~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 2 | Determining home buyout amountThe term for saying you’ll take the offer if she doesn’t is called a shotgun deal. Only later did I find out the reason she denied a very fair deal on a part that I would have happily taken is that she didn’t know that terms and thought it was a bad/aggressive thing and that I was trying to screw her. So maybe don’t use the correct terminology with her lol. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/23 04:25 PM |
| 1 | Woman I met said we have to be exclusive to have sexwhat are you going to catch that a quick trip to the doctor can’t fix? it’s 2023. do you still wear a mask too? risk/reward ratio guys. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/23 02:02 AM |
| 1 | Wife had a 3 year affair with my brother!i pray to god this is a trolling post. otherwise i think its the most horrific thing i’ve ever seen on here and that sure is saying a lot | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/23 10:51 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts on 6 y/o left home alone?you can’t be serious…. that is WAY too far on the other side of the pendulum. I leave my 9 year old for a few hours no problem - she’s on her phone, there’s neighbors, etc. 12 is some serious helicoptering and isn’t going to instill an early sense of independence | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/23 02:21 AM |
| 1 | Wife came out as lesbian, getting divorced and crushedguess it was just the wrong kind of bi | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/23 04:25 AM |
| 1 | Wife came out as lesbian, getting divorced and crushedthis is the best worst advice out there. and it took my almost the identical length of time to realize it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/23 04:23 AM |
| 1 | Wife came out as lesbian, getting divorced and crushedBut first you will read every book and go down every echo chamber convincing yourself we weren’t mean to be a monogamous species and that polyamory is how things should be and you and your relationship are, ironically, evolved enough to handle it. you’re not. it’s not. it sounds good on the paper you’re reading it on (you get what i mean but we have to compromise now with our analogies. or maybe similes) but it is not practical. and even if you two could pull it off you will eventually push away… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/23 04:21 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone tried antidepressants?almost everything has a black box warning for something. the part your missing isn’t all the suicides and mass shootings you see because of them, it’s the ones that didn’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/23 06:09 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone tried antidepressants?People aren’t seeming to understand this. You can’t just try one thing - say it made you sick - and because it wasn’t the best fit declare all others useless. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/23 07:42 PM |
| 0 | Has anyone tried antidepressants?These all sound likely highly informed and well researched conclusions. Your knowledge of clinical depression radiated through. I’ll send all the ones who off themselves thinking this is good advice your way. It’ll be a lot of bodies to bury. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/23 07:39 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone’s wife come back?I’ve never made a woman cum in my entire life..? Do you know that because you were next to her on all fours while I fucked you both and then had a chat about it after during the self care phase? It’s a little hazy… but that night is starting to come back to me now…. you’re the one I made beg for my dick…. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/23 08:10 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone’s wife come back?Yeah like I said, not to minimize your experience. Which is exactly the point - the numbers have nothing to do with it, they’re all just in different proportions. It’s the EXPERIENCE that is universal. I’ve had a long time to process this - It was far from a surprise - and yet still I wonder at night what I did to deserve this. How is someone I’ve known longer than I haven’t able to treat me this way? I’ve never liked the response “don’t let her rent space inside your head”. It misses the point.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/23 08:07 PM |
| 2 | Has anyone’s wife come back?Wow - thanks man. You took a lot of time to on that, and I’ve had very, very few perspectives on the situation let alone an actual different one. Internet strangers come through again. Well, once. I think you are right on a lot of levels. Obviously i’ve been aware of the change in emotional connection, and I think for at least the first 15 years, that connection absolutely existed for her. We traveled around the world for over a year together when we were 30, we were thick as thieves. I guess I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/23 04:06 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone’s wife come back?After 24 years decided to switch to the other team. I say decided because nobody has sex with dudes for 30 years and then all of a sudden is grossed out by dick. We had really good sex and right ip until the end. No dead bedroom. I also pushed pretty hard for 3some’s over the years (one good thing about it all is I very much got my way in the “discovery” phase) and she would talk about how much she would love to but she just can’t get into sex with a woman. Lesbians are grossed out by dick from … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/23 02:25 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone’s wife come back?Lol was gonna say. Didn’t want to minimize the experience, but you can add a few zeros to that 20k when all is said and done. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/23 02:18 AM |
| 2 | Just a month in...There were a lot of words here and I didn’t read them all, but in our day and age it’s unacceptable not to have access to proper broadband. It has literally become a basic right. offer to pay for a satellite link - they are much better now. then just route iphone/ipad to make wi-fi calls and not celluar | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/23 06:50 PM |
| 2 | My soon to be ex is a stay at home…she wants to keep the very expensive house which is solely under my name since she can’t afford it for roughly 7 years until she can refinance it under her name…would you do it? We have several kids and she says I owe it to them since I destroyed our marriage.EDIT: I just realized something is off about this post. He either has a loan at an impossible rate, or has so much equity this would never be a post. and how the hell do you have a home that expensive with a 3k mortgage? you either found a bank to give you a 0.05% loan, or you own it almost outright. even if you’re only talking just the interest and not principal and interest you wouldn’t be able to have more than a 1 million dollar loan even if you locked in at the 2.8% lowest rates ever went. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/23 02:00 AM |
| 2 | My soon to be ex is a stay at home…she wants to keep the very expensive house which is solely under my name since she can’t afford it for roughly 7 years until she can refinance it under her name…would you do it? We have several kids and she says I owe it to them since I destroyed our marriage.I’m assuming anyone smart enough to afford a nice home in a nice neighborhood already knows to hire a nice (expensive) lawyer. But, he’s asking for advice before (i’m assuming based around his lack of understanding what a misdemeanor is) actually talking to one. i find this baffling each and every time i see it. my interpretation of this sub has always been about the advice a lawyer can’t give you. at least not for free. it’s where guys come to vent, get a pick me up, told by every single commen… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/23 01:40 AM |
| 2 | My soon to be ex is a stay at home…she wants to keep the very expensive house which is solely under my name since she can’t afford it for roughly 7 years until she can refinance it under her name…would you do it? We have several kids and she says I owe it to them since I destroyed our marriage.the baller move would be to let it get foreclosed on, and then find someone that understands how auctions on the courthouse steps work (you’ll already know the house and not have to worry about taking on unknown risk so you can go higher than the lowball bids who do) and get the house back for half of what you sell it for. She gets nothing and you get what she bought you out for plus it all right back in new equity when you use what you got to buy it back at half the price and have no mortgage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/23 01:33 AM |
| 6 | My soon to be ex is a stay at home…she wants to keep the very expensive house which is solely under my name since she can’t afford it for roughly 7 years until she can refinance it under her name…would you do it? We have several kids and she says I owe it to them since I destroyed our marriage.Yeah I’m not seeing why the assault is even anywhere NEAR his thinking and decision making. he now has a misdemeanor and that’s that. This should longer be a factor AT ALL. and trust me, you owe her nothing. and the more you give is the more she’ll take. go skim No More Mr Nice Guy. Can you maybe explain how you destroyed the marriage when you caught her cheating on you and not the other way around? Even tho i’m almost always the type to say fuck what people think, this case might be a rare exce… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/23 01:26 AM |
| 4 | Considering suicide. Divorce destroyed my life.Look at couples and be happy you’re not one. Each and every one you see has pain in their future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/23 04:53 PM |
| 1 | Considering suicide. Divorce destroyed my life.countless studies show that making around 80k is peak happiness. everything over that tends to complicate peoples lives more than it’s worth. anything under that requires making sacrifices. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/23 04:52 PM |
| 4 | Considering suicide. Divorce destroyed my life.I pay 22k/yr on property taxes. they are insane where i live and i hate living here so there’s even extra sting. but i’m basically being held hostage because we have 3 kids and she will never move. she’s 5th generation in a boom/bust city, so it’s practically unheard of. it makes my kids 6th which is truly never heard of. so hear i am. for the next 10 years. paying that tax cause I kept the house. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/23 04:48 PM |
| 2 | What is the scientific name for when a woman rewrites history in her mind?I don’t think this got the credit it deserves. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/04/23 04:55 PM |
| 1 | Letting it all outNot This | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/23 09:41 PM |
| 1 | How to move your money secretly?true. was headed home from work and not thinking. only the lawyer will have a copy of the check scanned into his bank account. So yeah, I’ll do it for 4%. But you do still show the money coming OUT of the account, and who that check was written to, so you wouldn’t be able to get away with it for long. You could regularly overpay legit bills like utilities that send you a check and not a credit for the refund tho. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/23 04:08 AM |
| 1 | How to move your money secretly?you’ve still got a cashed check for $4700 in the statements. you may as well have just written yourself a check for $5000 and not lost the $300 | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/23 07:35 PM |
| 1 | has anyone broke down in front of there wifeshe is monkey branching and that branch broke. you’re just around until she can reach a different branch. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/23 11:10 PM |
| 1 | has anyone broke down in front of there wifeto comment on myself, the majority of the work you will be doing in moving on is unwrapping that co-dependence, not allowing her to keep you in it (and thus continue to maintain hers), and not transfer it onto someone else. That’s why common wisdom is to not date for quite awhile. you may FEEL ready to, but that’s the problem. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/23 11:08 PM |
| 1 | has anyone broke down in front of there wifeif you are breaking down in front of your wife, you are co-dependent by default. just like when you ask your therapist if you are a narcissist they will tell you that because you asked that question you are not one by default. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/23 11:07 PM |
| 1 | has anyone broke down in front of there wifethey can have feelings to their moms and their therapists. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/23 11:05 PM |
| 1 | has anyone broke down in front of there wifeIt was not ok. the balance of power shifted more towards her. and as was said, counterintuitively, they don’t want the power. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/23 11:02 PM |
| 3 | has anyone broke down in front of there wifeSadly this is true. The more desperate you seem the less respect they have for you and the easier it is for them to leave. This theory can be proven (as it proves out in my own separation ) that the more boundaries i put up, and the shorter the replies I start giving her, the more she lets hers down and the more she communicates better with me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/23 11:00 PM |
| 1 | It is time - Not sure how to tell wife of over 25 yearsi’ve made a few other replies to your comments, but in just looking at the overall picture of your situation, i’m struck by a dissonance between your aloofness and your guilt. it’s on the one hand there’s an aloof arrogance as to what this will ACTUALLY truly mean about the impact on your life - it’s a fuck ton more than ordering up a new car and an airbnb while you await your chateau’s completion - discordant from what is an unusually blatant acknowledgment of guilt. the two seem mutually exclu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/23 06:07 AM |
| 1 | It is time - Not sure how to tell wife of over 25 yearsan odd twist about the drinking. wasn’t mentioned before, but it’s not typical to shut down around an alcoholic in a long term relationship, it’s more typical to confront them. is this the first time she’s ever expressed a problem with your drinking? Surely than couldn’t have just come from out of the blue? DO you have a problem? at our age and in our demographic it’s much more common to be aware you are a high functioning alcoholic than not being aware you drink too much. I know I drink what is… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/23 05:57 AM |
| 0 | It is time - Not sure how to tell wife of over 25 yearsnot everyone is built that way. some of us have dog eared copies of the rational male, but some of us still feel it’s their purpose in life to devote themselves to the person they said their vows until death to. (don’t worry OP - you won’t still feel that way once you find out what her counter salvo is going to be). Don’t be so sure her scrappy underestimated ukrainian military can’t still take a bite out of your big ass russian military and cause a lot of pain and embarrassment. or that every o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/23 10:07 PM |
| 3 | It is time - Not sure how to tell wife of over 25 yearsyour mistake was using beer and pizza in your analogy. having a gun pointed to my head would only make it taste that much better. mmmmmm pizzaaaa | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/23 09:59 PM |
| 3 | It is time - Not sure how to tell wife of over 25 yearsDon’t be too cavalier about money not being a problem. That has been the case with myself and some other commenters in here. It can end up making things a LOT more difficult and prolonged. Even when being generous and playing fair, she’s going to be pissed off beyond words at what you’ve done and you can throw your concept of fair out the window. I’ve said in the past that no matter HOW much money you have, the lifestyle you once knew is going to change. So if you’re poor that might mean sleepin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/23 09:54 PM |
| 1 | It is time - Not sure how to tell wife of over 25 yearsjust based on the amount of guilt OP expressed in the original post parallel living is out. how’s he going to feel when, at 50 and financially well off, it’s a pussy free for all with basically any aged woman, especially given he’s extroverted and likes to socialize. the guilt knowing he’s still married will cripple most of the point of this change. i do think it can work for people that were in open marriages and have reigned in guilt and jealousy issues, but don’t want to deal with the physica… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/23 09:31 PM |
| 1 | Filing from the Couple that "had it all."you’ll never conflict out every good lawyer. it would take you every minute of every day and still wouldn’t be done in time. you could pay a bunch of people to be you, give them a rough script, and knock out a good chunk that way. But it only takes one for her to find and like. so the odds are not in your favor. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 11:20 PM |
| 1 | Filing from the Couple that "had it all."off topic here - but are you top tier air france to fly La Premiere? I fly their biz class a lot SFO - CDG but it’s not even available to buy or use points. and i never see anyone ever in it, given there are 4 seats. and also, seems like you have way less privacy - sure they are longer, but biz is already full lie flat and all blocked out for privacy. not saying i wouldn’t take it - just curious your experience flying it. And yes, those of us with money who can hire a lawyer have an advantage, b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 05:59 PM |
| 1 | New guyas is said at least daily in here, read the rational male. it will absolutely assure you that this guy is just “juggling plates” with her and 1) banging her because she’s young and 2) is also banging other chicks. any other reason to get involved with a woman with kids, particularly this close in, means he’s a chump and he’s the beta raising your children because your wife viewed you as the alpha. she just doesn’t need an alpha anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 02:39 AM |
| 2 | New guymy wife left me for a woman (half her age) and decided she’s a lesbian. the thought of her dating other women doesn’t bother me very much - i don’t mind having two mother figured for my kids (granted one of my kids hates her so much from the cheating she lives with me full time and has none). i feel for all these guys on here dealing with another guy becoming a father figure. i pray every day she stays a dyke. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 02:34 AM |
| 2 | Serious question: Should the possibility of sex work be used to impute income to a divorced mom?I’m pretty sure they are mutually exclusive. If she’s fighting for custody, prostitution physical or on camera, as her sole means of income, is pretty good grounds not to grant it and make a strong point for being an unfit mother. and of course a judge would not use that in an impure calculation for the same reason. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/23 11:21 PM |
| 1 | Joke: no sex tonightI was overstating the point of just how much it affects your sex drive - it doesn’t actually make you fuck guys - but we’ve all been having a hard time with what’s a joke in this thread so it’s fitting. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/23 11:07 PM |
| 4 | Joke: no sex tonighti really need to know if this is a joke, as i assume it is my the title of the post, or if it’s an off chance you actually did this but the title was to announce the joke you pulled on her. but i’m going 98% that this was a joke. also that testosterone comment - that is the correct answer. i had a very low sex drive for a lot of years, tested and found it was clinically low, got on T and now i want to fuck everything that walks by, guy or girl, and often do. vs literally no desire for sex and be… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/01/23 10:07 PM |
| 3 | Hidden incomedo not contact the IRS. you can talk openly about your finances, as creative as they may be, in mediation. so if you really are entitled to some of it, you’re fucking your self up too. they can also go back 7 years (they rarely do - they have virtually no enforcement arm. even trump only had ONE auditor working on his stuff) which could potentially open up you as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/12/22 02:30 AM |
| 2 | I don’t understand this phraseit’s not quite as black and white as that. in some cases this is true - he really was a narcissist (despite that word being ridiculously used and abused) and he was too egotistical to see what was happening around him. but that is not most cases. a breach of trust immediately invalidates that. if you were unhappy you tell the person before you breach the trust - that’s called doing the right thing. monkey branching - trust might not have been breached, but she was looking for the greener grass. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/22 01:00 AM |
| 1 | I don’t understand this phraseyou’re only right about one of those - there is no better teacher about the other one being wrong than divorce. just go check out some marriage counseling statistics | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/22 12:33 AM |
| 2 | I don’t understand this phraseThat was a good analogy. And the point of having equity in the house is so when you retire you will own it, instead of having to keep just half of the equity you built and now go find a new place half as nice. alone. you’ve gotta separate the two things in your mind: the moment and the future. the moments were nice (altho now you no longer have the person that shares the memories and they will slowly fade over time as if they never happened without someone there to bring it up or remind you of t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/22 12:29 AM |
| 2 | There’s always someone elseI don’t think any one of these commentators barely even skimmed your post before responding. you just happen to be someone to take out all the mounting frustrations we have in this sub. it’s like trying to play baseball with the boys and being better than them so they tell you to go back and play with their sissy dolls. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/12/22 01:26 AM |
| 0 | There’s always someone elseYou’re a dick. Hyper gamy is a conceptual outline that is based in fact, like stereotypes. stereotypes exist for us to be able to process the world as a whole because we cant do it in a case by case basis. Well here’s a case that doesn’t fit the stereotype because hypergamy doesn’t apply to every woman on the planet. i don’t even know why I am taking so much of my time on this post, why the fuck would she take the time to make up a story elaborate enough to write a treatment of if not the the en… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/12/22 01:20 AM |
| 0 | There’s always someone elseit’s not one size fits all. when someone regardless of sex has an interesting story to share, that relates to what the MAN typically goes through, it’s more helpful than any of the other man posts we see over and over again. what this forum is not for is for women to come in and defend what they did and gaslight this sub. this is a place for men to understand wtf happened to them without having to argue the merits of their case, just for the support. well, this is wtf happened to you. And it tur… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/12/22 12:47 AM |
| 3 | Did you become persona non grata to other married men friends after Divorce?i’m going to steal this for sooooo many future replies…. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/22 11:01 PM |
| 7 | Did you become persona non grata to other married men friends after Divorce?it’s because it forces people to look at their own marriages. plain and simple. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/12/22 10:52 PM |
| 8 | She is struggling.When things are good, the whole history of the relationship and all of the things you did together/did for each other are good. And as soon as they decide it’s bad, ALL of it was bad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/22 09:36 PM |
| 16 | Hello. I'm just 22 yo guy and I'd like to thank you for your stories you posted. I've never been married and I'm not going to. Divorce law is just extremely unfair towards men. Women are so confident and try to force you into marriage cause they KNOW IT.got married mid-twenties, and 20 years later my wife decides she a lesbian. women hit 40 and become completely different people. it’s from evolution and feeling that you’ve done your job creating the nest, and even though your birds are still in it, it’s time to go live your best self consequences be dammed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/22 10:29 PM |
| 4 | Hello. I'm just 22 yo guy and I'd like to thank you for your stories you posted. I've never been married and I'm not going to. Divorce law is just extremely unfair towards men. Women are so confident and try to force you into marriage cause they KNOW IT.you both make excellent points. I also tell any young man that will listen not to get married. it’s a suckers bet. you either basically lose everything plus half your kids, or be in an unhappy marriage devoid of love. which is where i think 99% of the 40% that don’t get divorced are. it’s a no win situation. but when you are talking about getting married it’s not exactly romantic to draw up a bunch of legal to define boundaries (but you CAN). and of course all friends and family will tell you no… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/22 10:25 PM |
| 4 | Really struggling with interactionslook up grey rocking. typically it’s a tactic used against us, but we can do it too. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/12/22 05:15 PM |
| 3 | would it betray my son's trust?get a new therapist immediately. at age 16 they should not be meeting the parents at all. and if they do have a reason to, it should be done with both of you present. then take an extra minute to refer him for disciplinary action with your states licensing board. they take that shit VERY seriously. it won’t get his license taken away, but it will become public record and maybe you’ll save the next person who takes the time to google their therapist before starting the most important relationship… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/22 11:40 AM |
| 1 | Is Karma Even Real?It should be the mandatory high school class for boys since mandatory shop class got taken away because, obviously now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/22 11:34 AM |
| 6 | Is Karma Even Real?My wife left me for another woman after 22 years. be thankful you caught it this early and get on with your life. she isn’t happy btw. this is the pattern of behavior, like cliche to the point of comedic, of those most deeply unhappy people in the world. psychology 101. you went through the cycle yourself, so will the girlfriend, and on and on again until she’s either 1) alone. forever not finding her person or 2) finds her person in someone so beta and boring and happy to have ANYBODY give a sh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/22 11:30 AM |
| 1 | Can anyone offer peace of mind?You sound like a good candidate for 5/2/2/5 as you fight for 50/50. That way you never go more than 5 days, and it should be enticing to her to have every other weekend to herself. I lucked out in that there was never a question of 50/50 - my children would have rebelled. So we started this way of splitting time from day one. Another thing my lawyer told me, which is the best advice I ever had, was to just separate for now and live in two different places. Keep everything the same, finances inte… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/22 01:38 PM |
| 1 | Will I lose my Inheritance?That is absolutely not true. inheritance laws are super specific with very little room for interpretation. an account is just that - a number assigned to where you park money. if you have a 401k worth $500k, and she has a $401k worth $0, guess who gets $250k. it doesn’t matter that the account, which is just a number, is in your name. Only money used out of the principal of the inheritance is gone. And that’s where my wife got fucked when she used $300k NOT of the inheritance (however the result… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 06:17 PM |
| -2 | I can't shake the feeling that my marriage is entirely conditionalYou don’t try someone who is 19 in the court of marriage. She was literally one year older than legal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 05:58 AM |
| 2 | I can't shake the feeling that my marriage is entirely conditionalI just can’t help myself from having to say this one more time. she was normal and you weren’t. and you “molding” her is, well, it’s fucked up. if someone dropped this level of heavy on me when i was 19 i’d be running for the hills. maybe that’s where your true, undiagnosed resentment resides? knowing that she was too young for this. frankly everyone is too young for this. jesus christ - read through what you wrote a few times. you honest to god sound like the next mass shooter. and i don’t say … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 05:51 AM |
| 1 | I can't shake the feeling that my marriage is entirely conditionalEDIT!! - i made that Dahmer crack before i read one of your own replies saying the same exact thing. What does that tell you? It’s really hard to comment on this without being an asshole. So i guess take it with a grain of salt: Dude. She (and I assume roughly you) were 19 fucking years old. That novel bomb of a post you dropped, if we are being perfectly honest, is some Dahmer shit. At 19 you are supposed to have your face drenched in hot jizz. A lot. And YOU’RE supposed to be the one providing… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 05:43 AM |
| 2 | Shes going to vegas all of the sudden.It’s funny because it’s true. We had an open marriage (obviously) for almost 5 years. and i read every “polyamory” book there was to convince myself it was fine and our relationship was one of the ones that can handle it. It couldn’t. And I haven’t come across anyone from my old circle whose could. even tho sex is sex - it is, i had a lot of sex that was purely that and purely for pleasure with no emotions involved whatsoever, and that’s not exclusive to being a guy btw - that isn’t the part to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 05:21 AM |
| 1 | Will I lose my Inheritance?EDIT: I should make this even more clear. Inheritance is one of only a few special categories carved out of traditional marital assets. Everything I wrote below applies equally to money you inherited after you married. Identically. This one is easy, I went through something similar when my in-laws loaned us the down payment, however it was paid back through income generated by something she inherited. That money is mine now. It will take about 15 minutes for a lawyer to draft a water tight argum… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 12:42 AM |
| 3 | Shes going to vegas all of the sudden.a more succinct way of saying what i took 4 paragraphs to say before | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/22 09:12 PM |
| 7 | Shes going to vegas all of the sudden.Trust me, they’re both in on it. Everyone thinks it’s the creation of the Chad. The Stacey wants a 3some with her (most women prefer MFF 3somes, for countless mostly obvious reasons) just as much. Chad doesn’t “ger her a room” without Stacy understanding what’s happening. My marriage imploded down the (probably unrelated to this particular post) path of a sudden wanting to have 3somes with women all the time. which by default you don’t begin to question for awhile. especially when you’re both st… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/22 09:05 PM |
| 2 | Gaslightingwhat disease causes you not to be able to travel on trains? | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/22 08:51 PM |
| 9 | GaslightingJesus. I’ve read a lot of analogies on here, but nobody has come even close to carrying one this accurately, this long. Has to be some sort of record. I would not want to be on the other side of the table from you. in poker OR divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/22 08:49 PM |
| 1 | Date of separation and financialsthere’s also such a thing as a “continuation of separation” agreement which in essence says shit ain’t broke don’t fix it. If you don’t have a burning need to ACTUALLY divorce (my wife decided she’s a lesbian, granted she still has a strong disdain for me) but what has been working before can just continue on indefinitely. we have the extra expense of having to maintain a second place in an ungodly expensive area, but other than that we just keep treating our money how we always have. we also ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/22 02:03 AM |
| 1 | How do you fill "the void" after divorce?this is my response i put in the wrong thread. —- wow. just wow. our circumstances are incredibly similar - straight down to the therapy timeline and our ages). it’s tough with the kids (i have 3) to find true blocks of time, but if you want it enough… same about golf, took it up for the exact same reasons. man i am so bad. i want to play more on the course and not the range but i’m too intimidated to get put in with other people. I took it up with my oldest daughter (14) and it’s such a great b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/22 05:09 PM |
| 1 | How do you fill "the void" after divorce?sorry guys - accidentally put this in wrong thread. this is for the guy who took up all those new hobbies and actually did them. —- wow. just wow. our circumstances are incredibly similar - straight down to the therapy timeline and our ages). it’s tough with the kids (i have 3) to find true blocks of time, but if you want it enough… same about golf, took it up for the exact same reasons. man i am so bad. i want to play more on the course and not the range but i’m too intimidated to get put in wi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/22 05:01 PM |
| 2 | How do you fill "the void" after divorce?I love that line about spending 85 years with yourself. I’ve never, in all this time, heard anyone say that before. sometimes it’s the obvious things sitting right in front of your face that you miss. like how tom cruise only has one front tooth (google it) | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/22 04:48 PM |
| 1 | My wife insists she is done,none of it is yours, none of it is hers. It all comes out during discovery. every bank statement, every credit card bill. In marriage you share all the assets and money accumulated during that period - you both owe each other half. Even most pre-nups are water tight enough to avoid this, and i think it’s fair to guess you don’t have one anyways. Pray that she really does make more money than you, but be thankful she has at least been making some. so there is only one correct answer here: begin c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/22 11:20 PM |
| 2 | Am I over my ex wife… or is this a form of closure?my lawyer once said “i don’t understand why people don’t separate for awhile, work on rebuilding the friendship, BEFORE moving straight to divorce? Why would you want to go into a business negotiation with someone at the absolute peak of their animosity and dislike for you? Let things cool off first - THEN work on dividing things and contentious subjects. i’m paraphrasing but I don’t think by much I took that advice and going on 2 years later we are still just separated - she lives under a diffe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/22 03:58 PM |
| 2 | IsolationYolo. And my only point with the cryptic who I am - altho comedy would ensue if it was known how much time I waste on reddit - is making the point that NOBODY is immune from this. Every guy, every demographic, we all go through this awful phase and there’s no way to avoid it. It doesn’t matter who you know, what resources you have, nothing. It’s just clawing inch by inch. until you’re on the other side. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/22 03:49 PM |
| 1 | Am I over my ex wife… or is this a form of closure?the emotional involvement stings. especially when it develops without your knowledge. but if not now, when? it was coming one way or the other, so it happening sooner rather than later, pre animosity vs post, is a gift you won’t be able to appreciate right now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/22 05:39 AM |
| 3 | Isolationoh that you could know who i am in real life. at 37 you can find a new career, probably make more money? becoming elon or jack dorsey? that ship has sailed. and since i’m a complete internet stranger with nothing to gain? trust me. you’re not starting the next tesla. you have to be around their auras to ever understand it. SO GO DO SOMETHING FUN. using the above excuses (i mean come on, #metoo? even you know that’s retarded) is only going to hold you back. knock it off with the pity party, take … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/22 05:36 AM |
| 0 | Am I over my ex wife… or is this a form of closure?please tell me you see the utter hypocrisy of this right? you’re fine in what you’re doing - that’s the point of this whole fucking thing. but she’s supposed to pine away a virgin? Sorry to be blunt but it’s time to put your big boy pants on. your relationship is way, way, way better off than most and you should be thankful for that. so don’t go and fuck it up. you of all people should know that sex is sex, and when it comes to women they also want to FEEL sexy. go support her. it’ll piss her of… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/22 05:28 AM |
| 1 | Isolationi should have left out clinically low. GPs and even Endos don’t give a shit about normal. You need to be way above it. 1200+. If you’ve ever trusted an internet stranger, trust me on this. Pregnancy? do you seriously want kids at your age? snip - reversible anyways. STDs? nothing a round of antibiotics can’t fix in a week and if you’re that paranoid wear a sensation stopper. relationship drama? only if you want that and a lot of girls very much do not. #metoo? do you work at NPR? Just don’t date… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/22 05:18 AM |
| 2 | Isolationone word: testosterone. search for Viking Labs. it will change your life and in a few months you’ll want to fuck anything with pegs. boy or girl. edit: legs. but pegs too. you are likely clinically low in T for a thousand million reasons that are obvious to all of us. Not only will it get your libido back on track, but you’ll make gains in the gym 3x as fast. You do know you need to go to the gym, right? It will quickly become not YOU wanting to fuck anything with pegs/legs, but them wanting to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/22 05:02 AM |
| 2 | Isolationoh i understand. i’m a wealthy good looking man in san francisco. at 45 the world is my oyster - younger women trip over themselves for my demographic. and yet i’ve waited nearly two years (after being with my ex for 20). i went from orgies with people you know to my left hand. sometimes my right if i really wanted it to feel new. And I’m STILL just BARELY looking around. but spaceX fails. and they wait awhile before the next launch while they work out what went wrong. and then they try again. a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/22 03:04 AM |
| 2 | Isolationthat would be the “FEELS” part in all caps. Are you never going to use your stove again? And are you cool not sticking something in your stoves opening for the rest of your life…? | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/22 03:08 PM |
| -2 | IsolationThis is nonsense. I have wealth - enough that I never even think about money. I probably never will again. What it buys is freedom, but it does not buy happiness. look up some of the studies that show people who make over (let’s say 80k - i forget the number) are SIGNIFICANTLY happier than people making 40k. But that’s where the curve drops off. There isn’t a huge change in happiness ofer 80k, where you can just be comfortable. And no shortage of studies that that bracket is even happier. stop f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/22 08:12 PM |
| 4 | Isolationto clarify - you have one child right? how do you not have time? i have 50/50 of three (granted older 9, 12, 14) so they can do most things themselves. And yes, when I have them, it feels overwhelming and the last thing i want to do that night is go out. but you should have a hell of a lot more time than one day every two weeks to do something for yourself. maybe the first place to start is why - and are you maybe using it to make an excuse not to have to try…. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/22 08:03 PM |
| 4 | Isolationi was also in this situation. 3 kids, 20 year marriage, no family near, long term friends not local - i had nobody left that wasn’t through her, and boy did those get cut off - relationships i had had for years - even faster than i thought. everything they say is true. BUT, there is a solution. when the time FEELS right, you just need to start dating. this will fill your evenings and give you a sense of purpose to look good and take care of yourself. and when you find someone you like a lot, you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/22 07:58 PM |
| 3 | Timing - Wife has cancerno matter who they are, you don’t abandon a partner of 22 years that is the mother of 2 of your children right now. explain to them what’s happening, move into another room if you need to, but show them what commitment truly means. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/22 07:15 PM |
| 1 | Timing - Wife has cancerIt all comes down to who controls the narrative and laid the groundwork ahead of time. Which is not the person on the other side of the papers. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/22 07:12 PM |
| 8 | Officially divorced today.I hate to say it, but this. Divorce without kids is just a slightly more complex breakup. And while not having money makes it suck, having money makes it suck in a different way. when you don’t have to stress your bills or making ends meet or really changing your ljfeste much, all the time that WOULD have been spent on that gets funneled out of survival mode and into retrospective mode of what could have been done differently. “we had it all - why did we have to throw it away”. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/22 11:32 AM |
| 4 | My cheating ex is struggling right now. I hate that I care.I can’t tell if you’re serious or not with that, but there’s a part of me that hopes you are and another part of me that hopes you are. Now I can blame everything on my dad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/22 12:31 AM |
| 1 | 50 / 50 schedule suggestionsIt’s called 5/2/2/5. And it allows each of you to have the weekend to yourself every other week. As of today I am using it too (not nesting). I think it’s the best compromise. My stbxw wanted one week on one week off and that’s just too scary for the kids AND me. a week is too long to go without seeing their other parents. But more switches than 5/2/2/5 is pretty disruptive and a logistical nightmare. My 13 year old will be with me full time since she hates that crazy bitch and is old enough to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/22 09:31 PM |
| 2 | How long?Check into taking testosterone. Viking clinic online does a great job. i’ve been using them for 6 months and the difference is night and day. as is all this extra hair on my chest. you will see results 5x faster. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/22 04:42 PM |
| 4 | Was it all fake?Its been said here a thousand times, and each time it rings true a thousand times. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/04/22 03:01 PM |
| 3 | Cost of marriage/divorce vs child supportthis is the most intelligent post i’ve ever read on here. Imagine if every man was smart enough to come check out a divorce forum FIRST. And get answers from the side that isn’t all rainbows and unicorns in either 1) looking for marriage or 2) in the prime point of the happiness of their marriage. Marriage is a contract, nothing more. Do you run numbers before you sign a contract on a car? Then why not the biggest contract of your life? Bravo, sir. Bravo. And tell all your friends. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/22 07:14 PM |
| 2 | Religion?i don’t have any advice but i just wanted to point out this is an excellent and interesting question. I mean, I have opinions, but none that would be productive other than wanting you to feel better that this is a her thing and not a you thing. does the church Zoom the services? I bet with all the old people that are still hesitant to go they are still doing that. And may not ever stop now, since it’s a dead easy way for people who can’t attend in person to make it still. Maybe you could agree t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/22 05:13 PM |
| 1 | I reached a void and I’m trying to get out of it.Go to Viking online. They are real doctors that do real blood tests first. they’re just more lenient than an endo. But if you come back at 700 they’ll say wait until you’re older. You wouldn’t feel much anyways. I was clinically low - and I suspect a lot of men going through divorce are, for a variety of reasons, and I think it contributed to the divorce also. I’m like a new person. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/22 07:24 PM |
| 1 | I reached a void and I’m trying to get out of it.yep. as long as you’re low-ish. you need to accept that it’s a life long commitment - you’ll be shutting down your own system. But it’s not like being a diabetic. If I lose it on a trip and can’t take it for a week or two it’s fine. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/22 07:20 PM |
| 2 | I reached a void and I’m trying to get out of it.Get on testosterone. You will at least GET AWAY with that sort of behavior. It will even it out back to baseline. you won’t see the GAINS and what it can TRULY do until you get back into the gym and lift heavy weights. but it’s a band aid to get you through. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/22 03:09 AM |
| 8 | Stuck with alimony. I want to retire.One word: Thailand Enjoy your new better life. Especially with the crypto suggestion just to add an extra layer of protection. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/22 01:47 AM |
| 1 | Couples Therapy TodayI’ll reiterate what someone said above. If you “feel” like marriage counseling worked, it’s because you found something to make your divorce easier by communicating openly before the fists start flying and nobody is listening to each other. tbh I’m not so sure about the being used against you in court thing - I’d need to google that. what i AM sure about is the cold hard statistics of the success rate. You will see flowery statistics on your initial google and that’s because the association they… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/22 03:51 PM |
| 1 | Couples Therapy Todayit’s tough to get dialed in. im only 3 months (when you can finally tell how you actually feel) in and had those first bloods. i’m growing new chest hair like crazy - it looks like the amazon jungle. it’s hard to accept that “more isn’t better”. I’ll probably have to drop dose if it’s so high like that again. but to anybody reading this as so many of us are in our 40s given that’s when these she devils decide they are a new person and thus we end up here, for the love of god get tested. and even… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/22 06:30 PM |
| 2 | Couples Therapy TodayAlso that is correct - it is not 100% unsuccessful. But the stats are abysmal. And as someone else said, the only thing propping even those up are the people who went much earlier than at this point. At this point it’s a bandaid at best, and a roadmap on how to destroy you in the divorce process at worse. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/22 04:39 PM |
| 2 | Couples Therapy TodaySorry - I guess I kind of threaded that as if it were advice to you and not OP. It wasn’t. But anyone who has been married that long implies that they are probably at least 40, and even if you aren’t “clinically” low in T, you aren’t rocking 1400 anymore. (i went from 400 to around 1200 trough). It was the best thing I ever did. From his post I can already tell his level is low - it’s literally that easy to diagnose. And advice to lift 6 days a week is spot on - but if you do it with hormone opt… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/22 04:35 PM |
| 0 | Couples Therapy TodayNo. Accept your sex life and intimacy are over and they are never coming back. Listen to dude about rational male - go to Viking Clinic online to get on testosterone - and lift 5 or 6 days a week starting with a trainer to learn proper form. Then come back here in 3 months and tell us if youre ready to pull the rip cord. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/22 04:08 PM |
| 3 | Couples Therapy TodayPut the money aside in an account for a mediation retainer instead. Get as far as you can with that - maybe you’ll even luck out and beat the odds and settle it there. But you’ll at least have a much cheaper outline of what everyone wants and needs before it gets ratcheted up in cost to finish. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/22 04:05 PM |
| 5 | Couples Therapy TodayGo look up the stats on the success of marriage counseling. And then go spend that money somewhere else. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/22 04:00 PM |
| 6 | Couples Therapy TodaySo true about letting the enemy inside the walls of your fortifications for a good look around right before going to war. It sucks but you have no choice but to look at it that way. I was so sure I was going to have an amicable divorce because after 22 years my wife decided she was a lesbian. But it became about ME, REAL fast, and claws I could have never imagine came out and went for my eyes with all she had. I have no idea who this person is - they are a complete stranger to me. And we have 3 … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/22 03:56 PM |
| 9 | Why Doesn't She Like Me?There is nobody - and I mean nobody - less of a target market for that book than me. I live in one of this most liberal places in the world, and it’s not something that was ever remotely on my radar. That book by its cover fits none of my values and the opposite of everything i was taught growing up. But it couldn’t be more dead on. Sure he exaggerates and goes too far sometimes, and a lot of the idea’s aren’t his but more of a “put it all together in one place”, but that is usually in the servi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/22 07:00 PM |
| 1 | Went in first date so se my break up 2 months agoNot the best time for the use of the word tranny. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/22 08:57 PM |
| 2 | Would you tell your kids it was their moms birthday if they were with you the day of?UofA ‘99. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/03/22 03:39 AM |
| 1 | What legal action can someone take against a spouse who ran off with the couples child to another state?Squarely and firmly in experienced family law attorney territory. Go get a free consultation so you at least have a basic understanding. Today. Then you can take a few days to mull over what you learned having better information to mull with. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/22 05:11 PM |
| 1 | Advice on hiring legal advice when finances still shared with wifeit’s a tough one. i had a 10k retainer and I knew a charge that large would come out during discovery. We had agreed not to get lawyers, but I am of course not stupid. I had my brother cover it - he knew I was plenty good for it just that I couldn’t use it - and will just pay him back at the end. There’s nothing stopping someone else from paying and then giving their permission to work directly with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/22 04:34 PM |
| 4 | Advice on hiring legal advice when finances still shared with wifeit’s a tough one. i had a 10k retainer and I knew a charge that large would come out during discovery. We had agreed not to get lawyers, but I am of course not stupid. I had my brother cover it - he knew I was plenty good for it just that I couldn’t use it - and will just pay him back at the end. There’s nothing stopping someone else from paying and then giving their permission to work directly with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/22 04:34 PM |
| 2 | What do you guys DO?why do I never hear golf on here? you can get decent enough to play in pickup games in like a year, and you meet tons and tons of people that way. And trust me, if you carry your bag at your ($20 or so) public 9 hole course you will be tired. You can get used equipment which will be juuuuust fine for your skill level for $300 and last you 5 years until you’re good enough for better clubs to actually improve your game. Go hit 300 balls at the practice range and tell me if you’ve ever been more ti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/22 05:43 PM |
| 13 | Ten months divorced. A healing moment of clarity.it’s important to understand, also, that this, much like addiction, cuts across all boundaries. I see a lot of “should i buy my ex out with a refi because a house sold down the block from me for 120k” and i think to myself “a deeded parking spot where i live costs twice that”. But I also read “you don’t know who you married until you get divorced” from that exact same person. We are on different sides of the world - im dividing up 3 companies with about 100 people involved to figure it all out -… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/22 04:25 AM |
| 1 | I’m (29M) considering divorcing my wife (28F) due to her failure to contribute anything to our marriage financially. Yes, I can support her and I make a pretty good living. My problem is that I should not need to support her at the level that I am, due to the context of our marriage currently.I have never taken a stance or cared enough to, even after going through a divorce. But your arguments are ludicrous. You can’t have it both ways - either you are equal or you are not. Its binary. So what you’ve managed to do here is give a giant list of why you are unequal. That’s fine, as long as you don’t say that you are. And this is why 99% of the posts on this forum, most of them coming from articulate people capable of making reasonable cases - are that feminism is the greatest hypocrisy … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/22 05:29 PM |
| 2 | Does anyone else have zero interest in dating post-divorce?I really should leave San Francisco one day. $1000/hr for a proper experience from various recommendations i’ve received. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/22 05:43 AM |
| 4 | Does anyone else have zero interest in dating post-divorce?I couldn’t agree with you more and I don’t understand why it’s so taboo. I think a lot of the worlds problems could be solved if more people had this mentality. And had the balls to talk about it openly to begin the process of normalizing it. I’m shocked I don’t see it talked about in this forum AT ALL. It’s literally the perfect answer to almost every single one of these comments. I’m a good looking guy (if i do say so myself given we are all anonymous and who cares) and quite wealthy. I could … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/22 08:52 PM |
| 3 | Get a Lawyer and protect yourselfRead The Rational Male and I guarantee you won’t ever marry a single mother. I’d stake the little bit left of my fortune on it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/22 08:22 PM |
| 2 | Get a Lawyer and protect yourselfThis article should be the very top sticky of this sub. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/22 08:18 PM |
| 2 | Finance question on mariageread The Rational Male. Today. I wish I could give it to every single man in their 20s and stand over them while they read it to make sure they don’t skip any pages. I wish I had read it in my 20s. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/22 07:09 PM |
| 2 | Wife's attorney presented their case for custody to mine in a settlement meeting.. just wowit drives me insane that people - women especially - don’t get that about video games. i think it’s primarily bad optics - “video games” does not sound like something that can be such an incredibly creative outlet and way to spend time together. I highly recommend everyone check out the game It Takes Two. it won basically every game of the year award, and ironically it is about divorce. but it is a two player co op game - it can only be played with two people together on a couch - and the puzzle… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/22 09:14 PM |
| 2 | How do you bond with your daughters?Welcome to fatherhood of teenage daughters. I have 3 (13. 11, and 8). My wife and I separated a year ago but we still all live together because we have a big house and live in the most expensive city in the country and it’s not even remotely realistic to get another 4 bedroom. we WILL make the change eventually - we don’t exactly like each other - but for now her and i got along “enough” and still have no idea what to do anyways. she’s born and raised here and doesn’t want to leave and at this p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/22 04:54 PM |
| 2 | End is in sightyou are much wiser than your original post implies. you would be surprised to know who i am in real life, you would know who i am - i’ve heard many wise things from many wise people - and yet this is one of the most poignant assessments of something laid out to me. don’t sell yourself short. which you are doing. there’s much more beneath the surface than you are allowing yourself to accept because you are scared to take on the responsibility of what that implies. IF you want to be a high functio… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/22 06:40 AM |
| 2 | End is in sightI drink 1/2 of a 375 (1/4 of a normal bottle) every day too. is that bad? the guidelines for men is no more than 4 standard drinks per day and that’s exactly 4. (17 a week tho which i’m going over). Do I drink to much for this phase of my life? | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/22 02:11 AM |
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