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Maximum_Use5854 Archive

View 0 posts and 128 comments by Maximum_Use5854 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

lol I was spitting some song lyrics. Recognize em? Maybe I’m to old as a Gen x for those?
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 01:31 AM
3

Time flies, doesn't seem a minute Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boards in it All changed, don't you know that when you Play at this level there's no ordinary venue
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 01:23 AM
8

How do you know the profile owner is female ;) Two Thailand call girls asked me for a threesome once. Said it’s like winning the lottery. To my horror it was as we had 6 matching balls.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 12:41 AM
1

If it sailed “long ago” was that 201 years ago. ;) I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt as learn from ppl even when I disagree but 1/ why are you commenting on this group 2/ this post 3/ and telling others to punish your partner 4/ and what does punish mean to you
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 02:58 PM
1

Treat her like an adult and explain why I feel why I was insulted and request she not do that again. If she chooses to that’s on her and I don’t need to be with her. It’s a “partnership” not a dictatorship and I don’t need to resort to that BS. I indirectly feel sorry for every woman you meet and I guess treat like crap needlessly
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 02:18 PM
2

Simp maybe is on the mark but punish? He’s not an abusive woman…that’s BS they do. But stating he offers drinks for someone that appreciates effort is not a bad thing Imo
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 05:13 AM
1

So pull the cash. Just do it and deal w it later
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 10:05 PM
3

Why put yourself through that? If there’s no legal benefit in your state why get that validation vs simply assuming she did. If it comes up she’ll probably tell you details which isn’t fun
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 09:01 PM
1

Why is it not in your opinion?
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 10:26 PM
3

It’s only a good idea for kids IMO and only if that is what a man wants. I’m married, almost divorced, and while I like monogamy it’s not necessary to be married and far less pricey if you separate
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 10:13 PM
5

I was on bumble for abit. The video plus photos was great. I’m pretty cocky and love to drink and ride motorcycles….cut through the Barbie doll gold diggers pretty quick
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 08:36 PM
5

You’re not hurting her. She tried forcing you to do something you weren’t comfortable doing. No means no and that’s that. No one owns you, your shit, your life, but you. Next woman just be quicker to this trigger if this was bothering you that much.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 08:32 PM
9

Kinda a red flag bud. The emotional tears, all night crying, call me. Why invite that in your life? And I’ll guess she’s in her 30’s and never married? If yes that’s also a red flag IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 05:56 AM
4

I filed. Transferred 50% of what she didn’t spend. About 9 months goes by and 5 weeks before finalization we started talking. We now have separate finances and weekly talks - I’m the communicator type and we both learned to try to offer things etc and not assume. Helped us both I was running through quality women and boosted my trashed confidence and I was dumping them pretty quickly if they were gold diggers…she in my opinion though saw I can and will move on so offer your best. There’s more al…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 08:15 PM
3

This guy. So far so good.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 08:06 PM
3

I’d drive towards point 5 and separate accounts. You can pay your share of things on the home and date nights etc but she can pay for other things w her $. It’s amazing what happens when you throttle women financially - they become accountable…. And if she can’t you know she’s going to impact your retirement and can choose your desired outcome
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 07:59 PM
2

True but at what point can OP get to the bottom? Anything short of admittance of “what happened” is gas lightening isn’t it? The why is importantly but in my very narrow marriage experience women often can’t say why…they just “feel”. Personally OP I think you read the dear bedroom book, way of a superior man, I feel bad when I say no, no more mr nice guy and see if those resonate w you. You can’t change her but you can change you and if the marriage is done come out a stronger guy. If it’s not t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 01:26 PM
3

There’s nothing Christian, biblical, magic in this learning. Women are simply crazy from my perspective. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 07:39 PM
3

One foot in front of the other. Think through things you liked or wanted to do before her and give it a go.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 01:11 AM
0

No I think I do. I noted an article, a bunch of comments about the “patriarchy”, by profiles that could be anywhere in the world or even bots. These profiles are trying to make something personal and local based on a quick news article and I said the husband picked. I personally didn’t “dilute Justice” any more than you did unless I guess you voted that judge in. I do understand the justice system in the USA is a mish mash of precedents and complicated. Blame the husband - he picked. But I do fi…
/r/MensRights14/05/24 02:29 PM
-5

Do you hold me accountable for my decisions? You do btw as you are probably downvoting my comment. ;) I do anyone to be transparent. First though he’s a victim you don’t trust makes correct decisions in your opinion. Then she’s a dangerous individual for society. Now you’re worried you’ll date her. IMO I expect society to take care of itself - men, women, lgbtq+. In doing so they get to pick and if things are set up right there’s equality. You are arguing for equity I think as he’s seen I guess …
/r/MensRights14/05/24 01:58 AM
-11

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume she’s not going to put bleach in your coffee or mine. Js things get weird and he picked…you keep changing your reasoning. We will agree to disagree that you’ll simply keep coming up with reasons vs me I’m saying he picked. That’s life
/r/MensRights14/05/24 01:12 AM
-12

So in a men’s rights group we’re now going to debate if he was in his right mind legally? ;) he picked and that’s his right isn’t it?
/r/MensRights14/05/24 12:47 AM
2

Relationships are hard. Living with someone is hard. Why run the risk of giving someone 50% of your wealth? When I was separated I started dating a long time friend outside looking in was great…. Then I dated her and noped out quick AF…. And when I got a scathing text because I guess phone calls are hard I laughed and realized I dodged a bullet. I’m with my original wife still but during the dating stuff with others I decided I’d never marry again if I ever divorced. Ppl are just to unpredictabl…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 12:44 AM
3

No I didn’t. I did pull the papers but it wasn’t out of guilt. Maybe you’re simply not meant for marriage and doing her a favor???? Sounds harsh on my part as this is text but imagine us drinking a beer together and you said this and I rebutted with that question out of kindness. Do think about it long term though…why get married again if you’re not having kids
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 12:36 AM
-3

The husband pulled the plug on jail time. I’d guess the toxicology report indicated the volume wasn’t toxic so let him pick and the state felt satisfied. Blame the husband
/r/MensRights13/05/24 11:30 PM
2

Well my edit to your edit…definitely start buying clothes, take a small trip, and hang out with your guy buddies more. Be unavailable and live your life. You didn’t ask for this but by god you’ll move on and are starting to. It’ll work even better if she sees a woman look at you but you ignore the woman. She’ll see she can choose to be w a guy other women want or not. If she proceeds with divorce she’ll basically be one of many women…during my divorce I saw 3 women in one day once and was dating…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 11:12 PM
0

Go to the gym, buy new clothes, separate your finances and Venmo $ around. You didn’t pick this but live your life. My opinion isn’t the popular one but bang who you want if you are in a state where it doesn’t matter. Ask a lawyer if this is considered a negative in your state
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 10:11 PM
18

My guy it’s like you’ve not read anything in this thread and find it applicable to you. Move home, stop paying for her crap, don’t give child support, get a lawyer, sell the house, move on…you’re going to get kicked in the junk harder because you let her. Simple as that…sucks but damn execute to protect yourself and then move on
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 08:50 PM
10

I hate when women, I’ll assume you’re a woman, see this group and comment. Doors to the proverbial left
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 10:16 AM
1

Whatcha thinking about buying?
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 09:18 PM
3

I’d do what I do now at 51. Set goals, live my life, try to love
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 03:20 PM
4

lol truth social.
/r/MensRights30/04/24 06:57 PM
1

Yup I think I read that one plus way of a superior man 3-4 times.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 11:23 AM
4

No problem. I ended up not divorcing but had a F’ing blast. Do not take your dates to your favorite bars etc though…messes those locations up. But you can then explore as well
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 09:37 PM
3

Read dating essentials for men. Recognize you are just one of many and treat her (them) the same.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 09:34 PM
1

You’ve read the book? Mostly it is providing a recommendation to only give time to women you’re willing to. Men are goal driven or at least I am so ya I’ll go with biology as I’ve set goals for myself since I was a teen and actually I’m still living the exact goals 30 years later. ;) and I’ve my next 50 planned out
/r/MensRights29/04/24 08:55 PM
10

Read the book way of a superior man and strive. No one cares unless you’re moving forward on your direction - even you don’t care. Can’t change biology even though we try w/ laws etc.
/r/MensRights29/04/24 02:01 PM
3

Or you could consider riding it out, rising above, and not letting others control your actions. Sorry about your pops - mines failing and I get the loss of that base. Shit deal all around but life’s pretty good when it’s good. Rise above as the band black flag played
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 03:38 AM
27

Because no one respects a man who feels without making it a “tackle next move” towards bettering himself. We’re only respected when producing.
/r/MensRights27/04/24 11:41 PM
1

You are a troll or an idiot. This channel is for men who are divorcing and struggling not this BS.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 11:38 PM
8

Don’t marry her if this is the BS you are thinking. Ever. Never.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 11:23 PM
2

Ya they are shallow. There’s the obvious physical stuff but they also want to be “wanted” not needed but IMO men want to be needed and have value. Women’s desire to be wanted and all the responses to their potential parading around is simply narcissistic on their part if they’re doing that. Anyone disagree? Think I missed a facet of this?
/r/MensRights25/04/24 10:06 PM
5

Way of a superior man.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 09:48 PM
1

Rebuilding. Coming apart. Way of a superior man. This one sounds dumb but dead bedroom fix. Any of the titled booked about saying fuck it are usually interesting
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 09:48 PM
2

I dropped 16 lbs in the first two months. I was cool w it
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:19 AM
1

Yup. But op didn’t indicate they were selling. But if selling 100% agree w you
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 08:08 PM
1

Updated…left out abit of the math. When I was divorcing - didn’t in end - we sorted out value of the homes we owned and I bought out equity. She didn’t cover hypothetical fees of selling. Just like I didn’t cover taxes if she sold stock I transferred to her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 07:20 PM
2

Right. If the value is $100,000k usd and mortgage is 50k should get 25k in a buy out. I’d not cover a part of fees unless the house was sold.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 07:06 PM
3

Why should you pay selling fees? If the agreement is to sell then sure it’s market value - selling fees / 2 = your cut. It’s like trying to price stock value minus 15% for gains or figure out future losses….not your problem
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 05:26 PM
2

Also OP don’t let them state you get less if it’s sold so accept less unsold. That’s BS logic…get your fair market value divided by 2 and if she wants to sell more power to her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 05:22 PM
2

Read dating essentials for men - dr Robert Grover. Have fun. It’s on audio as well
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 09:39 PM
8

My dad married a widower who had no savings and lived check to check. He is happy but broke in his old age and asks his kids for $ periodicity to fix things on his house as hers have no money and thought of him, you guessed it, as a bank. If you’re ok w being broke until the day you die, should it get serious go for it, else maybe just not see her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 04:03 AM
1

I think OP you’ve simply realized you’ve options. You wanted her and let yourself think you needed her until you realized both were not true. Women love to be wanted not both IMO. It’s stories like yours that I feel should give ppl that go scorched earth some perspective it doesn’t need to be antagonistic but you’ve moved on. Also perhaps there’s a challenge in defining “friends” in the English language. Without adjectives we are kinda limited in descriptions…maybe you’re simply saying you’ll he…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 05:38 PM
2

Love that. I’ve thought about Alaska trip but not on a Harley as I don’t like the pan American. Thought about a Honda or Yamaha…. Glad you’re getting that wind therapy. I love just getting on my bike and playing punk or hard core metal. Everyone gets to join in!
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 02:39 PM
3

What bike you ride? I’ve a HD road glide special myself. Love that bike
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 10:13 PM
3

I’m traveling at moment and saw a German couple. GF or whatever put on that pouty smiling where it’s at face while leaning on a 5th century castle wall. I thought you poor bastard as she asked him to take a picture.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 08:11 AM
8

Never put her on a pedestal. If you wouldn’t tolerate it on 2-3rd date why 2-3rd year? It’s conversations and expectations
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 10:03 PM
2

Just an opinion but at age 48 adding a masters in library sciences doesn’t sound lucrative unless you have an org that’s paying for it plus giving you a role that’s paying higher now. Have you considered 1/ getting over there fact that work sucks - sorry my friend most jobs either pay well or you happen to like them with very few both. 2/ google jobs that require your current degree and see if you can apply it. You’ll be entry level potentially but it will start you down a path. Maybe see which …
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 05:57 AM
2

Friend of mine divorcing, did this awhile ago, and was telling guys what to do “mistress”. Dodged a bullet actually as her ex killed his next partner. That’s neither here nor there though. But cringe on the dom crap
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 02:29 AM
5

Mine. Pulled papers after abit but we were only the qrdo processing pending. Just be honest, be reasonable. Mine was easy as were married for 30 years and our kids were older. Was 50/50 and working it out….I even loaned her $ so she could buy a house. But as many will share things go sideways quick sometimes
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 11:04 PM
2

I’d not move simply because of the interest hit. Painting is easy and can happen on your time. Kitchen can happen when you find someone to do it for you. Once done consider renting it if you want and making $ off it. Really no need to move the kids is there soon but you’ll enjoy that stability for years and can enjoy the updates while you think about your plan. My house is many roomed as well - I’ve a library, office, gym, place for vinyl. You can as well
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 06:44 AM
5

You can ask your 401k provider for the qrdo template and do yourself if you want. It just needs to meet your divorce stipulations. If you’re not comfortable submitting do all the legwork and give it to your lawyer for a read over
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 12:38 AM
1

I feel ya. I tried for years to make my wife happy by giving her what she said she wanted or what society sad she wanted. Didn’t work - she almost ruined us a few times financially and the one that did it for me was her talking about retiring young but not stopping her spending. Also disrespected me once publicly when I was reaching out publicly for connection. F that…never again. She’s lucky to have me IMO and I’m humble but F that. So I’d suggest you read those books…as well as no more mr nice…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 11:58 PM
2

Yup. Ppl change and you can be who you want to be. Just acknowledge that after you put on a pedestal you’re still here and it sucks. But why would you suggest to OP he do what you did and maybe would continue to do? He needs to stand tall and be the guy she met vs being a simp and I’m not a red pill guy btw but she didn’t marry a simp I assume so why suggest he be that guy she can walk all over.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 11:16 PM
1

[my second comment to you] Go to the gym, buy new clothes, car, get your finances settled. Read and live the book way of a superior man and how to not give a f…be a man even if she’s not seeing it. Sucks but often the wives are way worse off and end up with a F up that treats her like crap. You can not choose for her so why keep giving her power to choose for you
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 11:04 PM
2

I filed. Pulled my papers after 9 months. And it’s because I don’t put her on a pedestal it works now. I was like many here; high earner, did more than my share of house work, cooked, cleaned, put kids through college, even bought MIL a house, blah blah blah. I don’t do that shit now and we’ve separate finances. I ask her often why she made me miserable and treated me like an ATM. No reason why. I’ve told her many times women are simply insane and have no understanding of their actions or reason…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 11:00 PM
6

Omg. Op ignore this one. Never put your wife on a pedestal. You already did. But you don’t get excuses to be rude either…damn…roshi what more can he do? Communication yes but sounds like OP needs to be firm on his needs and what he’s willing to offer. Should do so calculating after she has a job though and if she refuses to work he’s his path
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 10:43 PM
1

But like a house they go up or down and that’s her problem but only when earned / vested. Also don’t pay her taxes - she sells them that’s on her. Is a pita to transfer if you’ve black out periods as well and targeting dates. I’d suggest saying you’ll start transfer x days after y date or finalization and it is what it is
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:28 PM
2

Why? Rsu are vested or not. They are also earned during a time of employment. If they are vested, and earned during marriage, I’d suggest payout similar to $ on hand or percentage of a home like any other assets. To try to suggest giving unvested rsu or future value is crazy as it may not happen or op may quit, get fired…. Being on hook for future value is crazy and beyond reasonable if that’s what you were thinking. Where’s my logic incorrect?
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 10:31 PM
3

This is good advice. I’m watching a buddy who filed but didn’t do this cold calculating from what I can tell struggle abit now. I knew going into mine what 50/50 was so just laid out in my convos the $ she would have.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 04:50 PM
6

Face to face like a decent human. In text is being a simp and not setting the tone for a business transaction that will be a death at the same time. I pulled my papers after abit but I think this was also do to the civility of the process and working through it together. Now that we’re still married I ensure I don’t take her crap and backslide on what bugged me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 03:33 PM
4

Yes she’s lost respect for you. Stop chasing her, stop complaining about her being cold, read the book about dead bedrooms by sdo. They want to be wanted and have a strong man other women want not a person that’s looking for their approval…. Dumb but how they’re wired.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 10:35 AM
1

Volunteer at food bank. If you’re religious then there’s that. Hobbies. I was in small town Oklahoma a few weeks back…think 1 stop light small town…2 guys from Chechnya were there in the bar w me and you’d think they’re rock stars due to novelty. lol Try a bar is my point
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 08:29 PM
2

If you’re just there for sex you might find using someone physically isn’t all that…you’ll potentially need to develop feelings for someone in order to enjoy dating which might be confusing and push / pull your boundaries you’re trying to set up. Just be honest with yourself and your new “friends”
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 12:07 PM
2

Could move to another country. Not pay. Peace of mind. Or just say it’s a bumb deal not fighting over
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 12:13 AM
1

Luck as wife will need to stand up to mom. When I was divorcing and eventually talking w mine again about not going through it I said don’t tell your family about me. Talk about kids etc all you want…nothing specific about me. Caught her slipping and sharing and I simply said it’s my life, my story, my decisions and outcomes. I don’t need them taking sides or giving you advice you want that then we’re still going to divorce and they can mess up your life more while I do my stuff. So far so good …
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 08:04 PM
3

Dead bedroom fix by sdo. Good for a quick fix IMO and I’ve read 3-4 times. Just basically says don’t give as much care about her No more mr nice guy. Start w this one. The art of not giving a fuck The way of a superior man. Might recommend in free time but after above two When I say no I feel guilty. It’s on my list to read for additional pointers The origins of you. Vienna pharaon If you’ve let you guy buddies go get them back. If you moved or whatever make new ones. Men won’t judge you like a …
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 08:00 PM
1

Abit of myself yes. Mostly I changed my mental model on how I treat women and my wife. I stopped trying to reason with her and I ask her opinions and make decisions that mostly work for me first vs her first. I still get looped into running errands she wants which I dislike as it slows down my own errand running but I also live my life how I want. I basically took my wife of 30 years and give her respect but don’t solve her problems and treat her as if we’re dating and I’m not overly invested. I…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 07:16 PM
1

I attended counseling and found it beneficial not marriage counseling though to be fair. My counselor is kick ass…I used to let stuff w my wife slide as well and don’t any longer. If I’d not accept it on date two with a person I’d not accept now w my wife. Was a big paradigm shift for me and worked so far. I pulled the divorce papers about 5 weeks ago
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 06:55 PM
1

I was not suggesting divorce myself actually. This is potentially fixable as they’re both in counseling. We are who we are but can blunt some of the edges and maybe he just needs to be firm and be there stand up guy he can be…gym time. Maybe some additional training to bump his wages abit p
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:59 PM
2

I meant “this sounds dumb”. Thx for the catch as I get it. Men are thinking being a pleaser keeps the girl…nope…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:57 PM
3

Read books such as when I say no I feel guilty. It’s on my to do. And op(edited “this”) sounds dumb but go to the gym, pick your own clothing if you’re not, don’t ask her opinion on things that are only about you, get some guy buddies, simply get away and be your own person. You don’t need to divorce but you’ve prob told her indirectly you’re not in control and she’s concerned about safety etc. you can fix this but gotta be an individual
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:04 PM
1

Ya this is probably some generational learning and OP dad or mom was very critical and OP learned to deflect. Took me my early 20’s to figure this out in my family and not be that guy. Hey OP there’s books on this topic I can find for you if you’re interested.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 04:25 PM
0

Also it’s indifference like you don’t need her approval but are around and doing your stuff as it needs to happen. You’re caring but if she doesn’t give you feedback leave - hit the gym, the gun range, whatever. I did a ton around the home while she was out the other night as an example…I didn’t mention it and eventually she’ll see it. I expect her to do stuff as well and I tell her thanks but don’t expect her to pat me on the head in return. Sounds dumb but I honestly had to figure out I really…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 10:06 PM
1

Yea and no. The dog is property so that’s legal stuff I think but just tell her you’re keeping the dog. None of that “only family stuff”. You love the dog, she knows it, if you need a dog sharing plan then that’s how it goes but it’s property and if was there before her it’s yours. Don’t be a whiny guy just consider how that sounds as your wife wants a man to get her passions going…it’s why they cheat IMO. Husbands act like babies sometimes and they simply lose interest. Read that book. It’ll ma…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 10:01 PM
2

I did. I filed. Did the stupid guy crap of dating 5-6 women at once, hit the gym, rode my bike, went on vacations, but eventually sorted my life and mental health out. Realized I didn’t like dating and started settling on the next “one”. I was talking to my wife the entire time off and on and she had bought a new house etc. I realized I was just as much the problem along the way as she was in simply being shitty at giving me attention, respect, not blowing our $ on BS. So we had some heart to he…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 09:37 PM
2

Yes. It’s not disrespecting them or having ulterior motives it’s literally treating her like you’ve got other shit to do and that’s being w your guy buddies, going to gym, working on a business plan, a hobby, whatever. Stop being available and show her you got your crap together and don’t give a flying f what others think. Seriously as dumb as it sounds it’s how she’s wired to respond…the bad boy gets the cheerleader. Bro I make decent cash, have the next 50 years planned but I’m 51, and can tel…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 09:15 PM
7

Read the dead bedroom fix and do that. If you have already and it’s been a few months of you giving absolutely zero F’s and hitting the gym etc then file it there’s no change if you want. If you want to save your family stop bitching and be a rock. Think back when you met her. You were probably fun etc and shit wasn’t complicated with kids etc. Try to be that guy…they say they want this and that and have no damn clue…be a man other women want and see how that works. This is coming from a guy, me…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 08:07 PM
2

Hell man. lol I didn’t have this fight. But ppl have pet custody agreements. Asset…property…they have value but don’t get overly specific on me I’m not a lawyer. ;) but yes they’re property and is why if someone hits your dog on accident w a car it’s a financial claim and not murder. I assume you can ask your lawyer if she leaves dog with other assets if that’s abandonment after 30 days of the dog basically
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 11:47 PM
2

Isn’t a pet considered an asset? If it’s not called out with specificity there’s prob wiggle room of an asset being left.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 11:41 PM
1

My slow train wreck was years in the making then I was decisive. It would have cost me about 500k but was worth it. As mentioned I filed then pulled papers and now we’ve separate finances and pays 50% of things. Even when we’re out we treat each other on dates now so it’s equitable-ish. You will be amazing soon as you get your feet under you. I keep coming to this group to learn and ensure I don’t lose sight of the game and BS. I know I am terrible alone and won’t be happy but also know it’s a g…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 02:59 AM
3

(2nd post for awareness) I was dating while separated / divorcing and yes we had separate houses. one I was really interested in and seemingly similar after abit when I was clearly sharing asks on setting boundaries and wanting to be exclusive and couldn’t get her to agree so I moved on. In doing so she lashed after I shared I’m done and blamed me…I only smiled and shook my head realizing I dodged a bullet. I refuse to accept absence of ownership…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 12:37 AM
2

Must be a societal thing or simply they think differently than a man? Or maybe it’s guys settling and not fighting for their rights / happiness. I was pretty unhappy - not miserable - for years and finally filed and highlighted her lack of listening to me over the years. Even basics like eat dinner w me was beyond her. Things changed after abit and I pulled the papers and recently I had to double down remind her I’m not fixing her problems she’s created recently and to stand tall and fix her cra…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 12:31 AM
3

I feel all ppl do this to be honest. Maybe men are more direct about it though but I’ve seen / experienced shady stuff by men and women generally speaking
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 07:33 PM
3

Who knew huh. You’re in the same boat as the exes current wife. You have an easy life boat and she’s looking at a potential divorce when the connection they have is sorted out to be the emotional affair it prob is. Doesn’t mean your girl doesn’t love you just she’s got emotions still for the ex. Start asking for boundaries as suggested earlier and watch how your girl reacts. Anything other than I didn’t know it made you uncomfortable, I’ll limit the calls to the girls, and you’ll know. If she sa…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 01:49 PM
1

I didn’t go into discovery in divorce but did this for a living - data parsing - it gets expensive. I’d give it in whatever is easiest for you and most challenging for her. It’s her problem to deal w it. If that’s pdf great. Paper great and yes kinkos will print pdf for you I think.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 05:05 PM
13

Check before you leave the house if she’s going. Don’t take them to your “places” you like to hang. Don’t give up your guy buddies. Don’t pay for everything. Expect her to take you out or bounce her. Don’t be needy and don’t expect much from them. Don’t invite to family stuff. Do he on time. Do investigate how to break up / off. Do dress well. Do he confident. You’re a man…Act it. Do have fun. Do be honest about things - even just sex. So be aware you control the relationship and if you’re worth…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 01:03 AM
3

I pulled the trigger on my end, pulled the papers after awhile, but wasn’t as emphatic prob as I could have been. I wish I had pulled trigger sooner and filed even if outcome would be the same. Would have saved me years of BS and told my wife don’t F around w me when I’m politely informing of issues I’m seeing. There’s a few books on this you’ve prob read. ;) but the I’m not happy and here is why is a good start. Prior to that I suggest you talk to a lawyer just to get an idea of what may happen
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 10:54 PM
4

Have you stated clearly your concern, asked if she can do things w you minus booze, and started dropping your concerns about relationship viability? The or else might get her attention
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 10:20 PM
3

I’m not dating at moment but if you wanted specific dating advice I can tell you apps or things I did that were successful. Mostly it’s confidence and walking away when it seemed they were needy and not worth my time
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 09:54 PM
2

Dating essentials for men was my go to book. I hadn’t dated in 30 years. Models by mark Manson was surfaced to me last week so I thought I’d read it
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 09:31 PM
2

I did this all myself. Kids are older and valuing assets is pretty easy if you don’t own a business. I think itc was $347 to file. Maybe 6 hours to figure out. Free to cancel the divorce. You will have to research but the courts offer packets and have virtual methods to file docs
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 10:56 PM
2

Could seek separation vs divorce as it’ll mark in the sand financial obligations from X date. Divorce is ugly but a standing up for yourself action may get the message across. I filed for divorce vs a separation and ended up pulling the papers and stopping the claim from proceeding. This might be the wake up call she needs. Every state is different though.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 04:28 PM
1

Why put pressure on yourself and try to date if you’re not into it? Maybe you’ll get social connection simply grabbing a book and going to a Starbucks and saying hi to anyone around you. Not to be creepy just to be friendly and see others respond. Goes without saying dress in clean clothes etc ;) I did this and found it beneficial
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 02:22 PM
5

I don’t recall financial promises to be honest. When does this happen in the contract of marriage? (Update) if there’s implied wealth transfer that’s prostitution which I didn’t sign up for either. I want a partner
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 11:10 PM
3

Advice. Date but no “partner”. Why put another of pedestal. Read dating essentials for men and just be open to whatever. I had great results simply saying hi in various places I frequent as well as hinge.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 01:56 AM
1

You can request in a court sponsored order. The weed prob won’t stick but coke is a big one but leaves the system in I think 3 days…you’d have to google it but if the threat of a piss test sets heer straight you are ahead in the game and giving your son a better mom hopefully
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 11:55 PM
3

This isn’t setting rules IMO this is simply setting a boundary on your time and wanting to be with your buddies.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 11:53 PM
1

As part of the lawyer discussions you may want to ask if she gets busted for drugs how you protect yourself from that. This is assuming you’re not using drugs yourself and if you are rethink this as it may get ugly and you’ll want clean piss tests
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 11:45 PM
8

I think you should consider selling, taking the receipt and burning it in a small personal letting go ceremony, and thinking about a small trip, bullets and going shooting, golfing w a buddy…whatever but please consider not keeping it as you’ll find it occasionally and not “let go”. Sorry about your struggle
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 02:53 PM
8

Send her a list of handy ppl and inform they accept credit cards.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 03:38 AM
8

He didn’t ask for an opinion. He’s living his life as well he should.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 08:03 AM
6

Read no more mr nice guy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 10:49 PM
2

We enjoy beer, whiskey, cigars occasionally while listening to music.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 12:45 AM
5

I read the power of habit book. Helped me note that coffee is a big driver /reward for me so I decided if I wanted my reward I needed to earn it with yoga and gym time. Hope this helps you should you also want to try this mental trick to get you going back to the gym
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 05:32 PM
7

No. Nope. Enjoy it for what it may be - booty call. Play it cool and see where it goes.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 11:45 PM
6

Agreed! I’m not into ppl having issues etc but if she’s moving on that fast and getting into a new contract (marriage) I sorta feel for the new guy as she’s a red flag based on the terse info
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 09:42 PM
2

With chemicals,booze, gambling, compulsive spending I’m of the opinion that’s deal breakers after the cards are on the table which I like and did in my own. No one should be forced to pick between their personal happiness and someone else’s destructive addictions IMO. I was in op shoes and I’m giving mine her chance as id want as ppl slip but I also learned that there’s more fish etc and that’s also what gives me resolve in my relationship as I love her but could do so from afar as well.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 02:47 PM
3

I filed and pulled the papers. She had moved out and bought a new house and we were fairly far along. My terms were stated. She moved in with me and I could see she was changing her life and we had hard convos. Only you’ll know but so far I’ve no regrets but I also wasn’t living w an alcoholic. I’d be careful and suggest she start AA and you give up booze with her as she may have a long term problem. Also consider reading no more mr nice guy and the dead bedroom fix before you make any decisions…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 01:50 PM
3

Don’t move out. Get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 06:14 AM
3

I think seeing a couples challenges is easy. But I’ve seen many people I felt were going to divorce not in the end so perhaps you are applying historical bias? But if you’ve this super power maybe you can flip some bits and pick good stocks and make $$$
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 05:24 PM
2

Men’s groups where you get validation by men vs women or just having a buddy, gym time, setting goals even if not executed. I have a business plan for a tap room for example incase I see the right space in an area that will support the vision. My kids are bigger so I don’t worry as much about them but I hope it works out
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 10:21 PM
1

Reminded. Just punch yourself in the junk if you ever think time 3 and that sinking feeling will be a reminder. Divorce is simply ugly and I feel for everyone involved but the lawyers. They’re getting mint on these things and I dislike that…so I think they’re kinda slimy but that’s just my opinion
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 05:34 PM
1

I love that expression!!!! Heard it recently elsewhere. So funny.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 05:33 PM
1

Read the book by dr glover called dating essentials for men. Just put yourself out there even if you’re simply drinking a coffee over a book and you say hi to ppl. You don’t have to date but having conversations is nice
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 10:39 PM
1

If she’s telling stuff about your prior “family” she’s not your current as she’s trashing the history of what you had publicly which should be kept private. Just an opinion and reasoning why I have this one
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 09:22 PM
1

I filed. I kept mine. Ended up stopping the divorce proceedings about 1 month before it was final. I could have tossed ring but didn’t prob for reasons your therapist stated and why you haven’t. Worked ok for me so far to keep it but every relationship is unique as are ppl
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 07:23 PM
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