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LordShadows Archive

View 4 posts and 757 comments by LordShadows on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

There's a big tendency in women to push the responsibility of reading their mind unto men expecting them to know beforehand if they want something to happen or not Normal social interactions are, sometimes, temporarily uncomfortable, and there's nothing we can do about it as humans with human means of communication so, well, we just have to accept that sometimes we'll make others uncomfortable and that they'll do the same without any ill intents And that it isn't a crime or sin to do so
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 09:48 AM
3

The theme and situations Women's and men's sexuality doesn't get shamed in the same way and in the same situations
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 11:15 AM
3

You mean ways women sexuality is shamed? Women who have many parteners are shamed Women who work in the sex industry are shamed Women who don't marry are shamed etc
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 12:57 PM
4

Not at all I literally just said that I wanted to add nuance To show that everything isn't black and white I'm sure you were shamed, and so were I Both are wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 12:22 PM
7

To say not everybody gets shamed for sexuality in general and that there's differences in how men's and women's sexuality is shamed To add nuance in short
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 11:19 AM
3

The one who can't buy sex toys and enjoy there sexuality alone without being seen as a looser or a pervert But it's not really a "which has it worse" question to be fair as both have it bad for different reasons, and we should push for a world where both feel fine being themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 10:49 AM
8

Depends Sex toys and porn consumption are usually shamed for men but often ignored or even sometimes glorified as sexual liberation for women And inappropriate behaviour of women on men like touching without consent or sexual fetishisation of individuals are also often ignored while shamed in men But yes, there's a toxic push for men to pursue women sexually as a mesure of their worth (regardless of if they want to by the way) and another one for women to ignore their own sexuality to prevent ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 10:47 AM
2

I mean, the problem with age gap relationships is that we have no standard, scientifically supported scale to apply easily on individuals Maturity doesn't follow a clean curve, that everybody follows through ageing, nor socioeconomical status or even just experience And differences in those are worsening risk factors, not certainties There's an average growth rate that can kind of give an idea we try to stick to, but it definitely fails as a scale to judge every individual relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 10:41 AM
13

Kind of but also kind of not? There's a push for women to be proud of their sexuality because it was shamed before But there isn't the same push for men On the contrary, men sexuality is often seen as inherently predatory even when it's not Seduction is glorified on the men side, their capacity to "get" many girls while it is shamed on the women side But having sex toys nowadays is often encouraged for women and rarely shamed, while a guy having male toys would often be shamed and certainly not …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 10:35 AM
9

Exactly We should denounce both
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 10:26 AM
26

Both are bad, though Making men or women feel shame for desires they don't ask for
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 10:26 AM
–

Never said it would
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 04:36 PM
–

Have you seen modern politics?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 04:16 PM
–

True And what happens then? When men emancipate themselves from women? When they stop feeling the need to please and impress them? Equality is what happens And dating will become for women what it is for men now and we'll speak again then
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 04:15 PM
–

Suffering is a problem The suffering of a big part of the population is a societal problem And, whatever you think the cause is, a big part of men are suffering right now And lonliness is a very likely part of this problem Feeling rejected as individuals because they are men too Feeling that their problems are ignored because they are men, too And problems that are ignored, populations with problems that are ignored, tend to go badly historically
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 05:45 AM
2

"I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer." -Jim Carrey
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 05:39 AM
1

Not everywhere, and it often applies if the conflict between the two parents could cause harm to the child education and emotional well-being And in those situations, the mother is often overly advantaged because we're more scared of men than women in conflicts regardless of the reality of the individuals and their situation It's sometimes not a constitutional legal problem (even if it still is in a lot of countries, but the same can be said of women's rights, so not the best argument) but a soc…
/r/MensRights27/05/25 05:43 AM
4

Full physical and psychological responsibilities for 9 months After that, it's really can be the responsibility of either parents Let's give fair compensation to women for these nine months and give men a right to keep children even if the mother doesn't want to Natural differences in capacity shouldn't mean different rights. It should mean different support
/r/MensRights22/05/25 03:40 PM
5

Great then Give the same help and conditions for single fathers Because if a girl unilaterally chooses to keep a child, even if neither have the resources to care for it, you can be sure that the father will still be asked to pay even if he can't
/r/MensRights20/05/25 06:00 AM
5

And many women abortion even if the father doesn't want them too One is legal, while the other isn't And women on male rape, especially in domestic violence cases, are usually not prosecuted even if a child is born out of it
/r/MensRights20/05/25 05:56 AM
2

Then that's great! It's true that laws differ from one country to another on the subject, but the overall morality around it doesn't Single men taking care of children are also often a lot rarer in part because they don't have decisional power on the subject First, in case of divorces, their is still a massive bias for children to be given to the mother rather than the father And, once again, they don't have decisional power when it comes to keeping a child or not before birth They can't choose …
/r/MensRights20/05/25 05:55 AM
4

Then why not one help men taking care of children? And you're talking about women who choose to have children and men who didn't Sure, that's reality. We need to take care of children Doesn't explain the inequalities in treatments between men and women one bit, though
/r/MensRights19/05/25 05:45 PM
12

So? In most countries abortion is government covered costs Why, when it comes to women, we consider the government should pay, but when it comes to men, we consider they should pay?
/r/MensRights19/05/25 05:37 PM
53

Can a man force a woman to abort? No One side has full decisional power over it, so you can't really consider it something for men Equality on the subject would be for men to opt out of parental obligation if they want to before the baby's birth But how many men are forced into child support without any choices on the matter? And if they want to keep the child and raise it even if alone when the mother doesn't? The matter is more complex because they don't have to go through the struggle of preg…
/r/MensRights19/05/25 05:54 AM
1

It's caused by social conditioning in parts, the deliminitation between learned and innate behaviour is still today badly defined and understood Social norms sources come from realities even if it often get distorted through time It isn't unatural for men to chase as it is very much a natural incentive they have Is it unnecessary? Maybe Depends on ones goals in life, though. If your goal is to have as many offspring as you can, then then that's a necessity for you and you'll probably pass this b…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 09:20 AM
1

The risk/gain ratio isn't the same because of the pregnancy, which induces differences in behaviour Guys can basically cum and go if they want and have many children quickly so they have an incentive in chasing, getting as many partners as possible and not care too much about them afterwards Girls have to spend months of energy intensive pregnancy that only give one child on average thst they are stuck with for years so they have an incentive to filter their partners to keep those that will stay…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 08:13 AM
4

That's just dumb methodology. Equalize pay within a profession regardless of gender not between two different professions with opposite gender ratio.
/r/MensRights13/04/25 07:05 AM
72

Women are Wonderful Effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect?wprov=sfla1 People, particularly women (between 4 and 5 times more than men), struggle to accept any narratives painting women as bad or as worse than men or men as better than women. This includes datas and studies with those showing women's faults being seen as less truthful and of lower quality than the same studies but with the gender switched. It is theorised to be because those narratives are seen as hurtin…
/r/MensRights07/04/25 06:56 AM
1

Happy to know that you have a deep enough understanding of every young girl in the kink sphere in the world to all fit them into a nice little box. Doesn't explain older girls looking for younger guys, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 05:14 AM
3

My two friends who got stabbed by their girlfriends disagree with your mom. My two other friends who got raped by women disagree, too. My woman friend who got raped by a woman disagree too. My other woman friend who's single mom hit and abused her, disagreed too. A reality where women can do nothing wrong is great for your mom though as it imply that she can do nothing wrong which mean that if she does anything, it's good by design or at least neutral. Adapting morality to fit her actions instea…
/r/MensRights03/04/25 06:00 AM
2

You very much don't hang out in the kink sphere then. Young women thirsty for older men are plenty even often asking for role-plays that are more than controversial. There are also quite a lot of older women looking for younger men. Men are just taught to express their desires more boldly and that going against the norm is bold when women are taught to hide their sexuality and that going against the norm is attention seeking and/or crazy behaviour. Gender roles are killing women sexuality and, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 05:46 AM
1

So it is researched. What more do you want? Efforts are made to make it happen. Abortion shouldn't be illegal, but, yes, allowing men to just walk away when it is, is hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 02:04 PM
1

For men, sexuality and romance tend to be a continuation of friendship. Not something separated. Heterosexual men don't go further in their friendship because, well, they just aren't attracted to each other (and because there is sociocultural pressure shaming men intimacy and any homosexual adjacent behaviour). Women tend to see those as separated. For them, starting a romantic relationship with a friend is giving up something they know and love for something new and unpredictable instead of mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 08:25 AM
2

I mean, there is. It's called a condom. But no contraception is 100% effective, and accidents or bad decisions still happen. Now, when it happens, as a woman who has access to abortion, you become the one with unilateral decisions of if the child is born or not. It's your body, your right, but you shouldn't be able to force the consequences of this decision unilaterally on the father. When it happens, both should have a right to choose what part it will have in their life without being trapped i…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 08:07 AM
1

Not all we feel enter our conscious mind. Maybe it was shallow. Maybe it was forgettable. But the biological processes were there.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:01 PM
1

That's true, but it's a lot more important for a mother to bond with her child than for people to bond with their sexual partners. The fact that childbirth and breastfeeding release more of it corroborates my point. It is bonding.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:00 PM
1

You misunderstand "bonding" as always positive. People who suffer from Stockholm syndrome bond with their abusers. People in abusive relationships have bonds with the person hurting them. It isn't always a positive thing. It can even make a lot of things even more toxic and hurtful.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:58 PM
1

What makes this obvious to you? Things that were thought as obvious have been proven false before. What makes you think it isn't the case here?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:55 PM
1

So, not me. You're projecting all those caricatures on me because of my gender. It's called sexism.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:51 PM
1

That we lack genuine bonds in general in today's world. The objectification of sex is one side of that. We should encourage a more human approach to relationship and sexuality far from the transactional model it's becoming. To just try to genuinely connect to others without seeing sexual attraction as a threat. I'm not saying pushing oneself to accept unwanted sexual advances, but I'm saying both not seeing sex as people wanting to use you and not believing you can use other for sex and be emoti…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:48 PM
0

Conceptualising doesn't show the reality of the feelings behind it. It even often hides it. By saying sex is this way for men, you encourage men to think this themselves, and you help a divide to be created between them and their true sexual self.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:42 PM
1

That's what I'm saying. The reality of it doesn't change because of how people interpret it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:41 PM
1

Do they? Do we have rights to hurt others? Do we have rights to make the world a little worse? I'd say yes. But, from a societal perspective, we have a duty to care for each other. If we don't, others have no duty to care for us either, and the world become a little worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:39 PM
1

There are variations in bonding preferences. I agree. But it doesn't mean sex isn't a bonding behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:36 PM
1

The point I'm trying to make is that sex isn't a tool to bond but a part of the bonding process itself. It shouldn't be about how we use sex. It should be about how we bond with each other and sex seen as an essential part of that. It's a framing problem. Trying to address the behaviour this framing cause without changing the framing itself won't change anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:34 PM
1

Bonding isn't the interpretation of the action. What I'm talking about is a biological thing that cause people to connect to each other emotionally. Even if it doesn't enter the conscious mind, even if it's weak, it's here.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 03:28 PM
2

Here here the thing. Nothing of what you said leads to the conclusion that "sex is not an act of bonding". You said it yourself, we do produce oxytocin. There are loads of other things that's true but we do produce the hormone that makes us bond. Outside of that, I agree with everything you said. But sex is an act of bonding.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:47 AM
0

Honestly, I kind of agree. But there are the same problems with this than they are with drugs. It's not the cause, but the symptoms and banning the symptoms won't cause them to disappear but only hide them and make them worse. The most effective way to fight drugs is proven to be controlled by legalisation coupled with social work and nothing psychological and economic help. We stop drugs by addressing the issues pushing people into them. When we ban them, drug use actually increase. Here, we ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:44 AM
2

Nope, my position is that rapist are trying to fill a void in themselves. Sex makes you forget this void, and people try to use it to replace addressing their issues. For rapist though, it's most of the time not only a void of meaningful bonds but also a need to feel powerful and in control. It's hurting others to prove to yourself that you can. It's a despicable act.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:39 AM
1

I've talked with many who described just that. Doesn't mean they don't hate them nor feel disgusted and hurt with what happened. Another example could be Stockholm syndrome. People bonding with their kidnapper and abusers regardless of what was done to them. Bonding doesn't mean moral or healthy. It just is.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:35 AM
0

Meaning is how we interpret reality. Reality is that we release a hormone that makes us bond with others whenever we have sex regardless of the meaning we associate with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:32 AM
1

You use the word "intimacy" to describe a set of interpersonal dynamics that manages our connections to others and their qualities if I understand correctly. And, you're right. The feeling we get from sex doesn't equate to the quality of interaction outside of it. But emotional bonding is something else. Something more basic. We create interpersonal relationships, but we feel the bond we have with others regardless of these. Doesn't mean that it is healthy, though. Doesn't mean that it is in our…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:30 AM
1

Oxytocin plays a part in child birth, which is true. But it also plays a part in bonding, and bonding with your child is an important part of child birth. I agree with everything you said, though. What I meant is that sex is a bonding behaviour and that most people need it as a bonding behaviour. I also said that people trying to use it as replacements for all bonding behaviour are using it in an unhealthy way.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:18 AM
1

I mean, women slut shame too. Consent is very important but can only affect what people can control. Touching you is something people can control, but wanting you isn't. You not consenting to others wanting you is like you not consenting to the sun shining in the sky. It's just not something anybody can control. And it doesn't change that people sexual desires are a desire to bond. No matter if it's wanted or not. No matter how conscious there are of it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:14 AM
0

You can disagree. And I do see it through my lens. That why I'm trying to expose myself to what others see through theirs. To widen my own vision. What is making you disagree?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:07 AM
1

I see. But intimacy isn't quite bonding either. You can bond with friends without being especially intimate, for example. It's the creation of interpersonal connections, and the objectification of sex often hid to ourselves the impact it has on us.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:06 AM
1

It's not exactly that. It's less about the pure behaviour and more about the narrative and internalisation people have of it for me. It's trying to take out a very fundamental part of sex and killing human interpersonal connections.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:03 AM
1

It's true. Depends on the religion, though. If I'm not mistaken, Aphrodites literally had religious prostitute in her temples, and the Kamasutra was a religious text. Abrahamic religions did quite some damage on human sexuality are still doing quite a lot today.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 07:59 AM
1

Oh? And what are those things?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 07:56 AM
1

That's true. But it's not a good way to heal, though. Trauma is a complex topic, but drowning one self in short-term gratification, while keeping people functional in their day to day life, will not address the wound causing the pain. A strong support system, people who care about you and who you care about is usually one of the best predictors when it comes to bettering ones mental health. Deep bonds with others help us heal and create resilience.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 07:55 AM
1

Not everything you feel makes it to your conscious mind. Doesn't mean they don't impact you. The meaning you associate with what happens to you filter parts of what you perceive and exacerbate others. All this mean than you can emotionally bond with someone and not be aware of it because you think you shouldn't bond with them in that situation. Doesn't mean that it is a deep bond or that it will really matter, but it's still there. The thing is, sex is a bonding behaviour. And the thing I'm tryi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 07:51 AM
1

Sorry, I misread what you said as you used the word "shame" in another context. I don't frame my thinking like "My beliefs are correct and others are wrong". That's just not how beliefs work for me. What I'm telling is my point of view, my comprehension of the subject, and I'm happy to get other points of views to widen mine. Sometimes, I disagree, but it is because I see incoherences not because I put my perspective above theirs. I do not put judgment of values over perspectives. I do think cha…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 07:33 AM
0

My sweet summer child, we aren't talking to the same women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:59 PM
1

I agree. Thought I feel like you're adding a moral subtext to the phenomenon. I think morality is something that should be built from reality and not a critic of reality. If the world is one way, it is the way it is. It's what we can do with that that defines morality for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:58 PM
0

I completely agree with all that you say. It doesn't go against what I'm saying, and I actually said nearly the same thing to other people here that though I was glorifying casual sex with my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:54 PM
0

Bonding is a biological need. They still release oxytocin when they have sex. They still bond even if it's shallow and forgettable for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:52 PM
1

A sexual connection is an emotional connection. But it isn't necessarily a healthy connection. You're right. And you're also right when you say that connections that aren't sexual or romantic are also extremely important. That's one thing I'm also talking about in my post. Some people try to use sex as their only source of emotional connections, and that's extremely unhealthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:51 PM
0

It not being deeply emotional doesn't mean it isn't emotional. I agree that nobody should be guilt tripped into sex but it's necessary for people to be aware of what others they interact with feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:39 PM
1

It isn't always internalised as bonding or researched with bonding as the internalised goal, but it always triggers the biological mechanism of bonding. It's a difference between the narratives we tell ourselves and the emotional reality under those narratives. It might not be a strong bond, and it might even never enter our conscious mind, but it is there.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:21 PM
1

Maybe there are sex differences in production, but there might also be sex differences in sensibility. Maybe men need less to feel the same, etc. It's hard to know where sex differences begin and end. I agree, though, I think it is also often wrongly interpreted as negative even when it isn't. There is still a big taboo around sexuality and people often feel that sexual interest as others wanting to take something from them when it is others wanting to live something with them. People's own sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:18 PM
1

We are killing human relationships. We have fewer bonds with others and for shorter amounts of time than at any other point in history. People feel isolated, and mental health is getting worse. For sex, we have sex with more people on average, but way less day to day sex in quantity. There is also a difference between what sex means to us and the emotional reality behind it. We tend to filter our emotions through our beliefs, so it can be hard to see how sex affects us if we think it shouldn't. …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:05 PM
1

How you see it doesn't always aline with the emotional reality behind it. It isn't as important for everybody but it's still something. We tend to filter our emotions through our beliefs, so it can be hard to see the impact sex has when we believe it shouldn't have any.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:59 PM
1

I think the "Relax. It's just sex." depends on the situation for its validity. Yes, it doesn't mean you'll marry and spend your life together. But it isn't nothing either. It's something at the very least. Something that happened between you and another human being. A connection. But, I also think people are way too afraid of connections. Connecting is a good thing. Even if it's only a little bit for a little while. In fact, I think we should try to connect more with each other. Isolation is a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:57 PM
1

I disagree with that. A big portion of the people having sex today are people on dating apps repeating the motions endlessly and ghosting afterwards. It's the tinder effect. Go through people like products in a market and change of partners like you change clothes. Consume, don't build or repair.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:51 PM
3

Yes. But like using ice instead of bricks for your house, you'll have to rebuild everything every summer.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:45 PM
2

Women tell men that this is what sex is for men. Same effect. Gender biases are communicated and reinforced by both genders. But you're right. It is a main cause of what I'm talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:38 PM
1

I mean, I think the problem here is the lack of model for who the girl is in your head to attach a bond with. It's bonding, but you don't exactly know with who, so it might as well not be. Still, if you see the girl again, you'll think about the BJ and how it made you feel. You have a link. A pleasurable one. Even if it is a shallow one.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:35 PM
1

I completely agree with everything you just said. I think we might disagree on how common healthy and unhealthy beliefs and behaviours are, though. My perception of it is that unhealthy beliefs and behaviours are spreading and more common that you think them to be. But it's true that there also is maybe more healthy people compared to what I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:31 PM
1

My goal is to talk and have a discussion on the subject. To expose myself to different perspectives as a way to better my own. I understand your point better now. Thanks for the clarification. Personal meaning and emotional realities are two different things. That's where we don't agree. Meaning is the interpretation you make of reality. And there, that's true, sex can be meaningless. Emotions are more like senses. They tell and don't explain. We create meaning as a way to explain what our sense…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:25 PM
1

This is a spectrum. There is everything between asexuals, hypersexuals, people who feel sex as extremely intimate, and people who see it as extremely casual. I do think nearly everybody bonds from it, but I also know that some people feel fine with casual sex and sex friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:14 PM
1

I'm not against sex. On the contrary, I think people are way too afraid of sex. In the same way, I think people are currently way too afraid to bond with each other. Way more than they are afraid of sex even. But we need to bond with each other. To feel connected with each other. So many use sex as a way to get this feeling of connection without actually trying to connect. But they don't realise that, even if it's a weak one, it's still a connection that affect them and others. And they don't re…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:10 PM
1

I kind of agree. I don't think seeing it as purely physical is right, though. It's always emotional, even if lightly. It's always a bonding experience even if we aren't conscious of it. To use your Disney ride analogy, even with someone you just met and won't see again afterwards, making this memory with all the feeling involved is a bonding experience. Doesn't mean you'll spend your life together, but you'll each take this nice moment with each other with you afterwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:02 PM
2

That's true. It also kind of spread across the world because of European colonisation and proselitism. It's just not natural human functioning, and that's kind of what I'm trying to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:58 PM
1

Do they? First time I hear about it. I agree. But values and emotional bonds are different things. Emotions are like senses. They tell you things. Values are like beliefs. They interpret what your emotions tell you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:56 PM
2

True. But sex can't be the only emotional connection you have with others and be healthy and you can have tender sexual connections with multiple people and still be healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:54 PM
1

That's an interesting perspective, and I agree. I was using "objectifying" from the perspective of seeing others as tools to an end. As consumables to be thrown away. I feel like your use is more in the "fetishisation" category, which isn't a dimension I addressed. And, honestly, I don't really know how it interacts with this whole topic while I'm sure it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:51 PM
-7

Bonding doesn't mean deep bonding or healthy bonding. Bonding experiences can be boring, traumatic, etc. Those are still bonding. To take the rape exemple, the conflicting feelings one can feel after rape are often a big and complex part of it that add to the pain and trauma. Other things releasing oxytocin doesn't change the fact that it cause bonding.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:46 PM
1

I'm really not. In fact, I'm kind of being accused of this by some people here, while others are accusing me of glorifying casual sex. Casual sex is good and still bonding. Objectifying sex is bad, even in long-term relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:41 PM
1

Not for everybody, even though I agree that many underestimate how deep it goes for themselves and others. Objectifying sex push people to ignore how deep it affects them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:39 PM
1

That's something I'm also denunciating, though. Some people use sex to try to bypass the whole bonding process. It isn't healthy. You talk about men, and those same men will then complain about how lonely they are. They use sex to try to fill the hole in their chest, not understanding that it only work for a little while and that they have to involve themselves emotionally to really start to fix themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:38 PM
1

Here is the thing, for some people, casual sex doesn't go that deep either. People are different in this. People also have different resistance to the feeling of rejection and the breaking of bonds. Some people can and need to create deep bonds with many other people, and some can live with only a few. There are individual variations in all of these. For example, people with borderline personality disorder have a mental intolerance to the slightest feeling of rejection or abbandonement, and poly…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:34 PM
1

You're right about running. Sport in general is necessary for our health, though, and it's not surprising for a bunch of feel good hormone to be released because of it. Still, oxytocin is causing bonding, and doing sport together is a great way to bond. I'm still confused, though. Some people can use the fact that sex is emotional in a symbolic way to go against sex Ed etc. I find this dumb and that's not what I'm doing. Beliefs are made to be challenged. Mine and others. I say how I think shoul…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:27 PM
1

That's actually a good question. I'll reverse it, why should we treat workers (sex workers or others) like objects rather than humans to bond with? As humans, we live as groups. We work as groups. We bound as groups. Treating each other's like utilities, even in a professional setting, is harmful to our mental and societal health. It's just not what human social behaviours evolved to do. We are supposed to bond with each other's. Work or not. For me, work shouldn't be objectifying either. We sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:20 PM
2

Because breastfeeding and cuddling are also bonding behaviours? What's your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:09 PM
-6

There is a difference between beliefs and reality. Sex release oxytocin. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone. Sex is a bonding behaviour. Beliefs filter our emotions. The current cultural tendency is to objectify sex. It feels cold because we push it into being cold. It is naturally warm. And this objectification, this push to break the bonds we have and want, is extremely unhealthy. That's what I'm trying to say here.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:09 PM
1

That's kind of true, and that's why I precised in another paragraph that I'm differentiating between emotional bonding and beliefs. People filter their emotions through their beliefs. Even if one thing makes them create emotional bonds, it doesn't mean that they won't try to objectify the people they are bonding with. But it is a learned behaviour that goes against the emotional reality of what's happening. And that's damaging, which is one of the things I'm trying to say in my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:05 PM
1

I think we have a miscommunication on intensity here. Bonding isn't an on/off thing. You can make light bonds and deep ones. Breaking the deep ones does deep damage, but surface level bonding won't hurt that much. And you can have surface level bonding through casual sex even though people often underestimate how much it can affect them. But different people bond in different ways with different intensities. Depending on how much you personally bond through sex, casual sex can hurt you way more …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:00 PM
0

You can bond with multiple people. You can create bonds short-term. Beliefs and respect are separated from the bonding process. We can enjoy some part of some people and not others and still bond with them. Some people also use sex as a cheap way to bypass the bonding process altogether, and that's one thing I'm trying to denunciate as unhealthy in my post. It does release oxytocin, and oxytocin is bonding. Doesn't always mean healthy bonding but it is still bonding.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:56 PM
1

Drugs are basically brain hacks. Doesn't mean the hormone doesn't do what it does. It means some people use drugs to get the feeling while bypassing the behaviour that produces it. For rape, some people hurt the people they bond with. Sex is also often used as a cheap way to bypass the whole bonding process altogether. It isn't healthy, though. For adultery, same as above, but adding that people can bond with multiple other people. Not just one. You can also bond with people in nonsexual ways. F…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:52 PM
1

Then we agree. I'm really not against casual sex and that's kind of funny because I get both people who think I'm against it or people who think I'm glorifying it in this post. I'm saying it is a bonding experience but not a replacement for all bonding experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:46 PM
2

I would love to see your sources on the body producing less oxytocin in later relationships. Rejection in general, even outside of sexuality or romance, cause damage. That doesn't mean we should stop trying to bond. And not all the bonds you create break and cause damage because you stopped seeing each other. Remember your childhood friends who you lost touch with because you each went your own way in life? In a way, your bond still exists. You grew apart, but you didn't break things. Sex can be…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:43 PM
2

Oxytocin is causing human bonding. It's not an opinion. It's a studied scientific reality. And sex is one of the biggest releases of oxytocin, the human body can produce. Bonding is part of sex. That a scientific truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:35 PM
1

That's true. And that's something I also say in my post. People underestimate that. But you don't need to rip apart violently the bond you created with everybody you stop seeing. Even in casual relationships, treating each other well and caring should be the norm. Ghosting is extremely emotionally harmful, for example, but pretty much normalised when just talking and being honest with how you feel can greatly reduce the pain inflicted. Rejections hurt, but it doesn't mean you need to force yours…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:33 PM
2

Because humans are pack animals. Lonliness has been proven as extremely harmful for mental health, and casual sex is often used as a coping behaviour relying on short-term gratification to ignore deeper issues. Sex addiction is a type of behavioural addiction, for example. Addiction is nearly always a symptom of deeper issues that get resolved once those issues are addressed. People have different social needs, though so many can be fine with even a few bonds. But they still need some.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:26 PM
2

Something like: Sex is emotionally meaningful. Objectifying sex is emotionally unhealthy. Sexual attraction means wanting to get emotionally closer?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:21 PM
1

I don't think casual sex is bad. On the contrary, I'm saying it's also a bonding experience. I'm saying you can't live an emotionally healthy life with just casual relationships, though. And I don't mean that you need a romantic partner, but you do need friends or other people to bond long-term with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:18 PM
-1

Honestly, I'm quite happy if it made you chuckle. I deeply prefer that to making people feel bad. Maybe I didn't express myself in the best way, though, if I sounded like a TV sex guru. Do you have recommendations on another way I could have said this that would have maybe been better?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:15 PM
2

I'm saying it because I believe it. I believe it because of the arguments and reasoning in my post. Why don't you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:12 PM
1

That's the thing. What you're talking about is sex passing through the filter of beliefs. Sex is emotional bonding in both cases, but you associate deep value in one and bad archetypes with the other. Of course, you have a deeper bond with your long-term partner than casual ones. It doesn't mean you're not emotionally bonding in both cases. Just that you're deepening something that is already deeper with one.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:11 PM
1

There are polyamourous and promiscuous women, too, though. I stayed away from specific gender in my post because of that. And, having feelings for multiple people doesn't diminish the feelings you feel. Bounding with different people doesn't diminish the bound you have with each of them. Symbolism is also on the beliefs level. I'm talking about the natural human feelings deeper than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:08 PM
2

I agree with you. People need to be open and honest with themselves, too, though. And both this and being honest with each other is kind of what I'm trying to advocat for with my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:05 PM
3

There is a difference between liking and the opinion you have on something. You can like pizza while knowing/believing it is unhealthy for you. Sex is healthy for you usually, but many think it isn't. This example is an oversimplification, but I go deeper in complexity in my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:03 PM
1

You're half right. A bunch of it is my interpretation. However, sex does release oxytocin in high amounts, and oxytocin is the hormone that cause bonding in humans. This is a scientific, easily verifiable fact. From a moral, philosophical perspective, it's open to argumentation. I personally agree. We should have better social level protections. We should have better sex education. We should better protect sex workers more. We should teach consent and safe sex practices. We should have legal and…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:00 PM
2

It's true. People have varying degrees of sexual needs and various preferences when it comes to bounding with each other. A bunch of people, however, might also have a very objectifying transactional view of sex and avoid it because of that however. Even if it's reality might fit them more than other. But it's not someone other than themselves can find for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:54 AM
-2

I see that it causes quite the instinctive reaction in you. Why that? What in your life brought you to feel this way toward what I said? I'm deeply against people forcing themselves to do anything sexual that they don't want to, so I struggle to see why what I said feel threatening to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:49 AM
3

If that was the case, there wouldn't be nearly as much drama surrounding sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:37 AM
1

By anybody who thinks there is a higher percentage of men in right-wing spaces or a higher percentage of women in left wing spaces. It is a reality that women tend to be more left leaning and men more right leaning. This creates an association in people's minds. An instinctual heuristic. A generalisation. Doesn't mean that it is right, but it is a part of our social reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 04:06 PM
2

I agree. I just think this place is the good one. Men's rights concern everybody, and keeping this place as a discussion platform seems to be the best in my mind. It doesn't mean that we can't create other private safe places for ourselves, though.
/r/MensRights25/03/25 04:01 PM
1

Because being right-wing is seen as manly and being left-wing is seen as womanly. Women tend to learn to be attracted to stereotypical manly guys, and men tend to be attracted to stereotypical girly women. Then, you get people being shocked when their long-term partner vote against their interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 08:47 AM
10

I'm thinking the reverse. It's by being open and welcoming that we show who are the ones that really are intolerant and tyranical. It's by being open to discussion and criticism that we show who is the one closed to it. Who is the echo chamber. Of course, we should protect members from hate, mockery, and abuse, though. But closing ourselves off would mean letting others demonise us even more and stopping us from reaching those who need to be reached.
/r/MensRights25/03/25 07:45 AM
0

The same could be said about most social studies. You're right, but it is probably as valid as many framing men as natural aggressors. They often don't take gender biases in account and are often badly interpreted. For example, "men are responsible for an enormous majority of violent crimes" is something that is often thrown around here. But the studies around it rely on official data on crime rates, which means that what is represented is the judgement outcomes of crimes, not the actes in thems…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 07:32 AM
2

This effect has been tested as 4.5 times stronger on women compared to men on average.
/r/MensRights23/03/25 04:34 PM
13

It's called the women are wonderful effect. Basically, people struggle to accept narratives where women are shown as worse than men and men as better than women in any subject, no matter the scientific backing behind it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect?wprov=sfla1
/r/MensRights22/03/25 07:24 AM
1

Men complain that women date bad boys repeatedly when they have plenty of other guys they can choose from. Men date whatever they can. If it's someone toxic, though luck. You don't have hundreds of other potential partners lined up when you're a guy. Adrenaline from toxic personality is very addictive though and I personally understand why people fall for it. But repeatedly falling for the same bad decisions again and again when you have plenty of other choices and then complain, "Why isn't ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:24 AM
5

From what I remember, men do put more importance in the physical attractiveness of their partner compared to women but have way lower standards when it comes to physical attractiveness. It means most men will find a lot of women extremely attractive, most of the remaining women attractive enough, and only a few women too ugly to date. While women will find only a very small number of men extremely attractive, a small part of guys attractive enough and a big part of men to ugly to date. But they …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 07:56 AM
2

Any arguments that touch to age gap and sexuality are completely void of any kind of rational thinking and scientific backing. People argue against it because it "feel" creepy to them. Not because they have rational arguments against it. And the deeper you dig, the more you learn how complex the problem is and why we can't just generalise rules around it. Different people grow at different speeds. Capacity to consent depends on knowledge and experience and isn't an on/off switch but a spectrum w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:22 AM
3

I mean, the exemple is a guy raping guys. This is becoming more acceptable to be a sexual abuse victim for men, and this is good. But it is seen as acceptable only if the aggressor is a man. People are still in denial at the idea of women abusing women, and I'm pretty sure we won't see any article anytime soon about a famous woman sexual assault victims.
/r/MensRights13/03/25 05:10 PM
1

Basically, traditional countries pivoting toward a more progressive mindset. Change is never perfect. Even positive one. Those who finalised their transition are comfortably absent from this list.
/r/MensRights07/03/25 08:53 AM
3

That's a fair point. My framing might be wrong here. And, yes, there is a tendency of people being dismissive of women's experiences when it comes to this. I'd argue that there is the same tendency toward men experiences on the subject, though. Maybe that's more of a generalised tendency to dismiss any negative experience the other gender has when it paints our own in a bad light? Which often happens by design in subjects as intertwined as dating? Playing "Who has it worse" might not be the smar…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 12:45 PM
3

Maybe you're right. Maybe you're also wrong. I don't see women who do suffer from crippling loneliness and rejection, wish they had more of it, nor do I see men wildly successful in dating and receiving constant sexual interest, wish they had less of it. There are always inherent differences that we can't see, but the tendency I do see is that people who receive this attention don't seem to suffer as much as the ones who don't. If you have a lot of money, more people will want to rob you and use…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 11:18 AM
3

I said this in another comment, but I've been abused by both women and men. The difference is a lot smaller than you think. I'll take the experiences of some friends of mine as I believe this fits better here. Both were guys. One was more of the skiny sensitive type. The other was a big martial art fanatic. Both were stabbed by their girlfriends when they broke up with them. Both ended in the hospital. It's easy to think guys are so much more dangerous and powerful than women, but anybody who kn…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 08:34 AM
4

My personal worth is only for me to judge. Other people's appreciation of me can make me feel good or worthless, but that's not something I control. There is a difference between feeling worthless and thinking you are and people can make you feel good or bad regardless of the reasons they have behind it. What's more, I know gay guys. For a lot of them, casyal sex is fun, and this doesn't mean that they are closed to the idea of relationship with the people they have sex with. In fact, trying to …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 08:12 AM
1

I mean, commercials rarely tell you much about the real quality of the product.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:59 AM
1

I'm not saying women should be the only ones fighting this problem. I'm confused why you keep insisting on that when it's not something that I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 09:59 PM
3

"Men need to solve their problems themselves" is what people always say when it comes to men's problems. When a guy has a problem, since his birth, he's told to solve it alone. So he does. He tries to solve everything alone. And when another man talks about his problems, he says the same thing to him. The problem with gender roles is that it's never only one gender promoting them. You just did. By saying men should solve their problems themselves. Women's problems are seen as a societal responsi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:11 PM
2

Same as for men toward each other. Reach out to guys around you. Not to date but to bound. Create human connections and fight isolation. That's something we should all do with each other's. We often talk about male loneliness, but there are lonely women too. It can even be harder for them as people see it as easy for them to get out of it just because of their gender. We should reach out to them, too. That's my solution. To promote reaching out to others and develop a healthier sense of communit…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 06:26 PM
1

If it was only the holes, they would pay for it and be done with it. It's the emotional connection that they can't get outside of relationships that cause damages. Women often have strong emotional connections even outside of relationships. Men don't. Men don't have it as bad as women forced to sell their body. That's obvious. But they do face levels of lonliness and desperation in their life that women just don't deal with. And it's not only because they don't open up to each other enough. Thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 06:03 PM
9

I did go out with some women who abused me mentally. I was abused physically by some women before that I was abused sexually by some women before that too. And I was sexually abused by some gay guys. So, yes, I know how this feels. People are shitty. It's not an excuse to start being shitty to others, though. A few of those people were also abused, and I'm sorry for them. I'm not religious, but I deeply believe in forgiveness. It's the only way to stop the cycles of pain and move on for me. We t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 05:26 PM
0

You missed the point. I'm not using this film as proof. I'm saying that desperation has driven people to do things way worse. How many women went into prostitution exactly because of this? Because they were starving? To take your exemple, many of them did just that. That's not a film. That's reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 05:08 PM
1

If you like Tarantino's movies, you should. Anyway, the point was that, yes, many would eat dick cheese if they were starving.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 04:59 PM
7

I mean, i wouldn't date either, but I'm fine with the attention of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 04:33 PM
1

Ever watched the Hateful Eights?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 04:31 PM
2

Honestly, because it's harder to step out of the norm in comparison to blaming others and because blaming people who are essentially living the same things as you doesn't feel great. But, women aren't completely innocent either. They do have a tendency to alienate men outside of relationships, too. Going out of our comfort zone never feels great no matter if you're a guy or a girl, and blaming the other side is a lot easier. It doesn't solve problems, though, and leaving the responsibility to so…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 04:30 PM
8

Not when you're starving. Stress cause people to privilege short-term strategies over long-term ones. It means that disgust stops working when you're starving as it's better to survive now and be sick rather than not be sick and die of starvation. And evolution treats reproductive behaviour like coupling on the same level as life-threatening ones. On an evolutionary perspective, it's better to have passed your genes once and then die than live a long, happy life and never have reproduced. Though…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 04:18 PM
11

I'm quite fine with both, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:59 PM
1

The image is pretty funny. I'm not gonna lie. That's also a thing. Being the most attractive guy in a group puts emphasis on your attractiveness, which makes you look even better than you would alone. And the incels would look better as a group, even more in one with an attractive guy, compared to alone too. That's a win-win on a strategical standpoint. But you do whatever you want. It's just what's been observed, not a law.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 08:51 AM
1

Dating apps nowadays are built around this problem, though. They give a score to profiles which go down with each profile you like that doesn't like you back effectively, shadow banning masse swipers. Though, an advantage women have is also to be able to have deep emotional connections outside relationships. Men don't have that, which means that their desperation is also a desperation for basic human connections. Not only a lack of relationship one.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 08:46 AM
1

Actually, it's been shown that men appear more attractive as a group on average. Many things seem to indicate that pack hunting would be the best strategy for men in general on the dating scene instead of each trying to flirt alone. It's also an advantage women tend to use more than men using group dynamics and networking to pick the best possible mate for themselves and push back undesirable instead of just trying their luck alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 08:42 AM
5

Men have less quantity and quality, though. Quality is a luxury many men can't afford.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 08:38 AM
44

I went to see what grindr was about once. I immediately experienced how it was to receive waves of horny men I wasn't attracted to messaging me. Yeah, feeling like a piece of meat isn't that great, but, honestly? Felt way better than the crippling sense of worthlessness you feel on the straight male dating side. I know that getting that every day must be tiring, but first, not every woman experiences that. I've read enough post saying "Men don't approach me! What am I doing wrong!?" To realise t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 08:20 AM
20

All food tastes great if you're starving. Men don't get affection outside of relationships, so they suffer a lot more from their lack of them. Sure, only drinking friendly fruit juice for your every meal isn't great, but you aren't starving. Men don't have access to that. So women can still feel disgust while men end up happy with the mouldiest bread you've ever seen. Until they end up satiated for a bit and see what it really is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 08:05 AM
1

I strongly disagree with that. Men are humans. They want to understand and be understood by their partner as much as everyone else and are ready to learn to do this. People underestimate how hard it is to learn new communication styles, though, as we learned ours through our life and they come instinctively to us. And communications problems in relationships aren't only caused by men. Both men and women learn different communication styles growing up, and the differences are what causes miscommu…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 07:37 AM
1

Let's start by making things clear about what we each need, what we want, what we dislike, and what our limits are. Relationships can work and make people feel fulfilled if the needs are met and the limits respected even if it's not all that we want and there are things we dislike in them. Each time, we say no to a relationship because there was something we didn't like but could have done with or because there wasn't something we wanted but could have done without, the gap become bigger. That's…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:53 PM
0

Gender roles become toxic when they get priority over basic human decency. If you treat anyone badly because you're a guy/girl, you're toxic. Thus, there is toxic masculinity and toxic feminity. But, if your gender role is making you try harder to make things better around you, try to better yourself and treat others with respect no matter their gender, then it's positive a positive force in your life. Thus, there also exists positive masculinity and positive feminity.
/r/MensRights03/03/25 05:23 PM
4

That's just reality at some point, though. If only 5% of guys are looking for the same thing as you and most women want the same kind of thing as you, nearly everybody is cooked. Most guys won't find the woman they seek, and most girls won't find the man they seek. Either we accept to have 95% of people die alone, or we try to create bridges between all of our needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 11:03 PM
6

I had the same experience from the guy side. I just think a lot of people are boring to be fair regardless of gender. Still, it's better to have a lot of boring people interested in you with a few occasional interesting people than to have mostly nobody interested in you with a few occasional boring profiles.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:58 PM
10

Is it? I mean, choosing people before talking with them is physical atraction based, but it doesn't mean people will stop at this. Physical and sexual attraction are just always the start, and long-term planning comes after you've talked and interacted enough to know you want to spend your life with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 10:55 PM
1

I'd argue that giving a chance to people you wouldn't have normally considered because they show healthy behaviour is as important as cutting those showing toxic behaviour out. If you only run away from more and more people as you accumulate bad experiences, you end up running away from dating altogether. That's why seeking new, different people is as important as cutting toxic people for me. It's about balance, and this applies to all genders in my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 04:29 PM
1

People say "raise" or "lower" standards like if it was a linear thing that could only go one way or another. Shouldn't it be "different" standards instead? I'm all for women being independent, taking care of themselves, and avoiding abusive behaviour. But if it's just adding more filters instead of seeking new kind of people who they might not have looked for before, it doesn't solve the core issue. It only makes it even harder for them to find someone who fit all their standards and limit their…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 04:25 PM
3

It's adrenaline. Women want a stable long-term partner in theory, but the ones that make them feel the butterflies of the suspended bridge effect, the ones that stand out and make them feel alive, are the ones that don't care about long-term but only short-term gratification. What's more, abusive and manipulative behaviours works. That's why people do them. Being pushy, gazlighting someone by repeating she likes and is only playing hard to get, not asking before doing works. Fawn is one of the 4…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 09:56 AM
2

Personally, I saw that in one random study on some psychology sub or something. It's important to keep a lot of distance with social studies in general as they are extremely sensitive to sociocultural biases on multiple levels. How people behave are shaped by sociocultural biases, what they accept and perceive about themselves are shaped by sociocultural biases, and what they accept and perceive about others are shaped by sociocultural biases. Like what was discovered about male victims of sexua…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 09:09 AM
3

This. It's a gender role and cultural pressure thing. It's not an innate unchanging reality. That's something that needs to be kept in mind. People are shaped into these differences by their sociocultural environment. They are not inherently like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:55 AM
9

Knowing and accepting are two different things, though. You can know something and refuse to accept it, usually because it makes you feel bad. Women can have a bigger tendency to do this because of the difference in sociocultural pressure around them and men. Men are usually taught to face harsh realities and to be rational even if it means pushing down their emotions (which can cause a whole other set of problems). Women are usually taught to be emotional and sensible. They are expected to chee…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:52 AM
8

I mean, men do this for the average woman. It's a selection difference. And the tendency people have to either openly or subvertly shame women's sexuality push them to be even more selective in their partners, pushing the bar even higher. By saying that women only fuck X you don't encourage them to try other categories of men you discourage them from being sexual with X and to be less sexual in general. That's for some of them because, on the other way, saying that women only fuck X subvertly al…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:45 AM
32

There are big levels of denials amongst some people here. People struggle to hear anything that might put women in a bad light even more so if it's told by a man. People will assume different intentions, even if you say the same thing, depending on your gender which makes it a lot harder for some to be heard.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:27 AM
12

Trying grindr once opened my eyes to this.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:21 AM
-2

I don't know. It may be harder than just asking and being flooded by money, but it still seems pretty easy to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 03:00 PM
5

I once had this same experience with a gay guy who wanted me to humiliate him in exchange for money and also never paid. I don't know how I feel knowing that it's not an isolated case.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 02:58 PM
1

The ratio of men per women that I heard says that men hated high earning women are around 1 guy for every 5 women. Not saying no guy thinks that, but the proportions are very much overblown. Men don't care about women financial status because they don't base their love on socioeconomic status. They would very much prefer to be poor in a loving relationship than rich in a fake one. And that's the thing with divorces. They want to keep their money because it was never part of the relationship to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 02:24 PM
2

In your preys bank account. You're going to have to go hunting to get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:46 AM
3

If you want to make easy money, search "findom" which literally means "financial domination". Basically, guys who get sexually aroused by being taken advantage of financially by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:42 AM
–

That's the thing. There is not a penury of these women here. They just live in a world where they have better living conditions and where your money is worth less. Thus, they have less incentive to force themselves to date you to better their situation. So you go seek those who have a bigger incentive to force themselves to date you as a way to better their condition. Force themselves is the concept that isn't really moral.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 05:21 PM
–

You don't understand my point. It's not the women there who are better. It's the women there who are proportionally poorer. Meaning you'd get the same here if you were wealthier. It's like moving your company to another country because you have to pay employees less there with less workers protection then saying you wouldn't do this if employees here accepted lower salaries and to work in worst conditions, ignoring the difference in the cost of life and their wellbeing. Make sense, but it sure i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 05:03 PM
–

So it is money, the principal factor. Not culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 04:40 PM
0

Ones makes you feel alive even if it hurts. The other one can easily be replaced by a pet. It's not fair, but that's how drugs work. Responsible reality suck most of the time, so you choose drugs to escape it even if you regret it later. But nobody says drugs are good and normal life is bad. They just hide their addiction with a front of fake responsibility and morals and tell others to not do them and to be responsible. My drug is caffeine personally. For some, it's videogames. For others, it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 08:27 AM
3

I was until i went into burnout. Then, you realise the woman in your life is here for the money and glory more than for you. Doesn't help a lot of those women also don't want to cook or do house chores, not even help with them, and expect to be treated like Queens because they think "They deserve it" for existing. Buy a life sized sex doll. It's cheaper, less annoying and more human than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 08:13 AM
–

Can poor men also do that? Assuming they can travel. If the answer is no, that's not because the difference in culture women date passportbro. It's because of the difference in money standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 07:41 AM
1

People can use anything badly and abusively. Differences in communications styles are a real issue a lot of couples struggle with. The love language idea is overly simplistic, but everybody gets it. It's useful to introduce people to the problem and give them a start at finding solutions for it. Pressuring spouses into sex is horrible but also something people tend to do because they are unable to communicate properly about an issue they have. Sexual insatisfaction might be one of them, but when…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 09:11 AM
1

Kinda. More like an extremely caricatural depiction of interpersonal relationships. It has the advantage of being simple and easy to understand, though, which means it can show a lot of people were to begin when it comes to solving communication problems regarding intimacy. It's not gonna solve everything by itself, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 08:58 AM
2

And what if, even after doing all this, he's still not considered as a good enough partner he meets? Those are means to increase the odds. Not a fail proof plan reality has to abide by. Yet, it is sold as such. "Just do this, and you'll find someone." But, often, it is just not true. Often, you won't find someone doing those. Then, you'll feel lied to. Those people become bitter and disillusioned. What about them? Are they just the ones we can't do anything about? The ones condemn to being rejec…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 08:54 AM
1

People are forgetting a big part of relationships nowadays. It's the "relationship" part. The part where you actually try to bond with people. Not get in their pants. Not get a sugar daddy. Not create an economical partnership in the hope of popping babies. Just bonding, learning about each other, living adventures together, and creating memories. People in dating nowadays want to go directly to their end goal with what is basically still a stranger. Then, when it doesn't work, they blame others…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 08:41 AM
2

At this point of cold calculations, why even be in a relationship? It will be cheaper in time and money to just hire escorts, and you'll get more for your investment. Want some kids? Pay a surrogate. If it isn't to emotionally connect with and trust someone else, relationships are worthless.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:34 PM
1

Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 07:52 PM
1

My proof of what? I'm talking about people who exist, not all feminists nor all women. Some people do think that. It doesn't mean all think this but not calling out those who do is letting them talk in the name of those who don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 04:07 PM
1

If those were a minority, propaganda wouldn't be as effective as it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 05:48 PM
1

There are always people who get radicalised. I was not only talking about women, however. More and more men are getting radicalised because they perceive feminism as hypocrit because those people are left to say whatever in the name of feminism and fall into radicalisation.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:10 PM
1

That's the thing. How many of these women also call themselves feminists?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:05 PM
0

You're right. I may have been exaggerating things when I said "the biggest"
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:03 PM
1

Some told me this to my face. How many think men accused of rape should be punished on accusations alone?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:02 PM
1

The problem is, how many stop calling themselves feminists because of the perceived hypocrisy? If people genuinely caring about gender equality leave feminism, it makes them problem worse. It leaves only people who don't care about gender equality fighting in its name, and that's a big problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:51 AM
1

I agree with you, but I think there is a rise of misandrist attitude motivated by "feminists" that just don't understand the theory behind gender dynamics. People who see all women as victims and all men as aggressors without understanding that this very thought is caused by the effects of the same genders biases that were once fought against by feminists. And that's a very big threat as those people propagate these ideas in the name feminism making people associate those ideas as what feminism …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:48 AM
1

It's interesting because other users here have used this as an example of toxic feminism that is being called out more and more. But the fact that you're saying that you're not seeing the same thing kind of loop back to what I'm saying then. It seems there is some calling out in feminist space, but it fails to be done openly enough for others to perceive it, and it is bad for feminism's representation.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:38 AM
0

You're right. The idea that feminism is disappearing and becoming a standard is a complete possibility, and I wish it to happen. But, gender biases are far from gone, though. And gender conflicts are getting worse those last few years. It still has a role to play and shouldn't be forgotten or distorted into an abusive ideology by those who don't understand it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:34 AM
1

Did you see the last elections? The fact that abortion rights is being pushed back?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:26 AM
0

That demography of women will still interact with others even if I don't and show a misshapen representation of feminism which will help radicalise others against women's rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:24 AM
1

Gender biases is a factor of why. It affects everybody, which is why results are replicable. One thing people misunderstand about gender biases, though, is that it doesn't only change people's perceptions of one gender. It also changes one gender perception of itself and, thus, its behaviour. I think that's what you're talking about here. Not every difference is an illusion, but gender biases both can worsen the perception we have of one gender but also worsen the general behaviour of said gende…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:19 AM
3

Sorry, I just saw that I misread your comment, so here is a new response. Are most feminist groups in support of selective service for women? That's the first time I hear about it and I find conflicting informations on the subject. Apparently, some are, but others are opposed to it, and I can't seem to find any hard data on the percentage for or against.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:47 PM
2

This has been given as an exemple multiple times here, and I agree. It is a good counter-exemple to what I'm saying as it has been called out.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:29 PM
1

I mean, there was a time I would have agreed with you, but recent political events does make me worried of just how many people are turning against feminism and while other threats are obvious this one is often overlooked.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:26 PM
3

I completely agree, and I really hope things will stabilise in the future. We could try to get people behind egalitarianism again instead of dividing the fight depending on gender? That might be a start toward a united front.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:24 PM
4

You're right. It is the kind of thing I was trying to talk about but on the feminists side.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:17 PM
3

Thank you for the compliment. I still sometimes struggle to find the best way to say things in English. That's true. Like, most things feel natural, but I stumble upon rough phrasing here and there.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:14 PM
2

People will still hear someone calling themselves a feminist and saying things. They will associate those things with feminism if feminists don't react. And, thus, not reacting is letting those people define what feminism is for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:52 PM
2

First, all the logical fallacies you cited only exist because you turned me talking about some feminists saying some things while meaning others as if I talked about all feminists saying those things. It isn't the case. The generalisation about it being the biggest threat was to put emphasis on the problem, but, I admit, who can say what is the biggest threat? Second, present your view of the situation? With no alternatives, a flawed premise will still be the only narrative in the debate, and pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:49 PM
6

Touché. French is my first language. Sorry if I'm miscommunicating some things.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:40 PM
1

Okay, then you take responsibility for my friend who was raped by a woman? The one who was stabbed by a woman? The multiple women that have gropped me and forcibly kissed me during my life? And every other abuse women have done to others around the world? How will you take responsibility?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:38 PM
1

What matters is not letting people talk in your name while saying things that don't aline with what you believe. When people present themselves as feminists and say publicly things that don't aline with feminism other feminism have a duty to react as silence is letting this person define what feminism is for people hearing them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:35 PM
2

Honestly, yeah, I understand your opinion better if that's the discourse you came across here. I'm personally seeing more people talking about feminism in terms of double standards like, "men have to go to war but not women, so where is the equality?" or "In case of divorces women get more often the gard of children compared to men and men gets harsher sentencing for similar criminals act but feminists dont care about their issues but want me to care about theirs. Why should I?" And, I'll be hon…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:27 PM
7

I think I might have miscommunicated something in my post because that's something multiple people seem to have understood. I'm not thinking feminism or feminists are the problem, but rather, like you said, people amongst everyone. The point I was trying to say was more than, when those people also happen to call themselves feminists, not calling those double standards out is letting them talk in the name of feminism and misrepresenting what even is feminism. And I see more and more people assoc…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:16 PM
1

I see your point, and I half agree and half disagree. There are problems with some feminist theoretical frameworks as it doesn't always differentiate between philosophy/ideology and science. There are solid studies around gender disparities that we can trust, but the ideology built around it doesn't always follow scientific thoughts and can go into misinterpretation of the core material. For exemple, we know gender biases influence data gathering by influencing people perceptions of themselves a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:08 PM
1

And I'm saying misrepresentating feminism is a threat for it because it justifies hates against it from the misinformation it spread. And, are you taking responsibility for every crime, rape, and violence done by every women accrosse the world ? No ? Then asking from modern men to take responsibility outside fighting for equality for acts they didn't do is abusive. Fighting systemic inequalities, yes. Giving up societal advantages, yes. Taking responsibilities for other people actions, no. Not i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:56 PM
2

Yet I'm sure that if you ask on a feminist sub if hate against all men should be condemned, you'll find people saying yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:35 PM
3

I mean women here that say those things. I have literally no idea what goes on in echo chambers, and that's not where it matters. It matters when it is said outside of echo chambers and not called out.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:34 PM
1

You missed my point. Women calling themselves feminists even when they aren't and communicating in the names of others in casual life is the danger I'm talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:32 PM
2

My argument was that the discourse of those people, the beliefs in inequalities of treatment, and the fact that this discourse wasn't called out was a threat to feminism. Women can make any choice they want for their personal life, but when it comes to communicating toxic beliefs that go against what they pretend to be, they have to be held accountable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:30 PM
2

Still not my argument. But if you know what I was trying to say better than me, what can I say.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:19 PM
1

Those in my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:16 PM
1

So, I don't know if you can see my other comment, but apparently, there are some rules on how to share reddit links here that got it deleted. I found a few examples I'm going to copy here. It was from a random post that showed up on Google when I searched "feminists that believe women should be treated like queens" " I personally hate heterosexual relationships and heteronormativity but if we are talking about cis men and cis women in general : I personally think the woman is the prize in the re…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:15 PM
2

I don't want you to cather to them, I want you to call out people talking in your stead in the name of feminism, misrepresenting it and pushing people to hate you because they believe you and all feminists agree. Maybe you're already doing it, and that's great, but I'm not seeing many people doing it personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:08 PM
4

Great, I agree with all that you just said. Still not what I'm denouncing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:05 PM
2

I want to protect your rights. And I'm saying to you that making more enemies is a threat to your rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:56 PM
3

Maybe I just don't see the calling out. That's true. I do think you're underestimating people casually advocating for those, though. They aren't frontal about it, but they get out whenever those themes are brought up around here. And those who agree with every point I cited are rare, but many more may believe in one or two of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:55 PM
8

I never said women not choosing men was. Two different arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:51 PM
2

You may be right, and that's true that I don't perceive much of what's going on in the latest generation of feminists. Maybe things are changing for the better. I personally hope so.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:50 PM
8

You're right. It was presumptuous of me to have called them "the biggest threat to feminism". But I do think it is an often overlooked one that is a lot more dangerous than what people think.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:48 PM
2

When men say misogynistic things, they are called out on the spot. They are called misogynistic or incels or any other things. They are held accountable for their statements. How many women aren't? How many say the most heinous things in the name of feminism and are never called out? Many.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:46 PM
2

I'm not crusading against feminism. I'm crusading against bad actors amongst them for feminism. The Internet and social media have existed for a while before the last ten years' rise in men's radicalisation, though. And, even with this, listen to the discourse of those men. The hypocrisy is always the first thing they latch unto. Not blind beliefs. Experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:41 PM
2

This sub is literally explaining that there are different movements amongst feminism fighting for different things. What here is making you disagree?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:38 PM
5

Once again. That's not the life choices I'm denouncing here. That's the discourse.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:36 PM
3

To be clear. You want evidences for the existence of women saying those types of things?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:35 PM
3

You're great if you don't let the words of horrible men here forge your views of men in general. Most people do let those build their general views of men, though, or at least influence them. That's why it's important to hold them accountable. To ascertain not all men think that way. It is as important to do so with women. Because, if you don't, you're letting them define who you are to others in your stand.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:30 PM
6

More and more men misunderstand feminism because feminists let any woman say anything in the name of feminism and never hold them accountable. That's not feminism that is bad. That's people who don't understand it, like you say. I'm all for treating people well personally. I'm not for one side having to treat the other better than the other have to treat them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:27 PM
1

It's your right. I have no problems with that and not what I'm talking about here.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:23 PM
3

And there are more and more anti-femist because feminists don't hold the hypocrits amongst them accountable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:19 PM
0

Okay. And you give absolutely no argument back against what I was saying. You basically said, "This is a bad" and didn't offer any other possible view of the subject. You also don't seem to do the difference between talking about specific groups of individuals instead thinking I'm describing feminist ideology when I'm talking about individual behaviour discrediting this very ideology. You could have asked me to clarify some points and actually add something to the discussion, but instead, you pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:17 PM
1

There are very much women calling themselves "feminists" that shame other women over who they fuck. The problem is that nobody is holding them accountable, and it shows because now they are as much associated with the word "feminism" than the true activists.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:07 PM
1

Israel as an obligatory military service for women (though a bit shorter than for men). This is what feminism should strive for. To show women capability. To have women take responsibility. And the people I'm denouncing here are the ones that hate that idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:05 PM
3

Okay. Fair. I'd love to see your data about women's standing up against other women. Here are some about why people, particularly women (5 times more), have troubles accepting data showing women under a bad light and worse than men in some categories. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjop.12580 https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ijop.13101
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:03 PM
1

Yes. Women should be protected from abusive men. Not the problem I'm addressing here. The problem I'm talking about is women who consider the way to protect women are by considering all men guilty until proven otherwise whilst women should be considered innocent until proven otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:57 PM
4

Yes. Women should be protected from abusive men. Not the problem I'm addressing here. The problem is that women who consider the way to protect women are by considering all men guilty until proven otherwise whilst women should be considered innocent until proven otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:57 PM
12

The generalisations are propagated by both men and women. Women often aren't holden accountable for theirs, though, and this difference in treatment is what kills feminism's credibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:53 PM
10

I see where you're coming from, and I'll be very clear. There are ten times more men who hate feminism because they were abused physically, emotionally, or sexually by women that there are men hating feminism because they want to go back to the past social order. Because those men weren't believed. Were mocked. Were ignored.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:51 PM
3

That's the thing. Why are men's misogyny and radicalisation on the rise? Why are modern men starting to think more and more that feminism is evil? That's because feminism is losing in credibility. Because nobody hold people calling themselves feminists accountable for doing the opposite of what feminism is all about. Because men are seeing those people acting in abusive ways under the flag of feminism and associate the terms with those behaviours.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:45 PM
5

Okay, you're right, I didn't give violent enough examples. Women sexually assaulting men because they can't be raped in their beliefs. Women physically abusing men because men are stronger, so it is justified in their mind. Women mocking men physics because it isn't a big deal and they should "suck it up" from their perspective. Women mocking other women as "easy and cheap" because they have multiple sexual parteners. Women mocking other women because they win more than their boyfriends. A lot o…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:40 PM
5

I disagree, but I would love to see the historical sources that motivated this opinion in you. I do agree that the average man today doesn't aline with what a lot of moderne "feminists" consider to be the average man however.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:28 PM
1

They are the "modern feminism" you're talking about. Traditional feminism is the victim of this threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:25 PM
2

It wasn't always biased, full of baggage and bad actors. It's more of a recent development now that it became an acceptable ideology. Now, people use the name often more for social credits than real adherence or understanding of the ideology and it shows.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:24 PM
4

Basically, some people believe protecting women goes through reforms and education around women's abuse, while others think men are innately dangerous for women and that it means they can be no solutions in equal treatments. Both say "women need to be protected" but the meaning behind this phrase is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:21 PM
6

The problem is that it's not the lifestyle choice that is an issue. It's the communication behind it. It's the hypocrisy in wanting tradition for some things and not others. It's calling yourself a feminist while not promoting egauality. It's helping to destroy the perception society has of women's rights activists. What people choose for their life is their own issues, but a men's rights activist that actively reinforce views that hurt men's rights is as much as a problem as to who I'm talking …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:15 PM
2

And yet, political rights protecting women are fought back against today and even cancelled in some areas, and this is, in part, pushed by people who associate feminism with hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:07 PM
1

What does this mean? It means some people use the first phrase while meaning the last Who is arguing for women to be protected from men? In this context, women who claim to be feminists while carrying ideals full of positive misogyny How and in what context? The way I described in any context where they can place those talking points Do you have any examples of this? Someone open about it? No. It is more of a reframing of their discourse.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:02 PM
5

Traditionally. The symbolic marriage was a way to create relationships and alliances between two families, strengthening both. The legal marriage was a way to assure succession and give the wife enough to live once his husband died or after a divorce as she didn't work. Nowadays. The symbolic marriage is just a show of love and promise of fidelity between two people. The legal one while still having a succession aspect for children is mostly obsolete. It is, like you said, mostly used as a contr…
/r/MensRights13/02/25 08:52 AM
1

I mean, yes, it is unfair, but trying to pass a forced military conscription law for women, which is often a highly controversial policy in the middle of a war with the whole country survival at stake, isn't a good idea. I'm from Switzerland, a country with mandatory military service for men only. When I see the shit show the question of making it mandatory for women too bring here and this with with 200 years of peace beind us, I shudder at the idea of what might happen if Ukraine tried to do t…
/r/MensRights12/02/25 12:12 PM
4

Because most isn't all, and observable tendencies exist as much as outliers.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 09:54 PM
1

Is your priority having a child or spending your life with your husband? If it is having a child, your husband main role is to be a tool for you to realise this objectif. If it is spending your life with your husband, then having a child is an adventure you're planning together and not the main focus of your life. That's what is shallow with how many women see relationships. They see their partner as a tool to obtain what they want instead of seeing the future they might have with their partner …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:38 PM
2

The problem isn't feminism as a whole. Some feminists, though rare, understand the issue. But a big part of today's feminism is built upon the feeling that addressing misandry will hurt women in the long run. It is even a studied phenomenon called "Women are wonderful effect" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect This, combined with all the "feminists" that don't even know what "gender bias" means, and just use the title to feel good about themselves breed much toxicity.
/r/MensRights07/02/25 09:51 AM
2

I agree with you. A lot of men believe that the solution to their lonliness is a woman's love when it isn't. It's great to hear that you're working in a nonprofit to help, and I sincerely thank you for your work. I don't think women are the biggest roadblock to men, creating healthier relationships. They themselves are the biggest roadblock. What I'm saying is that the tendency people have to let men deal with their problems alone is making things worse. Some women do act this way. They do say t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 06:20 PM
3

I've told you my experience with it. Women also make it complicated. You didn't give a counterargument to this, just that men also acted in ways that made it complicated, to which I agree. I told you how rejecting responsibility often cause problems regardless of with who really lies the responsibility. You didn't give a counterargument but just rejected responsibility unto men again. You're doing the very thing that isolates men right now, and I'm sure you feel justified in it. Doesn't change t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 03:15 PM
2

Sometimes, it's not about fixing. Sometimes, it's just about being there. Nobody is perfect. Nobody goes through life without a few wounds. Accepting each other's and being there to help with the pain when necessary is how we build "healthy" bounds. If you can't, if it's not healthy for you to do so, you're right, you shouldn't stay in the relationship. If you're just unwilling, though, if you just don't want to deal with other people's pain, you're just seeking someone who is hiding it. And it'…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 02:59 PM
2

When I say "we" I mean everybody. Nothing will change if men don't do anything. And I'm not talking about relationships and sex. I'm talking about genuine friendship and trust building. That's true. A lot of men default to "More sex will fix the hole in my heart". That's because sex is good at hiding emotional pain short-term and because they are taught that it's normal for men to want sex and abnormal to want emotional connections. But if women just let men to figure all this out alone, if they…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 02:19 PM
3

Thank you a lot. I'll do my best, and I hope you find or that you have already found happiness in your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 01:09 PM
3

And you're right to be sceptical toward that. I don't buy it either.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 12:41 PM
1

Catharsis from violence and power is a human thing. It isn't an excuse, though. Pleasure or release from emotional pain isn't an excuse for hurting others. There are other ways to manage those emotions, and choosing this one is a choice. It is choosing to cause someone else pain. Even if it's just "scaring them" it's traumatic. It isn't just an innocent thing that happens then is forgotten.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 12:36 PM
6

You're assuming men's and women's needs and/or desire for emotional support are equal. Humans adapt to situations, so it makes sense that men who grew in emotional scarcity end up needing less than women who grew in emotional abundance. But the difference between some and none is greater than the difference between plenty and average. Men rely more on the emotional support they get in their relationship even if they need less of it, while women might very much need a lot more of it because of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 12:21 PM
4

I agree. How do you find a wider support system as a guy when most guys just don't know how or actively refuse to emotionally connect with each other's? It's a societal problem that will take time to fix, but right now, a lot of guys are stuck with no other opportunities to connect. Right now, it isn't a choice for most guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 12:12 PM
4

I'm sorry this happened to you. I know a lot of guys tend to turn pain into anger, and it's not okay for them to behave this way. I'm not a guy who transforms pain in anger personally. Mine goes to depression. It means I don't seem emotional when I'm in pain even when I talk about it. But stuff becomes harder and harder to do. Chores start pilling up. More and more expectations are let down. And, no matter how much me and my past parteners talked, no matter the therapy and effort, their reaction…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 12:08 PM
6

The problem is that, as a guy, it's extremely hard to find other people to connect with emotionally, even if you're willing. It needs to be a two-way road, and it means other guys need to be open to it for it to be happening. A lot of guys also just don't know how to open up. Their mind goes blank because they never were taught this kind of socialising. Men live in a world of scarcity when it comes to emotional connections, and even if they are aware of the problem, they just often don't have th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 11:54 AM
13

From my experience, a lot of women tend to think in romanticised ways, in ideals, when it comes to themselves. They tell you who they want to be. How they want to perceive themselves instead of the true reality behind it. And women want to perceive themselves as kind and caring and here for their partner no matter what. But, when they are faced by a reality that doesn't aline with it, for exemple disliking their partener talking about his pain, they need to create a narrative that keep their sen…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 11:35 AM
13

From my experience, women love it when it happens sporadically for problems that aren't that big. When it comes to trauma, depression or real grief, when the pain doesn't go away from just having a shoulder to cry on, a lot of women tend to lose sight of the romanticised part of men crying. It then becomes a chores and a lot just leave to go seek someone who either isn't hurting or hide it very well. This, combined with the fact that men often just don't have a support system outside their relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 10:59 AM
0

People always forget to apply gender specific age preferences in those. Men tend to date younger while women tend to date older. It means there is a generational overlap. Young men will be less successful or litterally go into paedophilia territory and young women more successful. But, getting older, the tendency tends to reverse. Older men will be more successful than older women because ones pool of potential parteners increases while the other decreases. It's an oversimplification, but the te…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 10:13 AM
11

Personal experience. You notice the change in attitude towards you between the before and after quite clearly. Women tend to say a lot of things talking about personal ideals. The idea of virginity isn't what's unattractive to them. The idea of someone with no experience unsure of what his doing with, therefore, no confidence about this subject, is. It's about correlated characteristics. It also often means someone who didn't have any success until now, which raise the question of why in their m…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 05:34 PM
–

Evolving technology and environments shaped human relationships. Not the reverse. We are evolving toward new styles of relationships best adapted to the current technological and societal development. Even if we were, in fact, going back to hunter-gatherer lifestyles, it would mean healthier diets, more free time, and stronger communities and relationships. A lot of today's suffering is because of technology progressing faster than humans' adaptation capacity can manage. Is it better to live in …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 05:22 PM
15

Scepticism is healthy. It's good to be sceptical of what you have been taught and question others' intentions. If you don't, toxic people's will take advantage of you. Generalisations aren't healthy. There are as many women that were used and abused by toxic men than the reverse. Not all women want abuse you. Not all women are egotistical narcissists who only aim for the top 10% men. Some are. Some are the opposite. That's the problem with the red pill. It prones gender scepticism and cynicism t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 08:16 PM
2

From my understanding, even though it isn't as strong as the rise in men lonliness, there is an observable increase in women's lonliness, too. Women have stronger support groups and aren't shamed for being emotional or having emotional intimacy with each other's. It makes a HUGE difference.
/r/MensRights02/02/25 07:07 PM
–

You shouldn't do anything you aren't comfortable with. On the other hand, you shouldn't stop yourself from doing things you want to do and are comfortable doing just because men tell you you shouldn't. All my long-term relationships started with sex on the first date. I'm literally the reverse of what those men tell you others are. Someone playing games and "hard to get" just makes me feel like an option instead of someone she's really trying to build a connection with, and I don't like it. In m…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 06:54 PM
–

So nothing. Great.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:39 PM
–

You may know what you met but what you said stay what you said. What I said wasn't bullshit and I sent the study where it is from. If you don't agree, faire enough. What I said still agree and build upon what you said though.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:37 PM
–

That's what I'm saying. And people still care about women's rights. So, not caring about men's rights because "women have it worse" isn't a good argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:18 PM
–

Yes. I don't usually send studies I didn't read to others. What is your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:15 PM
–

But they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:08 PM
–

Well in America, racism against black people is worth than misogyny. Does it mean that we have to disregard misogyny or say "black people have it worse" each time we talk about women's issues? No. But people will do this when people talk about men's issues because men issues are seen as taking attention away from women's issues, harming them. It isn't the case though.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 06:01 PM
–

I wasn't challenging your point. I was saying that perception of harm wasn't always equal to actual harm and that narratives painting women in a bad light and men in a better light than women have been researched as being perceived as harmful to women regardless of the validity of this perception. People also often try to push back and censor these narratives arbitrarly for these reasons. Our points complete each other's.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:53 PM
–

It's true, but sex might very much just be the issue men feel okay with having and thus project all their feeling unto it. It's hard for men to accept feeling vulnerable or weak. Sex is seen as both something men normally want and whose acquisition doesn't depend on them. For a guy, suffering because of his sexual needs is easier to accept than suffering because of his emotional needs. Guys are isolated much more than women. They want connections, but many don't know how to understand this part …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:46 PM
–

It makes sense because narrative painting women in a bad light or men in a better light than women are often interpreted as harming women regardless of the content, validity, or legitimacy of the narrative https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjop.12580
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:36 PM
1

The truth is that flaws are just the excuse they tell you and themselves about why they won't date you. Most women seek a feeling. Not something rational. Even if they don't accept it themselves, it's the people who will make their dopamine level rise that end up winning them. It means that you need to give them an adventure. Something to kick start their curiosity and make them feel good. That's why you'll see some of the worst people possible sometimes get extreme success. It's because it's ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 05:54 PM
3

Teens aren't supposed to be responsible for their actions. Their pregnancy is the failure of adults in their life. For adult idiots, calling them idiots is excusing them as it implies they weren't capable of being smart. It is more often because of conscious irresponsibility when it comes to adults. Because they consciously took a risk while knowingly not being able to deal with the potential consequences, hoping there wouldn't be any. But it is hard to know, isn't it? Who is knowingly irrespons…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 09:06 PM
3

I see your point of view. However, things like frontal lobe damages (like what often happens in car accidents) have been shown to cause loss of self-control and sometimes hypersexuallity. It is a reality that you can, one day, with no fault of your own, have another car collide with yours and end up not controlling your actions and trying to have sex with as much people as possible. It is a rare occurrence, but it happens, and there are other health situations that can cause similar problems. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 08:38 PM
1

Honestly, why not? You could even tie them preventively for everybody and untie them only for people who showed they were responsible enough to have kids. This solves the problem entirely. Irresponsible people can keep fucking without a care in the world and only responsible people end up reproducing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 08:19 PM
3

Okay, we just aren't seeing the same reality. It happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 07:42 PM
4

I believe different people can have very different capacities. Agency depends on capacity, so different people have different levels of agency. In the same way, mentally disabled people can be considered incapable of having agency legally. It's not an on/off switch. It's a spectrum. At on end you have those who have nearly no capacity. On the other end, those who have nearly full capacities. And in the middle of the bell curve, most people who have shitty capacities make as much dumb decisions a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 06:53 PM
4

It was true when it was possible to feed and shelter comfortably a big family on one salary and that nobody cared about how you raised or abused your children. Now, children mean a lot more responsibility and loss of living standards with nearly no time to spend with them. The cost/gain ratio was broken a long time ago, and that's why families have fewer and fewer children on average. But the cost/gain ratio doesn't apply to people who don't think about it. It limits only the number of children …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 06:47 PM
13

Not in case of rape. Not if you don't have adequate sexual education. Not if you have psychological troubles, destroying your self-control, your perception of reality, or making you hypersexual. Not if you're stupid. This means those people will be the ones becoming parents. This also means that those genes will be the ones that will propagate the most.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 05:36 PM
7

It's relaxing. People just hanging out for fun without stress or judgment. People who have similar experiences with life. Who are looked at the same way and have the same expectations burden them. Honestly, give people this, food, and shelter, and it's sufficient to have a happy life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:06 AM
2

Women are taught that their values depend on how attractive they are to others. So, when others aren't attracted to them, it makes them feel like failures. At the same time, women being "easy" and having a lot of past sexual experience is badly seen. So, the optimal way for women to feel valorised is to have many people chase them while they refuse. But, when guys break friendship with them because they're interested and the girl isn't returning this interest, it makes them feel like the friends…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 10:49 AM
1

There is a fetish for everything out there, even for people that are unattractive. But, when the number of unattractive people vastly outweigh the number of people who are specifically atracted to unattractive people, it's less about someone being able to love you and more about finding one that haven't already found more than enough parteners for their whole life. Paradoxically, being so unattractive that your part of a group of very few people might make it easier to find someone as scarcity c…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:07 PM
2

I'd like to be right in the middle. Safe enough to build a life with, risky enough to make life fun. But it's also maybe because I'm too sensible to be the risky choice and too ADHD to be the stable choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 08:52 AM
1

That's literally the opposite of what I want. Women tend to be so focused on either finding "the one" or avoiding being taken advantage of that they refuse any experience that doesn't seem perfect from all angle at first. Because nothing is perfect, it's those that lie the best and can put the best show that gets selected and then betray their expectations, making them think their already unrealistic standards weren't high enough already. The fact that women with experience tend to be shamed soc…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 11:19 AM
7

One thing interesting to say about this study is that it was directed and published by two women. First, it's great to see women study and show the tendency towards abuses other women have. Second, it means any gender biaises that could have been introduced in the study design was more likely to be oriented to present women in a good light, and we still got these results. Third, it begs the question: If men did the same study and got the same result, would it have been taken seriously?
/r/MensRights29/12/24 12:09 PM
4

I kind of agree, but I think it is better represented by a spectrum of people who fit or don't than with people who matter or don't. To add to the lists of things that make people struggle you talked about, things like poverty and trauma that aren't inherent to the individual can also push people into isolation. And many people who are isolated could do great things and be incredibly useful to society in the right environment, which society fails to provide. Also, some types of mental problems i…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 09:47 AM
1

Defeatism, in general, increases the chances people will fail as they won't see the point in trying. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. But cynicism can make one more successful by giving up morality in actions to favour effectivity To this end, the Red Pill can sometimes make people give up on morality and make them more successful by justifying the uses of other means. But is what was given up worth it? Is it better to be successful through disgusting immoral means or to be unsuccessful while ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 10:49 PM
–

If I put a gun to your head, telling you I will shoot you if you don't sign a contract, will your signature be a valid form of consent even if I never intended to shoot you no matter what you did? It's an extreme example, but it shows that perceived pressure can force someone to say yes against their will. Now, I mostly agree with you, though. Outside of clear threats, constant harassment until exhaustion or coverts use of drugs, yes means yes. Of course, women can feel wrongfully threatened by …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 07:01 PM
12

Everything you said is factually true. Ignoring gender biases in research is a known, proven problem that is nearly never addressed. People then base their beliefs on the false biased understanding of the data collected and massively share it warping general the perception on those issues. The aggressive way you communicate these facts, however, even if it works here with people informed on these issues and sharing your frustration and anger, would probably cause reflexive opposition to others. …
/r/MensRights26/12/24 05:44 PM
0

I would go to war for people. The day we stop fighting for each other's is the day humanity loses. If other wouldn't do the same for me and others, women and men, they are part of the issue.
/r/MensRights23/12/24 09:28 AM
1

We are mainly slow when it comes to legal changes. We mainly all agree things should change. What is taking time is to agree on how. Also, Switzerland isn't a singular entity. We have seven people managing the confederation, men and women from multiple political sides. Confederation of separate cantons with their own legal jurisdictions and more subdivisions into communes. With four national languages. Saying "Switzerland is sexist and hypocritical" doesn't make sense when Switzerland has more v…
/r/MensRights21/12/24 08:19 PM
1

The civic duty time for everybody to replace this is an initiative currently trying to pass to my knowledge. I'm all for it personally. It's nothing comparable here, though (but we aren't in war either). There are many ways to do something else or outright avoid it. The Swiss military doesn't want to force people, so people can choose to do this time getting professional experiences in a private company instead if they want to (they do have to find the position themselves though). And there is a…
/r/MensRights21/12/24 07:11 PM
1

It's quite the debate here. Mostly, everybody agrees that everyone should have the same obligation. But, a lot of men are very attached to this system and think it is a good thing to have all young people in the country experience something different than home and it's one of the rare thing all Swiss men can relate to each other with. A lot have good memories from it and builded lifetime bounds across the nation which, for a country with 4 national languages, is quite rare. So most men want this…
/r/MensRights21/12/24 11:14 AM
-1

As a Swiss guy, people here talking as if Switzerland is a feminist dictatorship is very funny to me. The conservative right has been the most popular party for more than a decade, and the most fervent support of the military service are the men here. In fact, the debate is more men saying women should also do it and women saying nobody should do it. There are also quite a few women here who do it willingly as it can give a first professional experience in some areas, is paid, can give you certi…
/r/MensRights20/12/24 04:01 PM
1

Nobody tried to stop it right now. If enough swiss citizens gather, they can push this into a national referendum instead. They can also change it in the future in the same way.
/r/MensRights20/12/24 03:48 PM
4

As a Swiss, it is quite the subject of debates here. Most men want it to also be mandatory for women. Most women want it gone simply and purely. We are very attached to it as it seen as a good way to get young people to have a life experience away from home with people they never met that often doesn't speak the same language (we have 4 national languages) and to challenge themselves while also getting a bit of money and experience to kick-start their proffesional career. There is an initiative …
/r/MensRights20/12/24 03:44 PM
2

They care. They also probably come here to talk shit. People are plural and can have conflicting emotions and opinions. Still, they expect you to act a certain way. If you step out of it, their care will decrease.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 03:13 PM
1

Responding to hate with understanding and empathy. It doesn't feel natural because it isn't. Conflict and hate are natural. So, if we want to fight against conflict and hate, we have to fight against our own natural tendencies.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 03:07 PM
2

Just people showing they care, being forgiving and supportive. As a guy, you're seen as responsible for everything going wrong in your life, and success is expected of you always. If you break, that's your fault, if you suffer, that's your fault, if you're alone, that's your fault. Just allowing guys to be vulnerable, to show their suffering, even if they attribute the wrong causes for it, to show them they still have value even when they can't reach expectations. To not always react defensively…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 03:05 PM
1

On a side note, a fun de-escalation technique my psychiatrist mother taught me is absurdity. Our brain struggle with both thinking and being emotional so acting inexplicably tend to force angry people to ask themselves what the fuck is going on which bring their rage down to manageable levels. One practical example was one of his colleagues who walked in unto another one who was being attacked by his patient and just shouted, "It's not me! I was in the theatre! " When he turned to attack him too…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 10:50 AM
1

Got it, I'll try to up the talking and sensibilisation with other guys. One thing I think women could do that would help greatly is to just listen to men outside judgment. Like, when a guy says he's suffering because he lacks sex etc, it's not the lacking sex part that is the point of the statement, it's the suffering part. Just listening and saying that you understand that life sucks sometimes and not get into either an argument on why he's wrong or why womens problems are worse or even to not …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 09:30 AM
2

Okay, great! Let's go with this. Both should do more. What do you want men to do more now to fight for womens rights? Trying to see if I can do a bit of betterment on myself here.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 05:02 PM
1

There are people doing just that, though. Lonliness is the loudest one, but there is the problem of male rape victims, problems about inequalities in sentencing, highest rate of work related deaths, highest rates of suicide mortality, inequalities in sentencing for equal acts, inequalities in support in school and success in academia, majority of violent crimes victims, inequality in support as victims etc. Just the few topics I've seen on the top of my head. Talking about it and making noises i…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 04:57 PM
1

Woman slaps man as a "Joke". People laugh. Man slaps back. People beats him. From a true story.
/r/MensRights16/12/24 11:03 AM
2

To be fair, Italy isn't known for its progressive views about masculinity, and I say this with the utmost love and respect for the country. And that's true their should be more manifestation for men's rights. But it's growing. Online activity is growing. It's becoming more and more acceptable for men's to voice their issues and fight for them. Women's rights didn't start with massive protests. It grew from discussions, into activism, and then into protests.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 10:06 AM
1

Agree on toxic masculinity hurting men too. But what about healthy masculinity? And what about toxic feminity? Whenever someone tries to tell men they aren't worthless, that masculinity isn't a sin, they are called misogynistic even if women weren't part of the discussion in the first place. The problem with the "lack of sexual parteners" isn't so much that men don't have enough sex. It's that men are alone with nobody caring about them in any meaningful way, conditioned since birth to think tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:54 AM
6

They are though. Men's rights are being advocated. Yet people either ignore people who do or act as if it was an attack on feminism. There are misogynists in men's rights movements, that's true, but there are as much misandrist in feminists movement.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:32 AM
1

They do, though. Men's rights and its advocates are an actual movement fighting for men's. Also, if men are expected to care about womens issues, women should be expected to care about men's issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:29 AM
3

Because men are expected to fight for womens rights as much, if not more, than their own so they expect the same from women. Also, fighting men fighting for men's rights is easily perceived as men fighting against women's rights, which makes it harder for men to be heard or taken seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:26 AM
2

Because men are expected to fight for womens rights as much, if not more, than their own so they expect the same from women. Also, fighting men fighting for men's rights is easily perceived as men fighting against women's rights, which makes it harder for men to be heard or taken seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:26 AM
1

I think your example isn't a good one. Gambling and most addiction are often coping mechanisms for other issues. Removing the coping mechanisms doesn't solve the issue. It just either makes people break down or find others potentially even more unhealthy. It also is often ressented. Like, their is this one thing that makes them feel joy, and we are forbidding it. Also. The men who do act to solve the issues in meaningful ways are often badly seen. People fighting for men's rights or trying to va…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 09:21 AM
1

You shouldn't judge hundreds of peers reviewed studies as false just because one study give another answer. This said, it is known that gender biases affect studies and that expectations curb results toward them. We know men are underepresented as victims and over represented as aggressors, while women are underepresented as aggressors and overrepresented as victims. We know people struggle with any data showing this as it is perceived as harmful toward women. The mentality of us vs. them though…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/24 12:58 PM
2

Is it false? That's what I hear my lesbian friends saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 04:08 PM
28

My perception of this that men are a lot more resistant to emotional discomfort but just care a lot less about how others feels while women will feel hurt by the stupidest things but care about lot more about what others are feeling. Meaning I could call a guy friend an "horrendous dumb fuck" and just have him laugh and respond "fuck you" with nothing having changed between us while saying the same kind of thing to a woman I'm friend with would probably end our relationship. But if I'm talking a…
/r/MensRights11/12/24 01:16 PM
11

Dating is harder for lesbian than gay though. Homosexual men have an easier time finding partners than heterosexual men. Homosexual girls have a harder time finding partners than heterosexual girls. It's a behaviour problem. Men are just easier to date than women. It's not about how many of each are in the dating pool. If one side only accepts the top 10% and prefer waiting if they don't get it, there will be 90% of the other side that will have to wait even if they are ready to go further. The …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 06:21 PM
2

What about western women who have the opportunity to behave this way and don't? Yes, cultures tend to shape behaviour, but thinking Western culture is the best when it comes to women is fallacious. First, women self-reported happiness had a steady decrease in western societies correlated with their emancipation. https://law.yale.edu/sites/default/files/documents/pdf/Intellectual_Life/Stevenson_ParadoxDecliningFemaleHappiness_Dec08.pdf Second, we observed that gender differences when it comes to …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/24 05:45 PM
1

I mean, men are free to do whatever they want with their sperm. Let's not start to dictate what other men can or can not do. Also, some of these donations go to traditional couples with fertility problems. A decision like this might hurt as much, if not more people, that aren't feminist than people who are.
/r/MensRights09/12/24 09:13 AM
2

Honestly, I feel like this standard is really lower than the one most women have. Add to this untold amount of time, energy, emotional support, charisma, social skills, ambition, fitness, sexual skills, and unconditional love. In fact, it's the wrong metric. Women filter more than they seek. It's not about having the right qualities. It's about being better than all others in all categories and to keep this up for all your life while she knows she can just break up and find someone more fit to s…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 10:41 AM
0

Hard-core feminists aren't all feminism and judging a group from people pretending to be part of it online isn't a good way to create an accurate representation of it.
/r/MensRights05/12/24 05:55 PM
4

Goldiggers tend to stay on the dating market longer, thus overepresenting themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 01:05 PM
1

Would you stay close enough to talk about relationships with any woman who would do this, though? People tend to be friends with others with similar values, which tend to introduce biases in ones representation of the overall population.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 01:04 PM
0

There is a difference between fighting a problem and fighting an arbitrary group of people. Fight for men's rights and their application. Don't discriminate and alienate indiscriminately all feminist because it will hurt men's rights in the end. People see themselves as good. Feminists see themselves as fighting for a better world. If you give them the enemy, they seek you'll justify their actions. If, instead, you pause, you challenge expectations, you say, "I'm fighting for a better world too"…
/r/MensRights05/12/24 10:32 AM
1

Not a fact just because you feel that way. There is no good or wrong side here. Only people seeking solutions and people actively fighting against them on both sides.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 05:48 PM
1

Depends on which men and which women. You can't control others. You can just control yourself. And just seeking to be justified in our hate is the furthest thing away from what might possibly look like a solution. they antagonize us, so we antagonize them so they antagonize us even more, so we antagonize them even more again without stopping. Tension rises. Violence, abuse, and manipulation, too. This with no signs of stopping. There is no release at the end. Only more toxicity and hate when the…
/r/MensRights04/12/24 05:34 PM
1

As long as you're ready for how the world might turn out if they don't, go ahead.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 05:25 PM
1

You can say it the same way you could say all feminists believe women should have rights.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 11:55 AM
1

Saying that feminism is like the KKK is like saying Christianity is like antifa. You can compare a wide groups of varied and sometimes conflicting beliefs to a reduced group of extremists. You're fighting a caricature that only fits the most extreme people who call themselves feminists.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 10:39 AM
2

No u.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 10:24 AM
1

Cultural biases are learned. Men and women learn from the same cultures, which creates similar biases. Busovome social biases aren't learned. For example, the ones where we tend to the group we identify to better than others. Both men and women tend to see women more favourably because we are taught too, yet the phenomenon is 4 to 5 times stronger for women than for men because they have also the biase to see their own group as better reinforcing it while men have their own mitigating it.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 10:24 AM
1

Cross-cultural research is usually hard to find because most big psychology universities are either American or European, and finding participants is a costly process, so most just ask their students in exchange for credits. Nevertheless, I found one comparing American and Eastern gender roles and one showing how cultural biases induce behaviours. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0022022199030006004 https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/026999399379023 I'm not sure how you come to …
/r/MensRights04/12/24 10:18 AM
6

That's what gender biases are. For a long time (and still a bit today), guys could have many sexual partners without any problems, but everybody freaked out when women did the same thing and most people didn't see the problem. Men are seen as default aggressors and women as default victims today, and most people don't even realise it.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 09:39 AM
2

That's just blatantly wrong. They have gender biases. This I can agree with. But so do we. Everybody, in fact. We grew up with a caricature of each gender carved into us from our education, media, and social interactions. Biases are a basic part of being human. We can understand them. Fight them to an extent. But never really escape them.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 09:35 AM
0

It's true, and I understand the feeling. Yet, one side has to be the greater one for a conflict to end.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 09:31 AM
-1

And women get the brunt of the worst men's have to offer. When has a purely men's rights oriented organisation given the help to women you expect feminism to have given to men? Just battling each other is meaningless when they are abusers in both genders that strive off conflicts.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 09:29 AM
2

Seeing women as more "emotionally intelligent" than men is a gender biases. They aren't. But we push women towards it by saying women are, implying that not being emotionally intelligent is unwomanly. Some know what they are doing. Some don't. You can't generalise all women when it comes to this. Also, we have many little voices in us. Some put doubts on everything we do, and some confirm everything we do, so we tend to listen to the ones that confirm our beliefs and biases.
/r/MensRights04/12/24 09:25 AM
2

Everybody want the world to change, but nobody want to change it themselves. Why do we have to do it? Because someone has to. Because everybody should. We can't force others, but we can do it ourselves. And those who don't, those who prefer to blame others while the world is crumbling, are the biggest part of the problem.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:58 PM
-7

I compare how human perception and biases work, which, in this situation, is the same for men and women. to the new point you're bringing. Feminism isn't a homogeneous doctrine nor an organised group. It's a movement that is composed of various beliefs and people often at odds with each other's. It became a buzzword, and many misandrist hid behind it, but more and more misogynists are starting to hide behind men's rights, too. There is a pushback against feminism and the abuse women could do unp…
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:53 PM
0

It is. The OP had good intentions but is very biased even when it comes to the whole point he's trying to defend. Found a comment of him hear where he say that feminism is a misandrist cult which doesn't really work when you're trying to ask people here to not make caricatures.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:44 PM
1

That's the thing. We should lead by example. If we allow ourselves or other men to do to others the bad stuff that was done to ours, we imply that it's okay to do it. If we allow intolerance toward women as a whole, we imply it's okay to be intolerant to men as a whole. Of course, feminists should do this too in an ideal world. But we can't control the actions of others. Only our own. Each time a woman feels alienated by men, there is a chance she'll start finding alienating men justified. And e…
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:41 PM
1

Never underestimate how uncommon common sense can be. There are many comments here that fail to see this basic piece of understanding.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:36 PM
1

Not really. There are variations across cultures. In fact, cultures are practised by both men and women of the same cultures, and some cultures think women are inferior and should submit to men. Women of these cultures also believe this and reject women who don't comply. On a biological perspective, the key to survival is the capacity to adapt. It makes sense that we are made to adapt to any cultures we are growing in. Also, evolution care about reproduction, not happiness. Complying is often th…
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:35 PM
2

Some do, yes. That's why we shouldn't do the same.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:23 PM
-3

Not really. There are misandrist that call themselves feminists, yes. But there are also misogynists that call themselves men's rights activists. That's what you're rightly denouncing here, and I wish more people on both sides would do the same.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:22 PM
6

It's not the whole of feminism nor even the core of its value, but many hide behind the term to justify their hatred of men, yes. But many hide behind men's rights to justify their hatred of women, too. These are cancer in both groups because it sucks out the credibility of the whole.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:19 PM
4

True, there are no clear definitions. So we shouldn't judge all from one group or another as a whole as they are made of various individuals with various beliefs.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:16 PM
-10

Women have the same argument about men. You will say many men stand for women's rights, but it's a perception problem. And perception is sensible to biases no matter your gender.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:15 PM
0

You don't address how much of these behaviours and opinions are learned from sociocultural pressure, though. We have no proof that it would have an inate factor to it, and it might just be societal biases pushing beliefs and behaviours.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:13 PM
49

Some don't realise that what they are doing is misandry, though. That's the problem with societal acceptation of bad behaviour. People stop perceiving it as bad and stop perceiving the suffering it causes.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:11 PM
-6

Feminism isn't a homogeneous singular being. It's like every current. A galaxy of diverse opinions that don't always agree. The moment you caricaturalise every feminists as one entity, you fail to understand it. "What feminism want" will depend on which feminist you ask. Some are sensible to men's rights and want to defend them. Some are horrible misandrist who would love to live in a world where men are enslaved and abused. Both call themselves feminists.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:09 PM
-5

Survival mechanisms are still active even outside of survival situations. It's a stress response, not a rational one.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:05 PM
9

Women have this exact perception about men. Fighting abuse with abuse is our primal reflexes, but it only justifies more abuse. One side need to break the cycle.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:04 PM
-14

It's basis, yes. Don't measure an ideology by his worst exemples.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 04:00 PM
-11

The vast majority of men support the vast majority of misogynistic principles even if they don't call themselves misogynist. That's how you sound rights now.
/r/MensRights03/12/24 03:59 PM
3

Except decision-making skills are heavily learned. It's not as much as genetic problems as it is an education and coping behaviour problem. It also can have a deep societal impact that will survive them. If women misatribute the consequences of their misery to men in general, it's going to be things they'll teach their children, and it's will be used to legitimalise abuse against men. We need sensibilisation and education to solve these issues. Not blind reliance on natural selection, which, by …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 11:00 AM
0

So what are you laughing at? And, still no argument in sight from your part.
/r/MensRights01/12/24 09:02 AM
-1

Am I? I'm not the one mocking you while avoiding any kind of constructive criticism.
/r/MensRights01/12/24 12:18 AM
-3

So? That's my point. You caricaturalise feminism to abuse you lived from women. They caricaturalise masculinity as being toxic. You're doing the same.
/r/MensRights30/11/24 11:54 PM
1

Your argument is also valuable for your use of feminism. A generalised corruption of the concept applied to hurt the other side instead. Yes, toxic masculinity is often used to say "men are toxic" instead of saying, "society often pressure men into acting in toxic ways". But you're using feministes as "women who hate men" instead of "women fighting for women's rights". Your argument is right, but you're blind to how your own criticism apply to yourself.
/r/MensRights30/11/24 11:50 PM
-5

You use feminism the way they use toxic masculinity. You generalised a fucked up understanding of the concept to apply it against a whole group. You're doing exactly what OP is criticising, but from the other side.
/r/MensRights30/11/24 11:44 PM
–

Because they told me they had other options what kind of options it was.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 07:33 AM
–

Average number of relationships in a woman life. I don't know if there are data specifically for this, but there are for the average number of parteners people of younger generations have. We could say it is because of sexual liberation, but the amount of sex younger generations have is actually decreasing. Even without this, how many women do you know that are just collecting failed relationships or staying in unhealthy ones? I know many. A lot more than those that have found someone they are h…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 09:32 PM
-1

There are still inequalities and injustices women face in our society today. There are a lot of inequalities and injustices that men face and that are ignored, though. It's globally more equal than it was, but should we stop fighting inequalities because both gender face a similar amount? Absolutely not. We should still fight against inequalities and injustices women are facing. My personal perception, though, is that we should start to fight as fiercely for the ones men face. And, no, fighting …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 09:09 PM
–

Lots of women are. Less and less, though. Are there less reliable men, or have women standards changed in an unhealthy way? My bet is on the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 09:02 PM
–

My mom was the highest earner in my family. Why is she with my father? Because she didn't expect a high earner, attractive, and charismatic man to respond to date her and respond to all her need while having to do nothing herself. She expected a life partner. Someone she could rely on and who could rely on her through times. It wasn't about professional life, attractiveness, or empty charisma. It was about trust, being able to work together, and making a good team for life. They are still happil…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 08:56 PM
–

Look at the age range. 51% of men between 29 and 18 are single. In fact, the older the generation, the less likely they are to be single. It's a new problem the older generation didn't have, obviously. And it's getting worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 08:45 PM
–

Sensibilisation to the problem on a global scale. I know a lot of people hate hearing that women standards are too incredibly high on average and that the negative state of dating creates ressentment in men, which push them toward more extreme beliefs but it's by showing reality that you might change perception. Even just women in general starting to try to listen more to men troubles and say, "I understand. That suck." Instead of reacting defensively and blame them for their own suffering, woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 08:41 PM
2

Interesting. It's the first time I hear about this. One reason could be men aren't aware of it. Another could be that it might feel like rushing relationships. Men's tend to prefer to start with something casual but directly sexual and non-official that slowly evolve into a relationship as both start to know each other while women tend to prefer to go quickly into exclusive relationship territory then see if things match on a deeper level. A third possibility is that men find one on one meeting …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 11:42 AM
1

Stop treating them like men but like people. Imagine them as women trapped in a man body if this help. The problem is the heuristic you make. You have a caricatural image of men you use as the foundation of your understanding of any man you meet. It's not your fault. Humans have evolved heuristics because you couldn't waste time wondering if a stranger was a good or bad person when you met them before any kind of law existed. Right now, though, you can. But you have to fight your obsolet instinc…
/r/MensRights28/11/24 08:44 AM
2

I'm a bit late for the show, and I'm pretty sure everybody else already said all there was to say, but I want to sincerely thank you for coming here and informing yourself on this topic. Too few inform themselves about the problem faced by the other gender and it's great to see someone honestly trying to breach the barrier.
/r/MensRights26/11/24 07:25 PM
1

Faithfulness is about being honest, though, not sex. You can put ultimatums, you can leave the relationship. Lying to your partner is still immoral.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 08:35 AM
2

You're not the one who decides what's normal, though. You can not extrapolate from your own limited experiences and consider it global truth. Like it or not, some guys think it is normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 10:00 PM
2

4th apparently, and I've tried the first three and some later, but not all of the dozens of them that's true. Also, it isn't cited under "sources:" at the bottom But, fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 09:57 PM
2

You're making a generalisation from some guy you know and their self-reported feelings. I can assure you there are others that don't think the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 09:51 PM
2

The only source your article is showing is a sleep therapist and zero concrete studies. They talk about one but never give the name or link it. Not the best article to get info from.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 09:46 PM
2

A lot of guys are proud of over 50. Some see ut as a sport.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 09:42 PM
7

The probable thing is that women will tend to undereport while men will tend to overeport. Promiscuous women are badly seen while promiscuity is seen as an achievement for men. It's probably harder for women to accept their own promiscuity, while men will tend to exaggerate theirs to feel good about themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 09:41 PM
28

It is proven that self reports are affected by culture and gender biaises, though. Putting doubts on the validity of self reports is necessary to better the quality of data acquired. Human perception is extremely malleable, and speaking with personal experiences isn't enough to prove anything on a more global scale. One example would be the fact that men undereport the abuse they live. Ask men if they've lived through sexual abuses and most will say no. Ask them if they ever felt forced into sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 09:38 PM
1

Their are tendencies in preferences. The more a preference is out of the norm, the rarer it is. And finding someone with the right set of preferences to perfectly apply to you is near impossible. Also, knowing who someone really is takes time. A few dates aren't enough for this, but it is during the first dates that you need to please enough to motivate the other person to keep seeing you. Who you really are doesn't matter here. You'd have a better time socialising outside the dating sphere and …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 09:14 AM
1

Not all. Some are directly more desirable than most without artifice. But it's a spectrum. And, for similar base levels of attractiveness, those who lie and manipulate get more success. It also depends on what you call "dating successfully". If you consider dating a lot of women short-term a win, then lying and manipulation are the way to go. If you want long-term companionship, though, it is inherently building something on fake foundations that might break anytime. But all relationships are sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 03:58 PM
2

Great
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 08:29 AM
5

It is. The true problem, though, is that dating has no rules. What does it mean? It means those succeeding are those who don't care about anything but success and are ready to lie, cheat, and force to get what they want. Women have more options in general, so they don't need those tactics as much and can find parteners without them. Men often can't. If they have a moral code, if they have empathy, it means they have more limitations to follow compared to those who don't. It means they are more l…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:14 PM
2

A lot/some men complain about being lonely, but I genuinely feel a lot of it comes from lacking empathy skills. When women, at least on Reddit, share some unfortunate event that happened, a good portion of men don't empathize, but immediately blame them or talk about how their life is worse. When men talk about what they feel and live, a good portion of women don't empathize but immediately blame them or talk about how their life is worse. In fact, your post is actually doing what you accuse men…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 07:01 PM
53

People have been taught that men sexualising women's bodies is abusive. People have also been taught that women sexualising men's bodies is a compliment. Women have a hard time accepting this is a problem as they don't want to be randomly sexualised but want to keep randomly sexualising men.
/r/MensRights12/11/24 09:27 AM
3

Even in conterculture apparences and superficial social dynamics will thrives. You juste change the esthetic and discussion subjects.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/24 10:19 AM
2

I know how you feel. Bern, there. Done that. And, honestly? You shouldn't have to feel this way. I'm talking about how to succeed, but the truth is that the amount of work, rejections, and disrespect you have to get the lowest standard of a girlfriend who will emotionally abuse you until you break before dumping you and gohsting you even after years of relationship, just isn't worth it. You'll have an easier time going the cynical way and focus on gaining money to spend on escorts. Even this wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 05:29 PM
5

Thank you immensely. It is extremely rare to read this in online debates, which show how great you are for this and the civil discussion we had. And to add to what I was first saying, it's typically something I would never experience on a feminist group if I dared to say the same thing. That there is as much misandry there than misogyny here. Which is more than worrying.
/r/MensRights07/11/24 05:14 PM
3

It's not a fact. It's a heuristic. You're taking observable tendencies and putting the average as a solid unquestionable characteristic with zero variation. The reality of humans is that behaviour is insanely diverse from an individual to another and that tendencies have a spectrum of strength on which people can be situated anywhere. Some just don't follow tendencies, some feel a weak pull from them they can easily push through, some are defined by them. Judging a whole gender on an observable …
/r/MensRights07/11/24 04:31 PM
-2

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/s/TSltD7i3bB It is sexism. It's a generalisation about a gender wich is sexist. Sexism is made of gender centred fallacies. You're probably talking about purely hate speech, which is different, but that's not what I'm saying here.
/r/MensRights07/11/24 04:11 PM
0

I'm talking about what worked for me. I'm an anime fan. It's not the sexiest hobby, yet people seem to like hearing me talk about it even when they don't care about it themselves. Right now, in this message, the "you" that you're projecting is a contrarian, a cynic, and someone hopeless and bitter from his past failures. Not the energy people try to include in their lives. I'm sure it's not what you're presenting when you're trying to get a date, but then, here is the question: What are you pres…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 04:06 PM
1

Facts aren't sexist. What you say about them can be. It took me 10 seconds on a post about paternity fraud to find someone saying "women can't be trusted even if you fit their 6 figures ideals". It is a generalisation about all women inspired by the bad actions of a few. It's like saying "men can't be trusted no matter what because they will always put potential sex before the relationship". It is sexist.
/r/MensRights07/11/24 03:55 PM
32

From my experience, there are high levels of sexism toward the opposite sexe in both men's rights and feminist groups. It makes sense when you think about it. These kinds of platforms are perfect breeding ground for these kind of resentments and in-group vs out-group dynamics. In both, there are also people able to have a genuine conversation on the subject and see injustice and inequalities both sexes suffer from without victimising themselves or attributing fault to everybody who don't agree w…
/r/MensRights07/11/24 11:59 AM
–

But it is the principle, isn't it? People online don't need to show a mask. They don't need to adapt to others. They don't need to tone done what they really think. If your husband was as politically obsessed as people you talk to online, would he be your husband?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 07:52 AM
2

People tone down how much their political opinions differ from the person they want to date and only show the truth of it once they're at ease or triggered. This election trigger many people pushing them to show the truth of their opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 08:07 PM
3

I agree, but I think people underestimate how much you can move through this with how you project yourself. A lot of guys would be infinitely more successful if they dressed well, took care of themselves, and worked on their communication. In fact, even showing passions for things and being interesting to listen to can get you far. It's also something a lot of women could improve by the way (outside of the dressing well). So many women have literally no discussion skills, nothing interesting to …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 10:49 AM
1

In the same way, they will always be con men. Men who are successful have no incentive to change their ways and, if their ready to lie to this level, probably don't have the empathy to care for what other men are living through. Women may not consciously accept the facts, but things can't be unheard or unread. By talking about it to them and their cycle, keeping on hurting them again and again, seeds of doubts are planted and watered until cracks break through their illusions. Even if they reali…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 04:06 PM
1

I agree. It's really not that hard to understand why, though. In a world of women with overly high expectations and online dating, those who can fake fitting into those expectations the best are the ones who get most of the dating success short-term and get casual sex the most. Which is sad because most women have high expectations, thinking it will make the resulting relationship better in the long-term. Instead, they get used and either ditched or stuck in a situationship they're not comfortab…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 03:20 PM
14

It was a conscious choice. I doubt the article includes trans men in the "men" category and certainly isn't including trans women in the "women" category. It wouldn't make sense to talk about gender, a psychological representation of oneself, when they visibly aren't taking into account such things in the article.
/r/MensRights30/10/24 02:08 PM
1

Your argument is "men they already know outside of dating". Also, they might not consciouly share them. Men having a lot of success and experience with women aren't known for their honesty and openness.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 01:59 PM
1

I would with many nice husbands and their potential other parteners with the relationship open to sex outside the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 09:54 AM
60

If you blame a whole sexe for societal problems while ignoring any responsibility your own side has in the matter, chances are that you're part of the problem.
/r/MensRights30/10/24 09:53 AM
1

Yep. I'm already poly as man, so it would kind of be weird if I suddenly became monogamous the moment I became the sex wich have the easiest time finding parteners.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 09:48 AM
1

Yes, it is a multifaceted problem, and its resolution takes time. We might even argue that all societies in history tried to resolve it in their own ways and never reached a perfect solution. And that was when the world was a lot slower in the way it was changing. Without factors like contraception and the Internet. But I think we can, at least, imagine solutions. Not perfect ones of course, but maybe better than what we have today. For kids, I once dated someone who had family in Cameroon, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 08:50 AM
1

Okay, I understand. It's your right and totally fine. In a way, I agree that there are some very toxic things in modern hookup culture that have a dire impact on society. Personally, I don't think it's women enjoying themselves or having many parteners, though. I think it's the constant search for ideal, unrealistic relationships and the death of commitments and sense of community. I think we need to learn to create new, long-lasting bonds. To stop treating dating like shopping where you can jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 08:13 AM
1

Because of societal pressure on this one. Doesn't mean that what is pushed is right. And, if you want it to change, you have to go against it. And, if this pressure isn't fair, you have a duty to fight against it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 07:52 AM
1

Honestly? It feels like you tried to find any number correlated with your preconception to explain it. But correlation isn't causality. And you can find many other ways to explain it. For example, STD data would also be this way if women did hook up with strangers but favoured men who slept around because those are the most skilled in getting them in their bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 07:45 AM
1

Absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 06:14 AM
1

I mean, these men are easy score too. Enjoying oneself as a woman doesn't mean trying to form a deep relationship with everybody.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 06:13 AM
0

I'd definitely go full porn star (of I'm pretty enough) But, yeah, moderne women. Though, I wouldn't mind the stay at home life or having children, just the monogamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 09:10 PM
0

You have a caricatural idea of men. But beyond that, I think you don't take into account that it is socially less accepted for men to be emotionally vulnerable and to show it. And love, by definition, is a state of emotional vulnerability. When a man shows his love, it's a lot more significant than when a woman does, because it means going against everything the world told him he was supposed to be. I don't think there is a difference in how strong men or women love, but I know that at least a p…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 11:57 AM
1

The societal effort made to better understand the struggle of women didn't help, though. Why wouldn't it be the same with men? Also, I'm not talking about attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 06:34 PM
1

I fail to see how that connects with what I said?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 06:06 PM
1

You can do sensibilisation to change people perceptions. Interpersonal problems can be fixed by making the population learn about them and actively fight to fix them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:33 PM
1

Yet, people laughed. If a guy did this to a girl, they wouldn't have laughed. People react to abuse done by women to men as if it isn't serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 07:11 AM
6

You missed the point. Women are wonderful bias is a kind of misogyny. It's motivated by the feeling that women are too fragile to handle criticism. You completely ignore misrepresentation men face and the resources I provided showing it. You use toxic masculinity for all because you can't handle the existence of toxic feminity. You're using bad arguments and beliefs of other people on this sub as if they were mine, disregarding what I'm actually saying. You're pushing a feeling. When it comes to…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 08:57 PM
4

To be short. To me, it seems you're letting yourself get caught by the women are wonderful bias. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect We mostly agree, but you insist on saying more men are more often to blame. I'm doubtful on this as societal biases tend to push the blame unto men and reject situations where women, for once, might be more to blame. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ijop.13101 https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjop.12580 you keep…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 08:12 PM
2

I completely agree. The fight against gender based societal biaises is far from over.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 07:22 PM
7

I've experienced the same kind of things with women. It's jealousy. The more atracted to you he is, the more paranoid he'll become. It's unhealthy and shows insecurities.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 07:20 PM
2

Thank you. It's something I'm learning now. Now that I'm aware of it being abuse. Voicing discomfort.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 07:09 PM
1

Women asking this to men were seen as giving them a compliment. Some reciprocated. Some took it as a joke. One time, a girl asked a guy if he was interested in sex with her. He said no, she slapped him, he slapped back, and the other around fucked him up for hitting her. I remembered the time it happened to me seeing this and thanked God I had the self-control to not return the slap at the time. People laughed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 07:07 PM
1

That's the problem. Societal biases that hurt both men and women. Yet, while it is easily accepted when comes to women's being hurt by it, when it comes to men, people are fighting thooth and nails against the idea. Why? Because they feel like anything that puts men as the victim might hurt women emancipation. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ijop.13101
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:59 PM
3

Believe me, physical strength doesn't matter when the other one has a knife and women are very much capable of sexual violence after being rejected. Men sexual victimisation is being found out as underrepresented in stats and studies. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4062022/ The causes are gender biases that also affect women representations as aggressors. https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjop.12580
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:55 PM
5

Inequalities are what I meant. I didn't say someone else choices were the problem. I said the inequalities were the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:49 PM
1

I'm talking outside relationships, and yes, I've seen women say that to men in these situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:47 PM
0

It is not only men but overall bystanders independently of their gender though. When men express their pain, they are blamed for it. Saying they victimise themselves, that they should fight more as a way to invalidate their experience. You can always blame the victims. Doesn't make them less of a victim.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:44 PM
2

Honestly? A few. And that's without talking about women grabbing me without asking or kissing me out of nowhere. It's not about stability. It's about education, and a lot of guys and girls are taught that it is normal and good when a girl does it but bad when a guy do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:41 PM
3

Because societal biases teach guys that they should take any amount of femal attention as a win no matter if their into it or not since their birth.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:38 PM
3

Isn't it what is being done here?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:36 PM
4

Then that seems like the problem you need to fix. The problem "we" need to fix. Women participate in this as much as men. So then the issue that needs to be fixed is men basing their entire self-worth on sexual success so that they can recognize when they've been coerced and assaulted. This is better known as toxic masculinity, which means progressives are your people. Women also propagate these biases and participate in them. Are you victims blaming? Saying it's their fault for not recognising …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:36 PM
5

That's true. The problem is that it isn't treated as such when a woman does it to a guy though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 06:00 PM
1

There still is a bias. If a man went to a woman and said "I want to fuck with you" it would be seen as threatening (even if she's into that). If a woman went to say the same to a man, it would be seen as a compliment (even if he's not into that).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 05:45 PM
1

Believe me, I gained experience that helped me after this. But the sticker of your body count does have an effect. People tend to be attracted to what society shows as the ideal mate while avoiding what society sees as the worst. There are individual differences, but the tendency is this. And, the ideal mate as a guy is shown as successful with women while the worst is shown as a virgin. It's a sociocultural bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 05:42 PM
3

Are men asking women not to approach them? Because I see posts here constantly saying the exact opposite They have been taught since birth to see any amount of femal attention as a compliment and to mesure their worth from how much they get. Of course, they won't ask for less. The same way they won't say they've been sexually abused in their life. But if you asked if they have felt forced into a sexual situation or sexual acts they didn't want, most will say yes without any hesitation. Not reali…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 05:36 PM
1

Yes but things are changing in humans (and some of cousins) as we started to give sex a social role outside of reproduction. It also is changing even more so now that we have contraception and abortion techniques. The importance of sex is shifting from reproduction to social codification.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 05:17 PM
2

How is "women want to be able to exist without someone trying to hit on them" putting down men's sexuality? If women are able to do the same thing without social consequences while men aren't, it is putting down men. You aren't entitled to love or relationships or sex. That is a very different connotation from "you don't deserve love or relationships or sex." Doesn't solve the problem, though. It's just ignoring it and calling it a day. We should take seriously the suffering of everybody in a so…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 05:10 PM
3

Problems touching half of society are society's problems. Women's problems are as much men's problem as men's problems are women's problems. When men express sexual interest toward women, it is often seen as an aggression. When women do the same toward men, it is seen as a compliment. There are many things that don't work with your logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 05:04 PM
9

Men and women aren't equal here, though. A woman going to a guy and saying, "I want to make love to you" will be seen as a compliment. A guy doing the same to a woman will be seen as an aggression.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 04:59 PM
31

Not my experience with femcels. From my experience, femcels are women who identify themselves more with incels than other women. Meaning ugly, unsuccessful, spending their days before a screen in an unclean room watching porn and browsing 4chan, avoiding any and every social interactions possible while spewing their frustration and hatred of the world to any stranger online that they might find. They tend to have a hate for both women and men as high as their self-esteem is low, which is to said…
/r/MensRights27/10/24 10:00 AM
10

He's polite and careful of others' feelings to a fault. He tries to create a relationship based on communication and mutual understanding before starting anything, even remotely, sexual. He takes care of others while expecting nothing in return. He's understanding and accepting of everybody no matter the faults. He reacts to abuse toward him with tolerance and forgiveness, swallowing his frustration instead of expressing it openly. I'd say it's a spectrum with most men showing some of those char…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 11:36 AM
1

I can understand why. For me, it kind of defeats the point of life. You can close yourself to the world and spend your life in comfort and bliss, but I aspire to more. I aspire to have an impact in the world, to leave something behind, to matter. And connecting oneself to others is the lowest requirement for this. Even if it is impossible for things to last, trying, being part of the world, is enough for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:29 PM
2

A lot of your arguments are from caricatures of men that are currently being debunked. These caricatures also influence criminal data as officials tend to condemn men more often and harshly than women for similar actions. It also pushes men toward these behaviours. Treating men as inherently more aggressive and violent than women implying than being pacifist and tender is unmanly. It also pushes people to treat men as a potential danger that isolates them and increase their risk of actually beco…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:16 PM
1

Men give more importance to the physical appearance compared to women but are less picky. Women give more importance to socioeconomical achievments but are more picky. I'd argue that you can change your salary and social standing more easily than your physical appearance. You can be an ugly man. If you're rich and popular, you'll be successful with women. But, if you're a really ugly woman, no matter how rich and successful you are, it's going to be hard for you to find a man. But men will find …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 03:14 PM
4

Now we do sensibilisation about the problem. Women having standards that are too high create problems in society. I doubt most women want to spend their life alone or as a side piece of someone who has a lot of success so it's in their interest to actually have realistic standards, to know what it means. Of course, some are happier alone, but a lot use this excuse more as a way to cope with the pain than as a true life goal. It also means that men are giving up. It's what is observed with younge…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 09:28 AM
0

Saviour complex is something guys tend to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 06:57 AM
2

From my experience, when it comes to choices of partners, women are idealists while men are cynics. For women, it's about having the best partner and relationship they could have. For men, it's about having anything that is better than nothing. For women in relationships, it's about the relationship fitting their expectations. For men in relationships, it's about the relationship being more good than bad. So, yes, in a way, men have lower standards. They don't expect the best but good enough. It…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 09:28 PM
0

To be fair, Harley Queen is the victim of an abusive relationship. Dorian Gray is the abusive partner. Not the best example to use to make your point. And, here is the frustration, guys will be generally be atracted to both the healthy and unhealthy girls. Women are usually the ones filtering. They have a bigger power and, thus, responsibilities in their choices of partners. I wouldn't say you're completely wrong, though. Men tend to be harsher onto women than themselves for their choice of part…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 08:50 PM
2

My experience with it is that people separate their opinions from their desire. People will think rationally and have rational opinions of equality and acceptance, but when it comes to love and/or sexuality, it isn't about rationality. It's about emotional inclinations. And, no matter how progressive, women grew up with stories glorifying virility in their partner and often integrated them in their desire toward others. Men, too, by the way. They grew up with stories of perfect, beautiful women …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 06:15 PM
3

Not what I said. You're making emotionally motivated caricatures about women. Some women do the same with men. Do you really want to stand to the same level?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 02:00 PM
2

Testosterone isn't enough to explain these changes, and sociocultural influences have a great impact on capacity, behaviour, and success. Let's take the idea that boys are better at math and girls are better in languages in school, for example. This is an observable difference when you compare data. An experience has been done where one class was told the opposite during the year. At the end of the year, what they were told became true. Boys were, on average, better in languages in the class and…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 11:05 AM
3

Your comment read like someone who has fallen to propaganda. A lot of caricature justified more by feeling than facts. I understand why you feel this way. Why you want to feel this way. But I highly doubt you'll find effective solutions to better the world in this ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 10:59 AM
3

The advice women gave me in real life was either "You don't have to do anything. True love will find you." or "you should stop asking for consent before doing things. It kill the mood". It didn't really help and I'm pretty sure the second advice would put me in jail at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 10:48 AM
1

You're stating this as if it was an unquestionable fact. It isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 09:20 AM
1

High T will make you not celibate and get more sexual partners. Independent of your level of attractiveness. You can not affirm this. There are too many unknown and individual differences. There is probably a correlation, but you can not affirm a causality with what we know on the subject currently. For example, what if it's the reverse? People who are not celibate and get more sexual partners produce more testosterone, but producing more testosterone won't help with your celibate or to get more…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 09:55 PM
1

The pharmaceutical industry? Yes. They have an interest in selling you stuff, exagerate efficacity, and ignore problems. If it is recommended by your personal doctor, it's great, but you shouldn't use an industry that has an interest in selling you stuff as a good source to listen to when it comes on the true effects of it. Hormones can have an influence, it's true, mainly on mood, etc. But psychology, too. Genes, too. Even your intestinal microbiome, like you said, has a great effect on your be…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 09:41 PM
1

I am sceptical whenever people talk about hormones as an explanation for behaviour. It is a very much multifactorial issue with high individual differences. You can't just say testosterone, make men more proactive and successful, and call it a day. Excess testosterone is also responsible for man baldness, which isn't usually seen as a very attractive feature, for example. And too many guys took testosterone to increase their muscle mass and / or "virility", ending up causing a hormonal imbalance…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 09:10 PM
1

I'm poly, so I would probably have many life partners. I would also mess around a lot more. Maybe even sell content or services. I would probably start a poly family, have children, have friends with benefits on the side, and the casual hookups. It mostly would depend on my libido, though. It's easy to imagine doing all this when you have never ever truly been sexually satisfied, but the truth is that I have no idea of when it would be too much for me to handle.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 08:53 PM
0

I mean, I've seen a study about misrepresentation of male sexual abuse that said it could go up to 62% of men. It's about all types of sexual abuse, but still. The 25% of women wouldn't surprise me. It might also make it worse that women on women sexual assault are probably often not considered.
/r/MensRights10/10/24 09:38 AM
3

Men seek emotional and sexual intimacy because they don't get it outside of their relationship with women. As long as they get this without having to destroy themselves to fit unrealistic standards, most men are happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:03 PM
4

Would that be socially accepted today? No. Would there still be miserable guys getting offended because you're sleeping with others and not them? Absolutely. Should you care ? Absolutely not. People tend to project their pain unto people their envious of. If you have many partners, people who can't get one will often hate you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 08:39 AM
–

"I'm willing and eager to penetrate your holes" feels like more of a threat than a compliment to me. To me, too, but I wasn't talking about people trying to approach you with sexual harassment but people with who would at least try to be polite.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:56 PM
–

I would take it as a compliment, honestly. I've had ugly girls and dudes hit on me. Even if I'm not interested, it is always great to know some people are attracted to you
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:24 PM
–

Wtf does this even mean? Most women don’t look at men they want relationships with as potential sex toys. I'm talking about men. I call bullshit on this one. Most guys just out to bag numbers aren’t going to actually have a conversation with a woman or try get to know her, unless of course they think it’s a sure thing. And if she approaches them, she’s definitely on the sure thing list. You underestimate greatly to what length men are able to go if it means potentially getting laid. Just playing…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 10:15 AM
–

But not shooting your shot makes this worse. It's a lot easier to be rejected by someone you only see as a potential sex toy, and if you're used to it. This makes men who don't care about women a lot more likely to approach them, while men who do care are too afraid to potentially make them feel uneasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 09:42 AM
–

Why, though? Where does this visceral reaction come from?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 09:39 AM
–

It's not about being wrong or right. It's about needs not being met and life purpose. Many men have been raised with funding a family as the purpose of their life and romantic and sexual success as equating their values as individuals. Even without this, men natural needs in terms of sexuality and affection aren't met outside of relationships. So what happens when your needs aren't met, your self-esteem is crushed by your lack of success, and your life purpose is unattainable? You either kill yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 09:31 AM
0

Yes But we could talk about serial monogamy, which is more and more of a trend lately Basically, jumping from one monogamous relationship to another repeatedly in a short period of time Can this really be considered monogamy?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 04:50 PM
2

I was asking both, actually. But your answer covers the topic quite well in both cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 04:01 PM
10

Probably It's true the question does filter who will respond to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 02:09 PM
6

It does, in fact. I probably read too fast and missed some parts. Thanks !
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 01:59 PM
3

I see. But for you, what is the difference between what you're describing and hooking up? I mean, if it didn't match with the kissing and all, wouldn't you have gone to the next one? What about guys who want to be in a relationship before having physical intimacy?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 01:32 PM
1

Because the need for monogamous relationships and the need for multiple sexual parteners exist in two separate systems in the brain, apparently. I saw a post citing a study on the subject a while ago. Some people have a high need for a monogamous relationship, some people have a high need for multiple sexual parteners, some people have a high need for both and some for neither. People with a high need for both are the most likely to cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 11:05 AM
1

It is saying that he has a dick who's good enough for everyday use but not exactly fetish material. There is a study that shows that the preferred dick size for one-time partners for women is a bit bigger than the one for long-time partners if I remember correctly. It's mostly painful because men have deep insecurities around dick size, and anything that isn't saying that they have the best dick you've ever experienced will make a lot of them insecure.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 08:49 AM
1

It makes me think about the time my bipolar and borderline ex left me while I was in a post burnout depression from trying to manage her suicidal tendencies 24/7. Apparently, I was "not trying hard enough".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 08:43 AM
1

I knew guy whose ex menaced to kill herself if he refused to have sex with her. She did this repeatedly for multiple months.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 08:37 AM
1

"You're not enough"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 08:34 AM
–

Interesting. Are they intending to use them on other men (ie they're gay) or buying on behalf of their wife? Both, actually. The one using it on themselves aren't always gay though. And the ones buying them for their wife often come back to ask for smaller sizes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 12:27 PM
–

I'm talking about degrees of reality. Some are very far off, some are very close. And, I'm sorry, but saying that a couple filming themselves and then posting it online because exhibition is their kink isn't real is kind of absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:58 AM
–

Fun fact from a friend of mine working in a sex shop: most gigantic dido are bought by men. But about size insecurities, it's a global phenomenon. Nearly all guys have heard that size doesn't matter. Still, the complexe didn't disappear. An enormous amount of them still feel shame and body dismorphia toward it. The problem visibly isn't just about information on the subjects. Personally, I think it's just an extension of the fact that guys feel like their whole value and their only chance to get…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:52 AM
–

"Angels and all that shit in porn" is talking about a specific kind of porn. I agree, saying that porn is a reflection of real life is wrong. But saying that "Angels and all that shit" represents all porn is wrong, too. It's like cinema. Cinema isn't like real life, but some films are fantasy and other documentaries. Same in porn, some are fantasy, and some are real-life people doing stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:42 AM
–

You can say this to an individual. When the problem is on a societal scale, it shows societal failure. Better sex education would already do a lot, and public sensibilisation to body image problems for both guys and girls would do even more.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:35 AM
–

I never said it was new, but the bad apples are those who stand out. I'm not criticising women, though. I'm just trying to explain how dick size is currently used against men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:21 AM
–

It's true, but women tend to overestimate guys' average size, and the morally bankrupt ones don't hesitate to use guys' tendency to complex on the subject against them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:09 AM
–

I think you're right. The problem, though, is that people tend to oversimplify. They transform "porn can give body image issues" into "porn is destroying people's view on sexuality". People tend to go into hyperbolic interpretation of things, and it is the true problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:06 AM
–

Professional porn as in companies living from porn productions, is the minority of all porn existing today. There are a lot of independent models and even more amateur free porn. Still, what gets popular is what stay in mind, and exaggeration still is a factor, but there are many that specifically seek "normalcy" in porn. About your conclusion that porn is what makes guy nervous speaking to girls, I think your causality is reversed. The new sociocultural pressure of today makes it more difficult…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 11:03 AM
–

If we take into account independent models, it's mostly women. Most porn isn't made by professional companies today yet, it still is the first type of porn that people imagine when we talk about it today.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 10:57 AM
–

When people say porn is different than real life, they picture professional, commercial porn. Nowadays, the Internet is flooded with amateur free porn which presents already something closer to reality. I wouldn't say porn has no influence, though, but I'm convinced people tend to exagerate it's impact mostly because people are naturally prone to oversimplify phenomenons. It's true that men are more obsessed by penis size compared to women, but women also tend to overestimate penis size, and fet…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 10:55 AM
15

Dude. It's not women he's talking to. It's to men who will buy whatever he's selling. It's marketing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 09:19 PM
2

I really don't understand serial monogamy personally. If you just jump from a monogamous relationship to another again and again, why enter a monogamous relationship at all? Personally, I now mostly search polyamourous open relationships, but every time I've been in a monogamous relationship, I've done so with the objective to keep the relationship going for my whole life. If you enter a relationship planning to ditch the other one whenever he or she isn't good-looking enough for you, why bother…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 07:12 PM
1

Some women want to be left alone, and some want to be approached. Both take it as either an attack or an insult if you don't respect their expectations. Both think most women want the same thing as them and thus expect men to know what they want. Of course, most women won't be frontal about it. If you politely approach a woman who doesn't want to, she'll politely let you know. And if you don't approach a woman who wants to be approached, she'll respect it. Yet both will complain about it to thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 09:42 PM
4

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect?wprov=sfla1
/r/MensRights13/09/24 07:30 AM
–

Well, not only men rape. You should avoid everyone by your logic. Of course, as a woman, you're clearly more at risk of being raped by a man, but life is a risk. Trying to avoid every danger won't give you a happy life.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 07:10 AM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 01:18 PM
3

I mean, I see more men complain because they can't even afford an already used car and because their is no public transport disponible than because they're actively refusing any already used car. The "where are all the good men?" is also a more popular complaint on the women side of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 12:30 PM
3

Then, it isn't a problem for men to do the same, right? Choose to walk instead of buying a used car?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 11:42 AM
4

Same applying for women, then? Right? If they're average, they should be fine dating average men? Like, at least 50% of women should be okay dating 50% or more of the men they know if they were celibate and looking while only the 10% most high quality women should be picky with who they date? By your logic, it should be so. Personally, I think judging the quality of someone by how much it has been "used" is dumb but each they own, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 11:11 AM
1

I'm not saying you suggested it. It's just me rambling about problems making controlling if people working with children are attracted to them or consume child porn difficult. I don't personally find all porn repulsive and dehumanizing. Sure, a big part of what's most popular fall into this, but not all. I would also question the immoral part. People don't choose their needs, and if porn give people the possibility of managing them instead of having them hurt other people, as long as it is produ…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 06:32 AM
2

I would still not want my children to be near to someone who consumes child porn, even if it is AI generated and may lower the chance of him/her commiting sexual crimes against children. A bit similarly, I also wouldn't want to be in a relationship/marriage with a man who consumes porn. That's your right. Still, it's difficult to justify imposing society wide rules limiting access to some profession or other based on personal legal activities they do. The risk might be higher for a teacher who i…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 11:00 AM
3

Whether porn causes dehumanization or whether porn is a result of dehumanization, in both scenarios porn is dehumanizing. Yes. I'm not saying it isn't. Would you use a similar argument to defend the consume of child pornography for pedophiles? Not child pornography that shows real child abuse as the production involves abuses of children. Drawn child pornography or, a more recent phenomenon, AI generated child pornography (as long as it doesn't recreate any real individuals), yes. If no pain is …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 10:28 AM
3

The problem is that it is impossible to know the direction of causality when it comes to porn. Does porn cause dehumanisation and sexual violence, or are those natural human tendencies that then shape porn making it a proxy to these actions and managing would be abusers ? Personally, one look at history or at countries banning porn makes me think it's the latter, and that porn actually helps manage sexual aggression in the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 09:06 AM
0

The solution, for me, is to change our views and reactions toward rape and rapist entirely. We can't stop it. We, more often than not, can't prove it. And reactionary action on suspicion hurt innocents as much as it hurt guilty people. It's about prevention. By prevention, I mean teaching about how to protect oneself and what is healthy and unhealthy sexually. I mean finding early people who might become sexually aggressive. I mean teaching those people how to manage themselves and teach them he…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 08:49 AM
9

Yes. Yet reputation and social acceptation aren't things our legal system can manage. You can be found innocent and still be fired ostracised and have "Rapist!" written in big bright red letters every week. And that's if a vigilante doesn't just decide to break your front teeth or gun you down.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 08:35 AM
0

I have a divided opinion on the subject. On one hand, I think it's necessary to show what is happening and to ask on a societal level what can be done against it. It's good to talk of ones experience and to warn others so they don't live the same thing as you. On the other hand, I'm firmly against what is literally just a modern witch hunt. Not all these accusations will be true, yet lives are destroyed regardless of proof. It also spreads the illusion that any man can potentially be an aggresso…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 08:31 AM
8

Well, how do you prove that sex was unconcensual? It's a word against word scenario and the burden of proof being on the accusation, most rape accusations can't be proved. The MeToo movement spread accusations and expectations of consequences from said accusations. Which can't happen on a judiciary point of view without proof, so it kind of pushed public consequences and justified destroying reputations. But, if you're famous, a lot of people will feel envious of your position, and you are an ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 08:16 AM
1

I'm pretty sure the girl will have better odds of being believed.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 07:30 AM
1

I've known enough men raped by women to not find it silly. If studies corroborate this, it certainly won't surprise me. Say that most women don't like sex in a women oriented community and see the reaction. Men here typically don't hang out in dating hot spots where abuse can happen. Also, most men here believe 80% of women go for the top 20% of men, so their out of the potential victims pool by their own logic. Also, old fat ugly women are potential abusers too. People here aren't thinking of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 07:13 PM
2

It's kind of a question I've got no perfect answer to. In one situation, there is a better visibility of abuse but more avoidable trauma coming from the awareness. On the other, there isn't any visibility and even denial, but avoidable trauma is avoided. I think it's better on a societal point of view to encourage visibility even if avoidable trauma is caused. Just hiding the truth to avoid pain leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The alternative would be to start denying abuse of women in to avoid …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:14 AM
2

"However, efforts to extend this model to humans have shown limited success" Litterally, the phrase is just after your highlighted text on the page. You need to prove the bias, not just assume there is some there. Most articles aren't biased in a negative way The problem here is a problem that I've encountered in discussions with others here. Should biases found in some studies and statistics on gender differences in aggression cast doubt on other studies with similar but not identical subjects …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:07 AM
2

You're taking this fight the wrong way. It's not a us vs. them mentality that will fix things. It's a fixing society situation. Of course, women had it worse historically. But to not consider injustice, men also could live, have lived, or would live will just, at best, make you into the oppressing power and, at worse, will discredit your fight entirely. Once again, of course, women had it worse historically. That is why it is very important to consider the abuses and injustice men live because n…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 08:56 AM
2

Well, a guy is killed and the girl say she did it because the guy tried to rape her. Will people believe her? Well, a girl is killed and the guy say he did it because the girl tried to rape him. Will people believe him?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 08:44 AM
3

Damn... I think it might be a mix between those who need to feel superior, benevolent misogyny, and men in denial about their own abuse. If trauma is heavily affected by the self interpretation of the memory, denial and beliefs that guys can't be raped might actually, at least partially, protect one from the pain of trauma with desillusion as the price. It's just a personal theory, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 08:38 AM
3

Not american and even If I was I would very much be against project 2025 and everyone that has anything to do with it. I'm prochoice and I'm for women rights. Doesn't mean I should ignore sociale biases toward men. Which here aren't even the point as these dynamique actually actively harm women too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 07:49 PM
3

Discarting that other gender related studies and statistics can be affected by gender bias without raisons seems excessive. You can think the difference is not much but it's most likely here. I would love to see your genetic and biochemical sources about men as natural aggressors. But yes cultural raisons are also why men where underepresented as victims and them changing men's behaviour to push their aggressivity is a known effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 07:46 PM
3

I mean, if we are now finding that studies and statistics are biased by social beliefs about men and women you can seriously start questioning these kind of preconceived notions. On the second part, it's the same logic abusive men use against women when they say "she had an orgasm wich mean she wanted it and is now abusively reporting me because she has regrets" so I'd say it's dumb victim blaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 06:40 PM
2

...I'm tired. My reasoning seems quite easy to understand yet the only responses I keep getting now are people saying "similar studies are true until proven otherwise". Biases that logically extend over multiple studies and statistics is enough proof for me to question them, not for you. Too bad. I doubt I can convince you and I doubt you can convince me. Not that I'm not open to being convinced but your reasoning just seems like obtuse rigidity ignoring logical implications of finding that gend…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 04:22 PM
1

Witchs are disregarded by the protection of god. Therefore, if we burn a woman and god doesn't save her, it's a witch. This verify the common sense that witch exists. We visibly don't know the same kind of women. Also, try to defend yourself when you wake up à knife under your throat. I completely understand. This data you have about male rapist might be also affected by societal biases.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 03:28 PM
1

But you absolutely cannot assume that it disproportionately affects cases of female perpetrators significantly more, if at all, compared to cases of male perpetrators. It's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that you cannot assume it does not either. For sure. But that does not mean you can ignore them. You don't have anything to suggest that the bias identified would cause a notable discrepancy between male and female preparators against male victims. Speculation does not refute actual dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 03:23 PM
5

The social bias identified in your links is "male perpetrator, female victim" resulting in male victimization being underrepresented. I didn't see anything identifying male victim, female perpetrator as being especially underreported compared to male victim, male perpetrator. Doesn't mean these variables aren't also affected by biases. Logically, they are. At the very least, checking should be done before using what was assumed as solid proof as a basis for reality. We should not make assumption…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 03:00 PM
2

On what can you base your opinion that perpetrators are predominantly male now that we know that past statistics are most likely affected by gender related social biases? Men found underepresented are the first showing this, but we can assume other statistics and studies are also affected. At the very least, we should question them and not take them as truth until they've been verified through new studies taking these biases into account.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 02:21 PM
0

Your first paragraph invalidates your second. Basic patern recognition skills are basic and fail to correctly make assumptions on complex global problematics. It naturally tends to oversimplify and overcompensate impressions and illusions. Common sense is very bad because of this. Common sense had racisms and the existence of witches in it historically. ...I'm telling that women have as much capacity for violence and rape though. Population can not be judged through individuals, and individuals …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 02:16 PM
1

And? Are you trying to say it's not solely up to that particular woman to decide what she deems traumatic to herself? Exactly. I mean, that external influences and pressure will make something traumatic regardless of the individual wants on the subject. And it's certainly valid for men, too. Of course, trauma, no matter their origins, are valids. It hurt the same no matter the sources. And? The average man it's still much stronger than the average woman. So? If 50% of women are only stronger tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 01:58 PM
2

I'm citing studied truth, though. You're going on a feeling and sociocultural biases.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 01:36 PM
5

You can't affirm this because the stats you're citing haven't been corrected for gender bias. It's very new, but we are finding that sociocultural views about men and women are causing biases in statistics that were once considered hard evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 01:34 PM
3

The statistics that show men as abusers are also sensible yo social biases, though, and now that we are starting to realise that, we should at least put them into question their legitimacy before stating them like they were unquestionable truth. At least until studies could confirm them once gender based biases have been taken into account. Right now, it make sense for them to overrepresente men and underepresent women as aggressors.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 01:28 PM
16

Except they are misrepresentation in studies and statistics about gender differences in violence. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1524838018816979 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 01:14 PM
1

Yes. But there is a cultural global misrepresentation on these subjects still. And it causes harm.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 01:09 PM
0

The fourth link I posted in my original post shows that trauma is heavily affected by personal interpretation of acts. Similar acts are made to both, but a gender will interpret that as abuse and be traumatised by it while the other will not because of the difference in the sociocultural image and norms around it. The strongest woman crush the weakest men, and there is considerable overlap between people other than them. The average is a poor judge of situations. Also, simply being in a group or…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 01:04 PM
5

Sexual arousal during rape is common. Women often get wet. Freesing or fawning are also common stress responses to sexual abuse. Also, what was he supposed to do? Hit her? Push her on the ground? If she ended hurt, who would end up on the police watch list? Relationship abuse and suicide happening a lot for both gender of emotionally immature people regardless of gender is in line with what I'm saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 12:59 PM
1

Except we see that old statistics and studies are biased by societal biaises. At least we should question assumptions about men and women based on studies and statistics while they haven't been controlled for these biaises we are discovering today. So we can not affirme than men are more dangerous as we know studies and data on the subject are biased. On the second point, I must admit, you're probably right. Yet they probably underestimate danger other women pose to them, but a simple look at th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 12:53 PM
7

My eyes were that I've got a guy friend who was threatened by her ex that she would kill herself if he refused to regularly have sex with her. Another friend was raped by a girl who thought he was "joking" when he was saying no. Myself I've been groped in a full tram by an old woman while she kissed my back. Our eyes didn't see the same things, yet I also have studies and sources on my side now.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 12:46 PM
7

But they are. We just have a natural difficulty accepting it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 12:39 PM
3

You don't understand how people estimate things. We are particularly bad with instinctive precise estimation, so we make caricatures of situations overestimating characteristics. The things people understand are "men are dangerous compared to the average," but the evidence I showed proves that this is a biased idea. The idea needs to shift from "men are dangerous compared to the average" to "people are dangerous regardless of gender" because evidence than men are dangerous compared to average ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 12:10 PM
–

Exactly. Another redditor gave me this link that explains the tendencies people have to see women in too much of a good light, which is useful in context. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect People have a big problem with accepting that women can do bad things at the same level than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:34 AM
4

Social biases framing men as aggressors and women as victims, which impact statistics and studies like in the research in my links. Here, another link to another redditor was nice enough to give me describing the effects that cause women aggressors to often be overlooked. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-are-wonderful_effect The fact is that because research and stats under represent women as aggressors and men as victims, people overestimate the danger men represent and underestimate the dan…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:30 AM
5

That's also the problem. For similar acts, men will not consider it assaults and women will. It's because of the cultural pressure around it. Men won't seek help, and because trauma depends a lot on personal interpretation of the act, women will suffer more.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:26 AM
-2

My point is not that there is less academic research on the sex abuse of men but that we are finding that the research and statistics on sexual abuse are being found of underepresenting men creating fake assumptions. There are probably other gender sensitive errors that are being made about sexual abuse and the flawed representation of reality. This causes reinforces the biaises that created the problem in the first place. It not only hurt men by framing them as predators but hurt women as overv…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 09:38 AM
19

I literally put links to 3 studies that say that men are underepresented as in "studies and official data are showing less male sexual assault victims compared to reality". But I agree that there is a big cultural push to not take men sexual assault seriously and this is actually part of why they are underepresented. I'm not saying women are especially to blame. It's a sociocultural problem. The group, containing both men and women, is the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 08:52 AM
9

Except new studies start showing misrepresentation of men in studies because of cultural bias. Make sense other studies are also sensible to these biases and overrepresente men as aggressors while underreprenting women as aggressors. Lack of studies on the possibility of bias in these other studies doesn't disprove their existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 08:47 AM
10

Underrepresented where? Studies and official statistics. Misrepresented how? As what? Underepresented compared to reality. (I might have made a linguistic mistake on this one. If so, i'm sorry, English isn't my first language)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 08:43 AM
3

I mean. Social skills is a broad term. If you talk about how to sell oneself, then, yes, it helps to get a date, but it won't help keep one if what you're selling is shit in the end. If you talk about active listening, conflict management, etc. Yes, it will help manage problems in the relationship and make it a bit longer, but it won't help if what the other person is seeking is fundamentally, not you. But, I agree on the incentive you put on talking to people. No matter who you are, your best b…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 06:37 PM
3

Okay, so you'd enjoy some conversation but not all ? That I can understand. On the rape thing, I've dated a sex worker. Not all do it by necessity, and some enjoy their work (yeah, I know, incredible!). It is a legalised official ptofession in my country, though, and there is still some abuse through human trafficking here despite quite severe law to protect sex workers so I imagine it might be a lot worse in country where everything is unofficial.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 07:09 PM
6

It doesn't sound really healthy. Why not just pay for sex instead of going into a relationship if conversations with your partner are annoying or boring? It seems easier and not necessarily more costly than a relationship when you take into account the things you'll have to pay in date or gift. Though, depending on where you live, it might be illegal.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 03:49 PM
20

It is difficult to talk about the world with someone who is shallow/boring/uninteresting. I think what OP is saying is that people who think that all women are like that can't really do this with a girlfriend, so what's the point?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 01:45 PM
3

Kinky I'm pretty sure you can find some people that would be into it in the bdsm community.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 01:42 PM
1

Being forced into being the therapist of your girlfriend is something I lived, too. Then, when you end up being the one who needs help, nobody is here for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 11:41 AM
2

That's fucked up. Hope you're doing ok now.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 11:30 AM
1

Date: An ultra feministe who told me she might be a lesbian and tried to convince me that when women abuse men, it's men's fault, while when men abuse women, it's also men's fault. A hyperactive girl (like too much for me and I'm litterally diagnosed with ADHD) that told me she was there for a week as she was staying with her usually long-distance boyfriend. Relationships: A girl who accused me from not being able to read her mind because that's apparently what you're supposed to be able to do w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 11:27 AM
1

Probably. Doesn't make what single people say untrue, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 06:09 PM
6

It never really got to a "front page debate" state, so not much. They are some feministes who think we should either make prostitution illegal for men or for everybody, though. Principally, because they think that no women could do this job willingly and don't understand that making it illegal won't stop people from doing it while just making it more risky.
/r/MensRights26/08/24 01:44 PM
12

In my country (Switzerland), not only is prostitution legal, but it is also an official taxable profession. It's quite recent for the official part, but it was asked by association for the protection of sex worker so that they could have better job security. And, something that is often forgotten, their is also quite a number of men prostitute.
/r/MensRights26/08/24 01:16 PM
1

There is a tendency, it's true, but it doesn't explain all. There are huge variations in mating strategies, and there are also quite a few women with high body count, short-term mating strategies, and men with low body count long-term strategies. In fact, I read a post linking a recent research showing that both drives can exist in parallel in an individual and that people with a huge amount of both were the most likely to engage in monogamous relationships then cheat. Also, the "or none at all"…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 07:42 AM
5

Why are women single life better than men? Answer: Because they get attention and affection on a regular basis even outside of relationships. Men just don't. Relationships are the only way for them to get that. The way is not to make single women's lives worse. It's to make single men's lives better.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 07:13 AM
2

I think you're missing an important point. Most men can't get any form of attention or affection outside of relationships. Women get attention and affection all the time without being in a relationship. So, I agree that making single women's lives worse is going the wrong way, but I think it's more about making single men's lives better than women relationships better. Women are already in a position of power in relationships, and the inequality in expectations between women and men to be good p…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 07:10 AM
7

Like either neuroatipical, traumatised, or very awkward. All very anticonformist, too. All this is thrown together in the high dopamin environment that is an anime convention. And you know how some people tend to mistake porn for reality? These people tend to mistake hentai for reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 03:06 PM
10

I've still got ptsd. Anime conventions have surprisingly fucked up social circles. I got more success with dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 08:23 AM
-1

50-50 with a culture encouraging polyamoury, open relationships, and sexual positivity. Scarcity of relationships in our equal rights society is created by the fact that mono relationship represents a high risk and high personal investment with no real interest anymore as division of tasks and roles in a home isn't a thing anymore. Women don't need a man to work and bring back ressources home, and men don't get someone to take care of the home and raise children in their place. Yet, mono relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 12:37 PM
1

I mean, the actual status quod shows that women are the ones doing the choosing, actually in a 50-50 society. It makes sense that people advantaged by the status quod would want to keep it, and the ones disadvantaged would want to change it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 12:09 PM
5

It's kind of expected of men to take the pain, so a lot of men just stop considering their own well-being, emotional or physical. There are a lot of things that would be considered horrible abuse for a woman and a chance for men. Go to bed and have someone of the opposed gender wake you up with sex without it having been discussed first ? If you're a woman, you directly see the abuse. If you're a man, a lot of the time, you'll just tell yourself you're lucky because it's expected of you to want …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 07:57 PM
2

Then I agree. You shouldn't shame other men for their personal preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 05:13 PM
4

So, if I understand you correctly, from your point of view, "normal" men only want virgins, don't care about romance or being nice, are perverts and date women much younger than them ? And any guy who isn't like that only pretend as a way to get attention ? Because what you just described as "normal" is a caricature of toxic masculinity, and it is great that men are trying to get away from this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 05:04 PM
7

It's one of these instances where I have to say this: Women overestimate their chances to be abused, and men underestimate theirs. I've known a few guy who's drink have been spiked (verified at the hospital). All of you stay careful and don't leave your drink alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 09:21 PM
17

Personally, it would rub me the wrong way as it is usually girls that aren't interested in me that would say that to me. It goes alongside phrases like "you deserve to find someone who makes you happy" or "why can't I find someone like you!". When you're interested in a girl and she's been clear she wasn't interested in me it just makes me feel like the other one is full of shit and that she's saying that, despite all my qualities, I'm just not enough. It becomes even worse as, if you stay frien…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 08:37 AM
1

Men have this right, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 07:21 AM
-1

So, based on what you're saying, you never treat men and women differently?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 07:19 AM
8

That it is an incel cesspool that promotes rights of men over women instead of equal rights and consideration.
/r/MensRights11/08/24 03:40 PM
2

They don't care as they can see the value of a woman as an individual beyond that. Of course, there are men that objectify women, but those that aren't complete assholes are able to create a connexion with women who have a completely different lifestyle than them and find value in the difference. It's not your hobby, your carrier, or your education that matter for them but who you are as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 09:23 PM
-1

Because OP didn't say where he was bartending, yet your arguing the environment wasn't especially open to flirting despite not knowing what it was.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 04:08 PM
-1

Have you been to clubs then ? It is not really my scene, but heavy flirting was involved each time I went. There are a lot of types of places where someone can be a bartender.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 03:39 PM
3

I didn't say men don't do that. I said men do that by lack of alternative. Women are allowed to have specific problems men usually don't have the same way men have some problems women usually don't have. For example, men barely express affection and compliment each other while complaining about their deep lack of affection and poor self-esteem. Women usually show each other and affirm each other all the time. It is a problem men have that most women don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 03:34 PM
3

I'm not referring to all women or all men because we are talking about tendencies. People have an incredible level of variety. That doesn't mean we can't find global trends. Everybody is "damaged" in a way or another, and there is no global basis for "healthy" behaviour. Some people might have the best time of their life dating strangers and having one night stands. Some people would commit suicide if they hit stuck in a "standard" long-term relationship. What I say is that their definitely a te…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 02:25 PM
2

Clubs? Places where people go to dance and socialise? Maybe a bar is not a good word, but there are loads of places where one can work as a bartender that are social hotspots.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 02:11 PM
5

You're talking about a different kind of projecting. What I mean to say is that men don't feel the need to pursue strangers because women around them don't fit the image they have of the perfect partner. They would happily date unperfect women they are close to. But, and this answer your second point, women often don't date men emotionally close to them, so they have to search elsewhere. This is why they are as many men dating strqngers as women. But, one point on which you're right is that men …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 02:06 PM
5

I've never met a guy who would have preferred to date a stranger instead of a close friend. Men project a lot less than women. It isn't about finding the ideal mate for men. It's about finding one they enjoy the company of.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 01:46 PM
10

To be fair, bars are hotspots for hooking up. Alcohol helps, too. It's like you hanging out where all the lonely and horny people hang out and being surprised they try to seduce you. But, yeah, there is a barrier that make a lot of women close themselves to guys they're emotionally close to if sexual and romantic interests haven't been expressed soon in the relationship. I've never understood why and I find it dumb as I keep seeing women try to get guys they barely know into relationship and the…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 12:30 PM
8

Not really. I remember a psychology course I took in which it was shown that proximity is the principal factor for matching. People in small towns have needs too and they don't let the lack of opportunities stop them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 12:21 PM
2

They continue fighting. The message that isn't appealing to the general public is that men are victims too. Do you suggest we change it? Isn't the point of this kind of movement to show unappealing truth? To raise awareness?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 08:40 PM
2

... the organisation in the link started his history in 1926. It's not bad PR. It's just that most people can't see men as victims and don't care. I suppose that you are talking about r/mensright then ? So, tell me, when was the last time you saw a feministe movement ban potential members for misandry? Of course, men who hate women will be attracted to men rights organisations. Women who hate men are also attracted to women rights organisations. Why is it seen as an issue only on the men side? B…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 05:10 PM
1

Depends. In my country, rape is specifically defined as penetrating someone against his or her will. A woman forcing a guy to penetrate her can't be judged as rape. It can be judged as molestation but not rape. Which means lower sentences.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 04:04 PM
1

It's worse for men. From laughing cops to just less condanation for women in general, the system just work the same for them. It also is a lot harder for men to accept that they were victims. Men have been taught since birth that they have to be strong. Accepting that they not only couldn't defend themselves but also need help now is soul crushing levels of identity destruction for men. Most gazlight themselves into thinking it's alright, than they can take it but it's not. They develop resentme…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 04:02 PM
2

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men%27s_rights_movement?wprov=sfla1 Like this one?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 03:53 PM
2

You're completely right. In my life, I've known a girl who threatened repeatedly to take her own life if his ex didn't have sex with her and nothing happened. I've known another who "jokingly" pushed her ex into having sex with her even though he was saying no repeatedly. He cried at the end, apparently. Nothing happened to her. It extends even outside of sex however. I've been slapped across the face by a girl I barely talked to as a "joke" and nothing happened to her. A few years later, I saw …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 03:25 PM
1

Only when they abuse children, though. It's because children are easily seen as victims. Men aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 03:11 PM
0

I think more of what is already happening. Rise of misogynistic ways of thinking and antagonisation of women. Sex work and pornography will become even more of a lucrative industry, and women who objectify themselves or entreprises who sell women as a service will get a socioeconomical advantage and spread their influence. On the other hand, competition among women for a high-quality mate will become harsher and more demanding. They'll become more desperate and either will agree to nonmonogamous…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 08:06 PM
–

I'm a guy and had a few relationships. First, I do not agree with your view about the impossibility of average men getting success with women. It is, however, an exhausting process as you're the one expected to stand out, entertain, always sayisfy their expectations, and, frankly, from my experience, it is not worth it. Because even if you get into a relationship, you're never truly equal as they always know in the back of their mind that they can find someone else in less than 5 minutes. So, re…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 01:41 PM
4

The fact that it was a thing that always existed doesn't mean it isn't a symptom, though. Most symptoms are natural reactions from the body to fight an illness. It's completely fair to imagine it happened at different points of history to fight diverse problems in society.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 04:26 PM
–

In a vacuum, I'd choose bad sex to no sex the same way I'd choose bad food instead of no food. But, sex means interacting with someone on an intimate level, and my past experiences left me emotionally exhausted from this. To say the truth, I'm afraid of involving myself with anyone now. The mind games, constant expectations, and complete disregard for my own desire just destroyed a part of me that hasn't healed yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 08:17 PM
–

You misunderstand me. I'm not abusing myself. I'm just OK with doing stuff I'm meh about. You can try some things you're not exactly into and still be fine emotionally. It can even be very rewarding to see the pleasure you give your partner. Of course, I also have hard limits, but there is a lot of stuff I can try before reaching them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 07:31 PM
–

I try to listen to them. I avoid judging them, and I try to share my point of view and help them find solutions when I can. I did end up burning myself out doing that, though, and I started to attract people who needed a lot of help but never were ready to help themselves. When you're down and can't help them anymore, they disappear. So, I'm learning to moderate myself on the helping side of things while recovering.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 07:27 PM
–

Reality would be a lot better if we at least tried to make each other happy. Individualism is killing happiness all over the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:56 PM
–

Lack of choice of partners that are interested in you. It's a constant problem for most men. Also, personally, I try to satisfy my partners sexually even if what they ask isn't exactly my thing, and I never shame them for their interests. I feel like most men (those that care at least) do this too, so seeing so many women consider even trying what I do naturally as equal to their partners raping them is quite upsetting.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:41 PM
–

Exactly. The use of porn isn't what causes issues. It is a coping mechanism to other issues like, for example, sexual frustration.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:28 PM
–

Things that are needed by individuals to have a happy, healthy life. You may not believe it, but sexual satisfaction is a need for many.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:23 PM
–

You do realise that a lot of guys who have vanilla sexual tastes can't find women willing to have sex with them, too ? These guys also only have porn or prostitut.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:21 PM
–

So, he leaves her. Now what ? Finding someone else is a lot harder for a man than for a woman, and he's still unsatisfied. More porn? Prostitution?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:13 PM
–

You'd be really surprised. Romans had orgies thousands of years ago, and they were, by far, not an exception in history.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:11 PM
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Okay, I stopped being with them now. What ? Finding someone else as a guy is a lot harder than for women, and I'm still unsatisfied. It just means more porn in the end or buying sex work.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:08 PM
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You don't read historical sex letters ? There are many from famous people around the world. They're often unhinged.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:06 PM
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If we stop caring about each other's problems, society has no reason to exist, which isn't usually a great situation for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:05 PM
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They did place expectations for them to satisfy them sexually and fetish has been a forever part of humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 06:04 PM
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I do both personally. Porn is like any other content. You can see through other people eyes and inspiration and stimulate your own imagination with it. I stopped masturbating to porn though as it easily can become a habit that leaves lost when you're without external visual stimulation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:59 PM
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Not really. Do you expect people to be able to satisfy all the fantasies of their partner? All my exes watched porn. Me too. We sometimes watched it together, and it was fun. But if you're not sexually satisfied, it's also understandable to watch it more frequently and it can easily become an addiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:55 PM
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What about doing sex act you do enjoy and she don't mind ? Or more exactly that she mind only because she don't care about your pleasure and is lazy ? Men do things they don't especially enjoy all the time to please their partner and feel OK about it because they care about their partner satisfaction. Doing only what you want in bef while not caring about satisfying your partners is egoist.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:50 PM
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Most men put work they don't want to do into sex to satisfy their partner, though. If you're bad in bed as a man because you're lazy, you're ridiculised. Why should women be held to another standard?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:45 PM
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There is absolutely no research who confirms that, though. All that tried failed to find causality.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:43 PM
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Define "act as porn stars" ? Had they plenty of fetishes and particular desir? Yes. Were they expecting particular moove or aesthetics propagated by the porn industry now ? They wouldn't know what it looked like. But you can find some quite particulate old sex letters from famous people from all times. Fetishes have always been strong in human history.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:42 PM
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Yes, they were. But not satisfying your husband was seen as a shame at the time, so there was more pressure on women. Also, the history of sex is quite full of variety when it comes to particular practice, so don't try to make it a "modern degeneracy" problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:37 PM
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What makes you think he could find someone kinky enough if he stopped dating her?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:35 PM
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Men and women are accountable for their lack of action, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:32 PM
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When are women going to take responsibility for themselves and stop blaming men for their issues? If you can say the same exact argument while inversing the roles and have it still make sense, it isn't a good argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:30 PM
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We are equal, so we are supposed to care for each other's needs equally. Either that or we stop caring about other people needs all together, and society has no point anymore
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 05:28 PM
3

I'm not an American, but normally, it isn't the prosecution that sends people to prison, right ? Their job is to prove him guilty, but it isn't them who can make the decision ?
/r/MensRights24/07/24 01:34 PM
2

Do you have a source saying that?
/r/MensRights24/07/24 01:25 PM
1

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2671853/ For example, this one who links aggressive beliefs in the family environment to more aggressive behaviour from children and explore how to moderate aggressive behaviour in children by modifying their familial environment. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7080605/ Or this one who explores the impact of family environment on a child self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 12:32 PM
2

Yes, still, looking only at behavioural genetics doesn't explain the full picture of the effect of the environment on behaviour. A great deal exists outside of it, and the actual consensus is that the family environment still has a great deal of influence on behaviour and the future psychological aspects of an individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 10:18 AM
2

Ok, it includes the influence of the environment on genes expression, but there is a big part of the influence of the family environment that doesn't depend on the difference between genes expression and instead is uniquely a psychologic phenomenon.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 09:36 AM
1

Heritability has nothing to do with the familial environment. It's a genetic variable. In fact, the familial environment is part of the global extended environment in a sociopsychological context.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 08:56 AM
3

You greatly underestimate the power of social pressure. If you tell someone they are a math nerd enough time, they'll believe it and do a lot to be like a math nerd to maintain a stable sense of identity. Our brain role is to keep telling us a story that is consistent with our beliefs. If we believe we are something, our brains will go to great lengths to prove it to us.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 08:51 AM
5

There is a problem here. How do you know if a boy misbehave because it's a genetic predisposition boy who has or if it's the influence of how boys are shown in our culture? There was an experiment. Usually, boys do better than girls in maths while girls do better in English. To test why, one experimental class of children was told all year long by their teacher the reverse, than boy where usually better in English and girls were usually better in maths. At the end of the years, the results in ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 08:46 AM
1

The problem I see about the argument of "men should make their own movement" is that men are expected to care about women's rights and well-being. If men don't their seen as horrible and misogynistic. But women aren't expected to care about men rights and well-being? It's hypocrite and sexist.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 08:33 AM
2

Patriarchy is a product of how we adapted to our environment. Sedentarisation and agriculture increased workload, which enforced the separation of tasks in a home. It also increased food output, which created bigger colonies, which created the necessity for better management, which created hierarchy. It also created food surplus, which was stocked, making colonies point of interest for others, which led to war, pillaging, and the necessity for an army to protect one self. A few men can impregnat…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 08:25 AM
0

First, gender roles and patriarchy are enforced by women. Not all women are feministe, and a lot just goes with whatever culture their into, no matter if it's misogynistic or patriarchal. Second, for a long time, teaching was a man exclusive job, so their influence was their. Third, children are affected by media. Today, it is the Internet, but there was a time when it was a children's book. Old childrens book aren't known for their progressive views. But for the part where their is less pressur…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 08:05 AM
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Improve on what was said instead of keeping on making a fool out of myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 07:22 PM
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Nope, my parents are still together and happy. A rarity nowadays. They're Christians, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 06:46 PM
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I am everything but conservative thought. I am as progressive as one can get.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 06:33 PM
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I talk to them ?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:59 PM
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Depends. If you're hot but a shitty person or overly naive, I doubt you'll have good relationships. But you'll have more choices so you can choose the best pick as long as you're capable of recognising it. If you're ugly, you have a lot less choice and are isually left with the rejects of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:59 PM
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The problem is the difference between reality and what people want reality to be. There is always a push in people to idealise the world so we don't see the problems. Women feel better in a world where anybody can get the partner that will make them happy, but it just isn't how things work. If you want my advice for dating, the thing that worked for me, dating is like marketing. You're a product, and you need to find ways to sell it. Find your customer base, try different ways to get them engage…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:44 PM
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It's hard to keep a healthy, stable friend group in today's world, though. People never stop moving from one thing to another. I kept mine for a while by being the one organising everything, but when I stopped, everybody just went their own way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:16 PM
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But are the relationship they get worth it and healthy?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:11 PM
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Attractiveness is also fluid. Nice people, people we spend good times with, people who share our interests seem more attractive to us than random people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:11 PM
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I agree with what you're saying, but from my experience, there is an enormous number of women who live in constant disappointment.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:09 PM
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There are many people into litteral turds though. Everybody has his public.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:07 PM
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I'll add 3) You need to be proactive. Awkwardly meeting people and never doing anything for any relationships to evolve won't do you any good
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:05 PM
2

Depends. You can find anything you want in Switzerland if you know where to look. People are shy, though, so social life often feels boring for newcomers and travellers. I'm from the French part of Switzerland, though, and we are known to be more fun than our German counterpart and less work focused. Next week, there is the Paléo festival near Nyon in Vaud, for example, which is one of the major open air music festivals in Europe and the biggest in Switzerland.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 04:39 PM
3

I live in Switzerland, which has a quite normal average by world standard. Obese smokers do have the worst smell, but I find it worse than normal, even in people with average weight who smoke heavily. I'm quite sensible to smell, though, so that might also affect my perception.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 04:12 PM
3

It depends. If she's not a frequent smoker, like only at party, etc, the smoker. If she smokes heavily, that's going to be the overweight as I find that women who smoke heavily have horrible body smells, especially in their private parts. But an overweight woman to the point where walking is a problem is a hard pass for me while I wouldn't say a heavy smoker is a hard pass. I have dated both, and that's my personal conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 09:03 AM
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Your one letter off! ENFP 😁
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 10:10 AM
2

There is definitely a market, yes. People like to show off. In fact, there is probably a business plan somewhere here, even without involvement from a government. You could have an enterprise selling and advertising full super marriage or "True Marriage" with premade contracts and custom ceremonies, and it will probably make quite a bit of money. Don't know if it would be a healthy social practice, though, and the main audience would probably not be a part of this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:53 AM
4

It is a talent. You're exposing weakness in the system.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:42 AM
3

This. I feel so good in chaos, while structure is physically painful for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:40 AM
5

I have ADHD and I can confirm this. A lot of people hate arguing with me because arguing gives me energy while succing their own. Took me a while to understand as a child why people got mad after I argued with them for more than 1h.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:38 AM
2

Well, I have ADHD so I'm categorised as neurodivergent and I think that neurodivergent people are usually more attracted and open to nonconformative opinions and discussions because they naturally have trouble fitting in. And this sub is filled with this. Though invading your dm and harassing you because you're a normal guy is dumb. Even more so if we're trying to actually have interesting discussions where multiple points of view can clash.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:33 AM
3

Ok, I understand the problem that blocked my understanding now. For me, marriage is something between two people that really just involve them, not the world around them. The important part for me is the proof of commitment to each other, not the world. And, with all my respect, I feel like the world just doesn't care if you're more committed to each other. People will think about it for five seconds before going on with their life. So, it may not have the impact you expect. But, I don't know, r…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:23 AM
2

I'm sorry, but I really struggle to understand your motivation for this. The closest thing in my mind is how some BDSM relationships work where some people are interested in pushing their commitment to the dynamic to the extreme. Is it something similar to you ?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:06 AM
2

But why do you need to show it and legally bind each other then ? What good would it do ?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:52 AM
2

I meant, why would you want this level of commitment? For the contract, I'm far from being a legal expert, but isn't it possible to sign a contract with your partner wich would make you pay the one wanting a divorce an astronomical amounts making the possibility of divorce the equivalent of an economical death? People do prenup like this, so why couldn't you also do it after a few years of marriage?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:50 AM
2

So, for you, cutting each other escape route is a show of commitment, which you consider also a show of love if I understand correctly? For me, it sounds like everything except love and commitment. If you have to legally force each other to stay together, it means you neither love nor are committed to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:37 AM
3

But... why ? And isn't it already possible in a way through a contract ?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:28 AM
9

I mean, it's advantageous for men in the dating world to be manipulative forceful assholes in the short term. If you don't care about the long-term damage you inflict, dating is easy. It isn't healthy as a society to allow such behaviour, though. So, saying women act like this because men don't have real standards, and so they can just continue doing it with someone else whenever they want don't sound right to me. It is more because they aren't holden accountable for the suffering they cause. If…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 12:35 PM
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Yes, and what would make monks more prone to accidents and injuries compared to the average guy ?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 02:07 PM
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I mean, except maybe murder, I don't really see other things that might affect these stats. Even more so, with the difference between men and women observed.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 01:16 PM
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That's what I'm saying. There are also environmental factors that can increase them. Different people work differently on this aspect, and we can't just put biology on the side for everyone. It matters greatly, more than for others, for a sensible part of humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:41 PM
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All you said is right, except for "biological instincts don't really matter anymore". They still do matter very much and have quite an impact on the human psyche. But, yes, human sexuality is crazy weird compared to others because it's as much a social tool as a manner to reproduce, and the crasy evolution and hypercomplexity of the human psyche make it even worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:25 PM
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We are the main characters of today. Let's act as if we really can change the world for the best. Let's start the project, let's chase dreams. Let's revolt against oppression. Wort case scenario? We die a little sooner.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:21 PM
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You can't remplace the need for one form of intimacy with another. Different people have different needs, and people who need sexual intimacy can't just replace it with whatever. Sex is a form of intimacy that can't be replaced by another, and neither can replace another.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:18 PM
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Implying suicide
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:15 PM
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Male Peacocks are killed much more frequently comparatively because of their flashy long tail feathers made to attract females. Peacocks are also an endangered species. Genetical resilience is a gradient. Of course, in the right environment, some species can live well with shitty genetical resilience, but they are the first to die when global change arise. Variety and adaptability are what made humans conquer the world. Leaving that on the side now that we're comfortable doesn't seem a smart cho…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:14 PM
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I agree. Spreading genes shouldn't be really that important. What I was trying to say is that our genes don't agree with that and that we are made to feel very powerful things and to be really hurt if we don't have sex because our genes want us to do it even if it's the last thing we do.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:05 PM
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If we do, we do. Things matter only if we don't. So let's act if we won't.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:03 PM
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But, for a lot of people, sex is a part of intimacy. Sex isn't like masturbation. It is an intimate act, a way to connect to others that people need as much as other forms of intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:01 PM
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Yes, but it's just social pressure. I don't know if we can call this moral or ethical in the most fundamental definitions.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:58 AM
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Yes, I have. Multiple days without food, too. Depression does that to you. Mental suffering is worth. But I can't really talk about being near starvation, though. But it happens. People starve themselves and cut themselves because physical pain is an escape from mental pain, which is worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:48 AM
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You're right, but it doesn't resolve any societal problems, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:23 AM
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It is often true, but I also think people often underestimate the importance of sexual intimacy for the mental health of an individual. And by that, I mean emotional intimacy in a sexual way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:22 AM
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But we have a solution today through contraceptive. People can still be genetic dead end and still have sex. The problem is the pain and urges which accumulate and create problems for the individual and society. Sex is a solution, and it doesn't mean reproduction. So, for me, sex work is a solution.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:20 AM
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Depend on the man though but generally yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:16 AM
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The best reproductive scenario in any ecosystem is having as many babies as possible with as many different combinations of genes as possible without overpopulate, though. And men don't have the same limits to their potential numbers of babies compared to women, so it makes sense that women would be more naturally selective. Yet, a lot of different partners still are an advantage as it assures genetical variety and resilience amongst the next generation. It might be why people cheat so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:08 AM
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Nope, because life prefers a "good enough" strategy better than "the best" strategy. It is better to spread bad genes than none as long as they can still survive and breed. Spreading good genes is just a lucky accident most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:03 AM
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That's just because we haven't evolved yet to take into account modern contraception methods. In a thousand years, the need to have actual children will probably be stronger than the need to have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:02 AM
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It is. Not potentially mortal (except if you count suicide), but some people experience real distress and suffering from the lack of physical intimacy. It is literally an evolutionary imperative to have sex and we are programmed mostly to accomplish this and survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:59 AM
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Yep, they are not. They still are hurt by lack of sexual intimacy, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:54 AM
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So if women need to cry about their emotional needs, it's OK, but not when men do it ?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:53 AM
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Eat only the same bread all your life, and you'll start to want to kill yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:52 AM
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I'm a man and masturbating don't satisfy the emotional part of my sexual urges. Not all men are the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:51 AM
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Bur... self-control is a biological dependent process. You can really fuck up your capacity to self-control with frontal-lobe injuries for exemple.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:50 AM
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For you maybe but not for everybody. And intimate physical needs aren't only a question of libido. It is also an emotional imperative for some people
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:48 AM
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Not for everybody no.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:47 AM
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Except people still do break societies rules to meet their urges. In fact, demanding to a population to manage their urges using law, for example, doesn't work. Alcool consumption spiked during the prohibition, the same is happening with drugs today. Some people punch their bosses, too. In fact, self-control isn't something that everybody has in equal part at birth, and many things can hurt this capacity. Trauma, for example, or frontal lobe injuries. Some people are fine clenching their teeth a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:47 AM
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I believe too that more harm is done by forcing someone than not. Doesn't mean lack of sex doesn't cause harms though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:38 AM
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Except relationships, as seen today, are a social construct. We needed sex before relationships were a thing. In fact, evolutionary psychology theories that we probably lived in societies made only of casual sex before our out of Africa migration. When we started to travel and food became more scares, we switched to 3 to 5 years of relationships (there is still a spike in divorce during these periods today) and, full life relationships when we became sedentary to better manage sharing of tasks i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:36 AM
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Is there? I mean, love is an emotion, and you can't force an emotion. There is an ethical and moral obligation for parents to take care of their children, but if they don't love them, it isn't something in their control.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:28 AM
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Because beating your meat isn't fulfilling for some people? Different people need different things, and masturbation isn't always the solution. But there are also a lot of people here who think that sex will fill the hole in there heart because they never really experienced it. Spoiler, it won't.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:25 AM
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Some men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:23 AM
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Because some people kind of do and people here love to generalise?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:22 AM
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Depend on the individual. For some, it is as much if not more important. For others, it isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:21 AM
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Depends a lot on the person. Human sexuality is wild in his variety, and some people need sex and don't like masturbation for example. But, in the case of men, there is a cultural incentive to have sex. If you don't have sex as a man, you're seen as a loser and undesirable. This means that, for men, lack of sex also often means feelings of personal failure.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:11 AM
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Well, most people pursue sex too ? Both with romance and sex, there is suffering when no results are achieved.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:06 AM
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I mean, it is harmful. But it would be harmful for the other one to force itself, too. It isn't a pretty black and white problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 09:56 AM
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Power and authority coupled with puritanist belief make people into pedophile?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 09:53 AM
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I can't find results for the normal population but for priest the number I found was 4.4% so around 1 every 20 priest and we consider that it is probably a lot higher because the culture of the church make it really easy to hid. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6676731/
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 09:50 AM
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Apparently, nuns suicide rate is lower, and monks suicide rate is higher. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-biosocial-science/article/abs/unnatural-deaths-among-nuns-and-monks-is-there-a-biological-force-behind-male-external-cause-mortality/4FFAD723DE3B5C4B5303EEA83BF27EB8 It is also necessary to keep in mind that these are personal choices of lifestyles so it filter already a big part of people who couldn't live in these conditions and that Christians practices of confession an…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 09:44 AM
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Except our brain is kind of wired to place lack of sex on the same level as lack of food or lack of water. What I'm saying is a generalisation, though, as their is a lot of variation in people libido, sexuality etc. But, generally, evolution made us reproduce even if it cost our lives as it is the only way for our genes to survive. It's interesting that you talk about lack of food because it is nearly the same part of our brain that is activated when we lack food and when we lack sex. Refusing o…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 09:37 AM
2

Am I ?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 08:35 AM
2

To make bad generalities about a group of people is insulting. It's like saying, "Most women are dumb". Some people think like that. It doesn't make it an ok thought. She can do whatever she wants. Still, it is sad if it stops her from searching solutions to her unhappiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:42 PM
0

I don't want to pressure women into dating. I don't bother with people who are miserable. I don't dislike women who want to date. You projected thoughts and intentions onto me that just aren't true. For why men don't leave women that aren't interested alone, however, compared to those that want to date them, the answer is quite clear. There aren't enough women who want to date them, and the cost/return investment in effort is a lot more advantageous for men who are forceful in consequence. That …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:35 PM
2

I do leave people be. You do seem to care very much about what I think is wrong or unhealthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 12:30 PM
2

I don't personalize it ? We should care about people thinking wrong and unhealthy stuff. If we don't, we can't complain when things inevitably go south in our society.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 10:38 AM
-1

Blaming one misery on the quality of men in general kinda piss me off as I am a man. I'm open to constructive criticism, but this isn't it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 10:17 AM
-1

Yes and ?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 10:13 AM
1

I also think one problem is "what women see as a good man ?" It is known that women are naturaly more selective than men about their potential partners and a lot have grown with romanticised versions of an "ideal prince charming" who is rich, gentle, charismatic, beautiful etc as their exemple of ideal partner. From my experience, when men see some things they like in a woman, they add her to their list of potential partner and are ready to ignore a lot of her bad sides. When women see things th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 06:32 AM
-2

If they are happy, great. But I've known too many women who say this as an excuse just to stay in their loneliness and misery while never trying to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 06:20 AM
4

You have a point. Personally, I love women with a high body count, but I can see how the general attitude around this pushes women away from dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 06:18 AM
3

I mean, if a woman tells me things like this unprompted (which happened a few times), I will probably tell her my thoughts on the subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 06:13 AM
-4

From my experience, these women aren't happy. They just use this as an excuse to wallow in misery without trying anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 06:11 AM
3

You don't need to justify it, but some do anyway even when you didn't ask. In that context, saying it's because "good men are too rare" or because "most men aren't good enough" is kind of insulting.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 06:09 AM
3

People here seem to describe alternative styles. I love alternative styles personally, so I'll go the other way. Heavy and very evident plastic surgery coupled with heavy make-up and trashy flashy overly sexualised look (like some caricatural prostitute like looks) is the most effective way to have me run away from you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 05:07 PM
1

All of this together? Clearly. In fact, I knew a girl who dressed like this because she wanted to scare men away. As separated elements, though, I've seen girls really achieve great esthetic with each of these. Tatoo can be a hit or miss too because it goes from a violated public toilet look to the Sistine chapel, depending on the quality of the art.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 05:02 PM
4

It's kind of a hit or miss for me. Some girls pull it off really well, while others don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 04:57 PM
1

I mean, I know a lot of women who are able to tolerate shit level of standards from their partner if it means they get a lot of money in exchanges. Of course, their also those who have impossible standards, but they always end up in relationships that's below those standards at one point or another from my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 11:49 AM
1

I have at least one of those characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 10:26 AM
1

Kinda ? It's more of a cost/benefit thing from my experience. Being nice and supportive do score yourself points, but women are able to endure a lot more shit from your part if you're hot, rich, and give amazing sexual experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 10:21 AM
1

Does it ? There are a lot of people wanting to be sugar babies, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 10:18 AM
0

I have questions about your answer. I'm a gifted guy (130 IQ), and I've had an unusually wide education in terms of subjects studied, which extend to the university level all this completed with a vast range of personal interests. People say to me that I'm smart and that I've got interesting ideas too. But I have ADHD and got multiple burnouts because of this that crippled my personal career and general productivity. Still, I would say that I've got this "ambitious" side you describe, too, but I…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 10:15 AM
1

Yes. Or, to be more precise, different studies of religious groups show both more and less cheating than in control groups. But it has been shown that religious people under report cheating behaviour. They hid it more. Thus creating under representation of cheating among religious people in many studies. https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=10678&context=etd#:~:text=However%2C%20research%20has%20been%20mixed,other%20studies%20finding%20no%20relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 09:14 AM
1

Actually, no religion aggravates the problem, usually as it is linked with higher puritanism. The problem is the lack of acknowledgement of people needs culturally, which push them to hide instead of talking and finding solutions.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 07:55 PM
2

Not one study. Different studies have a wide range of variations depending on the population. More sexualy puritan culture cheats more while more liberal and sex positive culture cheats less usually.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 11:51 AM
1

I also think most people aren't malicious. But I think our current sociocultural norm isn't adapted to true human sexuality. We are very social beings, tribal even, and the current world, since the industrial revolution, tends to push ultra individuality and reduced social structures. Monogamy isn't necessarily the norm either and appeared out of a necessity to split tasks in a home during the agricultural revolution. A lot of people think human society might have been more equal before this ste…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 11:14 AM
1

I agree. I just used cheating as an example of "immoral" coupling behaviour that happens a lot. I was thinking as more than 50% for "most". But it isn't really what I was asking. What I'm asking is what makes you think it most people wouldn't do it ? From my experience most people are in denial about doing it but still do and the research I've seen, thought not exactly on this subject seems to corroborate the prevalence of an instinctual style of coupling behaviour in human which priorities offs…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 10:07 AM
1

I agree even if I feel like your explanation is a representation outside of societal pressure and expectations that influence these dynamics.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 09:57 AM
4

They have more opportunity to do so, and I think that it was what was said in the post.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 09:56 AM
4

That's interesting, and I mostly agree. The thing I'm not sure to understand is your first argument. Of course, we can't affirmate with certainty precise ideas like "it as much of a thing for this group than for the other group" but you can't also affirmate the argument that it isn't? Also, I don't think we can see a real amount of difference between how much men cheat compared to women, but I do agree that men more often cheat searching for physical fitness. They also more often cheat with mult…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 09:54 AM
-2

What makes you say most people don't do it ? Break ups and cheating is pretty widespread ?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 09:45 AM
0

Studies show that anything between 20% to 70% of people in a relationship cheats. We also see big spikes of breaks up around a few months then again after 3 to 5 years into a relationship. Breaking up and cheating is, on an evolutionary perspective, a normal mechanism of human reproductive behaviour and genetic variety among offspring create genetic resilience, which motivate this kind of behaviours.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 09:43 AM
1

I agree with you, but I don't think it's a low value problem. I think it is what most humans are programmed to do, and the only thing hiding it is societal pressure. It is also known that around 40-50% of people in couples cheat, so I'm also pretty certain human sexuality isn't meant to be monogamous. We have limited time and energy, and it is quite natural that we invest it in the best people we find when we can no matter the moralistic denial around this subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 09:38 AM
1

It's not an evolutionary one. Evolution doesn't care about making people happy. It cares about making people survive long enough to breed.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 09:12 AM
1

I xan assure you that not all does or cares. Also, their is something to be said about the culture importance of a "real" family in our society and it's impact on children. Would children still care about their parents being separated in a society where it wouldn't be considered important ? We can't be sure. Also, traumatised children aren't a problem on an evolutionary point of view as long as they reproduce themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 07:59 AM
1

Not really. I know some women do make the difference with reality, but, like some men, some women don't. I'm not saying it isn't fun or that it is wrong to read them. I'm saying a lot of people, regardless of gender have a tendency to mistake fantasy and reality. I could even say we all, in some way, do because it is studied that suggestion affects subjects unconsciously even if direct and known.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 07:54 AM
1

It depends. You could learn things about the average woman who consomate a lot of those novels. But, these novels are addressed to a specific profile of women. Those who buy a lot of these to escape reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:12 PM
1

Maybe but, conter argument, many men don't seem to realise reality isn't like porn. The same thing could be said about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:09 PM
3

It's the difference between fetish and healthy relationships. I sincerely hope your girlfriend can prioritise the healthy side because mainy choose the former when under pressure.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:27 PM
0

I think you're touching a very interesting point here that I'm slowly starting to realise. Most people IRL are boring and uninteresting, so we tend to project an idealised version of what we want unto them. And what tends to be popular, sadly, represents this. Why did Fifty Shades of Grey become this symbol? Because a lot of IRL women really think it is an ideal, exciting relationship. Why do people often throw themselves in obvious toxic relationships? Because they don't know better and, probab…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:25 PM
1

Discipline, persistence, etc. can quickly become obsession, obstination, and compulsive need for control. Everything in moderation is the key, but it doesn't make good romance stories.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:20 PM
2

Well, evolution has conditioned mankind to most often than not choose sex instead of healthy lasting relationships. It's sad, but people who make children without thinking about consequences still send their genes to continue their dna legacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:17 PM
3

Because they canonically don't verify if their most aged citizens are still alive and still count them in their stats ? Also, a lot of fatty fish and rice.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:15 PM
2

It's even easier for poor men of asian descent because chiselled abs mean a lack of fat in this area more than protuding muscles. Look at contestants from strong men competitions and see peak male form. Spoiler, it's a kind of beer belly museum. Often, chiselled abs is more of a sign of malnourishment, and the desire to achieve them often lead men to anorexia.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:13 PM
1

I enjoy reading some Shoujo every now and then personally. The problem I have with a lot of women oriented romance novels is that it is often kind of rapey ? Books like fifty shades of grey, twilight, etc. are caricature of this. But, even in less obvious examples, it often boils down to nonverbal communications, subtle shows of dominance, etc. And it translates into reality. The men I knew that were the most popular with girls were clearly those who cared the less about consent and joked around…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:03 PM
5

It's kinda hard to argue against this post if we're not especially attracted to single moms. For me, if I have to find an attractive archetype in single moms, it would be more the "strong and independent" aspect than the "in needs of a father figure aspect" so not really what you're saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 10:36 AM
1

Risk-averse implies a proven risk. In this case, it's more paranoia than "risk-averse"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 02:42 PM
2

Not really
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 02:40 PM
4

Low inhibitions don't mean low self-control. Instead, low inhibitions mean low stress, and low stress means easier self-control.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 12:47 PM
2

Well, most of the data is either selfreported or come from official organisations that might be biased themselves. Male on male violence is more reported. It doesn't mean it is a good representation of reality. Even more so if we include psychological violence
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 12:08 PM
1

Statistics can be biaised too. For example, their is a statistical under representation of abuse on men from women because men are ashamed of selfreporting. They are also under under representation of condemnation of women for similar crimes because women cultural image is one of victims and men's one of abusers.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 11:50 AM
14

I think it's more of a first contact filter problem. Women have grnerally a lot of criteria that filter potential partners on first contact before they get to know them more profoundly. Men kind of don't. They let themselves open for relationships with most people instead. I don't say that women can't change their minds, but it is why it is a lot rarer to be "friendzoned" by men instead of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 11:46 AM
9

Start by saying women have individuation to conter a generalisation about women behaviour, then say generalisation about men behaviour
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 11:37 AM
4

This comment bleed insecurity. Outgoing doesn't mean cheater material.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 11:33 AM
33

Mocked more than chastised. Insulted and humiliated even. They are "allowed" but it often means backlash and psychological abuse from their peers.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 08:42 AM
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