls them that while they coddle this entitled man baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 05:41 PM
15

Far right, alt-right, libertarian type bros. Who will kick a homeless person. Very little to no empathy at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 01:26 PM
28

It was spring semester 2020. Obviously a traumatic semester. I will look for the syllabus, but I have tried to block that shit out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 03:48 PM
22

I don’t think I would skip a wedding for the woman’s long program though. 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 03:18 PM
59

Literally their entire personality is a sport they were crap at playing even when they were in decent physical shape as a kid. How fucking weird. Imagine if there were just tons of ballet obsessed women who always talked about ballet and ballerinas and performances obsessively. Knowing things like every ballerina's measurements and skill set. Arguing with other women about ballet well into their 40s and 50s. Even though they only took some ballet from like 5-15. Because that's what it's like. Be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 01:45 PM
79

Girl yes. The physical type I'm attracted to means that I've accidentally dated several current and former nfl players (as in, they were handsome and polite, asked me out in public, they didn't tell me what they did for a living initially). I was always disappointed to find out. I don't want a man who has been taught his whole life that violence can solve his problems. Couple that with the likelihood of a TBI that reduces their impulse control? That's so dangerous! I can't have that in my house.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 12:45 PM
107

It was! Naturally taught by a woman who is the best prof in the philosophy department at my school, by far. I've had like five classes with her and she is TOUGH. Gives you tons to read, respects you to write tons, takes no excuses, and yet is always warm, kind, friendly, supportive, etc. This woman has taught me so much and grown me so much I'm almost sorry to graduate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 12:23 PM
268

It was an entire unit in my philosophy of science class. Honestly they only wanted to award the Nobel to Pierre Curie (HVM) but he wouldn't accept the prize without his wife Marie (extremely HVW), who as we know was the true genius of the couple. Rosalind Franklin is responsible for much of what we know now about RNA and DNA, including the structure, but you'll only read about Watson and Crick for the most part. So many "great men" only did one thing great, and that's marry well. Women's contrib…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 12:12 PM
56

Preach girl. I don't even reach, like so much dating advice says. If he's happy I'm there, he's happy he's been given a small chance to show he wants to take care of me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:03 AM
54

Even women in the mid century when men ALWAYS paid knew to bring "mad money". Make sure you have money to escape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:02 AM
16

My heart breaks for her, based on her post history. She is very young, with a series of abusive/porn addicted boyfriends in her past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 06:42 AM
207

This exact thing happened to a girl a grew up with. She stayed with her boyfriend from the time she was 15 until she was 28. He told her he never wanted to get married or have kids over and over. She moved in with him rather than finish high school. She didn't go to college, she didn't work. She just played wifey and cooked and cleaned while he went to school and started a career. He broke up with her at 28, and within two years was married with a child. She ended up moving back into her mother'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 12:42 PM
49

Schrodinger's douchebag...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 05:23 AM
252

But people just don't understand him. He's just brutally honest. He's just so real! Holidays are made up. Birthdays don't matter. He's just sooooo much smarter than most and DIFFERENT. It's the world that's a problem. He's actually amazing. He's special.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 04:56 AM
13

Oh and as a black woman who white men love to hit on, they REFUSE to believe I'm "just black". I must be mixed with something. My skin is too light. My curls are too loose. Also they're attracted to me, which means I have to be more interesting than black mixed with black. The amount of men (whether white or other) who have told me that "I've never been into black women, but you're different." would be astonishing to anyone not on FDS, probably. Even black men say to me "I've only dated non-blac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 04:40 AM
22

If you call them out, you're teaching them. It hurts the next woman because they learn to mask better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 05:08 AM
73

The last time I tried OLD, I tried Bumble. A man flirted with me for a few days and then asked me out. And by out, I mean he asked me to drive two hours to meet him at a park for a walk. So, I blocked him. And then deleted the app. And learned my lesson.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 02:03 AM
431

When he comes back crawling and begging, stay strong. He will have just found out his options aren't what he hoped out there and will be all ready to resentfully settle for you under the guise of "I figured out some stuff"/"You're the only one for me."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/21 01:50 AM
163

It's not even deep down girl. It's right up front. The mocking and disgust oozing off this man when talking about women is from a place of rage, jealousy, and hatred.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 04:22 AM
480

When he said "barely 5 lasko fans tall" I screamed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 12:25 AM
11

Thank y'all so much for keeping this a safe space for us. Your hard work is apparent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 10:58 PM
55

You should read the hate messages I've received from this comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 09:24 PM
120

Yeah, her lyrics often prove that. As do the type of women who obsess over her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 07:09 PM
49

Literally I used to see that so much when I used OLD. "Calm, cool, and collective." automatic left swipe. Also it's like a man who says he "hates drama". He's the cause of that drama. A "calm, cool, collective" man is lazy, disinterested, apathetic, and irrational. Also has terrible grammar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 05:33 PM
12

Yet they say this sub is just as bad and all it teaches is... not dealing with men who don't value us? Learning to be happy with ourselves? Leaving swiftly when men don't treat us like people? Accepting that being single is okay compared to being used or abused? Yet people (who either don't actually read this sub or who willfully misread it) say we're just as bad as these LITERAL MURDERERS because we won't have sex or even date men who are inconsiderate... These men objectify women and KILL when…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 05:33 AM
9

Yes. This is why. He literally picked the house to show his (even worse) friends pictures of his big ass house and to post pictures of it online. I should've tagged him in the pictures I took of all the empty rooms on my way out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 10:17 PM
16

I don't see how unless your username is your email address
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 09:14 PM
46

People who aren't approved can not post in this sub. Their comments are auto removed until they are reviewed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 09:07 PM
77

Same girl. If some woman just suddenly started "acting crazy" and left "out of nowhere" he was NEVER listening to the likely hundreds of times she explained problems and begged for change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:34 PM
61

He always said everyone told him he was just like his dad. His dad who was divorced five times and told a story about one of his ex wives who took curtains, curtain rods, and ice trays. As I was taking the ice trays myself, I was thinking "why didn't I listen to the warnings of those five women? He is just like his father and they're both terrible." His father is in his 80s, alone, and miserable. Apples and trees.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:31 PM
91

I took pics of the empty ass house and sent them to my girlfriends group chat and the jokes were so delightful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:33 PM
137

Oh girl. If he'd paid for a cleaning service and bought furniture, I'd probably still be in that relationship blaming myself for my unhappiness. And now I'm three years out with two more degrees, thinner, happier, better. And he's still where I left him, probably calling me names and still complaining how badly I treated him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:25 PM
286

My ex was like this. And years ago, a younger, dumber me posted something very similar to this on Reddit. The comments were vicious, saying things like I should be happy to be with a man making so much and I was just a gold digger. I was making ~$75k, and he was making about four times that. He refused to live in any of the places I found for reasonable costs because he could afford it. He wanted a 3500sqft house, though he never cleaned a single sq in. They told me I didn't deserve a big home a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:43 PM
2

So true. I always peep the tip. Generosity is so important
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 03:12 AM
2

Two steak dinners can be $100 a piece. A porterhouse for 2 can be $200. Add appetizers, a bottle of wine, sides, dessert? It's easy to spend quite a bit more than that for dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 09:07 PM
10

My favorite restaurant is called Kimball House. It's in Atlanta. The bill is usually about $400-500 for two. It's somewhere I go every time I'm in that city (with my girlfriends). I have allowed one man to take me, and he happily paid the bill. People spend money in ways that make them happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 09:05 PM
15

At this point she is probably staying because it would be such a blow to her psyche to accept that she wasted her teens and 20s on a nothingburger man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 04:13 PM
4

Oh girl I'm a bartender and the women who act the most jealous, possessive, and insane always pay the bill. They also order for their boyfriend because they are scared what'll happen if he looks at or speaks to another woman. (probably because every time he does, he cheats). They get mad if I ask him questions like, "What would you like to drink?" which is my whole job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 06:05 PM
608

Sounds like Matt is the one he loves. She's not his girlfriend. Matt is his boyfriend. And of course the advice on this post is "You should tell him you want him to treat you nice!" "Maybe he can't afford it so you should offer to split the bill or pay for the places you want to go!" Y'all...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 03:55 PM
30

My parents have two bank accounts. A joint account where my dad's income goes, and my mom's where hers goes. He always will be after my mom when she uses her account for anything! Just "Why did you use that card! You should just keep it!" I never knew this was anything but standard. When I found out friends deposited their checks in a joint account, I was confused. No man needs to see my money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 04:55 AM
26

It could possibly create a false sense of intimacy, though. I can't quite explain why. I've usually been to breakfast with people I was already in a relationship with. Oooo what a goop point. I love brunch. But brunch is for friends or lovers. Also a brunch date could be him getting you tipsy in the morning which leads you to say yes to extending to lunch (and continuing drinking) and eventually lowering your guard. It's also that trick they pull where the squeeze "multiple dates" into a day so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:53 AM
66

They want us to settle for shitty sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:35 AM
9

Girl. Ashley was a slave owner and Rhett fought for the South (romanticizing the "lost cause" which is the book's intention). They're both shitty racist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:29 AM
9

Sure he doesn’t have any obvious red flags, but is he the kind of partner you truly want? And if not, why are you wasting your time? Repeat ad nauseum
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:25 AM
14

That abuser analogy is perfect. I work with younger people who are still in that mindset "Yes, my dad beat me and made me watch straight porn in elementary school to make me straight, but I still want his love and approval." My heart breaks for them. It takes years, work, and therapy to get to the point of saying "Fuck them. They're wrong. I'm okay." But as seeking care for trauma and mental health becomes normalized, these men see their power decrease. That's why they hate this sub so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:21 AM
18

I think most of us are here because of a lesson we were forced to learn. I'm happy for the women in this space with demanding mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and mentors. But, most of us have been socialized in a culture that is very much tailored to men getting everything and teaching us to feel lucky for scraps, at best. So we've been forced to learn, and the impetus is shitty relationships overwhelmingly. We're brought here by reading stories about women dealing with the same shit we're told is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:13 AM
7

I love those movies and the series but he's a perfect example of a Peter Pan who stayed in college forever to avoid adult life. I love the series because it's nerd shit for the nerds who get left out of hers shit (lit nerds, history nerds, basically anyone who isn't a scifi/game nerd ( aka women like me))
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:06 AM
48

Fully left out the fact it was about men cosigning incest and pedo behavior in the thousands.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:03 AM
76

Every time. The angry men aren't mad about pedophilia, they're mad they're getting called by their name. They think they aren't pedophiles since they haven't actually done the thing they wanna do: have sex with children. My pop says "Locks only keep honest men honest." (I think is an Abraham Lincoln quote). As in... If there was no law or blocks in place, they'd do it to. I read a quote here once that said "Minimum age is like minimum wage. If it was legal to go lower, they would."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:02 AM
58

Oh. He goes on to defend the men in the comments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 04:57 AM
30

Hey! I got hate mail on Reddit for commenting on this post pointing out how he ignored the cosigning of pedos to call FDS a hate sub. I'm super proud.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 04:57 AM
33

Literally looks homeless. Like... Not to disparage the homeless at all. But he's clearly in a home and taking care of himself as well as someone who is so mentally ill that has been forced out on the street.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 04:52 AM
4

Sometimes it's nice to hear a man say the exact sentiments we express here. Many deny the truths we know. And of course our conversation had lots more nuance than "going to school for a hypothetical man", but your concern is very valid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 11:53 PM
13

if he's better off it can become a tool used to keep you around/guilt you if you're not in a good place financially. That is such a great point as well. I grew up in a wealthy community and it was very clear to me at a young age that money could be a leash. Other women would be shocked my mother didn't have to ask my dad before making purchases or booking salon appointments while their husband made six or seven figures. My mother would be shocked they stayed with a man who thought he could "allo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 07:20 PM
36

Ooo facts. I thought they were just bad at jokes or idk... For example guys telling me "I'm a horrible cook" never used to put me off. I have girlfriends who aren't great cooks either, and just because I'm great at something doesn't mean everyone is. But now I know a man saying that means he'll eventually stop taking me on dates ever and expect me to do all the cooking and cleaning. My girlfriends can at least make themselves something easy, not literally nothing. And if they want me to cook for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 04:46 PM
12

Thank you! I love this space because of women like you! Pragmatic advice and uplifiting motivation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 02:47 PM
18

The friend saying this to me knows I'm financial stable, so I'd say his statement comes backed with that knowledge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 02:38 PM
67

I think that's what he was pointing out to me. If I want my master's, it's for me. I love your energy. I realized into my 20s there were decisions I was making for a hypothetical man, and fuck that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 02:24 PM
53

😬 This is a great point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 02:09 PM
47

Yeah honestly I am glad he said it to me. I've been focused on becoming the kind of person I'd want to be with (which I know is still a good goal). Even with all of the things I do to create the best life for myself I sometimes don't give myself enough credit. This really reminded me that if I happen to meet a man who loves me and wants to be with me, these things I see as imperfections will be minutiae in his eyes. And I hate to admit it, but hearing it from a man who does have that to offer to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 01:38 PM
271

I had a date a couple months ago with someone who'd been BEGGING to take me out. I am between two cities often, so we made a plan for when I'd be closer to his. Days leading up to it, he's excited. The day of, he's jazzed, but ask if we can push our meet time back by 30 minutes. I arrive at the time he suggested. He calls me and asks "Are you on the way?" and i let him know I'm at the place, just getting out of my car. He says "Wait, you're already there? Why didn't you call me and let me know w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 02:51 PM
6

If i want to go on a walk, I'll take my dog. What an awkward way to have a first date anyway. How can you look at each other and have a conversation when you're looking around at stuff and side by side?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 11:36 PM
234

Oh my God 🤮🤮🤮🤮 Why are you so right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 08:28 PM
105

TODAY a man who told me he was 37 was speaking about something to do with generations, and i pointed out that he's a millennial too. He insisted he wasn't. I asked him if he was born in the 80s. He said no and then said "Oh wait! You think I'm like 40 right? I'm actually 50. I just say that because i prefer women in their early 30s." Boy bye
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 12:18 AM
32

Not like that. I'm southern too. Manners are an expectation. I mean the type who wants a "tradwife" and goes on and on about the man being the head of the household which means you're cleaning his dirty underwear off the floor every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 05:22 PM
22

Father and godfather are both retired from the FD. I know a lot of firemen. As much as i love my dad and my godfather, I've said since i was a little girl i would never ever be involved with one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 04:10 PM
42

Oh yeah i forgot they're super into all kinds of risky hobbies. I know at least three who have died crashing motorcycles since they're adrenaline junkies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 04:03 PM
87

Misogynists. Fratty bros but didn't go to college. Super conservative. Smell like smoke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:53 PM
6

I think sometimes we all need to be reminded that our standards aren't impossibly reachable. As much as FDS is about being the best you and not worrying about men, many of us hope to one day find a partner that treats us as they should. I'm happy i have examples in my life. It makes it easy for me to not settle for less seeing that it's possible. My friend is plus sized, she doesn't have a degree. She's an amazing person and mother and deserves the treatment she receives. It's easy to think "I'l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 08:23 AM
29

One of my best friends. Her husband is the sole earner(she's a SAHM of two), also used to be a chef. The other day she told me he brings her breakfast in bed every day. Since she's at home with the boys all day, when he comes home he helps them with school work, cooks dinner, and cleans. He spoils her with her favorite things, takes her on cute getaways, etc. He's also a great BIL to me. Their relationship shows me that FDS works! She is the kind of girl that takes no shit and was always ready t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 01:21 AM
5

While i agree online dating is crap, i won't say give up in your 30s or that all the good men are taken. Just like you've spent the last decade or so of your life building and educating yourself, there are likely men in the same position. Many good guys who were too career oriented to focus on building a relationship and didn't want to put another person through that. Guys who dated women but ended up in a situation like yours. A friend of mine (a man) is recently single because his wife was che…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 05:46 PM
17

This is so touching. I'm glad you had that moment with your mother. It's so sweet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 10:32 PM
6

Honestly i forgive myself and i want you to as well. We're conditioned to accept shit from men. If you are self reflective enough to take good lessons from bad relationships, you're doing it right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 10:09 PM
9

A lot of us are here because we were once Barbara the Builder. Don't feel bad. Just don't do it again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 10:06 PM
1

That part about more successful black women remaining unmarried has proven statistically untrue. Overwhelmingly they are married, and to black men... This is something we're told to lower our expectations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 06:43 PM
19

Literally his life is what you think a dope life would be at 12, but an adult would not. Snack food everywhere, lots of porn, video games, your mommy (aka girlfriend) bringing you food, no bedtime....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:01 PM
48

Yes. He's a porn addict, alcoholic, fat, control freak child. But he had a great job and I thought, foolishly, that I could turn him into a man. He's rather masturbate and play video games than anything else, has likely never read a book in his adult life, and I, if course, have never been happier than when I left his sad ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:56 PM
24

Flashbacks to my therapist trying to gently guide me to leave my ex, and me hysterically crying because he had me so manipulated I thought it was impossible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:47 PM
135

I once bought my ex tickets to see Dave Chappell, plane tickets to get there, an air bnb to stay at while we were there, got a luxury rental car because he hated giving power over to the uber driver, took him out to fine dining spots while on this lil vacation. The next month was my birthday. He took me to get a cheeseburger. I wish I was lying. When I asked about it, he said "I thought spending time together was enough of a gift." WE LIVED TOGETHER.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:08 PM
3

So there was actually a study done on this because this is something people say in the Atlanta area all the time, and it's actually not true. The proportion of heterosexual singles in Atlanta is the same as any large metropolis. But the men there have been told so much that there are 5 straight men for every woman, they really feel like they're the catch, even when they have nothing at all going for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 12:32 AM
7

Dude the Atlanta dating scene is wack as fuck. These men really expect wifey behavior and stripper appearances, refuse to commit, talk shit about black women as if they weren't raised by one (alone). God forbid they have a good education, then they turn into whole other monsters. And if you do dare to have control of all of your own, then they dog you for being "too independent"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 12:16 AM
1

I grew up around the Atlanta area. But I currently live in north Florida.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 11:43 PM
3

Oh I guess I was born divested... Lol I grew up in a suburb and was rejected throughout my life by the black community for "acting white", no matter how much I had pride in my family and our history. Not listening to hiphop, not wearing weaves, all sorts of things that are now being accepted more broadly within the black community were things that left me ostracized. I've also been hyperfemme my whole adult life, and never understood the women who want to act like a man. I haven't had much succe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:59 PM
1

Will you explain more about the divest movement?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:05 PM
1

The worse part is you know there's a lady out there who thinks this is a great idea and she can help him through. #strugglelove #holdhimdown
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 06:36 AM
2

Every single time ladies post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:55 AM
3

My ex would say how much he loved my cooking because it was better than a restaurant. At the time i took it as a compliment because I'm a great cook. But now i realize it because he could order whatever he wanted. It was better than a restaurant. He'd even request dishes from restaurants we ate at (that i paid for) saying "I know it'll taste better than it did there." which it would. 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 05:54 AM
38

OH MY GOD MY EX I cooked every night! Whatever he wanted 99% of the time. The rare occasion I'd make something i was craving he'd pout and complain. He never ONCE cooked for me. Even when i was sick in bed, i got my ass up and got my ass some soup. I would rather be single forever then be a mommy to a grown ass man ever again. I'm so much happier, and i eat whatever the fuck i want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:08 PM
19

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 02:04 PM
27

My mother was introduced to my father by his best friend who is a woman (and is my godmother). My father met my godmother in college. My mother worked with my godmother. My godmother is the quintessential badass woman: owns her own everything, travels solo, lives her life by her own rules. A friend my mother loved and respected, so my dad was already vetted, in a way, before my mom met him. So, I'd say that perhaps through HVW friends, or through establishing good relationships with HVW. My frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 05:42 AM
3

I have a close male friend who i cuddle with. He happens to be gay. We snuggle up in bed in cozy pajamas, watch top model, talk shit, eat sushi, and drink champagne. I hope you find a cuddle buddy! I'm sure one of your friends feels this way and would enjoy it as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:20 PM
31

Damn you calling me out so hard. This was me for my ex. Perfect little wifey. He had to take Viagra to get his dick up by the time he was 28 because he watched so much porn and there my dumb ass was, cooking and cleaning and hoping he'd give me a ring. Just up in the strip club sitting next to him watching him give the money I EARNED to strippers so he would love me more. I'm so glad i grew up. I'm glad this sub exists so we don't have to only hear the common messages that teach us being a doorm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:15 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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