MarkAylward13 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
46	Nobody warns you that the hardest part of divorce isn't losing her. It's not knowing who you are without the role.	MarkAylward13	/r/Divorce_Men	23/03/26 01:49 PM
10	I kept getting advice from people who loved me. It almost cost me my kids.	MarkAylward13	/r/Divorce_Men	16/04/26 02:36 PM
8	Nine years of litigation taught me that memory is not a reliable witness	MarkAylward13	/r/Divorce_Men	20/04/26 06:27 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	The small moments Nobody warned me about the Tuesday mornings. I expected the big stuff to hit hard. Signing the papers. The first holiday alone. Moving out. What I didn't expect was the silence. The specific kind of quiet that shows up when the house used to have a sound to it and now it just doesn't. No one making coffee in the other room. No background noise. Just you and whatever you decide to do with all that empty air. I remember standing in my kitchen about three weeks after everything was final. Kids were…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/05/26 07:11 PM
1	My kids basically begged me to stop the big weekends… so I said forget it and bought a $30 soccer goal This one hit me when I read it because I did the exact same thing. After my divorce I went full Disney dad. Every weekend had to be an event. Every visit had to top the last one. I was running a highlight reel because I felt guilty about the parts of their lives I was missing during the week. My daughter finally said something to me about six months in. She didn't want to go anywhere. She just wanted to watch a movie and eat pizza at home. I almost argued with her. Then I caught myself. I had be…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/05/26 07:07 PM
3	What Are These Games I see two choices. File for divorce or go seek counseling. The purgatory your in will kill you. I experienced exactly what are describing and then my world blew up. So many things I would have done differently in hindsight, but limbo is a no no. Choose and act. I would always say try to figure it out, but a third party is a requirement. Too many emotions. It's too much to handle without a qualified agent. I'm not a therapist, but if I can. help, reach out. It's what I've dedicated the rest of my…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/26 04:46 PM
2	Can I just get a BREAK from these emotional blows? I found some practices that saved me from this. Of course time is your best friend. This too shall pass. I found (re-found) Church, yoga, meditation, breathwork, journaling, exercise, whole foods, sunshine...and a wonderful woman who I've been with for 7 years now. My point is...occupy your time with good work and do the inner work as well. All my "practices" are either free or very inexpensive, they take small amounts of time and they are all enjoyable. Small incremental consistent steps over l…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/26 04:41 PM
2	Completely out of the blue. Are all divorces supposed to be this intense? I miss my family Try to make your decisions with one thought and one thought alone. Is this in the best interests of the kids. That's your North Star. Also kids are a lot stronger than you think. Try not to worry about them too much. Whatever is true...they will figure it out over time. I got sole custody of my three kids acting as my own attorney (I'm not an attorney), but it took me almost 10 years and millions of dollars. Today my kids are all doing well and we are strong. If I can help, reach out. It's what …	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/26 04:34 PM
3	Fight Spending Sprees with Spending Sprees? No matter what you choose about the spending...document everything. Also, if she's doing that, she's doing other bad stuff too. The hardest thing for me was learning how to think like a criminal. I know it sounds off but she was a criminal and I kept getting "surprised" by the things she did and said. In hindsight I was naive, but at some point I was just being stupid. I never did get to criminal thinking, but it would have served me. I would advise not to meet bad behavior with more bad behavio…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/26 04:28 PM
2	Need advice You need your own place man. That's an accident waiting to happen. It gave me the chills just reading it. The last couple of years of my marriage sounds like your existing situation. The cold shoulder, the silence...horrible. I can't see anything else happening here but things getting worse. Resentment compounds. Do yourself a favor and bolt. Now. Reach out if I can help. I do kind candor in this space	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/26 04:22 PM
1	49M single dad of three rebuilding life—looking for advice from guys who’ve been here Hey I have more experience in this area than I'd care to admit:). Rather than spout tips, I invite you...and any guys here that want some help/guidance to reach out, I recast myself as the guy who helps guys rebuild from divorce. The best way to access a bunch of my content (mostly free) is to go see if you'd like to connect with me on LinkedIn. I won't put any links here because Reddit frowns on that so I'll be passive. My name is Mark Aylward. Look me up there if you'd like and read some stuff…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/26 04:17 PM
1	Nine years of litigation taught me that memory is not a reliable witness Good for you, but I beg to differ. It wasn't until we sat in front of the 6th and final judge (a youngish woman) that I saw concern for my children. I saw the look in her eyes when my eldest put her hand on the Bible before testifying and she lost it. The judge looked at me, then her mom and then back at me and I could tell, she thought, "Oh I see what's happening here" and I knew I had won 9 years, 6 judges and only the last one cared. The other older judges had seen so much horrible behavior, …	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/26 02:08 PM
1	Nine years of litigation taught me that memory is not a reliable witness I've never before or since been so emotionally ill equipped to make difficult decisions. I suppose I should be grateful I ended up on the other side of this...in spite of me:) Most of my observations about divorce for men are obvious in hindsight and difficult to remember in the moment When is emotional trauma, we need to be reminded more than we need to be taught	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/26 01:31 PM
1	I kept getting advice from people who loved me. It almost cost me my kids. Good call dude. Sorry about your struggle. If you have any specific questions fire away. If not I wish you the best and I can assure you, the lights come back on. Chin up	/r/Divorce_Men	16/04/26 04:50 PM
7	Throwing it in the void Hindsight being 20/20 if I could go back, I would do 2 things differently (the list is much longer than that:). I would ask the question, "what would an experienced criminal do?" and "what is the worst outcome I could imagine coming from this action?" I wouldn't use these necessarily to act. I would use them to prepare. I was blindsided because I could never imagine someone doing such a thing. That was naive In closing, I would also tell all the dads...you're kids are MUCH stronger than you thin…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/04/26 01:52 PM
1	Nobody warns you that the hardest part of divorce isn't losing her. It's not knowing who you are without the role. I just posted on LInkedIn about my most helpful lesson that I learned during my divorce... The opposite of love is not hate It's apathy. As soon as you can muster the strength to ignore her, everything get's lighter Laugh, walk away...ignore her Anger is what she wants Ignoring her will blow you away...after she stops yelling:)	/r/Divorce_Men	25/03/26 11:47 AM
1	Life after Divorce Happy and peaceful...it took a while and some simple healthy habits. It started to turn as soon as I took back control of my own shit. As soon as I stopped feeling sorry for myself and recognized that my future was up to me. No other things or people...just me	/r/Divorce_Men	23/03/26 01:52 PM