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Lopsided_Actuary4790 Archive

View 0 posts and 15 comments by Lopsided_Actuary4790 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Scanning the advice and insights here, I want to offer a different perspective. Marriage is still the number 1 way to make money exponentially. Despite all of the horror stories and my own divorce. There are things to consider like prenups, and other financial instruments to protect both you and your potential partner. One of the most important things to get clear on is: Who you really are What you really want What you need in a partnership The same or worse statistics exist for business partner…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 07:38 PM
2

That’s one of the places I started building relationships. Side bonus is you work out!
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 11:00 PM
7

It takes more effort for men primarily because we haven’t been socialized to be as communal early in life. (We don’t ask our friends to go to the bathroom together) The best way I’ve found is to seek out a regularly occurring event and build friendships there. Many companies have a group activity built into their sales/marketing structure. Bicycle shops have a regular cycling group. Shoe or sports shops have a running/walking group, etc. Go where the action is already happening and build friends…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 07:00 PM
1

Understood
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 02:04 PM
1

There’s a lot to be said for staying in a marriage, I just wouldn’t do it for others. Stay in the marriage for you, if you do. Don’t put such a heavy decision on the shoulders of the kids. They’re not asking you to do either thing. What’s likely to happen is you and your wife will both feel resentful. Try to have some deep, maybe even difficult conversations with your wife about attraction and what you want. Let her know what you’re saying here if you haven’t. When you’re saying always, how did …
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 01:58 PM
1

Absolutely. It’s hard work and it’s our work to do.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 06:01 PM
8

Really appreciate this question. There’s a LOT of pain in this sub and I’m grateful it’s a place of healing for so many, but divorce is just one of many difficult life transitions for me. Finally getting honest with myself about our relationship hurt like hell. I cried and was numb, then numbed. Therapy for months and swore off of relationships. But during that time I was leveling up. Leaned back into dressing like I wanted to and being outside and riding my bike and exercising. Started taking m…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 02:16 PM
3

This 1000 times!! Don’t do anything. If you feel there is still hope and you have regret, the best thing to do is get clear. Don’t cloud it with another relationship. Be lonely and journal and do the deep inner work that will make you a catch no matter if your marriage is resumed or you move forward in a different direction. Get counseling and find friends who will sit with you and work with you. Read and work and be with your thoughts and feelings. Even go to a marriage therapist. Move forward …
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 09:39 PM
1

Yeah, the whole thing sucks. Sorry to hear you endured something similar. None of this is fun, hopefully it leads to grow and thriving for all involved.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 03:46 PM
1

Sure. She wanted both. We had a good life and a decent relationship. She didn’t want to give that up, but also wanted to pursue someone new and be pursued. It’s natural. We desire what we don’t have - but it takes courage to let go of what you do have in order to reach for something that may never materialize.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 01:54 PM
9

To me, it’s not a switch but more a different way of being in the world. She wanted to be seen differently and when she got validated for that persona, she embraced it. We’re all complex. Like how being with one friend brings out stories from one era vs being with another brings out different thoughts and feelings. She got tired of being mom and wife and…got tired of me. I respect that but ultimately had to decide what I wanted to do about it. I chose divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 05:00 PM
1

Decades seem to do something to people. Just like numerical age. Think about how you looked at life at 20,30,40 and the choices we make approaching those ages. Also, states have 10 and 20 year rules in place. IL here and at 20 they get lifetime alimony. My marriage ended around 20.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 02:09 PM
2

Hmm. It seemed like you were saying you felt unhappy. Two people being unhappy might mean there’s a chance of realignment. I’m ambivalent about divorce as a concept these days, after overcoming a lot of the religious programming you mention. Grew up Pentecostal. I was 42 when I finally decided and 43 when I filed. Projecting into the future, I realized we would likely be miserable mostly, and I would be doing the work of stuffing myself. Soul death didn’t feel like a viable option. We saw money …
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 07:39 PM
2

Hi OP, looks like you received a lot of advice in the previous thread you started. Did you discuss any of that with your wife? What is she saying about the divorce, since you all are having serious conversations? She has a good job, you seem to be doing good enough to support kids. I chose divorce because of incompatibility, but all of this is very subjective. What are you leaning toward? What decision-making strategies are you engaging?
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 05:26 PM
6

It sucks. I got fired about four months after I filed for divorce and floundered for months. Go ahead and apply for unemployment and food stamps. The worst they can say is no and if they say yes, you will have a bit of a lifeline while you job hunt and/or work through law school. Sounds like you have a place to live, though it is less than ideal. A foundation for showers, sleep and food is better than living in a car or crowd-surfing, usually.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 05:19 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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