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MarriedLifter Archive

View 7 posts and 508 comments by MarriedLifter on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I met virtually all my close friends at university, still keep up with them to this day, and meeting them was the first time I ever felt like I belonged somewhere and had people who genuinely liked me IRL. Yes, this. I wasn't exactly a social outcast in high school, but I never really clicked. Part of this was that I was one of the smartest students in a very small high school, and there wasn't a ready-made friend group for people like me. I mean, I had a couple of close friends, plenty of acqua…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/17 03:09 PM
3

Haha haha haha haha. Source: Am tall man. No, seriously, height provides a small bonus, and a couple women have admitted as much to me. But social skills and status both play much larger roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/17 12:13 AM
–

I recently lost 40lbs and hit my goal weight and am now 5'4 120lbs. Guys that gave me no mind before are suddenly banging at the door. They saw right through me before and 40lbs isn't that much difference really. I instantly dismiss them as 'unworthy' of the new me. I've lost more than 40 lbs, and I understand where this feeling is coming from. I mean, I'm obviously off the market, but the difference is still really clear. Before, women were certainly polite. But now they actively start conversa…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/17 01:06 PM
3

When was the last time a left-leaning candidate did anything for the rural poor? Senator Jim Webb (D-VA) was main driver of the Post-9/11 Veterans Educational Assistance Act of 2008. He has certainly seen rural poverty up close and personal and has written entire books on it. Unfortunately, he's a terrible campaigner and bombed in the Democratic debates. Like, really, your candidate calls them "deplorables" and doesn't even bother to campaign in their areas and you think they're stupid for not v…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/17 07:32 PM
2

Remember my theory of relational poverty and how it led to inceldom? I've been refining that, among other things. If "relational poverty" means "not having a mixed-gender group of friends to hang out with", I could easily see that being a huge factor in why some guys fail at romance. A situation like that stacks the deck against you in many ways: You don't get enough practice socializing. You lack the "social proof" that comes from other people seeing you interacting with other men and women, so…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/17 01:46 PM
2

Yup. Every single one of whom was a proud Democrat. The modern political alignment between the right wing, populism, nativism and racism goes back to LBJ and Nixon, and it's still not complete in some places. (I think WV is finally flipping the rest of the way.) The old money in the northeast has always thought the plantation owners and their poor white allies were terrible people. This literally goes back before the Revolution. One modern manifestation of this might be self-proclaimed SJWs atta…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/17 10:48 AM
7

Yup. In romance novels (single book HEA), sex usually happens pretty reliably about 70% of the way through the book. At least in the books I read, things may get pretty hot and heavy a couple of times before that, but circumstances will intervene, and the heroine may need to tell the hero one of: "No, you can't just order me around like an inferior", " I need to know that you're not just playing with my emotions", or "We could never be together because reasons." Or somebody gets kidnapped right …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 07:34 PM
6

As if on cue, the token blue piller telling people that nobody thinks about relationships and sexual success when they choose their career path, because "nobody" gives it deliberate, conscious thought. Would you please indicate where I said that? I'm specifically discussing the OP and the Google memo, and expressing a certain amount of skepticism that men become programmers in order to have a "successful and varied sexual life." In general, I suspect that certain professions are often chosen for…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 04:13 PM
9

So are you really arguing that guys become programmers because they want to get laid a lot? I mean, I know pop-culture stereotypes have changed some over the last 20 years, but I have trouble believing they've changed that much.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 02:59 PM
23

I once had a hobby that was well over 95% female. Every time I attended events, it seemed like every conversation started, "Oh, look! A guy who does X! That's so cool!" The first 10 times or so, I felt welcomed and encouraged. After that, it got really tedious and predictable to keep having the same damn conversation. Worse was shopping for special equipment, and receiving condescending lectures from store clerks that assumed I was an idiot buying a gift. Now, I assume that women in a heavily ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 02:02 PM
9

therefore men are driven to the most lucrative professions that the current job market offers, in this case tech jobs, to be provider for women and for their families or also to attract a variety of partners and have a successful and varied sexual life. Google is a low-risk tech job at a giant, profitable mega-corp. Also, men do not go into software engineering because they think that it will provide a "successful and varied sexual life." If for hypothesys shoveling manure was one of the most pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/17 01:51 PM
5

Instead of blaming their romantic cluelessness on Disney movies, they'll say, "But the old guys in martial arts movies were so badass! How could I have known!"
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/17 09:46 PM
3

Out of curiosity, do you find that people in real life are angry at fat women? I do certainly see it online. Some TRPers, for example, seem to take fat women almost as a personal insult. But then again, you can find TRPers who hate women for lots of other reasons, too. And the incels and MGTOW can be a hundred times worse. But I've never heard it in real life, and I even know a decent number of gym rats. I'm not saying it doesn't happen and I'm not saying you're wrong! I'm just curious if this i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/17 10:28 AM
8

On the subway I'm a deaf mute. Yup, learned that the hard way. I'm a small town guy who's used to striking up conversations with people in the street. And I'm pretty big, so normally I don't give a shit. But every single person who has ever started a conversation with me on the subway has either been extremely drunk or completely fucking nuts. Just no.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/17 04:41 AM
2

Wtf, a bluepiller actually understanding the concept of "moral hazard", I am genuinely surprised. One important thing to understand about upper-middle-class liberals is that we rarely see what Marx called the lumpenproletariat: the people with really screwed up lives. We do see the working class, and if we pay attention, we notice that the working class is having a pretty bad time. So our mental model of welfare is basically, "Here's somebody who takes pride in hard work and self-discipline, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/17 12:17 PM
1

I'm the kind of guy who'd wear the female slutty costume for Halloween, then go dance all night. Sober. I do drink, occasionally. I try to never go beyond "slightly tipsy", because even one more drink makes everything less fun, for some reason. But I don't even want to talk about some of the ridiculous things I've done completely sober. I'm just glad that there weren't cellphones or Facebook back in the day, is all I'm saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/17 11:24 AM
9

Neurotypical people with normal social skills eventually learn to express sexual interest and recognize it using body language and facial expressions. (This is what the RP posters here call "IOIs".) It's considered polite for both sides to gradually escalate from subtle indicators to more obvious ones in a way that preserves plausible deniability. Nobody has to be put on the spot, and nobody needs to hurt somebody's feelings by clearly rejecting them. If you're not neurotypical, or if you have v…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/17 07:11 PM
4

"Love bombing" is normally listed as one of the stages in an abusive relationship, usually right after the abused person finally starts getting upset. Remember the South Park movie, where Satan was sleeping with Saddam Hussein and being abused by him? This scene has some "love bombing" (and related BS) by Saddam.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/17 06:08 PM
3

Well, there used to be several fat-hate sub-reddits that got officially expelled from Reddit by the admins. Those could be really cruel, and they tended to target mostly fat women, including ones who were just minding their own business. But a lot of this stuff has a clear undercurrent of "how dare ugly/fat women have romantic standards and/or exist," at least to my eyes. Or closer to PPD, some RP posters say pretty horrible things about women, including in romantic contexts. So I'm not seeing a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/17 04:50 PM
8

But good luck trying to find men taking the time to ridicule women for putting themselves out there and approaching a guy. r/ChoosingBeggars has had some pretty cruel mockery if you look at older posts, of ads that basically amounted to "single mother with two deadbeat baby daddies, bad teeth, alcohol problems and debt, looking for rich 6'3" muscled dude, white guys only plz." They also pick on men and "help wanted" ads, too. (That subreddit used to be pretty awful, but looking at the front page…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/17 03:56 PM
3

Bald men can look really good if they go the Bruce Willis route. Yeah, shaving it off is the best move once a guy gets beyond a certain point. Comb-overs are just ugly. I suppose there are drugs, but I just looked them up, and it looks like Propecia will regrow hair, but it also carries an almost 20% chance of impotence. But, for women, a lot of us were raised by bald/ing fathers. You don't want to think about your dad when you're looking at your bf/husband None of us are getting any younger. We…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/17 01:20 AM
10

(Full disclosure: I'm in my 40s and I'm annoyed that my hair is finally starting to get a bit thinner on top. Damn it, I thought I completely missed that gene! 😄) more than a few are balding From context, it sounds like you consider this a noteworthy negative? I mean, most men do eventually start losing hair. It's a side effect of testosterone. I think something like 85% of men have significantly thinner hair by age 50. Some guys get hit hard and young, others lose it slowly over decades. I had …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/17 08:07 PM
3

I'd even make a donation to speed up their development. I wouldn't. There's only two kinds of possible sex robots: Sad, uncanny and creepy. Literally Westworld. Also, if we invent robots which are smart and realistic enough to not be creepy, and we tell them they're supposed to sleep with the weirder posters on r/incels, they'll go all Terminator on our ass in about 5 seconds.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/17 09:27 PM
1

I think only completely fucked up people like serial killers, and very few people are that fucked up. Numerically, serial killers are very rare, so even if only a few people are interested, they'll still win the numbers game. Ozy did some calculations a while back: Do women like serial killers? The Wikipedia list of serial killers lists about 100 serial killers in the United States; let’s double it and say 200 just to bias it towards Heartiste. Let us assume that about one in every two thousand …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/17 05:55 PM
4

The RP sometimes likes to pretend that there's just one "sexual marketplace", and everybody in it can be assigned a simple numerical score. But the reality is that not everybody values the same thing. So for any given trait, what really matters is supply and demand. If something's rare and too many people all want it, the value will go up. The demand for "women who have convinced their boyfriend to kill himself" is pretty low. But the supply is even lower! And she just got a ton of free advertis…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/17 04:34 AM
1

pretty sure most UMC people would think they're trashy I'm thinking UMC professionals, not old money. Bad artwork? Face tattoos? Something you can't cover up in a management meeting? Sure, they're all as trashy as fuck. A reference to your PhD thesis on your ankle? Complaining about this as "dirty" would make you look really weirdly uptight. And there's a lot of these little tattoos out there. Source: Went to a prestigious university, saw a fair number of future UMC professionals, i-bankers, sci…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/17 09:08 PM
2

Lol, AskTRPers freaking out over tattoos as a sign of society's decline: Tats are trashy as fuck. Girls who get them are in constant need of validation and attention, hence the permanent mark on their skin. Tattoo's are seen as dirty in Japan. For good reason. ... Doesn't make it any less of a red flag. It's a fashion trend for impulsive, attention seeking girls. I'm as uptight and as bougie as anybody, and I've known plenty of happily married UMC professionals with a discreet tattoo. Some of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/17 08:51 PM
1

Nah. I've known short, fat, hairy players with average faces. They were funny, entertaining, didn't give a fuck, and one of them was into motorcycles and had just a bit of a bad boy edge. Nobody wants to do the mental work to decide whether or not you're actually high status. If you act like you take it for granted and don't make a fool of yourself, about 75% of the population will figure that you must be right. Attitude and confidence are so, so massive. I mean, yeah, looks help. If you're hot …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/17 05:14 PM
1

just look at the dating scene I'm no longer convinced that there's anything as simple as a single "dating scene". UMC professionals who date friends of friends are different from Tinder, and both are different from the white British underclass that Dalrymple writes about (who are a RP dystopia of single mothers and violently abusive "alpha" assholes, all living off welfare in public housing). Some advice is timeless. Take care of yourself, dress well, be sociable and fun, don't be a doormat, hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/17 12:59 AM
1

Not arguing, just partially answering your question and going off on a tangent. The closest example I've seen are these body acceptance campaigns for gay men: "Just because I don't have a six-pack doesn't mean I'm not beautiful", "#tyrannyofbuffness", "#abprivilege". That doesn't use the words "toxic masculinity", but I think it's basically arguing that gay male beauty standards can be toxic. (Personally, I find the much of the fat acceptance movement to be cringe-worthy, suicidal and anti-scien…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/17 01:49 PM
2

So this is one of those things that's hard as hell to explain, but blindingly obvious once you get it. First, if a relationship is going to happen, it's going to happen early, and it's going to be surprisingly easy, because she'll be working for it, too. Just assume there are no cheat codes or magic words that will make somebody fall for you. (But do learn how to recognize when somebody's into you and don't fuck it up.) Second, you need enough self respect to stop falling for people who aren't f…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/17 10:34 AM
6

Don't guys start getting sick at that age plus watching the CBS evening news like they all need cialis or whatever. Plus grey hair on his chest. Happily, neither men nor women necessarily age that badly if they take care of themselves. The easy stuff: Something like 80% of facial aging is from the sun, so use some sunblock face cream! Maintain a healthy weight. I know this is a RP stereotype, but dammit, lift. Men and women both. When you're young and you have tight skin, fat in the right places…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/17 08:23 PM
1

Do you have any idea how someone could build their social life and get basic social skills? Easiest way? Look for pre-made friend groups. Specifically, groups with: 15 to 40 people. Good gender balance. Similar interests. A reasonable number of friends-of-friends who wander through. Existing in-group relationships. Plenty of single people in the same stage of life. (Basic life stages in the US include "living at home", "college", "pays for the roof over their head", "married" and "kids.") At lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/17 06:40 PM
1

Bay Area programmer Well, that's his problem right there. Let's be optimistic and assume that his social group is 75% male, 25% female. There just aren't that many women around, and they're chronically overwhelmed by thirsty guys. Sure, he could upgrade his social skills into a brogrammer/startup entrepreneur type, but even those guys are a dime-a-dozen in the Valley.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/17 06:29 PM
2

Dunno. I mean, the guys I went to college with seemed to have done OK, overall. But we're talking UMC professional liberals, and a few working class folks on scholarships. I've seen overweight guys, obese guys, short guys, guys from other countries, non-white guys, autistic guys, and guys who combined several of the above, and they all found partners and got married. Statistically, 85% of them will remain married for at least 10 years. But they all had at least basic social skills, even the geek…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/17 04:00 PM
1

Yes, looks matter. Male, middle-aged, 6'+, decent social skills, OK bone structure. My weight has changed dramatically several times in my life, which gives me some interesting first-hand knowledge. (Note that I've never been interested in casual relationships, so everything below is for LTRs.) So, back in the day: BMI 30, not working out, poor fashion choices: Over a year between LTRs. BMI 25, working out but not seriously lifting, better fashion choices: Typically a few months between LTRs. BM…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/17 12:46 PM
1

Everybody is doing it. Every dude with an Internet connection has likely went online, read some redpill content that told him to lift and then started hitting the gym regularly while counting his calories. Now almost every dude has a bit of muscle mass on him (with some people taking juice) and a decent physique. You know, as a novice, middle-aged gym rat, I'd like to say that this isn't a thing. Very few guys, even younger guys, look like they lift seriously and count macros. The athletes and r…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/17 10:47 AM
4

Hey, my local locker room is nice and clean! After high school, men mostly don't talk in locker rooms. If we do, it's usually something like: "I can't believe this weather." "Yeah, what's up with that?" "Another day, another workout." "I hate leg day." "Yup." Every once in a while, people will make it past silence or the two-line conversations, and they'll talk about training. This mostly involves swapping bro science. Really, it's pretty boring and probably not what most women are imagining.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/17 05:08 PM
6

There are some pretty clear physical differences. Testosterone makes it much easier to pack on muscle mass when training. But note that these are averages. I know a middle-aged woman who weighs two thirds what I do and who squats almost twice what I do. And she's vastly stronger than nearly all untrained men. She's literally like 1 in 5 million. And yet, she'd never try to compete in a men's division; she'd lose massively. Because the 1 in 5 million guys lift far more than she does. I don't thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/17 11:37 PM
1

I guess you could say that under eye cream is basically simple makeup. It's often sold by makeup companies, at least. It's a heavy, light-colored cream that soaks into your skin pretty quickly. It makes dark circles look a lot less dark, and a bit less sunken. This will make some guys look a few years younger. It works surprisingly well, and one tube lasts forever. I'm guessing there's a couple of other quick tricks like this that will make a guy look better for very little effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/17 02:43 PM
2

One tube of good under eye cream will last for a year or two, it takes like five seconds to apply, and it makes a lot of guys look younger. There's some pretty good hair stuff, too. There's a couple of little tricks that take almost no time or money. If I'm going to kill myself in the gym to look good, I can also spend an extra minute on grooming.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/17 02:22 AM
3

BMI is calculated with the same algorithm for men and women without taking into account men's higher muscle density. yes, men are also fat but not as fat as women. As a general rule, the BMI cutoff at 25 for "overweight" is pretty generous, even for taller men. Let's assume that a guy has a BMI of 25 and an 15% body fat (athletic but no abs). That would give him a FFMI (fat free mass index) of 21.25. According to Bodybuilding.com, FFMIs of 18 to 20 cover the middle 50% of the population. It's tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/17 07:06 PM
4

OK, so let's talk about science. Here are three starting points: xkcd's Significant. Can you understand why that final newspaper headline is useless and wrong? Until you can understand that, it isn't worth discussing science. Why Most Published Research Findings are False. This is more challenging, but it goes into greater depth than the xkcd cartoon. This is a purely mathematical argument based on very reasonable assumptions. The replication crisis. Experimental psychology is probably the most …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/17 09:07 PM
5

Mormons=high prole Mormons have a weird relationship to the US class structure. Their deep cultural roots are gentry-class New England and upstate New York. They have that same moral earnestness that drives gentry-class liberal politics. Mormons and SJWs have more in common than either does with Southerners. They take a huge status hit from belonging to a proselytizing religion that's far out of the Christian mainstream. But if they can chill out about it, and if they go to the right university,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/17 11:45 PM
1

Yeah, this. If you know a relationship can't possibly work out anyway, the polite thing to do is to make sure the other person knows it's a casual thing. But if you're clear about that? You're consenting adults, do whatever the hell you both want. Obviously, context matters. If you met somewhere that casual sex or short-term flings were the default, then would be less need to be clear up front that it isn't a serious thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/17 11:57 AM
13

Not to mention the statistically ignorant that all demand a 6 foot guy as bare minimum. I mean, if a woman really wants that badly enough, she can probably get it, especially if she's willing to make compromises elsewhere. That's something like 1 guy in 5 in the US. Sure, if she wants that and a good salary and a 6-pack and a whole list of other deal-breakers, then yeah, she's unicorn hunting.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/17 11:29 AM
1

As a tall guy, anything resembling a normal height was never a dealbreaker. I dated women from just under 5' to just over 6'. I basically perceive everybody below 5'11" or so as the same height. I don't think I've ever met a woman taller than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/17 11:21 AM
3

Yeah, I have a bunch of problems with the TBP sub. They have this weird habit of assuming that all MRP divorces are bad things and TRP should be automatically blamed in each case. Whereas in my case, I agree that sure, some MRPers are idiot assholes who deserve what they have coming. But there are others trapped in loveless or abusive marriages where divorce might be better for everyone involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/17 01:26 AM
2

candidly, it's your fault, and the fault of your ilk, that these guys are how they are. Yeah, I agree that mainstream culture is failing these guys somewhere. They sound almost as if they feel obligated to put up with this ridiculous behavior, even though most of them know they shouldn't. I mean, I feel no personal responsibility for this. In the rare cases when I give advice, I've always been in favor of dumping crappy partners, and not shy about saying so. But it's not like anybody ever listen…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/17 01:22 AM
2

I don't see your problem, the sub is already very good at warning guys away from the red flags you pointed out. (EDIT: Thank you for posting the responses. I left those out because I assumed (perhaps wrongly) that everybody on PPD would know how how AskTRP would respond, and almost everybody would agree with the advice to get out.) Yeah, I think everybody on PPD, red or blue, agrees with this advice. People should pay attention to red flags, trust their gut, and get the hell out of shitty relati…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/17 01:11 AM
1

Fertility rates start falling in women's 30s and are much lower in their early 40s. Men face similar problems with lowered sperm quality by their 40s. On top of that, newborn babies are exhausting, and it's fun to have kids when you're still young enough to keep up with them for the next 20 years or so. And it's nice to be alive long enough to spend some quality time with your grandkids. So honestly, I think that putting off kids until the mid-40s is generally a poor tradeoff for both men and wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/17 07:28 PM
3

Man, that's the EXACT OPPOSITE of unethical. Which was my point. :-) Giving advice is hard, because different people will take identical advice very differently. Some people will read TRP, filter out the massive steaming piles of misogyny, and learn something valuable. Other people will read the same advice, pick out the worst parts, add their own bad ideas, and become manipulative abusers. One of my major complaints about TRP is that they make the bad interpretations far too easy, and doubly so…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/17 06:22 PM
20

People learn useful things from all kinds of weird groups and belief systems. There are some Christians who use Christianity as a inspiration for helping the poor, and there are other Christians who use Christianity as a justification for beating gays to death. I have encountered several RP posters here on PPD who seem relatively ethical. u/sardonis70 was more ethical, in my opinion, than a couple of regular blue pill posters. I think the harshest thing I remember him talking about was when he t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/17 04:32 PM
3

And I'm certainly not giving you advice, jfc you've obviously gotten enough "advice". You have more jargon down than your average sysadmin. I nominate this for PPD Quote of the Week.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/17 01:10 PM
2

Level 5: That I don't get. OK, I think I know what he's talking about, but from a professional context, not a dating context. So let me see if I can explain this. If you're trying to market a product, you have two choices: Outbound marketing. This involves things like cold-calling, mailing, trade shows, etc. Basically, you start from scratch with each customer, and convince them that they need to buy your product. Inbound marketing. This is where you attempt to build a public reputation that cau…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/17 01:07 PM
2

Well, I never saw somebody who faked pain to get drugs, but I've heard it's a thing. Sometimes the injury comes first and the opiods are prescribed for chronic pain. I do know blue collar guys who lifted heavy objects with bad form, and who've screwed up their spinal disks. As in, they may not even walk normally anymore, and they've been fighting for years to qualify for disability. I know more who aren't nearly that broken, but who still have to be really careful about physical labor. This is a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/17 01:27 AM
2

Yeah, there are plenty of greying guys that are who are pretty lean, at least in certain groups. And there are plenty of grey haired guys with decent shoulders. But the ones with decent shoulders usually have more of a gut, and the ones who are lean tend to get pretty wiry by that age. The guy I picked had greying hair, around 15% bodyfat, and some shoulder definition when he flexed. It's the combination of all three that starts getting a bit trickier. A serious jogger, for example, could easily…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/17 12:51 AM
5

To your point, I don't think it's too much to ask a middle-aged woman to be attracted to her middle-aged husband; we all get older, things start to sag, it is what it is. Yeah, getting older is a nuisance. Personally, I feel sorry for some of the MRP guys. A lot of them are in dead bedrooms, and they want to be admired and desired by their spouses again. It happens to women, too. I've read through r/deadbedrooms, and it's just so damn heartbreaking. There are women there who say, "I've lost so m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/17 11:41 PM
2

I think this is what reminds me that the bubble I'm living in is far far above average. I'm genuinely curious. How many middle-aged men do you actually see with their shirts off? Because I live in a well-off neighborhood with lots of middle-aged guys who stay in shape, who do outdoor sports, and who can afford personal trainers with a clue. Plenty of them look good with their shirts on. Once their shirts come off, they've typically got a bit more flab and a bit less muscle. But that picture of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/17 10:53 PM
4

I agree. TeRPers' desire to blame sexless marriages on women who slept with too many college jocks is pretty hilarious. I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that. But honestly, I do kind of hope that most middle-aged wives are still attracted to their "middle manager dadbod hubbies." I mean, a middle manager with a DiCaprio-style dad bod is, frankly, better than average these days. Relatively few middle aged men look like this, sadly. And I say this as a middle-aged gym goer who lifts, counts ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/17 09:28 PM
2

"Feeling entitled" is basically what folks around here call "negotiating attraction" or "making covert contracts." It's like, somebody's not attracted, so don't try to logically prove that they should be in a perfect world, because that's just annoying. And yes, women do it to, and men don't like it either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/17 04:26 PM
4

You're just looking under the wrong name. Female separatist movements have existed for decades now, as part of "radical feminism" and "lesbian separatism." Wikipedia has an overview.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/17 10:15 AM
2

I guess that might work for some but just because I'm having sex with someone doesn't mean I get to be the only one having sex with them. And I'm glad you know what works for you. Personally, I have zero interest in casual sex or overlapping relationships. I always chose not to sleep with anybody before it was mutually exclusive. This sometimes meant saying "No thank you" to offers of casual sex, or whatever. You've got some serious insecurity issues. I find this whole attitude just incomprehens…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/17 01:14 PM
1

They don't, you're talking to a bunch of uptight nutbar foreign incels I'm pretty far from a first generation immigrant incel. My ancestors have been here since colonial times, and I've been in an LTR for a long time now, and other LTRs before that. And it's not like monogamy was necessarily expected among my friends: About a third of them were poly, and I went to college parties with occasional orgies. But if I'm sleeping with someone? It's either exclusive or its over, with zero regrets. I can…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/17 11:06 AM
2

Yeah, whereas for lawyers, E3 is easy to identify: New York law firm partners earning millions a year, but working for hedge fund types for whom that's pocket change. I think Church's classification gets a little weird and very political at the top. Old money would be E2, but senior hedge fund managers gambling with the entire planet's economy would be E1.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/17 11:02 PM
3

In Church's system? I think they're mostly hoping for G2, but the reality is closer to a well-paid G3 wage slave in many cases. Church defined E3 as being equivalent to a major law firm partner or CEO. If you can find me a doctor who's making a few million a year, but who compares himself to his social group and still feels a bit like the hired help, then maybe I could see E3 under this classification.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/17 10:25 PM
3

I wondered what would happen if classes were abolished. Well, the American system described here is primarily about cultural values and only secondarily about wealth. Even Karl Marx believed the lumpenproletariat was pretty much hopeless in a communist society. And of course, even in a society without money, some people are going to more read books, or have more power, or have different cultural values. And finally, abolishing classes will never abolish pride and cruelty, as C.S. Lewis well knew…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/17 08:48 PM
–

I think your distinction between "prole" and patrician misses some interesting details. I think this analysis by Michael O.Church captures some more (even if some of his other opinions are weird). He breaks the US down into 4 class "ladders": The underclass. This is your classic lumpenproletariat, like Clevon from Idiocracy. The labor class. This ranges from "L4" (the working poor) to "L1" (successful blue-color business owners, Donald Trump). The "gentry". This ranges from G4 (community college…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/17 05:51 PM
3

Yeah, I had some friends in a poly triad, two men and a woman. They all lived together, they were obnoxiously cute, and they were all sleeping together. The younger guy was obviously madly in love with both of his partners. It seemed pretty efficient: if one boyfriend was busy playing video games or working on cars, she could always hang out with the other one. But triads are sort of a special case in the poly community. Often it's more of a primary / secondary partner setup, where you have coup…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/17 04:54 AM
6

Are the polys against men having sex with multiple women? No. But they insist that the women should also get to have sex with multiple men. "Polygyny" normally implies more of a "one man, multiple woman" model, which (a) doesn't allow women to have as much fun as the men, and (b) shuts some guys out entirely. So a poly community that opposes the "one penis policy" tends actually be fairer for everybody, as far as I can tell. It does seem to require a special kind of personality and fairly elabor…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/17 04:31 AM
5

Meanwhile, "polyamory" is celebrated by TBP. The poly community tends to be opposed to polygyny. They call it a "one penis policy" and they typically mock it. It's hard to explain poly in a way that RP would understand. Maybe the closest analogy would be "ethical mutual plating"? Except that, like, everybody talks about it, and maybe sometimes they hang out together. Not my thing, but I've had quite a few friends who were into it. I've heard people say the gender dynamics get a bit weird in Sili…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/17 03:59 AM
1

See? There's a scale that makes sense. But sadly, I spend too much time at the gym, and my sense of "squishy average" is warped. For a 40-something guy, that's, like, newbie gains and 19% body fat, right? Forever small is real.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/17 12:06 PM
1

Hah, I'm not even warmed up yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/17 07:39 PM
7

I can't really rate myself physically. And certainly not on a 1-10 scale. (I mean, does the scale use deciles or standard deviations? Has anybody validated the inter-rater reliability? For a sub with so many STEMlords, this whole "HB" scale is just embarrassing.)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/17 12:13 PM
2

-Hook up scene becomes more inclusive and less 'elitist' - those who don't partake in hook up culture in during college often feel alienated. What do you mean by "hook up culture"? The upper middle class college thing, where you have a few LTRs, and maybe a couples of flings, for a lifetime partner count of (say) 2 to 7? This whole TRP business of trying to rack up as many one-night stands as possible? Because lots of relatively normal guys do (1), if you look at the statistics. But if you feel …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/17 07:03 PM
3

OK, so I have all the privilege, and what I don't have, I can fake easily enough. Let's see how I do on checkmyprivilege.com: Your privilege level is SHITLORD with a score of 175 Lol. Yeah, I live life on easy mode, no shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/17 03:09 PM
2

Congrats! I got 27/36, which is apparently about average. I think I honestly rely more on body language and movement than eyes in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/17 08:57 PM
1

Well, sure, there's always a massive number of people who just want you to be successful and don't care how you did it. Fact of life. But one of my pet theories is that these people are usually poor LTR candidates and not worth the hassle. People who want success without looking too closely at the details tend to be more superficial than average, and more ready to bail when something goes wrong. You can't take steroids forever, and sooner or later you'll get sick or injured, and you'll lose your…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/17 08:43 PM
1

Hard work doesn't seem to be valued in our society as much as abuse. I honestly don't know where everyone gets this "just-world" from when things are clearly otherwise. Nobody is impressed by hard work that doesn't get results. But working hard and achieving your goals? As far as I can, people are pretty into that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/17 07:58 PM
1

I had an 8-pack for about six months around age 17, when I was playing sports and only being fed three meals a day. Talk about mistreating the youth. But I was too thin to be considered "shredded." As far as I can tell, nobody's "naturally" fit by age 40 in the western world today. By that age, you get the body you're willing to work for.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/17 04:56 PM
4

Women care about naturally high T skeletal structure which lifting accentuates but does not create. Honestly, a guy with perfectly average skeletal structure and facial bones who isn't fat is already pretty far ahead of the game these days. It's like, just get off reddit and do something strenuous for 3 hours a week, and learn when you've had enough pizza.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/17 02:45 PM
2

the problem is that if a woman sees a man with perfect 6 pack abs she doesn't know if those abs are due to perfect genetics and the guy has them naturally with zero effort, or if the guy's natural state is a pot belly and the abs are the product of years of hard work and discipline. the guys make look the same and fuck the same and make her tingle in the same ways but if she gets knocked up by the hard work abs guy, it's very possible that her children will be potbelly low-SMV sexual failures. H…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/17 02:32 PM
1

Even my feminine feels involve violence and explosions!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/17 11:00 PM
2

This is actually standard advice given to genre fiction writers. Yup. But—and this is hard to explain—romance heroines tend to appreciate the heroes for being badass.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/17 10:35 PM
2

There is a weird resemblance between: Male fantasies of being an action hero, and The male heroes in romance novels. I'm secure enough in my masculinity to admit that I read romance novels (the sort with explosions, at least). They have square-jawed, kickass heroes, badass heroines, steamy sex, and happily ever after endings, so what's not to love? Anyway, if you read sweet, sappy romance novels about small towns, the hero is probably at least a firefighter. I actually went through a list of "sw…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/17 10:02 PM
1

Eh, back in the day, I knew a guy who slept around a lot. He wasn't ugly or overweight, but his looks were nothing special. He was funny in a sketchy sort of way. His two main selling points were: He was technically competent in bed. A women had a good chance at multiple orgasms and some slightly kinky sex. He was game for most anything. He was pathologically incapable of commitment. He actually had quite a few takers. I always assumed that sometimes women get horny, too, and at least some of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/17 12:11 PM
1

But STEM STEM is pretty much great anywhere outside of Silicon Valley and Seattle. East coast STEM guys seem to do just fine. Texas STEM guys, European STEM guys, they all seem OK, too. They mostly enjoy their jobs, they marry in their general "league" (similar attractiveness, professionally successful, sane), and they own comfortable houses in good neighborhoods. Divorces are rare. I do get the impression that Silicon Valley can be a bit of a shitshow, though. It's like they mass-produce left-l…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/17 11:32 AM
5

Women will call you an "asshole", but it will be an asshole with the quotation marks, as they giggle and playfully punch you in the shoulder while they say it, just to have an excuse to touch you. Honestly, it's more polarizing than that. I remember a guy from school who was a weapons-grade douchebag. The kind of guy who couldn't go an hour without saying something about somebody's mother, basically. I have no idea how he kept his teeth, because he sucked in a fight. Did he do OK with women? Wel…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/17 08:35 PM
12

That guy acting like a confident asshole will just be seen as an ass. Honestly, if he has no social skills, he's unattractive, and he starts acting like a RP stereotype, then he'll be lucky to be considered an ass. That's the sort of behavior that triggers people's actual danger signals. (If he's really hot, he might just get labelled "total douchebag" instead of "possible serial killer.") Sure, confidence with a touch of arrogance can certainly be attractive. But it's a relatively complex socia…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/17 11:25 AM
2

Seeing as I asked internet strangers to look at my profile and choose pics. The only thing they commented about was my height being an issue. I mean, your height probably doesn't help, but it shouldn't be an absolute barrier. Plenty of short guys do fine. On the other hand, I once knew a guy who was amazingly built, who really good at a sport, who was insanely driven, and who was really sweet. He was romantically invisible to about 95% of women for fairly complex reasons, mostly involving social…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/17 11:00 AM
3

Honestly everytime I went there was like 5-1 guy to girl ratio. Maybe its the military base, but I never understood why every place I go to has such a large male bias. The gender ratio can make a huge difference. It's like musical chairs: somebody is going to be left out. I do lean towards everybody else's theory: there may be something which is obvious in person but which doesn't show up online. But it might be hard or embarrassing to explain, or somebody would have told you long ago. I suppose…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/17 02:56 AM
3

The woman you're describing is so rare as to be of negligible consequence in the SMP. Yeah, we're arguing at cross-purposes here and I'm not explaining myself well enough. I was making a minor, boring point. Let me try again. My argument is simply that when a woman loses attraction for her husband, it could be for any number of reasons. Sure, maybe she dated hot guys in her youth and then she settled for somebody she wasn't attracted to. Maybe her sex drive has always been pretty low, but fallin…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/17 07:46 PM
3

If she's not into HIM, PERIOD, then why the fuck did she marry him in the first place? Excellent question. Maybe she was a good evangelical Christian who: who was told that she was supposed to marry a good Christian man, who never had the foggiest idea of what she wanted to do in bed, who believed that sex was basically dirty, and who therefore never got sufficiently into touch with her own desires to marry a guy that actually turned her on? And let's imagine that her husband is sorta crap in be…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/17 07:20 PM
3

You are certainly not the first to feel this way. C.S. Lewis wrote about the darker side of "Eros," romantic love: ...Eros does not aim at happiness. We may think he does, but when he is brought to the test it proves otherwise. Everyone knows that it is useless to try to separate lovers by proving to them that their marriage will be an unhappy one. This is not only because they will disbelieve you. They usually will, no doubt. But even if they believed, they would not be dissuaded. For it is the…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/17 04:20 PM
7

I'm really glad to hear you say this. I don't really know anyone that's been married a long time but my parents and my boss. I have a couple friends that just got married and know a few who are engaged. I just can't believe this misery exists as widely as reported on MRP. A while back, I looked up some statistics about how often 35-to-45 married couples have sex. The top quarter of them still had sex more than once a week. The bottom quarter of them had sex less than once a month. (And the clini…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/17 04:01 PM
7

Yes! Love exists. But it comes in several different flavors. Some of the more obvious flavors are: Limerence, or what the poly community calls New Relationship Energy (NRE). If this is mutual, and it's with the right partner, then it's one of the coolest things in the world. But if it's unreciprocated, it hurts like hell. And if it's directed at the wrong person, it can fuck your life up like you wouldn't believe. Also, it starts fading within 6 months and it's pretty much gone within 3 years at…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/17 02:33 PM
1

It shows us we're pair bonding, with some degree of infidelity "naturally"... and not how many early philosophers proposed monogamous, or as current pop sci nutballs propose inherently polygamous like bonobos (I'm looking at YOU ickysticky). And bonobos may not be as polygamous as pop sci writers think. They do get pretty crazy in captivity, but if they're in the wild and they need to "work" for a living, then they apparently have more chimp-like patterns a lot of the time. Or so I've heard anno…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/17 01:08 PM
1

It's also true that 'sweet romances' (an actual sub-genre) sell by the fuck ton, too. A while back, I actually took a bestseller list for "sweet romances". These were books with titles like "Small Town Christmas." And then I made a list of the "sweet" male heroes' professions. It went something like: firefighter, successful businessman, firefighter, police chief, retired CIA agent, Alaskan pilot. Etc. All very nice guys, as far as I could tell from the back cover. But they definitely had stereot…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/17 10:26 AM
3

They love "alpha" and "beta" and other Greek letters every bit as much as the TRPs. But I like their alphas much better, on average. And romance novels have a strong tradition of "beta" badasses.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/17 12:32 AM
7

As the resident romance novel fan, I feel obligated to point out that werewolf romance novels sell by the fuck ton. They even call the hero "alpha" and talk about how badass and manly he is. But he's loyal to his pack, he has a well-guarded decent side, and he's madly in love with the heroine. I fear it's all quite hopeless for merely human guys these days. If you can't transform into an 7 foot tall carnivorous nightmare and eviscerate your enemies, you stand no chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/17 12:00 AM
1

Then wouldny it be fair to say that if you aren't lucky enough to live in a large city, attend college there or in general, and have a robust social circle, you're effectively SOL? Less "SOL", more "you've identified a problem, now figure out to fix it or work around it." I mean, at the very least, somebody can go on Meetup and look for interesting groups in their region, and go do stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/17 04:54 PM
3

Age is really important. 19 to 25 are prime UMC dating years, before everybody starts coupling up and having kids. After this, socializing gets harder and many of the best people are off the market. Location is insanely important. You want to move somewhere that's big enough that you can find "your people" in sufficiently large numbers to form a functional social scene. It doesn't matter if your people are "obsessive gamers" or "civil war reenactors" or "ironic hipsters." What matters is the gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/17 03:59 PM
2

but men have no choice in the matter. We have to or nothing happens ( Unless youre Chad, obviously ) Eh, you don't have to be much hotter or higher status than average if you socialize with enough women, and if you learn to read body language well enough to know when somebody's interested. It's not as effective as actually learning how to express interest yourself, and it takes a while, but lots of guys somehow manage this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/17 03:04 PM
6

If the blue side could entertain the idea that trp works the discussion would make more progress. I really think this deserves an honest answer. So as a blue piller, let me lay out a few things we probably do agree about: A lot of mainstream dating advice for men is really pretty terrible. Feminist "dating advice" often focuses on what not to do, because women are tired of being badgered by thirsty guys who can't tell the difference between "piss off", "let's flirt a bit and see", and "hell, yes…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/17 01:26 PM
10

I think it's so weird that people are even trying to place him in the SMP. Honestly? It's purely a reaction to how TRP treated Trump. TRP spent about 6 months carrying on about how incredibly alpha Trump was. But from a Blue Pill perspective, Trump has always seemed like a insecure "try hard." Part of this is a class thing: Trump may have gold-platted faucets in his private plane, but to both the professional class and to old money, that's just tacky. Both professionals and old money rely heavil…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/17 02:16 PM
16

For example, Macron is considered the ultimate beta male and they had even made a post about him being the ultimate beta on the main sub. Yeah, here's beta boy Macron crushing the hand of the ultimate TRP alpha. And here's TRP's second favorite alpha thinking "Do I wanna get pwned like Trump?" Look at that body language. Macron also pretty much smacked down right-wing head case Marine Le Pen every time she gave him shit. She's smart and mean and she still wound up looking like an idiot. Macron's…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/17 01:00 PM
2

Some asshole fuckup guys do surprisingly well. But they tend to attract fucked up women with all sorts of issues. Oh, and the percentage of women who are clueless enough to fall for this shit is way higher at 16 than 22. Personally, I'd recommend getting your head in order, becoming a decent person, learning how to socialize, and doing enough physical activity to reach 80% of your potential looks. And learning how to recognize red flags in women. That will max out your chances of winding up with…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/17 08:58 AM
12

I can't even imagine the looks on everyone's faces if one of the analysts at my husband's hedge fund tried to bring an inappropriate girl to a party. I'm cringing just thinking about it. Dating or marrying far below your class would be taken as an advertisement of romantic failure. People would treat it as only a couple steps above a mail-order bride.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/17 09:37 PM
8

Also shortly after I broke up with him I found out he'd been cheating on me for like four months, so, you know. Wow, it's like he was the complete package. Self-inflicted problems, no effort to fix them, an inability to adult, physical abuse, and cheating. I bet he always felt very put upon and mistreated, too. Good riddance.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/17 04:07 PM
1

But I am lucky enough to have an attractive boyfriend who is not fat. My argument was that the average woman is not attracted to the average man, and a liberated SMP (even with hookups involved) allows her to sleep with more attractive men. I agree that the average American is getting a lot heavier. The CDC says: Percent of adults age 20 years and over with obesity: 37.9% (2013-2014) Percent of adults age 20 years and over with overweight, including obesity: 70.7% (2013-2014) ...and if you dig i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/17 02:43 PM
3

OK, you're basing this argument on your personal views, which are relatively idiosyncratic. Your whole "Nazis are better husbands for family-oriented women" argument, for example, is not accepted by most other women. (Sorry, mixed you up with the other local troll.) So it's possible your hookup preferences are similarly unusual. So let's look at an actual survey: U.S students (150 women, 71 men) at a midsized southeastern university indicated preferences for dating and hooking up across a number…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/17 02:20 PM
2

See the second half of the quote I took from the article: Women in the study who were told they had a serious illness were seven times as likely to become separated or divorced as men with similar health problems, according to the report published in the journal Cancer.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/17 01:08 PM
2

Are men the primary cause of that, though, or are their actions primarily a result of their environment? Women have far greater access to social support than men. Sure. But there are equally plausible reasons why women might be more likely to leave an unemployed man. For example, a lot of unemployed men become depressed and sit on the couch and still expect their wives/girlfriends to keep the house clean. And a lot of women be like, "WTF, if you can't hold down a job and you can't pull your own …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/17 12:54 PM
6

Women are very careless with men's hearts. Women will break a man's hear so bad he becomes an alcoholic. I have a friend of mine who loves this woman, but she broke up with him and ever since then he's been drinking like a fish. Honestly, even if she's a totally shitty human being, this is on him. If you deal with human beings in any way, then eventually you're going to get burned. If you hang out with decent people and you look carefully for red flags, sure, you'll get burned less. But you can'…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/17 11:26 AM
5

You can workout 3x a week and go out and do other things too. Honestly, 60 minutes 3x a week is basically the rent a lot of people pay to live in a halfway decent body after 40. The older you get, the more your body becomes the direct result of your lifestyle choices. And lifting is pretty time efficient if you just want to have a bit of nice muscle here and there. Cardio junkies burn way more time.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/17 03:40 AM
2

So women should stop nickel and diming and start paying for guys then. Embarrassing for women. In my social circles (adult, professional, liberal), this would be considered pretty obvious. Always expecting the guy to pay (especially after the first date) would be as embarrassing as hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/17 03:29 AM
3

Those $10 add up if he has more than one date. If she can't figure out how to pick up the bill half the time after the first date (or otherwise work out some kind of equitable arrangement), then that would be a pretty worrying sign. Again, I'm assuming she's an adult with a real job and self-respect. 100$? Spending that much on a first date would have been weird in my 20s. We had plenty of coffee shops, social activities, and restaurants where you could get a nice dinner for two for $30 (maybe $…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/17 03:27 AM
3

Oh do you do that TRP Special Coffee? It's the kind of coffee where you arrive before her and order your coffee so when she gets there she has to pay for her own coffee? I can't even. It's like some kind of alien planet. Maybe this is my whole UMC professional thing coming out, but coffee is so cheap around here that it's embarrassing for adults to even care who pays.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/17 07:40 PM
2

Have you ever spent more money on an ex than she did on you? I outspent one of my exes. But it was pretty small stuff: dinners, an occasional nice gift, whatever. And she was an undergrad, and I had been working for a couple years working at that point, so I made ridiculously more than her. Also, she gave me a couple of really lovely gifts that were really thoughtful and not especially cheap. I honestly never thought about the financial imbalance. It was basically pocket change, and we were real…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/17 04:58 PM
9

If they avoid doxxing and they avoid telling guys to commit rape, then yeah, they have every right to be assholes and cads if that's what they want. Reddit can choose to provide space for them, or reddit can say, "Our servers, our rules. Piss off." You don't stop bad ideas with censorship, anyway. You can either makes arguments against them (like the BPs on PPD do), or mock them (like TBP does).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/17 02:57 PM
1

The toughest with me is eating. I guess I looked up Jinder Mahal's diet, who is the new WWE Champion, and he's gotten a ton of steroid claims despite the extreme wellness policy they have. http://www.gq.com/story/jinder-mahal-wwe-real-life-diet Maybe u/alreadyredschool wants to weigh in on this? But look at three things in that photo: His lats, shoulders and upper traps. In steroid users, these can get freakishly huge compared to other muscles. I think this is because they're the stereotypical "…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/17 02:49 PM
2

Can you elaborate on what this "soft side" is exactly? Some women do have a thing for bad boys, it's true. But the ones that do still don't want to get treated like shit, abused, or lied to. So even those women who like bad boys tend to prefer guys who are more misunderstood than genuinely bad. (The women who prefer genuine bad boys with no good side are fucking crazy and you want nothing to do with them. I suspect a lot of them had violently abusive fathers.) Also, "beta" romance heroes are act…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/17 10:43 AM
2

Are you sure that Murphy and the Crossfitter are on substances? Nope. If you look back at the pre-WWII Mr. Olympia photos for men, or some female rowers I knew, it's not completely impossible. But the big trick is to be that big and that low in BF, without 5+ years in the gym and insanely lucky genetics. Now, there are some dead giveaways. See a guy with acne all over his back, lats so big they look like wings, and what looks like milk glands on his giant pecs? Steroids. Does he have a six pack,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/17 10:00 AM
4

Nope. Always blue. But I do encourage people to lift.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/17 03:10 AM
7

I agree with TRP about maybe three things: Lifting will do you more good than whining. There's a surprising amount of demand for masculine men. (Though there are many different kinds of masculinity, a fact which TRP sometimes overlooks.) Don't be a thirsty doormat who lets your partner treat you like shit. But as cheesy as it sounds, I think the "TRP alpha" is basically a badly-flawed knockoff of the "romance novel alpha." Heh, I know, but bear with me for a second. The romance novel alpha is a …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/17 12:40 AM
1

I mean, I once had an 8-pack without lifting, but it was at a BMI under 19, which is skeletal on a guy. And it gets harder to get really lean as you get older. Lifting allows you to add more muscle to your frame while adding very little fat (at least not permanently). True, you don't need a lot of muscle to look good. But even if you want to be lean, a little bit of extra deltoid makes your shoulders look good.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 11:53 PM
2

1: Apart from Connor Murphy, who else would you hold up as an ideal of male aesthetics? Eh, there are lots of ideals. Some women like Connor's look. Others would totally go for Ragnar Lothbrook. Still others would be insanely into this feminine emo guy. I picked Connor Murphy in particular because he was a bodybuilder, because his videos are funny, and because it was easy to demonstrate that plenty of women thought he was hot. But personal tastes vary a lot. Btw, who is she? I have no idea, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 11:46 PM
8

That's interesting. I think it's a very important detail. If you hang out with a good number of people, and if you're interested in relationships, then you don't need everybody to be hitting on you all the time. You just need enough people who are into you that you can afford to be choosy about your partners. Let's say you're single, and most women are happy to make polite conversation with you (3), and some women are interested in you (4), but you don't really know how to recognize it. But let'…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 08:07 PM
5

What if you're a bisexual female with 95% male gamer friends? 😉 Hmm. Have you ever heard the classic phrase, "The odds are good but the goods are odd"? ;-)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 07:40 PM
1

Very possible, you just need to have more than ~12% bf. Bulking/cutting becomes super relevant below 10%. You can definitely get beginner gains while losing weight (at least for strength, maybe less so for hypertrophy?). But once your linear progression starts to stall for the first or second time (say after 6 serious months), it gets harder. I was still setting weekly PRs and losing weight around 21% body fat, but everything had to be on-point: Macros really started to matter, programming got m…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 07:17 PM
12

Disregarding social skills, the easiest way to get hotter is to get clothes that fit right and don't look horrible. Honestly, when I was heavier, I had great difficulty figuring out what people meant by "clothes that fit right". Past a certain point, people tend to want clothes that hide their body, not clothes that show it off, and there's only so much you can do. But once I wanted to show off, say, 80% of my body, clothes shopping was far more fun and I looked a lot better.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 06:42 PM
1

At 105 kg - 85 kg lean body mass my BMR is around 2234 calories Seems a little low compared to most people? When I was at 95 kg / 75ish kg lean, I was losing a pound a week on 2300 calories/day, which puts my TDEE around 2800 with three 90-minute lifting sessions per week. (And that was powerlifting with weekly PRs, which means mostly sitting on my ass recovering.) I trust my counts, too, because my coach was an utter hardass and I had a digital scale. Most people really just have to make use of…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 06:34 PM
3

As best I remember, she was actually a forum regular there, and she posted progress logs at various points during her journey. She only went to work for them after the transformation was done. Could have been faked, I suppose, but seems unlikely that she posted fake "before" pictures or messed hugely with the timeline in a private fitness log. More recently, she's been doing tons of ring work, and she's starting to get those CrossFitter/male gymnast shoulders. So my guess is that she has decent …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 06:23 PM
4

Side info: This nerd fitness stacey thing is a scam. At 105 kg - 85 kg lean body mass my BMR is around 2234 calories and 1 lifting session is like 400 calories at max. She claimes to eat 3k-4k per day. So there's one critical bit they don't mention: Staci had a serious CrossFit addiction when she posted those calorie numbers, so was probably tossing away at least 1,000 calories on HIIT and weird cardio. Didn't fit the message so they stuck it in a footnote somewhere. Did that help her? Sure. But…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 05:50 PM
1

I lifted weights for about a year and really enjoyed it. Just out of curiosity, what kind of lifting were you doing? Was there a linear progression involved? What lifts did you focus on? I'm curious because a serious year in the weight room, with plenty of big lifts, smart progression, and the right diet should have a dramatic effect on almost any beginner. If I recall correctly, you can hit something like 50% of your total genetic potential in that first year. Basically, any kind of lifting is …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 05:37 PM
5

What kind of surgery? A stomach band, liposuction and a body lift would certainly help some people look better, but a body lift is far more brutal on the body than a 6 month linear progression, from what I understand. And if you want stomach surgery to work, you're ultimately going to need almost as much self discipline as you'd need to just fix your diet in the first place. Or are you thinking something more like facial surgery? I could imagine that some people might really benefit from fixing …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/17 05:21 PM
1

I guess your right but actually applying some of those rules bother me ( not being vulnerable when in a LTR, hypergamy ) Hey, I've fucked up plenty of times in my life, and my wife still puts up with me. Sometimes I'm not sure why. Now, to be fair, if you spend all your time in a relationship being vulnerable and needy and a giant sucking emotional void, that's going to turn most women off. But then again, most guys don't like that, either. If you want to have a solid relationship, you generally…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/17 12:10 PM
2

(EDIT: Saw your update. Thanks for the clarification.) TRP can do whatever the hell it wants, within the bounds of the law. It's a free country. And I'm free to think they're irresponsible idiots. Now, TRP could have said, "If you think she's playing coy, back off. If she wants to continue, she'll have to admit she wants it." It's a takeaway, sales 101. But TRP calls this "pushing past last minute resistance," because they never miss an opportunity to sound like a villain. Now, take the sort of …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/17 11:01 PM
2

How many new TRPers can handle figurative language about human relationships? How many read the sidebar? 'Cause when I read r/AskTRP, I see a bunch of guys saying things like, "I met this foreign women online, and she says wants to marry me, but she keeps putting off sleeping with me, and she bosses me around, and I'm sure she's not AWALT, she's The One."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/17 10:20 PM
5

Because the term of art sucks and we've seen the social skills and reading comprehension of the average r/AskTRP poster.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/17 09:17 PM
9

I don't understand why she didn't make it incredibly clear that she didn't want it. Yes, I agree that if you see tears in someone's eyes or they keep moving away or asking you to stop, that usually fucking means you stop. Well, she asked him to stop a whole bunch of times and cried. And he kept going anyways. At that point, people's reactions get weird. There's an element of self-preservation: most people would prefer to be raped than murdered. Also humans tend to freeze under stress and try to …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/17 08:42 PM
2

Lol. Did I ever tell you about the romance novel with the autistic hero? He had painful social skills and he loved to talk about his model spaceships. But he could win a bar fight and pilot a fighter. Romance heroes actually vary a huge amount. But none of them are total doormats. I mean, there are probably some women out there who love total doormats. But apparently it isn't a large enough market to sell lots of books.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/17 02:55 AM
1

I mean, look at tumblr. I'm really much happier if I don't. Tumblr has some OK neighborhoods, but there's so much outright cruelty there. It's huge mobs of kids piling on other kids brutally.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/17 02:40 AM
2

If men feel that fucking a different woman every night is the only thing that could possibly satisfy a man and actually having an intimate and connected monogamous sexual relationship with a woman is some sort of pathetic comprise only meant for losers then you can all go fuck yourselves. Yes! I've known a good number of men who could have been players, but who never made any serious attempt to do so. I'm guessing that many of them didn't want it. I think for some guys, casual sex with lots of w…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/17 12:27 AM
2

Yeah, but you're the one incel who consistently makes intelligent contributions to the debate and who never says blatantly ridiculous things about average guys. You like, examine evidence and crazy things like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 11:22 PM
1

I think he was a character in the last romance novel I read. Except: He wasn't just ex-Special Forces, he was basically a strategic military weapon who got tired of wrecking cities. His mental health was good aside from a tendency to treat dangerous civilians as though they were enemy combatants. This made people think he was a sociopath when he was really a deeply principled man who was just overprotective and ill-adpated to civilian life. He was explicitly described as looking like an extremel…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 11:08 PM
7

is 6.6 a reflection of not GETTING more partners OR marrying or LTRing one or more of those 6 for long stretches of 15-44? LTRing. My "count" is actually less than 6.6, but I've turned down casual flings, and once I figured relationships out, I never had any trouble finding LTRs. I've had lots of poly friends over the years. I was never interested, and I made a point of politely declining orgies when I was younger. I was always seeking a serious, lifetime relationship, though I admit that a coup…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 09:49 PM
1

The way to do that is approach her and say "Hi". This is the correct body language return. Ah, OK, we've got our wires totally crossed here. I said that step 1 was socializing regularly (in mixed-gender groups). I'm assuming that you're already talking to lots of women all the time, and that they mostly know who you are. You're absolutely right that you need to talk to women to have a chance. But that still leaves two important skills: realizing when a woman is hitting on you, and encouraging he…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 09:26 PM
1

Well, lesson #2 (now you're lifting) you have GOT TO APPROACH GIRLS if you want to have a gal. They won't (or will only super rarely) approach you. If you are not following up IOIs by approaching you are to blame for your lack of success, no one else. At the very least, you need to get out of the house and socialize in groups with plenty of men and women, and have a good time. Then you need to learn to recognize when a woman's into you, and at least give her the non-verbal green light to go ahea…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 06:55 PM
10

There's the answer right there. Apex fallacy. Well, the upper-middle class guys are generally dating upper-middle class women, and vice versa, so theoretically it should mostly cancel out. If you're arguing that working class guys have a much harder time, why is that? Are there a lot of school teachers from blue collar families marrying well-paid professionals, and skewing the market? Do UMC guys enjoy a temporary advantage in their early 20s thanks to college gender ratios? Has the UMC's emphas…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 05:35 PM
6

I figure, for a typical woman who's not into casual sex, an ideal partner might be somebody: who's a bit of a badass (in some fashion that appeals to her) but also a likable and decent guy (although some women are fascinated with finding that in a guy), with mutual sexual chemistry, with a compatible personality, who's really into her as a person, and who knows how to adult. And I'm pretty certain that average women don't get offered that on a platter every day of the week! And yet, nothing on t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 05:16 PM
1

Anyways normally I don't advice for such stuff normally I tell people to get into lifting first Yeah, I already hit my first serious plateaus powerlifting, broke them, and was grinding out slow gains before I had to stop. Right now, I've been out of the gym long enough to get "muscle memory" gains, which go even faster than beginner gains. But I'm at the point where I think arm and chest work will pay off more than another plate on my deadlift, so I figure I need to mix up my exercises a bit. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 04:41 PM
3

USUALLY, at any one time, most men have two options : chic A, or next. Are you sure that's right??? There's just so many ppl in the world. I feel like it's better than you think. Nah, that seems about right. It was pretty rare that I had more options than "date woman A, who's clearly interested", or "wait a bit and see who else turns up." For most guys who are into LTRs, this can work fine. You just need enough confidence to say no to tempting-but-bad choices. If you've got your shit together, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 04:07 PM
2

Hah! 1 point to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 04:05 PM
13

An awesome man (e.g., "Chad") can have casual sex with reasonable frequency, with fairly good looking women. Back in college, I knew a few guys with average to below average looks who managed to sleep around a lot. One managed a new partner a week for months on end to prove that he could. Another was a poly guy who was never sleeping with fewer than 3 or 4 women. A third was the neighborhood sleaze (and I mean that in a mostly nice way): Everybody knew that he was technically competent at casual…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 03:39 PM
1

I think you know the answer but don't want to do it. Understandable. Juice ain't cheap. Honestly, I'm perfectly happy being natty. As a married, 40-something guy, I could be in the top 10% of looks for my age by counting macros and training hard, and that's more than enough. It's a good challenge and I enjoy lifting. Body building is different from strength training, you can do 8-12 or even 18 reps. One set should be 45 seconds long, go up in like 1 second, down in 3. Thank you very much for the…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 03:27 PM
4

No, the RP lifters on PPD are generally real. I can't guarantee that they're having all the casual sex they like to brag about, but they do put in their time under the bar. When they talk about lifting, they talk about plenty of obscure details that would impress nobody but another lifter. And even other lifters are too busy arguing about programming choices to spend time sitting around saying "Wow, so impressive."
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 03:10 PM
2

I once knew a player who couldn't have been more than 5'7", and who was somewhere on the upper end of overweight. But he had excellent social skills, a motorcycle, and didn't give any fucks at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 02:43 PM
3

The only problem is aching joints and other problems. What is your goal and your routine? OK, I know you didn't ask me, but I'm just thinking aloud here. I'm restarting after an injury, my PT has okayed serious training, and I'm re-running my linear progression at an accelerated rate. But I'm still trying to figure out what to focus on this time around. I'm thinking less powerlifting, and more bodybuilding/arms. Leg gains come easy to me, but my arms have been lagging more than I want. So starti…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 01:54 PM
8

And lose my sweet gainz? Never!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 01:41 PM
5

Sounds like I'm going to have to run through the sub and kick some asses then. RP and BP agree on some things after all, apparently.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 01:39 PM
5

Sadly, those who favor working out and those who favor government intervention for the public seem to be on opposite sides. You see, this just seems a bit weird to me. I live in deep-blue suburbia, and many of my friends went to good universities. And the people around here are thinner than the US average, and plenty of them have health club memberships or do outdoor sports. Our town has a crapton of jungle gyms for the kids, all carefully spread out where people live. We have all kinds of priva…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 01:31 PM
11

Well fuck some incels and solve your own problem them :) Speaking as a guy who's attracted to women, the incels here on PPD aren't exactly encouraging me to reconsider my preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 12:57 PM
6

A statistically average guy goes for months without getting laid when he's single. If you're relationship-oriented, this is really not a problem. You break up with somebody, spend a couple months getting your head on straight and sorting your shit out, and by the time you're over your ex, another relationship with somebody interesting will probably be along shortly if you want it. Don't like what's being offered? Maybe you wait a few more months so that you can have the luxury of being choosy ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 12:43 PM
10

Abs and a v-cut ain't easy. They're not? Sure, all you need to do is follow your lifting program, count your macros, and eat chicken breast until you're convinced that the world is a fundamentally cruel place. And you may need to keep it up for a long time, depending on where you started. This is one of those things that's "simple, but not easy." Maybe 5% of the population has the willpower to actually follow through. Max. Also, I got too heavy in my 30s, and even though I have above average ski…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 12:00 PM
1

I've been single for a long time because I rather have nothing than a partner who doesn't share my values or that I don't like. Good. This is the correct way to deal with a lack of good options: Stay single. But too many guys, if they've been single for too long, and a reasonably attractive women starts showing interest, they're not always going to think things through as much as they should. If your only choice is "Yes or no", it will warp most people's decision making. Most people make much be…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 11:04 AM
1

I don't have integrity or self-respect, but if a girl is low maintenance, provides affection, and doesn't overstep boundaries, I will be in kind. What romance!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 11:01 AM
1

Hey, I'm just trying to make the RPWives feel welcome. ;-)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/17 10:08 AM
6

I don't think men should commit to women who have done it to other guys, and should either reject her right away, or use her for sex and have back-ups. Eww. I'd say that "using her for sex" is much worse behavior than ghosting. I mean, unless you're up front about it and she's cool with that, in which case, you all do you. If that's the way you approach women, be aware that vetting and social filtering will start working against you, too. You'll probably still find women, but they'll be more lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/17 09:13 PM
8

How would you (BPers) sexually empower a man to help him screen women better? So, vetting! My favorite topic on PPD. Vetting is a damn good idea. I think that romantic vetting is easiest once you lay certain personal groundwork. You need three things: Personal values. Self-respect. Enough romantic choices in life that you're okay with walking away from a relationship that's a bad idea, or which will never offer what you want from a relationship. So first, what are your personal moral values? It …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/17 08:14 PM
2

For real if a stranger starts talking to me for any reason other than to ask for directions I will assume they're crazy or drunk or both and be on guard. This is my experience in several big cities, too. I grew up in a small town where cars passing in opposite directions would sometimes stop in the middle of the street and talk. (There are so few people around that you often crave more socializing.) So I'm happy to talk to strangers. But I've also lived in a couple of cities, and I've learned th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/17 04:14 PM
14

This is another one of those moments where PPD makes me feel like: I must be this mythical Chad you speak of, and I must have bloody amazing social skills, ...because the enthusiasm was always pretty damn noticeable, to the point that it was often me putting on the brakes. (I was never interested in casual flings, and I wanted a little time for vetting and getting to know someone.) Except I'm not actually Chad, and I was mostly oblivious to female interest unless somebody was thumping me over th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/17 10:07 AM
2

I mean, assuming that you're not looking for sorority Stacy, and you're not all "2/10 pointy elbows," then there's plenty of interesting, attractive women out there. So I'm suburban middle-to-upper-middle class, with a degree from a good university, and I live in a blue state. When I was in college, there were tons of attractive and intellectually interesting women everywhere. I married one! And now that I'm middle aged, I still know plenty of others, though admittedly most of them of them are o…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 05:02 PM
3

Today I took 12 diet pills lol. I can't shit without laxatives or stay awake without diet pills. Seriously, go see your doctor. That isn't normal, and I doubt it's safe. I've been on diets for 26 years and am still not thin. I'd like to know the solution. How accurate are your calorie counts? Here's a list of things that will help 90+% of people lose weight reliably: Calculate your TDEE (the calories you burn in a day), setting the activity level to "Sedentary" unless your job requires you to wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 04:28 PM
3

200 calories/day is 20 pounds/year. Multiply that by 5 years and throw in a desk job, and you've got a serious problem. Chronic pain shouldn't be a major limiting factor before 50 for most people, provided they control their weight and don't have medical issues. Hell, with decent genetics and self-discipline, plenty of people are active in their 70s.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 03:44 PM
2

I was always able to eat anything I wanted and as much as I wanted and wouldn't gain weight even if I tried. Man oh man is that not the case anymore. And it's really hard to break those old habits. It's easier to fix than you might think, but after 25, you need to own the responsibility for your health. You can be fit and lean and strong at 40, but only if you're willing to pay a price (not a horrible price, happily, but even so).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 02:52 PM
1

Out of curiosity, what kind of exercise do you do? I know that cardio really increases appetite for many people. But when I lift hard, my appetite just sort of dies. I barely even think of food until it's in front of me. Of course, I eat a lifter's diet, with ridiculous quantities of lean protein. I think that it's worth experimenting a bit. People who can track calories without becoming crazy would, IMO, really benefit from doing so for a week or two every year. Because it seems like different …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 02:47 PM
2

If you work out and eat right, aging is mostly pretty reasonable. But just don't assume that just because staying in shape has always been easy, that it will stay that way effortlessly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 01:24 PM
4

I lost over 14kgs on Keto with basically no effort, so I can guarantee that low carb high fat diets work. It's true that a keto diet will suppress appetite for a lot of people. But so will plenty of other diets. The traditional bodybuilder's "clean eating" diet—lots of lean protein and vegetables, with a good supply of carbs to support training—often makes it genuinely hard to eat enough, even when cutting. If keto makes it easy for somebody to control their weight—and they're not one of the unl…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 11:39 AM
3

How old are you? If you're 18 to 25, the future has a nasty shock for you. (Unless you have a physical job, in which case, you're fine until you wreck your back.) The combination of a desk job and the very gradual slowing of metabolism with age does a number on most "I can eat anything I want guys."
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 11:28 AM
3

Because they eat more calories than they burn. More specifically: Exercise is only about 15% of your results. The rest is diet. You can't outrun your fork (not without being a crazy distance athlete). If you want to control your weight, you need to make a permanent lifestyle change, from now until the day you die. If you go back to your old lifestyle, you go back to your old weight. If you want to control your body composition (i.e., wind up lean and strong instead of just skinny fat), you also …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/17 11:24 AM
1

Asexual. Or simply unwilling to go through with sex. I mean, assuming she isn't a female version of the Elephant Man or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/17 02:30 PM
1

He said he tried hard to meet single women, but they always gave him one-word answers and really disliked talking to him. He says that was because of his height and race. Two of my friends were players during their college years (in an ethical, liberal sort of way). One one was average height, Asian and slightly chubby—but well socialized and confident. Mostly to prove he could, he once slept with a different woman each weekend for a couple of months. Another was short, fat and hairy as a rug, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/17 02:26 PM
3

Do you think that his odds are so bad that he'll spend the rest of his life as he is now, a virgin who's never been on a single date despite a Herculean effort to find love (thirteen full marathons! Benching 250 pounds for reps! A large social circle and a decent career!) which is far more than most people here have done? At some point, you've really got to observe the person, you know? I've known plenty of short guys, plenty of fat guys, plenty of Asian guys, plenty of geeky guys, and several g…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/17 11:20 AM
1

they could just get sperm donor and take care of the kid by themselves. Speaking as a parent: I have no damn idea how single parents raise children to age 5 without cracking from overwork and lack of sleep. The work is endless, especially at younger ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/17 12:55 AM
3

Well, I have no idea how relationships work for immigrants who haven't fully assimilated into the local culture, if that's part of what you're asking. I have known a few immigrant guys who were sort of hopeless at socializing in the US. But in general, I would assume that a severe lack of social skills and social experience would be a major "flaw" in terms of the dating market. I mean, imagine saying, "Yeah, he's reasonably smart, he's in decent shape, he has a good job, he's reasonably good-loo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/17 12:09 AM
10

it will be an uprising where women with tattoos and multiple partners who are looking for men in their late 20s and 30s will have no men to take care of them. All the women in my university-era friend group who had tattoos and multiple partners either (1) climbed the corporate ladder far enough that they'd be insulted at the idea of somebody "taking care of them", or (2) got happily married in their mid-to-late 20s to a guy with a similar background, and appear to have reasonably egalitarian mar…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 08:05 PM
5

There will not be a beta male uprising. They will, instead, make polite complaints in a non-confrontational manner. No, seriously, maybe I'm too old to see it, but most guys manage to find a relationship with somebody of their own social class who is reasonably into them. And the upper-middle class will continue to either get married, or will at least co-habitate in a way that basically resembles marriage. And the majority of people will remain in their first marriage, just as they've always don…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/17 07:55 PM
6

I know such people exist but that sounds exhausting. Sure, I'll stand up for myself in a relationship (or on the job), and I'll defend my family. But if somebody wants to be a follower, fuck that shit. Give me a proper Viking sword-maiden any day, you know? Or at least own and manage your shit like a real adult. So not being especially attractive to someone like her is a plus in my book. It's a fundamental incompatibility. Also, I agree with Louis CK.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/17 11:03 AM
2

OK, since everyone says this is an obvious fake, I haven't bothered to read it. But to answer your question: there's an easy way to avoid looking like a fool, having your feelings crushed, or merely acting like an awkward pest. If somebody seems interesting, go talk to them. If they don't start flirting with you and showing some concrete interest, then have enough damn self respect to not build this into a huge thing in your head. Move on. If somebody's interested in you, they'll make it easy an…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/17 10:49 AM
18

Upper-middle class 40-something here. A lot of the people I knew, male and female, graduated from college having slept with (mostly guessing here) 1 to 10 people, with a few outliers who were poly or into casual sex. From talking to other guys at college—at least those guys who weren't virgins themselves—the attitude towards female virgins was often one of slight reluctance. Being somebody's first partner was seen as a fairly important responsibility, and more experienced guys didn't want to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 03:39 PM
1

According to the guy I was arguing with, men love women for their inner being and soul, so if you love someone that deeply you would gladly relationship them. This doesn't even make sense. Like, I'm monogamous, and I have more than one female friend. When I was single, I also had more than one choice about who to date. And if I have more than one choice, why wouldn't I stop and ask myself, "Which of these people is the better choice?" Being somebody's friend is only a medium-sized commitment—you…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 03:27 PM
1

I don't mean a casual, friends with benefits type relationship. I mean heading towards marriage and kids LTR. Oh hell no. When I was in college, I had attractive female friends that I wouldn't have dated under any circumstances, because their brand of crazy was explosively incompatible with my brand of crazy. Really dear friends, deeply entertaining to hang out with, obviously profoundly bad romantic choices, even for college relationships. And I also had plenty of female friends I just didn't f…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 01:48 AM
12

i am genuinely asking because i cannot conceive of the type of people to whom bars, clubs and parties were an alien secret world in college and high school OK, that post you found was just hilariously awful. WTF. I did not party in high school. I lived in the sticks and I didn't have a car. In college, I discovered that smoke-filled rooms and loud music were basically my personal hell, and that I wanted nothing to do with them. So I hung around with my other STEMlord friends (male and female in …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/17 01:37 AM
2

But again, anyone ever involved in an affair has no leg to stand on bitching about angry, bitter men. They are partly the cause of that anger and bitterness. If they truly gave a shit about it, they'd stop banging other men's wives. Blue pill my ass. The real BPers should be offended. Oh, good grief, what an asshole. My attitude towards cheaters (and their affair partners) is right up there with r/relationships: divorce them immediately and permanently, and let them be each other's punishment. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/17 01:47 AM
1

Are you telling me that a hunter-gatherer army can successfully destroy a rival clan and take all their women without fear of revenge? Well, consider the Yanomami. According to Wikipedia, they practice a mix of agriculture (with frequent relocation of villages) and hunting and gathering: The Yanomami can be classified as foraging horticulturalists, depending heavily on rainforest resources; they use slash-and-burn horticulture, grow bananas, gather fruit, and hunt animals and fish. They supposed…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 10:12 PM
3

Don't confuse your caveman ancestors with farmers who lived 5,000 years ago. I mean people with no agriculture, no organized religion that we know of, no personal ownership of land, no fixed permanent area called "home". This is what anthropologists usually call a band society, with an upper limit of 60 or 100 people. Band societies don't have official leaders with job titles, but they do tend to have what TRPs would refer to as "AMOGs": guys who are charismatic, persuasive, or just generally lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/17 01:50 PM
3

No, you also have to have long conversations about it to be poly, as far as I can tell. ;-) And there's a much higher chance of getting along with your partner's partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/16 11:39 PM
3

I'm blue, but my personal theory (based on working with the public) is that: 10% of people are amazing human beings. 80% of people are really not that bad. Just people, basically. 10% of people suck. I've certainly seen some of the stereotypical behaviors that the RP folks like to complain about, but it generally comes from that bottom 10% of horrible people in my experience. So you just need to vet enough to avoid those people, get your shit together enough to avoid being one of that 10% yourse…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/16 08:23 PM
3

This kind of sparked an idea in my head - maybe at least some women pick up the more necessary parts of getting a partner (looks matter) because we go through puberty that changes us so much and garners a lot of male attention. I wonder if this is where some of women's complaints about "objectification" come from? I know u/UA_Hammer will be annoyed by this comparison, but when he started lifting 10 hours a week, he got plenty of female attention. Obviously, he knew that his looks played a huge p…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/16 04:57 PM
3

show me a female body builder who has been on the same amount of T as transmen are prescribed, nonstop, for years or decades. OK, some I'm a natty lifter, and this isn't my area of expertise. But this was an interesting question, so I did a little Googling like u/justtypingcuz suggested, and here are some pretty typical examples of female bodybuilders who are taking very high doses of male hormones: Example 1 (allegedly she developed facial hair and later an unrelated drug habit) Example 2 Examp…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/16 03:43 PM
5

Much like "performing femininity", I imagine. Being a performing seal would wear anyone down. Yeah, I've always thought that "performing femininity" looked like a total pain in the ass, too. I've always had a bias towards women who don't put on the full act; my personal idea of hell involves dance clubs and Valley girls. But there exist subtler versions "performing femininity" of course, just like there exists "natural makeup." One of the things I find a bit sad about TRP is that—if you do it ri…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/16 01:06 PM
5

She got the queer guy experience, and it was awful. I've actually read interviews with her, and excerpts from her book, and she was actually treated quite well and sympathetically by other guys. Believe it or not, once you get past high school, guys recognize that "performing masculinity" is a pain in the ass, and that a lot of people aren't good at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/16 11:13 AM
3

By the power of the curl bar… I am Chad! No, seriously, all kinds of guys get pursued. And even more guys get really blatant hints if only they pay attention. It maybe goes all the way down to the 40th percentile in looks?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/16 11:03 PM
6

PPD is good for the male ego. I can't tell you the number of times a guy here says "But women only act like that with Chad", and I'm like, "Huh, I must have been Chad." I got approached more often than not. When I was young, I kinda had to be beaten over the head before I realized a woman was into me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/16 08:15 PM
6

Can you tell me about this "vetting" process and what you involve in it for a woman and a woman should involve in it for a man? You're a RP woman, I think, so maybe you'd prefer the vetting advice on r/RPWives? They have more experience with that end of things, and they talk about it a lot. As for guys vetting women, I'd recommend starting with moral character: Is she honest? How does she treat people? Then personal peeves: Does she play mind games? Does she expect you to be a telepath? Can she …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/16 02:29 PM
9

Typically, unless something is really off about your initial appearance or you come across as a complete dick, 95% of girls will not tell you to go away or throw their drink in your face, they’ll tell you that they have a boyfriend. OK, keep in mind that I'm coming this from the perspective of a guy who always wanted a LTR (and is now married), and who has turned down ONSs with people I was actually fond of. So if your ambition is to sleep with as many people as possible, this won't necessarily …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/16 12:56 PM
22

Why would a woman in a gang bang claim sex was consensual with some guys and not all of them? Because she thought that two of them were cute and she was horny, but she didn't want to fuck the others? Life pro tips: Before having sex with somebody, make damn sure they're into it, either verbally or by them tearing your clothes off and taking the initiative. If you gang bang a drunk woman in the back room at a frat party, and you wind up on disciplinary charges, don't act so fucking surprised. Dru…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/16 12:17 PM
3

Love is less about personalities than it is about circumstances. We bathe in fucked up circustances and then emerge with "LOVE". Most of that falls into the divorce abyss. You can't find love in a desert, and and love is moot if it is taken away from you. Honestly, this sounds a bit like something a 17-year-old would post on Tumblr (not that that's bad, most of us go through that phase). It sounds important and dramatic, but what does it actually mean? Love is less about personalities than it is…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/16 11:42 AM
7

This describes every girl and guy (beta orbiters) in the scene The poly guys I know seem to get laid a lot, and I don't hear them complaining. Except that they never have time to hang out with their various girlfriends. Seems like a strange definition of "beta orbiter" to me. Now personally, I don't enjoy constant relationship conversations or complicated relationships, so it was never my thing. But it can certainly work if you're into that sort of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/16 03:44 AM
10

Giving advice is hard, and not just romantic advice. Most advice relies on a background of knowledge that can be used to interpret the advice correctly, and know when to choose between conflicting advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/16 01:08 AM
25

Some of the advice you mention isn't exactly bad. It's just easy to misinterpret. So let me try to clarify. be nice, The wrong way to interpret this: Be a doormat with no boundaries who's way more invested in your potential partners than they are in you. The right way to interpret this: Be a kind, magnanimous person. I spend a lot of time hanging out in weight rooms, for example, and you wouldn't believe how many of those huge guys in the squat rat are just really great guys. They're always happ…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/16 12:46 AM
9

Ozy, if I recall correctly, you live in the middle of a tech hub, you're poly, and you have a thing for smart, slightly under-socialized geek guys. And you have groupies. I'm actually kinda impressed, now that I think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/16 09:03 PM
7

Who doesn't like to be complimented and treated well? People with an "avoidant attachment style", mostly. See this article for more details. Here are the highlights: There are three main attachment styles in romantic relationships: Secure... Anxious... Avoidant Equates intimacy with loss of independence Constantly tries to minimize closeness Once you get past 25 or so, the dating pool is full of avoidants: Why Avoidants are So Prevalent In the Dating Pool They end their relationships more freque…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/16 02:45 PM
6

Men fawn, dote, and attempt to woo women, who are then turned off because he's "supplicating", and go for the arrogant asshole. I was once very aggressively wooed by a woman who didn't interest me at all, and who wouldn't take a hint. Unless there's some baseline attraction there, all the nice treatment in the world be unwelcome and vaguely creepy at best. If men are to be more successful, we have to treat women worse than we would prefer. I think there's actually two different versions of this.…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/16 02:16 PM
7

Fuck dying for me. Job number one is saving the kids, always.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/16 06:01 PM
11

There's a famous quote about this particular tradition from Sir Charles James Napier: Be it so. This burning of widows is your custom; prepare the funeral pile. But my nation has also a custom. When men burn women alive we hang them, and confiscate all their property. My carpenters shall therefore erect gibbets on which to hang all concerned when the widow is consumed. Let us all act according to national customs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/16 05:59 PM
8

Honestly young guys can be so naive. In both directions! When I was young, I missed some pretty blatant signals. My most embarrassing story along these lines: When a crush actually asked me, "Do you want to sleep with me tonight?", and I just sort of froze up and acted polite for a second, and assumed she meant some sort of platonic sleeping arrangement! I'm pretty sure that she was looking for any sort of hint that I was interested in her romantically, and I didn't give it to her. I had to lear…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/16 05:53 PM
5

Right. In a case like that, there are two major possibilities: Your partner doesn't want to have sex. If you proceed, you're a rapist. Your partner wants to have sex, but they're playing a stupid game. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I'm with Louis CK on this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/16 01:57 AM
4

it puts off neurotic submissive betas, like its supposed to From the guy's perspective, I'm not seeing the problem [edit: with being "put off"]. Back when I was single, my theory was that if she wasn't into me, somebody else would be soon enough. But then again, I was looking for LTRs, not one night stands. Also, I always filtered ruthlessly against mind games.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/16 01:49 AM
7

I'm at least as far left as Bernie's actual positions aka "promise young people free stuff so they'll vote for me." More along the lines of "If you still have a job, it's only because we haven't figured out how to automate it, but we're working really hard on that." On the other hand, bread and circuses are cheaper than ever, so hey, have some government cheese and free Netflix. More seriously, I think that within the next generation, we'll need a negative income tax or basic income to avoid mas…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/16 07:29 PM
5

Their options are live with someone who makes you miserable or live in a shithole with occasional jail time for missing child support payments. I just can't imagine the horror of a loveless, sexless marriage to somebody who'd still fight for significant alimony in case of a divorce. The very few divorced couples I know had comparatively amicable divorces and they share child-related expenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/16 03:05 PM
10

In terms of policy, I'm at least as far left as Bernie's actual positions. The working class is getting slowly fucked, and I fear Trump will only make things worse for them. For why I think this, see the article Hundreds allege Donald Trump doesn’t pay his bills: At least 60 lawsuits, along with hundreds of liens, judgments, and other government filings reviewed by the USA TODAY NETWORK, document people who have accused Trump and his businesses of failing to pay them for their work. Among them: …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/16 01:49 PM
1

But what are the obesity stats for the average American woman under 35? When you say "average American woman", I think the majority of obese women are more likely 45 and older, so they're out of "the game" in terms of fertility and such anyway. According to this chart, nearly 40% of women between ages 18 and 24 are overweight or obese. In their mid-30s to mid-40s, it climbs to 50%. This is using BMI, so it's less accurate than body fat percentage. But still, BMI 25+ is almost always legitimately…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/16 01:38 PM
1

Yes, start with Dr. Martie Hasselton: Thank you. The paper "How valid are assessments of conception probability in ovulatory cycle research?" looks nice and meaty at first glance. There's been a lot of garbage research on this subject so far (on both sides), and so the authors apparently decided to figure out how to design a study to get useful results. I haven't read through their simulation procedure in detail, so I can't vouch for their science. But at least they're asking the right questions…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/16 09:35 PM
1

There's more precedent for men having lots of kids by having multiple wives and concubines, than by acting like Casanova. These were the guys with the power and resources. I've heard anthropologists (the less gullible sort) claim that band-level societies tend to have anywhere up to 60 or 100 people. In these societies, power is rarely inherited—you get the respect that you earn. (This is what the RP folks around here would call "AMOG", basically.) One anthropologist told me that these informal …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/16 08:05 PM
1

Thanks! Other than the The Evolutionary Psychology Handbook, are there any papers that you would recommend? I'm particularly interested in ones that (1) show results you'd consider particularly interesting, and that (2) you'd consider to be scientifically solid. As an outsider to the field, every time I grab a PDF and start reading, I wind up cringing at stuff that would fail peer review in a regular biology paper. But that doesn't prove much, beyond the fact that a randomly-selected evo psych p…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/16 07:04 PM
2

I don't believe in studies Studies really aren't some special, magical thing. They're just some notes written up by somebody—somebody who has received a lot of training, sure, and who somehow got a couple of other anonymous people in their field to say, "Sure, this looks good enough to publish." But really, it's just a document saying, "I did this, I measured it like that, and he's what I found." The fun part is reading the study and deciding whether or not you believe it. Here are some typical …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/16 12:20 PM
1

The people who call Evo-Psych "not science" hang onto every word published by social psychologists Of course, it's entirely possible that both evo-psych and social psych are total jokes, and many results in both fields are garbage. From Wikipedia: Replication failures are not unique to psychology and are found in all fields of science.[12] However, several factors have combined to put psychology at the center of controversy. Much of the focus has been on the area of social psychology, although o…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/16 11:29 AM
2

There are lots of Aspies with confidence, self respect, and no friends. One common solution is to make friends with other people on the spectrum, or with geeks who have a very high tolerance for non-standard behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/16 10:19 PM
1

No, the linked guy is not generally attractive to the average woman, because he's (a) a gay stereotype and (b) too damn big. Specifically, he's in the stage that Don called "Freak Beast." The girls you used to bang are no longer attracted to you, and you're no longer attracted to them. You're now attracted to weird centaur-looking women… You stopped lifting for chicks a long time ago, because the only people who are really going to care about your veins, and your cuts, and how swole your rear de…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/16 07:10 PM
1

Don't forget Angel. Tall, dark, handsome, square-jawed, a predator cursed with a soul and conscience. I like Angel. He's your classic (modern) romance hero: looks like a bad boy, but he's secretly decent at heart. And he eventually gets replaced by Spike, who's a straight-up bad boy and monster, albeit a witty one.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/16 04:30 PM
1

So many men think average women are fatter than they actually are.. Lol. That's the problem when I see men complaining about "too fat" women. This could certainly be true for some guys. On the other hand, female obesity in the US is now up to 40%, counting women with a BMI of 30 or more (and 35% of men). BMI 30 is already pretty heavy, and 10% of US women now have BMI 40 or greater. So yes, the average American woman is pretty fat (and so is the average American man). We're looking at a generati…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/16 03:24 PM
3

Non-ironic "trigger" warning: If you're in danger of actually killing yourself because you don't eat, this message will not be good for your mental health. I don't get this strict emphasis on weight. This is a moot point for me, because I'm long married to somebody who stays in good physical shape, and who would prefer the same from me. I've gotten out of and back into shape a couple of times over the years, but I've realized that I can't afford to do that any more. I have a choice. Either I con…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/16 03:05 PM
2

For years I assumed he had no romantic interest in me because he treated me like a bro. When I was younger and clueless, I did this to a couple of wonderful women who weren't being especially subtle. I still feel like a bit of a jerk about that. Still, it's better than the low social skills version, which is treating women like they're badly freaking you out because you're so uncomfortable talking to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/16 09:48 PM
8

Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive. This is the sort of thing you can only believe if you didn't have any female friends from age 15 to 25 and if you don't pay attention to media. Have you never heard women checking out a guy with a cute butt? Have you never look…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/16 07:29 PM
7

So taking a 35yr old female and 35yr old male. The former is single and working an IT job while the latter is single and working in the some company in IT earning similar wages. Do they have similar dating opportunities? I know a fair number of men and women in the IT world, though well outside of Silicon Valley (which has a surplus of men that screws up the relationship market). Dating is pretty much a non-issue, because I would say that most of the men and women in their 30s and 40s seem to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/16 03:17 PM
1

Point is I think the intent of the story a film is trying to convey is more important than going down a checklist when you're assessing its genre. Yes. Maybe it's because I do read a fair bit of action romance, but I think we're actually noticing and emphasizing different aspects of the story. That bit where Deadpool is tragically disfigured, so he hides himself from his true love and sulks like an idiot, while she is heartbroken to have lost him? This is absolutely stereotypical melodramatic ro…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/16 02:54 PM
2

Roborights will be the next big thing people will waste their time complaining about No, no, no. If we can build a robot that can truly suffer, in a morally meaningful sense, that means we can build a mind that can think and experience. And once we can build a mind, we can build version 2.0 and 3.0. And since the human brain is stuck on version 1.1, service pack 47, with a very slow upgrade cycle, this would not be good news for us. If "robot rights" is ever a real moral issue, it will rapidly b…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/16 11:12 AM
1

Haven't seen it. But from what I've heard, it sounds like maybe they built it around delibrately subverted romance tropes or something like that? If I were trying to make a Joker / Harley movie, I'd definitely build it around a standard romance plot structure while making it as deliberately fucked up as possible. A Joker / Harley romcom would be sick and wonderful. Also, it is perfectly acceptable for the male and female leads of a standard non-romcom romance to attempt to kill each other in cha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/16 01:50 AM
3

Sounds like she was a pretty nasty piece of work, and you're lucky to get rid of her. She wasn't loyal, she wasn't supportive, and she shared private business. (Also she has issues with bi guys.) Your life will be better if you learn to recognize people like this and ditch them as soon as possible. In a similar circumstance, I would go find a copy of The Offspring's "She's Got Issues (and they're of the emotional kind)" and play it while thinking unkind thoughts about her moral character. BP cal…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/16 01:24 AM
2

A shameful admission: I might even like the Iron Druid a tiny bit more than I like Dresden. The scene where the five guys all sit around and compare stories of Thor being a total asshole is brilliantly written. On the paranormal romance side of things, you might have the best luck with something like Ilona Andrews' "Kate Daniels" series. The older Kate Daniels books are a bit like the older Dresden Files books—it took a little while for the writing style to be there. The romance is only about 20…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/16 08:23 PM
7

Warning! Romance media geeking ahead. Evidence for Deadpool being a romcom: A "meet cute" A wedding proposal Deadpool being a mopey idiot and thinking he needs to hide from Vanessa. (The obligatory relationship conflict subplot.) (spoilers) True love overcoming adversity This is all pretty stock romcom stuff. But I admit that "romcom" maybe isn't quite the correct genre. Strictly speaking, your traditional romcom usually has a much lower body count. There are exceptions, like Mr. and Mrs. Smith,…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/16 07:55 PM
2

If you haven't already, the Dresden files are absolutely incredible. Yes, the Dresden Files are a blast, and I particularly enjoyed the scene you mentioned. Going to a zombie party? Don't skimp on the zombie. When I ran out of Dresden Files books to read, I started in on other urban fantasy, and then stumbled into the sort of paranormal romance that has kickass heroines.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/16 07:45 PM
2

how is it that you were so attuned to the 'treat her like a princess' message that romcoms are selling but somehow missed the 'six pack abs are total panty droppers' message that I see peddled by literally every male-oriented publication and movie? Because "treating her like a princess" is romantic, and lots of guys are romantic saps at heart? And because it's actually pretty easy to be romantic when you're newly in love and feeling limerance? But getting six pack abs and a Captain America build…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/16 05:45 PM
6

My husband and I watch romcoms all the time. We saw Deadpool the night it came out. I endorse this classification of Deadpool! Those two were so adorkably fucked up.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/16 05:28 PM
5

are young men watching romcoms? No. I'll happily read urban fantasy romances, where shit gets blown up and ass gets kicked, and then everybody falls madly in love and has excessively graphic sex. I like a good happily ever after. It's sweet. But the guys in these novels are never doormats. Even the beta heroes could go toe-to-toe with James Bond. But actual romcom films? Some of them actually creep me out. The male leads tend to be such awkward stalkers, you know? Or everybody involved is just p…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/16 05:26 PM
1

Women in my family growing up did not read romance novels, at least not in our house. It was considered "smut" just like porn and thus not allowed. Well, I mean, it is smut. And your family was probably right to discourage the kind of romance novels that were still being published in the 70s and early 80s. Some of that stuff was clearly in the "fantasy" category, and nobody would actually want to live it any more than they'd want to experience an actual zombie invasion. To put it modern fanfic t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/16 09:16 PM
2

Being as many of us are looking for "fantasy level" responses from women, does that surprise you? Nope, not at all. Now here's a fun question: Out of all the things that you learned, how many of them are basically explained in the above passages? I mean, assuming that you could have brushed aside any preconceptions? The idea that men are supposed to have their shit together, be a bit badass when necessary, stay in shape, and not be a total doormat is pretty much omnipresent in our culture, from …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/16 04:55 PM
5

Romance novel fans and authors also do the same thing with proliferating greek letters. I've seen at least "alpha," "beta" and "gamma". The romance novel version of "alpha" would probably kick Chad's ass, but he has raging (mutual) oneitis for the heroine. The romance novel "beta" is basically a high beta unless the heroine is threatened, at which point he will also kick ass—and the heroine may also get to save him in exchange. (The movie version of Deadpool actually has a hell of a lot of roman…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/16 04:25 PM
2

Sorry, waist-to-height, not hip.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/16 02:58 AM
11

Warning: Lifting geekery ahead! Proceed with caution. 🙂 This is completely off-topic, but I never really understood why muscle mass would be considered attractive. I'm completely turned off by guys who are too muscled. When most people say "too muscled", they're thinking about a guy (1) who's on steroids and (2) who has an unnaturally low body-fat percentage. A relatively small percentage of women are into "mass monsters" like this guy. But guys like that are incredibly rare. If only 1 out of ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 11:36 PM
5

honestly, y'all are.livimg on fantasy island if you think mainstream dating advice says to not worry about being overweight. It's like nobody noticed "Men's Health" magazine or something. Hint: It's available on basically every grocery store magazine rack in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 11:14 PM
5

You just have to be nice and be the kindest person you can be. Be yourself, but make yourself into the best "you" you can be. Looks aren't all that important. Just dress well, have a good hairstyle, and don't worry too much about being overweight. ...So you just have to get to know lots of women and tailor your approaches and your interactions to the particular woman you're talking to. And if you keep doing that, eventually you'll click with one. This is a fairly accurate representation of mains…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 11:10 PM
2

the same bmi looks different depending on your genetics and body type And how much you train. It's not that hard for a taller guy who lifts seriously to have a BMI above 25 at an athletic body fat level. The upper limit is supposedly around 27 or 28 if you want any chance of abs, and if you want to do it naturally. Honestly, after 30, genetics feels like a smaller factor. The guys who remain lean and strong past that age either do manual labor or they work out. The ones who remain thin seem to e…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 08:01 PM
4

Bmi is meh. If you have a gut, you are overfat. Period. This is actually pretty close to true from a medical perspective. A waist-to-hipheight ratio above 0.5 is linked to increased mortality. You can have a small gut at that ratio—maybe pinch an inch or two—but nothing huge. Abdominal obesity is far more dangerous than fat elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 07:34 PM
1

I can't imagine why they are so alien. Maybe an age difference between us? I am 25. Could be. I'm at least half a generation older, so maybe social mores have changed since then. the same $18K a year private school as I did where there are only like 900 students Hmm. There's no really polite way to ask this, but was this an expensive prep school focused on getting as many kids as possible into Harvard and Yale, or would you describe the kids as "rich, but not necessarily talented or ambitious"? …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 05:12 PM
2

Class tiers? I can tell you about some girls I know from my wider friend circle, girls from hs and college. And yet, these stories are just completely alien to me. I knew one girl who got pregnant at my college, and she was a graduating senior in a stable LTR, and everybody still considered it pretty weird. (I mean, not in bad way; the couple clearly had their shit together, and I'm sure that at least one of them was going to be making 6 figures before 25, even with getting sidetracked by parent…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 04:11 PM
1

Sorry, mate, I can't do 5,000 calories. Even eating dirty, let alone eating clean. I'm man enough to admit that I have literally sobbed over plates of chicken breast once or twice. 😒 But that's while cutting, which requires sucky macros if I want to keep making gains. High protein, high carb, low fat diets are the worst. But I cut at 2,500 calories and I can still manage to make ottermode-style gains under those conditions. It's going to be weird when I finally get to bulk a bit. I'm sure I coul…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 02:37 PM
1

Again, more advice that I didn't ask for! I apologize if my post sounded like actual advice! It was really intended as more of a philosophical disagreement about self improvement. More on that shortly. Firstly, I have had a laparoscopic fundoplication, which limits the amount I can eat. I struggle to finish large meals, let alone consume calorie surpluses. Yup, that will do it. It's usually possible to put a lot of muscle on skinny guys with the right training program. But it also requires eatin…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 01:58 PM
2

Ok but if the message is the same, why is the reaction different? Is it just critical mass and RP has reached a volume where more of its members are stunted than actually improving? "Critical mass" destroys most subcultures. There's a nice theory of the dynamics here: One reason—among several—is that as soon as subcultures start getting really interesting, they get invaded by muggles, who ruin them. Subcultures have a predictable lifecycle, in which popularity causes death. Eventually—around 200…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 12:41 PM
2

I'm naturally on the skinny and ectomorphic side of slim, and while that's actually a good thing as you get older and other guys get fat, I don't have the idealised male physique that some women go for and it would be impossible for me to develop this just due to genetics. How did you determine this? Did it involve 6 months under the bar three times per week, and—if all else failed—drinking a gallon of whole milk per day for 6 weeks? Most skinny beanpole guys can become a lot stronger with the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/16 12:25 PM
18

I have a major bone to pick with both "sides", and it has nothing to do with the gender of the people in question. I strongly support people's right to have lots of casual sex, to be players, or to be poly. But at the same time, I think that deciding who you'll marry is probably the most personal and important decision that you'll ever make, and you have every right to take your partner's past sexual habits into account when making that decision. A lifetime marriage with kids is a huge deal, div…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/16 12:30 PM
4

Men with high N counts are bad for relationships. Such sluts. Thinking back to my university years, the high N-count guys fell into two general categories: the poly guys and the players. Some of the poly guys were (and are) great relationship material, as long as you want open relationships, endless discussion of feelings, social events with your metamours, and all the poly stuff. Trying to have a monogamous relationship with one of them would be stupid and miserable for everybody involved. The …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/16 12:54 AM
3

The culture you're describing is the 1600s Puritan times, not the 1950s. Roughly 25% of Puritan children were conceived outside of wedlock. Since most families had multiple kids, this means that more than a quarter of Puritan families had a child conceived out of wedlock. The "bundling board" was not a very effective form of birth control.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/16 05:39 PM
10

I have a number of friends, male and female, who had a highly promiscuous past. Some of them are poly, which means they have a relatively promiscuous present (within the confines of multiple relationships). I'm not jealous of them because (a) I suppose I could have done some version of that had I really wanted, and (b) I know that I just don't have that attitude towards sex. But since I wanted a long-term, monogamous relationship, I was never going to date or marry somebody who had made a habit …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/16 11:28 AM
3

Don't forget religion plays a role here as well in the WC. I saw a lot of "heathenry" for sure, but those of us that were poor but in strict religious families did NOT participate. In fact, to be honest, religion was a primary way we were "kept away" from it all, by the implication that the poor folks banging like bunnies were going to hell essentially. If you replace "going to hell" with "going to be a (gasp) failure in life", you get the UMC version of this. Even a 13-year-old member of the UM…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/16 01:28 PM
2

It's not precisely an attack. It's about 40% sheer incomprehension and 40% sick curiosity. (The other 20% is me succumbing to the Just World hypothesis.) In my entire life, I've only heard second-hand rumors of a couple people who were that horrible. Is there any way to predict or identify them? Is there some kind of geographic or social distribution? Or do certain male personalities just call out to these women?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/16 10:11 PM
1

Good grief, who the fuck tells their boyfriend he's small and then brags about how much bigger all her other partners were? Where do TRPers find these women? And yes, he's right to dump her.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/16 09:55 PM
1

I've never read anything by Sparks, because I only read romance novels with explosions and ass-kicking, as a general rule. But his characters look more like movie romance heros, who are a very different breed. I'd describe a typical romance novel hero as an alpha with oneitis, or at very least the sort of sweet "beta" guy who can still win a fight when the odds are three to one against him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/16 09:22 PM
2

Thank you for your clarification! Yes, I misunderstood your question completely. Sorry about that. I absolutely agree that if a relationship isn't working, and if you can't sort it out with some good will and adult communication, then "Next" is an infinitely better response than desperately begging your partner to treat you decently. It takes two willing participants to fix a relationship. I sometimes get the opposite impression browsing through your "ask" sub-reddit, because damn, even by BP st…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/16 08:57 PM
4

"Don't be so thirsty you put up with horrible people" is a nice summary of TRP. Why do you think that mentality is anything but ubiquitous on the sub? Charitably? Probably for the same reason that there are a lot of alcoholics at AA meetings. If you give advice, you'll tend to attract people who are desperately in need of help. I disagree with plenty of RP advice, and I can't stand the misogyny. But they're trying to help chronic doormats, people-pleasers, guys who totally fucked up at vetting, …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/16 07:03 PM
5

A lot of Blue men are naturals, or were really lucky, or never had any bad sexual or relational experiences. Things worked out great for them, so WTF are all these Red men complaining about because there are no problems in the SMP whatsoever. All is well! I had some relationships which worked well for a while, and then they didn't. So I got out, and each time, I found somebody better soon enough. The lesson I took from this was to know my boundaries, to vet better, and know when things were beyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/16 04:49 PM
8

Abundance mentality is well and good. But sooner or later you realise that you will have much more options when you become more attractive and don't commit too soon, but that doesn't mean that there's an actual abundance of great potential partners out there. I agree that there are some delusional people out there who are holding out for somebody far above their league. The overweight, unwashed guy who's bitter about not getting a smoking hot gamer girl; the plain-looking single mom who makes a …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/16 02:35 PM
17

"he/she should look for a better partner", when in reality "try to make it work despite the problems" would be better advice, because finding somebody better might not be easy. I think people spend way too much time trying to save relationships that are beyond all hope. If you look at r/relationships or r/deadbedrooms, you can find an endless number of men and women saying things like "She hasn't slept with me in 5 years and she treats me with contempt" or "He sulks when I watch my favorite TV s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/16 01:28 PM
3

Yeah, I'm trying to avoid posting too many spoilers, but I'm up-to-date on the series, and impatiently awaiting the next book, as usual. The latest book was just hilarious for the family baggage alone. Oh, man, Roland is so much fun. My favorite quote: My father knew he was a bastard. He was the venomous serpent in a bed of roses. Apparently, he didn't just acknowledge that fact, he beat people over the head with it. All that was missing was a neon sign that read EVIL AND CONFLICTED ABOUT IT wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 06:05 PM
1

Gaston is a stereotypical alpha, yes. But the Beast is a bit more complicated. He's nice at heart, he mopes around, and he dislikes violence. And yet, he's twice Gaston's size, he has claws and fangs, and when it comes down to it, Gaston doesn't stand a chance in an actual fight once the Beast gets angry. Also, Gaston is a joke and the Beast is the hero of the romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 05:13 PM
3

In that, Curran is probably the happy mix of alpha and beta. Curran might be a "happy mix" of alpha and beta, but let's be honest: He's ridiculously alpha. I mean, he's annoyingly arrogant, he's a giant hunk of unstoppable muscle, he rules a pack of 1,500 shapeshifters, and he transforms into an 8-foot-tall prehistoric nightmare. On the "beta" side of the equation, we have: He's genuinely pretty sweet with Kate when he's not acting like an arrogant ass. He truly gives a shit about the people he …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 04:42 PM
6

For the alpha-est alphas who ever alpha-ed, you really need to read romance novels. If you look around, you can find some pretty crazy examples. (There are also plenty of "beta" romance novels, but there's a whole other discussion. Your typical romance "beta" hero would still win a bar fight.) I'm slowly working on a nice, high-effort post with plenty of examples, but check out this example from Ilona Andrews Burn for Me, where the heroine first sees the anti-hero "Mad Rogan" in person: A dark-h…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 03:26 PM
3

I can go out to a grocery store and for pennies purchase food more otherworldly delicious than anything a powerful ancient King could ever dream of eating For me, it all depends on why the food was engineered. Was it engineered to make me eat as much as possible, even if I don't necessarily enjoy it that much, and then go back and buy more? If so, they can fuck right off. Or was the food engineered to allow me to consume large amounts of delicious lean protein and meet my training goals? If so, …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 12:09 PM
2

It's definitely not as easy as some people make it out to be. Losing weight and keeping it off is simple but not easy: You just need to permanently change your relationship with food. If you ever revert to your old relationship with food, you'll revert to your old body, because what else would you expect? In my case, I can be fat and die young, or I can pay attention to what I eat, put down my fork when I'm done, and be any weight I want. If I choose the latter and I lift three days a week, then…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 11:43 AM
3

Well, the good thing about McDonalds is that one cheeseburger isn't going to wreck you, not even if you get the value fries and a milk. Most of the national food chains have something edible with a reasonable portion size and tolerable macros. But if you walk through the door of Applebees or Olive Garden, you're totally fucked. There are 1,800-calorie cheeseburger plates, 900-calorie appetizers and desserts, and 800-calorie shakes. For comparison, a Five Guys two-patty cheeseburger is still only…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 01:47 AM
6

Please, I limit myself to old-school bodybuilder food hysteria. I'll eat all kinds of horrifying shit to get my protein.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 01:24 AM
7

The "natty limit" is how big you can get with years of dedicated, consistent training. For a 6' male at 12% body fat (abs on most people but not seriously ripped), the natty limit is around 200 pounds. Anybody bigger than that is probably on performance enhancing drugs, or has incredible genetics. Anybody who reaches that size rapidly (as happens with many Hollywood training programs) is also probably on drugs. It's pretty common.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 12:59 AM
3

You can't possibly reach that by eating normal meals. The thought of eating 3,770 calories of broccoli and bodybuilder chicken makes me want to sob into my dinner plate. That kind of abuse should be banned under the Geneva Convention.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 12:38 AM
16

i have trouble blaming it on food. poor peopel ate a lot of macaroni and cheese, spaghetti and hamburger helper, and crappy breakfast cereal, meat was way more expensive, they still werent fat. I think most people seriously underestimate how much engineering effort has gone into junk food since the 80s. The Extraordinary Science of Addictive Junk Food Stung by the rejection, Cadbury Schweppes in 2004 turned to a food-industry legend named Howard Moskowitz. Moskowitz, who studied mathematics and …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/16 12:31 AM
6

And I think that most of us underestimate how many "normal" guys are juicing. I'm pretty confident that at least a couple of the impressive lifters at my gym aren't on anything. (Creatine and BCAAs don't count; you get those in meat!) I mean, they could be lying, but I've spoken with them about this, and they both think steroids are a pretty stupid choice. They're both below the natty limit, and I think they're at the gym at least 5 days a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/16 11:55 PM
3

It's like there's almost no point unless you buy all organic and non hormone infused foods. I make no particular effort to avoid GMO foods or meat raised with hormones, but I was still able to lose over 50 pounds. So there's hope! All you really need to do is eat less. In my case, that means doing IIFYM, because getting the right macronutrient breakdown helps with gainz and recovery from lifting. But for non lifters, all you really need is CICO and accurate measuring. But a lot of heavily proces…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/16 11:40 PM
9

I know a couple of natty guys (no steroids) who are respectably big, but they pretty much live in the gym. Not every fitness model is injecting drugs. But a lot are, definitely.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/16 11:20 PM
3

about how men are intimidated by a woman with a biochemistry degree. The hell? Maybe it's just that I'm too egotistical to be intimidated, but I think women with science degrees are hot. They're generally smart, they have enough self discipline to stick with a long-term goal, and they make for interesting conversationalists.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/16 08:22 PM
1

The difference between fit and thin is pretty clear to anybody who lifts seriously and spends time looking in gym mirrors. After about 25, fat tends to get lumpy and saggy, whereas muscle looks good as long as you can keep it and haven't totally destroyed your skin. "Skinny fat" only looks reasonable in the young.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/16 07:31 PM
2

Is it? It's certainly one of the things that good lifting coaches look for when middle aged guys are making zero progress at the gym. And steroids are not known for being subtle drugs, in terms of male pattern muscle distribution.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/16 07:18 PM
0

Oh, so your talking about an i don't give a fuck attitude, that makes sense. Yeah, what I was trying to explain is related to what you guys like to call "outcome independence", I think. Flirting with somebody or asking them out usually isn't especially obnoxious if you're fun about it and if you're not all wrapped up in the outcome. (Assuming vaguely appropriate circumstances.) Where a lot of shy, basically nice geek guys go wrong is (a) not showing any interest at all, or (b) getting way too em…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/16 02:17 PM
9

Look, as a parent, I agree that having kids puts an incredible strain on a relationship. It's a multi-year slog of sleepless nights, horrible diapers, and tiny people who scream excessively. The work never ends. And yes, plenty of husbands need step up more. But eventually the kids learn to talk, learn to go potty on their own, and go to school. At that point, you still need to spend another 15 years working with your fellow parent to get the kids through college. With luck, you both eventually …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/16 04:16 AM
0

I recall from your other posts that you got put through the wringer by some remarkably awful people. I'd be traumatized by that shit, too, and I'm approximately neurotypical and no more given to social anxiety than the next person. I think you may need to step back from your one awful data point and try to assess your situation as factually as possible. (Details snipped.) So at the end of the day, there's a 90% chance it comes down to either social skills, or hanging out with the wrong people. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/16 01:51 AM
0

I guess my goal in life in general is to be as successful as possible, get money and bitches while following my passion. A word of caution about that "money and bitches" joke. You're a romantically inexperienced geek guy working in a technical field, with largely male hobbies, and you've indicated that you might be somewhere adjacent to the autism spectrum. I've known plenty of guys like you, including some who later wound up juggling multiple friends-with-benefits or who got really into BDSM. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/16 08:57 PM
0

Most women will find this weak and passive. "All you've got to do is ask" was poor phrasing on my part. I'm not really talking about verbal communication here, but about body language. The mistake that a lot of anxious, inexperienced guys with weak social skills make is that they're terrified of asking. They figure that asking will expose them to crushing rejection and public humiliation. So instead, they're scrupulously careful to never indicate any sexual interest in a woman. Instead, they jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/16 08:26 PM
1

You'd probably really enjoy the essay "Mormons among the gentiles", which argues if you compare UMC liberals to various red-state subcultures, they actually have deeper cultural links to the Mormons than they do to southern evangelical types. Your analysis of books like The Ethical Slut is dead-on, as far as I can tell. UMC people can be convinced to, say, practice poly or BDSM, but they're deeply uncomfortable until somebody dresses it up in an tidy ethical framework and everyone agrees on the …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/16 08:09 PM
2

Go to gym at least 3+ a week' What are your goals at the gym? Are you trying to maintain a basic level of physical fitness? Are you deliberately trying to turn your body into something that makes women drool? There's a lot of reasons to go to the gym, but you'll get better results if you know what your goals are, and pursue them correctly. Throughout the years I've been diagnosed with depression, social anxiety, general anxiety and similar stuff. I feel like psychologists or psychiatrists usuall…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/16 07:06 PM
2

In fact, if you look back in history of every declining civilization, which hasn't been destroyed by one cataclysmic war, or act of nature, has seen elements of liberation of female sexuality and destruction of traditional marriage as a part of the decline. Happened to the Romans, the Egyptians [citation needed] OK, no citation is needed for the Romans—I agree they were depraved. (The old Roman joke impudicitia in ingenuo crimen est, in servo necessitas, in liberto officium should offend both co…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/16 03:30 PM
2

This is a slap to the face to the decades of hard work RN's have put into being viewed as professionals, because it reduces us to customer service slaves. Simply put, the main reason people are in the hospital is because of their poor lifestyle choices, and the only way to make them "happy" is to indulge choices that are often literally lethal to their health. Wow, just when I think I couldn't get any more cynical. But of course this makes sense. r/fatlogic is full of stories about doctors being…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/16 03:06 PM
1

Correct, once a week is not a dead bedroom. Once a week could go either way, I feel. Once a week with genuine enthusiasm and good will? Certainly not ideal for most people, but definitely not a dead bedroom. Once a week with a list of ever-changing excuses and postponements? It might not be dead, but it's on life support.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/16 11:27 PM
11

Given that most people marry for "love" these days, it's a safe assumption that more people prioritize sex -- women and men. This is almost certainly true for newlyweds. According to an NSSHB survey, 66.5% of married men between the ages of 18 and 24 have sex at least twice a week (and 20% are managing 4 or more times per week). Now let's assume the married couple has a couple of kids. For the first couple of years, this basically involves sleep deprivation and an endless amount of work, so most…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/16 10:10 PM
1

Interestingly, the male leads in romance novels do tend to be fairly "alpha". And they virtually always have instant mutual chemistry at first sight. However, the typical romance novel will delay sex to 60 or 70% of the way through the book. So the author needs to invent lots of plausible reasons why two people who are really into each other should hold off for two thirds of a book. Doing this in an entertaining fashion is where writers show their skill.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/16 12:33 AM
1

I know that women have been rejected, because I've rejected some of them. Several examples: When I was in high school, there was a young woman from another school who kept writing me letters and calling me. I wasn't interested, and I had a hard time figuring out how to let her down gently. When I was in college, I turned down a one-night stand with a friend. I was quite fond of her, but I knew a relationship was totally impossible, and I'm not really into ONSs. I've turned down partners, but gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/16 06:15 PM
1

Trump got elected for a TON of different reasons. I find it amusing that many on the left can't see that and instead assume almost half the country (and almost half of women!) are misogynistic and sexist. As usual, one of the things to understand about middle- and upper-middle-class liberals is that at some deep emotional level, they have far more in common with tradcons than they do with the noisier parts of the populist right wing. Once they heard that "grab them by the pussy" business, they c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/16 04:40 PM
2

Actually, it wasn't fully "free" before the ACA. If it was, I'd be able to buy health insurance from any company offering it. To precise, any company offering health insurance to you. And that's the tricky bit. A truly free health insurance market would work like the life insurance market. You and your family would have to go in for a physical, and you'd be assigned a rate. Members of my family would generally be Preferred Plus or Preferred, because we're at a healthy weight, we're young, we hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/16 05:10 PM
1

It's probably a somewhat slow process of fixing one problem at a time. For example, if you suffer from social anxiety disorder or you've had really traumatising social experiences, figure out what treatments exist to help minimize those problems. (Does CBT work for anxiety?) If you have a shitty group of friends, either make new friends or move. If your social skills are weak, look into ways to improve them. Just keep knocking one item off the list at a time, and don't be afraid to get competent…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/16 12:39 AM
5

I suspect that being friendless screws people up far worse than never having romantic relationships. I know several relatively normal people who seem to be single by choice, and they're no stranger than the average human being. It's also important not to confuse cause and effect. It's possible that some perpetually single people become weird because they're single. But it's also possible that they remain single because they were always weird. If this is the case, then remaining single probably w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/16 12:36 AM
1

He was completely clueless and told me he had no idea this was going to happen, so he did not bring a condom (gee). OK, wow, that whole story is just so perfectly typical for a shy geek guy without much relationship experience. He didn't believe you were really interested until the clothes were off. It sounds like he's happy but a teeny bit blindsided by his happiness. He might move a bit slowly for a few more dates, because the whole idea is still a bit new to him. because it's 'disrespectful' …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/16 12:10 AM
10

One of the nasty surprises of aging is discovering that your youth was protecting you against your bad habits. Lots of people, male and female, are pretty hot at 21, thanks to youth and good genetics. You may be able to drink or smoke or overeat or never exercise, and still look halfway decent. But as the years pass, your decisions shape your body. You put on 20 (or 100) pounds. You get out of shape. Your looks begin to depend more and more on your grooming. And personal habits that were once cu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/16 03:39 PM
16

When I'm feeling like a smartass, I like to argue that Deadpool is pretty much a classic action romance novel, and that Deadpool acts suspiciously like a beta romance hero (which is a different definition of "beta", admittedly, one which is compatible with the occasional decapitation for a good cause). Also, these Rollo posts on PPD are beginning to sound more and more like Trotskyist tracts discussing the true nature of Communism—they're so wrapped up in their own internal jargon and mental mod…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/16 05:55 PM
14

Speaking as a married 40-something guy, I run into lots of smart, fit, well-adjusted women who have their lives together and who are great catches. They're virtually all married. I also know one divorced mother who has her shit together, and she's in an LTR. I think guys in their mid-20s who want to get married should be actively socializing and dating, especially if they ever want to have kids. A lot of the appealing people who are good at LTRs go off the market young and never come back. I'm s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/16 01:34 PM
4

My personal experience is that women who have been attracted to me were attracted to me very quickly, it was obvious that they were attracted to me, and I did very little. My personal experience was similar. During college, there was a period where I was overweight (upper 20s BMI) and a period where I had my shit together (thinner, better dressed, etc.). When I was overweight and out of shape, I had a couple of LTRs with gaps between, with the rare offer of something casual (which I turned down)…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/16 10:21 AM
2

6'2 or taller is a lie. Also, it's not like 6'1" or 6'2" is some magic advantage that makes women seek you out, or I would have had a lot more dates in high school. By college it did help me occasionally, but it still wasn't a magic advantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/16 05:23 PM
3

They may not be very muscular, but I can guarantee you that every single one of of these lifts. Or they're young and they do sports. A lot of sports training is a poor way to build muscle, but it will keep you lean and give you enough of a boost to reach those levels.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/16 05:09 PM
1

Should young, chronically people-pleasing boys really read feminist books aimed at abused 30-something women? No, but not sure where you're going with this. I'm thinking of cases like Scott Aaronson's comment 171, where he said: (sigh) Here’s the thing: I spent my formative years—basically, from the age of 12 until my mid-20s—feeling not “entitled,” not “privileged,” but terrified. I was terrified that one of my female classmates would somehow find out that I sexually desired her, and that the i…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/16 04:56 PM
2

Surely helped in my case. I mean, if I had to imagine a guy who'd get the greatest benefit and least harm out of all that over-the-top advice, he'd be (a) reasonably good looking and successful in the past, (b) in a bit of rough spot due to out-of-control pedestalization, and (c) decent enough to ignore the worst parts in favor of his own moral compass. But how would you suggest the 'sphere properly "filter" for audience? The bigger and more public your audience, the more you need to be careful …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/16 03:51 PM
4

So? Even if everything in your OP is true, it still means that RP men are finally "getting it", right? Sure, many of them are pissed off about it, because they are JUST NOW REALIZING they've wasted years of their lives (in some cases decades) operating under a ton of false ideas about mating and dating. OK, I do pick on the red pill sometimes, because the background level of hating on women can be just ridiculous and some of the "anger phase" types can be so whiny and delusional about women. (I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/16 02:35 PM
5

talk to women A lot of guys somehow overlook this step, and wonder why they can't get dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/16 01:38 PM
2

Just try to squat one and half times your body weight two or three times a week without getting a solid ass. Ain't nobody lifting a couple of plates in the squat rack without some decent glutes, male or female.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/16 11:55 AM
3

Based on so many posts on PPD people make it seem like 75% of women are attracted to gymbros, but I'd argue it's actually 25%. When people say "gymbro", they imagine this. But honestly, even this look required substantial gym time for Brad Pitt, and he's Brad Pitt. I dislike telling guys, "Don't be a gym bro," because many of them will hear that as, "Don't go to the gym." And many guys would look hotter with the occasional bit of gym time, even if they're just looking for ottermode.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/16 11:48 AM
1

He's a total effeminate cutie. I'm far too old and unhip to know who Pete Wentz is, so I did an image search. This is basically ottermode with eyeliner and tattoos. It's a cute look on him, and I'm sure it worked. But it's a deliberate mix of masculine and feminine elements. This is basically straight up frat bro. Also not badly done. If I wanted either look, I'd have to work for it. Some guys who are 18–21 with decent genetics could have look (1) if they applied a bit of fashion sense. But many…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/16 11:25 AM
7

I really don't understand this particular version of the red pill. I mean, I know you all have this weird... thing about "Chad," and it can be pretty hilarious. But above, it's like you've preemptively declared defeat in sheer awe of his prowess. Where's the determination to out-Chad Chad? Why are you not taking out your frustration in the gym?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/16 07:42 PM
1

Of course at a certain point you actually starve but your body often burns muscle instead. Your body will generally lose muscle mass under three conditions: If you're losing weight due to a significant calorie deficit below your TDEE, and if you're not eating enough protein, then your body will catabolize some skeletal muscle to maintain protein levels. You can significantly reduce this effect by eating at least 0.5g of protein per pound of body mass per day. If you're losing weight and not doin…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/16 01:07 PM
1

More so if you look at the image of Brad's body they use here its similar to that of Craig's in that nether are ripped with six packs and all. If you look at Craig and Pitt with a lifter's or bodybuilder's eyes, Craig is actually a fair bit bigger than Pitt, and his body fat percentage is higher. This probably is not obvious to people who don't spend hours staring at themselves in gym mirrors, though. :-D But more if you will tone (for lack of better word). I "toned" my arms this year. What this…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/16 11:32 AM
4

How would you deal with your partner if he or she started packing pounds every month and it became very visible? I'd actually be extremely concerned, because it would represent a sudden and drastic change in behavior. My wife's weight hasn't changed by 2 pounds in 10 years (outside of pregnancy), and she is bothered by those two pounds. (I'm not.) If she suddenly started gaining a pound a month, I'd worry that something was really wrong! How long would you wait to tell them? How would you tell t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/16 10:40 AM
13

If I remember the stats correctly, your best ways to avoid divorce are to wait until your mid to late 20s to marry, have a college degree, marry somebody with a college degree, and (weirdly) to live in place like Massachusetts, which is both politcally liberal and culturally Catholic. Avoid marrying an Evangelical Christian from the Bible belt at age 20; the divorce rate goes way up. You should also look at John Gottman's research on marital fighting. If you do most of these things, the divorce …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/16 10:10 AM
1

I wonder how many of the men posting in this thread who consider it an immediate dealbreaker feel about female strippers. In the context of a bachelor party or a "guys night out"? I suspect I'd actually loathe it, even if I were single. (I can't stand large rock concerts, crowded bars or frat parties, either, so it's not a huge stretch. I have weirdly specific tastes in partying—tobacco-free, amusing conversations, no sloppy drunks, and I leave before the orgy starts.) But I'm in a relationship.…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 09:43 PM
3

…the groom to get the traditional lap dance… Eww. I know, I'm sure that works for some couples and some groups of friends. But if a friend offered to buy me a lap dance before my wedding, he would have been an ex-friend. I would not in a million years expect my wife to be the "cool girl" and pretend that she was OK with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 09:19 PM
3

So if it's a really core part of your sexual values that people shouldn't see a stripper In my case, my objection isn't precisely about the stripper. If I were going to be on the west coast with my wife, and she said, "Hey, do you want to go see Zumanity in Vegas together?", then I'd happily go buy some tickets. But it wouldn't be any fun without her. A better version of my objection would be, "I have a Thing against strippers at bachelor(ette) parties." A bachelor(ette) party is a specific cult…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 08:57 PM
19

Well, I'm long-married, so I can only answer this as a hypothetical. So men of PPD, I ask you, if you fiancee, or a hypothetical fiancee wanted to have a bachelorette party with a male stripper, how would you feel? She has every right to have a bachelorette party with a male stripper. And I have every right not to get married to her. Just to be fair, I would be fucking grossed out if somebody tried to throw me a bachelor party with a female stripper, and I'd definitely end friendships over it. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 06:56 PM
5

I think there's a mix of reasons why young guys end up clueless at basic romantic interactions. Some guys just can't read social cues and so they miss out on subtext. Other guys could read social cues if they made an effort, but they're too busy with academics, hobbies, or whatever, to give social cues sufficient attention. I've known several smart kids from educated, professional families who attended mostly working-class high schools. These kids often sense that social success in high school w…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 06:34 PM
1

I need to invest a little money in some gear I can setup in my office to start exercising to work off specific areas of flab now that my overall form is smaller. Let me save you some effort and disappointment: You can't "work off specific areas of flab." You have several big knobs you can turn: Overall weight. You control this by eating either a calorie surplus or a calorie deficit. Controlling your overall weight in the gym is a stupid newbie mistake. I need to run a mile to burn a single Oreo,…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 03:37 PM
2

Oh, for crying out loud, ignore the TRPers. You don't want to marry a guy who tries to "spin plates" and who proclaims marriage is a terrible deal. If you marry a player, you can't blame anybody but yourself if he remains a player. The secrets to aging well as a woman are fairly simple: Avoid sun damage, keep the fat (mostly) off, maintain enough musculature to stay at least somewhat "toned" (which really means "more muscle than fat"). I know some hot 50-something women. They look good because t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 02:43 PM
3

Congrats on the massive weight loss! That's got to feel damn good. I was sick a couple of years ago, which left me mentally and physically wiped out. So I got fat. Since recovering, I've dropped a good quarter of my body weight and put on some muscle despite the cut. I now have a BMI around 27 and body fat % in the low 20s. I'm going to get that BF% down into the teens, and then do a slow bulk with some focused arm and shoulder work. (Pecs are already coming along thanks to bench press.) Combine…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 01:37 PM
1

Nobody knows how this shit works until they spend 6 months lifting hard and watching their macros. I mean, people go around saying things like, "I just want to get toned." "Toned" is lowish body fat and a decent amount of muscle! You get there by eating a relatively large amount of protein and doing resistance training. So eat your chicken breast and lift. Maintain a calorie deficit or surplus as required. Stop spending 2 hours a day on the elliptical like an idiot or an endorphin junkie (unless…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 11:54 AM
2

I don't even know if it's an age discrepancy thing that could make him feel insecure, because he's 32 and I just turned 24, but that seems strange. The thing is, he just bought his own house, he has a good job in STEM, he is tall and slim like me, and a cute ginger, and he literally acts like a fucking virgin (I even suspect he might be one). Aww, he's doing the shy, inexperienced geek guy thing. He's probably into you, but he still can't quite believe that you're into him. And virgin or not, he…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 11:18 AM
2

So, the Brad Pitt picture again. :-) Yes, Brad Pitt is smoking hot. But that's a surprisingly impractical look in a lot of ways, and it's not going to work for a lot of guys: For the thinner versions of ottermode to look good, you have to maintain really low body fat. This might be practical if you're 19 and you have a naturally boyish physique! But if you're 30 or 40, it's extremely likely that you're going to have at least 5 extra pounds of fat unless your training and workout regime is 100% o…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/16 11:00 AM
1

The "before" picture looks like the end of a bulk cycle, and the "after" picture looks like he mostly just cut fat. He's got nearly the same musculature either way—you usually can't make significant gains in a cut if you're already his size.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/16 07:41 PM
3

Confession time: I often have dark circles under my eyes. 5 seconds and a bit of cream and they look a lot better.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/16 07:37 PM
5

have you ever shaved your legs, armpit, and arms? its a ton of work. It's a pain in the ass. I'm huge, shaving my entire body uses up a disposable razor, and then the stubble grows back in as sandpaper. And honestly, if a guy isn't slim enough and built enough to at least pull off greater ottermode, it's not going to make him look significantly hotter—some women will like it more, others will like it less, as far as I can tell. only difference is that dudes can generally abstain from shaving and…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/16 02:47 PM
27

Why is it socially acceptable for men to be so disgustingly hairy? And I don't even mean beards, I mean arms that look like they could belong to a bear. I'm not excusing the beer bellies, bad teeth or sloppy dressing, but I think your visceral disgust at the idea of male body hair makes you an outlier. There's a market for moderately hairy guys, especially if they're masculine and built. Personally, I'm not going to shave my body, because fuck that. I have sandpaper stubble, and I'd rather spend…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/16 02:27 PM
1

Heh. "Upper-middle-class progressiv[ism]" is so very bougie. Spend tax money on universal medical care? Sure, whatever. Tolerate neighbors who let their lawn grow too long? Let's not get too radical here.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/16 01:55 PM
1

Is that code for what I think it's code for? In the sense that I've heard people use it, it usually carries the implication of "wool between the ears," or possibly bad white-person hippy dreads. But now that you mention it, yeah, I could imagine people using it as code for something else. Yuck. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/16 01:09 PM
1

I don't know what RP as a collective represents. I use it as a method of self improvement, and as such to give me personally a "leg up" on everyone else. So similar, but not the same as feminism, or most "isms". Feminism is a huge complex movement. Some parts of it are terrible. But once you talk to feminists who are old enough to have real jobs—not just to young hotheaded students or to people who make a living writing clickbait—then you'll generally find that almost nobody has time for perpetu…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/16 06:22 PM
1

Honestly, large swaths of it are fucked, and I sure as hell wish I had an answer. … What you just said is how Donald Trump got the GOP nomination. "You guys are just fucked, and I don't know what to do for you, and, well, I really don't give a shit." It's curious that you so easily make the leap from "I sure as hell wish I had an answer" to "I really don't give a shit." I'm not sure if you're reading the words I wrote or if you're arguing with an imaginary blooper. I'm always happy to talk with …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/16 05:57 PM
1

And on a personal note? I'm simply done listening to any particular group looking to get a leg up on everyone else. Hmm. In your opinion, does the Red Pill consist of group of men trying to get a leg up on everyone else, or does it not? 😉 When dealing with an ideological group, I don't think you can just take every single demand ever made by anybody in the group as a new moral obligation that you must obey. For example, I sure there's some very introverted feminist out there thinks that men shou…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/16 04:27 PM
1

No idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/16 04:02 PM
1

I agree with at least two things: MRAs do make good points about sentencing disparities, poor educational outcomes for boys, Selective Service registration, and a dozen other things. The most prominent feminist I know actually agrees strongly with most of these things. Certain corners of the modern "social justice" movement can be extremely toxic. In 1976, this was called trashing when it happened inside the movement. Today's it's called a "Tumblr pile on." And certain young, impressionable men …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/16 04:01 PM
1

Great! What about the rest of the country? Honestly, large swaths of it are fucked, and I sure as hell wish I had an answer. There seem to be at least three popular answers: The conservative answer. "If we just unchain the hands of our corporate overlords and get rid of regulatory bullshit, our national moral character will improve and we'll have lots of great blue collar jobs!" This will then be followed 10 minutes later by the conservative movement splitting into open warfare between the pluto…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/16 03:31 PM
3

Ask any businessman who hires people what he thinks about degrees. If nothing else, a degree from a halfway decent school proves that you can sit down, put your nose to the grindstone, and do intellectual busywork in a satisfactory fashion for 4 years, even when you think it's bullshit. For most white collar jobs, these are essential skills. Source: Am businessman, can never completely escape bullshit busywork that needs to be done.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/16 11:24 AM
2

I'm increasingly of the opinion that 18 is no longer a solid age to consider someone an adult. The way "young adults" behave today, I'm of the mind that 25 is a better age. Interestingly, rental car companies and car insurance companies would agree with you: They charge much less for 25-year-old men then for 21 year-old-men. Similarly, if a guy in his 20s adds his girlfriend to his car insurance, his rates can drop dramatically. I've heard of over 50% reductions.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/16 11:19 AM
0

So as much as I'd like to think feminism was a positive for men and women, the simple truth is: it gave women a lot of freedom (which isn't a bad thing) but actually left men in a WORSE position than they started from. Did feminism actually leave men in worse position? Let's look at feminism where it has been most successful: College-educated, middle-to-upper class, white-ish US Americans. The men in these classes have benefited from feminism in a number of ways: It's easier to find a woman who …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/16 03:13 AM
3

In my mind, THIS is the actual goal of feminism. That seems a little unfair. Feminism is a huge political movement with massive internal disagreement. Feminists routinely and normally think that other feminists are completely full of shit. Sure, if you choose some specific nefarious-sounding goal, I'm sure you can find some feminist somewhere who believes it, or who acts to promote that goal (if all else fails, try Tumblr). But you can find a bunch of other feminists who think it's horrible. I h…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/16 07:42 PM
2

This is definitely a thing, but you just need to look under other names. Try Googling "radical feminists" and "lesbian separatism". Personally, I think that these people are as rare as MGTOW, and have as little impact on the larger society.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/16 05:24 PM
2

Like an average Joe from my town would get the time of day from a woman who is a doctor, lawyer, or even an HR manager. He isn't going to marry any woman with a degree. It just isn't gonna happen. I went to a good university. I stayed away from the hard-core frat scene and dated one person who was a sorority member, and that only on a technicality. The women I hung out in college with went into consulting and research and management, or at least wound up with STEM-adjacent jobs. Almost all of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/16 07:13 PM
2

Some women are really into bad boys. This should be obvious to anybody who pays any attention at all. RP thinks this proves some kind of huge, universal truth about women. Whereas I believe: Only a small minority of women are actually into criminals and macho assholes. They're outliers. Let's say that they're more common than people who have sex in fur suits but less common than gay men. If a woman is into criminals and macho assholes, that's a giant red flag, and you want to stay as far away fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/16 08:46 PM
1

Those 3 exercises only 3 times per week? I will definitely read into it. For a good overview of introductory powerlifting, the StrongLifts 5x5 website is really quite good, and it's free, with videos. They explain what your weekly workouts will look like and they provide videos showing how to do the lifts. They also have a special app just for their specific workout program, which keeps things simple. (The Progression app is still better if you need to do a more specialized program, which you mi…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/16 02:19 PM
1

Powerlifting is high weight 5x5 right? Powerlifting focuses on three (mostly) full-body lifts: the squat, the deadlift and the bench press. Most training programs also use the standing overhead press to balance out the bench press and ensure more even shoulder muscle development. (Sometimes you'll add standing rows or some chin ups to help with your biceps.) Because powerlifting uses big, full-body lifts, it tends to make you strong, especially in the thighs, butt, core and chest. It won't neces…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/16 12:55 PM
12

Weight certainly makes a difference for men. Source: I've been fat, and I've been lean. When I'm lean, women are generally happy to chat with me. When I've been fat, they're merely polite. The difference is pretty noticeable. I think this is just ordinary human nature, and I know that guys do exactly the same thing with women. Happily, pessimistic New York Times stories and popular opinion not withstanding, weight is entirely controllable if you know what you're doing and you're willing to make …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/16 11:48 AM
1

I am just learning about cutting, calorie deficit and muscle building. I'll be followed by a trainer soon, but I want to learn myself because many are air heads that spew bullshit especially when women approach them. Good! Some trainers are brilliant and some are fools. The more you know yourself, the better chance you have of choosing a good trainer. (My coach is amazing. She competes at 2/3rds my weight and lifts more than I do.) I have learned that you don't gain muscle when cutting Not stric…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/16 11:38 AM
2

Male. BMI 27.5, with body fat somewhere between 20 and 25% according to both scales and the Navy method. If I believe those numbers, when I drop to BMI 25, I'll be in the mid-teens in BF%. I have a bit of belly fat, but if I stand up straight, my pec muscles stick out further than my gut. I store fat on my stomach, on my upper thighs and glutes, on my lats, and on my inside upper arms. I'm actually pretty happy with how I look, considering that I'm over 40 with a full-time job and kids. But why …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/16 10:38 AM
1

Yeah, this isn't a good situation. She's severely depressed, she's not interested in getting good professional help, and her life is a wreck. She's not ready for any kind of romantic relationship, and she's asking her friends to take the place of professional treatment. This is particularly bad in your case because there's a thing between you, and she has a boyfriend. If you want to be a friend, your job is to repeat, "You're not well, and these problems are above my pay grade. You need treatmen…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/16 02:32 PM
5

Personal attacks are against the rules here. My remarks were directed at the deleted posters. The were people on this thread saying that they dreamed of imitating Elliot Rodgers and that they genuinely thought he was a martyr. When I say "Get help now", I don't mean it as a personal attack, I mean, "Get help now." If somebody is fantasizing about killing people and idolizing a spree killer, they are in need of serious psychological help.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/16 05:21 PM
4

Incels had a reputation for whining and self-pity before Elliot Rodgers. Afterwards, people starting assuming that maybe a few incels were spree-killers waiting to snap. But I don't think it was a serious worry for most people, because one mentally ill person isn't a pattern. But some of the posts that the moderators have been swiftly removing from this thread are terrifying, and they make me think that Elliot Rodgers was not an isolated nut, but a genuine representative of a real trend on "ince…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/16 03:09 PM
1

Around here, we joke that the police will arrive in time to hose your blood off the sidewalk. It's almost accurate. Oh, it's not like the police will arrive any quicker around here. They're still human, and they might have further to drive. But when they do arrive, it will be a big deal. I personally know two people who had a knife pulled on them. In both cases, the police found the perpetrators as rapidly as possible—in one case just down the block, and in the other, in a different state. So su…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/16 12:46 PM
2

If you live where Cheese does? He's the big dog. Not really, no. He's a mid-level dealer with an attitude. If I recall, his character ultimately worked for Proposition Joe, who was a pretty mellow guy. Joe didn't strut around like an asshole. A guy like Cheese is just a cog in the system, and he answers to somebody else. Maybe from street level Cheese looked like a badass, but even in his own organization, he wasn't the most dangerous. So although I can fully admit Mouzine is the "bigger" alpha,…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/16 01:21 AM
2

He was reading a newspaper, wearing a threadbare suit, lying on the most tattered couch I have ever seen in my life. It was probably the best illustration of this kind of thing I have ever seen. Perfect. And a lot of this happens at a subconscious level, or maybe almost moral level: being flashy is Not Done. I certainly don't think that these gestures are all consciously calculated. It's more that you know that certain things are just trashy and you shouldn't do them. There are also nouveau rich…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/16 12:36 AM
3

Here's another great example of signalling and countersignalling: Brother Mouzone and Cheese in The Wire. Cheese is your typical drug dealer. He has a dangerous job in a dangerous neighborhood. He's violent, he's dangerous, and he's a least a small-scale alpha male on his block. Cheese signals, very clearly, that you shouldn't mess with him. Brother Mouzone does not signal that he's dangerous. He wears an expensive suit. He has a library card. He reads The Nation while getting his shoes shined. …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/16 07:46 PM
5

Just like "be nice, be yourself" I also bought into the myth that the US of A didn't have "classes" based on the "American Dream" that you can come from poor roots and hit it rich. Sure, you can, but even then? In my experience, one of the primary functions of an elite university is to act as a finishing school for the upper middle class (or more precisely, for the "gentry" class from that article we kicked around a while back). I watched several of my college friends actually make this transiti…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/16 06:45 PM
1

And yes it's just as easy for you to get ripped as it is for women to loose weight. Hah, don't I wish. Losing weight is easy: Just count calories accurately and eat below your TDEE. All you need is discipline, MyFitnessPal and a small digital scale. Losing weight while getting "toned" is a bit harder: Eat below your TDEE, get at least twice your RDA of protein, and do enough weight lifting to get your newbie gains and keep them. This will make you look decent by modern US standards, or look aver…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/16 02:25 PM
2

But on the other hand, sex seems impossible to get when I hear people talking about it. Nah. Don't believe losers who spend all their time on Reddit. When I was in college, I hung out with a pretty geeky group. Pretty much everybody who had the slightest interest in having sex managed to do so, though some took longer than others. And the overwhelming majority of women I knew were generally decent human beings. Furthermore, most of my girlfriends over the years approached me, and all I had to do…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/16 10:04 AM
7

So if you look at this from the perspective of someone with terrible social skills who misunderstands friendly interactions, "negging" includes two very different kinds of things: Friendly teasing, intended to prove friendship by saying outrageous shit that a mere acquaintance couldn't get away with. A very ancient and slimy sales tactic, where you subtly insult your customers and challenge them to prove that they're good enough to deserve to buy your product. Both of these "work" to some extent…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/16 07:45 PM
3

I've read a couple hundred romance novels in the last few years, with a bias towards paranormal romance. They're great fun if you can avoid the crap and find the good stuff. (I also once sat through a literature course that covered the history of the genre, though honestly I can't stand a lot of the older stuff because it's too damn rapey.) A romance novel "alpha" is not what TRP would call "alpha." For one thing, a romance novel alpha always has a raging case of oneitis, and he is completely ob…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/16 07:31 PM
3

So they do like guys the are nice to them? Then why is there even this focus on being an asshole? Walk into your local bookstore. The single most popular genre of fiction of fiction is romance. Pick up some books, and look at the male leads. You'll notice some obvious patterns. A hundred years ago, it was all handsome kidnapping pirates. Today, it's brooding vampires and aggressively dominant werewolves. Romance heroes come in two basic flavors: An "alpha" romance hero is an asshole towards the …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/16 06:12 PM
3

Then why do assholes act as if they were nice in order to attract women? Because if over a hundred years of romance novels are to be believed, some percentage of women enjoy dreaming about a bad boy who's nice just for them. Admittedly, most of the smarter ones over the age of 20 know that this is mostly an amusing fantasy, and that most bad boys will eventually start being bad towards them as well. But sometimes basically nice guys will act just a bit like an asshole as a form of friendly fun. …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/16 05:36 PM
1

The national median age is 37.2, and I believe it skews somewhat older for women. The average adult woman has a BMI of 26.5, which is somewhere between chubby and heavy. And the median income for women of that age is about $40,000/year (which affects how well she can dress, etc.). Looking at census data, we can also see that 61% of women in that age bracket are married, and only 21% have never been married. So we should assume that the average woman is married, too. So if a chubby, married, 37-y…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/16 01:32 PM
1

What I mean is: I tend to be worried I'm going to accidentally hurt her just trying to wrestle. Again, realize I didn't do much of it as a child, which means I don't necessarily "know my own strength", although it has less to do with actual strength and more to do with just not knowing how to wrestle I think. American collegiate wrestling was designed for overenthusiastic teenage guys with too much testosterone and adrenaline, and as along as (1) you mostly know what you're doing, (2) you don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/16 04:42 PM
3

Petrella showed that 16 weeks of progressive dynamic exercise involving 66 human subjects failed to yield any measurable hypertrophy in 26% of subjects. Wow, sucks to be them! That would definitely suck, yes. On the other hand, the other 74% of subjects showed noticeable improvements. So maybe the best advice is to actually try for a couple months before giving up? And sometimes, it's possible to get a bit of hypertrophy even under adverse conditions. I'm in my 40s and I've been cutting for most…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/16 04:17 PM
2

25% Body fat, which is acceptable. It was weird they asked for neck instead of bust... If I understand it, the Navy method uses the neck diameter as a quick-and-dirty way to correction factor for particular swole sailors, who otherwise wreck the formula.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/16 03:51 PM
4

Very interesting, but I was saddened when I reached this paragraph: Now, given that the GSS is a survey data set, where respondents verbally answer questions posed to them by the interviewers, I cannot rule out the possibility that liberals are simply more likely to admit to having had affairs than conservatives. So they just ask people face-to-face the question, "Have you cheated?" I can't imagine anybody would lie (/s). The results would be a lot more interesting with an anonymous questionnair…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/16 11:59 AM
1

The r/StrongCurves sub-reddit has a FAQ that looks like it will point you in the right direction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/16 12:42 AM
4

The people I feel bad for are young, clueless guys with mental health problems who've never had a relationship before finding TRP. If they don't have female friends and they've never dated, then they might actually believe all the hyperbole and the anger. And that has definitely fucked some people up. See r/exredpill for some examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/16 12:36 AM
3

Free weights full split and natural obviously. Lifting for 4 months. Damn, those are good results for 4 months, assuming you weren't already most of the way there. Congrats. It's definitely good to lay the groundwork when you're in your early 20s. In my 40s I still make gains, but it's uphill.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/16 12:13 AM
1

I'm sorry to hear you're not quite getting the shape you want. :-( I've heard some good things about Strong Curves as a women's lifting routine. Barbell squats can also help a lot with your butt (not sure what the best free weight alternative is), though they'll also tend to make your thighs bigger. Source: Have bigger butt, quads than before.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/16 10:34 PM
1

but I'm not sure if that's because of some hormonal changes Could be hormonal changes. Lifting affects all kinds of stuff. I've noticed that I heal faster from minor injuries, and I think there are even studies backing this up.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/16 09:26 PM
2

Male, blue. Powerlifting with enough chinups and OHP to avoid complete T-rex mode. Mid to upper novice. I might be able to bench my body weight at a 1RM, but I haven't tried lately. Body fat is low-to-mid 20s, in a slow cut. I could cut faster but I don't want to sacrifice progress on my lifts. My wife seems to appreciate the physical changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/16 09:17 PM
6

Some all men find dependent, uneducated women more attractive than educated, independent women. Now you're just trolling. I already spend enough of my life taking to stupid people who don't have their shit together, why would I want more?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/16 06:29 PM
6

They're both professionally photographed with plenty of makeup and good lighting, and the images are too small to see any details. If the photographers know what they've doing, they can easily take off a decade under those conditions. Either could be in their 40s, if they work out and take good care of their skin. If either of them is a fitness professional with a good makeup artist and the right genetics, then it's just barely possible they could be in their early 50s. But they'd be an outlier.…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/16 03:16 AM
4

I've read that the observation "black don't crack" actually has some basis in reality, because: Something like 80% of visible aging comes from sun damage. Melanin provides significant protection against sun damage. I guess the best option for white folks is to never skip the sun cream. If you work out and eat right, you can do even better. For example, can I just say that Ernestine Shepard looks better at 76 than some people do at 20? I'd be delighted to age even half as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/16 03:03 AM
5

There's a social "immune system" that attempts to react against dangerous people. It does work fairly well against people who are dangerous, ugly and badly-connected. It works less reliabily against people who are dangerous, good-looking and well-connected. If you're in charge of keeping dangerous people out of a group, it's important to be aware of this and to pay extra attention to accusations against the popular and powerful, or you'll wind up in the middle of a PR shitstorm when you find out…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/16 09:52 PM
3

As long as at least one of you remains calm and level-headed at any given time, it's all good. :-)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/16 04:15 PM
4

Where I live? If I'm stopped on the roadside with obvious car problems, then usually within 20 minutes some friendly guy with a pickup will pull over and ask me if I need any help. Usually I'm OK; I have tools and AAA. Once the shoulder of the road collapsed, dropping my wheel into a ditch, and a guy actually got out some chains and pulled my car back up onto the road. That was a pretty big deal; you need to be careful doing stuff like that. I find that other guys are, in general, pretty helpful…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/16 01:40 PM
1

But I do think that there is an underestimated genetic component to this that is very real -- and that once you've been overweight, it's very hard to ''lose'' that weight. I suspect that for most people who've been overweight (and actually for most people who've been underweight enough to have an 8-pack at some point), they're going to have a lifelong tendency to want to overeat. I always maintained my weight effortlessly until a year where I only had access to 3 meals a day and I got ripped wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/16 12:53 PM
2

There is a lot of science that indicates that predisposition to put on weight is biological/body type is biological. I used to believe that, too, along with various bullshit like, "I'm tall so I carry the weight well" and "my blood work isn't actually in the danger zone." That kind of denial is understandable in your 20s, because 20 year olds have to really work to be unhealthy. In your 30s it begins to have more consequences, and in your 40s you start spending more time in emergency rooms with …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/16 12:05 PM
1

It depends on what kind of social circles they have access to, and how much time and effort they want to invest in mental health and self improvement. And whether or not they're badly deformed. A lot of smart autistic guys actually do pretty well in my experience. Well, at least the ones who can already manage to have some friends and a real job. For most of them, it's a matter of finding a social peer group that (a) has a reasonable gender balance and (b) has plenty of vaguely nerdy people alre…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 11:24 PM
1

Yeah, I mean, some women clearly like big, sweet guys. But the guy needs to be very careful not to slide into "people pleaser" territory, and it helps to have underlying confidence and a good sense of boundaries. I think that one of the reasons that "tall and sweet" can work is that it can combine some contradictory attributes: a sense of raw physical presence, combined with having no need to prove anything. In comparison, the boastful alpha type often seems to be overcompensating for something.…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 07:45 PM
4

Being prudish and shy and quiet is the wrong way to go, even if in the long term these qualities might have their benefits. So as a guy, one of the problems with "prudish, shy and quiet" is that when you do talk to people like that, it sometimes stresses them out or they panic. This is because they don't know what to do. But it makes the guy feel really creepy and unwelcome, so he wishes her a nice day and he goes away. Whereas your classic manic pixie dream girl is obviously just delighted to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 05:33 PM
2

I'm over 6', and I'm not sure that it's a huge advantage. I mean, it's hard to tell, right? I've known tons of guys under 6' who didn't seem to be struggling any. I've even known a few genuinely short guys who were total players. Maybe it has helped a bit sometimes. I did date a 6' woman for a while, and I suppose that she would have been less interested if I were 5'9". One of my female friends did once tell me that both tall and short women liked tall guys, which seemed a bit unfair to me at th…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 05:13 PM
4

No. It's people with disabilities. Person centred language puts the PERSON first. You don't say "Disabled person, because that's putting the DISABILITY first. A person is a person first, unless they direct you to address them otherwise. Yes, a substantial group of disabled people do indeed agree with you. But that would not have stopped one of my acquaintances from cutting you off in mid-sentence and correcting you. Let me see if I can explain why they would have corrected you. According to my a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 02:20 PM
3

As someone who works with people with disabilities, I spend a lot of time pulling people up on saying things like "retard" and "spastic". I can't even remember the last time I heard "retard" or "spastic" from an adult, to be honest. Certainly not in a professional context in a coastal upper-middle class environment. Both words are at least somewhat taboo, as far as I can tell. But here I'm remembering several acquaintances who would have cut you off and interrupted you for saying what you wrote …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 01:26 PM
3

Yes. Personality has no bearing in the way people perceive you. A man who isn't an alpha is going to be perceived negatively by women regardless of how awesome his personality might be. Negatively in the sense that personality cannot make up for a lack of chad looks. Sure it can. Let me give you two examples: Guy 1. He was maybe 5'9" and chubby enough to have a round face. He had visibly non-western features in the US. He didn't lift, and even if he did, you'd never be able to see it under the b…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 12:48 PM
1

Social skills earn you power and respect. They allow you to finesse tricky group dynamics, they allow you to advertise two good-but-mutually-exclusive traits at the same time, and they allow you brush off minor challenges with humor. Humans are social animals. There are several theories claiming that our big brains are the result of an "arms race", much like the antlers of a moose or the tail of a peacock. Basically, we could be a lot a dumber than we are and still outsmart the natural world. We…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 12:19 PM
10

As u/GroovyEFS says, the examples of "easily triggered feminists" that are reported all-over right wing outrage sites are actually pretty rare, because few grown adults who have a full-time job and bills to pay want to spend time with anybody who's extremely hyper-sensitive to even the tiniest offenses. People like that tend to turn on even their own friends sooner or later, as thousands of Tumblr pile-ons demonstrate. Even the most hard-core adult activists, for better or for worse, tend to hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/16 11:54 AM
4

We were poor growing up, but we were also raised to believe that hard work would pay off. Of the kids I grew up with, most managed to improve and climb up the ladder a step or two. And now that we are having our own children, I'm seeing they are getting a rung or two higher up than us. To me, that is supposed to be how it works. ...When did we as a country go from "poor but will work hard to improve" to "poor and will sit on our ass and expect a handout forever"? I increasingly believe that ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/16 05:33 PM
3

It's more like something has gone badly wrong with their filtering mechanisms: Where are they discovering so many women who act so badly? Having discovered these women, why do they want to sleep with them? Why do they hold their partners to such low standards for personal maturity and integrity? How do they miss so many red flags? OK, sure, sex is fun. But not at the price of putting up with horrible people.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/16 09:19 PM
1

If the girl wants to be irresponsible, and someone puts a control on it. Shes an adult and you can't tell her what to do. If she is damaged from those irresponsibility, than it was the fault of everyone else, and she was a helpless victim. OK, so I totally believe that people like this exist. I've run into a few. It's sort of the female equivalent of the helpless manchild who can't adult. It's just that, as far as I can tell, the red pill approach to these people is to find more effective ways o…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/16 08:34 PM
1

This attitude though ignores the point that she could have done the alcohol and weed around respectful friends/people whom aren't violent or likely to take advantage of you. I mean, I totally understand that some college students are going to be idiots, and do things like mix booze, marijuana and Xanax. And rapists will be rapists, and some of them are pretty good at hiding it. And some people who suffer trauma will make really bad decisions because they're desperately trying to pretend nothing …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/16 06:10 PM
1

Hmm, in this case, child with lack of agency seems to work best for her. Will go with that one. Tomorrow? Strong independent who shouldn't be told what to do? Sure, why not? So fucked up people have a right to make fucked up decisions about their personal lives. It's a free country, and I can't be bothered to micromanage their lives for them. But at the same time, I have every right to associate with whomever I want. I don't hang out with guys who give women drugs and rape them in their sleep. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/16 03:09 PM
4

We are born into this world completely innocent, Speaking as a parent: Hahahahaha. Very young children will alternate at random between being really sweet and being total savages. Some of them are basically nice, but have bad moments. Others have horrible tempers just waiting to explode. They're all individuals. With proper parenting and role models, they can grow up to be kind, civilized human beings, or at least to follow the rules. But you know how school teachers assign Lord of the Flies to …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/16 12:33 PM
6

Eww. Let's assume, for the sake of discussion, that the CNN reports are reasonably accurate. Waking up drugged and bleeding to unexpected anal sex in your car and having broken crowns sure as hell sounds like rape. It scares the fuck out of me that some people can somehow rationalize this as consensual sex. Now, it's true that the woman in this story isn't going to win any awards for good judgement. If somebody gives you drugs, violates your boundaries, and gang rapes you while you're sleeping, …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/16 11:58 AM
2

So top 10%, or top 5% guys? Yeah, if you really stretch. If you got a few friends together at a bar, they'd be respected and solid guys in your friend group. But the female leads in those books have vast magical powers, they stay young for at least a century, they have dangerous and exciting adventures, and so on. So a divorced small-town sheriff who's basically an ordinary guy is really not in their league, for example. Except that he's a decent human being who gives a damn, and he's kind, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/16 05:10 PM
5

Yeah, I mean, if you have huge bulbous growths all over your body, a misshapen skull, and a badly warped skeleton, that's going to sharply limit your romantic options. If you're so hideous that they give you a private train car, or if people pay money to see you in the sideshow of a really sketchy fair, then you've got problems that can't be fixed via normal self-improvement. But that's equally true for horribly disfigured women. Advanced-stage leprosy, for example, will also discourage men pret…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/16 03:15 PM
1

From what I can tell (you're obviously quite a bit more familiar with the material you're discussing than me), non-perfect romance characters are still exceptional in some way. In general, yes. But some of this is simply that characters in any kind of light, fun book will almost be exceptional in one way or another. Fiction is supposed to be entertaining, and light fiction usually includes a large amount of wish fulfillment. If he's physically below average (Miles), he's a natural leader and a g…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/16 01:04 AM
1

It was the most bizarrely mundane thing in the world. I would love to see this actually. Let me know if you find the title.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/16 12:08 AM
1

Because the guy who made the meme was an asshole? Also, there's a difference between CICO and the far more fanatical eating styles displayed by bodybuilders. Serve 'em an omelette made with the egg yolks left in and half of them stress out. Seriously, the guy in the meme? That's a high-effort look, except maybe for 20 year old guys with amazing genetics.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/16 10:48 PM
4

I'd love to see an example of a romance novel about a 6. I'm not sure I could find you a romance novel about a completely average guy. Partly that's because I like romance novels with a bit of action, and action-novel heroes are usually well above average even if you leave the romance out of the equation. But I can come close. Try Wickedly Dangerous by Deborah Blake. It's brainless fun, but not bad. The guys in this series are just a smidgen above average: a divorced sheriff in a tiny rural town…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/16 05:00 PM
7

What do you imagine hot/erotic romance novels are for? It's easy to find romance novel heroes who are billionaire werewolves with the looks of particularly hunky Greek gods, and who mix scary badass traits with a hidden nice side and an adorable case of oneitis. On a scale of 1-10, the typical romance novel hero is a 15/10. I'm not knocking it. It's rather fun, and if you choose the right subgenre, there's plenty of hot sex scenes and more ass-kicking than a James Bond movie. Plus it's adorably …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/16 03:19 PM
6

So's the guy in the OP's meme. Well, either that or he has amazing genetics and spent years in the gym. Actually, I've been friends with natty women with builds pretty close to that female CrossFitter. Most of them spent 3 hours a day training for crew and ate like beasts. They would have needed a miserable 5- or 10-pound cut to get the definition, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/16 01:50 PM
5

You don't get a round ass by dieting and sitting on the couch, you get one from squatting your weight. Yup. For example, that scene from Entrapement with Catherine Zeta Jones almost certainly required lots of squats. In reality, though, that skinny, pretty woman who just downed that burger at lunch and played it off like its no thang went home and ran on the treadmill for 2 hours, skipping dinner. If she's using 2 hours of cardio to burn off a burger, then she's doing it wrong. Weight is 90% die…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/16 01:43 PM
3

Oh, yeah, women work even harder for muscle than men. For example, that CrossFit woman I just linked above paid for every ounce of that muscle, and she did it without the advantage of testosterone. I'm mirin', and more than a bit jealous of those delts. But: Popular standards of female beauty don't require women to look like that. Most female models carry substantially less muscle, and indeed most fashion models are downright scrawny IMO. Scrawny is easier than swole. Hot women aren't generally …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/16 01:04 PM
28

I think the reality is that if guys just want to be socially presentable, they have it much easier than women. But if they want to be genuinely hot, that usually requires very strict discipline in the gym and in the kitchen. Of course, it depends on the look a guy is going for. If he wants a thin, goth look, he probably has to do about as much work as the average good looking woman. But building and maintaining lean muscle requires hours a week in the gym, constant low-level soreness, and counti…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/16 12:02 PM
2

DNA tests after birth are not dangerous. You just need some cells—blood, saliva, whatever. It's possible to test the mother's blood for fetal DNA before birth, but it's roughly a thousand bucks. The price on all these tests will eventually become very low.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/16 05:50 PM
1

You have to be cycling many, many times, lifting very consistently, and maintain a very good diet to look anything like that. Believe me, I'm painfully aware of how much work is required for a natty lifter to just to achieve a version of ottermode that still looks halfway decent with a shirt on.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/16 04:05 PM
2

There are people on TBP sub who deny that women like muscle, deny that women ever act in certain ways, and basically just call TRP complete bullshit, free of any validity onceoever. What are your thoughts on these people? Many terrible and horrible ideologies occasionally claim true things. Take the communists, for example: They were absolutely right that capitalism in 1900 was a total shitshow and that it ground people up for profit. But they decided that the solution was to massacre the kulaks…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/16 10:55 AM
1

Joseph Merrick, 1862 to 1890.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/16 05:33 PM
2

Have you tried reading any of those romance novels? Seriously, if you like action and badass heroics followed by steamy sex scenes, there are some great romance novels out there. Pretty much every action romance hero is described as a total badass. Here's an example from the paranormal romance Bayou Moon, where the the heroine Cerise is comparing the hero William to her teenage fantasies: When she was a teenager, she used to imagine meeting a stranger. … He would be lethal and tough, so tough, h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/16 05:30 PM
10

He did seem like a pretty decent guy. But his head looked like cauliflower. Not nice cauliflower that everybody wants to buy. But cauliflower that had been infected by some disgusting plant disease, cauliflower that nobody would ever eat. I wouldn't wish his diseases on the worst person in the world. He actually did have friends, more or less, or at least people who dropped by regularly to speak with him. He was polite and grateful. The world is not always a fair place.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/16 12:02 AM
1

For example, say we have a well respected scientist in a university. He has won many awards for his research, etc. Wait, what? Have you ever actually spoken to college age women about this? Students get crushes on younger professors all the time, especially the brilliant ones. That's why universities have so many rules against it, and so many male professors keeps their doors open when meeting with students. Even lowly TAs are targets and they get some pretty stern lectures against it. Next you'…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/16 05:41 PM
3

A man who doesn't feel threathened in his sexuality doesn't care about the N-count of his partner. OK, I personally find the whole constant RP obsession with virgins and "n-counts" to be weird and creepy. So your partner had relationships before you. Big deal. But I always knew that I wanted a long term, monogamous relationship. I always turned down casual sex. I never dated somebody without being serious about them and trying to make it work. I'm a romantic and I can't stand stupid drama. And I…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/16 11:31 AM
1

I actually suspect that lifting makes a very good special interest, if you're anywhere near that part of the spectrum. With the right mix of knowledge and obsession you can control your body fat and muscle with surprising predictability. And there's an endless amount of stuff to learn if you want. Gym rats also tend to be surprisingly nice people if you work hard. I know a lot of geeks think, on some level, that trying to look hotter is superficial and it will attract the wrong sort of people. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/16 12:43 AM
1

I associate short unnaturally-colored hair with party types, actually. It leans a bit more punk and goes with nose or lip piercings and stompy boots.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/16 07:51 PM
3

I've been told I'm too big before. Oh, come on, even as a geeky blue guy I think that line's just a perfect setup. 9 times out of 10, you're supposed to laugh and admit it, and respond entertainingly. If somebody says you're too much of a good thing, it's usually just ordinary social banter. It's like a cliché out a romance novel, where the hero is always just too overwhelmingly masculine, too badass, or too good at what he does. The heroine's like, "But how can I make room for him in my tidied …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/16 07:42 PM
1

What, do you think life suddenly becomes magically awesome if you are able to military press 2.3x bodyweight? Do you know how obnoxious it is to add weight to any strict overhead press? I'm fighting for every pound. "World class" is like 1.45x body weight, according to the published standards I've seen. 2.3x would be friggin Ant Man. How could that not be awesome? Olympic male gymnasts would be inspired by your shoulders.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/16 06:54 PM
14

How many of you men here have dated nerdy and/or intellectual women, and how was the experience? In the past, I mostly dated nerdy and intellectual women, and my wife is certainly one. If I look at all the women I've ever had a serious crush on, they're all high FTO and at least top 5% in intelligence. For me, "relatively unintelligent" has always killed any physical attraction. And yet, I quickly figured out that asking out "nerdy and/or intellectual" women was a waste of time. They get hit on …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/16 02:05 PM
3

Shit, if this is how you imagine us then you won't see us coming... I still have enough faith in humanity to assume that if y'all spend so much time boasting about how "alpha" you are and how much you lift, that you can't all look like you're BMI 35+ with sideburns and acne. Nobody—male or female—can go around saying "Why are all the hot people too shallow to see my inner beauty?" without sounding ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/16 12:09 PM
2

But within our relationships, I am the Captain and she is the First Mate, and THAT is a form of subservience as well. In fact, the exact form I prefer. Fascinating. I know that works really well for some couples (/u/ozymandias271 often mentions that they prefer being the "First Officer" in their marriage). And I ascribe to the ever-popular liberal principle of "You do you", because (a) you and your wife know what works for you, (b) you're the ones who have to live with the consequences, and (c) …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/16 03:13 PM
2

Do you think he was being polite? Would he have done the same, acted the same, if I were a guy? OK, so let me use a real-life example with guys. I'm a STEMlord, but let's use a gym example for maximum testosterone. Last night, I was doing deadlifts. To do deadlifts, I needed a bar and the "platform" (which is spongy and hard to damage). I could do deadlifts without a platform, but the trainers don't like it. But another guy wanted to practice doing snatches, which definitely need to happen on th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/16 11:28 AM
1

That's why I mentioned music festivals as well. People are way more open there and social norms don't mean shit. Yeah, so it's sort of strangers walking up to you and starting a conversation: it depends on what the local social norms are. If you're walking out in the countryside and you pass a stranger on the road, then the social norms in most places say you can stop and chat about the weather. I mean, it's not like either of you have run into anybody else in the last 20 minutes. So a stranger …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/16 03:31 PM
8

According to someone who works in this field (from the link already posted), it's 80%. According to the link, it's 80% of people who are already suspected of being cheaters. The odds are presumably better for people whose spouses have never paid a PI firm to investigate them for cheating. Paternity fraud is the same way: When a guy is suspicious enough to get a DNA test, the rate of paternity fraud is something ridiculous—as high as 1 in 3 in some groups. But for guys who get their DNA checked f…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/16 03:00 PM
3

Yeah you won't see it happening all that much if you aren't part of that social circle. It's different being approached within a social circle than it is being approached by a stranger. Thinking back to my college days, if a friend of a friend hits on you like that, you probably know something about them. If somebody's got serious issues, you've probably heard something. But if you know somebody's cool, they could come on pretty strong and not ring any alarm bells. But total strangers? They're v…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/16 02:48 PM
19

That's brutal. But I'm pretty sure that if he got caught afterwards, he'd use the same shitty rationalization as most cheaters: "I don't know, it just happened." /r/relationships is full of people whose SOs cheated, and the cheaters always act like it was some sort of huge, unplanned surprise. But people have a pretty amazing ability for self-deception. So on one level, he obviously knows exactly what she's offering. On other level, he appears to be maintaining some kind of plausible deniability…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/16 02:35 PM
2

or carry their bag for them if it's too heavy. Well, shit, what do we lift all these weights for if it's not to occasionally show off by picking up heavy stuff casually? Sure, I'll take those suitcases. I know that box says "Team Lift" but it's not even a warmup weight, come on.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/16 11:55 AM
31

If you ask somebody to agree to lifetime monogamy, and if you lose all interest in sleeping with them, then don't be surprised if they think it's a terrible deal. Now, real life throws all sorts of shit at you: illness, injury, babies who keep you up all night, old age, and so on. That's part of "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health," that you agreed to in front of half the people you know. You literally signed up for that. Similarly, if you gain 200 pounds, start neglecting your p…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/16 11:56 AM
5

I am a physician, I'm in a MBA program, I speak 6 languages, I have joined many activities and hobbies in my life, I am decent looking and considered attractive by many. Yet, I never had a boyfriend. Congratulations! Those are serious accomplishments. It's true, some men care only about looks. Given a choice between a hot but ditzy 20-year-old and an intelligent, successful and fairly good-looking 25-year-old, they'll choose the 20-year-old every time. (Then some of them will claim that women ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/16 10:04 PM
3

Men just don't get turned on by success (money) and status like women do Maybe I'm a freak of nature or something, but I think my wife's multiple languages and advanced degree are pretty hot, as is the fact she manages a big team. Being able to accomplish shit and lead people is a sign of good genes, I'd imagine. This Cake song is totally hot: I want a girl who gets up early I want a girl who stays up late I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity Who uses a machete, to cut through red tape Wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/16 09:48 PM
5

Many women that are just looking for a dinner and a bang would see OP as go to guy. This is a real thing. I knew a guy who was decent looking (not a total hottie), who had a reputation for being an inventive lover, and who was clearly completely incapable of handling commitment without freaking out and running for the hills. Quite a few women used him as a safe choice for getting laid when they didn't want complications. Then he ran into a women who was 100% up front about the fact she was using…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/16 07:48 PM
2

It's great to have some self defense training, but it means very little when someone twice your size lifts you up or bear hugs you. I once got bear-hugged by a short guy who weighed upward of 300 pounds. I'm pretty sure he could have just snapped my rib cage or torn tendons off of bones. No amount of self-defense technique or fighting spirit will help much under those conditions.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/16 05:10 PM
3

How much a kick in the balls actually hurts. It's not just the pain, but also the overwhelming nausea that gets so strong that you often have to vomit. It's very clear warning message from your genes: "Hey, buddy, you damage those, and you might as well be dead as far as evolution is concerned. Let's not ever do that again, OK? Just in case you didn't get the message, how do you feel about an extra 5 minutes of wanting to puke? Yeah, there you go." Interestingly, though, kneeing a guy in the bal…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/16 04:54 PM
1

50g from whey, 30g from a protein bar. A good 140g or so from food. It'd be easier with more fat, that's for certain.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/16 04:04 AM
1

scrub GOMAD is for fourteen year old skeletons whose voice just started cracking, dude. Sloppy bulking in your 40s is just gross. Every gram of fat I save with skim milk I can blow on expensive cheese. No, seriously, how much protein do you supplement total? I'm curious about what other people here do.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/16 10:45 PM
1

Chicken and shakes, I'm sad to say. I'm doing a strict 40%/40%/20% split (protein/carbs/fat), which has done wonders for my recovery, despite decent volume and a ~500 cal deficit. (Plus some extra carbs on workout days.) But I'm over 6', so that means I'm eating over 200g of protein per day, which is constant battle. I just mixed up some whey, skim milk, PB2 and a bit of creatine, for macros of 42/22/4. I'm pretty sure this is some kind of degenerate lifestyle, but I can handle a lot higher week…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/16 09:37 PM
5

05:30 Roll out of bed and start STEM-lording for money at home. 06:30 Grab a protein bar and check my macros. Enter about half my planned food for the day into my smart phone. 07:30 Break to take the kids to school. 11:30 Start to slow down, maybe look at client emails, eat lunch. 14:30 Go to the gym and lift. 16:00 Eat another lunch. (Fuck my protein macros. No man should ever have to eat that much chicken breast in one meal, so I eat a lot of meals.) 16:30 One of: Clean up, slack off, go shopp…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/16 11:32 AM
1

Men prefer dumb women (as long as they don't constantly talk or always make dumb decisions). Speaking personally? Oh god no. Have you ever watched Idiocracy? Do you remember how painful it was every time one of those morons explained, "Brawndo. It's got what plants crave"? Could you ever possibly want to sleep with one of those people? I can't even bear to listen to them. I don't know a polite way to put it, but the average person sometimes starts to sound too much like that. And it's a total at…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/16 10:24 AM
2

There are well intentioned and polite people around, but they really aren't the majority. There's all kinds of "social freedom" but only because most people here just don't give a shit to follow any rules, even the most basic ones that make a civil society. That sounds deeply unpleasant. It's really remarkable how liberal social freedom tends to be very rule-based. Members of the BDSM community may whip each other and tie each other up, but they have their safe words and their debates about the …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/16 05:21 PM
5

Yeah I'd say that is a very significant difference. Personally? I assume everyone I don't know is a shitty person until they prove otherwise. OK, to be fair, I'm well aware that—under the wrong circumstances—the folks I refer to as "basically reasonable people" would none the less cheer for my death in a witch trial or slaughter me because I belonged to the wrong ethnic group. Milgram pretty much covered that side of human nature. It's just that I think that people are basically reasonable in th…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/16 04:36 PM
5

I'm perfectly happy to admit that some women are shitty, self destructive people. Some women are cheaters, some are looking to trade up, some are addicted to drama, and some settle for a stable boring guy that they're not attracted to. All these things can happen. One big difference between RP and BP is that RP believes that "all women are like that." Whereas BP is like "What the fuck, what an incredibly shitty person, where did she come from, get her away from me." We believe that most women ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/16 10:38 AM
2

Honestly? I think telling women to simply be more careful at drunken frat parties would be more helpful that concealed carry. Oh, I definitely agree with you. Booze, irresponsibility and guns are not a winning combination (as any number of reckless hunters could tell you). Still, there are some serial rapists out there that rely heavily on alcohol and plausible deniability, and I think it might improve their morals to occasionally run into somebody who was carrying. It's obvious that you live in…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 07:48 PM
2

For the record I and just about all of my male friends conceal carry for this exact reason. Thanks for confirming personal responsibility trumps hoping for the best. ;-) I have no problem at all with concealed carry, but I live in a place where some of my neighbors don't even have a key to their front door, and have never bothered to change the lock. The question I always ask myself about concealed carry: Are the guns protecting against a real risk of violence? Or do people just carry the guns b…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 06:44 PM
5

The problem is plenty of guys ignore her no and the chick really enjoys the sex afterwards. ...If you dint do it, some other guy will. And she'll love every second of it. In my opinion, this is feature, not a bug. Let some other guy deal with her consent issues. Louis CK has a great sketch about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 05:32 PM
5

But couldn't this also be construed as a sort of shit test? So I think it's good to divide "giving people shit" into two categories: Shit tests that are actually designed to test somebody. If you fail one of these tests, then the person giving the test thinks you're a loser. Giving people shit as a way to counter-signal friendship. The idea here is that you're saying, "We're such good friends that we can totally give each other shit and nobody will believe it for a second." As Scott Alexander wr…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 05:21 PM
2

So, 8/10? or a 7/10 and you got lucky? Hard to say. I mean, I still genuinely think my wife is smoking hot, and we're both over 40. But she accuses me of being biased. Back when I was dating, I'd say that I dated within my league, I didn't spend much time single, and consent was enthusiastic enough that I never had to put up with mind games. But it's hard for me to judge these things. I live in a deep-blue, upper-middle-class area where people take mostly care of themselves. An average-looking p…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 04:53 PM
1

Then you are clearly an alpha male. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not actually an alpha male to 90% of women. I know who the real alpha males are, and they would have been able to run up their N count much faster than I ever could. But the 10% (or whatever) of women were potentially interested in me included some people who were attractive, sane and fun to hang out with, and who were enthusiastic about sleeping with me. It also included a few who were bad news. The secret to a happy life is filter…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 04:00 PM
4

Even my mother plays games with me trying to get me to do more things for her. So here's a totally sincere warning: I've seen some people in some pretty fucked up relationships (and jobs) in my life, and when I ask them why they stay, a lot of times it boils down to, "Well, they treat me just like my parents did. So they must love me." If your parents have some fucked up habits, then it's worth taking some time in your life to get your head on straight and to redraw your boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 03:41 PM
5

It's like when you are hosting a party and some random guy comes and you ask him "what the fuck are you doing here? Go home" and if he gets defensive or hurt he has to leave, but if he says something cool he can come in. Seriously all of TRP should just hang out more with women and Chads. Get drunk and shit test each other for hours, because that's just how they have fun. You will soon realize that they are deliberately doing it. Huh. Honestly, that sounds exhausting. If you enjoy it, hey, more …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 03:33 PM
6

Sure, then you'll never get laid ever; because ALL women do this. Huh, I must be a Chad then. I never thought I was a Chad. But back when I was dating, I remember women being pretty damn clear about "yes." Or even "Now, already."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 03:24 PM
3

But see, even if we had power over it, it's the best way of testing the quality of your partner. But it works both ways: A guy who wants to test the quality of his partner can watch out for serious shit tests, and say, "Oh, look, she's making up bullshit issues just to test me." At which point it's probably safe to assume that she's far more likely to also be the kind of person who says things like, "I didn't mean to cheat! It just happened," or to be generally immature and bad at life. People w…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 03:09 PM
13

When a good many women shit-tests, it's safe to assume that most of the ones you'll come across will also shit-test. Unfortunately, I'm forced to agree that shit tests are a real thing. But: Out of the women I've dated, the level of shit-testing has ranged anywhere from virtually zero to semi-frequent. The ones who were the most frequent shit-testers usually turned out to be flaky and to struggle with monogamy. Shit-testing about sexual consent is the absolute worst. If you sleep with somebody w…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 02:35 PM
20

We have women in this very thread saying that shit-testing is normal and is actually a good way of gauging the quality of a potential partner. The fuck... Yeah, and do you find yourself suddenly overcome with an urge to date any of those women? Or do you feel an urge to stay the hell away? The first rule of negotiation is to make sure you have options. If you don't have options, then you've got to settle for a bad deal. So your first priority should be improving your options. Dress better, work …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 01:07 PM
35

If you think that a woman is saying "no" just to play mind games, and that she really wants you to ignore her "no", then you should say "Good night, ma'am," walk out the door, and lose her phone number. And probably block her on social media. Mind games are a giant red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/16 12:44 PM
7

DISCLAIMER: It's hard to answer this, since "blue pill" isn't one, single coherent philosophy. It's really a catch-all group of people who think the Red Pill is wrong or ridiculous, or who've never heard of the Red Pill. Or of people who think the Red Pill is a mix of good advice (work on being attractive, have good boundaries), bad advice (treat women like teenagers, AWALT), and posturing like a cartoon villain. So any piece of non-RP marriage advice in the world could potentially be classified…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/16 03:17 PM
2

In this post, you present your own definition of "nice guys." Now, nice guys specifically means the following: A guy who is overtly generous and kind to women, often neglecting his own needs to the sake of women. Uses niceness in an attempt to gain sexual attraction or appeal from women. Avoids directly stating his interest in women, or being charming or flirty. For the sake of clarity, let's refer to your personal definition as "Nice Guys™," to distinguish it from the ordinary English meaning o…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/16 12:05 PM
0

They may also be English-as-a-second-language speakers whose native language includes a close cognate for "oriental" that has somewhat better associations (even though it remains a weirdly Eurocentric way of diving up the map). I hear this a lot. Unless you know whether somebody is a native speaker, it's usually better to take that possibility into account when correcting them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/16 06:46 PM
1

I recall reading a blog post by a female programmer whose boyfriend was an especially talented developer. She admitted that she sometimes got turned on by reading his GitHub commits, because he was just so damn good at what he did. Just goes to show, rule 34 is real. And what somebody thinks is attractive tends to depend on what they personally find to be as impressive as hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/16 01:01 PM
2

Out of the techies I work with on a regular basis, several of them lift. I've heard one wirey (and very talented) developer use metaphors like, "Well, SCRUM is basically a dirty bulk for your program: You get lots of features quickly, but you sacrifice a lot of the other things you want, like quality." Besides, even if all you want is an otter-mode body with a bit of shoulder and bicep definition, then lifting still helps. And it's surprisingly meditative and quantifiable. I think more geeks wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/16 12:54 PM
5

She was lost already. She already had terrible self image, she already had no boundaries in put in place around her by stable adults (particularly men), she was already in a terrible state of mind that would have made her a terrible, terrible wife. Yes, if you're messed up when you start dating, you'll tend to do two things: Your individual relationships will, on average, be more messed up, because you're messed up, and you'll put up with more red flags. Because you and your relationships are me…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/16 03:05 PM
1

The Catholic writer Chesterton (early 20th century) on different kinds of love: My acceptance of the universe is not optimism, it is more like patriotism. It is a matter of primary loyalty. The world is not a lodging-house at Brighton, which we are to leave because it is miserable. It is the fortress of our family, with the flag flying on the turret, and the more miserable it is the less we should leave it. The point is not that this world is too sad to love or too glad not to love; the point is…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/16 07:01 AM
1

From the CMV post by /u/darkmoon09: There seems to be this prevailing idea being propagated by TBP that TRP strategy only works on weak and insecure women with daddy issues and other baggage...this is just not true. So "daddy issues" aren't the only kind of damage out there. Crazy and fucked up come in many different flavors. For example: But trust me, throughout the early times she called me an asshole all the time, threw stuff at, threatened to leave. Now, if a romantic partner threw shit at m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/16 07:15 AM
2

I know of three couples living up there that are putting their kids through private school simply to keep them away from the atmosphere in our local school district. This is, I think, one of the only two real powers that parents have over their children's development: Parents can set a good example, and Parents can heavily influence which kids their own kids will be around, by choosing the neighborhood and school. Notably, this list does not contain, "3. Telling their kids what to do." Insofar a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/16 05:10 AM
2

I know a lot of people just can't believe the things talked about in the 'sphere, but I've seen much of it first hand. I think far too many folks on Reddit are far removed from the common man/woman to see it. Sure, life may be peachy near the top, but there's a LOT more poor people than rich ones. People's social class and location obviously play a huge role. A lot of blue pill types here on /r/PurplePillDebate are upper-middle class, college-educated professionals with a more metropolitan backg…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/16 09:46 PM
13

OK, here are some things to look for: To learn some good ways to identify the truly scary assholes, read Becker's The Gift of Fear. He has an excellent list of red flags for stalkers and abusers, including things like "forced teaming." He comes from an abusive family and he consults for celebrities who are being stalked. Watch how they treat other people, particularly other people who are "below" them in some way: waiters, secretaries, and (in high school) unpopular kids. Sure, some guy might be…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/16 04:09 PM
0

I think I remember that post, and it sounded pretty fake too me. It was just a little too stereotypical, and there's plenty of fiction on r/relationships. That said, I certainly believe that "AFBB" stories sometimes happen in real life. People can be shitty in all sorts of ways, including settling and cheating. I think you can minimize your risk by belonging to certain social classes, and by doing a good job of vetting.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/16 04:08 AM
2

Yeah, I suppose this advice has some built-in assumptions: Enough women are interested in you that you have some good choices. Or you can at least invest in self improvement and social skills and make it to this point. If all you can find are women with issues, it's better to remain single for a while. Now, of course, just because you try to only sleep with women who'd be good LTR material doesn't mean you're not going to fuck up a few times, and need to dump somebody when you discover they have…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/16 03:59 PM
4

So you want him to stay a virgin essentially. Nope. I mean, you can lose your virginity sleeping with decent people that you actually like. If you try to avoid sleeping with people who are obviously bad LTR material, you also avoid a crap ton of drama and issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/16 02:01 PM
3

Don't sleep with people who are drunk or who aren't really into it. Don't sleep with anyone you wouldn't want to live with for the rest of your life. Don't get anyone pregnant. Don't sleep with crazy people; it's never worth it. There aren't really any magic words that will make somebody interested in you if they aren't already. Don't pine after somebody who isn't actively trying to make something happen, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/16 12:09 PM
3

I've read that one major mechanism for mate guarding in hunter-gatherer tribes was the man's female relatives, who would keep an eye open and gossip. Then presumably somebody tells the guy, "Dear, I wouldn't get too invested in her, because she's screwing somebody else." Beta chimps don't band together to overthrow the alpha and install a democracy, but human beings do. Well, female bonobos (a close relative of chimps) apparently band together to literally rip male bonobos limb from limb in some…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/16 04:34 PM
4

Syphilis doesn't show up in Europe until the late 1400s, and many historians believe it was brought back from the New World by Columbus's crews, and rapidly became a horrifying epidemic—it was much worse than later 19th century syphilis, and apparently it caused the flesh to fall off people's faces. That kind of ultra-rapid spread and horrifyingly lethal symptoms are typical of a disease spreading into a population that has zero immunity. So, all the European social structures you talk about exi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/16 04:23 PM
1

Agree. Speaking as a college-educated guy in the professional class, I've only ever dated within it. It's not that I was specifically looking to date extra-high-status people within that class, but that I wanted to date people I could talk to and relate to. The exceptions were smart, ambitious working-class people who went to college. Smart and well-read are as hot as hell. Physically attractive dumb women never really did it for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/16 04:06 PM
9

So if I (a man) were to go up to a woman in a grocery store and politely ask "Excuse me, I think you're really hot and I want to bang your brains out. Want to come to my place?", then wouldn't it follow that I should be celebrated for approaching the topic of sex openly and honestly without any stigma attached to it? Let me see if I can explain with analogy. I grew up in various small towns and rural areas. In these places, if you run into a middle-aged stranger walking their dog along the road,…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/16 02:12 PM
1

You're not putting in effort to get fit, you're putting in effort to pursue your hobbies. It depends on your goals, I think. If you just want some decent baseline fitness, you just need portion control and some regular cardio. But I've spoken with serious, competitive lifters, and they always make it absolutely clear that if you're trying to build real strength without a sloppy bulk, you need to keep your diet under very tight control. And bodybuilders are collectively nuts about food. People do…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/16 12:27 PM
1

Guys who can't shut up about how much they work out and how much they watch their diet annoy everybody, not just women. Yeah, social skills 101 (not being an annoying twit) is always good advice. But if you're in a LTR, you can't make it look entirely effortless. You need to put in the gym hours and eat right (at least most of the time). An attentive partner will notice even if your downplay it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/16 05:22 PM
1

Do women feel like a guy with an awesome gym body is a little bit self-absorbed and narcissistic and more likely to hit the gym than help take care of the kids? Sure. Heh, a hot bod might be appealing to women. But if you can't go out to eat tonight because you can't fit it into your macros, that's going to take some of the fun out of it for her. The original "dad bod" article was basically a case of saying, "Well, OK, a frat guy with some half-decent muscle and 18-20% body fat is still acceptab…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/16 04:54 PM
1

Sounds like you're already halfway there. You might just need to keep trying until you get a lucky break. So yes, my face is good enough to do online dating, but my height leads to complications. Yeah, but it's not a death sentence. I know a guy who's short (probably under 5'5"), hairy as a rug, and heavy enough to be over 30 BMI. His sense of humor is vile. But he's got iron-clad self confidence, good social skills, and doesn't give any fucks at all. He never has any problems, as far as I can t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/16 04:31 PM
1

I'd be interested in seeing what you think are the likely causes. Maybe some of that can be helped. I will start. I was pretty clueless about this stuff when I was 19. But I got my act a bit more together, and from then until I got married, I was usually dating someone. Here's what I learned: First, do what you can about attractiveness issues. If you're overweight, lose it. If you're skinny, lift until you stop looking like a skeleton. Cut your hair, wash it. Fix any hygiene issues. Shower every…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/16 04:19 PM
3

I remember that many of the most popular jocks in high school had this weird mix of being friendly guys and total assholes. One day they might be surprisingly nice; another day they might try to beat somebody up. Of course, some nerds can also be pretty obnoxious when you wouldn't have expected it, but that's not news to anybody on Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/16 04:40 AM
5

No, the incel posts are generally marginal from a debate perspective, and I would support a moratorium for a couple weeks. For example, somebody will ask for advice for incels, then people will try to give some advice (mostly bad, because we don't have enough information on their looks or personality), then a whole bunch of incels will start getting upset about the advice, because nobody could ever understand how bad they have it. My gut feeling is that if the mods take a hands-off policy, there…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/16 02:00 PM
1

I am almost tempted to take this up as a challenge. If I lift and go on a diet for 3 years, get a physique that makes greek gods weep in sorrow and still don't get laid, will you offer some sympathy then? If you think that a "physique that makes greek gods weep in sorrow" is within your reach, and if you want to put in that work just to prove that I'm an asshole, go for it. Rage at the unfairness of life has powered more than one lifter, and it's no worse a hobby than any other. Plus getting fit…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/16 02:57 PM
1

There are certain subreddits (and certain Tumblr communities) which give off more than a whiff of being circlejerks enabling mental illnesses. For example, the "pro-ana" communities which encourage anorexia, or certain Fat Acceptance activists who say things like, "Just because your diabetes required amputating a foot doesn't mean you should lose weight! Your doctor is incompetent for recommending that! Insist on getting the same treatment plan a 130 pound diabetic would get—the fact that you we…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/16 11:26 AM
1

What solution is there to end their suffering besides killing themselves? Honestly, if they're feeling suicidal because of the lack of sex and/or romantic interest, they really ought to find a good therapist, because their problems are way above reddit's pay grade. Also, they should stay the hell away from TRP, because the only thing that TRP has to offer them is a mix of self-improvement and bitterness, and they're going to ignore the former and wallow in the latter until they turn into such a …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/16 05:21 AM
3

No, have some damned self-respect. Either fix it or end it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/16 12:06 PM
1

(This is based on both personal experience and reading reports of conference security.) Good-looking, charismatic dark triad guys get away with all sorts of horrifying shit, and organizations are terrible about stopping them. Very often, these guys get themselves into positions of power and influence, and nobody wants to believe how bad they are. Abusive football coaches, priests, people with friends on the conference committee—the only thing that seems to stop them is massive public outrage. Bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/16 11:57 AM
6

Heh. Insecure, people-pleasing guys with no boundaries should really minimize their consumption of feminist click-bait articles. Similarly, insecure, people-pleasing women should avoid reading hundreds misogynistic angry posts on TRP. You know that's just messing with your head. I think that u/ozymandias271 once described this sort of self-loathing reading as a form of "self-harm." You can find angry assholes with any imaginable opinion, so why are you seeking out the ones that make you feel the…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/16 03:37 AM
1

I mean, 40's not that old if you stay in shape. It's not even too old to get in shape. The big problem is recovery, which is amazing at 20, so-so at 40, and apparently goes to shit by 50 with dropping testosterone levels. Even Mark Rippetoe is like, "Yeah, 60-year-old guys should maybe do one set of heavy deadlifts every couple of weeks." This chart shows how body fat typically changes with age. A 40 year old guy can still have washboard abs (at 11% or so) if he really wants them, but it's appar…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/16 04:42 PM
1

Guys with beer bellies, skinnyfat and dadbod guys should still try with women despite their less than perfect bodies… It might be a bit harder than being a guy with washboard abs, but it's not the worst thing. I can't change your view here, because I agree. Especially once a guy hits 30 or 40, washboard abs are pretty damn rare. The usual rule of thumb is that six packs start showing up for men around 11% body fat. 11% body fat on a healthy, good-looking 40-year-old is a pretty rare accomplishme…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/16 11:24 AM
1

I mean, sure, you definitely don't need to be attractive to women. Charisma and confidence can both work wonders, and not all women like the same body type. But think about the genuinely strong guys you've known. How many of them do badly with women? I mean, sure, I've known a couple of strong guys with awful personalities, and they often managed to attract women with deeply alarming issues, but they still attracted women. (This would correspond to the "Tired of being a beta orbiter? You, too, c…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/16 06:01 PM
2

And another problem is that many many many beta guys think that only jerks go to the gym. You wouldn't believe how much effort I have put in to convince friends that going to the gym is a good thing. I'm continually surprised at how many of the people doing heavy lifting are actually really friendly towards beginners and always willing to spot, etc. I've actually seen a higher proportion of obnoxious ego at some geek events. If a guy insists that "only jerks go to the gym", that may say just as …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/16 04:14 PM
1

So next question, why do you need to get big instead of fit? Because for a significant portion of guys, getting at least somewhat bigger is going to make it easier for them to get fit in other ways, it's going to help their looks more, and it's going to be easier to maintain. (Warning, exercise geekery ahead.) There are three general categories of things you could work on, and they have tradeoffs. Getting strong. Losing fat. Improving endurance. Normally, when you try to lose fat (2), you actual…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/16 03:57 PM
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