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MakeItSoQ Archive

View 5 posts and 211 comments by MakeItSoQ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Yes. Getting married is the worst thing that will happen to your marriage. It usually goes downhill from there.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 07:59 AM
2

Here's another option. Take a new job that moves you to another state where alimony is not automatically awarded. Many states do not have automatic alimony. If necessary, set up an arrangement where you have to travel there a lot, purchase a small apartment, and change your driver's license to that state to establish residency. 6 months in you file for divorce in that state. Another option, give her consideration now for signing an antenuptial agreement. For example, buy her a big ticket item sh…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 03:06 AM
1

She would prefer i just get off as soon as possible and hates it when she thinks I'm trying to delay things. I dunno man, we're fully dysfunctional sexually I guess. That sounds like some contempt for you right there. Maybe she's not actually turned on by you but is just using you as a provider. Some women do that. If past lives/reincarnation are going to be part of my wife's core personality, I mean, I would struggle with that shit as you did with tarot. I wouldn't say I struggled with it. I ju…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 07:47 PM
1

I don't know the name of it, but it's like the woman on her back, legs on my shoulders, and me pounding away. We did it once, and afterwards she just said, "I didn't like that at all, I won't be doing it again." When you're in that position, you can get really deep in her. If she's not fully aroused, it will be uncomfortable or painful, especially if you start thrusting too hard and fast before she's ready for it. If she's not fully aroused yet, it's not your fault. It just takes them a long tim…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 06:08 PM
2

Was all your wife's shit brought on by tragedy? I don't think it was brought on entirely by tragedy. It was building for a while, it's just that the tragedy was kind of a tipping point that was there to absorb the blame for something that may have been inevitable. I don't know what you mean by "normalize"? We are actually not through with the divorce yet because she is being belligerent, repeatedly cancelled mediation, and is just trying to drag this out administratively. If you're familiar with…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 04:14 PM
4

Similarities between your story and end of my marriage earlier this year: Family tragedy caused both of us a lot of personal stress. I was assigned the role of being her therapist much like you, and no matter how much I could listen there is nothing I can do to take the pain away. I think those internal mental health issues and the expectations of my role in this caused her to view me differently, not in a good way, but with disrespect. Instead of weed it was wine. The alternative spirituality. …
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 02:47 PM
4

Yeah, this story has so many similarities to the end of my marriage, which culminated in her having an affair and initiating a nasty divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 05:30 AM
5

but I prefer my height or taller this 👆🏽
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 05:44 PM
1

I'm not suggesting they are damaged individuals. There is just a reason they are on the dating market and available, and that's probably going to run into seeing those reasons very quickly, especially if you want an LTR. So, someone who just got out of an LTR and wants to do their own thing for a while in a sense is "damaged" from that experience and might be a little distant if you want to date them. I'm in that boat myself, trying to shake off this divorce, which is why I haven't tried out the…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 04:08 PM
2

Yeah so if you want to be with someone like that you wouldn't be able to find them
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 06:32 PM
2

People who can make an LTR work and want to be in an LTR can stay off market for a long time once they find a partner. I'm not saying they are never on market or are on so quickly you can't catch them. It happens, you can find them, but there is just a trickle of good LTR candidates over time and they wouldn't be on a dating site for very long without a reason if they are serious about finding a partner. I found my home on the MLS and really like it. It was a good deal and only on the market for…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 06:00 PM
3

High value is whatever that means to you. In real estate having a swimming pool is high value to some people but not others. However if you are dating and wanting a LTR partner there are a few universal traits that adds to a person's value, mainly agreeable personality traits and social status. i.e. not afflicted by a cluster B mental disorder and not having the baggage of being a single parent, or an STD etc. Those people pair up with other people who have similarly acceptable personality chara…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 05:23 PM
2

Darn right. Having been in it I can tell you that it can start to feel smothering after a few years. You have this other person relying on you to provide for all of their needs, which might be overwhelming.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 04:05 PM
3

Oh yeah, I find that contradiction funny too. Those women are full of themselves and can't see beyond their own nose. I think they have to overestimate the level or interest and reasons men would want them. They're like my exwife.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:38 PM
1

Maybe if what you want is an LTR. You can blame me being in the dating pool if it wasn't for my exwife who had a one nighter with her exboyfriend. Hey, at least I'll be up front with whomever I meet that I'm not looking for a serious LTR right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:24 PM
3

In terms of early and mid 30s…the quality men and women I know are not single. Period. Because they paired up in a LTR in their 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:18 PM
3

Yeah, but those people are paired up and not on the dating market, so it doesn't matter for the purposes of this post. This idea just explains why dating is tough and full of unsatisfying outcomes. Maybe they will go back to be available for dating and you'll run into those fucked up people, ending the night with another bad Tinder date. But, I'm theorizing that the people who have the interpersonal skills to build a long lasting LTR will not be found on dating apps or be generally available ver…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:17 PM
3

Maybe they just like being single 👆🏽 Dude I said this already!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:10 PM
6

Yeah, but in the original comment the guy was worried about her having like 3 partners or so before him. I don't think that's a really high body count, or at least high enough to indicate a mental disorder. But, wut do I know. Both my first girlfriend, and my wife were dishonest or evasive on their body counts and I got cheated on by both of them. If I married a virgin would the outcome have been any different? idk. I wouldn't recommend marriage for anyone in the present day just because the con…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 01:30 PM
2

That was a hypothetical example of screening. I actually would date a taller woman, but most taller ones don't want to date me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:32 PM
4

In that case you're not a participant on the dating market, just as some houses that would be desirable are vacant and not on the market.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:12 PM
5

It doesn't matter what my status is. But, I am not really in the dating market at this time because I just got served with a divorce like 3 months ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:04 PM
2

Maybe I don't fully understand blackpill, but from what I understand of it, it sounds like to the point of giving up. It's like don't even try, why bother becuase the world is a terrible place. That you have so little influence and control of the situation. I don't subscribe to it because I don't see it as something actionable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 06:49 AM
3

I've been trying to figure that out myself. This is my untested theory. Those unattractive, or at best average guys... what kind of personality do you think they have? Mediocre? Maybe she's hot, but if she's hooking up with a mediocre guy, what does that say about her on the inside? Would you really want that if you got to know her? If she wasn't attractive, would you even care?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 05:31 AM
2

But... YOU are not taken. Are you talking about me? Personally? Well... I was taken, but if you read my post in r/survivinginfidelity you'll see my divorce story which is yet to finish playing out. I haven't been on the market long... just getting my game started! But then again...am I really even on the market? Not a single dating app on my phone because I'm focused on getting mentally reset, enjoying my new freedom, and trying out some new career things. I'm working on myself so that when I me…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 05:25 AM
2

Yes, I agree that dating is representative of a marketplace with buyers and sellers. The only difference is that everyone is playing both the buyer/seller at the same time. It is a marketplace where parties want to meet to establish a [dating/monogamy] contract. The key factors are supply and demand of quantifyable, but still subjective individual characteristics such as attractiveness, social status, and personality qualities. When you isolate the idea of it being a marketplace, the individual …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 05:14 AM
2

I have mixed feelings about that approach. It's kind of like the "word of mouth" real estate deal that doesn't even get listed in the MLS before its sold. You're lucky if you can find that, and when you do it's the best kind of deal you are likely going to find because you preempted the competition. That's why dating in your circle of friends gives you better quality leads. The women you meet through friends probably aren't going to be the type with a bunch of guys competing for her and trying t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 05:03 AM
2

By best, I mean best for you. In any marketplace, there is a wide variety of options. I'm assuming that there is some overlap in compatibility for attractiveness, personality, life status, and other factors. The "best" person for you might be undesirable by mainstream standards and could have been waiting to find you for a while. But... what makes that unlikely is that most of us want similar very basic things in a partner in terms of attractiveness and agreeableness and if you don't find her ri…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 04:44 AM
2

People who are non-committal. Maybe they just like being single and dating/sleeping around. Dude, I said this! 👆🏽 You get lots of those on Tinder - people in the dating market but are just having fun. And then people looking for LTRs run into them and then complain on Reddit: "People on Tinder just want to hook up with me! 😭" Some homes are on the market awaiting a new long term occupant, some are just AirBNB. Don't mix up your AirBNB with a house for sale and wonder why you can't stay there.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 04:08 AM
3

If your house is not selling, you pull it off the market for a while, do some remodeling, then try again later in a different market environment and price point. If you're dating and the market finds you unattractive, you forget about it and work on your personality, confidence, career, skills, and hit the gym. You try again with your enhanced six pack and updated photos.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 04:05 AM
3

It's the same in that it's a marketplace. TRP though makes gender based "rules" and generalizations to make specific assumptions on how the participants in the market would behave. That's where I disagree with TRP... the generalizations are so sweeping that it fails to acknowledge that different people are into different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 04:02 AM
2

Nice plot twist
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:57 AM
4

Oh I see. That's actually a strategy I would suggest. If you want an LTR, be patient and wait for the right one. In the housing market, it's like not finding the house you want right way. It's just not on the market. If you can't find a real estate deal that works for you, don't settle, wait until it manifests. Use the same mindset in dating. Some people may not like me making that analogy between real estate and dating. I think its helpful because I'm more objective on business things, and comi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:54 AM
3

Oh I bet. There's some great women out there... maybe even the best ones who are still single... who have given up on dating because of the time suck it is and they're just not looking. Maybe they aren't on the dating apps because it's so toxic. Meeting those good women is a challenge. I think one way as a man you can probably get to them is by making yourself visible with extraordinary career success. Be a speaker at a conference or something. Having an audience is like social vetting. If you a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 03:28 AM
4

A lot of people buy the first cookie cutter house they like too.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 01:11 AM
3

People who are non-committal. Maybe they just like being single and dating/sleeping around. Dude, I said this! That is if you're looking for an LTR, a lot of the singles out there are probably single because they like it that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 01:10 AM
3

They do. All I'm saying is that if you're not matched now... wait and be patient. Your match may just not be on the market right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:45 AM
-1

I came up with this idea because I'm in the middle of a divorce, but I want to have some fun with new women and was trying to figure out a mindset where I can find what I'm looking for without wasting my time on women who wouldn't be interested in me. There was a woman I met a few years ago on a plane who I felt some connection with but didn't continue talking to because I was married. I reached out to her to reconnect and see what she's up to these days, and found that she just got into an LTR.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:36 AM
6

That's a good part of the analogy that I left out - attractiveness. I didn't mention that because what's attractive to one person may be different for another. And then you have those people (or in the analogy properties) that are attractive to most seekers. I'm assuming that in a market, the matches will occur at different levels of attractiveness. What you are saying about those dating filters is like someone going onto Zillow and punching in numbers for mansions way out of their affordability…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:28 AM
3

I'm sure there's a porn site for that! lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:21 AM
6

I don't think virgins normally boink virgins the first time they do it. Your future girlfriend is probably gonna have been with some Chad who's been around before she gets to you. But, maybe for your first time you'll be with some cute girl who knows what she's doing, and then you'll have been around too by the time you meet the special one you want to stay with. And, you'll know how to satisfy your partner much better. It's not such a bad thing because both of you are less likely to have fear o…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:18 AM
11

Did you just suggest that all the bitter, complaining incels are communists too? 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:11 AM
9

One of my bullet points covers that: People who are non-committal. Maybe they just like being single and dating/sleeping around.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:06 AM
5

I'd like to read up on a debate on why guys are afraid of women who have had abundant dick. Like, I'd like to see the arguments on why it's viewed as so damaging. I could see how that might indicate an avoidant personality issue. STDs also a concern, but there's screening for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 09:56 PM
21

There's "attractive" real estate that appeals to a wide audience, but also niche real estate ("best" for you) that might appeal to exactly what you're seeking. Both kinds go on and off the market. Same with dating partners. Even if you're not looking for the most attractive individuals, the one that is best for you may not be single for an extended period of time, or might even be in a different area than where you are located. But yes, the attractive people go off market quickly. An attractive …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 09:53 PM
32

I hate the 7 billion people argument. Only half of them are the opposite sex as you are. And if your orientation is not heterosexual, then you're looking at a much much smaller slice. So of that 3.5 billion, how many are in your age range? Okay, so that leaves you with a few hundred million. Who's geographically accessible to you? Who has a work schedule that aligns with your career? What about in good health, or at least compatible with your body type and fitness? For example, I'm short only 5'…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 09:40 PM
9

I think guys get obsessed with virginity because they would feel insecure if a previous guy she was with had a better dick. Good insight on the hot vs slow markets!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 09:30 PM
14

but even the “good” ones have relationships end and re-enter the dating market. I account for this in my original statement! Anyone "good" isn't on the market for very long. If you consider yourself a good prospect, what are the chances that the right person for you is single right now? In that respect, it's like fishing as well. Patience is equally as important as your game. And you might be waiting years for the right person for you to become available.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 09:14 PM
8

I'm not saying that dating itself sucks. I'm saying it sucks in that it is hard and the internet is full of complaints about the quality of dates people so often meet. Look, we have all these different ___Pill forums and others trying to figure it all out! There's a lot of rejection out there, some of it hitting hard and personal. That's what sucks about it. Embrace the suck! Coffee is for closers!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 09:11 PM
2

Myron Gaines was talking about how if a man sleeps with another woman when he is in a relationship already, he didn't cheat because there is no emotional attachment. But red pillers also think men need to be careful in relationships since women have the power to turn men's brains into putty and manipulate them into becoming simps. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 07:51 PM
10

In my opinion, this is a huge conflict in a lot of RP advocates. For example, whenever Rollo is confronted with this, he'll start shouting on loop "men and women are different!" So men can be expected to be polyamorous because its natural for them, but women will somehow get mentally screwed up if they have sex with multiple partners? Doesn't make any sense. Rollo says to dump women who don't put out by the third date otherwise your not an alpha, but the exception to this is his own daughter who…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 07:49 PM
53

And she might have given him AIDS
/r/MGTOW227/07/21 05:56 PM
3

I got banned from them too. Oh well. I got the sense that a lot of the postings are pretty toxic and bitter anyway. This sub is much cleaner and intellectual.
/r/MGTOW224/07/21 08:31 AM
10

lol. Just an out-of-touch viewpoint from a generation that doesn't understand the world problems of 2021. "Okay, boomer. Thanks for expressing your concern...."
/r/MGTOW221/07/21 03:24 PM
4

Having been through the divorce grinder, I see this kind of simping in a whole difference light. Why do guys tolerate this kind of behavior? In particular the "acting like a bitch like it's my fault" part. That takes it to another level. As men, we want sex that bad that we're willing to put up with being controlled like that? Can you see where this is going? There's no future here. Wake up men!
/r/MGTOW219/07/21 02:55 PM
5

I think the threat of STD is not talked about enough. Even something like HPV can cause serious issues, but it gets no attention. "Safe" sex by using a condom can help, but it's not a catchall - it just reduces probabilities. Things like herpes can still spread, and not just to genitals. 😬
/r/MGTOW218/07/21 02:59 PM
1

Sex really sucks when it becomes an entitlement. That's no fun. I can't get turned on as a man when it's something that's owed - an expectation.
/r/MGTOW215/07/21 09:39 PM
1

I've heard this kind of feedback before, that the bad attitude of my wife is my fault for not nipping it in the bud. The problem I ran into was that every time I would set a boundary or expectation, however small, she would steamroll it. She very frequently went nuclear in the smallest of arguments by bringing in the threat of divorce. "Well if my husband won't do this for me, then what am I even married for? [I should just get a divorce.]..." Other times she would cause conflicts in retaliation…
/r/MGTOW215/07/21 09:37 PM
1

It's just as bad the opposite way around, which is what I dealt with in my marriage. My now exwife was very mean to me, entitled, and lazy. But she was very attractive and wanted lots of sex. I could not keep her satisfied. Many nights I just didn't feel like it because I was overworked from my day job, financial stresses, chores, making food, and doing dad stuff. I had no time for my own enjoyment or clarity of mind and her wanting sex at 1am when I have to get up the next morning to do the gri…
/r/MGTOW215/07/21 05:15 PM
3

From both observation and my personal experience, I get the feeling that a lot of women don't seem to understand the seriousness of the power they have in creating a new person. There are big consequences attached to pregnancy for her, the father, and the unborn. They don't seem to process the gravity of what that means. But, maybe that's by design. If women tended to overthink the greater implications of pregnancy, they would probably be a lot more avoidant of it and we wouldn't have as many pe…
/r/MGTOW209/07/21 09:51 PM
3

Bingo. I like how you stated the last part.
/r/MGTOW205/07/21 04:33 AM
2

You're not giving up, you're adapting to a situation that is not going as planned. In startup company world, they believe in the idea of "fail fast". That means if you make a mistake by investing your capital, time, and resources into an idea that's not yielding as you thought, it would be better to take a step back and change your strategy sooner than later. Don't double down on a bad business deal.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/21 06:07 PM
11

I found myself in a very similar situation to you in my 20s. I was getting to the point you are at right now, but she convinced me to have a kid with her and then all hell broke loose. I completely lost control of my life. Every boundary I would try to set regarding financial responsibility, or even just how I allocate my time to balance work and unwinding stress, was countered with divorce threats. Our child became leverage for her to win petty arguments. I am very much like you in that I did m…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/21 09:47 PM
1

It's hard to remove a toxic person who you're married to and have a kid with. I realized the toxicity after it was too late, so tried to make it work as well as I could and it lasted for quite a while, at a high personal cost. I wish she would have worked on herself and her own depression. The marriage could have been great. But instead, she blamed me for her internal issues and got very resentful.
/r/MGTOW228/06/21 07:09 PM
3

What a coincidence! Same here!
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 06:05 PM
1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x580mowu5Gs
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 05:53 PM
2

It's called Sex/Life. I really don't care to see it having just been through the exact same thing in real life.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 05:51 PM
1

Yeah I know. I swear I was able to get them for $21/lb not too long ago. But, prices are really wonky right now and I was thinking what the heck, I really want some crab legs tonight!
/r/MGTOW228/06/21 05:34 PM
4

I'm so sorry for your loss, and the hardship your children will have to bear. I'm sad to see that this same thread plays out over and over again. Same exact thing of the bored wife who cheats and rewrites her own history. r/survivinginfidelity has new ones every week. It was a weird realization for me when Reddit showed how my reason for being on this forum is very much due to similar circumstances. In fact, this kind of ending for a marriage is so common that Netflix just released movie based o…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 05:32 PM
3

It was only 155lb, or so she says. 🤣
/r/MGTOW228/06/21 03:47 PM
4

lol, no by the time that happened we were able to order new supplies in small quantities at a time.
/r/MGTOW228/06/21 03:22 PM
7

I actually have several year's worth of journals documenting the gaslighting, manipulation, silent treatment episodes, petty tantrums, and other emotional abuse. I started immediately writing down what I remember of the details of arguments because the gaslighting had me so confused and questioning matters of fact. It was necessary for me to keep feeling sane and confident about what I believe to be truthful.
/r/MGTOW228/06/21 03:20 PM
8

Oh my gosh you have no idea! I saw the pandemic coming last year when we had the first US cases and stocked up with 3 super-sized toilet paper packages at Costco a full week before the hoarding began. She blew through them in a matter of months and we actually ran out of toilet paper for a while!!
/r/MGTOW228/06/21 01:31 PM
3

No, it's good to talk about so guys like me can verify for you that it really happens. I can't believe I was fooled into marriage with such a weak, self-centered individual with no moral compass and it took me about 5-6 years before I started to notice and that it couldn't be fixed.
/r/MGTOW228/06/21 12:27 PM
3

I saw a debate about this on r/survivinginfidelity where some found it appalling. Eh, now I'm sorry I watched the trailer. I lived the real thing. No interest in seeing the dramatization of it.
/r/MGTOW228/06/21 06:37 AM
5

Won't work when the kid is at the mom's house. You'd be surprised. These predators are sinister. They know it's wrong and work to cover their tracks. It's the person you'd least suspect, and they'll do it right under your nose. Best way to stop it is to educate the potential victims who don't yet understand why someone would do that to them.
/r/MGTOW225/06/21 01:46 PM
32

Get a licensed child therapist and have a session with your daughter to talk about body safety. A lot of molestation cases are perpetrated by men who hook up with single moms this way. No joke.
/r/MGTOW225/06/21 01:23 AM
2

Reading the original posts and the comments, your situation has many similarities to my ex-wife, who just moved out of the house on Monday. The folks on Reddit here pointed me to resources about narcissistic personality disorder, and after a deep dive into that I am quite sure that my ex is a covert narcissist. I went through a similar progression as you, but with one kid. Early in the relationship, I was the most amazing thing to her since sliced bread. Things were great. But as time went on, h…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/21 03:39 AM
1

In your new life, are you still interested in having women involved in your life at all? What did that toxic relationship do to your future of relationships?
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/21 10:36 AM
3

These spoiled wives want a guy who is going to pay for all the luxuries they want in life, but expect him not to work for it. Projected entitlement.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 07:36 PM
1

Nope. It's a metaphor for realizing you want to be a woman. https://www.newsweek.com/matrix-creator-red-pill-trans-allegory-mens-rights-activists-1523669
/r/MGTOW214/06/21 01:32 PM
4

It sounds like some important details were left out for her to be able to request something like that. What state is this in and how old is the daughter? Was there a spousal support order? How old is OP and ex? All those are important details that get factored into the law surrounding this. Typically, if the divorce gets finalized it is a done deal unless there are loose ends that need to be revisited like child support.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/21 04:50 AM
3

These women like this want to scrape up every penny the law will allow them because they feel they are entitled to it, but they fail to see the long term intangible impact of the bad sentiment it causes. She still wants to be "friends" after this, but no, she's lost me forever. When she initially wanted a divorce I think this separation could have been done in a way that doesn't have hard feelings, but her aggressiveness and threats just ruined whatever chance there could be of repair. She's eve…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/21 01:07 AM
2

Yeah what you say about 4-4 getting off track was my initial thought. Yikes! This sucks to have the government there counting the nights that your child stays at whichever home. Similar issue where I'm at regarding 50/50, but because there's a disparity in income, child support is calculated off of that. I think its kind of ridiculous because the amount it's coming out to in my opinion in more than what's needed for child expenses, especially since I'm still heavily involved. I think she just wa…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 10:27 PM
1

4-4 is an interesting idea, but that rotation would make it hard to plan for anything a ways out. You'd have to calculate the dates, I would imagine. Week on / week off with a Wednesday evening is something we proposed. I see that as being stable, and offers more predictable options for swapping days. My ex doesn't like that for some reason, but given the unpredictable schedule of a nurse, I don't see how 3-4-4-3 will be any better since her work day can fall on any 3 days of the week with some …
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 09:42 PM
1

What about just being in a relationship because you two enjoy each other's company? I actually wouldn't want a woman to hang around me and offer sex because she's getting some thing she needs in exchange. That's prostitution! Why can't the best reasons for being together be free?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 02:07 PM
1

Yes, self-care is important
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/21 04:10 PM
3

My wife did the exact same thing to me. Finished nursing school, got a job, didn't need me anymore so had an affair and initiated a divorce. Pretty sure now that for the last 13 years I've been fooled by a sociopath.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/21 03:37 PM
4

NTA - they were just dating bf/gf. His dad and sister needs to chill out.
/r/MGTOW207/06/21 01:42 PM
4

I'm going through a divorce too, and have the same 330am problem. My mind is racing, but what bothers me in the middle of the night is being in this empty house now. Or being in here with just my kid and no wife and thinking about how this is how things are going to be now. I miss the presence of another adult nearby with whom I have intimacy with. I just stay up really late now if I'm having a panic attack. If I have friends who are up late, I'll talk with them on the phone. I come on Reddit an…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 06:26 PM
1

Yes! This is why I am against marriage. You can't keep the upper hand when the entitled, lazy person in the relationship throws out a divorce threat every single time they are upset about something. Divorce threats are like holding a gun to your partner's head. It alters the situation and once you're there the marriage cannot be fixed and you cannot maintain your own frame because of the coercion.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/21 03:01 PM
3

Plus I get a weekend solo, which I spend with my gf. Yes, the 4-3-3-4 trap can make it so that if you're single, you won't be able to have a social life going out anywhere on the weekends.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 02:30 PM
1

What you can do to help with the long week is include a provision to have an evening with your kid mid-week. So we inserted an optional 4-8pm time on Wednesdays with the off-week parent. That's enough time to have dinner and do an activity together.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 02:25 PM
13

Another time, sitting at a stop light, I unconsciously reached back to grab her leg and kiss her. She obviously wasn't there. That was so sad to read. I hope that wound heals with time for you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 02:14 PM
1

The thing that I don't like about 2-2-3 is that it's really choppy. That could be a mess if let's say I want to go to a week or 4-day long conference. What I like best is alternating weeks, but she is not happy about that at all. I may stand my ground on that one, unless someone can point out a disadvantage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 06:32 AM
1

Yeah we're working on it and she's not happy about what we're coming up with. But, that's not my problem it's her problem. I'm just trying to not get screwed over by agreeing to something that I didn't realize was bad. It's gonna suck no matter what. The winner gets less suck in this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/21 06:29 AM
34

I agree with this. There are good, caring women out there. I think romantic relationships add a dimension of expectation. Throw children in there and then roles and responsibilities cloud the individual.
/r/MGTOW203/06/21 02:31 AM
2

Finding an attorney is a numbers game. Just call as many as you can in your area, fire quickly, until you find the right one.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 08:10 PM
5

Take some time searching for an attorney. Use findlaw.com. Most will offer a free consultation just to get to know you and allow you to decide if you want to work with that person. Find one who's a good person you can get along with. It may take lots of calls. Never pay for an initial consultation. In the end it will be worth it and pay for itself because the lawyer will help you navigate the traps in the system that can end up costing you wayyyyyy more in the long run. For example, a lawyer had…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/21 02:48 AM
2

People change, and for some people it takes years for their personality conflicts to manifest. For the first 5 years of being with my wife, we were both terrifically happy. Maybe that was a bad thing because nothing ever really tested our love. Then she got very pushy about having a baby, even though I didn't feel ready because my career was unstable and I was unsure of our finances. Nevertheless, I loved her so much one night I agreed to do it because I thought we loved each other so much that …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 12:18 AM
0

You got it wrong. Your spouse says she "loves you" but is not "in love" with you. lol
/r/MGTOW231/05/21 01:43 AM
8

Sadly, you're right. It makes me hesitant to do any sort of dating.
/r/MGTOW230/05/21 03:08 AM
-1

Yeah, go your own way but there are dangerous places once can go.
/r/MGTOW230/05/21 01:01 AM
-1

What about STD risk?
/r/MGTOW230/05/21 01:00 AM
3

Thank you. I appreciate the words of support. I will probably be doing the solo route as well, until the right person finds me, which may be soon or never. I won't get married again, which I think is an effective means of guarding against this level of pain. The sad thing about having that level of defense is that I won't be able to give and share the happiness of marriage with another person who is more deserving. This is why I say to OP don't take what you have for granted. For my ex-wife, she…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 07:34 PM
3

Thanks for the kind message. I agree with you - that there are things to look forward to and this should have ended sooner. I looked past whatever frustrations were present for our daughter because I believed staying together as a family was best for her. My ex wife doesn't care and this has been just devastating for our kid. If we didn't have a kid, this would have been easy to end several years ago. The message I was trying to convey for the OP is that in a good relationship, there's something…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 04:54 PM
2

Interesting perspective. You just described why I have oneitis for my cheating ex-wife and why it's detrimental to my recovery. I really thought I had something much more and greater than just sex with her. Maybe she doesn't see it that way. Thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 02:10 PM
3

thanks, I could use it :)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 07:52 AM
6

True. And over time she becomes much more than her looks. It's all the memories and things you've done together and many things you feel familiar with about that person. That's something that cannot be replaced.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 07:40 AM
8

Before you worry about your looks fading, what if you change before that happens? What if you decide that just spending days off together in bed and making breakfast is not enough and you want more out of life? What if he reaches the age of 30 and decides he's tired of being a cook and wants to be more successful, so he starts working on a new project or improving his education and spends less time with you? How would you feel? At the age you're at (I'm assuming under 30), a lot will change in y…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/21 07:37 AM
2

check out r/survivinginfidelity too. eye opening stuff!
/r/MGTOW27/05/21 02:53 AM
3

I'm scared that if I become friends, she's going to use me to get things she wants. Bingo. Most likely she has selfish motivations. She wants to discard you so she doesn't have to put up with the inconveniences you cause her, but don't want to lose the benefits you bring to her life. How many "favors" is she going to ask of you since that's what "friends" do? My STBXW just today told me she wants to celebrate my birthday this week and is so thankful for me being the father of our child. Well, ju…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/21 12:10 AM
2

Don't give her that ammo. Stay calm. Do not be emotional. Also, it would probably help your sanity to keep a journal where you can recollect your thoughts on things like this later. It helps with the gaslighting so you don't feel crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/21 06:31 PM
3

My wife is divorcing me now over similar things. She has heavily criticized me for not taking her on dates during this pandemic. It's been really hard to do things like that, and on top of that I'm the only income and have been under a lot of stress worrying about things. But, in a nutshell, my wife didn't feel like she is getting the attention she deserves so she had an affair and filed for divorce. What your wife is doing in blaming you for arguments sounds like it could be gaslighting and DAR…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/21 05:48 PM
3

I had a very similar experience. I was very happy an in love with marrying my wife. Things were great for a while. I thought she was a wonderful person. She was very caring for me. I felt a sense of togetherness in everything we did. But several years into the marriage her attitudes started to change. She gradually became more passive aggressive, refusing to help me with things around the house, refusing to get a job. She got pushy about having a baby. When it happened I completely lost all cont…
/r/MGTOW222/05/21 04:51 PM
3

wth? I never said it was her job. I just said be helpful. This type of thinking right here is the problem and why marriage doesn't work. Women are so defensive that being expected to do any work that they end up being passive aggressive doing no work for the chores and child rearing, even if the man is already supporting the family as the breadwinner and doing way more than 50% of the family work.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 05:19 AM
1

You're talking about two different groups of men. There are the creeps who harass women in a professional setting, and there are other men who don't want any part of that and avoid real contact with women through whatever fapping stuff they do. They're different subgroups you're talking about as one big generalization of all men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 12:34 AM
10

I could speak on this as a dad. I want to raise my daughter to be smart and self sufficient so that she can survive in this hyper competitive world. I know there are the dads out there who push their daughters to have really high flying careers, and I can't speak for those guys, but I think there can be a balance achieved between career success and having a warm, loving family. I am not quite sure how you are defining "submissive" women. Is it some woman who says yes to everything and the man ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 12:28 AM
2

Rollo Tomassi, who comes up a lot in the red pill circle... I disagree with what he advocates for this very reason. It's hypocritical. He tells young guys to spin plates and dump her if she doesn't give you sex by the third date, but then again when it comes to his daughter he doesn't want her riding the "carousel" because he believes promiscuity does psychological damage to women. When confronted with this hypocrisy on his live stream, he just repeatedly shouts "it's because men and women are d…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 08:32 PM
2

When I got to my 30s, especially after learning about the red pill knowledge, my interest in sex dwindled. I don't know if it's because of my body aging or whether it's that I've become more aware of how being horny alters the mind and I just don't like that. I enjoy the company of females (when they're not demanding things of me). Maybe I have some sort of maternal need. But I really enjoy non-sex forms of intimacy much more, like just hugging, kissing, gentle touching, and massaging. Sex to me…
/r/MGTOW220/05/21 04:11 AM
6

Awesome. That means the badlands shouldn't be too far away! ⛏
/r/MGTOW219/05/21 02:34 AM
6

How nice. You got a desert biome next to a savannah biome which seems to contain a village, and a mountainous taiga biome off in the distance. What a great place for your base!
/r/MGTOW219/05/21 01:15 AM
3

Rule number 1 of your Bitcoin is don't talk about Bitcoin
/r/MGTOW18/05/21 10:30 PM
1

Been thinking about this post. As news leaks out about Gates' divorce, I wonder if my impression about Bill was wrong. Seems that he was actually quite dismissive of his wife's feelings by messing around with other women at the company and had a questionable business relationship with that guy who didn't kill himself in jail, despite his wife's objection. If you look at it through that lens, seems there was a lot going on and maybe he was a handful to deal with. It's hard to make judgements on s…
/r/MGTOW17/05/21 06:04 AM
4

Dude, it's a troll. Don't feed the trolls.
/r/MGTOW15/05/21 02:53 PM
5

I'm a soon to be divorced guy. Those little red flags early in the relationship are like a butterfly effect - they get amplified over time. However, I was naive to all this red pill stuff back then. I had no one to show me the bigger picture. Whether or not I would have listened probably would have depended on how it was presented and my level of trust in the person telling me. No older person I trusted at the time presented any sort of reason not to get married. Everyone just told how lucky I w…
/r/MGTOW15/05/21 02:20 PM
29

Societal conditioning is powerful. One of my best friends is getting married soon. I sent him a text message asking if he considered a prenup and gave him some reasons why it would be beneficial for him to get one. He got mad at me and told me I can't send him messages like that because his fiance will get mad at him for receiving a message like that when she looks at what's on his phone. 🤦🏽‍♂️
/r/MGTOW15/05/21 08:03 AM
2

You are so lucky. I wish I had access to this type of information when I was 23 and proposed to my future ex-wife. Back in 2008 I wasn't exposed to enough people warning me about the dangers of marriage and how patchy the laws are. Marriage was just something older people around me did and I felt like I was a generally good person marrying a smart, nice woman and I thought whatever troubles we would face we could work out. Didn't have the life experience or warnings to inform me how it is that m…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/21 02:24 AM
3

Divorce is so ridiculously invasive. Completely unnecessary. This would go so easy and clean if we never got married and everything was already separate. All that would have to be worked out is the child care arrangement. With divorce there's this mess of the government scrutinizing our financial statements and lawyers now saying how and what we can spend on for the time being.
/r/MGTOW14/05/21 02:18 PM
1

I don't know actually. Her behavior is erratic. She is the kind of person who likes to have cake and eat it too. I think she is trying to rig this to get the benefit of my utility in "helping" her raise a child and financial support, but without having to deal with the inconveniences of dealing with me living in the same house. Like a switch, she flipped off all romantic interest, which is so strange because we were so touchy and intimate right up to d-day. I'm thinking it's affair fog which wil…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 02:15 PM
1

Someone here recommended an app called Talking Parents. It's quite interesting - never imagined I would need features like that but I can see why now. So far Google Calendar and SMS texting has been working well enough, but definitely considering an app like Talking Parents.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 02:10 PM
1

We're in the same state. STBXW is going to move to an apartment nearby. She is still trying to decide on which one. After looking at what rent costs she's having a hard time finding a place she feels comfortable with on her income, especially since she's determined to only work part time. She is likely going to move to an apartment out of the school district, which will inconvenience her because school transportation will be more difficult. lol Another reason I think she wants to home school, wh…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 02:05 PM
1

It's so funny that so many of these stories are textbook. The people change but the situation are basically the same. It's disheartening, but at least I'll know what flags to avoid in future relationships, even if personality disorders are everywhere now. An early red flag should have been that she refused to pay for dinner whenever we ate out, even during times when I suggested it should be her turn once in a while. There was a lot of future faking about "next time" and I just brushed it off. T…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 07:36 AM
1

Yes, I agree with the schooling. The school system in our district is very good and she did great in kindergarten. This home school thing is not working out because STBXW doesn't keep her engaged enough and the worst part of it is the isolation from other kids. It's cruel in my opinion to continue this, especially now under divorce conditions. From what it sounds, any mediator and the court system is likely to share the same opinion as me once all the facts are presented. The grandparents/in-law…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 07:28 AM
1

I didn't think she did anything to the pancakes, lol She loves murder mysteries, and has always said that women are most likely to use poison as the murder weapon lol. I have thought about BPD, but that doesn't seem quite right. I would think BPD sufferers are more volatile with their ups and downs. The covert narcissism is just dead on for all the checkboxes, so I think as a model it's the best fit. I have long believed that her unhappiness is an internal problem caused by low self esteem that …
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 07:13 AM
1

A home renovation is actually my plan! I do have to wait for her to move out. She is such a slob that this house is very cluttered and it will be easier to renovate without her stuff everywhere. I'm going to look for an interior designer to get creative with the paint and lighting. Unfortunately, she is all over the place when it comes to custody arrangement. She wants to work it around her schedule in her new job as a hospital nurse that she is one week into. And she wants to home school. I don…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 06:44 AM
1

I had a couple bites. (I made sure she was eating an adjacent pancake from the same batch... didn't seem to be poisoned.) She invited me and the kid to get ice cream the other day, so I went. Then in the car she started talking about wanting to go on family vacations again. I said, "Do you not understand what you're doing? You're discarding me. It's not going to be like you think." There's been a lot of silence since then. During this crisis I'm learning what an actress she can be because it fee…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 06:33 AM
1

Congrats for getting her out of your house. Get your popcorn ready for the sh*t show that is about to unfold. Unfortunately, I'm still anxiously awaiting for her to actually move out. It should be happening here over the next few weeks I hope. She just got an offer to start a job as a nurse just before the affair and this is going to be the first time she actually has a permanent job that she can't afford to quit as she has all the previous times she's tried to participate in the workforce. I th…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 05:31 AM
10

I'm in my 30s going through a divorce. I've received those same kind of complaints when it came to expecting my wife to clean up after herself. My wife's reason for divorcing me is literally that I didn't do enough of giving her attention, when I already gave what I could give outside of my work. It is sad how predictable these relationships are as I read story after story of the same darn thing. It's making me very disinterested in even trying to find a new woman for a long term relationship af…
/r/MGTOW14/05/21 05:21 AM
1

Thank you so much for telling me about Dr Ramani's videos. That educated me so much. And I discovered a whole circle of other great content creators on the same topic. Before learning about the narcissism cycle, I would have been very easily reeled back in by a hoover. Now I know what I'm dealing with. Not only that, but every weird behavior in the past suddenly made total sense, and I no longer have the guilt from wondering what I've done wrong or should have done differently. Minimal contact i…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 05:06 AM
1

I never saw the discard coming. This isn't something you learn in school! But the devaluation I felt for a while because she would quite frequently talk to me in a condescending way. Not much I could do because every time I would speak up for myself the divorce threats would come. So I just brushed off her rude tone. Something I've been thinking about and that astounds me is her ability to lie. So she says she has been so terribly unhappy with me for so long going back years, yet just weeks befo…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 05:00 AM
19

"Happy wife, happy life." The trick to that is that you can't make her happy, only she can do that internally.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/21 07:58 PM
13

If we are headed for a reset, I fear for what it will look like, which could turn out to be some form of global communist dictatorship. The Catholic Church replaced Roman values with a theocracy, setting the stage for an era known as the "Dark Ages", because social systems didn't allow for much progress in society during that time.
/r/MGTOW12/05/21 05:40 AM
5

I still don't know what an "alpha" is supposed to be. If there was some secret formula that the "alpha" guy attracts women more easily, then it should be quantifiable. Maybe you can to some extent, but context really matters. I knew a guy in college who was always having sex with lots of women (I know because they were on the other side of my wall). But, none of those women were very attractive. He probably wouldn't have been able to pick up a "9" or "10". Is a guy like that "alpha"? Seems to me…
/r/MGTOW12/05/21 05:23 AM
14

What I dislike about these generalizations is that context matters. A guy could be really "alpha", killing it in his business or expertise. But then goes home to his "yes dear" wife where his is totally pwned. Bill Gates may be an example of that. You can argue that Elon Musk is like that too.
/r/MGTOW12/05/21 05:18 AM
1

If you're getting a divorce. It doesn't matter what she does with her time anymore. I know it's probably angering for you to think about as the idea would infuriate me as well, but she's probably already seeing someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/21 04:39 AM
1

Don't judge. You don't know what kind of premium content she sells. It could be cooking recipes.
/r/MGTOW12/05/21 12:11 AM
1

Affair fog... I still don't know exactly what happened since she refuses to talk about it any further. She maintains the idea that they just "kissed" and that was the moment she realized she is unhappy being with me. However, the timelines I have on her 4:05am text message that she finally back and safe in her AirBNB, the revelation that she had been drinking with this guy, pictures of bars she was in, and the morphing story on when this kiss took place and how much of "kiss" it was, and lack of…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 08:15 PM
1

It's really troubling how this same story is retold from different men and it sounds exactly the same every time, just different people. My attorney says he's seem so many women with the same complaints and sudden awakening as my wife that it's kind of predictable and boring to hear. Then rather than admitting they made a mistake, years later they are directing hate and anger at their ex-husband for the unhappy state they are in as a result of their choice to divorce. An element of this that rea…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 05:08 PM
9

Something I hated about marriage was how smothering it was. That time alone to work on yourself is valuable and confidence building. Throughout my marriage, I rarely got that time because she passive-aggressively buried me in house chore responsibilities, tried to dictate how I spend the little free time I had, and expected me to constantly be a source of entertainment whenever she pleased. I feel so relieved and much less stressed to not have a nagging wife. My wife wanted to be with me for cer…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 05:01 PM
1

I'm surprised finding out how this same similar story playing out for me has been played out for lots of men. To sum it up, wife gets bored of married life and walks out for something more exciting, at the expense of everyone else in the family. I wish someone was there in my life to educate me about the risk of that before I bought a ring. But, idk, I had many good years with her that made me a better person so maybe it could be argued that it was all worth the temporary pain I'm going through …
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 07:23 AM
1

Wow thats a real danger. Yes I anticipate the hoovering will begin sometime later this year. I'm so glad I found groups like this on Reddit because that will help me be strong and maintain clarity when it comes. Before I did all this research I would have gladly tried to repair things, and probably get discarded soon after. I plan to go minimal contact with no second chances. I will reread these posts I made to remind myself how cold she turned after that deceitful affair.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 04:39 AM
1

I suspected BPD in my wife too, but I'm not sure if it's a clear cut case. Maybe there's a spectrum. Some aspects fit, but I think what's a more perfect match of personality traits is covert narcissism. Maybe the cluster B disorders overlap in behavior to some degree. Lol that Biblical story feels eerily familiar to me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 03:44 AM
2

What I don't get about women is that they are attracted to men who have their lives together, are fit, and are successful. Then they get into a relationship and do everything under the sun to tear down the qualities that make that guy what he is. Success and money requires hard work. They want to compete with work for attention. Staying fit requires hours in the gym lifting weights. My STBXW would get off on "distracting" me while I was working on something, and told me I'm unattractive when I'm…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 12:49 AM
1

That level of attention seeking is the worst. It's control, a form of psychological abuse. I worry about how common it is among women to need that. Before I met my wife I had another girlfriend who was similar, but more open about it. She'd call me on the phone frequently to say "I'm bored" and expect me to entertain her. That relationship ended because I had enough of that. These women who behave this way are terribly insecure people, and yes they are bringing about what they fear so much by do…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 11:51 PM
2

The divorce trauma is going to be temporary and I look forward to recovery. Life can become really fun after this. It will be fully upto me to make it into something. I think it's a very healthy thing that thanks to the Internet, the world is having the conversation now on whether marriage is relevant today. If I had access to this information 13 years ago, I'd be much better off today.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 11:11 PM
1

I see the reason for your username now lol. My relationship with STBXW started much the same as well. She was this fun, low maintenance girl. I felt fortunate. People change. I missed the red flags of the controlling behavior because early in our relationship and marriage I'd just kind of blow off that kind of stress. It's not like she could do any real damage to me so setting boundaries was easy. It was after we had a kid that shit got real. She started using divorce threats to coerce me on fri…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 11:08 PM
3

This is some uncomfortable red pill truth right here. Love the quote.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 10:37 PM
2

That's why I am here talking about this on Reddit. I want to thank everyone who responded to my posts because it's really helped me see things more clearly. If I didn't have this support group, I'd be crying in a closet flogging myself right now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 10:35 PM
1

added to my list. thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 10:33 PM
1

Before you go down the rabbit hole, the fact that you're questioning whether you're a narcissist shows that you have a conscience and self-reflection so while you might have personal faults you probably aren't a narcissist. There's a spectrum of narcissism where anyone can behave a little bit narcissistically because some of those behaviors align with self-interest, which is natural. A true narcissist has such a deeply ingrained level of insecurity that he/she is always in a combative survival k…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 10:31 PM
2

I seen so many PUA guys telling young men how to screen for a "good" woman who isn't damaged goods from riding the carousel. It doesn't matter. If you catch her before she is promiscuous, just be grateful for the joy that you get to experience with her. It seems so common that once they are settled and have kids, there's rampant FOMO for the sex in the city life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 10:22 PM
1

I really hope it's just that. This experience has made me afraid of considering a future relationship with a woman.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 10:02 PM
1

I've participated in the r/survivinginfidelity group and the hurt and trauma shared by everyone there is just so heartbreaking to read. But still, the numbers don't lie. 50% of marriages end in divorce with around 80% initiated by the women. The other 50% of marriage end with someone dead. There are many horrific anecdotes of people who have been through the divorce grinder, usually with some traumatic crescendo of events towards the end. When I think of the older folks I know who survived a ver…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 10:01 PM
1

Feel bad for the next guy with her. He doesn’t know her true nature yet. I know who it is and I don't feel bad for that asshole one bit. lol! He deserves what's coming to him. You are right that she is trying to convince herself that she is a good person. As I get better at grey rock, she has been trying to act like we were before this all happened again, making breakfast and shit again which she only did on occasion when things were good. However, she has not expressed genuine remorse and a des…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 07:02 PM
3

So the big life change for my ex wife was her getting her nursing degree and getting a job as a nurse. For a long time I had the feeling that the nurse degree wasn't to help us prosper as a family, but a ticket for her to bail and become "independent" so she can go about being promiscuous. We got married in our early 20s and she missed out on party days. After she finds out how unfulfilling that life is, she will probably try to hoover me and I won't be interested.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 06:57 PM
1

I am going through the same thing too. She's attacking me for really small transgressions that happened very early in our relationship. That is a trait of narcissism. Watch Dr. Ramani's videos on how insecure people never forgive and keep a ledger of times they feel they were wronged: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1WwHw4i11s
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 06:54 PM
5

I think marriage as an institution is too overrated and past it is shelf life. Love ,kindness and compassion in life is more important. Marriage is a stupid decision in 2021. When the concept was invented, life expectancy was much shorter, work available to women was different because we didn't have the technology and most of it was physical, and we didn't have complex laws and personal obligations relating to taxes and finance. It's only reinforced by cultural norms and the misconceptions of th…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 06:50 PM
2

But now she wants to be with her ex as apparently our relationship 'was never emotionally fulfilling for her'. This befuddles me. Why she would go for a guy she discarded? So the guy my wife cheated with me on, she had many awful things to say about him over the years. There is nothing of substance he has to offer her. That kind of angered me. I would have been more understanding of a one night stand with a stranger than this crap.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 06:47 PM
3

When you trust so much you miss obvious signs of abuse, it's unhealthy. I knew she was emotionally abusive. It only started to become noticeable to me around the 5th year or so of the relationship. But we were already married so what was I to do? I just viewed it as we are in it for the long haul and I need to figure out how to cope and correct any problems. I did not want a divorce. She refused to work on herself, so I am glad that this is finally getting done and I will be free of the abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 06:43 PM
6

👆🏽 This is the sad reality. I hate the "red pill" viewpoint that hypothesizes that women are hard wired to think this way about infidelity. I don't like to think women are biologically driven to be this shitty, but this kind of story is so ubiquitous. Could it be that the way women are raised in western cultures that they learn to avoid self-blame and accountability like this? Is this just the result of a kind of person who went through a damaging childhood? I wish I could know.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 06:38 PM
1

Good luck brother, and remember, completely change your attitude towards her, you will begin to notice her changes, you continue the same with your change. I wholeheartedly agree. The woman I fell in love with and married is no longer. It was a very special meaningful time in my life... but that's all it will be a period in my life. I will never experience something like that again - both the highs and the lows. All they are are memories.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 06:31 PM
1

we would have a long circular conversation full of gaslighting and blame shifting that could last for hours correction... it wasn't a conversation more like her doing a neverending monologue. lol
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 05:54 PM
1

Things will get better with time. You'll slowly begin to realize that the marriage wasn't that wonderful and that your partner wasn't that great (or good even). That's probably hard for you to believe right now, but I'm living proof and there are many others. This marriage was circling the drain for a while. She had persistent bad attitude problems, which made me distrustful and resentful of her, which led to bedroom problems, which led to more complaints and bad attitude in a feedback loop. I w…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 05:52 PM
2

This is a phenomenon that's not talked about enough in the "red pill" community. I guess Rollo Tomassi says you don't really know your wife until you get divorced, a quote which I find ironic coming from a married guy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 05:43 PM
2

It does nauseate me to think the sex she had with that guy was so good that it rewired her brain.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 05:41 PM
3

Reddit has been a tremendous source of support. Without finding these groups, I probably would be drowning in guilt right now, blaming myself and having some very dark, depressing thoughts. I have met nobody here in person, but even as strangers I feel like we are all in something together and just by sharing our opinions and experiences we can help each other get through our struggles to come.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 05:40 PM
6

The biggest mistake that men make is to project our way of thinking onto women. This is a fatal mistake. But we are brainwashed from childhood by our parents, school, and media to believe that women are the same as men and that they are victims of unwarranted oppression throughout history and the only reason they do not rule the world is because they were denied opportunity. I believed this narrative for most of my life. As a young person, any man I would hear bashing the institution of marriage…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 05:38 PM
1

I could be putty in the hands of a good woman. That's how you get burned on the hot stove repeatedly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 05:30 PM
3

See what I mean. This isn't some statistical anomaly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 05:29 PM
4

She's definitely gaslighting herself. No way to tell how much.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 05:29 PM
2

I will not put my full blind trust in anyone again. I just learned a costly lesson. It's like I touched a hot stove, got burned, and I would have to be a fool to touch it again. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, you can't fool me again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 04:02 PM
3

Yeah so what's so bad about this is it demonstrates either of the following, both of which are traumatic and will affect how you approach future relationships with anyone: Someone who told you that they love you actually hated you and lied about their feelings for a long time. You were deceived my someone you trusted. Can you believe anyone who says they love you ever again? A person you entrust could abruptly change in personality and turn around to hurt you severely. Forget the reasons or seco…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 03:18 PM
7

You can be happy again. I can probably be happy again, but I can never trust again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 03:10 PM
24

That movie started to bug me when it got to the point where she made him sell all his toys. She can't accept him for who he is and is making him change his enjoyments just because she doesn't think it's cool. That's not a healthy relationship. I considered it a tragedy when I first saw the movie and not very funny. It could have had a happy ending if he met some geeky girl who loved his toys and thought he was awesome as is because of his unique interests, but a functional relationship like that…
/r/MGTOW08/05/21 01:25 PM
5

I don't think that's OP's point. I think he's just showing that marriages at all levels of status fail. The whole "death do us part" and vows and love and stuff is bullshit. If it's not forever like it's intended, why get married at all?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 01:14 PM
3

OP has self esteem issues and needs a better network of friends, maybe even a therapist. ​ I know no one will probably read this but it feels better to let it out somewhere. A lot of people will read this post, and comment, and deliver the cold, hard truth. That final statement was unnecessary and reflects low self esteem. With this woman cheating and especially in this quantity, there is no marriage. There's was no marriage to begin with because she's completely disregarded the basic principle …
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/21 01:22 PM
7

The kicker though, I tell them straight up I don't want a relationship, just fun... Take it or leave it. They almost always agree and then attempt to 'change me' and force me into commitment and a relationship every damn time. This is exactly the terms on which I met my ex-wife!
/r/MGTOW30/04/21 02:54 PM
1

This outcome reminds me of another very inspiring post I saw on another Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/mjyndb/thoughts_31_years_later/ Thanks for sharing your recovery process. Getting hit with a divorce was hard and depressing at first, but reading this inspirational stories has me now looking forward to what's ahead. Life may become very enjoyable without a controlling person limiting my every move.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/21 08:01 PM
2

How long did it take before you felt comfortable dating someone new?
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/21 07:22 PM
4

I really don't understand how women can be so evil to lie, deceive and betray for so many years like it's no big deal. I used to read shocking stories like this and never imagined it happening to me. There seems to be some truth about women and monkeybranching. OP's ex-wife thought she could have the best of both worlds.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/21 07:20 PM
1

I posted the full story in r/survivinginfidelity. At first I was devastated. I blamed myself for her dissatisfaction with our relationship and feeling the need to do something like that. But, the good folks of Reddit helped me better see that the relationship I had with my wife was toxic, and that is why we had trouble to begin with. It is sad to see my family to be broken to pieces, but at the end of the day it is because she has made a series of selfish decisions that are beyond my scope of co…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/21 03:36 PM
2

Parental enablers of bad behavior absolutely destroy their kids by financing their irresponsible life choices.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/21 06:09 AM
1

When she showed me pictures of her weekend solo trip, among them were pictures of some bars. She mentioned "we were here..." My reply: "We? Who were you with? I thought you were alone!"
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/21 06:07 AM
6

Not just in divorce, but often in counseling and social support to.
/r/MGTOW28/04/21 01:47 AM
1

This made me laugh. Having been married, I think this happens because girls are raised now to believe that any expectations of them is sexist. This person described sounds very entitled.
/r/MGTOW26/04/21 07:48 PM
2

That's why I posted it. All those happy people clapping at your wedding will become an angry mob coming for you at the end. lol
/r/MGTOW23/04/21 05:32 AM
2

I guess it's time to play videogames while she goes home in her Uber then.
/r/MGTOW23/04/21 02:35 AM
3

FACT!!! (Confirmed by a previously married guy)
/r/MGTOW22/04/21 10:37 PM
1

I had this same kind of interpersonal problem throughout my 20s. I looked very young and boomers I would work with often blew off my ideas and proposed contributions. I was often told that I would not be allowed to take on xyz responsibility at work because of inexperience. What I'd do to deal with it is just not take it personally, let them flop at their own ideas, then when the situation intensifies propose my idea again. Sometimes that would work and I'd be credited, or not and those around m…
/r/MGTOW22/04/21 05:54 PM
2

Actually I've learned that it was not quite that. He's no beta, he's a broke ass literal bum who is tall and good looking. Someone we both know. I'm starting to believe her story now that it was just a make out session and not full blown nasties, but that doesn't change the outcome. Fact is she got bored being a housewife and wants to try out a new lifestyle. End of marriage. The in law pitchforks come out no matter what.
/r/MGTOW22/04/21 05:00 PM
2

My wife was surrounded by bad influences, too. Other feminist women with rocky relationships and her family. It was a toxic echo chamber. No one there to convince her to stay and work things out, or at the very least encourage her to improve her expectations and communication skills. Women are certainly fed a lot of toxic messaging these days that tells them they don't need to reflect on themselves and enact self-improvement.
/r/MGTOW22/04/21 05:01 AM
1

Well I might actually be lucky in that so far our divorce discussion has been very cordial. No major resentments other than how we let each other down in our expectations for marriage. Rather than get hyper defensive, I think avoiding escalation will be a more effective strategy. We shall see. My STBXW and I just today talked of how we both like each other and enjoy the things we do together, but the arrangement of marriage clouds all of that with the pressure of expectations. Who knows what the…
/r/MGTOW22/04/21 04:53 AM
1

When that bond breaks, it will literally make you physically sick.
/r/MGTOW21/04/21 07:41 PM
1

I'm in the exact same situation as you today, but with a wife of 13 years who just last week told me she wants to divorce. Just like the flip of a switch, she completely shut off all affection for me. We have a six year old little girl. I'm in terrible pain missing my wife. We had issues very similar to you. I might be a future version of you if you stuck with this girl. Like your girlfriend, my wife had a useless college degree and was unemployable for many years until recently when she just co…
/r/MGTOW21/04/21 07:29 PM
1

Were are the plates you're spinning coming from? Dating is like real estate. The best real estate is only on the market for a very short time before it gets taken. Think about how of all the girls available at the moment, most of them probably have awful personality flaws that keep them on the dating market. Any girl who has something good to offer gets wifed up or into a stable relationship pretty quickly.
/r/MGTOW21/04/21 07:08 PM
13

The people closest to you are the ones who will hurt you the most.
/r/MGTOW21/04/21 06:11 PM
12

I'm well aware of female nature, educated by Sandman, MGTOW is Freedom, and others. I just got the red pill after I was married and noticed how my life circumstances have changed. I think during those early days of our relationship, I probably was the "alpha" guy for her. It's really hard to keep up a show of strength when once you are in a marriage, she has the power of coercion through divorce threats and other little nasty passive aggressive tricks. I saw the cracks in our marriage as soon as…
/r/MGTOW21/04/21 04:27 PM
27

Why are women attracted to degenerate thugs? I don't get it. My stay at home wife of 13 years just cheated on me with one and now wants a divorce. I wasn't so mad about the cheating as much as the nasty guy she cheated with is so broke he never had a car and lived in a tent for several years. Yet all this time my soon to be ex always complained that we don't have a big enough house and take enough expensive vacations.
/r/MGTOW21/04/21 01:21 PM
10

I'm 35 and was with this woman for 13 years of my life. It is very difficult for someone you thought you had a close connection with to leave the house one day, come back with a different personality that hates you, and tell you that this is who they were all along. Thank you for the words of support everyone.
/r/MGTOW21/04/21 01:10 PM
72

So glad I found this post. Last weekend, out of the blue, my wife cheated on me with an ex bf, then came home and told me that I need to accept we are getting a divorce and she feels nothing for me anymore. I have been extremely depressed. This post was just what I needed right now. Uplifting. Showing the positive side of what's ahead in this journey. Thanks.
/r/MGTOW21/04/21 06:05 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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