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MarshmallowPop Archive

View 1 post and 34 comments by MarshmallowPop on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Before marriage I thought her parents were a bit overbearing and too involved in her personal decisions. She assured me that is she is her own woman who makes her own decisions. I foolishly thought that after we married they would lay off a bit and respect that she is married into another household now. No - she still sided with them on everything and eventually they turned her against me. Trust your gut! People don't fundamentally change, what you think is who they are!
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 05:54 PM
9

I experienced this with my wife. I have pics of us laughing and she looks really happy but suddenly she was never happy. And she start reciting mistakes I made years ago. I learned this is called emotional compression. People rewrite history when their emotions are overloaded and the human brain wants a stable story. You remember happy moments. At the same time, it’s also possible that she experienced parts of the relationship differently than you realized. People can have authentic happy moment…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 07:54 AM
2

Asian women have their own issues. It's all about money, status, and face to a sickening degree. If you can't jive with that, you're cooked.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 10:40 PM
16

We were never healthy, in her world everything was 100% my fault, she had no negative faults, she was a love expert, and I was a POS she tolerated. lol this is so similar to my STBXW. She was smiling in so many of our pics, but now the relationship was always "toxic". I tried to smooth things over with her but I was "transactional" if I asked for her to change anything on her side. Her feelings are 100% fact, but my feelings are symptoms of the problem. Why the fuck are women like this? they are…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 06:19 AM
3

I know where I fucked up in my marriage. I know what red flags to look for in a partner. I think I can try again, when I find the right woman, whom I will screen very carefully. Also, a prenup is 100% required. If she doesn't understand that, then she doesn't understand me, and it's not gonna work.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 07:04 PM
1

User name checks out
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 07:56 PM
2

She can remove herself. You can always make new chats without her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 04:28 AM
9

Admit that she is also imperfect instead of placing 100% of the blame on me. But she can’t admit 1% or even an infinitesimal part of it, so here we are.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 02:01 AM
23

Women tend to have a larger support network from the get-go so they hit the ground running faster. Men tend to have fewer friends, and it turns out most of their friends are actually their wife's friends. I know for me, we were always traveling to see her extended family, do stuff she wanted to do, etc. So when I lost her, my world got smaller. I had neglected to keep building my own life when I got married.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 07:57 PM
4

She's a bitch and she'll claw for everything she can. That is to be expected. Remember that what she wants and what she gets are two different things. I lavished my STBXW with a car and expensive jewelry and trips, then she wanted half of my shit on the way out. Her initial settlement offer will be outrageous and fundamentally flawed, and her lawyer will phrase it like she's doing you a favor, to avoid continued legal fees. Do not be intimidated. Your lawyer can help you determine what's true co…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 10:01 PM
1

Yeah. I feel like I was willing to fall on the sword and take all the blame. I'm 100% at fault, whatever, I just wanted my wife back. But I didn't get those opportunities for consistent action because she already left the home.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 07:04 PM
3

Working for the relationship means you are choosing to grow alongside the person you chosen. That growth is the work. It's a fantasy to have a relationship where both people are always happy and there are never any compromises. There's always going to be ups-and-downs, external stressors that challenge both of you. Should you be married for 40 years and then, once it gets a little hard, you dip out? Life is a long time, and marriage is choosing each other again and again. But yeah, if you're fun…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 06:52 PM
3

Be aware that you’re just in the beginning of the process. You might feel ready to date today but other days you may feel like a complete mess. Speaking from experience, if the new woman picks up that you aren’t completely over it, it’s going to strain this new relationship. Tread carefully. Maybe find your bearings and sit with your feelings for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 04:54 AM
18

I had a similar conversation with my STBXW. Very binary thinking. Everything I did was because I was selfish, blah blah blah. Everything she did was justified, and if I was hurt, well it was my mentality that was problem. We couldn’t have nuance. It takes two to have a relationship. It can’t be one person doing all the work while the other person judges. You need to attack the problem, not each other. There is this meme where women are great communicators and only leave after months/years of sil…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 04:20 PM
3

Struggling with this as well. Similar age as you. My marriage was under two years. I hate all the money I wasted on the wedding. On designer rings. On the honeymoon. On her car and fancy Christmas gifts. On the legal process. I hate the 8 years wasted on her, the best years of my life. I have a hard time dating because I thought I knew someone after 8 years and then everything collapsed so quickly. I can’t fully trust again. You will rebuild. There’s nicer girls out there, but you will also lear…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 05:31 AM
2

I'm thinking about moving because I live in one of those male cities in the US. Tech hub, of course. But my company doesn't have offices in every city and I don't know how I feel about working remote when I already struggle with social isolation.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 07:50 AM
4

I was with my wife for a similar time frame, with a short marriage. It’s amazing how marriage magnified every incompatibility we had.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 01:40 AM
2

Her family is also too involved in our life and all my wife wants to do is please them. I think she see it as a responsibility because she is the oldest. She seems to be worried more about what they think about her decisions than what I think. I relate to this. I didn't feel like I was her #1, and in marriage you definitely need to feel that security. But on the other hand, my wife was an immigrant, so her family was extremely close by necessity. Certain dynamics were what she's been conditioned…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 12:20 AM
3

There's group therapy for men going through divorce. I've met a lot of good guys there and we're still supporting each other.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 03:12 AM
12

She would never apologize. She would sometimes show she was sorry in a subtle way, like a small gift. But she could never just own up to her mistakes in the moment. All I would ever want is her to acknowledge she makes mistakes too, "I understand why that hurt you, and you were right to feel that way." She never once offered me an unqualified acknowledgment that my pain made sense. It was always conditional, some shit like "I could have handled it better, but do you understand why I did it?"
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 05:57 AM
2

If it is informal discovery, are there any consequences? They made a settlement offer missing a bunch of shit. Feels like fraud to make an offer knowingly omitting information.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 06:36 PM
2

Women just want a “provider”. I would love to quit my job too and have someone take care of me!
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 06:19 PM
17

I never probed into my wife's accounts and she never probed into mine. I thought that was fine: our marriage was still early, and we didn't have a kid, so we didn't need to really commingle assets just yet. We both contributed to a joint account for joint expenses. My STBXW accused me of financial infidelity because I had a large account prior to marriage and didn't want to put her name on it just yet. Shit escalated, we had a fight over the joint account, and I filed. During discovery, it turne…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 07:32 AM
1

I feel like men are treated as expendable resources. You can love someone but once you don't suit their needs you are disregarded.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 04:21 AM
8

Sad and miserable, though the process isn’t finalized yet. I really loved her. We both messed up, I own my mistakes, but I really wanted to stay with her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 11:18 PM
33

I feel this. My wife and I created a dynamic that wasn't working and drove us apart. I found the marriage counselor, I paid for the sessions, I desperately wanted her to feel heard. But all the sessions became what I did wrong. She was the judge, and I had to prove myself. She couldn't admit to 50%, she couldn't admit to 10%, she couldn't admit to a single thing she was willing to do differently. I treated the relationship as something worth fighting through discomfort for. She treated discomfor…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 08:03 AM
1

I assumed we're talking about Washington. It's more nuanced than that. If you have a $1M account, and $5 of marital funds enter that account, it doesn't magically make the entire account marital property. If that was the case, I could make a direct deposit to my spouse's account and commingle it. A tracing report can establish where funds came from. In my case, it was also a very short marriage, so the court was more inclined to restore us to our premarital state.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 10:34 PM
1

A forensic accountant /Certified Value Analyst can provide tracing reports to tease apart what was acquiring during marriage. It gets more messy the longer the marriage was, if you kept adding funds to the same account. I was able to do this for a two year old marriage with existing assets.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 08:04 AM
1

I exaggerate, but it was more like “shoot am I really doing this?” We were together for five years by this point. I thought I knew everything about them. Turns out we had just enough distance to make the relationship work, and marriage, of course, put a spotlight on it. We did not live together beforehand, because of her parents preferences.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 08:03 PM
12

It taught me to listen to my gut. When I saw the way she spent money, I felt uneasy. But I rationalized it as, she wasn’t in debt and worked hard for nice things. When I proposed, I felt sick. But I rationalized it as me just being scared of long term commitment. No. We had deep incapabilities.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 10:03 PM
2

No but I’ve done IRL group therapy for divorced men, and that was very helpful. Included a few social events. We have a group chat and still support each other.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 08:54 PM
3

I was nervous about my wedding. On my wedding day, I talked with the pastor after we said our vows, just making chit chat. He said that sometimes people do the wedding but then tell the pastor not to send in the paperwork, and I was thinking “you can do that?” My gut told me a lot of things I ignored.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 03:09 AM
2

Thank you for your detailed response, I truly appreciate it
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 05:30 AM
1

I’m super thankful for your detailed response. I was able to get someone on retainer so I’ll see what happens from here. Very stressful couple of days debating if I wanted to go through with it
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/25 05:30 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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