The part that loses me is the generalization. Neither gender can be simplified so easily and there is too much variation between individuals. Also, what's wrong with having two leaders, each in charge of their own domain? -That's actually the most common characteristic of the relationships I've seen.
Thanks for the reply. But I hope that by "putting your foot down", you mean communicating the fact that you yourself are not happy with the situation, and are considering leaving if this were to be the official relationship dynamic. Sexual strategy is one thing, but beyond that, social agency needs to be respected for all humans. Don't trick people into living a life they normally wouldn't want to live...
To "let" is to authorize something to happen. You can still be in a relationship with dominant/submissive personality types without actually exercising your authority over that person. edit: I don't understand the objection to my comments. It's not up to you to "let" others do things or not. Please clarify if I misunderstood something.