MedFu Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	How much is your child support? 500/week for 2 kids plus health insurance on my paycheck.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/22 01:31 AM
1	Michigan school and daycare pickup: who is able to be authorized for pickup? Then do what you can. During your time. You have 50/50. If it was dangerous she wouldn’t have 50%. You can’t control who she dates. Like i said if you want to try to make this a stipulation you can try. It’ll cost you a couple grand in court and you’ll prob lose. And if you win then you must follow the same stipulation.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/06/22 07:40 PM
2	Michigan school and daycare pickup: who is able to be authorized for pickup? You can try. And then you better never have anyone else pick up the kids from school. Ever. Not a grandparent. Not a new SO. No one. Legally there’s no difference from an SO picking up and a grandparent. Both fall into the category of “not parent”. When they get married he becomes a “household member” legally which does change it yes. I suggest you stop being so vengeful and angry and learn to accept your new reality that’s best for the kids.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/06/22 06:39 PM
2	My GF is very hot and cold. Sometimes she is very sweet...but other times controlling. I've been with her for 10+ years and she wants to get married and have kids. Was anyone else in a similar situation before they got married? You already have one child (her). Adding another won’t help. I’m not saying she has borderline. But she sounds like shes a bit borderline. But without the borderline amazing sex benefits.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/22 04:55 AM
1	Do the days matter? Your heart is in the right place. I went through the same thought process. 2 years later I’m sooooo glad I have a set schedule based on alternating weekends. We move stuff here and there but the weekend evenings are the best. If I’m off during the week I get extra time. If I have to work on weekend we either shift or she takes them during the day. But I know the weekends are mine. I know what the schedule is. When I can make plans with others. When I can plan trips with the kids and other events…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 01:04 PM
1	Do the days matter? Yes it’s 50:50 You get every Monday Tuesday (2) She gets every wed/thurs (2) And you guys each get every other weekend (fri/sat/sun plus your Mon/Tues = 5 then her Wed/Thurs plus the next F/Sa/Su = 5)	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 12:11 PM
1	Do the days matter? 2/2/5/5 with you taking Monday Tuesday is the best option. You can then trade as needed. Trade a Wednesday for a Saturday. But the default protects you. You want the default to protect you. So when all breaks down you are protected.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 11:25 AM
3	Do the days matter? Look I’m trying to help you and you’re being intentionally obtuse and not listening to the advice you are asking for. Leaving Sunday morning for a trip and coming home monday is not the same as leaving Friday and coming back Sunday or Monday. Not even close. I’m saying voluntarily giving up your weekends, in writing, is not a good idea. Set in stone that you have the weekends. Then you can change it to what you are doing now if you both agree. But if you don’t and you want your weekends, you hav…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 10:21 AM
1	Do the days matter? Good luck. When you want to take a weekend trip somewhere and you can’t dont come complaining here.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 10:12 AM
2	Do the days matter? Well I assume youre a night nurse. You could work Fri/Sat/Sun night one week then Tues/Wed/Thurs/Fri days the next week and then go back. Or you could work 2-2-5-5 and still do all nights. Wow that wasn’t so hard and you get more hours AND more money out of it. Union contract? Then choose another hospital without it. There are plenty. I know plenty of people who work 12s 7 on/7 off. This isn’t even addressing the dubious circumstances of your divorce decree you keep repeating that seem really st…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 10:11 AM
1	Do the days matter? Read my other comment. It’s not about her free time. It’s about you never getting a weekend night with your kids, ever. How is a trip to the zoo on Saturday more valuable than a trip on Tuesday? Because you can’t go on Tuesday because they are in school. You clearly don’t want advice. Just validation.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 10:03 AM
1	Do the days matter? I mean, you could change your work schedule. Pro tip: that’s what I choose to do.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 09:45 AM
1	Do the days matter? Honestly, I think it’s better for the kids to feel at home in your home and be able to spend a full weekend in your home every other weekend. Even if a sitter is watching them. If they are spending more time with mom at moms home then your home starts to feel like a trip and not home. Like I said you have to plan this for when they start school. Because the decree isn’t going to change. If it’s your weekend and you have to work, you offer them to mom. She can say yes or no. If no you get a sitte…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 09:33 AM
2	Do the days matter? Happy and rejuvenated parents create happy and joyous child time. Never having any free time to yourselves means you can’t be present when you DO have the kids as you will start to try and jam your personal free time stuff in during your kid time. You’ll get less sleep and be irritable and short when you have the kids. You have to fill your own cup too.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 09:27 AM
1	Do the days matter? You do what you have to do to make it work. But it doesn’t make it best for the kids. If there’s no alternative sure. But if there is it’s better to split the weekends.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 08:22 AM
1	Do the days matter? You’re asking for no weekends. That’s insane. You’ll never have a full day with them once they start school. And look, you are either asking for advice or validation. You asked if the days matter. The answer is: yes the days matter. Weekends matter in America and for kids especially. Whether it matters enough for you and your situation is something only you can decide. It looks like you’re just looking for validation.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 08:20 AM
2	Do the days matter? You are proposing 3-3-4-4. M/T/W dad then Th/F/Sa mom Su/M/T/W dad then Th/F/Sa/Su mom Your heart is in the right place but reality doesn’t live there. The days do matter. You need to have every other weekend. The kids need to split weekends with the parents. They might not be in school yet, but your divorce decree will still be valid when they are. And then you will no longer “have time with them” on “my days off” because they will be in school. And she will have every weekend and you will have…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/22 05:16 AM
2	What are the things that can reduce or eliminate alimony? Alimony has nothing to do with walking away with half of everything.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/05/22 03:33 AM
1	coparenting ban I got banned from that sub for my comments “being aggressive”. I asked when and they said “several times” and muted me. The mods of that sub are a joke. It should be r/momgetstomakeallthedecisionsandcontroleverything	/r/Divorce_Men	14/05/22 03:05 AM
3	How hard do you push for 50/50 when it’s not the default? Everyone on Reddit who says it’s their hill to die on didn’t have to die on it. Only one person posting didn’t get it and he said it’s not the hill to die on. Everyone else got it with very little fight. Only you know your situation. Your ex. And your kids. I suspect you are in Indiana or similar? Really your county of jurisdiction matters a lot. More red counties are more likely to side with mom. There are trade offs too that can go either way. My lawyer told me as boys, they will naturally wan…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/05/22 01:39 AM
1	How do you calculate your parenting time with shared custody? Just be kind. I get where she’s coming from bc I was that person in the beginning too. I’ve wised up now. I wasn’t trying to match another parenting schedule but I was letting my now ex gf dictate terms with my communications with ex wife. Not great. Eventually I had to reign that in but it was a struggle on my end to wrestle back that control and it took over a year and a breakup to do it. You will be interacting with your ex wife for the rest of your life. It’s ok to put your foot down and sta…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/22 11:52 AM
2	How do you calculate your parenting time with shared custody? It’ll even out in the end. Just take the L. It’s ok. You’ll get a Father’s Day here and there. Or thanksgiving extra. Or a birthday. Or spring break. It all evens out in the end. Next time she asks for extra time repeat what she said to you. Maybe she will get the hint. Truthfully she and I were both like this for a couple years and it’s awful. We both wised up and it’s a lot better now. If extra days work they work if they don’t they don’t. We both have shit to do without them too so we do a lo…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/22 02:11 AM
2	Alone time with kids She’s abusing you. Read that again. This is emotional abuse. She’s GUILT TRIPPING you. It’s subtle. We often put up with it. It seems all nicey nice. But it’s not. It’s fucking abuse. This is some grade A BS. My ex gf got between me and my son one time and we broke up. ONE TIME. He was anxious and sad and I told her I could tell he needed some dad time and she said “it feels like you don’t want me around”. That specific interaction led to the breakup but it represented a constant guilt trip. A f…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/04/22 05:53 AM
3	Should I delete pics of my wife? I second putting them on a hard drive or usb stick somewhere. You don’t want to delete your past. It’s your past and it’s part of who you are. You will look back fondly at those memories some day. It’s been 2 years for me and I’m considering putting her pictures BACK into my phone for the memories. Specifically the ones of us and the kids. The kids will want them some day for sure.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/04/22 05:35 PM
3	How to help my wife with stepmother role Look bud, you may have wasted x years but it could be many more. Time to end this marriage. I ended things with my ex gf for many reasons but this was right at the top of the list. We were together for 2 years after my separation. Kids loved her. She loved them. But she hated my ex wife. HATED. And you know what? That wasn’t changing and the ex wife isn’t going away. Who do you think kids will want at thanksgiving when they host it when they are adults? Oh yea, mom and dad. You think that’s gonn…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/22 04:16 AM
3	How to help my wife with stepmother role I’m going to post a longer comment under the main post but Who is anyone to tell YOU when YOU are going to watch and care for YOUR kids??????? Fuck that. Wife or not. They are YOUR Kids. YOU make the decision to take them. Don’t ask your wife. You tell her. They are YOUR KIDS.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/03/22 04:10 AM
4	Would you tell your kids why? I would let them ask why. Otherwise it’s a mutual decision and you both love them very much. It will get better with time. I promise.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/03/22 02:00 AM
6	Would you tell your kids why? Only if they ask and only if they are old enough. And that usually means you have enough time to process everything yourself. My ex wife had an egregious affair and if they ask some day I will tell them. But I have learned in 2 years my part in the marriage failing (though I take no responsibility for the affair). So I could be fair now. But I couldn’t have been fair 2 years ago. And that’s not ok.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/03/22 01:56 AM