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View 1 post and 55 comments by Meatros on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
51

Meatros/r/Divorce_Men28/03/21 12:24 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

My suspicion is that it has more to do with her than it does with you. Granted, I'm sure you played a part in it (I'm not saying that to be mean), but a person's threshold for what they can tolerate, accept, struggle through is not going to be the same as yours. And that doesn't make her evil or bad or anything like that. As hard as it is, you need to accept it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:42 PM
0

I would talk to my lawyer before I did anything. Your STBXW is unstable. She hit you and lied about your abuse. Get your divorce out of the way, physically separate, and then tell the other guy's wife. She has a right to know that the person she's married to is not actually the person she thinks he is. It's not about revenge, it's about basic human decency.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 03:02 PM
1

Force you to get 50/50? Brother that is a blessing. Right? That was my primary concern when I divorced. I lost the house, but ultimately it was worth it. What I couldn't lose was my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 02:23 PM
1

I have that inclination - Poe's Law and all - however, I've known of some guys who are eerily similar to OP.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 02:22 PM
3

Yup, they're in poverty, and OP is fine with it - he's a fucking scumbag.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 12:59 PM
8

In 2020 she made me move out, she said the years of me cheating had messed her up so much she could not function doing basic tasks. Damn, you traumatized her. I feel bad for her. She refuses to talk to me, she always has the kids ready but wont give me her phone number and rarely replied to my emails. Good for her. After what you did, you should try to have minimal contact with her, for her sake - just talk about child support and custody. That's it. Last summer I started paying her child suppor…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 12:38 PM
5

Dude, you're chasing fantasy comparisons. Finding someone you click with is difficult - I think you're doing the right thing. You're having conversations and trying to find someone that fits. That's difficult. As to your ex, just ignore her. Who gives a sturdy shit what she's doing? Certainly, you shouldn't. I was on dating sites, not finding anyone I cared to know, and in the mean time I actually stumbled upon a discord server (spawned from a Subreddit), where I met my fiancé. I wasn't on that …
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 05:45 PM
6

Breaks are for video games, not relationships. You either breakup/divorce or you work through it. In any event, it can definitely get nasty. If you think she’s amicable, then hire a mediator to do up divorcé documentation. It’s a lot cheaper & less contentious.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 10:51 AM
7

Sorry man, but cheaters gonna cheat. If she says it's because of the alcohol, then you're giving her a ready-made excuse. She'd cheat regardless of alcohol. Poor morals are poor morals.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:05 PM
4

You have to work on yourself. Get into therapy to figure out why you don't have integrity. Read books that will help you (Cheating in a Nutshell, Not Just Friends, etc.). You have to figure out why you felt entitled to abuse your partner - why you didn't value them as a person enough to care about their mental stability. Once you have that figured out you can make sure you don't do that to future partners. It's only through actions, not baseless words, that you'll actually change.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 03:02 PM
2

They want to be friends because they feel guilty. If you are 'friends' with them then they feel that it's a sort of atonement. What they did 'couldn't be that bad' if you've remained friends with them. They're trash.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 01:59 PM
1

I totally agree.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 10:41 AM
1

Get your divorce handled- that's your top priority. If you really want to tell her then talk to your lawyer first. I firmly believe that his wife should know, after all, he's abusing her through cheating/gaslighting, but you're currently drowning with the divorce and until you get yourself a life jacket (once the divorce is done) you don't need any waves coming at you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 08:58 PM
7

I don't really see my divorce as a 'choice', really. I mean, I pushed for it and I did choose it. I see it as a necessary step to get away from the abuse that my ex wife was putting on me. I had two options: Stay in a marriage that was deteriorating and have that modeled for the kids, accepting the abuse and damage to my mental well being. Divorce and do my best to raise the kids when I had them. I chose option 2. When I don't have the kids I'm doing what I can to better myself. If that means ta…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/21 03:12 PM
0

I guess I'm an outlier. I initiated the separation and the divorce. I have 50% custody of my kids. I pay about 2% of my income. I have the kids 50% of the time, a week at a time. My ex wife works, I don't pay alimony. I wouldn't anyway since she was at fault for the divorce. She didn't make abuse allegations although it seemed she was gearing up to do that because I was upset at her and texted her. She took that as me being out of my mind. I've heard about 60% but yeah, they aren't great odds. A…
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 04:31 PM
3

Push the pedal on the gas as hard as you can - expedite the divorce process Agreed. I think the impulse to reconcile is an attempt to get things 'back to normal'. The longer things go on the more you have time to think and realize just how awful you've been treated. If she can break her marriage vows then nothing is sacred and you'll never be able to trust her. My lawyer actually told me not to eat anything she prepares...Because you never know...Once she's shown you that she has no morals, then…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/21 02:32 PM
1

This. One of the reasons I didn't fight for the house is because I knew it would be absolutely painful to continue to live in. It's a nice place so if I could get past that then it would be a great place to live. Trouble is the memories.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 02:57 PM
2

Having morals & integrity is not ‘feminist shit’.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 06:38 PM
12

So recently, things haven't been great between me and my wife. she found out I was attracted to her sister and had sex with her best friend. I know I am an asshole. How do you make your wife interested in you again? Reading this, my advice is you don't. If you really care about her (doubtful) then let her find someone who values and appreciates her. Now, I somehow feel like I deserve better, just because she keeps reminding me how she helped me in the past, which is very demining. While, she has…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 11:21 AM
2

She did; she broke her vows and then lied to me incessantly. After hearing her talk to her AP, after knowing who she truly was, she left me the choice of 'being used' or divorce. I chose divorce because I knew I couldn't fake a marriage with such an abuser. It's been over a year and I feel like I've woken up - I look back and see just how much of a shitty partner she was. She would nit pick all sorts of shit and she never appreciated anything. I would clean and she would bitch that I wasn't clea…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/21 03:05 PM
2

Mine did not, however a friend of mine got divorced around the same time and she claimed that it empowered her. She also came out of the woodwork with all these claims that he forced her to do things, which was absurd. He's not the easiest person to put up with and I would back her claims with regard to some of his behaviors, but she claimed he forced her to learn to ride a motorcycle and taking karate. Neither of which were true.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 03:01 PM
6

Eh this is sometimes true. I'm not sure my ex has a 'true' face. She just has a 'current people she's lying to', face. She lied to me for five years, I got free from her abuse, and now she's lying to the kids. The divorce was fairly amicable, to be honest.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/21 12:15 PM
1

I would not get in the middle of his relationship with his mom. Be there for him, get him what he needs, and support him however you can. Don't make him choose sides. Here's the thing, people's actions tell you who they are. Their words might paper over their deeds for a little bit but eventually their actions will tell who they are. My ex plays the victim as well. She cheated on me and that was the reason for our divorce. I did not tell the kids this because I'm not going to get in the way of t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/21 03:29 PM
22

My ex wife didn't say he was a great guy but she did say he changed. She said that he's a child of divorce so he will know how to handle and help our kids. To date he has not said squat to them, nor met them, or anything of the sort. He's the same alcoholic immoral loser he's always been. You can't make good wine out of bad grapes and he's bad grapes. A guy who is willing to insert himself into a family and wreck that family is not a good guy. Such a guy is an egotistical scumbag who has no inte…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/21 02:51 PM
2

I get it and I agree with requiring it if you are attempting reconciling. ​ From my experience and from the vast amount of experiences that I've read, reconciliation is extremely rare - it requires a cheater who is actually remorseful and not just guilty. One that actually wants to change and does so through action. If they were that type of person they most likely wouldn't have cheated to begin with.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/21 04:05 PM
8

saw plenty of stories where they won’t even sleep with their spouse because that’s “cheating” on the AP! My ex did that. the best route to confront the cheater with two doors. one door is a post-nup, the other is divorce papers. staying with a cheater without a post-nup is almost guaranteeing it’ll happen again. Eh, I'd say that staying with a post-nup is no real guarantee that it won't happen again. True, it will protect you, but the problem with the cheater is one of character and morals.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/21 01:47 PM
4

The religious stuff aside, it's true. The reality is that someone engaged in infidelity does not love the person they are cheating on. They are actively abusing that person and using them for resources. It's debatable whether they love the affair partner - most often they love the persona that the affair partner imbues in them - it's all about them. Egoism at the expense of traumatizing all those involved. If she's cheating......it would take a divine miracle to make it back. The toothpaste isn'…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/21 01:45 PM
1

it's on the same level as losing a child or a spouse. It feels like she died, for sure. In her place is a doppelganger who feels no attachment to me or our family. Definitely true.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/21 01:53 PM
1

So why do you want out? I mean, is it something that the two of you can work on? If you are done, truly done, then pursue the divorce. It benefits no one to limp along in a relationship you don't want to be in.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/21 02:55 PM
1

My mentality is that once you get married you've made a commitment. That doesn't mean staying together regardless of what happens, but what that means is that you give a genuine effort at staying together. For me that means, at a minimum, Marriage Counseling. You have a kid in the mix as well. So I would definitely give counseling a shot before getting divorced. ​ (Note: this regards most marital problems, abuse is present then I advocate divorce)
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/21 04:59 PM
1

Agreed - a marriage can only recover if the cheater takes full accountability. What seems to typically happen in reconciliation is that the cheating is papered over and rug swept. Leading to cheating in the future and not dealing with the fundamental problem of the lack of integrity and how the cheater views her partner.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/21 08:25 PM
1

You can't change a person, how they come must work for you or else you are delaying the inevitable. Good luck Agreed and thank you. I think it comes down to how a person views other people. Cheaters tend to view others as useful or not. How can person X make me happy or whatever. I don't think cheaters fully value other people, especially their partners.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/21 08:21 PM
3

Thanks. I wish you well, too. She did take me for granted. Definitely. She treated me like shit and took me for granted in those last five years. The thing is, even when she changed I could tell that she was trying to appear 'less bad' and more 'remorseful' so that she didn't have to feel guilty when getting with her AP. She's fairly transparent in that respect. I've met a new woman and it's night and day, truthfully. I realize just how much I put up with from my ex and I truly appreciate my new…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/21 05:55 PM
2

I thought about it a little more the issue with marriage counseling is also that it presents the idea that both parties are at fault and therefore the marriage as a whole should be examined. But that's not actually true as I mentioned earlier. One person had the fault with the morals/integrity. So focusing on the marriage as a whole is rug sweeping, essentially. If there were legitimate issues with the marriage those can only be focused on AFTER the infidelity has been worked through (if it can …
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/21 05:51 PM
3

Oh Jeez, three years of legal bullshit? I can't even imagine. That is a nightmare. I'm sure you just want a clean break. That's all I really wanted. Marriage Counseling really is a lost cause. I tried it too. The problem is that the marriage was not broken by two people, it was broken by one person who lost their integrity. You can't reason someone into being a good person through marriage counseling, so it's a waste of time and money.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/21 12:19 PM
3

This seems to fit with what happened to me. He was her 'first' (in High School) and then when she reached out to him, he started hitting on her and stroking her ego. They developed an emotional affair for 2-3 years before anything physical happened. I only heard a few conversations of their but it was clear to me that she was overly invested in the relationship. He was clearly not in it for the long term. He just wanted a fuck buddy and she was taking any and every crumb he put forward and trans…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/21 10:48 PM
2

To be completely fair to her, after it was clear that I was divorcing her it did seem that she started to realize just exactly how damaging what she had done was. ​ Looking back it's almost like she didn't believe me or something and then when I had given up the idea that the marriage could be saved and I pursued divorce only then did she realize that she'd killed the marriage. It's very strange. Almost like I was dealing with two different people.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/21 10:40 PM
2

I've just recently finished my divorce - in my state it takes a year (well, a year +). I went on a few dates and wasn't really clicking with anyone. I was talking with a woman - just friends - who lived out of state. We clicked really well. We have similar morals and are both low maintenance type people. So we've decided to see where this will go and we've started dating. She has a kid (and I have 2) and I think that does make a difference. She's also independent. We align on important life rela…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/21 12:18 PM
1

I'd dealt with gaslighting, her basically calling my whole family names. Calling them the scum of the earth alot of things, no one should have to deal with. To the point where I avoided letting her know I talked to them at all. As if she found out, it was every and any bad thing she could make up about them, or that she'd say they were saying about her. Serious paranoia.. (my family/parents are one of the most understanding ones, I've ever met. like ridiculously so, other kids/college/adult frie…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 06:59 PM
1

I can somewhat relate to that. My ex would pick on me incessantly and make me feel as though everything were my fault. I would put more into the marriage and she would put less. I would the bulk of the house work and she'd sit there and complain about it. I was struggling and going through a bad time and she was cruel. I had hints of this before. She told me a story of a prior boyfriend. She got into a fight with him and he was crying. She made fun of him for that. That should have been a red fl…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 05:20 PM
1

yeah, well she's the one who asked for the divorce. And apparently had been planning it for 2+ years, a ex friend of hers emailed me copies of letters(the friend liked me more then her) where she detailed out that she was going to divorce me. Keep the kids, and have me pay for the house and all her bills. Ran up credit cards, and all sorts to make sure I would be loaded with debt. Jesus what is wrong with people? If you fall out of love, fine, but what do they have to fuck over their partner?? A…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 04:27 PM
1

A week after that she brought a guy into my house with me and the kids here. Ugh that's shit behavior on her part. She was trying to mask the pain with attention/sex. I expect to be mostly fd over, ex says it isn't about the money, it's about fairness.. But whenever I say this is what I've got, and what I can do. It's about how much her parents put into the house.. (her dad helped me reno the house 6years ago, physically) and that she has to have an 3rd person appraisal.. Which I've said fine.. …
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 02:49 PM
1

That being said adultery I would have been out of there and divorce as fast as the law allowed. Yup. Even so, I would have given reconciliation a try, at first - but she was so wrapped up in it that she gave me a chance to process what she'd done and who she actually was. She just wouldn't stop and I realized that she didn't care whether or not I suffered. In fact, she kept asking me for time - as though 5 years were not enough, as though my suffering meant nothing. She was just a cake eater, pl…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 02:21 PM
1

That's complete shit man. I'm sorry. In my state (VA) adultery is cause for divorce and my lawyer told me that it could garner you up to 60% of the marital assets and null alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 12:38 PM
2

Such is the way of an adulterous woman; She eats, wipes her mouth, and says "I've done nothing wrong." That is true. My ex's entitlement was palpable. She literally felt entitled to abusing me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 01:52 AM
1

I do not mean to criticize you in any way. I too have tried to salvage a dead relationship. I didn't take it that way. She had already shown you by her actions how horrible a person she was, but you didn't believe it until you heard it from her own mouth. Yes, very true. I'm not sure what sort of vision I was laboring under (maybe just denial?) prior to hearing it from her mouth. Too many men get cheated on but still see their spouses as if they were still the woman they married. Yup, and I get …
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 01:44 AM
1

Ugh, sorry man. That absolutely sucks. In my case we each kept our own debt and 401ks and all that. So that was good. Hopefully your process wraps up soon. I'm wishing you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 01:38 AM
1

They do get better. I've struggled a bit since I separated but even among all the pain I knew I was doing the right thing. My piece of mind is intact. I have some friends who are married, where one of the partner's cheated. She told me that it never comes fully back - that it can be 'acceptable' but not good. She would have left if they didn't have kids together. I think that holds a lot of people back. I can understand that. When the kids found out about the divorce that was the most painful th…
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 01:27 AM
2

Affairs reveal the ugly souls of those who betray their partners. It is utterly impossible to reconcile with an unrepentant cheating wife/girlfriend. I agree with this. It's truly heinous to take deliberate action you know that will hurt the person you claim to care about the most. That's what a cheater does - often times repeatedly. I recommend immediately terminating the relationship so the man can save his self-esteem and self-respect. Ultimately I agree with this, but it's more difficult in …
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 01:23 AM
3

I can't say that it's always best to dump the person, but it was in my case. She was not remorseful and, well, being frank, I doubt she ever could be and I would suffer as a result. I'm not trying to live my life like that. Looking back I put up with a lot of shit from her - insane shit. She would start fights over which lane of traffic I was driving in (no bullshit, that happened more than once). Her affair partner is welcome to that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/21 01:15 AM
3

Thanks. I didn’t think I’d be happy again, especially not so soon.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/21 09:56 PM
10

Her mother died 5 years ago & her father isn’t in her life. Her sister cried & said I was like a brother to her. Our mutual friends stopped talking to my ex. My family can’t believe her. Her sisters/cousins basically sided with her, not that I’m surprised. They’ve all cheated in their past too, so they likely just see it as normal - or perhaps they think they’re entitled to abuse their partners as my ex did with me. I dunno.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/21 03:39 PM
11

I have to pay child support - but we make about the same (I make a bit more). So it comes out to about $150 a month. We have 50/50 custody. The kids were hurt at first, but kind of suspected it. They’re doing good now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/21 02:44 PM
19

Right? Holy shit some people are just soul-less users with no empathy.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/08/20 09:01 PM
73

Those are some dumb people.
/r/PussyPassDenied07/03/17 07:59 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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