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Mela_ninja Archive

View 0 posts and 843 comments by Mela_ninja on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

How is being too platonic detrimental?? It’s because often women want to be seduced, flirted with and wooed romantically. They also generally prefer the dude to initiate or they feel like he doesn’t like them like that. What do you mean by his type (like physical, emotional or their personality)?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 12:18 PM
2

He’s like if you turn a golden lab into a person and also pretty attractive. He doesn’t have issues attracting women but being too platonic is often detrimental. He’s best bet is to find a woman who would take charge and guide him but those aren’t the majority. The point was that while you maybe right, it’s more to a much smaller extent than you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 12:04 PM
8

I think you’re convulsing 2 subjects to try and brute force the connection. Men having close friend doesn’t necessarily have a huge impact on their dating (but it can still have an effect just more on the possible chances). I’ve seen plenty of men with many close friends that still struggle with dating and men who have few/no friends do well. The issue isn’t the lack of the platonic aspect (hence the “friend zone”) but rather how to merge the platonic aspect with the romantic aspect. I had a fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 11:11 AM
3

Yeah and you find those dudes in jail rn… It’s also a toxic thing that I don’t recommend you perpetuating.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 07:15 AM
3

Unfortunately that’s oversimplified and not how the world works. But it seems you are keen to confirm your bias that you are unattractive than to be open to perspectives.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 07:04 AM
2

The gym isn’t a good situation to make conclusions of. Men have generally stopped approaching as much, especially in the gym. There’s been an overcorrection, the risks back then was just being rejected, now they risk being called a creep, “exposed” online or being kicked out.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 06:34 AM
0

I mean let’s be fr, you didn’t already have sympathy and now got a comment that you can use to confirm your bias lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 05:30 AM
6

I mean I haven’t seen you being called an “incel” or a predator yet. You are actually getting people’s answers and perspectives. You want the perks of being attractive without being attractive. It’s quite a normal thing to want. Your annoyance of the situation is due to the fact that you can’t accept your place in society and what society is. If your criticism of your ugliness stems from your facial bone structure then I believe you aren’t as ugly as you think you are. Obesity and such might mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 05:14 AM
12

Again this is a gendered phenomenon. It’s similar to how most men are invisible to most women. It’s only noticeable to you because women tend to be noticed more often than men. But another advantage of being a woman in this situation is that you’ll get more sympathy for it. If you were a dude you’d have been called “incel”, “entitled” or “predator”. A woman doesn’t become genderless if you aren’t attracted to her, she just doesn’t become a conduit of desire. I’m not attracted to most women and I…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 04:59 AM
2

It is interesting, and was done like that due to imbalances and leverages. Most women don’t generally desire most men but most men generally desire most women. So the burden of courtship was mostly on men. Add slut shaming and overpolicing of women and you get that dynamic. Even though it’s improving it’s still prevalent till this day. A lot of men haven’t genuinely been desired so they tend to negotiate that desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:18 PM
8

The issue with the blue pill is that its design to be the contrarian of the red pill. Their main focus is to go “nuh uh” for every take they deem not to be blue pill. The space has devolved into 2 extremes with no nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 08:21 AM
1

I’ll break it down “DONT” You can maximize the efficiency of your work, dial in your diet, find ways to improve your sleep, be patient and consistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 08:00 AM
1

<image> Fam that’s like saying you’ve been groggy in the mornings so you’ll just do meth for a bit and it’ll work out.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 07:54 AM
1

-You don’t have time for the gym -you don’t get enough sleep -high stress -and I can bet you haven’t even come close to Optimizing your training Yeah bro you’re going to look generally the same, shorten your life span, have hella side effects and not even make that much gains.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 07:47 AM
50

That’s because you aren’t a simp and people have lost the actual meaning of the word. A simp is a dude who does things for women he likes in hopes to attract her and is getting taken advantage of. The being taken advantage of essential to the term. Think about those dudes who have a crush on a woman. They offer services like dropping her off to the dudes house that she actually likes. It’s like buying your partner flowers and being called a sugar daddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:07 AM
7

This is pretty common in more “traditional cultures” but in a different way. In my culture the wife is given assets such as gold and other jewelry. If they have children she gets the house and agreed otherwise. A lot of new age people who push “traditional cultures” relationships end up doing it with consideration of their benefit only. There’s also many aspects people tend to forgo which don’t work well with western like cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 06:14 AM
3

As a guy with plenty of female friends I’d say it’s more of a”approach with caution” situation. Men and women CAN be just platonic friends but generally it’s more complicated. The difference is often not just him wanting to fuck them but from that side it’s more of them having him as an “emotional boyfriend”. Where they see him as a side character in their life. For men the currency is sex or the potential of sex, while for women it’s attention, time and effort. See how he is with boundaries and…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/26 03:15 PM
5

Your first point enables the narrative. By comparing social skills to height (physical attractive feature) you tell them that height isn’t that important. Which could be true for some cases and not for others. They then see men who have good social skills (but other not so attractive features) have less success than taller folks. Also physical attractive traits aren’t mutually exclusive from social ones, this is coming from someone who had high charisma but was “below average” in looks. When my …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:19 AM
2

I think the issue is oversimplifying it to just “serial killer vs shy guy”. There’s plenty of bad dudes who don’t struggle with women (the serial killer is often an extreme example). Most of the time those women are attracted to the immoral aspect and those people might have qualities that make them more successful. -they are often above average in social intelligence and charisma in comparison to the shy guy. -they try more than the shy guy -women aren’t a benevolent entity that has an inbuilt …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 08:27 AM
7

It’s something I’ve seen a lot for online discourse. People oversimplify social situations to confirm their bias. Nuance is hard and often requires self reflection, so people prefer a simple and pattern like approach. Struggling men are often told the reason they don’t attract women is because they’re bad people/misogynists. So when they see bad people attracting women they often go towards the opposite extreme. It’s often enabled by people making it as women are a benevolent monolith. The best …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 08:09 AM
8

It’s because a lot of people are in mediocre relationships and this is a way for them to cope. I’ve been called “strict” often and it’s something that I consider basic compatibility. A lot of people don’t factor in high compatibility while dating and aren’t as self reflective. Another aspect I see is a narcissistic quality that people need to fit in your standards, even if they aren’t dating you. They feel validated to be in “the club”. It’s also interesting that I’ve never found it pretty diffi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 11:01 AM
15

While I can see your point, the issue is that it ends up working against them. When I was younger, feminism was portrayed more on uplifting women and not hating men. It was more attractive due to the fact that it didn’t imply men are bad but rather the system is. So most people (including men) considered themselves as feminists. The change came in about 2013 ish in mainstream media. Social media became more focused on rage and engagement bait. So we started seeing the rise of “men are trash/rapi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 10:52 AM
3

Personally I don’t think it’s acceptable. But in reality most people (men/women) settle and that’s where you see most relationship issues. The difference that people often speak on is the treatment. Often times a man treats a 6 similar to a 10. Be it sexually, romantically or so on. That’s often due to the way both genders were socialized. Men look at someone who’s acceptable while women were raised on “knight in shining armor tropes”. There’s also the fact that it’s much easier for a woman to f…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:13 PM
2

I mean it could just be a probability thing so it’s not like I’m saying your experience is wrong. It’s also not that some women can’t find pleasure in it, it’s just often consideration is more required. The bigger thing (heh) is that women like what a big dick represents more often than the dick itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 06:20 PM
1

Interesting as someone who’s basically the same size it’s not a “problem” per se. Most of my partners have needed significant foreplay or more effectively to orgasm once. Quickies have been super rare, unless with the assistance of drinks and/or weed. What you’re saying is the equivalent of saying “6’3 isn’t tall. Plus you didn’t answer my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 06:05 PM
5

Yeah there’s a cultural aspect. Big dongs were seen as brutish and savage (funny enough that’s one of the attraction points today). That’s why I said women love the idea of it rather than the reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 04:29 PM
8

Wait, do you think that what a woman can tolerate is related to her size? Also go check out some testimonies from dudes with larger members and see how wrong you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 12:17 PM
8

Not really. I don’t think it’s just men or just women. Women love big dicks too. Why do you think you don’t see small dicks being praised or featured in erotica or other media. There’s also the small dick energy narrative women love pushing. If small dicks were preferred or even equal to larger docks then this narrative wouldn’t exist. It’s way more nuanced than saying men are obsessed with large docks and women don’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:50 AM
13

Not the original commenter but it depends on the person. Often it’s a mix of high level of attraction, compatibility and emotional attraction. Most men are okay with not finding their dream woman and often settle for what they can attain. As someone who’s with someone I obsess over, my life is completely different with them. I notice that I don’t have to tolerate things most men are told to tolerate. But I think it’s similar to a woman’s experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:21 AM
8

Yup it’s like being 6-6’2. The media and porn has warped a lot of minds. Heck even a lot of women can’t handle 6.5-7 inches without significant discomfort. It’s also the element that most women can’t even tell 5 or 7 inches and have been lied to so much. In reality 4-6 inches is great for most (ofc there’s some with preferences for more). Women love the idea of a big dick more than they actually love big dicks. It’s often more mental.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 07:46 AM
1

Yeah I think it’s more nuanced. Personally I don’t just state my boundaries or standards. I value genuineness so I often give absolute freedom to a potential partner. That way I can know if we are truly compatible and save a lot of time and effort. I’d be lying if the boundaries haven’t been eluded to in general conversation though. I’d say your case is different. Being poly introduces complexity so clear, communicated boundaries are necessary if not mandatory.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:20 AM
1

I believe boundaries are self imposed. It’s not “you can’t go to the club, it’s a boundary I have” but rather “oh she goes clubbing, I don’t want a partner who does” then leave. The interesting aspect is if boundaries should be communicated. It can be regarded as soft control and remove the genuine aspect out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 04:58 AM
3

Maam it’s 2026, we don’t consider women as commodities anymore. You’re the one who said that your company/time/attention is inherently valuable. I don’t disagree, however for the folks reading this and wanting to date women of your caliber, what is the rate you’d presume that would be sufficient.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 12:00 PM
3

So how much is your time worth? Is it a $40 dollar date or $200 dollars? Do you charge per hour? Are your rates standard or dependent on the dude?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 11:43 AM
5

Ahem DID HE TELL HER THAT HE WAS GOING TO COMMIT
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 11:41 AM
3

Nope but in similar fashion to how women expect commitment if they’ve been together for a while. No one writes down contracts for dates but honestly replying to you is illogical
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 11:37 AM
5

“I am the table” Fellas if you’re reading this, don’t expect sex as a term for your effort. Find a woman who reciprocates (and not just in a sexual way). Also good luck to yall and I thank the stars I found my person, if this is what’s awaiting yall.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 11:35 AM
–

No but if he’s organizing and paying for the date, what is she doing (gracing him with her presence) “Then don’t”: don’t manosphere dudes say the same thing when women complain about their issues socially? They aren’t dumb just not understanding the implication. Would you call a woman who’s been emotionally abused dumb because she didn’t understand it? I legit don’t understand the last paragraph lol. Maybe expound on it after your done frothing from the mouth.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 10:56 AM
3

The misrepresentation goes crazy. Most of the men who have these issues, isn’t necessarily due to what you’ve said. It’s more; 1) Lack of reciprocity: that’s where you get the men who get upset from not being intimate after the date. So the dudes who get intimacy don’t really complain. 2) Hypocrisy in gender roles: men are expected to follow their gender roles when seen fit. This is also quite common in progressive spaces too. 3) They don’t understand that they aren’t desired and subconsciously …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 10:47 AM
6

It’s literally like the 4B movement. A small minority made to look large due to online spaces. People will still get together, the world will keep spinning.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 10:26 AM
2

OLD apps were good for hookups back in the day. Then they achieved some success in actual dating. Now it’s just full of bots, IG/OF promos and escorts. This is why I think discourse around it is pretty outdated. I’ve seen way more people find success on Instagram instead of OLD. Especially if you’re under 35.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:35 AM
2

Meh it depends. People who are starved off attention will see it as a win. A starving person will be happy to find a hotdog in a dumpster, while someone who isn’t wont even consider it as food.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:16 AM
3

Yeah I was confused where he got cheating from
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:13 AM
8

I don’t think so. If your point was geared more to success of casual hookups, then I’d agree. There’s also the element of limitation. As an average to below average dude, you are more likely to pursue a relationship because of lack of options. That doesn’t necessarily mean they still don’t pursue hookups.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:52 AM
25

We did this with our friend group a while back. We all created accounts and switched the men and the women. The results were heavily what u expected but it opened a lot of eyes for others in the group. The women found it depressing that their accounts (the men) wouldn’t get matches and if they do it’s 80% bots. Also they didn’t like carrying conversations. The men were shocked with how many likes they got (as the women) but 60% were just dirty messages, 20% were hidden agendas and the selection …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:47 AM
18

I wouldn’t say it’s most men, but a lot of men are shitheads in the apps, so it’s what it seems to them. I also think you’re mixing up a few things. Most men would cycle through women, if given the opportunity. I was below average in terms of looks and still did it. This notion that the ugly/average guy is inherently more noble doesn’t work. Also another point to note, women generally have TONS of options, so it’s natural for them to be pickier. Men would be the same if they were in the same pos…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:36 AM
2

So many people focus on who’s “right or wrong”, instead of just chalking it up to a difference in ideals and incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:25 AM
1

Yeah it’s true, women aren’t visually stimulated. That’s why male leads in romcoms and average or short, balding and average looking. Women are also highly visually stimulated, this doesn’t mean they don’t consider other aspects of attraction. Also my point was more leaning on desire and not only physical attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:40 AM
5

You misunderstand me. I don’t think women should be obligated to do anything. Heck I’m not just for consent but enthusiastic consent. Men shouldn’t pressure women to do something, even if it makes them feel less desirable. The main advice I give men is to find someone who has a high level of desire and is compatible with you (in this case sexually compatible). If they do that then this issue would not really exist whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:56 AM
5

Yeah not unattractive, attraction and desire and generally on a scale. It’s not ugly or attractive, but my point was rather how much the desire is. A lot of women forgo a high level of desire for other qualities in a relationship that are important to her. Heck it’s often subconsciously and not malicious whatsoever, she might not even notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:45 AM
4

There’s also an attraction and desire element towards it too. People don’t understand that a lot of women are with men they don’t have a huge desire of. Sex and sexual acts are super intertwined with the mental aspect, be it desire, respect, admiration etc. Honestly this issue never arises for me, because I date women who have a high level of desire and are sexually compatible with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:29 AM
2

It’s is, but that’s the good thing of having female friends, you get to see different perspectives. It also helped me understand about a previous relationship and why she acted the way she did. This is also not to say that it’s all women, just something common that I’ve seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:14 AM
–

Yeah that’s the extremism that I was talking about. When dealing with people, there’s often no actual absolutes. There’s so many factors that could be controlled and others that aren’t (eg luck). Using generalizations as a soft guideline instead of a fixed science is more rational.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 10:55 AM
3

Unfortunately it’s something I’ve noticed having female friends and women around me. Their relationship has a huge aspect in validating that woman’s feelings. If she feels jealous and he is distant they’d take it and run with it. I had a female friend complain about how her BF hasn’t texted her all morning. Her sister and friends jumped on it and said this is how men start cheating or he’s doing this on purpose just to punish her. I asked her what he did the day before and she just brushed past …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 09:45 AM
–

It’s something I’ve noticed. Humans love pattern recognition and predictability, so that’s why a lot of people tend to gravitate towards absolutes. Understanding general trends needs to come with understanding limitations and nuance. But those are yucky and don’t always agree with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 09:06 AM
–

Also I don’t know why people treat nature and nurture as mutually exclusive things. In most cases they tend to be meshed. Humans are complex and multifaceted. Another issue is understanding drives. Both men and women can have changing drives due to a multitude of factors (biology, mental health, age, lifestyle, attraction etc.) Majority of my partners believed they had low drives before, but in reality they did have high drives with me. There was so many things they ended up learning about thems…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 08:15 AM
3

Empathy doesn’t mean you think they are right, or even good people. Understanding them, their situation and seeing from a different perspective cannot only enlighten you, but also help them to become better. First of all they (like most people), lack the self awareness to know that they’re even doing that. They just look at it as socialized pragmatic steps. -I want to be loved, desired and have companionship -If I act a certain way, women seem to like me more -I’ll do this to get what I seek Whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 06:35 PM
4

Same, my partner is also my best friend. In a perfect world that’s how it should be, but unfortunately we don’t live in a perfect world. It’s better to understand this situations and empathize with people. With understanding, solutions become more accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:20 PM
7

Yup, for those dudes. That’s often where you get the “I hate my wife” and “girl, he doesn’t even like you”, tropes. Realistically a lot of people end up settling. The degree in which they settle is where they differ.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 04:09 PM
2

In her first situation she mentioned the dude lying about the date spot, which is the title of the post. He wouldn’t be able to be a bad partner if he wasn’t already a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 03:37 PM
2

If he’s main goal was commitment and longevity then why not continue the “ruse”. It’s quite a common occurrence with men, and a common complaint. The effort and energy at the court phase is high and once settled into a commitment, it disappears. Just like in her case.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 03:36 PM
3

Yeah it’s not, but often times puts people through the door more easily. You can’t stay in a club if you couldn’t already get in.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 11:23 AM
15

Again I think you still don’t understand. You’re still viewing it from the lens of a woman. It worked out because he dated you. Your viewing it as a fail because like other women the commitment and longevity aspect is the thing you aren’t guaranteed. It’s like a middle class dude complaining about his shitty Nissan to someone who walks 10 miles to work. Yes the shitty car can have its issues but the poor dude walking 10 miles would gladly take it. Once you understand the general experience for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 10:57 AM
18

Unfortunately the reason a lot of dudes do it is, because it works. For loads of guys it’s much harder to get a woman than to keep a woman you already have. A lot of people have set up dating as a game of leverages. The average woman is more desirable than the average man, so she gets the “leverage” during the courting phase. Once they are together that “leverage” shifts, because it’s mostly unsustainable and that’s where the woman ends up putting more effort. That’s why you often see men compla…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 10:48 AM
7

I think the important aspect is understanding where both sides are coming from, and while technically not right, they are technically no wrong (nuance). A lot of the red pill takes are strategies built of resentment from their experience. Plenty of red pill dudes were “nice guys” and that it necessarily helps. So in response they shifted it to women lie. That’s why I talk about making women a monolith is dangerous. The women who respond are socialized to say what’s appropriate rather than what t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:33 PM
15

So while I agree a lot of red pill is just made to validate men and they have plenty of inconsistencies, this isn’t just a red pill take. If what you said was true then a lot of bald, short men , who play magic the gathering would be fighting women off them (according to reddit). Often times a lot of women say what’s appropriate to say and not what they truly want. No woman walks around saying they want an abusive, misogynistic tall dude. They always say he’s “so nice and funny”. This is basical…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:06 PM
0

Other things I’d add is; -effort: the amount of effort REQUIRED for her to be attracted to you -respect: how she treats you. Many men are okay with subpar treatment because that’s what they’ve known.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:29 AM
0

Desire isn’t limited to just physical attraction, it could be a multitude of several factors. One of it is what you mentioned, status. However using the metric of how scared she is to lose you also is a little too murky. There’s plenty of men who’ve been settled for and their partner is scared to lose them. I remember one of my friends sister was in a situation like that. She was scared to break up with her man but what she said was, “id have to move to a smaller place”. That was really eye open…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:17 AM
0

Yeah it’s super common but one thing I have noticed, plenty a time, is that the quality of the relationship issue much lower. A lot of men will never know how good it is to be genuinely desired by your partner. Most of the venting and criticisms I see men make about their partners is nothing I can relate to. I think it’s an advantage of having several female friends and women around me. Seeing how they act with a man they genuinely desire versus a man they have to warm up to is crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:57 AM
1

To your last point then women shouldn’t complain about misogynists and bad men they can just date the good ones, right? But I think we agree then, being a misogynist isn’t that big of a deal because there’s plenty of “stupid” women. That’s was the whole point of their resentment. The better way is to be who you want to be, be a good version of that, that aligns with your goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:34 AM
3

So you’ve never heard of virgin being used as an insult? The first point isn’t that he doesn’t see misogyny as a problem, it’s that what he was told was “misogynist are hated by women” and sees that it isn’t always the case. Let’s take this example. You have 2 employees working the same position in the company. One was told that being a good worker who isn’t late is essential to being employed and promoted. He keeps time well and does his work in a timely manner. He sees the other employee come …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 01:23 PM
4

Honestly I don’t know if you are completely missing the point or it’s just something you can’t argue about. If the issue was misogyny and incels and virgins were different then what was the point of virgin being used as an insult. Also your last point is just wow… I don’t want women to date misogynists but last time I checked, women don’t exist to follow my instructions. I don’t have that level of power lol. I don’t want racism and global warming to exist, but unfortunately they still do. My poi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 01:09 PM
5

The whole point of incel and virgin is their inability to attract women and as such they a lower on the pecking order. It’s one of the reasons virgin wasn’t used as an insult to women. There’s plenty of incels and virgins who praise and denounce Elliot Roger. There’s plenty of dudes who get with women and still praise Elliot Roger and Andrew Tate. Also the point of value is that someone of value gets the pleasures that other don’t. So being nice makes= getting women= you have value, in a societa…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 12:37 PM
4

It’s societal. Men have been conditioned since a young age to think that being nice makes you a good person, and good things happen to good people. Similar to the do good in school and you’ll be financially sorted. Then you factor in how men are socialized to think that getting women proves you have value. It’s also instilled by women as their go to insult is something that shows you can’t get the approval of women I.e virgin, incel, gay etc.. Heck there’s women in this sub that say the reason i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 12:17 PM
–

Confirmation bias has created delusions that im absolutely fascinated by. Men get insulted ALL THE TIME… Short men, balding men, small dick men, fat men, skinny men, feminine looking men etc. Heck I’d wager they get more insults as it much more socially acceptable to insult a man. Body positivity goes out the window when they see a man they don’t like. Your point for being ignored rather than ridiculed is dependent on the person and their experience. Some people who are invisible to others yearn…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 08:30 AM
1

The “female privilege” they tend to speak about is desire and the effort that comes in the courting phase. The average woman is way more generally desired, in comparison to the average man. Then there’s also socially more expectations for the man during the dating phase. Women do have a disadvantage when it comes to security and commitment and thus there issues reside there when complaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:14 AM
1

The premise of the post is men complaining about “female privilege”. My comment was explaining that both men and women complain about the other’s privilege and that the “grass is greener” rhetoric is going on. The whole “what do you bring to the table” is an irrational argument. Those factors are different for different people. Also it’s up to the person deciding and that’s where personal accountability comes into play.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:46 AM
6

I’m probably blocked by OP lol. It’s common with everyone and something I see super common with this sub. Some people(yes both men and women) are blind to the priveledge they have and are self centered to think their issues are the only ones. A lot of discourse over here ends up on a pissing context as one side doesn’t empathize with the other, so we get an “oppression Olympics” However as a dude who’s desirable I find I get the best of both worlds. The desirability women have, so I don’t need t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:20 AM
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First of all if you are a fit dude, well-groomed, well-dressed, have a job and are mentally stable, you are wayyy above average. But being above average doesn’t necessarily make you all that desirable if you don’t put yourself out there, have charisma and luck. I’m all those things right now and including the social aspects, I have PLENTY of options. Even when I didn’t, I still did pretty well. You literally have plenty of women complain about dudes leaving shit stains in their underwear. Where …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:22 PM
1

Not really, there’s plenty of women who wouldn’t (emotional, religious, morals etc) can be a great deterrent. I’m not saying the women you mentioned don’t exist but rather what are we talking about when we say relationship oriented? Does a woman whose primary goal is to have relationships, never had anything casual?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 12:03 PM
5

I agree 100%. The issue is not preferences but rather those men, and even some women, dodging accountability. They use generalizations of men/women so as to avoid criticizing their self and having self reflection.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 11:07 AM
4

I’d say it depends. I’ve met way more relationships-only women than women who prefer casual sex. The difference is those women already have an established good level of desire. So there markers tend to sway more on commitment rather than being seen as fuckable. It’s easy for them to get a dude who’d sleep with them so their objectives tend to sway towards commitment and safety, which actually means something to them. A lot of dudes don’t have the same level of general desirability. They can get …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 10:57 AM
8

Yeah but for that you need to understand that men are complex characters and not just exaggerated caricatures so that OP can feel a sense of superiority. The funny thing is that they use the same strategies as people they hate/disagree with and they cannot see the irony.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 01:51 PM
5

I think that it’s dependent on a lot of things. Most men who chase wouldn’t do it if they didn’t have to. Like sitting in traffic to meet up a colleague sounds dreadful to me, but sitting in traffic to meet my partner would have almost no effect. Personally my ego is too high to chase (also enthusiastic consent and desire are important to me) so I never really did. What I did tend to notice was that when I improved myself the less effort was required.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 08:38 AM
11

While I do agree I think it’s a little more complicated than that. There’s things I don’t “like” doing but I want the result of them. I don’t like brushing my teeth, but I want clean teeth and good health. It’s more about what you are okay tolerating for what you actually want. Also a lot of men aren’t highly desired in comparison to women. So they would need to initiate more and put more effort. What I normally advise men is to improve yourself so you don’t have to “jester” for a chance of affe…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 08:25 AM
6

I think it’s multi factorial -biology: while not as concrete, I think hormones play a huge part. It was interesting to see the experience of my friend (trans man) undergoing HRT. -socialization: society has put it in a way that a man who gets a lot of women has a high level of worth. While it’s been generally the opposite with women. -desire: most men aren’t as desired as most women, so their standards of desirability is often lower. A woman who’s not desired tends to have much lower standards t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 08:30 AM
1

She doesn’t have close male friends so it’s more like my homies. But she’s never been key on having male friends. She’s super attractive so she’s never had a male friend who wanted something platonic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 11:40 AM
1

Lmaooo I get that a lot. People assume man over here = Andrew Tate loving incel It’s easier to do that for the sake of arguments
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 11:12 AM
1

Thank you. I have found her and I’m super grateful. I’m not a materialistic person and money has always been more of a tool than the goal. I do exceptionally well but by my spending habits you’d think I make minimum wage lol. My goal of wealth wasn’t materialism but so no one in my life has to suffer again. Luckily my partner is compatible with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 10:59 AM
1

1) PEACE: I think this is the largest one tbf and you could be the perfect woman, but if you don’t bring me peace it doesn’t matter. 2) someone who’s more “trad”: this is highly nuanced as there no actual “trad” person and it’s more of compatibility with gender roles, strong family culture and someone who sacrifices. Funny enough I’m progressive in all politics but I’ve had no issue with this. 3) I’d say physical attraction and sexual compatibility is not even a requirement more like a prerequis…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 10:03 AM
1

I agree and that’s why I feel like it’s pointless to argue with someone’s standards/boundaries/preference no matter how illogical it sounds. There are many women who’ve argued about how men should be okay with their past if they have one and such. Realistically there’s no point. I have many requirements and I’ve noticed people to respond very defensively to them. Even if they don’t want me they feel like not meeting my standards is an insult to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 09:29 AM
9

I find it funny how some women will project onto men. They are so self absorbed in their own life that they presume everyone is. I remember having this discussion in my mixed gender friend group. Most men will go “hey I have a GF” then the others will be “nice” and that’s most of the discourse there. When it was the women in the group they are so intertwined that they ask to see him, what he does, what songs he likes etc. They are also way more open to critiquing the dude and that’s why some wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 07:50 AM
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Personally I think irl approaches are better. Mutual friends, hobbies, clubs etc, work more. But I can’t ignore the fact that I’ve seen way more success from Instagram than OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:52 AM
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I didn’t say they approach men, they get approached way more than not. Most of them don’t need OLD because they get approached in real life (cold approaches, mutual friends, hobbies, events etc.) Instagram is easier because of many factors; -more users: more women use Instagram than tinder so the options are way more. -they feel less “targeted”: dating can create anxiety and when they feel “targeted” they can be avoidant. Instagram creates that abstract feeling so they can relax and even be less…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:42 AM
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Most of the women I know have never used OLD sites and I’ve know a few who would use it for “fun”. As in just to browse when bored and not for dating and hookups. Heck most people are more successful using Instagram than tinder, especially in the under 30 group. The people I know who use OLD sites are new to the city and trying to see what’s out there and entertainment. You’d have way more success on insta DMs than tinder or bumble.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:16 AM
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The reason it doesn’t stick is most men don’t get to be desired in that scale. It’s sort of complaining about only getting McDonalds to people who are starving. The higher your position the more you require. Those men are so low in that position that a woman using them for sex seems amazing. Once you get dudes who don’t have issue getting desirability that’s where the understanding comes in.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:23 AM
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It’s a consequence of the dating environment. I don’t think it’s bad, heck if the alternative was just to focus on looks then most men would be fucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:47 AM
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Eh I don’t think they’d be a huge change, most women would just adjust. You haven’t changed the physical attraction aspect so the biggest effect will probably be on average to below average guys and their chances. Attractive men will get less options but generally not have a large effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 09:13 AM
14

It’s funny how men and women here just speak from insecurities. You are insecure that you don’t offer enough to be genuinely desired by a woman and your skills of vetting a partner. Similar to how women would post about not getting married due to their insecurity of being seen as a sex object. You speak on your friends not loving the rich man, because you think wealth will make you get any woman to desire you. I have none of these fears because I don’t have issues getting genuine desire and my a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 06:48 AM
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Not really. I don’t harbor bad intentions for women. I’m just observing something that happens to me. I’m quite successful in the dating scene so I never held resentment for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 06:46 PM
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I’m not assuming the worst. It’s not malicious (unless you count what usually comes after the rejection), it’s just initial shock from a surprising event, it’s not that deep.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 06:44 PM
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Nah if you actually saw them it was like they were malfunctioning. It’s like standing in line and when you get to the front the server just says “no”. Ofc there was disappoint and others lashing out. But the confusion was there initially. I honestly think yall underestimate how often men get rejected. Even a 10% success rate is still pretty good.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 05:38 PM
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It depends on what you consider success. A woman approaching will have a huge chance of success on getting dates or even noticed, in comparison to men. But that doesn’t significantly affect the quality of relationship she might have. People who say this talk about success in terms of getting dates. I think you vastly overestimate the success rates of men. Even super attractive men get rejected more than not (if it is just a straight up approach with no/little strategy). I have rejected women and…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 05:12 PM
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That’s because people tend to think their issues is the only ones that matter and are blinded by their own priveledges. Thats why I find it pointless to argue who has it better and who doesn’t. It all depends on what you have, don’t have and the specific situation. People like comparing the dating experience of the average man and average woman. You can’t directly compare them due to different experiences and challenges.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 05:06 PM
27

It’s because “nice guys” and incels are easy targets that confirm bias. People consider women as morally just so those people doing bad in the dating scene confirms that. The bad dudes who are successful prove it wrong so they not talked about because you’ll actually prove their bias wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 07:12 AM
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Billions of marriages and you think they are the same lol. Such a naive way to look at the world. You can literally say that about anything (friendships, relationships, work etc) Damn I gotta go tell my friends and family members I’m happy relationships that they are just slaves.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:00 PM
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So then marriage isn’t slavery it’s just some who could do it by taking advantage of their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:46 AM
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Sociological stats are highly nuanced and have plenty of limitations. That’s why the scientists and researchers tend to not draw significant and concrete conclusions. Let me give you an example. You are statistically more likely to be murdered by someone you know than a complete stranger. Does that mean you should be less trusting of people you know (family, friends, lovers, acquaintances etc) than absolute strangers?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:43 AM
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So slavery is okay if it’s for the right man??
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:39 AM
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So if you believe that’s what marriage entails (which is a gross generalization of billions of unions) then why if you’ve been together 3-4+ years you should be popping the question. So you believe marriage is slavery for women but it should still happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:38 AM
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*husbands Thanks for the correction.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 11:35 AM
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Doesn’t this contradict your previous point of marriage being slavery or are you advocating for women to join “slavery”?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:54 AM
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Men/women benefit from marriage is too general and ignores nuance. There’s so many factors, marriage structures, cultures, personalities, situations to make such a generalized conclusion. You’ll have some women say it’s bad for women and use horrible marriages with abusive husbands. You’ll have some men say it’s bad for men and use horrible marriages with abusive wives. All these discussions break down to “my homeboy/homegirl was in an abusive marriage so it’s bad for men/women. There’s ones usi…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:04 AM
0

I think it’s the transaction aspect is due to desire of both genders. Generally most men would sleep with most women, so being desired sexually by most men isn’t that important for a lot of women. The effort in romance is more rare so it actually makes them feel special and wanted. The opposite is true for a lot of men. A lot of women are more susceptible to romance and their effort but less susceptible to sleep with them. So sex becomes an indicator of being desired and wanted. So it has become…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:48 AM
2

By society it’s both men and women. Or do women hold no influence in society whatsoever?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 07:14 PM
2

Did you not see the limitations I brought up in my previous point. How can you have accurate data with the limitations I’ve brought up? Do you also understand what contextualization is?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:15 PM
2

How can you confidently say that after all the points I’ve brought up. Are you omniscient or just in denial?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:11 PM
7

almost everyone who was raped was raped by a man There’s plenty of people raped by women that; 1) were never taken seriously 2) rationalized it because “women weak” 3) didn’t even know or come to terms that they were raped 4) Can’t even be legally considered as rape as the woman didn’t have a penis So how can you account for those variable and give me an accurate statistics about rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:40 PM
5

lol so male victims from female perpetrators don’t count
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:04 PM
9

If a small percentage of men represents the majority then it opens a bad precedent. lol accusing me of being defensive and an offender is absolutely hilarious. Answer this, what percentage of a group do we use to generalize another?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:14 PM
6

It’s more of a toxic result in how men are socialized. You could view it similar to the advice of “work hard in school and you’ll be financially successful”. The resentment is then fueled when men have issues dating they are generally categorized as misogynistic or there’s something wrong with them. Society also enables this view as most insults for men is his inability to attract women (virgin, gay, incel etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:09 PM
14

I think this is a great case of people not understanding stats and science and using it to just confirm their bias. Let’s take rape as an example. The vast majority of men don’t rape so the ones who do represent a small number of men. So can we extrapolate that small number of men as the general view of how men act. If so then can we do that for everything. Let’s take online scams, can I say that since majority of it comes from India I could generalize Indians as scammers? Also another interesti…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 12:52 PM
8

Dude people in this sub are so out of touch it’s actually crazy. They put women on this pedestal that they don’t like sex and can only have it with a deep emotional bond. I’m not saying there’s women who can’t do that but it’s hilariously out of touch.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 11:11 AM
30

Yeah just like those previous posts, people gender issues that literally affect both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:01 AM
1

lol got any proof or is this just a generalization anyone can make. I think yall should stop generalizing from dudes who don’t get any. Most men who actually do well don’t just see success from sleeping with a woman. That shit is easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:32 PM
0

So they should start a date by “hi I’m so and so and I will not be having sex with you” according to this or we can be reasonable and assume communication nuance
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:29 PM
2

So the dude should exclaim his intent and always be 100% sure of his intentions should a woman then start the date by saying she will not have sex with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:23 PM
1

Maybe for some, maybe not. Maybe some women consider having sex with that a guy a success, maybe some don’t. Unless you want to generalize both genders experience and intentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:22 PM
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My point is that if you create a point of entitlement then you validate other people’s entitlement. I did not even bring up a woman going on 2 dates that was you. I just said you are saying your entitlement beats other entitlement you disagree with. My personal take is I don’t have entitlements in dating I just do what I want and accept what I want to accept.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:21 PM
2

I don’t know how you got that from my comment lol. It was just in general, political, emotional, sexual and personality compatibility. Also I don’t know if you just didn’t understand my point but your second paragraph is literally the opposite of what I said. I don’t believe in “stringing along” others (unless there was a communicated agreement). My whole point is not having expectations and just dating with my standards and boundaries in mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 01:29 PM
1

Eh that’s why I say it’s all relative. 1 or 2 dates might not seem like any effort to you but it might to someone else. That’s why I think arguing on which expectation or entitlement is rather pointless (unless spoken and agreed on). The reason I carry no resentment is because I don’t have expectations or entitlement. If she doesn’t do what I like or prefer I’d just move on. What’s the point of arguing?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 01:10 PM
1

Oh okay. It’s just that comment came off as a Mexican standoff. It’s okay to have boundaries and standards but holding your cards in response feels too much for me. I’d rather be myself and do me, and find someone compatible with that. But if that’s how you want to live then it’s cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 12:51 PM
1

I think OPs post was to point out the hypocrisy of “expectations and entitlement”. How some things (like relationships) are okay to feel entitled to but not others (like sex).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 12:27 PM
2

Personally I don’t like these types of games. It’s just better to find compatible partners than to play game of thrones.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 12:23 PM
2

The “innocence” aspect is highly nuanced and dependent on someone’s morals. You could make the same argument for men who get upset because a woman didn’t sleep with them after their courting effort. I don’t see it as who’s right or wrong, just 2 people with different compatibility. It’s better to just move on rather than argue the abstract morals of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 12:18 PM
1

I’d correct not “yall” but it’s pretty common. This is like saying that men cheating is pretty common, they I say as a man who’s never cheated, men don’t cheat. The reason I say that sure it may not work on you, but to say it doesn’t work at all is devoid of reality. Like let’s say men are attracted to women who throw themselves at them. I’m not attracted to that, so while it’s true I also understand that there’s plenty who would.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 07:23 PM
2

Oh my bad you must speak for all undesirable women. It’s actually been a common “tactic” for some dudes. When they see a group of women they go for the less “attractive” one and their success rate tends to rocket. I’ve also been friends with “undesirable” women before and they would be ecstatic when men show them any form of attention. Am I saying all undesirable women want and act the same? No. But to deny that is common means you are super detached from reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 07:11 PM
7

Baggy clothes women get approached all the time. My partner and female friends actually have less as approaches dressing “immodestly”. You do also understand that women like to be sexualized under some cases. If a dude approaches her and she finds him hot and wants to have sex with him she’ll be more responsive. I feel like a lot of people here don’t socialize as much in real life. This notion that women don’t want sex or can’t have sex unless being deep in love isn’t the set standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 09:33 AM
5

I think the point was over saturation of the supply of men. Most women are seen as desirable so they often have men consistently approaching them. The value of that approach and desire is lowered due to the constant supply. A lot of women who aren’t seen as desirable tend to want or appreciate that approach more. That’s why they tend to relate more to the average guy. I don’t think that change would realistically happen though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 09:15 AM
6

Often the red pill vs blue pill discourse is about generalizing genders into extremes so as to feed their bias. Red pill acts like women are these evil scammers that you need to scam before they scam you. While blue pillers are normally dismissive to critiques against women by saying that doesn’t happen. For their arguments to exist they need to create extreme tribalism with no room for nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 12:11 PM
19

It’s popular among straight women but from what I’ve gathered, it’s due to the focus of pleasure being on the woman. Most straight porn is geared to tender to male pleasure so it’s less popular among women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 12:01 PM
16

The main gripe with blue pill is that often time they treat women as a benevolent good monolith. There’s billions of women, some amazing and moral, some horrible people and most lie somewhere in between. Looks, money and status has an effect, but like everything else it’s context dependent on the person. The emiru case is more like people date others in similar spaces. Artists tend to date artists, streamers tend to date streamers etc. So we can’t definitely state that’s what attracted her to hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:59 AM
4

Yeah and OP is misrepresenting and a “poor lil damsel being bullied by these monstrous men”. It was just a bad premise that was criticized with some proper irony lol. Whyd you think they didn’t reply to my comment. She needs to maintain that victim delusion
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 06:25 AM
7

Yeah I think for you to see positive masculinity you need to do it in the framework of a more traditional role. You can’t really be against gender roles and traits and support positive masculinity. The conflict people and probably OP has with it is the feeling of being in purgatory. A lot of young men have been taught to abolish gender roles and traits but also to upkeep “masculinity”.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:07 PM
3

Yeah it’s going to be difficult/ impossible to actually get those numbers. Most people just use their life experience. In mine, I see men attempt to cheat more but women are more successful in cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 10:37 AM
23

So I was in the old thread that highly likely inspired this one. The main issue with the take was that you gendered an issue and to interact with your premise you had to accept that issue was gendered. You accepted that not all men did it and that women do it too, so your premise in itself is faulty. You then hilariously became defensive on your post about men not being able to take criticism and that they become defensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:09 AM
12

One thing I have noticed, especially in this sub, a lot of people are so out of touch with reality and spend time fighting ghosts they made up. Like recently a female poster stated that most men would prefer a woman who’s financially dependent on them than one who is not. Another male poster said that women can never love you u less you are a 6’5 millionaire. So many folks are so detached from reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 06:47 PM
13

You should see those women use the same arguments incels use, it’s quite funny. In real life people just go about their lives. The internet just has a way of making things look bigger than they actually are.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 06:38 PM
3

Meh this sub is funny. I’ve been downvoted and upvoted for the same takes lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 06:34 PM
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*365 days and a wonderful GF Life’s great :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:18 PM
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I don’t think you need to. They don’t actually talk to women in real life lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:52 PM
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That wouldn’t change anything because they need their victimhood. They are like the people they hate, they can’t take accountability in their own lives. Every time I see these dudes whine about chaste women they tend to only orbit promiscuous ones. Billions of women on the planet you can’t find a virgin?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:39 PM
6

That’s because most people here are looking to vent and confirm their bias. Social issues are heavily multifaceted and nuanced so they try to oversimplify to force the situation into right or wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:34 PM
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Tats because these folks exaggerate reality and only focus on the extremes. It’s either women are these poor little babies that get tricked by some complex villain or women are these evil beings that fall in love with the devil because he gave them a flower. In reality majority of the cases lies somewhere in between. Yes there’s plenty of women who get played and there’s plenty of women that lack accountability.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:28 PM
11

Yeah it’s not really one situation is better than the other. I have 2 close female friends who are bisexual and their take is different. One prefers dating men, because in her view men are “easier” to deal with and “ask for less”. The other one prefers being in a relationship with women because she finds it easier to have deep connections with women. Different people will have different views and experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 11:52 AM
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I’d say my case wasn’t the norm. Most dudes who have the glow up also improve how attractive their personality is. I was the same person with just an improved body and hair lol. I’m not going to lie the difference in my experience was pretty crazy though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:42 AM
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I think there more nuance to it. As someone who had a physical glow up I can attest to it. Even when I was “below average” in terms of looks I still did pretty well in dating. I had confidence, emotional intelligence and charisma that really helped. However after my glow up I noticed a huge difference. My jokes were funnier, I was perceived as more intelligent and hardworking, my faults were given the benefit of the doubt. This isn’t exclusive to women but I disagree when people look at physical…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 09:47 AM
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You’re standardizing masculinity, while it’s something arbitrary and can look different to different people/cultures. For example there’s some cultures that the man should be served first before everyone else, while others the man should be served last. You can’t really have a fixed standard on masculinity. Chivalry can be seen as masculine to some and others will think “servicing” others is weak and not masculine. Thats why being performative depends on perception. People can take something dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 07:19 AM
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I mean there no point in this it’s just 2 different people with differing opinions. I get to enjoys my life and feeling sexually satisfied and you get to enjoy a drop off sex. It’s literally like arguing that non monogamy is wrong. Yeah sure it wouldn’t be appropriate for some people who are monogamous and vice versa. So I’m happy for you, if you’re happy with your situation, or I’m sorry if you aren’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 04:19 PM
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So let’s say you meet your partner you enter a relationship and after 2 years he says he’ll never have sex with you will you stay? Do you endorse people to stay in unhappy dead bedroom relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 03:16 PM
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I disagree that men in this sub don’t want a relationship. You literally have plenty of blue pill, red pill, others who have disagreeing views all the time. But I do understand your need to generalize as it fuels your confirmation bias. Also you are 100% fine in not prioritizing sex. People want/need different things in relationships. Heck there’s asexual people who wouldn’t want to have sex anyways. If not having sex with your partner doesn’t affect you, then great but demonizing people into st…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:09 PM
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I’m confused do you want names?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 01:18 PM
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Be a gentleman, pay for the date, plan for the date, open the door for her and you’ll “get” the girl. Thats why you get those dudes who think that way and “nice guys”. It’s similar to the work hard, study hard and you’ll get rich. It sets an expectation for the effort. So when it doesn’t work out there’s resentment
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 01:08 PM
5

Your whole premise is that men don’t consider themselves defensive and people are saying that women also do the same thing. The irony is that you’ve become defensive on being criticized for your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:40 PM
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Need in this case isn’t the dude will spontaneously combust if he doesn’t have sex. It’s more like he needs to have a healthy sex life to be in a happy relationship. Can I say the same thing about emotional intimacy. If someone says they need emotional intimacy to be in a happy relationship, should I correct them and say “well actually it’s a want”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:30 PM
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I find it hilarious you’re using low IQ when you can’t understand how language is used. “I’d kill for a burger, that’s how hungry I am” “Oh so you’ll murder someone do a burger, hello police…” Do yall even interact with people irl?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:27 PM
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So your issue is the word used? Do you do this in real life situations. “I need a big burger right now” “Well actually you want a big burger”
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:21 PM
5

My point wasn’t against the fidelity aspect. But I think most of these posts are just pointlessly gendered. My experience holds truth, similar to how your experience holds truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:19 PM
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That’s true, both genders enable toxicity from the way they were socialized. I don’t agree with those dudes but this is how it happens
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:17 PM
5

The irony is pretty hilarious lol. Posts over here have become “men do this, yes not all men and yes women also do this but I want to talk about men doing this”
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:12 PM
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There many women who want and will sleep with men who pay for the date. Women aren’t some benevolent good, there’s plenty of women with differing views. Also I like how you purposely dodge my example of emotional intimacy. I don’t want any moral obligation and women don’t “give” sex. Your view of sexuality is very toxic. I just go for people compatible with me. I’ll never pressure or coerce sex from someone I’ll just leave and be with someone more compatible
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:06 PM
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The dating aspect is more on how men are socialized. We are taught since young “do this and women will like you”, so majority of the time it’s resentment. They plan and pay for the date not because that’s something they want to do but something they’re socialized into doing. The sex aspect is just you projecting what sex means to you onto others. Many people need a healthy sex life in their relationship. It’s like saying if you don’t get emotional intimacy in a relationship and want that it mean…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 11:57 AM
2

That’s because it’s super lucrative. People have made millions catering to confirm other’s bias. There was that red pill “guru” who’s preached about not dating single moms and going for only younger women. Then got married to a single mom in her 40s. Recently there was a female influencer who’s preached about not getting married and marriage is slavery for women, then announced her engagement to a dude she’s know for like 6 months.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 11:03 AM
5

That’s not what I said. My point was can we extrapolate it to women as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 10:45 AM
5

So then you agree with the men that portray women as gold diggers due to their lived experience and the fact that it’s a trope. Or let me guess that’s different?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 10:39 AM
6

It’s common for people here to use niche groups to confirm their bias. I know the exact situation they say and to extrapolate barbershop chit chat to men is hilarious. Those dudes also believe in reptile people and that Beyoncé drinks blood to remain youthful. I’ve worked with nurses and they also say some toxic wild shit, but I don’t extrapolate those views to women in general. This is like those incels that see a couple tiktoks about women bashing men’s height and say that no man will be desir…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 10:20 AM
19

While I agree a lot of women “can’t handle the truth” in the sense that they idealize situations way more often than men, this isn’t an excuse to not tell her anyway. I’ve been in so many situations where I’m fully honest and transparent. They appreciate it at first but when that goes against the reality they’ve created in their mind then there’s conflict. Still this hasn’t dissuaded me from telling the truth, my strategy has just shifted more.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 10:09 AM
6

I meant it as genuinely high. Many men just get moderate desire that leads to all that resentment and arguments. This prompt is part of that issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:08 PM
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I’m on the same boat. Also people don’t realize attraction isn’t a competition between partners. I find her super attractive and she finds me super attractive. OP is speaking out of the insecurity of not being desired.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 01:47 PM
2

I think it was more about attraction. Your jokes can be unfunny but if she likes you she’ll find you hilarious. The effort you put will be way more appreciated if she likes you. Have you seen how women treat men they genuinely desire vs the dudes that they have a moderate desire of?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 12:25 PM
3

It’s mostly because a lot of men get away with it. If there was a combined agenda for women to stay away from these men then they’d be more uncommon. I see a post every couple of days about a woman complaining about her partners streak marks in their underwear. I have gone out with a couple of attractive women that ended up having lack luster personalities and low effort. So when I cut it off they be bewildered by that fact. Their shock comes from the fact that most men they dated tolerated thos…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 06:41 PM
2

People who disagree with this just haven’t been around a lot of women, especially platonically.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 06:35 PM
10

Hypergamy is iffy at best. Who decides the value system and the value of a person? Isn’t up to the 2 people in the relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 10:03 AM
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I find the irony quite funny. They are similar to the people they hate and aren’t able to see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 07:50 AM
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The amount of times I’ve been either called gay, small dick or having a drink thrown at me for rejecting a woman contradicts that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 07:39 AM
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I don’t know why we treat people happiness as something mutually exclusive. Making my partner happy makes me happy and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 03:41 AM
1

What about it do you not understand? If you go outside, ask men if they prefer a partner who’s financially dependent on them or one who’s financially independent, who do you think most men would choose?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 12:54 PM
4

So if those men make generalizations and you disagree with it, your solution is to do the same thing you disagree with? Also it’s interesting how you dodged my question lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 12:51 PM
5

So is men or the ones who have trouble dating? You can’t even see the irony because if a dude made some generalizations from women online yall would tell him to go touch grass. In this economy having a partner that depends on you financially is impossible for most. Most people are financially struggling and the ones who are doing okay can’t afford single provider homes. If you go outside and ask men if they want a partner who’s financially dependent on them or someone who’s financially stable wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 12:47 PM
2

Most men don’t hate it. It’s actually the opposite. If your view of men comes from niche online corners then yeah you might think so. It’s similar to how those dudes use a couple of tiktoks to make generalized opinions on women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 12:37 PM
2

That’s because there’s many variations within those types of relationships. Both 50-50 and a more “trad” style are heavily customized by people themselves. You can have 2 couples in a 50-50 style and they still would have differences tailored to them. Same as the more traditional style. These systems are more like guidelines rather than strict rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 12:22 PM
3

Yeah the economic environment heavily restricts these type of relationships. It’s been a goal of mine so I’ve worked on it since I was a child. While some people might want it, they aren’t capable of doing it healthily.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 09:54 AM
3

That’s like saying you shouldn’t be in relationships because there’s abusive relationships around. My point wasn’t about bad relationships but rather compatibility. There’s still many 50-50 style relationships that fail. It’s not the system but rather the participants.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 09:45 AM
3

Not necessarily. I think you misunderstand my point. I’m not saying women should be forced to be home makers or that men should be forced to be providers. If you want a home maker there’s plenty of women who would love to do it. If you want a provider there’s plenty of men who would love to do it. We’re in a progressive society so there’s plenty of ways you can choose to have your relationship dynamic. You shouldn’t be forced to take part in strategies that aren’t good for you or that you don’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 09:32 AM
3

Yeah I agree that a bang maid is an oppressive idea. But women are and have been proud to be housewives for entirely different things too. The point of women’s liberation is their ability to choose what they want to do and not forced to live their life a certain way. I’ve met many young women that would love to be a stay at home mom but social pressure and economic pressure has made it practically unattainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 09:28 AM
2

The issue is that you’re looking at this as something someone’s forced to do. It’s more of a relationship/lifestyle strategy. Some people would love it and find it more compatible with what they want, others won’t. A large part of relationships is finding someone compatible with you and not jamming them to something they won’t want to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 09:15 AM
15

Yeah the term itself denotes oppression. A bang maid is more of an employee rather than a loved partner. Similar to the difference between being a provider and being an ATM machine.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 09:01 AM
2

I think this is another case of putting women on a pedestal. When women compliment those qualities it’s the standard appropriate ones to have. There’s plenty that are more abstract that they wouldn’t even know. It’s partly the reason a lot of women are bad at giving guys advice for increasing their desirability.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:49 PM
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There’s a lot to unpack here. I don’t know why we see sexual intimacy as something outside of being in a relationship. There’s plenty of different types of intimacy used to connect with your partner. Most people would like having emotional intimacy, platonic intimacy and sexual intimacy to have a fulfilled relationship. Sure it might not be that important for you and it’s okay. But using your views to dictate whether people love each other or not is pretty narcissistic. Also just like incels I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 09:11 AM
6

I find debates like this are rather pointless to an extent. Hypocrisy and victimhood transcend gender. If people self reflected and took accountability then the gender wars cease to exist. There billions of men and women and since they aren’t a monolith then there’s all types of people to engage. The men and women who complain do so because self reflection and accountability is work and they’d rather complain.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 10:36 AM
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Attractiveness is subjective but there are some general trends. I’d say women’s attraction isn’t necessarily the same as ours. Often time their attraction comes with subtext. From my experience I’ve noticed women aren’t just attracted to physical traits but rather how those traits make them FEEL. I think that’s where a lot of people get it wrong. They then see it as 2 mutually exclusive things (attraction vs personality) instead of a combination.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 10:08 AM
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I think yall are actually in agreement. Your conventional looks aren’t the point but rather her attraction to you. I’m in the same boat in which my partner is WAY more attractive than me, but direct competition is pointless. There are plenty of women in relationships with men they aren’t that attracted to. It’s possible but the quality of that relationship is so bad I’d rather be single than live like them. A lot of men are okay with these mediocre relationships because that’s all they know.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:47 AM
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This is true. Most men who have this issue is because they don’t meet women who have a high level of desire for them. They are just moderately desired so these “rules” actually apply to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:31 AM
7

So a woman who’s attracted to your money shows genuine desire and isn’t a gold digger. Doesn’t that also conflict with the beta buxx thing. I have been on both ends of the financial spectrum and I can tell you it has little to no effect on my ability to get women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 01:12 PM
11

The issue with the red pill is the same as the blue pill. People who want to pigeon hold life into confirming their views and bias. Thats why when you point out things they are against that work they dismiss it as anomalies. If the message of the red pill was just work on your looks, confidence, put yourself out there and stop putting women on a pedestal they’d receive almost no push back. The issues are generalizing women to confirm their bias. Stuff like she’ll leave if you show weakness or sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 12:52 PM
3

Yeah I left out more dastardly stuff because I thought it didn’t need to be said. So I was focused on more of the gray areas. The skid marks thing is actually crazy, because it’s relatively common.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:36 PM
1

Not necessarily but I do find opposing views interesting. I also frequent red pill/ incel groups as a way to challenge views so that people who aren’t deep into it have a good chance of being reformed. You’re also wrong about the decentering men movement. I’ve been seeing plenty of discourse and videos and can play a drinking game with how much men are mentioned. Hell even women in those movements critique the fact. Most decentring movements can’t exist long term because the people who do would …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:34 PM
4

There’s many things -emotional stability: a lot of dudes don’t understand women’s emotions and the importance of it. They either neglect it or don’t know how to handle it. -acts of service: there was once an ex of mine who was sick so I made her some food and took care of her. Her roommates acted like I was the best BF in the world. -reliability: one of my biggest pro lol. -sex: most men are selfish, toxic and don’t understand woman’s sexuality (see orgasm gap). This one really helped in not jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:17 PM
1

But the catch is that they don’t decenter themselves. If they did really they won’t just be talking about men. I’m not equating them in terms of damage but it rather the idea. If I am a woman who wants to decenter men from my life why would I just be talking about them the whole time. If your opinion of a group is swayed by random posts from a handful of full of people then I think you should just stick to wholesome cooking vids and cat videos.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:06 PM
2

I mean you can say the same thing that some women post here too. A lot of posts are so specific they feel targeted to someone and not really debates. Also there women who’ve “given up” on men and still talk about men all the time. The decentralizing men movement is literally parallel to MGTOW. The people who actually give up spend their time focusing on their hobbies and work. You losing your admiration for men because of some men’s takes is like a dude saying that he’s losing faith in women bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 02:56 PM
3

Then they aren’t a “nice guy”, just an asshole. There’s also plenty of dudes in relationships with women who “punish” them due to the past dudes. It also doesn’t help that toxic traits in women are seen more empathetically than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 01:52 PM
3

I’d say yes and no. I benefit from shitty guys by just doing what I thought was normal. Come to find out that it isn’t that common, so naturally I’d get praised for it. But there’s also negatives that other “good” men face, such as “punishment” for the bad guys mistakes. It’s super common for women to project other guys failings onto a “safe” person.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 01:43 PM
0

I meant it’s irrelevant to the women’s day to day lives. The red pill isn’t mainstream and more of a popular online niche. Most people irl don’t even know it exists. Also the issue isn’t helping young men but rather twisting that help into toxicity and grifting. Most of the popular online red pill gurus are just grifters preying on younger vulnerable men. There’s a difference in telling a man who’s struggling to improve his looks and social ability, than to tell him women won’t be attracted to y…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:54 AM
5

I wouldn’t say it’s coded by nature but rather society. Both men and women see women as more of victims so it’s enabled more in women. It’s changed a little bit nowadays as more men are being seen as victims too. Red pill/ incels would just be called names and ignored back in the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:11 AM
2

Especially nowadays with the shift to a more online society. Its nerfed a lot of people and feeds the self-fulling prophecy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:08 AM
5

I mean a lot of red pill/incels harass plenty of women online too. My point was victimization isn’t inherently gendered.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:06 AM
-1

Yeah. Most people lack the ability to self reflect and take accountability. It’s much easier projecting it towards a certain “evil”. If this were to happen, online gendered discourse would be cut down by like 90% lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 10:54 AM
2

They are irrelevant in their day to day lives and a lot of women like dunking on easy targets. However we can’t ignore the dangers of these spaces in terms of alt right pipeline, radicalizing young men and harassing women both online and irl. If these spaces were actually about helping and improving men then most people wouldn’t really care. It’s the normalization of toxicity and the effects it’ll have on society.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 09:24 AM
2

I don’t know about your experiences but this is quite the norm. People have even coined it as the talking stage. Yeah if it’s for pure hookups then it won’t matter as much and people might overlook it. I think the shift is actually moving towards more of the extreme, due to societies relationship with the internet. I know some young folks that would talk online and FaceTime for months before going on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 08:53 AM
5

It’s about validation and a way to confirm their bias. The beauty of the internet is that vast diverse ideas. Whatever horrible take you have, you’ll find people who agree with it. The anonymity also aids in this because you have less social consequences for your take.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 08:47 AM
1

I’m not saying that it’s impossible. But when you go to your local Walmart, cafe, parks etc. do you see normal couples of 1 dude walking around with 10 women?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 12:47 PM
1

So is sexuality a choice?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 06:51 PM
2

So then gay dudes could just stop and be straight, there’s no issue with that whatsoever right?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:24 PM
2

Using an argument from people you find wrong just also makes you wrong. I disagree with white supremacy not because other races are more supreme but I disagree that there IS a supreme race.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:02 PM
2

Imma simplify it for you -sexuality is not a choice and LBGTQ+ community has been fighting against that notion. -saying men should just go fuck other men implies that sexuality is a choice (if they aren’t gay or bi). -the notion of sexuality being a choice gave birth to “pray the gay away” and concentration camps. Which had huge ramifications for the gay community.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:57 AM
1

They do all the time. That’s why the main talking point for incels is looksmatches.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:51 AM
1

You know you can just not do that right. I’m a pretty picky guy so like 97% of women are not people I’d go for. Using this to dunk on men you don’t agree with has ramifications on people who are working hard to fight their oppression
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:50 AM
1

Then why not use unattractive women? Or are you saying that all the men who are attracted to a woman are desired by that woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:48 AM
1

It’s still the same narrative, just the other way around. It’s like supporting black supremacy. By doing so you create the narrative that a race can be superior than another. By invalidating straightness you say that there should be a more “valid” sexuality. Which homophobes have been using to oppress gay people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:45 AM
1

if they want casual sex they can hop on grinder So this has nothing to do with homosexuality, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:43 AM
1

No I’m actually concerned about gay people and have gay friends. You’re tactic of using harmful people’s rhetoric ends up actually harming gay people. They’ve spent decades fighting their oppression so that they can live their true selves. One of the biggest obstacles was the notion that sexuality is a choice. You’re fueling that narrative to, dunk on men you don’t like???
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:41 AM
1

So are you insinuating they are actually straight then?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:38 AM
10

Choosing other guys doesn’t invalidate your sexuality. This would make more sense if you say choose other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:38 AM
2

Exactly because they aren’t, just in the same way I can’t choose to be gay.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:35 AM
5

But saying go to grinder implies that it is a choice. You could literally type this comment as the post. Saying men could choose to be gay and go on dating website implies sexuality is a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:32 AM
4

That literally goes against your point. If being straight is heavily enforced then that would make being gay a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:22 AM
4

So then what about all those gay dudes who’ve suffered their whole lives due to homophobia. Why don’t they just choose to be straight?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:20 AM
6

That’s not how sexuality works. If you can choose to be straight then you can choose to be gay.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:18 AM
19

This is a harmful rhetoric that damages the LGBT+ communities. You are insinuating sexuality is a choice and not just who you are. Dunking on men while using minority groups as collateral is an interesting tactic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:11 AM
7

This would be interesting but it’s simply not true. There’s plenty of broke, ugly and short guys who still have partners. Anyone who actually interacts with the real world and limits their bias would know. When you go out, do you see 1 dude walking around with 10 women or more 1-1 couples? These kind of takes are so devoid of reality, they can only exist online and in echo chambers.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:41 AM
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It’s mostly low self esteem and entitlement issues. The low self esteem is that they cannot see themselves “above” that person so they try to drag them down instead. The entitlement comes from expecting people to be side characters of your life rather than actual people. So their “mistakes” aren’t theirs, but an affront to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:36 AM
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Yup. The idea that these women are “ruined” is the fantasy of punishment. I knew a dude who used to talk shit about single moms and we came to find out he has 2 baby mamas. The hate is mostly misplaced.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 09:06 AM
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It’s a sense of entitlement those men have. They feel entitled to those women so them diverging from the path those men have set in their heads, leads to “punishment” ( being a single mom). It’s the whole “Nice guy” schtick. Which I find kind of funny. Why would you want someone you look down on?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 08:57 AM
14

Lmaooo these the type of conversations you get trapped into waiting in line at the barbershop.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 06:12 PM
10

That’s because a lot of dudes put women on a pedestal. Like they are the arbiters of morality and aren’t dumb. Most mentally sound and quality women aren’t getting pregnant by convicts. If we were to generalize men the same way then it’ll be a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 06:11 PM
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Not necessarily. There’s way less women than men on dating apps. Most women use dating apps as something to do when bored and not actually looking for a partner. There’s also a lesser known effect. Dating apps feel targeted so often times women have their guard up even more. A chat during run club has way more potential. Men who do well in dating sites do well in real life also. While there’s men who don’t do as well online but have much more successes in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 09:28 AM
3

People tend to be drawn to easy answers. Nuance creates complexities that aren’t easily explained so it might create anxiety. That’s where you get the “work hard and you’ll succeed” or “be nice to women and you’ll get a partner”. It also reaffirms their bias. Women want tall men and not me, so I shouldn’t feel bad about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:37 PM
2

Being a great conversationalist and having good social intelligence is more of an art. A lot of men want the simplistic explanation for dating. It’s why they tend to think tall and handsome means you’ll be more successful. They don’t want the nuance and complexities. They also don’t really understand a lot of women and how they think. I’d also add that most people aren’t that great at it (and they don’t even know it) so that’s why they don’t see its value.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:20 PM
4

It’s really underrated. Not just in romantic relationships but in friendships, family, work and other daily life situations. Most people tend to focus on looks and wealth as a strategy and end up neglecting social intelligence. When I was below average looking and broke, I still had no issues getting women. I ended up maxing out my charisma and social skills and when I improved my looks, dating has been a cake walk.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:54 PM
2

So an example will be how I use my conversation skills. Create a conversation based off platonic vibes with a mixture of flirtation. Listen more so you get to know the person. Create a safe space with an “out” so she feels less trapped and more engaged. A lot of people underestimate the value of being a good conversationalist in attracting women. It’s one of my main strategies and has given me a lot of successes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:45 PM
5

This is one of the main issues I see. When I speak on self improvement I don’t say it in the essence of “do this and you’ll have a swarm of women around you”. The people you speak of are looking for excuses. I deal with probability instead of absolutes. Improving yourself will increase your chances but not guarantee it. But my main point is focusing on yourself rather than improving to get women. I see attracting women as a by product rather than the objective. You also speak on fitness and I se…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:41 PM
7

Strategies are both in the red pill and the blue pill. The main difference is effectiveness and ethics. As someone who’s very socially intelligent I understand that unethical strategies prove to be the most effective if your goals is just getting women. However my self respect doesn’t allow me to use them, not just due to morals, but putting myself low proves that I’m not of quality. I use strategies that some would consider blue pill (great conversationalist, make her laugh etc.) but with what …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:04 PM
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I mean even media created by women have a level of standards. The wattpad stories don’t have a short, balding nerdy man as the love interest. Also this notion that since the patriarchy was created by men you shouldn’t complain, is toxic. Most men have no way of media influence and plenty of women uphold the patriarchy itself. It’s not the boys vs the girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 01:13 PM
–

This smells of a personality disorder , I’d run away quick. She’s going through things and just like alcohol, you were her escape. She didn’t like you for you, but rather a side character to her dysfunction. You were attached by a sense of duty and her showering you with attention. Best case to move on and work on what drew you to her.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 08:48 AM
2

Yeah big dawg, race isn’t anything to hold you back in dating. The others play a significant role.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 07:04 AM
1

I don’t think it’s all about money or being a celebrity. There’s more lowkey cases, like; -How you affect the room. -Do your peers respect you -Do you have a healthy social circle -Do you have women around you
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 07:45 AM
24

100% The people who do don’t have that many women in their life platonically. My friends have drastically different types, they even joke they won’t have the issue of them fighting for a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 01:59 PM
6

I agree but often there is something you can do. It’s just nowadays the advice is tailored to have instant results. It’s more of increasing your probability. Like working out for example, I know dudes who by the 3rd workout expected women to be throwing themselves at them. Self improvement and desire is a highly nuanced topic, but since people don’t want complicated things, you get red pill and looksmaxing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 01:47 PM
7

Yeah me having female friends has always helped in relationships. They like the fact that I can interact and be friendly with women without being desperate for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 12:22 PM
9

I personally think the friendzone doesn’t really exist. If you have romantic expectations and they don’t you can easily walk away. This is like drawing a line in the sand and saying you are stuck. But as a guy with female friends I do agree the potential opportunities of getting with their friends. There’s also a halo effect aspect that some women will end up being more attracted to you. It’s happened to me plenty of times.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 12:12 PM
33

I do agree that most men haven’t been genuinely desired and that women’s dating advice, while well intentioned, is not that effective. The problem is that the opposite of the online pick up artists also is pretty ineffective. A more nuanced approach is needed. There’s too many factors and situations to give a one size fits all advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 11:59 AM
3

While there many things that affect “good social skills”, it doesn’t necessarily mean it doesn’t exist. There so many things that go into it; how people treat you, humor, charisma, reading the room, seduction etc. Yeah having good social skills helps a lot but it is true that attraction can boost how people perceive you. I find it really boost average to below average looking dudes and is often neglected.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 09:44 AM
12

It’s simple really men aren’t victims only women are. When society negatively affects women we should be nice and help them. If society negatively affects men then it’s men’s fault and/or self inflicted.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 07:22 AM
1

Who do you think has more people chasing them, the average man or the average woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:30 PM
3

It’s because most people don’t self reflect, do effective self improvement, weak boundaries and don’t try enough. Of course there caveats with people who are horribly disabled and such. But I saw when the incel sub used to do selfies and most of them looked average with no trying whatsoever. I used to be less attractive than some but still did well in dating. Heck I know some goblin looking dudes in happy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:49 PM
8

A lot of red pill ideas contradict each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:27 PM
4

I don’t agree that the high desire is that 1-2% in general but her 1-2%. The issue is that people try and standardize attraction. I have never been the 1-2% but I’ve also never had issues finding women that see me as their 1-2%
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:27 PM
7

No I don’t think anyone should accept low desire or low effort. I personally think people should have higher standards and be pickier.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:24 PM
1

The difference is most men’s scope of desire is much wider than most women’s. He’s hit on both but the difference is effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:03 PM
11

The confusion is brought on to the fact that women don’t ONLY desire the top 1%. I’m nowhere near that and I have plenty of women who have desired me, including one right now. You are right that a lot of women do have responsive desire but it can change due to a lot of things. The better way is to look at desire on a scale. There’s high desire, moderate desire, low desire and no desire. Most men fall in moderate and low and that’s where you get the whole courtship aspect. There’s often times dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:57 AM
1

While I agree there some men who lack understanding and are sexually selfish, and this might affect it. There’s so many factors going into this that simplifying the issue is inadequate. Sexual frequency, freakiness, mental health, hormones, age etc. These are also other factors that can affect sexual compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:45 AM
7

Literally the main one, provision. Other aspects of high sexual selectivity are also included.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 05:59 PM
1

Ideally yes. But I’ve been told that multiple times when I spoke about sexual compatibility. It’s normally defensive and their inability to not see men as the “villain”. I spoke about how waiting is not something I wish to do so I move on. Then I was told that I just wanted to get my dick wet.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 05:55 PM
11

Dude they do it all the time. -they complain about giving their spouse money and feeling like an ATM. -they complain about alimony -they don’t want to have multiple back breaking jobs -they complain about women not putting out quick enough Etc
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 05:52 PM
2

Unfortunately it’s quite common to shame the man and misrepresent it to “he only wants sex”. There’s many times in this sub I’ve had to argue against it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 05:45 PM
13

Yup that’s what red pill normally does. Like I’ve seen many red pillers complain about gold diggers, but then they tell men to make a lot of money so you can attract women. To want a trad stay at home wife but complain about their trad roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 05:43 PM
7

Some men blame women. Some women blame men. People with accountability and understanding realize “blame” doesn’t matter whatsoever. They are busy working on themselves, being happily single, being happily in a relationship and enjoying other aspects of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 05:27 PM
–

It’s not exceptions it’s a lack of nuance. There are other several things that could make her go slow. You are framing it as just desire as the main thing. Also scientifically if there’s many cases of exceptions then your hypothesis isn’t accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:06 PM
5

Then those men should take accountability in their choice. No one is out here putting a gun to your head to date a gold digger.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:42 PM
–

Some men like getting shot on they chest. Just like how men online have overestimated height standards women have overestimated the Madonna-whore complex. Like yeah I’m sure out of the billions of men you’d find some dudes who think like this, but why even entertain them. Why spend time and effort to prove yourself to them?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:38 PM
–

“Oh sex on the second date, what a wench” “Oh sex on the third date, a woman of purity” Going for men who think you’re a whore for having sex on the second date and not the third isn’t great. Also the dudes yall deal with are funny. I’ve never heard a dude say thank God we had sex on the third date and not the second. I wouldn’t see her as a potential partner lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:29 PM
–

The problem of over simplifying these situations is that they become inaccurate assumptions. There’s to many factors affecting it and different scenarios. It doesn’t mean not engaging with “going slow” isn’t valid if you don’t want to take that risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:23 PM
–

Yeah women aren’t exempt from being self servicing (just like men).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:22 PM
6

While I agree I do see people not focusing enough on compatibility while dating. But you are right the average person has horrible EQ and lack enough self reflection. Funny enough I have really high social and emotional intelligence due to my autism. I had to focus on it more than the average neurotypical person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:19 PM
–

Women lie about it a lot too. If there’s one thing I can say surpasses gender, it’s lying and being self servicing. I feel like my verbal confirmation outweighs him… He can literally say the same thing lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:44 AM
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He can still verbally say he doesn’t only want sex. There’s plenty of men who were settled for get verbal reaffirmations and women who get played also get verbal reaffirmations. While it’s nice it isn’t generally a guarantee.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:40 AM
18

Most people view life from their perspective and aren’t understanding or empathetic enough to the “other side”. Also people are blind to the privileges they already have and treat it as the set standard. Most argument you see here are just that. Some men only focus on desirability (which women have a level of guarantee) while ignoring other aspects (safety, commitment etc). While it’s the vice versa for women over here. While I do agree that a lot of women are bad at vetting, the same goes to me…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:39 AM
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The issue is that you can like him but also settle for him. The fear in this statement isn’t necessarily that men don’t want to wait but they aren’t secured in their desirability. I don’t think it’s a right vs wrong thing but rather different risks and risk management. Women fear him leaving after sex and only wanting sex and men fear she doesn’t have genuine desire for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:27 AM
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The problem with these statement is that it treats women as a monolith. While I do agree it’s more likely she’d move faster if she had a huge desire for you. But in most cases the level of desire doesn’t just stay in the extreme levels on the scale. If you worry about it then seek other women. She’s valid in waiting and you are valid for leaving.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:20 AM
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I feel like a lot of people lack social intelligence and this discourse has shifted to extremes in an effort to “debate”. It’s either a creepy man in an alley asking you for sex or men saying women will pepper spray and call the police if you smile at them in public. There is a lack of nuance. Cold approach is so general you can’t say it’s either a high or a low chance. There’s so many factors that play into it. I have had plenty of success with it but I know plenty of dudes who haven’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 08:39 AM
–

I completely understand your point but to think Loki is skinny is pretty funny. Dude is hella ripped and has a top 20% physique with adequate training, genetics and some Hollywood special sauce.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 03:56 PM
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True lol. A lot of dudes “gamify” the experience. You need certain stats in certain sections and will be “rewarded” by female affection. if a man wants sex alone, then what he wants is in conflict with what women want. It’s so oversimplified and inaccurate. You do know women love sex too right?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 03:17 PM
5

Grand biased statements are staple here. Similar to “women actually love you while men only want sex”. My point was rather the way of thinking and communication. That’s why there was a disconnect in the whole man vs bear fiasco. A lot of men see it as dumb as your chances are way lower with a bear. But women saw the “between the lines part” of showing how unsafe they felt around men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 03:13 PM
3

I’ve seen it happen a lot of times in this sub. They pick on the least significant sentence and ignore the actual points being made.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 11:26 AM
2

So the rest of the reply just isn’t going to be addressed?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 11:21 AM
6

It’s so funny that you argue about men generalizing by also generalizing men. For these kind of discussions people tend to generalize to an extent. Heck you even see the women generalizing that women go for non misogynistic dudes. But you did touch on something interesting. In general (lol), men and women have some differences in approach. Men tend to see things pragmatically while women see it more ideally. There’s some benefits to both ways of thinking. The best way I see it the pragmatic base…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 11:05 AM
11

Yeah and this has worked really well for me. There are some limitations; 1) most people aren’t good at reading others or bringing this is a way that increases the chances of truthful answers. 2) Most people lack the level of self reflection to fully understand all their issues. A lot of time they’d dismiss it or deflect it. 3) The good will assumption: a lot of people aren’t good people so this can only work if they have a good level of morality.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 10:55 AM
2

I never have nor never need to push through any boundaries, she’d do it herself. Also boasting about getting women as a grown ass man is pretty pathetic lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:06 AM
5

Haha I agree. Never really understood the whole point, like you aren’t going to debate yourself into her pants. I think people should spend more time just moving on. There’s no point of being “right”.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 04:51 AM
8

Not necessarily. But if it’s “hey so I picked bad partners who used me for sex so now you have to deal with the consequences of that”, I just wouldn’t. I’d completely respect her right to make whatever decision while also respecting my right to prioritize other women. We could be great acquaintances.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 04:02 AM
4

This is a situation where it’s neither right or wrong. She’s valid in being bad at vetting her choices and not wanting to have sex early. I just have options and that’s going to drop her in the rankings. By not having sex early on is a bit of a point loss because I can get someone who would and check even more boxes. Honestly I think this situation only matters to dudes who think in a scarcity mindset. I’d just find a woman who can show me genuine desire up front and doesn’t have to weaponize se…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 02:41 AM
4

Several things -The level of effort they put in: if the dude is highly desirable she tends to put in more effort. Be it text more, want to see him more, he calls and she comes etc. -His mistakes: small things they do wrong are treated differently. A sock left on the floor becomes a small annoyance but if the desirability isn’t high it becomes a 2 day fight. -Rules: the rules she puts in place are more negotiable or even not there if it’s a dude she highly desires. Do you think her celebrity crus…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 08:26 PM
-1

I don’t agree with a lot of red pill talking points (I find them lame). But desire is actually something important. A lot of problems like, sex issues, emotional connection, effort, fighting stem from this. It’s pretty interesting to see the dynamic in real life. I have plenty of female friends over the years and the difference in those relationships is jarring.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 08:01 PM
1

I wouldn’t say so. There other factors that do bring in that situation. There’s a popular meme of “the girl you meet when your unemployed” that’s based of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 07:53 PM
-2

It’s not necessarily an “evil” thing. A lot of relationship issues tend to have it as a factor. Since I’ve only been with women I highly desire and highly desire me I can’t relate to a lot of people in terms of relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 07:51 PM
1

Unfortunately a lot of times mania isn’t presented in its extreme version. If you aren’t looking for clues or know the person well it can slip easily. Especially in the sense of casual or early relationships. A lot of components of mental illnesses go under the radar. I’ve had people shocked and in disbelief when I’ve told them I’m autistic. Most people tend to only recognize it in extreme to almost caricature like states.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 07:50 PM
0

Not just like but a high level of desire. Since most women have a high level of desire for a limited number of men, most of the time they end up with someone they have a moderate level. Seeing the difference in actions and mentality is super interesting in real time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 07:29 PM
-1

Not a woman but I’ve seen a lot of things. It’s very simple desire and mental state. She can have a level an okay level of desire and want to go out with you. But then it’s easy to have a level of control by setting rules. The dude she has a high level of desire is naturally put in a higher position in the power dynamics. Since I only go for women who have a high level of desire towards me, I see it quite often. Many times I’ve heard the “I don’t do hookups on the first date/link”, “I don’t sock…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 07:27 PM
8

But why is it when the conversation is about vulnerability people exaggerate it to mental health levels. I do understand if you think men and women should be treated differently but the conversations are completely different. Men are taught to be there for the partner emotionally, imagine the push back a dude would have if he tells his woman “I’m not your therapist, go get one or talk to your friends”. Man would be dragged (deservedly so). So why is it when the conversation about men being vulne…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 12:01 PM
9

It’s pretty interesting that people either go 0% or 100%. Of course that burden shouldn’t be fully on your partner but your comment is disingenuous. Let’s say you’re having a bad time and your partner says go talk to your friends or therapist. Like yeah they might be right but shifting it in that way is dismissive. Even the way we are socialized has been completely different. A woman could burst into tears because she hates her body and as a man your expected to be there for her. Should we start…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 11:20 AM
9

Not OP but I’d like to answer It could be from basic feelings all the way to deep seated trauma. The “whining loser men” is relative and dependent on the person. Men are socially designated to be pro active fixers so a man “whining” is seen as a social mistake. Up to OP. The solution is complicated and needs time. Similar to how women have been barred from the workforce and when finally introduced there were programs for that transition. We also need a cultural shift in which women and men who r…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 10:05 AM
11

That’s because adultery is based of selfishness. The ability to have your cake and eat it too. They don’t want to think about consequences and the hurt they will cause.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 09:48 AM
–

*To you my guy I know men who like stick thin women and some who like heavy women. The weight scale number isn’t that accurate if you don’t specify frame, height, body fat distribution etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 09:42 AM
–

I was using it as an example of boundaries. My partner can do whatever she pleases but it doesn’t mean I’m insecure for keeping my boundaries. But it’s funny how the whole point went over your head
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 09:40 AM
–

Having boundaries is not an indication of confidence. I’m a confident dude and I wouldn’t want a partner who flirts with other men. Using your logic I’m insecure because she’s coming home with me. Be confident in your choices and find men compatible instead of trying to shame people who aren’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 09:35 AM
–

Yeah using a universal weight is highly inaccurate. You aren’t considering frame, height, muscle mass, body fat distribution. I’ve personally found women to have way more variance in comparison to men. You can have 2 women with identical heights and weight and they look pretty different. Dressing modestly just depends on the person. This notion of if you don’t want your woman dressing immodest means you’re insecure is toxic. Instead of shaming and coercing people we should tell them to go find s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 09:26 AM
24

It really isn’t different. People hate on that character because they don’t cater to their desire. Since those characters are shallow and lack depth the audience is the one to assign it. So more of a self insert fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 04:26 PM
5

That’s because you’re looking at it through a man’s experience. You aren’t acknowledging our priveldges of safety and commitment, which women have less of. So of course you think women have more priveldge in dating. That’s why it’s ineffective to have direct comparisons as we generally struggle in different aspects.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 08:34 AM
7

I agree and I do think people should hold others accountable. My query was for the comment that made it seem like it’s not women’s responsibility to do so. Which is the opposite of what we tell men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 08:18 PM
–

Many people think they are okay with not having intimacy but it’s more cope for their situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:53 PM
–

If you don’t need women then the advancement of sex robots is great news for you. People can still think it’s pathetic. This is not mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:45 PM
–

Not necessarily. I know dudes who struggled with women and hyper focused on the physical aspect of sex. They gave up and started visiting sex workers. They thought that would help but it only left them feeling even worse. That’s because it didn’t address the other components of sex; feeling desired, validated, emotional connection etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:44 PM
–

Dude who wants sex robots and can’t have healthy sexual relationships with women —- Chad Dude who has a fulfilling sexual and romantic relationship with a real life woman —— Simp The way people have destroyed certain words by using them wrongly is crazy high.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:38 PM
–

I mean I think it’s sad and pathetic but you do you chief.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:34 PM
–

True. The effect of porn and media has had damaging effects on it. I think this will only add more fuel to the fire.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:31 PM
–

I mean if that’s what sex means to you then sure, pre order your sexy roomba. A lot of people have a deeper sense in terms of sexuality, young men would be nerfed in that sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:28 PM
9

Yeah I don’t understand the victimization of people. You are free to participate or not participate in gender roles. There’s billions of people so finding someone who shares your view and standards are really high. As long as you aren’t pushing for legislation that forces your lifestyle onto others, then you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:26 PM
24

This is an interesting take as the opposite has been pushed on men in the mainstream. It’s been said that it’s our duty to push back on toxic men and when we speak about us not being a collective, we are shunned by #notallmen
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:23 PM
–

I mean if you are happy fucking a machine then, congrats I guess. If this decreases the harassment of women I’m all for it. But I can see the negative ramifications it will have on the youth and their understanding of intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:21 PM
2

Simplifying complex human interactions makes it inaccurate. You can use it as a general guide rather than a set of rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 03:09 PM
6

Most of the SAHM relationships I’ve seen often have a sort of “insurance” or safety net for the mother. That’s why I found it bizarre when the whole “$1,000 hidden wife’s fund” caused a huge stir. Like my initial reaction is 1,000 is pretty low lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 01:33 PM
7

OP isn’t looking at the bigger picture, only what benefits them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 12:58 PM
10

I understand why you think that way. I’ll assume you are American or from a western country. One thing I have noticed is the difference of culture. Yall focus more on individualism (which has its pros and cons) while other cultures are based of community. My partner and I are a team, so we solve issues in that way. Your example isn’t an issue of the system but rather an inconsiderate partner. No matter the style of relationship an inconsiderate partner will make it toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 12:53 PM
12

So as someone working toward this model with my partner and coming from a traditional style of culture, most people get this model completely wrong. This model is not something I’d recommend for most people, especially in this current economy. It requires selflessness, sacrifice, excellent communication, respect and understanding. If these aren’t exceptional then it’s doomed to fail with a big fallout. This is why I don’t recommend it to most people and I think 50-50 is more “safer”. One thing I…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 12:42 PM
0

Even in that case I disagree. Attraction can increase especially if certain qualities are brought out. My partner was already attracted to me but she told me how I carried myself when babysitting my nephew made her even more attracted to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 09:17 PM
3

I personally find most people to have low standards but I have been referred to as “strict” by my friends. On average men have lower standards for attraction on other aspects of say it’s similar. Also a lot of people tend to underestimate how high their standards are. I’ve met a woman who thought a 6’3 attractive dude in his 20s making 6 figures is realistic. Again I think it’s actually important for people to increase their standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:43 PM
1

I think there’s assumptions in the case of situationships. In my case situationships was part of the dating process while I still vet if we are compatible for a relationship. I wouldn’t get upset if she sees other people but I just wouldn’t consider her as a potential partner. So I’ll communicate that and see if she’s willing to remain a FWB. But I think your case is more specific that the woman wants the commitment at that moment and he is stringing her along.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:30 PM
3

attraction can really only go one way This is highly inaccurate with real life situations. Women get the ick all the time. It’s dependent on specific standards, self respect, growth, baseline desire etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 06:09 PM
5

I would say it’s the popular red pill take from what I’ve seen but rather these losers having a chance to fantasize.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 05:59 PM
2

I find it funny because if you take their idea and analyze it, they don’t even want it. Like what if you call out for work or get fired, is it appropriate then for her to go “no sex go bring money”. I’m in a relationship that is heading for a more housewife and working man situation. The difference is in respect, open communication and understanding. The trad style relationship I’ve seen and been accustomed to is totally different than the ones westerners larp about. These dudes are just bottom …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 05:58 PM
10

I mean he doesn’t care. They don’t see women as people but rather tools for their use. They are generally people lacking in value and human empathy. In which they can’t envision women’s freedom and their pleasure as non mutually exclusive things. A quality man can easily enjoy sexual and romantic aspects with no need to force or coerce.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 05:46 PM
1

I’d say it’s a bit complicated. Attraction can increase or decrease from beginning to future. I’ve seen women’s attraction literally decrease in real time and it’s a pretty funny sight. It’s just unfortunate that a lot of men don’t start with significant enough attraction and desire. So even any slight decrease holds a lot of impact.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 05:35 PM
–

So then we are in agreement. Those men shouldn’t coerce women into doing what they did to other men. They should just leave and find more suitable partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 09:31 AM
3

Yeah that’s true. I’ve seen plenty of dudes lie but I think it’s society putting majority of the weight of sex on men. I was shocked when I found out most men can’t go multiple rounds, because that’s how society made it seem. Then you factor in the pleasure (well lack of) most women have doing sex. It’s crazy out here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 09:13 AM
8

I totally agree on sexual compatibility but I do find it hilarious that as a man, when I mention it I get “YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT SEX”, “YOU JUST WANT YOUR DICK WET” etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:38 AM
–

It’s simple really. A lot of men accept mediocre relationships due to lack of options and low standards. The issue of her doing things with previous partners that they won’t do with them shatters that idea and forces them to face reality. It’s not actually about the sex acts, it’s a representation of them. They now have to face the fact that they aren’t highly desired. Instead of leaving they turn pissy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:14 AM
–

he is not owed what other men received. When we start thinking of it as what is “owed” then we are already at a level of toxicity. No one is “owed” love, healthy communication, acts of service etc. That doesn’t mean that someone should stay and accept it. If I ever find myself in that position I wouldn’t even say a thing and just leave, there’s no point in arguing. However I never do, because I only date women who have high desire and sexual compatibility with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:08 AM
–

The anal thing is funny, because most of the people I know who are into it are mostly women. Thinking a sexual action has to be only for orgasm is rather uninformed. Should she not give oral to her partner because she doesn’t orgasm from it? But the main fact is that no one should do what they don’t want to do. That doesn’t mean someone should stay unsatisfied, they should just leave and get partners more compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:03 AM
9

Yeah I think most men would agree with this. It reminds me of that meme “fed him, had sex with him and got him an uber, let’s see how men like it”. Then they were shocked when some men were saying “oh nooo don’t do thaaat s/“. This is one of the cases where women/men think that the other gender think exactly like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:49 AM
2

They should but I think the difference is priority in the vetting process. Women tend to have general desirability so their focus tends to be vetting on safety and other compatibility factors. Men tend to not have general desirability so they should focus on it more. Often the complaints I see tend to be mostly the men. There’s other issues women tend to focus more on.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:41 AM
-2

I’d say the dead bedroom sub isn’t necessarily 50/50 but it’s close. Women tend to seek community and advice more than men generally. A lot of men prefer to suffer in silence or don’t even know if their situation isn’t okay. But you are right, there’s plenty of things to do. Communication, counseling or if it doesn’t work break up with them. Cheating is a short term immoral solution that carries its own risks. I often see a lot of men not vetting their partners better, complacency or horrible co…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:32 AM
19

Dead bedrooms are a complex subject that have different reasons of existing. One thing I see often is men accepting mediocre relationships that have low desire and then get shocked when it happens to them. A lot of these situations (not all) wouldn’t happen if men get their partners better and people have a deep level of communication. There’s also the societal pressure to remain in marriages whether they are happy or not. This could be difficult but those people should respect themselves better…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 07:24 AM
16

Low self esteem and self worth. It’s easier for them to create acceptance of their situation rather than fix it. Working on yourself is much harder than just going woe is me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:31 PM
4

Exactly! The way they speak about relationships is so exhausting. I’m not trying to come home from a long day of work and siege kings landing.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 01:52 PM
3

Relationships that are based on unequal love tend to be bad ones. I’ve seen this kind of relationships before and the dude would more likely cheat. On the other hand if it’s the other way around the woman tends to just monkey branch. I am someone who’s keen on reciprocal energy so I went for women that I’m totally in love with that have the same energy. Worked really well for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 01:16 PM
6

Exactly. The whole “bring to the table” conversation is used by people who want to make it transactional. It’s also funny in the sense that it goes against progressiveness. You reduce people to money and bodies and wonder why you aren’t in healthy relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:59 AM
5

As an autistic guy who did well in the dating scene, it depends and highly nuanced. Autism is such a wide spectrum so it’s hard to cast a blanket statement on it. I am “high functional” and certain traits of my autism has actually helped me out significantly. For people on the lower end spectrum I would deduce it is much harder. Direct comparison between men and women (even autistic men and women) is ineffective as they have different challenges and privileges.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:23 AM
9

If you’ve “used a few old crusty guys for money” aren’t you part of the problem? I don’t understand why you think it’s a flex to be with people you aren’t attracted to in an essence of selling yourself. But hey you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 01:23 PM
11

Then why can’t we keep biphobic women accountable like we do for men?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:21 AM
16

I mean the general consensus is that homophobia and biphobia is bad. Your point is that it’s okay to be biphobic is there’s no assault or threats?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:15 AM
–

Approaching is actually one the most useful things for men. Even men you’d consider “high value” still approach. My best friend is a huge testimony to that. Short, average looking, skinny, but he has a high level of charisma and approaches a crazy amount. He’s been with more women than any other person I know. Also in what way the attention you are getting not the way you wanted? Was it just because the assumption that those women wouldn’t do the same when you were younger?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:27 AM
–

If you don’t approach then you aren’t taking accountability. But hey if you want to be single go ahead. You don’t necessarily need to conform to be happy. But if you complain about it then…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:19 AM
–

I was asking the other commenter on their specific experience. But feel free to answer with yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:18 AM
–

Do you still approach women often? What standards do people think are too high? I’m just curious and trying to understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:03 AM
2

Yeah that’s understandable. I think dating advice would be a bit different. Like my female friends end up asking for my advice because I can see their perspective while also giving insight as a man. But I’d say it’s not a perfect system and dependent on the person. I’ve had a lot of experience and observed many others. The skill of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes isn’t universal too. With my partner the worst that could happen is her being understanding and showing support. The best cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 06:59 PM
5

While I do understand your hesitancy I personally wouldn’t live like that. It’s similar to the way men think they shouldn’t be vulnerable. I have open ended discussions with my partner and it’s helped us a lot. So much issues don’t exist for us as we have a deeper understanding of each other. It also helps me understand my compatibility with said person. Empathy and understanding are key for my partner to possess. It’s actually a standard of mine. These discussions help filter that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 05:45 PM
0

Can I have the peer reviewed data that says most dads are bad dads/deadbeats. It would be an interesting read.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 12:30 PM
2

These jokes and the “stupid husband” ones were just a self report of people picking bad partners. I grew up in this type of family and most of the men and women I knew respected the other for the roles they did. Heck even now during these progressive times we still have “man bad/ woman bad” kind of jokes.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 12:13 PM
1

This is a hilarious take. Providing was a necessary tool of survival for the family unit. That time a woman would prefer he brings money for food and shelter over going to teachers meetings. That’s why a key factor in considering a husband was hardworking and a provider. The culture has shifted in the sense that there’s more women in the workforce. So family styles are more flexible and dependent on the couple.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 12:03 PM
3

I think the issue is a lot of people can’t/wont empathize and understand issues that they themselves don’t face. Once people realize that men/women aren’t “evil” and just products of their situations then the discourse will improve. My friend group is a great example of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 11:55 AM
12

I have a lot of female friends and acquaintances so i understand a whole lot. While men and women do share the same general goal of happiness their situations are often different. There’s generations of socializations implemented on us and in recent times men have kind of had to face ours. Leaving the bi products of incels and toxic manosphere. I don’t like directly comparing the female experience to the male experience as we have different priveledges and goals. That’s why you get these “grass …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 11:37 AM
0

Yup unfortunately your life experience should write the narrative. There’s plenty of amazing dads, hell I’ve met couples where the dad does significantly more. Should the narrative now be shaped of my experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 11:31 AM
-1

You do know most dads are in their children’s lives right?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 11:27 AM
1

The identity aspect is mostly based on how they carry themselves. I had 2 coworkers that were mothers. One would only talk about their kid and literally nothing else. The other one would talk about fitness all the time. While they were both mothers their identities weren’t the same in respect to the office.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 11:25 AM
1

Most of her points would make sense if she has a terrible partner. The issue is that she’s implying dads are useless people and a lot of her issues would rather disappear if she picks a suitable partner. It’s similar to those dudes who don’t want a relationship or marriage and a lot of their reasons stems from bad partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 11:21 AM
3

I don’t know why he’s going with this narrative of super attractive guy with no social skills vs super ugly dude with good social skills. In reality it’s more of a spectrum. I also think he downplays female attraction and doesn’t understand how complex it is. I have close female friends who are attracted to different kind of dudes. Using a generalized scale of attraction is pretty inaccurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 07:44 PM
6

Yeah I do. I’ve seen ugly dudes, short dudes, broke dudes get women. This take of you need to be a 6’5 model to have casual sex is hilarious.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:58 PM
2

Oh okay this makes sense now.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:57 PM
4

Not really. Like what may be a 8/10 to one girl might be a 5/10 to another. Then you also need to understand what settling is. I’ve had hookups, fwbs and relationships when I was below average. There was genuine desire in all of them. Even my financial status has never been a big effect. I actually was at my “most successful” when I was broke.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 02:36 PM
2

Plus I find it interesting equating paying for dates and sex. Often in these discussions we treat it like you earn sex with women. But I do agree people should stop wasting time trying to enforce their boundaries and standards on others and spend that time finding someone compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 02:25 PM
6

Not really. I’ve been relatively successful when I was below average. My charisma and emotional intelligence was super high so it helped immensely. Yeah it improved when I improved my physical looks but I was more successful than friends of mine I’d consider more conventionally attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 02:15 PM
9

But that’s where the disconnect is. Personality (charisma, emotional intelligence etc) can significantly help in getting casual relationships and long term relationships. The issue is that people take extreme positions and there’s this weird narrative of “fairness”. Yes the more attractive dude will need his personality less. The point is how much less, quantity of the women, quality of the women and his goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 02:04 PM
47

So often times you see online discourse about this subject, men are told to be nice, caring and confident. The issue is that both sides move on the extreme and lack nuance. You have women saying you’re are single because you are a misogynist and thus allowing incels to show misogynists still doing well with women. Then people downplay how attraction affects personality. I’ve always been charismatic but after my physical looks improved there was significant change. The jokes I made became funnier…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 12:42 PM
20

Yeah this reads as OP looking to be validated in being a side piece. They’ve created an extreme dynamic that assumes most married men are walking around with mistresses and hate their wife. So for her to even have a semblance of an argument she needs the dichotomy of suffering wife and free side piece. Reality is much different from that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 10:00 AM
–

the difference is you are paying for a conservative woman
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:23 PM
–

The relevance is if she is in a passport bros style of relationship she isn’t conservative. Most women who do it tend to either be progressive or selling a dream (this most likely).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:20 PM
–

Sorry to spoil your delusion. Conservative women tend to stick to their own culture. It’s actually a huge aspect of their values.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:16 PM
–

Imagine your tax dollars going towards OP to get rejected by a Filipino woman. “But hey healthcare is too expensive or commie”
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:11 PM
–

Imagine the millions who don’t have healthcare, the housing crisis, food insecurity, people having to go into generational debt to go to school etc. You think the government should be worried about yall lame dudes who can’t get women?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:08 PM
–

I always find Americans romanticization of other places hilarious. I’m originally from a conservative country that is relatively popular with passport bros. All the complaint I see about American women are even more expounded. Yall complaining paying $60 for a date while the expectations there is to pay for her father’s medical bills. Complaining about women targeting you for your money while it’s common there to ask your date his salary. The truth is Americas dating market is one of the easiest…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 08:59 PM
7

Yeah chief that’s not the common consesus. “A "fuck boy" is a derogatory slang term for a man who manipulates others for casual, selfish sexual encounters, often by misleading them about his intentions”. Being non commital shares characteristics but not a definitive aspect of being a fuckboi.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 08:49 PM
6

I think people have different understandings of “fuckboi” What’s yours?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 08:21 PM
27

As a dude who’s been around many fuckboys their kryptonite is a woman with high self esteem and self worth. Fuckboys are like opportunistic diseases. They seek out and are drawn to women who have low self worth and don’t enforce their boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 07:17 PM
1

My comment was a reply to OP I do agree though that dating has been super easy for me. However I do understand I’m not the commonplace.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 03:25 PM
–

Yes. That wasn’t my point. The whole point was if there reciprocated actions most men won’t have issues paying. I do implore you to improve your comprehension so as to engage with my argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 03:25 PM
6

Don’t worry I’ll bring it up in the next annual “man is a monolith” meeting.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:46 PM
0

“Trad” is not really a fixed set of laws but rather guidelines. Most people aren’t fully trad or fully modern. These are just systems used to create structure and fairness. One’s personal trad relationship might be completely different from another.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:12 PM
4

This is a lovely take. “Hey because some men beat women you have to pay for my meal” Not had a good laugh like that in a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:07 PM
2

I think the issue is that we’ve demonized female gender roles while still keeping the male ones. Often times the issue is reciprocating and not the actual payment. That’s why you have those men feeling “cheated” if she doesn’t be intimate with them after. I personally pay but I tend to only go for women who show me high desire and more open to traditional-ish roles. Most people lack the nuance, understanding and selflessness for it to be feasible. That’s why I recommend most to do 50-50.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:02 PM
3

This is the critique I normally get. Like dudes think they sign up for a dance class, walk in and immediately get swarmed by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:48 PM
7

The main reason for the advice of going out to clubs and such, is just more opportunities available. It’s more natural, less intimidating and can foster more emotion. More opportunities don’t equal guaranteed success. It’s just super helpful. Joining a club also allows you to remove the mystique around women and not put them on pedestals.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:04 PM
–

This take is just based on personal preference and lack of understanding. Does the average guy have it easier than the average woman? It depends on what metric you want to compare. The average woman has WAY more opportunities than the average man. Hypergamy exists based on options. Men would be just as if not more if opportunity was there. The challenges women face are often because they got through that barrier of being desired. So the bet tree comparison would be the average woman and an above…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:43 PM
18

This is the gender bent “NiceguyTM” take. Just like women, men appreciate and are attracted to those qualities. However the issue comes with if there aren’t attractive to them and all those qualities you mentioned in the first paragraph, then it matters less. The reason a lot of men communicate that less is because they lack high standards and have limited choices. In my case physical qualities and having sex was already a given. So that’s why I can focus on more intricate attributes of attracti…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 11:55 AM
–

Are we going to have the most basic things lol. What’s next “a good man doesn’t kick puppies”
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 01:40 PM
5

Holy massive overshot lol. Most men can’t tell subtle signs and the environment nowadays pressures that too. I’m not going to lie even that 6/10 is super generous.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 08:31 PM
5

Those conservative households probably still had the women working while still taking care of the home more. That’s what I mean, it’s not about the system but rather finding healthy ways to structure your relationship. You can be taken advantage of in a “modern style” or a “traditional style”.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 11:56 PM
4

That’s because a lot of people are so self absorbed they think their way is the only way. There’s also the fact that many people in discourse create a hyper exaggerated caricature so it’s easy to dunk on in an argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 11:40 PM
7

100% You don’t see liberal or leftist men argue with women on how politics shouldn’t matter. Especially nowadays when political disagreements isn’t about taxing more or less. It’s about maintaining rights and not covering for pedos.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 09:58 PM
14

They won’t because they don’t want to fulfill their side of the trad relationship. Most of the people (men and women) I see harping on it online just want the perks without committing. I also don’t think it’s a politics thing as my partner and I are progressives but still have the “trad” aspects in our relationship. The trad vs modern relationships are also very arbitrary. They are more like generalized guidelines that are fit for personal tweaks.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 09:17 PM
2

Then the answer is so simple. Just go for guys who align with OPs values. I just see it as someone so deeply insecure with themselves that finding the right partner isn’t enough for them. Just validation from a bunch of men. It’s like my monogamous self going to argue about how wrong a polyamorous relationship is. Like I do know I can just stick to monogamous partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 08:29 PM
1

Wait till OP finds out a healthy sex life is important to both men and women. Or should I tell my partner whenever she makes a move “you only want me for my body :(“
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 03:28 PM
2

You flip flop over it being pressure or the whole thing is just wrong. Do you actually have a stance?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:49 PM
2

The whole quote was it’s not like I’m going to ask if she did anal with other men in the first date. It’s more of sexual conversations tend to be early in my relationships as a way to get to know each other, expectations and compatibility. If you are asking for my take specifically, it doesn’t even matter as I tend to date women who have a high level of desire. So I’ve never really needed it. It’s more of if she hasn’t done it so I can be patient and take it slower.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:48 PM
0

You not being into it is totally fair but I don’t understand why you force someone else to be okay with wanting a limited version. Preferences for me but not thee. I don’t know if you lack emotional intelligence or are purposely trying to misrepresent what’s being said. They don’t sit down and ask what they have done with men. It normally comes up in a sense of sex talk and experiences. You are trying to frame it as cucking (which I doubt you know the meaning of) in a way to shame men. But I thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:43 PM
10

There’s this weird obsession of making people conform to your own personal standards and boundaries. Like if OP feels like sexual history doesn’t matter she is completely free to exercise her boundaries in her relationships. But that’s not enough, she needs you to conform your boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 11:53 AM
18

I feel like you aren’t engaging my argument but rather projecting an argument you have with this hypothetical man. I will repeat it again… She has the absolute freedom to do choose whether to do it or not, whether to say it or not. He has the freedom to leave if it’s unsatisfactory. Other aspects like pressuring her to do it and lying about it to remove informed consent of a partner is wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 11:41 AM
21

I don’t agree with pressure. That was the whole point. She has the absolute freedom to choose to do it and not to. I have the freedom to stay or go. This is such a non issue…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 11:33 AM
17

“Hey I find having a healthy sex life important in my relationship” You: SEX IS THE ONLY THING YOU CARE ABOUT.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 11:22 AM
22

Debate point 1: This is just a misconception. Is sex important in a relationship for most people? Yes. The extent of that importance varies between people. The runners I see here is from people saying sex is the only thing or sex isn’t important. Most people exist on the spectrum in between. Debate point 2: I operate on honesty and transparency. It’s really helped me find a partner who’s genuinely compatible and saves time and heart ache. Does that mean I go to the first date with a checklist of…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 09:54 AM
9

There also something to note, people will hate on you no matter what. The focus shouldn’t be acceptance from people who would hate whatever it is you did. If you didn’t get women, they’d hate on you and call you a loser. If you did, then you are a manipulative piece of shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:32 AM
8

There’s often an exaggerations in these discussions. The dude who’s successful in dating is some tall, conventionally attractive, jock that bully’s people for the fun of it. And the “nice”, nerdy, shy dudes would struggle. Reality is more nuanced than that. Some women like simps in the same way some dudes love pick me’s, it’s about validation. Those women and men tend to demonize people who show self actualization.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 07:14 AM
2

That’s the beauty of relationships, you get to set your standards and boundaries. If you want a partner who’d pay, that’s what you want. I actually think it’s a good thing as it limits resentment and promotes compatibility. However if you ask that him paying for the date means he thinks you are the one, then you are fully mistaken.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 10:08 AM
2

Not really, but the issue is using that as a presumption of thinking you’re the one. Your view would’ve been more warranted if the culture around paying for dates was different. If a man paying was more rare then yeah. If you link paying for dates and him desiring you, you end up creating a toxic dynamic. It’s easier to end up seeing the more he spends on dates the more he likes you. I’ve seen this pushed heavily by women online and it ends up creating a perfect environment of bad actors and res…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 08:51 AM
5

Yeah but that’s like saying if she laughs at your jokes, talks to you and touches your arm, she is attracted to you. While yes, if she’s attracted to you she’ll highly likely do that but that’s not a strong indicator. Thats why you get confusion and resentment.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 08:30 AM
5

invest That’s kind of the problem. What you are doing is facilitating a transactional relationship. You make it seem that she is a commodity. Let me tell you the unfortunate truth that has been plaguing many women. Dudes will pay and invest on the default. There’s so many women who come to male advice subs wondering why a dude drove her places, pays for the first day and ghosts her. If you actually want to know specialized effort would make more sense. Just like that previous commenter. Generali…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 08:02 AM
2

That’s the accurate sense. It’s funny how effort in her eyes is materialistic and consumeristic. It’s also highly inaccurate. The default is the dude to spend money and gifts. So it has literally almost no indication that he truly likes you. It’s a failed rationale of wanting gifts and materials but manipulating it as that’s what love is. Then you start wondering why dudes getting annoyed at spending 200 dollars for a high five.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:47 AM
6

So there is some merit to your point. Due to several factors like biology (maybe, not enough data) and socialization, we have created this dynamic. MGTOW when it just started was a positive beacon against this notion. The point was to decenter women from your life in an effort to explore other things. However it’s unsustainable as most men who follow this do it based of resentment rather than self determination. That’s why MGTOW turned into a hating women group. I normally advise younger dudes t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:38 AM
1

Your first point makes sense but only under a big assumption. Most women aren’t in the position to just choose compatibility. Does that mean ALL women? no, but just most. I do understand where you are coming from. I was the same in the sense that I assume people share my priveledges and challenges. Unfortunately I found that wasn’t the case. That’s why I relate to you more than relating to the average dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 09:35 AM
5

That’s true there’s several factors and this is just a general outlook. The reason women chase for commitment is because most women already have been desired. So being generally desired isn’t as important to them. The caveat is being desired by a specific group of men. Men aren’t as generally desired so they don’t focus as much on commitment, as when they are desired, commitment is almost all but guaranteed. That’s why I said the dynamic favors men more. A casual relationship tends to be based o…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 09:12 AM
6

It favors the man in the sense that desire is already a prerequisite. Most men aren’t highly desired so the men who are will be rare. A desired woman isn’t rare as most men desire most women. So a direct comparison won’t be as effective. Think of it in a sense of an unpopular restaurant vs a really popular one. The unpopular one would be happy just getting any customer and has lax rules because of it. A popular one would be more stringent in the rules (reservation only, dress code etc.), because…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:49 AM
7

I think you are more of an outlier. Any dude who has been successful at casual dating knows the biggest issue is not her wanting less but rather wanting more. Do you think it’s men or women who generally ask “what are we”, this will indicate whether you’re in good faith or just contrarian. Out of all my casual partners I can only say 1 who wouldn’t accept a relationship. So it’s not like they aren’t there but rather a small percent. Even look online there’s plenty of women asking for more and ra…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:04 AM
6

That’s the trick. If the responsibility of the man to initiate then it means he generally put more effort. I love this take for OP and for the men who’d believe her. Do you think the man she genuinely desires would be disqualified for not paying more for dates? There’s 3 categories of dudes bad of no desire, some desire and high desire. The dudes who feel like they should jester for a woman’s affection are in the middle category of some desire. That’s why I actually use the low effort/ pressure …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 02:26 AM
–

I don’t think it matters whatever system (more modern egalitarian systems and traditional systems), if one or both parties want to manipulate the situation for their personal benefit. A great example is the men who want traditional relationships but are aversed to alimony. Then you have men who want women to be in a more egalitarian position (like work) but still expect them to do the bulk of child rearing responsibilities and home responsibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 02:19 AM
2

Oh I can tell you it’s not necessarily the case. You have plenty of women in the askmenadvice and some relationshipadvice subs not understanding that. Even in real life women aren’t exempt from that, as men aren’t as well. Most people aren’t self reflective enough or otherwise we’d have near perfect relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 08:13 PM
4

Yeah I understand why. There’s a lack of empathy and understanding in both men and women. No one actually wants to understand and get to the bottom but rather give simple answers that work for them. Some men blame women, because they don’t want to actually reflect. Some women use it as a gotcha on men. They see life as hero vs villain and empathizing with men means that women are “evil”. A huge majority of men that are affected aren’t this women hating caricatures but often time victims of circu…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 04:35 PM
8

The third paragraph is something I tend to see often in online discourse. There’s a common thing of weaponizing issues. A lot of women don’t actually empathize with the “male loneliness epidemic” and thus use opportunities such as a dude being an asshole. They say “see this is why there’s a male loneliness epidemic.” This is why a lot of younger men have started going over to the red pill. Those grifters see these men having issues and instead of dismissing they validate it. Once they’ve done th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 01:13 PM
6

Not really. Being a nice person has helped me a bunch of times. I think you’re confusing niceness to being a doormat.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 12:45 PM
9

The part about competing with women is just resentment at the lack of reciprocation. The nature of dating is highly skewed for the average man in the courtship stage. And the simple answer is because most women don’t desire most men. So to compensate for that lack of desire they put in more effort. Thats why I often tell men to focus on improving themselves and increasing their desirability. Any effort you put in after would be more voluntary.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 12:44 PM
15

While I don’t think being a good person should be dependent on attracting women, it’s not a huge factor in being perceived as attractive (in the general sense). The gaslighting sense of if you are a good person women will flock over you is similar to if you work hard you’ll be rich. While it has some truths it’s not necessarily the main factor. The resentment of “the nice guys” is being treated in the definite “be good = women love you”. So they portray the image of a “good guy” whether it’s gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 12:36 PM
4

The first point contradicts your title. You say men want to compete more than date by listing dating apps and cold approaching which are inherently competitive in nature. You also need to take account in the different scenarios and experiences. Men tend to compete out of necessity and most of the average men have to make way more effort in courting. Women are just as much if not more but with the caveat of that experience being for a fewer number of men (desirables). That’s why when I see men co…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 12:27 PM
11

Because the topic was dating? So that’s the context. I did not say it in the sense that men are safer in other aspects of life. But we have the priveledge to be safer in terms of dating (not saying there aren’t men who were harmed, just much less than women).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 08:36 AM
9

Because they don’t face more danger by their female partner in comparison to women. My point is general comparisons between most men and women are pointless. Men or women who focus on it fail to see their priveldge and are too busy “looking at other plates” instead of filling their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 08:23 AM
10

Yeah isn’t that the context of this post?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 07:57 AM
11

This notion of looking at someone else’s plate is the real problem. Comparing to men and women is also ineffective. Like yeah women have more options but also have more dangers. The trick is not to complain about what women have on their plate but rather get more stuff on yours. As a dude who worked on himself I have plenty of options (not more than most women though), plus I have the added priveldge that most women aren’t assured of, safety and commitment. Direct comparisons are an inefficient …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 06:52 AM
11

Of course there more to a relationship than sex but if that’s the issue at hand then that’s what gets focused on. It’s like saying there more to a car than its wheels. Yeah but if I have the other compartments and not the wheels I’d be focused on the wheels. Also you present these men as only wanting to get their dick wet and sex workers are too expensive. Funny enough aren’t those men the same ones who complain about financial dependency during dating. Also these men are “insecure” in the same …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 08:28 PM
16

That’s because you don’t actually engage with their argument. When they say sex is important it’s not just the physical activity, otherwise they won’t bother dating and just go to sex workers. It’s about desirability and an emotional connection. A lot of men aren’t secured that desirability and that’s why they tend to seek it. Most women are and that’s why they focus more on other parts of the relationship they aren’t guaranteed. But to do this you need to act in good faith, empathy and understa…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 08:15 PM
23

It’s a common thing I’ve seen. Misrepresenting the argument in a way to demonize rather than actually understand or argue. Like if a man says sex is an important thing for me in a relationship, they’ll go “YOU DONT CARE ABOUT HER AND ONLY WANT YOUR DICK WET”. It’s not about what’s in front of them but rather how will they maintain an agenda.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 07:27 PM
0

I mean yeah I wasn’t arguing that. Those comments were from other threads.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 09:16 AM
2

Dude a lot of people in this sub live in a delusion that real life is only based in their experience and perception. I had a dude who argued that women don’t actually enjoy sex lol. Another woman argued that women don’t have sex outside of committed relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 08:56 AM
10

Yeah I think people should look at it as guidelines instead of a firm set of rules. There’s so many factors and luck also plays a huge role. Take the outlook on height in online discourse. You have plenty of dudes who say if you aren’t 6’ then you won’t have a chance. Instead of height can get you some points but it’s not a guarantee.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 07:35 AM
0

You raised a great point, my take focuses more on people in their 20s and 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 02:23 AM
5

While I don’t discredit your experience you are more of an outlier. Who do you think is more likely to say “what are we” or “is there a chance for something more” or even the one who’s upset and waiting for a proposal, men or women? Also in my experience of casual relationships there was only 1 person who wouldn’t have wanted more if I tried. But she was the type to not want a relationship ever (according to her). Heck even all my relationships have advanced from hooking up.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 08:30 PM
13

Oh it’s super common. It’s actually much rarer to find a couple that got in a relationship before having casual sex. Mostly reserved for religious people (and nowadays it’s not even a high guarantee).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 07:20 PM
8

Also to add in it is effort. The dude who’s genuinely desired can put in less effort than the dude who’s being settled for. His achievements no matter how small are greatly celebrated and his mistakes are often looked over. Like I tend to pursue women who show genuine desire and my experiences are totally different from other men. I’ve never had the pressure of taking her on expensive dates or paying. I’ve never felt like jestering for attention. Like when men complain about their dating experie…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:53 PM
3

I don’t know if you are purposely missing the point or you are unable to understand and see a the point of view of someone else. The point is that you can’t directly compare because of different privileges, which bring forth different wants (or rather focuses). I never called out women who seek being wanted for their personality, because I can put my foot in their shoes. You fail to do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:41 PM
6

What you fail to understand is that you’re projecting your desires and standards (which are all fair) to people who aren’t in your position. Since you’re almost always guaranteed a sense of desire in the general sense that’s WHY it’s not your focus. Let me give you a different scenario. I’ve always been seen as a gifted and funny kid, early on. I’ve received praise for it often. I didn’t receive praise on my looks at that time and that’s why those compliments stuck more. My partner has always be…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:22 PM
6

This puzzled my autistic ass for a while. Like I did the right thing by being honest even before anything took place, why are they getting hurt? Then I realized feelings aren’t always rational and people are too stupid to self reflect. So I took myself out of that scene before causing more “damage”.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:00 PM
6

Her liking you as person is great but it doesn’t show high level of desire. Again I’m speaking on settling type of relationships and not relationships as a whole. Also I understand your confusion. You are standardizing the male experience to the female one. The issue is that for the average man and the average woman tend to prioritize different things. Since most women have been desired, the desire from the general men is not as important. Other factors like safety and commitment tend to take pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 05:49 PM
9

In that setting it’s mainly because of security. The person she desire the most won’t necessarily always be the one she “needs”. That’s kind of the basis of settling. The sex with someone she doesn’t desire much is more of securing that safety net. That’s why when there’s commitment it tends to taper off.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 05:36 PM
8

While I do agree being honest is the most moral way, I have found that it doesn’t help as much. Back when I was single I would tell the women I was hooking up with that I wasn’t going to be in a relationship and just wanted casual sex. They agree and often times be pleased with my honesty. Unfortunately 90% of the time it would just end with “I thought there was more”, “I thought if we kept on fucking you’d like me”, “you were playing with my feelings just to fuck”. The last one was extra funny …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 05:26 PM
3

I think this is the issue I’ve seen in this sub. They use niche members of a gender and extrapolate it as the general consensus.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 01:13 PM
7

I think that was his point. While there are women who prefer short or bi men there are relatively the minority. Generalizing women in that sense would be silly. It’s similar to how OP thinks that the men who go around “humbling” women are a valid generalization. While in turn it’s quite the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 01:11 PM
25

I see it a lot in anime. Most isekais (born into a new fantasy world) type anime’s have become harem animes. The basis of an ordinary “loser” gets several “attractive” women to fawn over him, added with a sense of increased value and power.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:23 AM
6

I’m sorry for your loss but this is exactly how I feel about my partner. I’d say I’m super monogamous when feelings are in play. Often times I see people talk about fighting temptations but I feel guilty, cause I have literally none. I think there’s also an ego effect for me too. Like I think cheating is so lame I can’t do it. If I wanted another person (which is impossible) I’d let my partner know and if she’s down cool, if she isn’t then we go our separate ways. I see cheating like hiding in a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 07:33 AM
1

I mean you can say the same for other situations. Let’s say my GF asks me where am at and I reply with that’s my personal information you are not entitled to it. It’s a little goofy. Information is only important to the giver and recipient. Going of “legal technicalities” doesn’t really translate to real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 07:24 AM
6

It’s because he’s running off the assumption that women don’t lie about things. It’s like him saying “it’s crazy how there’s some women who cheat”. He’s going off the notion that women are faithful and creating a different standard in comparison to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 07:20 AM
11

People like you end up propagating the “women are wonderful” ideology. You create this weird standard that women are these benevolent entities that are naturally moral. Are you telling me some women lie to get what they want? Is it not the same as the men who do it? Or is it that lying is a man’s “thing”?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:42 AM
8

Unfortunately the number is much lower than you think. I personally know women who are sexually active and have never experienced an orgasm with a dude. Others say that it’s so rare it comes more as a shock. It always baffled me, because as a guy it’s always almost a guarantee that I’d orgasm. But as a pleasure dom it’s been very beneficial to me lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 11:32 AM
12

wont matter if you’re 5’9 and not rich women don’t even like sex 😂😂😂 I respect the rage bait but you’re a lil too on the nose, 3/10 attempt.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 09:52 AM
2

Yeah it was more of a joke. But it’s true a lot of couples end up with complacency and it’s sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 09:40 AM
2

Shoutout to your friend’s husband for keeping the bar low. He is an American hero o7.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 09:30 AM
9

I mean yeah. It’s like saying relationship advice doesn’t do anything if you don’t leave your house.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 09:18 AM
11

It does in a whole lot of ways. -Almost all my one night stands evolve into situationships/fwb -Women talk: if you are good at sex then it won’t necessarily remain a secret. I’ve ended up hooking up with for partners’ friends. -Increases your desirability with her: This translates to not only sex but other areas in your relationship. -More sex: a lot of cases of women having low sex drive is a YOU factor. This happened to my GF, in which she thought she just didn’t like sex and had a low sex dri…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 09:12 AM
27

I’m not going to lie this is the biggest advantage of being a dude. Most dudes are relatively self absorbed and bad at sex. So someone who thinks tension, foreplay and making women cum is a standard, boosts me up tremendously. I be hearing horror stories from my female friends and it’s a crazy ego boost.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 08:35 AM
1

Oh man I don’t know where to start but I can throw in a few things. 1) There is quite a small number of people who are actually ugly. Most men can be average to above average if they even put in a little effort. A hairstyle that suits you, a skin care routine, working out and good sleep will elevate you so much. I remember when the incel subs used to post some selfies and it’s actually comical. Most of them were average looking dudes and I’ve seen even uglier dudes get women. 2) Often time you’l…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 05:43 PM
1

The main issue is that a lot of people observe not to understand but rather to confirm their bias. You can have a conversation with a red piller and a blue piller and you’d think there’s 2 different worlds. In reality they just see what they want to see. A common one is that women want men for their money. A red piller would agree and only notice instances where it’s true and a blue piller would disagree of the opposite narrative. One thing that really helped my observation skills was to believe…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 12:45 PM
2

The difference is because often times those men would look at actions rather than comfortable truths. Observation is a great teacher if you can understand and limit bias. It’s literally how I became successful with women and life (ofc luck and other factors had some play). When I was younger I would just observe and hear people stories. You realize that there patterns that while not 100% accurate are a good guide. I looked at successful people and tried to understand their successes. Most people…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 12:15 PM
6

You misunderstand, most fans of things are casual fans. The issue is that is “nerd” spaces there’s a culture of gatekeeping. So when women who aren’t the stereotypical “nerd” enjoy aspects of it they tend to get quizzed to prove that they like it. My social circle is quite diverse and the advantage of that is that it tends to avert certain old tropes. Gaming and anime is literally mainstream right now. It’s similar to how Marvel movies have made superheroes mainstream. I was there when anime and…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 11:30 AM
5

So there’s many things to unpack here; -I’ve not claimed that those media exist in perfect 50-50. -You continue the trope of “being a poser”. Like many types of media majority of fans are casuals. This is like a girl saying she likes AC/DC and you going “okay name me 4 albums or you’re a fake”. It’s actually one of the reasons women don’t immerse themselves in gaming and anime communities as much. -I don’t agree there’s plenty of e girls looking do simps in these communities but for every 1 ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 10:26 AM
3

I mean if you want to extrapolate your bad relationship to other when then okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 10:03 AM
9

lol what? This has to be either outdated or you from your opinion off TikTok and e-girls. When I was much younger anime and video games were niche but now have become super mainstream. Often times I see women criticizing their partner gaming is often due to lack of time together. Like homie will spend 6-8 hours gaming. I’m not saying there’s plenty of women who wouldn’t want to just start some shit or be a bad person. But this is a heavily outdated trope.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 10:01 AM
3

I don’t know if OP had a bad attempt of discussing the effect of looks > personality but it just came off as super obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 08:48 AM
8

I’m not going to lie chief for women under 35, anime and video games is pretty mainstream.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 08:46 AM
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My bad we all know everyone under 26 is Roblox lobbies dating cat girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 01:44 PM
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I’d say pre glow up I was closer to a 4, but my charisma really carried and I didn’t have too much to do to get women. Now I’d say I’m a solid 6, maybe 7 for specific taste and while my chances increased it already started at a good place. Majority of men lie around 4-6, because that’s how the averages pan out. I’ve literally seen ugly dudes with women all the time. But I think there’s no point in this discourse. Your inability to see real life as how it is fundamentally different and wrong. So …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 01:44 PM
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Is 27 unc now lol. I have friends and also mentor dudes from 16-25. I also have friends and acquaintances from 30-45. Not only is my life experience showing that what you are saying is a gross exaggeration but you can do it yourself. Go to the park or the store. Do you see 10 women following a 6’5 dude? Do you have actual real friends, family or acquaintances? I’d recommend having female friends and learning about people. You’ll cringe at your extreme takes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 01:21 PM
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Yeah this take is cope if you actually go outside. I’m not the tallest, not super handsome and my charisma carries heavily. I’ve had multiple instances of genuine attraction. This is like saying you’ll never be financially successful unless you’re a multibillionaire.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 12:49 PM
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Yeah but that takes effort and self reflection. I’ve noticed people tend to go for the path of least resistance. The shock these dudes will get that once they pay for sex they still won’t be happy. Feeling desired, emotional connection, creating a family, will not be fulfilled. It’s like drinking to cure your depression. Like yeah you might feel better for a bit, but the crash will come.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 12:10 PM
5

Not really. Complex phenomena exist in a way that multiple factors are to considered and doesn’t have a simplistic answer. Relationships are complex in that I’m not going to walk over to a girl and say “I’m top 1% in height, top 10% in fitness, top 10% in intelligence, so be attracted to me and love me”.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:50 AM
-1

I think that’s more of attraction instead of love. Love encompasses a lot of things; attraction (physically and emotionally), respect, trust, compatibility etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:39 AM
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Yeah often times this is a cope for people with low self esteem. They can’t visualize being loved so they seek sex as a consolation prize. I do agree with his last paragraph. Genuine desire is really important. However a lot of men aren’t creating themselves to make that acquirable. It worked for me and now I’m in a relationship with someone who I love and desires me the same way I desire her.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:37 AM
3

I find both are just entities meant to prove the other wrong. That’s why you end up with black and white takes that lack nuance. The issue with blue pill to a lot of men is that it focuses on general and feel good advice. Takes like just be confident, be yourself, join clubs etc, end up not being realistic to a lot of men. They also generalize women as benevolent good so if you aren’t attracting women you are a “bad person”. Red pill is attractive in the sense of giving specific advice. The issu…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:26 AM
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I agree fully. Adding to the fact that it’s not just the “top level” of men. Average dudes do it all the time. If you look at the waiting to wed trope it shows the pickiness of men to take it to the further level. But I do think instead of complaining about the state of affairs, these dudes should be levelling up. Once they do they end up relating with women more.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 08:37 AM
2

lol this isn’t advice but rather reasoning as to why those certain women go for those situations. I would never recommend someone to do this as it’s not only immoral it attracts certain women who are of low quality and harmful. Understanding something you don’t agree with doesn’t mean that you want that specific thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 05:51 PM
4

People find comfort in simple definitive answers. They tend to lean into answers that are one way or the other, not “it depends”. “Work hard and you’ll succeed” “Do good things and good things will happen to you” Unfortunately the world isn’t that simple. It’s shades if grey that have multiple reasons and luck. That’s actually one of the reasons of the increase in popularity for the red pill, simple definitive answers (doesn’t mean that they have to be true).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 05:47 PM
6

It depends on the setting but in my case it’s relatively early. I have the priveledge of being very observant and having plenty of female friends. I get to see how differently women act in accordance to the level they desire the dude. One main thing I tend to see is effort tends to be reciprocal. Often times I’ve seen men resent the effort they need to put in. That dictates that while she might like you, she doesn’t highly desire you, thus the feeling of being a jester.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 09:30 AM
4

In that specific case i was speaking on interest. But for your point it’s more about desire, options and culture. I only go for women who show a significant level of desire so my experience would be a little different from yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 09:03 AM
13

OP is looking at “leagues” as a fixed science instead of a guideline used to explain certain phenomena. I’ve seen league used in the sense of who is desired more mixed with the qualities each partner seeks.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 08:41 AM
16

OP discovers that a lot of people are hypocrites… more at 10.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 08:35 AM
5

I think it depends really. Like the level of cheating (hugged another dude in her high school relationship, cheated on a long term partner, serial cheater). Did they take accountability or they were using language to dodge taking it. But this again is more of what different people can tolerate But I don’t think cheating is about the partner lacking but rather the cheater lacking in some sense. I’ve seen people cheat on their “dream partner”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 07:57 AM
42

I think there many things to it -Power dynamics: if you are a bit “mean” to her, you create a dynamic where you are “better” or “above” her. This ends up being an attraction point to a significant amount of women. -Insecurity: This isn’t generally gendered but people with lower levels of self respect are drawn to people who will validate those feelings. -Not putting her on a pedestal: since most women get dudes who’d suck up to them, you not doing that tends to increase interest. The change of p…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 07:52 AM
–

I’d say most people have it in a sense. There’s ugly, not bad looking, meh, kinda cute, attractive, wowzers. People have then tried to quantify it to a number scale. But every one has their own take so no one is necessarily wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:24 AM
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I think we’re veering off the “if you aren 6’4 no woman would want you” chronically online territory. If I go outside and start saying “jestermaxing, sub optimal canthal tilt, Chad rankings” people would look at me confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:19 AM
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While I do agree the sentiment is changing and men are caring more about their looks, it’s still not caught up to women. Also I didn’t not include cultural differences that can play a role as I was generalizing it. Around 20-30% of men have a consistent skin care routine Around 30% of men workout regularly It’s likely that even those 2 metric aren’t always the same people. Looksmaxing is still a niche online trend that’s based of extreme glow ups. It doesn’t show as a majority in real life. Whil…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:07 AM
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At one point I’d have agreed with you. But after a glow up and having multiple choices I tend to relate to women more. They aren’t saying that those men are ugly but rather a scale on attractiveness. You can think someone is cute but not have high attraction for them. Then you factor in that most men nerf themselves. The average man doesn’t put nearly enough effort on their looks, in comparison to the average woman. Thats why you tend to see a gap in looks. Like when I went through the incel sub…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 10:46 AM
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You do know they’re not mutually exclusive right? You can want the physical experience and the emotional aspect of it too. Over simplifying the importance of sex is just a way to create a straw man and avoiding actual discourse and understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:26 AM
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But that removed the element important for sex, desire. It’s like telling someone who struggle to make friends just pay someone to be your friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:20 AM
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I agree. But the mainstream body positivity position of you are “perfect the way you are”, feels really patronizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:18 AM
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Lmao you think the average man can become a prostitute and have sex with a lot of women??
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:16 AM
–

There’s plenty of factors attracting some men to the red pill. I was just giving one. This doesn’t mean I support it but to bury my head in the sand and not see the appeal it has to a lot of men is ineffective.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 11:15 AM
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Maybe for a few but it’s like telling someone who’s suffering through depression to just smile more. It’s dismissive and also infantalizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:57 AM
–

That’s because you’re viewing it from a woman’s lens and trying to extrapolate it to men. Most women are desirable and can get sex with minimal effort. So the need of validation through sex is not as important for them. Most men don’t share the same experience and adding to the fact that society places men’s worth on attracting women it’s easy to see the link.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:52 AM
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That’s because it’s mostly cope. Humans are social creatures so validation does play a big part of it. Imagine a child drawing a picture for their parent. The parent then dismisses it instead of complimenting it. That has basis of ruining self esteem. It would be very improbable to find someone who has a high self esteem without ever receiving validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:46 AM
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That’s where I agree. Often times a lot of women give weight on how something makes them feel, while men tend to be result focused. If I’m fat, unattractive and have trouble attracting women, the advice of “you’re perfect the way you are” ends up feeling dismissive. That’s why a lot of men are attracted to red pill like advice. It gives them the ability to envision a result. However this is on the basis of a type of body positivity. The other view of not hating yourself for how you look while ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:33 AM
2

I mean most groups tend to have bias. The intensity of that bias is up to debate. The issue with the “not listening to what women tell you they want” is more nuanced. If we take their word for it 100% then the most sought of men would be nerdy, nice, feminist, average, short men (according to reddit). Real life shows that isn’t necessarily the case. It’s not like these women are malicious liars but a whole myriad of factors affect them. The way women are socialized tend for them to give appropri…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 09:36 AM
3

Plus there’s the risk that she’s just making YOU wait. So you become a settled partner. It can work in areas like if you’re are religious but often time there’s these games being played. Especially if the men you are attracted to have options.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 08:34 AM
2

Dude what there’s plenty of women who have sex before being in a committed relationship. Do y’all go outside?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 10:54 AM
7

How is it implied. He didn’t say it lol. We can easily do that for any statements. “Hey I had a great lunch” “Oh are you implying that’s the only thing that brings you happiness”. The mental gymnastics is crazy
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 10:52 AM
1

Why dodge my question? Where in the post did he say use women JUST for sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 10:47 AM
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Psht are you dumb, sex is something women GIVE men and love is something men GIVE women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 10:45 AM
9

So if I want sex from my partner or potential partner I’m “using her for sex”. Also the direct quote is “I know that men talk about wanting sex”. Please show me where the “just” in your comment is. Absolutely fascinating stuff though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 10:40 AM
4

See even your logic is pretty telling. You create a dichotomy of relationships as transactions. Men “get” sex while women get appreciation and care. You’re just using this to deflect the actual discourse. Please quote where OP said men should use women for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 10:37 AM
13

That’s because doing the opposite requires empathy and understanding. That entails seeing men as their own beings and not a generalization of evil. It’s much harder to hate and show bigotry if you understand and empathize with the target.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 10:35 AM
49

100% agree. That’s why I find the direct comparisons inaccurate. It just ends up as a supply and demand issue. Most people get what they accept and what’s capable to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 10:29 AM
2

As someone who’s friends with and around a lot of women I would say they have it easier, but also less safe. They also have the downside of not getting commitment from the dudes they often want, that’s where a lot of settling comes in. The best place to be is a highly- moderately desired man. You tend to get somewhat similar benefit that women get while still keeping other privileges such as safety and commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 07:56 AM
6

The object at hand is the sexual organ. But I believe you are arguing in bad faith so there’s no point in trying to reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 07:16 PM
7

It’s similar in the sense that you objectify someone’s personality and who they are to a sexual organ. While also correlating bad behaviour to someone physical attribute that they cannot change. Which in itself is toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 07:12 PM
5

Then if that is true “small dick energy” would’ve been coined and primarily used by men, would it not?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 06:46 PM
8

Okay your are grossly disingenuous is you don’t think there’s plenty of women throwing “lil dick energy” around.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 06:23 PM
13

Men call it out all the time lol. But if you have an anti male bias then it’s easy to see how you would overlook it. Also most of these extreme takes tend to be said in echo chambers. So that could also be a factor in you not seeing it. I could easily draw a parallel to those tiktoks of how women should use their charm and sexual appeal to benefit financially from men. While there are women who speak out against it they’re mostly located in like minded echo chambers.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 06:19 PM
19

I mean there are men who dehumanize women as sex objects. But often time I see online is miscommunication and lack of understanding. Funny enough the empathy and understanding of these topics are normal in the dead bedroom subs. Your point is heavily biased and if you are arguing about those men then yeah sure but to generalize it to male sexuality is inaccurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 05:55 PM
0

They get the point. They just want to detract from the actual point I was trying to make, which is funny as they end up proving my main point. Due to our generally different experiences we tend to view dating from our lens.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 10:23 AM
1

I fully agree. It is risky and also depends on a lot of checks. Also the personality of the people. In my relationship I tend to have more “authority”. This isn’t cause I have a need of power but more so I love being responsible and being responsible over a person is how I show my love. My partner enjoys it as she feels a weight off her and there is a level of trust I’ve built up by showing my capabilities. It’s highly complicated and I don’t recommend it for 90% of the general public.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 10:12 AM
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The problem with this take and a lot of online discourse is that they create an extreme caricature of people so that they can create a point. In reality the morals of a person sits in a gray area. There’s characteristics that people find attractive and moral while not finding said person attractive. That’s where you tend to get a lot of resentment (niceguys). There are less discussed attract I’ve features that tend to be overlooked. Also considering women aren’t these perfect arbiters of moralit…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 10:08 AM
2

Sex is important for most men but you out it in the way as that’s the only thing they value. Thats why i suggested then most men will just get sex workers instead. The issue with your premise is that it doesn’t give space for nuance and creates a hyperbolic caricature.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 10:21 AM
5

It’s heavily generalized and has tons of limitations. The male hive mind in your perspective is a sub set of men who ONLY view sex as an importance. Which isn’t true for most men. If that’s so then men wouldn’t bother with women or getting wives and instead just use sex worker services. For the women aspect I think it’s actually a large minority. Yes there’s plenty of women who would be with someone for monetary benefits but that’s limited to women who don’t desire you. If they can’t get that as…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 10:11 AM
4

Try but to go with your theme, you should also be weary of the wizard. He might not give you what you need as it might increase competition. He might have a natural affinity to elemental magic and so his pathway might not translate if you have an affinity of conjuration. While you might learn something from him you also need to have a way to translate it to benefit you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 10:02 AM
1

Improving your social skills is largely underrated. Even though it’s a little bit more abstract so neuro divergent people might struggle with it more. There’s physical attraction and while hugely important one aspect a lot of men seem to not get, is how you make her feel. Because this has more factors than physical attraction it’s harder for most to understand. An example will be women who pick shit and unattractive partners. It tends to be a physical representation of themselves. It might valid…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 09:59 AM
8

My point of it being malicious was against a common take I normally see online. Many dudes act like women are some sort of cabal that sacrifices goats and has meetings on how to lie to men lol. Also getting advice from men who are successful isn’t necessarily as fool proof. Most people lack the high level of self reflection so even he might not know the root of his success. What I found works better is high level of observation, listening to different people and how to conform it to yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 09:50 AM
20

I don’t think it’s malicious but rather ignorance by using their experience and perceiving it as the norm. Women tend to have the priveledge of being desired so their focus tends to be on other aspects (safety, commitment etc.). While men tend to have the priveledge of safety and commitment (more times than not) so they tend to focus on desirability. That’s why often you see the advice women generally give men isn’t as effective. It’s like how your parents thought you going to offices and giving…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 09:15 AM
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100% Yes there’s ways for you to find out but it’s not really a guarantee. That’s why I end up taking women who sleep with me early on more seriously. Not only do I have somewhat a guarantee on being desired but also finding out our sexual compatibility (which is important to me). The dudes who hold resentment I find it relatively pointless. They should focus on improving themselves so as to have more options. Then things in this nature end up mattering less.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 09:19 AM
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I think there’s a disconnect here. You’re completely valid to want that but the men who argue are talking about them having to wait while others didn’t. There’s some truth to what both of yall are saying. I think if it’s you making everyone wait then most of them would agree too. Personally it doesn’t matter to me as I hold no resentment. These dudes who do just lack the options and that’s why they feel attacked.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 08:38 AM
2

Or another thing is only entertain people who have genuine desire for you. All those things tend to be there naturally and don’t need to be forced.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 01:59 PM
2

How can you explain the red pill without using the matrix lol. But like every ideology there’s the inception, general idea and how it’s expressed in the public. The inception of the red pill was similar to being woke. Keep yourself in the know and move accordingly. The system wasn’t beneficial to these men so they found strategies round it, but instead of changing they try and exploit it themselves. A lot of people who aren’t necessarily red pill agree with a lot of their ideas, most people find…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 10:48 AM
6

Unfortunately since most men are less desirable they tend to “need” to put in a lot of effort to court women. Thats why I advise dudes to stop looking at getting women as a major part of their life. They should be spending more time and effort in building themselves up, in terms of looks, charisma, career and health. Thus actually increasing their desirability and attracting more women as a bi-product.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 08:09 AM
3

The men who think this way understand it as reciprocity. “If I put this effort what will I get back?”, and since most of the planning and payment of the dates is generally done by men they would want intimacy as reciprocity. If it was about just payments then they would more likely go to a sex worker.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 07:57 AM
3

I think it’s more about supply and demand. Women tend to have way more options than most men. That’s why a lot of times the burden of courtship is on men. If you increase your desirability then that gap becomes smaller and that’s where you see more women putting in that effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 07:54 AM
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True, while it would take some time I feel it’s more of an inevitability. Relationships with a large gap are often transactional. If you remove the need for those transactions they will inherently become less.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 07:51 PM
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I agree, I was speaking on the women who do go for these types of relationships. I’m not insinuating that it’s majority of women. Also while I do think relationships closer in age are better, those studies have limitations including your personal experience. It was taken in the US so it doesn’t factor other places. Since western countries are more egalitarian it could also be a factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 07:34 PM
1

I don’t disagree but this was more for The women who are attracted to older men and not the general population of women. While most women prefer the dude to be older, majority it’s a slight age gap. There are other benefits to these relationships too. The benefits only matter to the people who would see them as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 10:54 AM
0

The maturity aspect is pretty funny. Most young women who believe that they are too mature for the age group are not as mature as they think. Over confidence in your ability while lack the maturity of self reflection makes you a prime target. Of course this changes if she’s older, but that’s why you have a lot of older women advising young women to not date older men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 10:28 AM
1

True but by then she’s highly likely already attached.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 10:10 AM
-2

They are a myriad of reasons Attraction: a lot of women are attracted to masculine features. These tend to be culturally and physically found in older men (30+). Lack of attraction in men: women who generally don’t find most men attractive switch their desires to other aspects (provision, intelligence, maturity etc). If you can’t find the ideal then you tend to settle for the best of right now. Femininity: older men are seen as more masculine so they tend to make the woman feel more feminine as …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 10:06 AM
4

Hey… Nuanced discussions aren’t allowed and since you are a woman (can’t call you incel), I’ll call you a pick me so I don’t need my views to be challenged and reflected on. 😎
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 08:42 AM
5

Saw a post about male-female friendships and I realized people lack nuance and see life through a comfort lens.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 08:27 AM
17

I’d say it’s a little bit more complex. They are way more progressive in accepting gender identity and different sexualities. Youth tends to rebel the status quo, and now some people have made conservatism the counter culture. So it seems there’s a shift backwards. OP has it wrong as many women have completely different archetypes of attraction. While there are plenty of Gen Z women attracted to the iteration of masculinity there’s plenty who are attracted to the moody, emo lanky artist. I’d eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 06:16 PM
1

It’s just cope for both men and women. Since they lack substance and accountability they tend to have those negative experiences. Instead of self reflection they want to confirm their biases and blame others
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 08:09 AM
2

I don’t think unconditional love actually exists. Especially in relationships, there’s expectations, standards preference etc. Although it kind of funny that the other commenter used sex like it’s something only men want and is provided by the woman. It’s telling.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 07:53 AM
4

Unfortunately these power dynamics are super common in both men and women (slightly more for women). It works either by thinking the dude is so great he’s “above me” or her self worth is so low that he’s above her as a result.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:47 AM
1

True this wasn’t directed at that kind of person rather than just general trends
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 11:04 AM
5

We are blind to the priveledge we have. A lot of things that benefits us becomes the baseline rather than being viewed as a gift. By comparing the experiences of men and women you’ll of course see an imbalance. Similar to how they see the imbalance but of safety rather than desirability. The issue arises when that priveledge is called out to dismiss their issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 09:35 AM
1

You’re looking for equality while men and women exist in different positions. Since most women are more desired than most men the burden of romance falls on the dude during courtship. This tends to change during a relationship or if the woman puts the man above her. That’s why you see plenty of women complain on the lack of effort of men during relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 08:52 AM
3

Because women are sitting there rubbing their hands like some Disney villain going “yes how can I lie and manipulate men”. Women are socialized in a way that they have been heavily criticized and over policed. So by result they tend to have appropriate answers rather than true answers. Take those attractive mugshots as an example. If women comment how hot the dude is they receive major backlash (see women are sluts and hate good men), while in the case of female mugshots the comments are mostly …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 10:19 PM
2

I wouldn’t say it’s malicious or even conscious. It’s a result of how women have been socialized. Young women tend to be over policed and people put women on a pedestal. Since men generally haven’t, they tend to be more in tune with their attractions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 10:02 PM
3

Yeah I think you nailed it. Just wanted to add that even some people who consider themselves progressive still hold toxic views. This feels like the “women are wonderful” phenomena. Putting women on a pedestal allows you to have more criticism of them
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 09:56 PM
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I think most men would agree on the importance of physical attraction. The resentment comes from the fact that they are always told that’s not the case and personality plays a bigger role (which isn’t wholly true). And this doesn’t count the take of what “personality” is. Most advice is to be nice and put in effort. While these are good traits, they weigh less than being assertive, carrying yourself in high praise and understanding what truly attracts women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 09:47 PM
4

People are too rigid to understand this phenomena. It takes a lot of social skill to “approach” women and when women say they don’t want to be approached, it’s a nuanced take. Often times people cold approach without the suaveness and smoothness. They make the woman feel targeted, they don’t give them an “out”, no build up and no social insurance whatsoever. Ofc you’ll have much less success from this and it’s the type most women mean when they say they don’t want to be approached (with a caveat…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 08:38 AM
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I’ve had friends who were somewhat mini celebs (like very lowkey), and what I’ve observed is that the dynamic is different. Female attraction is a bit more multi faceted than men’s in a general sense. There’s attraction but I big one most men don’t know is how you make them feel. Being with a celeb makes them feel better than others so that can create attraction. In other cases they know that they need to put out to hang out with them so it’s cost of business. But oh boy, if yall ever wanted to …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 08:26 AM
2

It works for everyone it’s just more women benefit from it than men. It’s due to the fact that most women are seen as attractive while most men are seen as unattractive. Funny enough I also had a friend who went from super unattractive to above average. Her life literally changed. Like before she wouldn’t exist to most people (men and women). She wouldn’t exist get cut in line because people “didn’t notice she was there”. Then after the glow up people actually look her in the eye while talking t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 01:06 PM
3

It’s true, look at the amount of effort the average woman puts in her looks compared to the average man. But it also enables women to believe that their other qualities are much more than they actually are. If you take beauty out of the equation, most women will be invisible just like most men. As a dude who had a glow up but remained the same internally it was crazy to experience. I’m considered funnier (same jokes I would make), nicer (actually became a little more of a dickhead), smarter and …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 11:36 AM
3

For most women rules only exist for men they don’t desire as much. Thats actually the main way I get a potential partner. The amount of women who’ve said “they don’t hookup on the first date” (they did with me), “they don’t cook for men” (came over my house to cook me dinner), “they don’t suck dick”(…), is absolutely hilarious.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 09:38 AM
7

The red pill exists as a counter to mainstream takes. Due to culture change and the lack of supporting men through it, you have a lot of disenfranchised men. The main issue is that majority of the red pill tend to weaponize those men. If there was more nuanced takes from the mainstream the red pill would crumble. Like if the mainstream view of women was to say “yeah being nice and not misogynistic is a good thing, but being attractive and charismatic are more important to attract women”, there’d…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 10:38 AM
1

I think direct comparisons is pretty ineffective. In general men and women have different experiences. The main one is having choices, as most men aren’t as desired. The disconnect comes from a lack of empathizing different situations. For men like OP who aren’t as desired, being desired is seen as the major win. Since most women aren’t generally desired, that isn’t necessarily their goal. Other factors like compatibility, goals and safety are seen as the goal. A better understanding would be me…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 10:16 AM
12

I think the main issue isn’t necessarily critiquing women but rather keeping extreme views and lacking nuance. And add to the hypocrisy in most spaces (women are gold diggers, so let me make a lot of money and attract the very same gold diggers I supposedly hate).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:39 AM
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I agree that personality and looks are not fully mutually exclusive, and have several tie in points. It’s more of the women who do post it online. I think both are important, but society clearly prioritizes looks. Not to mention things like the halo effect and that meme of “sexual harassment vs flirtation”. If women say “you’re not hot enough to be this misogynistic” half the red pill arguments turn into dust lol
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 05:12 PM
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I wouldn’t say misogyny is a non factor, it’s just not as end all be all. It’s less important generally but more important if you want a quality partner. Think of it in this way. A 9/10, 6/10 and 3/10 dude who’s misogynistic. It’s -1 for the attractive dude, -2 for the averagish dude, -3 for the unattractive dude (Halo effect considered). That means the first dude becomes 8/10, which is still highly sought after and has minimal change. The second dude becomes a 4/10, hurts his chances but not co…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 02:20 PM
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While I agree the differences are that men aren’t generally more honest about it. Hence the whole “crazy-hot scale”. Like if an incels complains, most women will tell him the reason is that he is misogynistic. While there’s some truth to it, it’s more like he’s too ugly and uncharismatic to be misogynistic and still attract women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 10:39 AM
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You’re exaggerating it in a way to “win” an argument. Do you want women to settle for men? Trust me it leads to a whole myriad of issues down the line.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 10:11 AM
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I applaud the honesty. If more people could be more unapologetically honest then I think we could understand each other more. I never understood why women were so picky when I was a teenager. Then i levelled up, got more options and then I finally got it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 09:49 AM
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Yeah I don’t think you should settle. The good thing about being desired is you’re less desperate to conform and have more wiggle room. That’s why I normally advise dudes to improve their looks and charisma, so they could also be desired and have options.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 09:33 AM
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I don’t believe it’s extremely rare but I agree that there’s more competition for them. Because most women have been always desired by men, they don’t have the need to put in a lot of effort or improve themselves to attract men. That changes when it’s a man who’s more rare. Now you are competing with other women and need to find a reason for him to pick you. Yes you might be pretty but a dude like that has plenty of pretty women to choose from. The others could be more pleasant, less argumentati…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 09:12 AM
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A lot of men are okay with that notion. It’s just society tends to delude that fact. Things like personality over looks, while possible, is more of PR than having a more nuanced take.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 08:51 AM
–

This is the issue with putting women on a pedestal and ascribing morality to the ability to get women. Women are just like men, in the way that there’s horrible women, amazing women and all in between. If the goal is just attracting women then morality has little effect. If it’s to increase your chance of getting a quality woman and having a good relationship, then being a good person is key.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 08:50 AM
2

True but I think age ranges dictate that a bit more. Like the k pop thing might be more probable if you are looking for someone who’s in their 20s to late teens. Cooking classes would be more common for 30+. But like in all, it’s a conversation starter and a way to put yourself out there more. If you ugly and got no charisma then they wouldn’t do jack lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 01:27 PM
36

You’re mixing up “truly non monogamous people” and people who want to take advantage of that lifestyle. If it started as a monogamous relationship and then was opened, yeah that’s 90% likely not going to work. About the biphobia that’s unfortunately super common. Hell I know progressive women (straight, bi or queer) get away with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 11:30 AM
3

It’s difficult. I’ve seen a lot of progressives get it wrong due to the whole “men bad, women good” mentality. Then adding to their unchecked bias as they see men as a whole more privileged so I don’t need to help them. While the conservatives, heck they want the status quo to remain plus disenfranchised men is one of their largest bases. I do believe it will get better, but it’s going to take a long ass time.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 11:17 AM
3

This is where the communication breaks down lol Being a K pop fan won’t automatically make you attractive to women, but it could be away to create conversation and interactions with women. The more the opportunity the better your odds. However to the men reading this thinking they are gonna look up some BTS songs, you’ll be in a world of disappointment. It has its cons as many women will see you less masculine and more friend and brother rather than a potential partner. You still need a base lev…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 11:12 AM
5

It’s a bit complex if we are looking at reality and the way society works. By the way I’m against it but it important to understand why many generally aren’t. Most people cannot see men as victims, especially if the perpetrator is a woman. They might if the victim was a child, but many don’t consider teenagers as children (the reaction would be much different if the boy was like 7). Sex is often seen as something a man does to a woman, you have several countries that legally can’t call it rape. …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 11:01 AM
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A lot of these extreme feminists are mostly online, where it’s driven by echo chambers, outrage and engagement. Similar to the online red pill. It’s easier to form that toxicity. In real life most people agree with main feminist takes like how most men agree with some ideologies of the red pill. But they both mostly exist in the moderate scale in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 09:36 AM
1

I just limit it to friends or people who ask me for advice. If they listen, great. However more often than not, they don’t so well sucks for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 09:24 AM
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I think it’s because feminism is a large ideology so while there is common things agreed on (education, bodily autonomy, chance of employment), there’s other takes that are fragmented (sex work, certain gender roles, being a stay at home mom). You have plenty of feminists who are out right against sex work, others that think it should be more regulated and workers shouldn’t be exploited, and others who are pro sex work. My take was saying that feminists are pro porn is a generalized view brought…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 09:23 AM
2

While seeing those dudes make me sick, I have to appreciate the advantage it gives me. Those dudes pull the bar lower so shoutout to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 09:13 AM
2

The last part is what I’ve been trying to tell these dudes. Improving yourself, creating worth and self respect will give you more options. Having more options allows you to be more critical of your potential partner. There’s a lot of men who don’t have many options so they tend to commit to the person who would say yes. Ignoring red flags and incompatibility issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 08:51 AM
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This is a hilarious take. I’ve met more female feminists who are against porn, than men who are the primary consumers of it. Weaponizing sex is literally an online thing as a lot of feminist irl actually hate being overly sexualized and would rather be praised for their achievements. The DiCaprio take is also funny. He’s legally allowed to do it and does, oh no some people online won’t like him for it, the tragedy. If you leverage your financial success to get women, then complain about gold dig…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 08:25 AM
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There’s different aspects to it. We need to understand online feminism and red pill is more radical and often times not reflective of real life. There’s an environment of tribalism used by these ideologies rather than grounded views (my team vs your team). This is evident with the response to any criticisms of the group (misogynst or cuck). There are similar in the sense that the average person shares their ideologies but they have been marketed to be toxic so they tend to not identify with them…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 07:58 AM
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I mean I still think there’s some differences, if spoken in the general sense. Take for example the whole “hookup material vs husband/wife material”. Most women would be happy to be considered wifey and not a hookup while for men it’s not the same reaction. This is because of certain differences in how we feel love/desire and the society around us.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 12:24 PM
4

Disregarding the whole “real man”, I think they want to go back to a time idealized in their head. Also by creating a guideline you remove authenticity of those actions. There’s plenty of women who would do a lot on that list, naturally. They also don’t consider that some men want different things and don’t care about some shit (like last name). Then you factor in most people who are stringent on gender roles tend to not follow their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:58 AM
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Damn it’s that obvious lol. I used to but have shifted to another role in corporate, still has a few sales components. My hyper awareness and hyper analysis were a result of me realizing I’m “different” when I was a young teen. I didn’t want to be accepted just to be liked, but rather not having to deal with the inconvenience that came with it. It has its benefits, but there’s also cons that come with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:18 AM
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That’s true. However if it’s a casual hookup kind of scenario then initial attraction is less detrimental. I wouldn’t recommend it if it’s for a potential long term relationship. It brings a lot of problems
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:49 AM
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I agree a lot of men can’t pull it off and that’s why they have a harder time. I’m autistic so part of my masking was learning how people work (it’s pretty fascinating). As a consequence, I’m hyper aware of myself and interaction with others. This ends up being beneficial to not just my romantic and sexual life but also friendship and work life.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:27 AM
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I mean it’s a little bit more nuanced than that. Yes being really attractive gives you more room for error but it’s not the end all be all. Also there’s plenty of women attracted to average men who have a high-ish level of charisma. I have a friend who’s more attractive than me (societal wise), but I’ve seen him fumble a lot of times. I was average looking and had more success than him. He normally would overthink it and either do too much, or clam up and do basically nothing. So it’s not as sim…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:22 AM
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I agree but have to point out some naivety. He highly likely had a game plan and it’s something you might have not picked up on. A successful game plan is supposed to feel authentic so as to not make the woman feel targeted.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:10 AM
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Another thing is a lot of dudes don’t know how to build tension. I’ve seen several situations where the dude either cockblocks himself for doing too much or is scared and doesn’t do enough. Balancing sexual tension with platonic chemistry greatly increases your chances of hooking up by the end of the night.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:08 AM
10

Also another factor is “pretty priveledge”. Being attractive multiplies your good qualities and soften your bad ones. As someone who was unattractive and became more attractive, it is as clear as night and day. My jokes were more well received, my assertiveness was attractive now, my “bad” qualities are more tolerable etc. This isn’t to say personality (mainly charisma) is futile if you aren’t attractive. It will still greatly increase your success rates.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 07:30 AM
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I think the main issue is the disconnect between what men want and what women want generally. I believe OP believes since that’s what she wants, that means that what men should want. OP doesn’t understand that since most women are desired they take it as a base pre-requisite. If it’s true for men then her logic would be sound. Since most men aren’t generally as desired, that tends to be an important factor in their life. Adding other things such as being rewarded as a stand up guy. So they see i…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 10:49 AM
1

lol okay
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 03:44 PM
1

So if it was your celebrity crush who asked you out on a coffee date you’d refuse?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 03:26 PM
1

The amount of times I’ve heard this take on the coffee date is hilarious, however real life proves otherwise. I’m not talking about online, cause it’s easily altered, but real life. The main advantage of having female friends and women in your life is you get to see the behind the curtain outlook. Often times men overcompensate the lack of desire by making tons of effort. Fancy first dates, trips, paying the woman’s electric bill etc, I have never done that and still had plenty of success. The k…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 03:20 PM
5

Id agree there’s generally “less” effort but I think it’s because men are seeing what other men are getting away with. One thing I’ve seen is that the more she likes you, the less effort is required. The notion of jestering and pea cocking works in cases there’s some interest. Like look at the whole coffee date discourse. If she likes you she’d be super down.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 07:35 AM
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I respect it. This the prime studpidity the internets been missing. Shoutout to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 12:17 PM
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It’s a common misconception male lions also hunt in cases of large prey or stealing a kill from a pack of hyenas. They also tend to hunt at night more so we saw majority of the hunts being lionesses.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:04 AM
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I think he’s point is the lowered inhibition can greatly affect some women being more proactive. I’ve witnessed it plenty of times and even had a previous relationship start because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 10:57 AM
3

I think the main issue is order. We are currently going through a transitional period a lot of young men are stuck in where they are so they tend to get bedazzled by these kind of dudes. Men who are comfortable with their own masculinity and have a sense of critical thinking tend to see their grift. Dan Blizerian is a scammer who pays women to hang out with him. Joe Rogan is an Weasley dude who lacks critical thinking skills and pretty anti-science. Their grift tends to work on younger dudes ins…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 08:32 AM
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A lot of men don’t understand that for a lot of women, it’s not only what you look like, but how you make them feel. Yes there are attributes that are generally seen as attractive (height, build, face). But it’s more complicated, in the sense that there’s plenty of softer qualities that can easily boost general attraction. This doesn’t include personality and charisma, which can heavily affect your overall attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 08:10 AM
3

submissive doormat You want to exaggerate things so as to demonize people. Being pleasant doesn’t make you a doormat. You can be generous without being a sucker. You can be assertive without being controlling etc. Also being pleasant and being an equal partner aren’t mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 12:43 PM
3

You’re still ignoring the “peaceful, pleasant and friendly” aspect. For a lot of men (including me) being attractive (to the person as people have their tastes), and peaceful and pleasant means they’re like 70% there. Of course their other aspects but those are more likely to hold less weight. I’m confused though, do you want your partner to consider you unattractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 11:04 AM
1

People also significantly lack nuance in these discussions, so it evolves in people trying to confirm their bias rather than living in actual reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:12 AM
3

I wouldn’t necessarily say that those men are vain but rather it’s just what they want. It’s pretty entitled to feel like you have to appeal to everyone, with your qualities or they are wrong in some way. It’s funny because if the genders were changed yall would be calling OP an entitled incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:10 AM
1

I’d say it’s more of the need for finding explanations and pattern recognition. Yeah it might explain it in a general sense but humans are complex so even if it works in a general sense it’s not a concrete science.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:17 AM
3

I think the resentment is OP is looking at what men are generally attracted to in the same light as what women are attracted to. The main indicator is “uneducated = not intelligent”. There are some points that men generally don’t care or care as much as women. This is then emphasized on social media and the “boss babe” trend. OP should be what makes her happy and search for a partner that is compatible with that, rather than build resentment trying to appeal to most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:02 AM
6

I think the issue is people using statistics without contextualization. Let’s take the felon one for example. They don’t consider their environment, which crime itself isn’t a huge turn off. They don’t consider attractiveness, the kind of women who they deal with, their “game” and other qualities that are beneficial to hooking up and being with some women. I’d say the biggest one not heavily considered is they have lower standards and shoot their shot like it’s on full auto. However on the other…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 09:31 AM
4

It’s funny because men are often told to take accountability while women are generally valued. If a dude vents that he has trouble attracting women. He’s normally told workout, improve your hygiene, get hobbies etc. while for women, they are normally told to be patient and wait for the right one. Which in my opinion hurts the women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:40 AM
7

Everyone can express their opinion but my point was rather the quantification of the preferences. She can say she wants someone taller and he can want a woman with bigger tits but it’s the normalization of the number. It’s the difference of me saying I prefer slim women or “you need to be 125lbs to talk to me”. My point on the demand was to illustrate the false equivalence between each genders. You can’t have accurate comparisons because they aren’t equal (in this sense). Also I don’t think anyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:04 AM
2

While I do agree that woman would face some criticism, it would be much less than a man saying “she needs to be at least a 34 DD”. Also the comparison with men and women would need to be taken with some nuance. The average woman is way more desired than the average man. So she has more “demand”.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 08:40 AM
3

I’d agree to an extent but generally women’s desires are more acceptable in the mainstream. There’s man my women who use the 6 foot standard but I haven’t seen a man say she needs to be at least a 34 DD. If they do they are generally met with more criticism. However I think that it’s basically a supply and demand issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 08:24 AM
4

100%. While there are certain traits that generally are found attractive, they don’t consider what women actually want. But it’s because people want to confirm their bias rather than try to find out the truth. They lack nuance and would rather a gotcha moment than actually have discussion and learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 08:31 AM
1

Yeah I’m on the same boat. Choosing your partner well is really important. Saying my partner has been one of the most important thing in my life is plainly true.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:06 PM
3

I think it’s a more person to person thing. Some rate it very high and others don’t. What I do notice is that this sentiment generally comes more from women and there’s a priveledge aspect to it. Women generally won’t struggle to get attraction from men so they tend to not value it as high. I came to understand it more when I started having a lot of options. I generally obsessed with it less and would cringe at my old self
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:56 PM
1

I think it’s lack of self reflection. Most people don’t do it or are incapable of criticizing their own selves. So unless it’s thrown to her face she won’t see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 04:14 PM
3

Yeah a woman who would accept “okay fine be my GF” and a young dude who doesn’t know what he’s doing, recipe for disaster. OP should focus on herself while being single for a while, so she can improve her self esteem. Then be with someone who actually desires you and not a participation trophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 10:54 AM
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Yeah I find this method having the most success generally. It also factors in power dynamics in addition to the woman feeling safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 03:10 AM
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I think most will agree with feminism’s core principles. The issue comes with how mainstream feminism tends to portray it. A lot of mainstream feminism spends effort in offending men rather than being for healthy discourse. See the “man vs bear” debate. As a feminist myself I’ve seen it in a lot of progressive spaces and while I do champion women’s rights I can understand the growing hatred for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 09:45 AM
3

The issue is that OP is looking at it in a black and white sense rather than a spectrum of gray. While majority aren’t walking around saying they can’t wait to beat their partner or create complex psychopathic plans, majority are in between. Also I’m autistic so my mask is pretty much my identity, so it’s not just a symptom of psychopathy. It’s a rather complex subject that OP is oversimplifying
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:51 PM
6

I have plenty of female friends and 3 super close ones. Can you not tell what a genuine friendship is? If someone remains your friend in hope to get you romantically, that is not what genuine friendship is. If you muddy up the too you end up creating and enabling a stigma against inter gendered friendships.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:30 PM
1

I don’t consider it a consolidation naturally. But in the sense of hey I don’t view you romantically but we can be friends is a consolidation prize.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:24 PM
8

Yeah most people don’t rape and physically abuse their partners too. My point is that you don’t need to be a mastermind to “fool” people. Also yeah you can look at things retroactively and it makes sense but before an issue it’s pretty common to not see it coming.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 11:07 AM
14

Tbh it doesn’t take a brilliant manipulator to still be super successful. Most people aren’t playing detective 24/7 and while hindsight can help you understand after, it doesn’t always when it’s happening. It’s like if your friend (who never had a violent past) comes and tells you he hates his boss. You’ll probably be like yeah he’s an asshole (boss). Then you come and find out after the dude murdered his boss. Yeah he told you he hated him but should you have called the police of that?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 10:57 AM
12

Isn’t being in the friend zone being a little bitch with no back bone though? You either haven’t attempted to make a move or you have and are stuck with a consolidation prize. Not getting what you want so settling for a crumb
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 10:00 AM
1

I mean I don’t know you personally so I won’t argue against that. There’s still many other factors in play; attractiveness, charisma, culture and the type of person. It can also create more opportunities but not necessarily more success.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 09:41 AM
4

I wouldn’t say help in a direct way, but rather set up opportunities. To a woman a man being around other women creates curiosity and/or desire. Especially if those women are considered attractive. I’ve personally hooked up with plenty of my female Friends’ homegirls. Even when going out with a female friend to a club I would get way more attention from other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 09:32 AM
1

I wouldn’t say the loneliness epidemic is on women’s standards but a multitude of other factors at play. My autism isn’t severe and I mask it really well, most people can’t tell. Funny enough learning to mask has super charged my charisma and while I’m not super hot, I’ve done pretty well for myself. Especially after I improved my physique, hair care and skin care. I’m the peak of medium ugly lol. Plus most couples are either similar in looks or the woman looks way more attractive. I have never …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 07:23 PM
1

I mean it’s not that extreme. I’m autistic (mask really well tho), good genes (arguable), tall (yeah but not TALL). Yall should really go outside. Like everyone knows a goblin looking 5’4 dude with like 2 baby mamas. Yeah would he get more women if he was taller, sure. But he does well for himself. I’m confused like how many women you know here in a relationship with a 6’5 billionaire model. Majority of people are mediocre and end up with mediocre partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 06:28 PM
1

I mean women will deny it and those men will waste their time trying to “prove them wrong”. But wouldn’t say it’s a given but rather a general trend. I’ve been approached by women before (women have no game lol). A lot of men want that but aren’t willing to put in the work to be someone who gets that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 08:52 AM
11

Yeah I agree. People tend to keep certain things that benefit them especially if it isn’t seen as immoral. Men would be the same if it was in the other foot. Also women do approach and pay if need be. That need tends to be for men who they genuinely desire. There’s a lot of men who aren’t generally desired so they don’t know this and that’s where the misconception happens. It’s like if I had my dream car I’d be 100% okay doing extra maintenance in the garage. If it’s a car I’m meh with then that…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 06:50 PM
3

Unfortunately they do. They just use it to manipulate people for support.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 02:58 PM
1

I mean even by your experience it’s logically dumb. You’ve had 10 bear encounters while how many thousands of encounters you’ve had with men your whole life. It’s like me saying vending machines are more dangerous than great white sharks due to statistics. We all choose to offended. I can’t insult someone and then tell them “well you chose to be offended” lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 02:48 PM
-1

I don’t get this obsession to placing blame. I am not blaming her for it but rather illustrating the consequences of inaction. We saw a shift in young men to more regressive ideologies. There were bad actors who capitalized on the lack of attention young men and boys received. No one is obligated to have such discourse but we still face the negative consequences of not doing so.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 02:31 PM
1

I mean I understand it was to make a point but it does so my linking men to a dangerous wild animal. It also ended up regressing the discourse of women safety, by just offending people. There was a similar retort against it “ would you rather open up to a woman or a tree”, and most answers were the tree. Yes it was retaliatory in nature but it also shows that men don’t feel safe being vulnerable with women. It got a lot of backlash (deservedly so), but it’s the same concept. If you focus on offe…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 02:23 PM
-1

It’s just a shame that progressive space can’t/wont see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:14 PM
3

Unfortunately we are in an era of outrage and engagement. Civil and productive discourse aren’t as boosted as rage baiting groups. Instead of having productive discussions on how to make women feel safer we get dehumanizing men into wild dangerous animals (bears vs men). In reality activism is hard and labour intensive, it’s easier to just dehumanize one group to feel morally superior.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 12:40 PM
6

Yeah I think instead of downplaying other struggles we can still communicate the injustices upon us. We have gamified positions in a way it’s my team vs yours without looking at the bigger picture. This ends up slowing down progress for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 10:10 AM
-2

It’s by no means your responsibility but then we can’t be shocked that it ends up slowing down progress. If we don’t engage people who are wrong there’s bad faith actors who will continue funneling them into extremes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 09:53 AM
4

It’s not a guarantee as there’s so many factors in play. That’s just one of the ones I’ve seen. Similar to a woman who was unattractive and didn’t get as much male attention. When she glows up and gets that attention she’ll want to start a “hoe phase” it’s still not a guarantee but a factor that could come in play. Even if some men are attracted to that age group there’s other factors to consider. Such as immaturity, differences in life stages, harder to achieve connections, finances etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 09:27 AM
1

It really depends on the guy. I personally don’t think that’s a woman’s “prime” but even if it is physical primes tend to fade with time. There’s some dudes who do think so, so they do it if possible. There’s also a lot of resentment too. Young women tend to be valued more than young men, so when the men get older they tend to go for what they couldn’t before.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 09:14 AM
11

I think they are talking about it in a general sense. Of course it’s not perfect science but rather appeal. I personally don’t find Sydney Sweeney attractive but I understand that she has general appeal. If I’m 6’3, attractive, charismatic, high status etc. I’ll appeal to most women. Does that mean I’ll be everyone’s cup of tea? No. But I’ll appeal to more women than the average man.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 08:56 AM
1

I’m curious how many views to those vids have in comparison to them kicking women out
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 02:14 AM
3

I mean if you literally take a look at the most prominent influencers of the space it’s easy to come to that conclusion. Literally their views on actual self improvement aren’t great but when it comes to shitting on OF girls they sky rocket
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 08:05 PM
2

True I might be blinded to some priveledge I have. But I think the main issue is that men actually listen to what these women say. If that was the truth then all the nice, quiet, shy, nerdy guys would be surrounded by women. Also the comment about the “Chad”. Yes he might disclose some women but it’s actually a small percent. Did my approach limit me from some women? Probably. You can’t get everyone. But one thing I’ve observed from women and female friends is that those expectations are said in…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:28 AM
2

The issue I have with TRP is that it focuses on hating women, deals with extremes and is basically a grift. They tend to pick a group of women with certain characteristics (gold diggers) and extrapolate it to the entire gender. And the most popular voices are just lame dudes preying on even lamer dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:03 AM
7

Nah I got it from the Chanel bag but there’s actual women who do think this way too. I make the same criticisms to the men who want a trad partner but aren’t able or choose not to fulfill their part.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:32 AM
8

I think there’s other factors in play too. Notably attractiveness. People tend to construe actions from attractive people generally as positive. An attractive man who’s quiet tends to be seen as stoic and mysterious but an unattractive man whose quiet tends to be seen as anti social and creepy. Then there’s also a difference of personal opinion. Some actions to some people might be seen as arrogance but the same actions in others tend to be seen as confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:30 AM
3

I personally have never had elaborate dinner first dates. It’s mostly coffee, ice cream or a quick bite. Hell I don’t remember the last date I’ve had that hasn’t eventually lead to a hookup. No matter what most women say online, if she likes you she’s going on that coffee date or drinks. Those standards are for men they don’t necessarily like so they have to peacock for attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:21 AM
1

Oh my bad you probably know them more than me lol. Not even considering how different cultures do things. I’m from a culture where men pay and enforces more gender roles. They are Nordic so I have witnessed there more egalitarianism. Hell I’ve gone on dates where the women feel more offended if I paid. You don’t have to create a narrative to prove what you want. You can just do what you want and have your standards cause at the end of the day it’s your relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:12 AM
0

The effort part is accurate. However you assume that all men pay for everything in a date. Nowadays it’s not necessarily the case. I personally know a few men who’ve never payed for the whole date. Another issue that I see of people demanding things is that they aren’t necessarily okay with things being demanded of them. Would you come clean his spot? Make him food? Etc Similar to those men that demand a traditional woman but aren’t okay with doing their part (funding that lifestyle). But the be…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:04 AM
-1

Most men don’t care how many women criticize them if they are getting plenty of women. Ask a man “would you want 100 women to flock to you, but 10,000 women criticize you online?” I also think you overestimate the number of women an average guy can get lol. I was saying your initial comment that women would rather you not be an “alpha male” than not. In reality “Alpha males” generally have qualities women find attractive. Be it looks, money, status, charisma etc. As society we tend to be way mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 08:19 AM
-1

The issue is that it ignores everything else. Like a dude will see how many women flock to these dorks (Andrew Tate) in comparison to the average guy. What you are doing is trying to sway guys away from it by saying you’ll get more women from not being “alpha male”. This still enforces that a man’s worth is how much women he gets. Just disagreeing on the different approach to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 08:06 AM
-1

See this is only going to enable the growth of the red pill even more. Plenty of women want these “alpha males”. You are enforcing the notion of act a certain way so you’ll get rewarded by women liking you, which is one of the tenants of the red pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 07:45 AM
2

I think that’s where my beef with the red pill comes in. They start with good points (self improvement and seek out genuine desire), but they diverge to cultivating toxicity (have 50 women in rotation, get rich and deal with sugar babies, women are these dumb creatures). It’s akin to get rich quick scams.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:03 AM
7

Yeah I like to use the analogy of economic class. If you were born in a lower middle income class gaining success will be harder the someone born in an upper class or upper middle class. Does that mean you can’t? No. It takes effort, smart ways of doing it and the biggest thing, luck. Too many young men fall under this defeatist attitude, hell I’ve even seen pics of incels and majority just look the average guy. Yes in a perfect world you’d be super attractive and a billionaire, but the world is…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 07:36 PM
1

Exactly that’s why I look at it with empathy and understanding rather than “women don’t do this”. I don’t think they’re these monsters whose sole purpose is lying, the same way I don’t think dudes wake up and go “oh don’t forget to do misogyny”. A lot of it is societal and cultural based. It’s okay to criticize certain behaviors in men but not women. This leads to us creating a delusional idea that women can’t do no wrong and if you think women can do wrong you just hate women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 09:46 AM
2

Who popularized the phrase “personality> looks”? Women aren’t these benevolent beings. They are human, they have issues too. You’re creating a “women are wonderful” narrative that absolves women the basic sense of equality, which is accountability. By not being able to criticize bad habits of how some women are socialized you become less reliable. This leaves the door open for red pill grifters to do their thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 09:30 AM
1

Yeah but men are more likely to say it, rather than hide it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 09:02 AM
3

women don’t lie either, you just don’t believe them. This is insinuating that women don’t lie. If that is true then there’s plenty of “chads” that would find it super difficult to attract women while the unattractive nerdy nice guy would be surrounded by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:18 PM
1

Yall are both arguing from the opposite extreme sides. Women are these Disney villains twirling the mustaches and consciously deceiving men. While also women aren’t these benevolent creatures that are incapable of doing wrong. In reality a lot of women downplay the effects of attraction due to various reasons. One of them being that they were and still are more policed on their attraction than men. Yall aren’t trying to understand the complexities of society but trying to confirm your bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:08 PM
1

That’s because for a lot of women their attraction is a little more complex than men. There’s more abstract things that also hold a lot of weight. 1 main one is how you make them feel. I have a friend who most will say is more attractive than me but I tend to succeed more with women. It’s not as simple as what these dudes make it to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 11:29 AM
18

True but the difference is women are more criticized over it. Also they are socialized from young to be more policed in their attraction. I do have to say that society is slowly progressing out of it. Young men are told “get you a pretty girl who cooks, cleans and treat you well”. While young women are told “attractive men only want you for your body, get you a guy who treats you well and has a good job”. Hell look at those posts of attractive criminals. Some men will comment “I’d still smash” a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 10:57 AM
1

Some times they are but sometimes they aren’t. It’s pretty common for women to put up barriers for dudes they aren’t that attracted to. Similar to how men will put up with bad qualities the more attracted he is to a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 10:21 AM
17

The thing is men and women are similar to that regard. Men popularized the “ hot/crazy scale”. People tend to overlook bad things (pretty priveledge). The difference is that women have been over criticized and socialized against it from a young age. They tend to rationalize it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 10:18 AM
1

Yeah I guess it’s a little more complicated. Personally I’d rather be alone than with someone I don’t consider my dream girl and who doesn’t think I’m their dream guy. I understand that a lot of men and women won’t share the same sentiment though. I do have to knowledge that I’m more priveledge than a lot of men, as I’ve always had options. But hell some of the complaints men give me are just horrendous. While they got you with “women, am I right?”. Also I think that there’s a lot of dudes who h…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 05:22 PM
11

I think a lot more men would be okay with this dynamic however the issue with settling is that you get “less” and have to work “more”. I always tell dudes “would she act this way if you were her dream guy?”.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 12:45 PM
1

As a dude who grew up with a lot of women and have a lot of female friends I picked up a few understandings. A lot of men and women communicate differently. Men tend to be direct while a lot of women tend to use a lot of subtext and read between the lines.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:38 PM
4

If I use my dumb empirical male brain it’s inaccurate. The reason people think that men are more dangerous is due to the frequency of meetings. Walking to work you pass by over 100 men and you don’t frequently. Bear encountered an are relatively rarer. It’s kinda like you saying I’d rather be with a great white shark in the water than be left alone with a vending machine. Because more people are killed by falling vending machines than great white sharks. The premise of man vs bear is inherently …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:50 PM
3

A lot of it is farmed by grifters and eve platforms themselves. It gets loads of engagement and thus money. In the real world you ain’t seeing people have this debate in a Wendy’s lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:46 PM
1

That’s not how stats works and it’s been heavily debunked. It’s used by bad faith actors. I can debunk it for you right now but what’s the point you lack critical thinking. I love the dudes who scream facts don’t know about contexualisation and get their info from highlighted words on a Twitter meme lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:44 PM
-2

I mean if you’re white you have a much higher chance of being a victim to a white man. Please don’t tell me you’re one of those 13%, 50% guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:40 PM
-1

I didn’t say it’s okay Literally read my last sentence I do agree it’s sexist in nature
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:36 PM
1

Huh??? I said that men only value women for oral sex??
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:22 PM
1

Maybe I didn’t convey it better but rather men are happy with the rice and peas because they were starving. Rice and peas generally isn’t bad and that was a point. They were happy just not starving. Now when they see the pizza, that facade gets broken. Again this isn’t a generalization on all relationships but rather an illustration of how settling looks between genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:57 PM
2

Yeah I totally agree but also it was to farm engagement because hating men is relatively safe online. Instead of having conversations to convey how women feel it was “oh you don’t like being demonized to a literal animal, that’s why I choose the bear”.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:40 PM
-3

The premise wasn’t all men are rapists but rather I don’t feel safe around men. Of course there were some who just hate men in general. I do agree that it’s sexist in nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:09 AM
2

Yeah but a lot of times it manifests in different ways. Like for men it’s a plate of rice and peas and since he didn’t have other options he tends to enjoy it. Now he sees the waiter walk past him with pizza, now the ice and peas don’t look so good. For women it’s like she’s enjoyed pizza but now thinks she needs to eat healthier for longevity. So she picks the rice and peas. She won’t enjoy eating the rice and peas and won’t go out of her way (like driving at 3 am for rica and peas but she woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:01 AM
6

People don’t understand that it’s sensationalism plus differences in way women and men communicate. Realistically women won’t choose the bear, they say so to create a sub text to show that they feel unsafe with men. Men take it in a logical and empirical sense “A bear would fuck you up”. The thing is stupid because women in that situation would take a man, that’s why I’m the movies they scream for help not just “help me if you are a woman”. Also factor in the dumb privileged western people who d…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 10:44 AM
1

Wait I’m confused do you not think there’s women who settle for men lol It’s more abstract than her saying “look I’m settling”. It’s normally a withdrawal from sexual intimacy (compared to her before), more nagging and criticism, easier for her to disrespect boundaries etc. I have loads of female friends and family members and the way they treat the partners they want in comparison to the partners they settled for is night and day. I’d suggest posting in a male subreddit and listen to their expe…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 10:30 AM
4

Yeah I think OP is referring to women who settle rather than dislike. It’s not really about hatred but rather a comparison of interest. It’s a pretty common experience for a lot of men (not necessarily saying it’s most women). Some men do this too and end up with women because she was the only one he could get. The discussion would be better if it was about those people rather than then the whole gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 10:11 AM
4

Men clearly will say “FUCK YOU FEMINISTS!” when they want to vote against woke policies. So did majority of white women Men clearly will say “FUCK YOU FEMINISTS!” when they’re scared of illegal immigrants, So did a majority of white women Men clearly will say “FUCK YOU FEMINISTS!” when they believe a sexist racist orange man can do a better job with the economy. Again so did a majority of white women
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 07:05 PM
3

The criticism is not the issue, but it was pointed out that your thought process is wrong. You used the point of men being in MAGA as a push to feminism but neglecting that majority of white women voted MAGA too as someone replied. Instead of reflecting on your claim you dismiss it as it doesn’t fit your narrative. For example if I make a post about women being liars, you respond with men lie too as a point to illustrate that it’s not a gendered trait. I then reply “why are you bringing men into…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 06:57 PM
1

I was referring to myself
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 04:19 PM
1

Damn it’s kind of sad really
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:58 PM
5

It’s pretty funny, her hatred of men makes the point fly completely over her head. This is the problem with the “men bad, women good” way of thinking. There’s plenty of women who under her view voted against feminism. So should I as a black male be able to tell white women yall don’t know feminism and you are women haters?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:46 PM
8

So why would you post about MAGA men and not just MAGA? I do love that this sub has to make everything about women Posts men
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:36 PM
–

Here’s the thing, she doesn’t have to do anything. Does he have a gun on her head, no. I do agree that it’s dumb and I’m someone who’s for ENTHUSIASTIC consent. So trying to convince her feels degrading. There’s plenty of women who would happily do it, he should find them. The thing men don’t understand is just that she’s not that into you. I cringe so hard when I see men talk about oh I’m getting my annual birthday blowjob. Dawg there’s a dude out there that she’d be begging him to let her do i…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 11:01 AM
–

You’re manipulating it by “making her your fuck toy” to dismiss discussion. Let me give you a scenario. “Hey I’m unhappy in this relationship with her due to lack of sexual intimacy” Normal advice would be just find someone you’re more sexually compatible with. You will just scream out “SHES NOT A SEX OBJECT”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 10:49 AM
–

lol monogamous relationships are built of “entitlement” “I only want her to have romantic actions with me” - entitled to her emotions “I don’t want my partner to have sex with others while we are in a relationship” - entitled to her body Like come on, really…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 10:38 AM
9

This is “I know plenty of 6 foot plus dudes” type of take
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 10:34 AM
1

Because she doesn’t want to engage in nuanced discussion where women can be seen as the villain (in her black and white binary view). So it’s easier to call you incel (villain).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 10:31 AM
1

That’s cause a lot of people have the karmic balance fallacy. “If bad things happen to you it’s because you are a bad person”. The black and white way of thinking enables them to put people in groups rather than having nuanced discussions. A common example is how quick people are to label someone as an incel so they don’t have to engage with tough discussions. I remember there was a post about giving women a paid leave day due to their periods, and I said that it will set a bad precedent and lim…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 10:20 AM
9

Did yall just discover a lot of people are hypocrites now lol. -Europeans who call Americans racist, until you mention gypsies Some women who generalize men as trash and predatory, until you mention their son or guy best friend (they become “not all men” experts) -People who look down on the Middle East for slavery, until you ask them how their phones, jewelry and cloths are made -Men who hate on promiscuous women, then make moves on those types of women The list could go on. This ain’t a “conse…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 07:14 AM
–

Okay so I think you are misunderstanding my point. My point is that the default take has been women don’t care about looks but rather personality and how you treat her. It’s way more nuanced, yes there’s women who only care about looks, there’s women who don’t care if you look like chewed gum and in between. Women have been heavily policed since a young age so they tend to give appropriate answers rather than the truth. This doesn’t mean that they ALL don’t believe it but rather there is a good …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 11:04 AM
–

I think you misunderstood me. This take is refreshing as it takes away the concept that women are a monolith. We’ve been told for years that “women don’t care about looks and only care about personality”, that leads some dudes building resentment as it’s simply not the whole truth. Sure there some who are like that but there’s also some who aren’t. They are trying to simplify a complex situation with feel good answers.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 10:13 AM
–

Honestly these kinds of takes actually help battle off the red pill. A lot of people are too focused on the answer that makes them look the best than truth. You have the extreme in both ends from women don’t care about anything else except height, money, dick size to women only care about personality so if your not successful with women it’s because your a bad person.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:02 AM
–

It’s because for some women the illusion of happiness masks the reality of their lives. It’s not that they don’t believe their dude cheated but rather they work hard to maintain their delusion. Their partner doesn’t exist as an autonomous being but a cut out to her imagination. You see it plenty of times. The girl who gets played by the dude who has 2nd grade leading levels. It’s not that she’s actively not seeing the manipulation but rather working hard to maintain her delusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 11:56 AM
4

Sooo close. The thing is I agree that misogyny can be brought on by insecurity (there’s other reasons too). Maybe if I switch it with racism it’ll click a little more. We think racism is ugly so when we think about it we think about some loser redneck with no teeth. While in reality racism exists in all different archetypes of people. So it’s not that these losers are the epitome of misogyny but rather easily identifiable due to lack of social skills and not having the halo effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 03:41 PM
5

Hey they could just be losers… But I think the premise is that you notice the red pillers that fail rather than the ones that succeed. It’s easy for our narrative to blind us. Do I think red pillers are lame, most of them yeah. But I understand that there’s successful ones who society doesn’t come down on. To this day the most red pill/ misogynistic thing I’ve seen said and done came from a fairly successful dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 03:33 PM
5

The assumption is that what’s wrong with them is something you know or can see. Unless you grew up attached to them, know about any mental illness or how the process situations, you wouldn’t know. They might be suffering from mental health issues they themselves don’t understand, they could be autistic, there’s a plethora of things. By you assuming there life is all dandy it’s to feed your confirmation bias. Or they could just be dickheads 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 03:17 PM
5

She sees the losers and not necessarily the ones who are succeeding because that would go against her views.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 09:18 AM
8

The issue is we’ve been socialized to think there some sort of karmic balance. Bad things will happen to bad people and good things will happen to good people. This coupled with the “halo effect” leads to people thinking that the “losers” are worse people than the “winners”. Even if it’s true for some cases it put in a blanket state. Then you add to the fact that it’s easier to pick on people we see as “losers” then you get OPs take. We’d do better with a more nuanced take.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 09:18 AM
2

It was a local university group that was banned by the university. I’ve not seen that sub before I’ll probably check it out. But then if there are healthy subs as you think, then why demonize it as a whole?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:50 PM
1

Unfortunately it’s going to be difficult as demonizing men is okay. For a healthy men’s activist group we need to empathize with men, which isn’t popular with progressives. The same progressives who are the driving force in social issues. I was pointing out that your resolution doesn’t work because of what you’re doing. Instead of self reflection you went to “men are bad”. You brought out the toxicity in a way to shun progress. There’s also the fact that we as society made issues like these a te…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:35 PM
3

I find it interesting that they use the same argument the people they hate use. Unfortunately it’s quite common in the progressive space. They want to look like a good person rather than facilitating the progression of a better society.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:07 PM
3

Unfortunately it’s pretty telling how you skipped my experience rather to talk about the toxic ones. Just because it didn’t fit your assumptions, it doesn’t exist. You don’t understand that you are doing the same thing to stifle progress. By automatically going over groups like I was part of because it didn’t fit your ideology of the men aren’t doing that. We were grouping to speak on men’s mental health awareness and understanding the role of a man in this society. Because that did not fit your…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:03 PM
4

I’m not denying that. Hatred and outrage is loud and promoted. It makes more money. The same way a lot of people use toxic feminist to discredit the whole movement. I was speaking more of real life groups. Let’s use your example of men’s lib. By your view they should be toxic because of the way you blanket them together, no? I find it as a cycle. There’s toxic groups that use men’s rights as an excuse in their bigotry. There’s groups that promote healthy social conscience for men. The toxic ones…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 12:51 PM
7

The issue is you are generalizing those groups. I agree there’s plenty of toxic ones, but to repress the concept, you end up repressing the good ones. Plenty of feminists tell men that they should go do their thing. Hell even in this thread there’s saying it. Then you blanket the concepts to the loud and villainous groups, you leave men without help with their issues. Now you have a group of men without healthy outlets to understand themselves and a resentment, boom you get sheep for red pill gr…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 11:23 AM
1

I have been in feminist groups and men’s rights groups, I still consider myself a feminist. The issue is when men’s issues are brought up in feminist groups we are normally told to make our own group about it. Then when those groups pop up they are taken under the umbrella of misogyny, whether they are or not. I was in a men’s group that was focused on mental health and the role of man in this changing society. We were shutdown because “we were spreading misogyny” and were seen as the anti thesi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 11:18 AM
2

Lmaooooo I’m curious, do you not see that you are proving my point?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:56 AM
0

As someone who’s also a pacifist but understands the evilness in the world I can understand. However don’t you find it interesting as you subconsciously thought of the perpetrators rather than the defenders. During these scenarios it’s more about thinking of defending your home and people. Even though I don’t think you meant it maliciously but the demonization of men brought you to that conclusion. For your second point do you think women should only enrich other women and vice versa? Again don’…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:48 AM
4

Yes if I take 2 kids and I give 1 a lollipop it’s natural for the other one to wonder when they are getting one. Also there are/were plenty of men who fought for women’s rights. Hell even I as a man have also fought for women’s rights. Feminism can’t work if it gets support from only one side. Also it’s a little diabolical to throw out men’s rights groups. Because of the nature of society today men’s groups are automatically demonized, whether deserved or not. I’ve personally been a member of a …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:38 AM
1

Even though I know you aren’t doing it maliciously, you are proving my point. 1) when I brought on an issue “gold digging”, your initial reaction was to dismiss it (they only gold dig men who have gold”. By extension “it can’t happen to you because you aren’t rich”. 2) when countered with a more realistic take you say “date within your economic class”. Which isn’t realistic because broke people still take advantage of broke people. And the term of “what’s mine is mine, what’s his is ours”. I thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:30 AM
1

So are you okay with more men going into the red pill? Also the second paragraph is funny. Youre speaking on middle class to rich people. Lower class and lower middle class people gold dig for anything, like $100 light bill lol. I knew a couple women back then who’d be interested in a dude because he has a car (even if it was a shitbox).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 09:58 AM
12

I think it’s more about the lack of appreciation. Hell many men who make these arguments won’t want women in the front lines too. But as we progress as a society we tend to appreciate women while ignoring men. We celebrate women’s independence while saying that’s bare minimum for a man. Hell we have posts on Father’s Day not even celebrating fathers but single mothers. As we close those gaps between genders we need to also acknowledge the men or it’s just going to build resentment.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 09:53 AM
4

The first bit is misleading. Do women want to be the same as these red pill dudes by using the same standard of argument. The pipeline goes something like this; Dude has a problem in the dating scene. He feels isolated and financially insecure in the modern dating scene. Red pill: Yeah bro I feel you (acknowledging his issue makes him lean towards you), the problem is these women that are naturally gold diggers (generalizing women and taking some truth to twist, also giving him an antagonist). B…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 09:48 AM
1

The unfortunate circumstances of living next to a university lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 10:47 AM
2

Unfortunately at the time it was in a university setting so they tend to spread and hinder future prospects.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:47 AM
3

Yeah the content isn’t really that appealing. But I think for me it’s my big ass ego, added to the fact that I’m big in enthusiastic consent, which I find lacking in the concept of porn. But in relationships I can’t even find other women attractive so it’s more awkward rather than hot. My friends that if I’m in a relationship and I happen to see 5 attractive nude women, I’ll prolly say “damn yall ain’t cold” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 10:18 PM
2

Not to watch it. Especially as a dude. Nudes and our videos are A-okay, but others nah. Never really was into it like that and when I’m in a relationship I find myself unable to be sexually attracted to anyone else. It’s more common to find women like me than for them to find a guy like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 10:10 PM
1

Maybe. If it was 1 or 2 times I’d have chalked it up to business casualties, but it was more like 60-70%.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:53 PM
3

Not do porn but watch. Apparently it’s relatively rare from the reactions of my partners and friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:40 PM
2

I mean I hadn’t slept with those dates. The other situationships were night activities. Hell I hadn’t even seen most of them in daylight.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:23 PM
5

The only way to win is by not playing the game. I hopped out that scene but still had a fuckboy reputation for a while
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:22 PM
3

My bad for not clearing that up. It was 3 different dates with 3 different people and nothing came out of those dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:21 PM
5

Nope. In those 3 years I’ve been on 3 dates. Hell there was one with a whole ass boyfriend (that I didn’t know at the time) who said I had hidden intentions. Never blocked someone that fast on my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:19 PM
8

Dawg a woman said that I wanted something more because I didn’t kick her out after sex. First that’s disrespectful and second it was 3 AM in a rainstorm.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:16 PM
6

I thought so too, but after limiting it to one night stands, the criticisms came with that he used me for sex. This is even after the fact I gave them a disclaimer that this is a one time thing, no I won’t catch feelings. Since then I realized I’m picking which bucket to remove water from a sinking ship, without fixing the leak. I realized that women lie all the time (had a little “women are wonderful” era). Most women cannot handle no strings attached intimacy. Most women don’t get good sex, es…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:14 PM
23

Unfortunately it’s not always the case. I’ve been fully transparent and honest in those “situationships” and still had the fallout of being labeled as a player. They would always agree initially but catch feelings (which is normal). However instead of accepting it they would label it as me playing with their emotions to fuck. I tried limiting myself; only see them at night to hookup, remind them, be more honest, be less passionate etc. but that still gave me the same results. So I just quit that…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:01 PM
9

Imma just describe my girl. Yeah she’s super attractive and has a bubbly personality. Her ability to find happiness is almost mythical to my cynical ass. She’s nurturing, and has healing presence. One main thing is that she gives me peace. Honestly I think it’s the biggest thing. I could be having the worst day and when I come home she’s excitedly showing me a pic she took with a ladybug. All my problems seem to wash away. She’s not a combative person so we tend to have discussions rather than f…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 08:51 PM
0

I think your confusion is thinking that being a provider means you can’t be genuinely desired. Thats not always the case. The reason why a lot of men don’t care as much for their partners career success is because we are taught that her money is hers. Also there’s certain traits career women tend to have that are less appealing to some men (combative, bossy..). There’s also the fact that successful women tend to only seek men on their financial level or above it. Women were the ones who coined t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 02:45 PM
6

I think it’s something we tend to forget. As society is improving on women’s empowerment we tend to forget ridding men of the standards we call harmful. I know a lot of progressive women who call themselves feminists who wouldn’t want to continue dating a guy who goes 50/50. The thing is it’s more subtle than discrimination. Often times they label it as a simple “ick”. Humans are generally selfish in their desires. Some women want the benefits of being equal to a man but not take the negatives o…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 02:34 PM
2

Ofc I think outside experience is beneficial, it’s not mutually exclusive. But there’s some limitations that can be passed by internet spaces. So I grew up in a conservative developing country, being transphobic was inherent and the norm in that system. When I was 13 I met someone online of the same age. We shared the same interest and we quickly became close, and then she came out as trans. It was crazy to me as we were taught it’s not about gender identity but rather a sexual perversion. Meeti…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 08:14 PM
1

I’d say it depends on a lot. My example was rather to highlight the unseen importance of attraction. He doesn’t need to be a general 10/10 but what she would consider a 10/10. Like I’m the self proclaimed king of medium ugly, while my girl is SUPER attractive. She finds my look 10/10 and reaffirms that by the way she acts. The average dude is not ugly so they’re women who would find them a 10. But realistically they are fewer so the average man tends to put in more effort to offset that attracti…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 08:09 PM
2

Pretty interesting concept. But does it only apply to male dominated groups or all online groups in general (female dominated groups, games, music, books, carpenter groups)? It’s quite a naive take as most people under the age of like 40 tend to have a huge presence online. As an older Gen Z the internet is not this random boogie man our parents thought it was. Does it apply to all of them too? The internet is a huge place. There’s a lot of good and a lot of bad things, just like the real world.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 05:52 PM
1

Great point. Let’s look at your comment. You spoke of it as an interest, something rather meh okay. We can try quantify it as a 6/10 in desirability. He did something that brought down your attraction (not paying), so let’s take a way some points (2 point deduction) and now it’s 4/10 (bad). Now let’s take a man that’s you have that great desire for a quantify it at a 10/10. If he did the same and we have the same deduction, he sits at 8/10. Still a great pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 04:54 PM
3

Have you actually been in those subs? Ofc there are some red pill guys in there but most aren’t. Thats like me saying women subs are all man haters. Heck there’s more circlejerking in female based subs than the male ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 03:35 PM
3

Have you looked at r/askmen or r/askmenadvice or those don’t count because they don’t fit your bias?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 02:58 PM
–

I mean you’re enforcing a harmful narrative that male subreddits are incel subreddits. I was mostly talking on r/askmenadvice and such. You get a plethora of diverse experiences from old to young, political ideologies and from Sweden to Vietnam. The harmful ideology that places that men congregate are incels, limits perspectives and enforces her confirmation bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 02:33 PM
1

I mean not necessarily true, I’ve been approached and asked out by women before. Some of my female friends have done it too. I was speaking on even if she finds him attractive there’s other issues that might make her not approach. The ones I listed
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 01:20 PM
1

But that proves my previous point. There are more factors in why women approaching isn’t as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 01:14 PM
3

Make subreddits are a great way to understand men’s experiences as it’s away to get information from a huge group of diverse men (location, ideology, age etc.) Unfortunately you know that it won’t feed your confirmation bias so it’s easier for you to discredit them. You are well within your rights to plug in your ears and just have a bubble that agrees with you. It’s just a little sad as it would’ve been a great way to learn and maybe empathize with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 01:12 PM
4

But that my point, you need a base level of attraction. Not saying there’s no other things that can trigger that attraction. It’s true for both genders but it’s mostly women who say physical attraction doesn’t matter. As the self appointed king of medium ugly I can tell you first hand that it does matter. It’s not the end all be all but you need to recognize that it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 12:03 PM
2

Man you gotta love the internet… You got incels saying that women will never be attracted to you unless you look 10/10 and be a billionaire and you got some women saying straight women are not physically attracted to men. I’m ngl this level of delusion should be classified as a super power. I’m kind of jealous to be honest
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 11:55 AM
2

Try posting it to a male subreddit and see if your experience still stands. I have countless of personal stories from myself and men I have spoken to.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 11:48 AM
1

Idk if you are trolling or are massively ignorant about women. Heck there’s subs in this very website that women post men they find super physically attractive. Have you actually talked to women before lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 11:45 AM
3

Ofc I agree that other factors are important rather than just physical attractiveness. Ofc there’s some women who don’t care as much. However I think you’re downplaying its effects. If a dude is a 10/10 in physical attractiveness and a 2/10 in his personality, compared to a dude who’s a 2/10 in physical attractiveness with a 10/10 personality, who would have it easier in dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 11:42 AM
0

You think women don’t feel attraction to men initially?? That’s either a weird way of covering your point or you are blind to reality. Plenty of women have initial attraction to men even before talking to them. Are you insinuating most women are demisexual??
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 10:49 AM
0

Unfortunately your hatred of men has made you a little blind to reality. Society (men and women) are motivated primarily through a reward system. “If you work hard, you’ll be rich”, “if you study hard, you’ll get a good job”, “if you are nice, people will like you” etc. The movies we watch (nice guy gets the girl at the end and is loved by everyone) to your mothers advice of being nice to women makes them like you. As we grow older we tend to see reality is more nuanced. You can work hard and st…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 10:46 AM
6

It could be a reason albeit a small one. There’s plenty others Social standards: Approaching is seen as a man’s job so women who approach are horrid wenches. Supple and demand: Women have always been approached so they never felt the need to approach A woman’s approach a lot of the times is that she looked at you twice lol Men tend to do better at rejection than women in general. They fear it less and it doesn’t hurt their ego as much (in general)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 10:32 AM
11

Yeah but that comes with the women not actually having genuine desire for the dude.If she actually wanted you that bad you think she’ll cut it off because you she paid half on a dinner date. Because a lot of dudes have never been genuinely desired they tend to think that it’s a mythical thing. Also interesting enough it’s a supply and demand issue. That’s why you tend to see older women and less desired women tend to be more proactive in courting men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 09:26 AM
6

Unfortunately it’s a reality for a lot of men. The extent of it depends largely on the area. Miami and Atlanta dating scenes are wild nowadays. Try expounding your view and talk to a lot of men. That really helped me to understand women better too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 09:13 AM
2

First off medium ugly has been the wave for a while lol. People just don’t understand what medium ugly is. I think it’s just that when women (and men) seem to not care about the person morality if they are attractive. Women tend to say personality matters more but in real life the worst men you know tend to have a partner or do well with women in general. Female attraction and relationships are a complicated topic that requires nuance and reality based understanding. Young men are socialized to …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 09:06 AM
1

There plenty of ways 1) I always start with hygiene and fitness. Not just taking showers but finding a haircut that suits you. You don’t necessarily need abs but working out helps with confidence (a huge attractor of women). 2) financial status: this is not that important, depending on age. You don’t have to be Mr money bags but at least have your house in somewhat order. 3) Charisma and personality: This is the best one to improve as it’s generally easier and has great results. Learn how to imp…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 06:44 AM
2

I’m absolutely fascinated by your delusional take. Do you not go outside? For you to result in boomer “I hate my wife” humour as a basis of your view of life is absolutely hilarious. In your example you down play men a lot. You’re saying there’s no attractive dude, WITH A JOB, good with kids and romantic? That’s a you problem buddy. And you don’t think men require concepts like attraction, love, loyalty, history, compatibility etc. from a partner? Just sex and beer? Please I hope you’re 14 or so…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:25 AM
–

Yeah I appreciate the nuanced take. A lot of women desire men opening up, but aren’t actually able to handle it. We have to consider that this is centuries of social customs and it’s going to be rough in the transition. My partner is relatively more towards the feminine side. So she tends to be attracted more towards masculine or what we perceive as masculine characteristics. She feels more and expresses more so she appreciates my emotional stability. I personally don’t see the need of breaking …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 09:30 AM
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I think you should also consider your bias. Women tend to cover for themselves so it creates a subconscious bias. This tends to cause the disconnect between men and women, like this for example. As someone who has a lot of exposure to women platonically and romantically, it been a big eye opener. There’s a trend of them seeing other women as victims or benevolent and men as the standard villain. This makes them not only excuse female wrongs but also blinds them to issues men face. One thing my f…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 07:31 AM
–

It’s pretty interesting how something raw and vulnerable about opening up is limited by what she deems acceptable. I think she doesn’t understand the leeway we give women by showing “weakness” even though it’s not the appropriate way. They want men to open up and be vulnerable but in a selfish way. Not necessarily for the benefit of the man but rather the benefit she wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 07:19 AM
10

I’m a big advocate for men improving themselves. This leads to them having more options and thus can have them having standards. Also getting in a deeper reflective state will not only help in relationships but other facets of life. The issue is we have a growing number of anti social men who’ve been raised with an entitlement that they are special. Instead of improving themselves they cry about this mythical “Chad”, it’s pathetic (and mostly inaccurate).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 04:26 AM
5

Confirmation bias, manipulated algorithms and lack of accountability. Men who complain about gold diggers blow it out of proportion and also lack accountability. Same with women who think men are assholes cause she picked wrong and got fucked over. It’s harder to have self reflection and accountability but it’s easier to create an imaginary boogie man so you don’t have to actually do anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 04:05 AM
9

That’s why it’s important to work on yourself so you can have options. This picking the optimal person becomes easier and doable. The more options you have the more you can raise those standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 06:07 PM
3

Same like I can’t be attracted to someone who isn’t attracted to me. It feels like a weird concept
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 05:18 PM
–

I’d agree even though it’s a bit hypocritical of me, in and had had relationships. I have high standards to consider someone my partner. So I worked on myself and in the mean time I got accustomed to being by myself. I did not just sit there in the basement doing nothing and still feeling entitled to be loved. My GF is legitimately one of the greatest people so that’s pushed me to better myself to give her what she deserves. She did not push me to improve directly but by just being herself I wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 02:52 PM
8

Men need to improve so as to have options and thus have standards in a relationship. Women need to improve so they can attract the dude they want and not just any dude. Also by improving their situation they’ll figure themselves out and pick better options. Vulnerable and dumb women are prime targets for abusers. Your saltiness of women clouds your ability to think rationally. I did not say they have the same issues to overcome but improving themselves help in both their issues. Also the whole c…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 02:21 PM
11

I mean there’s opportunistic people on both genders. There’s men who’d sweet talk and manipulate women to be with them and have their kids and then go throw it away for a dennys waitress who smiles at them. Both men and women should improve themselves so that they have a better selection of potential partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 01:31 PM
–

100% One of the benefits of being observant and having a lot of female friends/family members is to see how they truly act, with the lenses of a man. They act completely differently to a man they are super attracted to. 1) Effort: This is used by women to supplement their lack of attraction. If you end up putting in a lot of effort or more importantly more effort than her past men, I got news for you buddy. 2) Nagging and fighting: women are generally less combative to men they have genuine desi…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:52 AM
6

One thing I do is ask myself how would she be with her dream man. If it’s not the same with me then I have my answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:38 AM
13

You are underestimating my ability of self reflection lol. Let’s use your grizzly example. It’s more like seeing a dude walk towards a mother and her cub. I’d say I’d walk slowly away while praying. I do this with my friends. Whenever they tell me an issue and say “you don’t understand because you aren’t in my shoes”, I tell them what would you say if I came and told you this. Hindsight is pretty important.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:30 AM
2

Yup, there’s plenty of things that can go wrong; 1) One of you develops feelings and keeps this friendship so as to not lose them. 2) jealousy from future partners 3) Dynamics end up changing and if the friendship doesn’t evolve with it, it goes bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:22 AM
33

Yup a lot of dudes don’t realize what genuine desire is or how important it is. They lack options so end up being with girls who say yes to their proposals. A lot of times I’ve seen men complain about something in their relationship bogs down to “shes just not that into you”.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:20 AM
10

What you’ve described is a friendship that is not okay. Once you’ve passed the platonic aspect that friendship is highly likely doomed. I think you’re misunderstanding the loneliness epidemic and the nature of a lot of men. Sex is not only a physical thing but rather a huge aspect of emotional connection (otherwise most men would just seek sex workers). It makes you feel loved, desired, worthy and also helps understand your partner more intimately. This is generally for most men. The loneliness …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:09 AM
84

Go to the dead bedroom subs and it’s super depressing. The way sexless relationships erode everything. Till your left with a sea of resentment and at times out right hatred of your partner. Couldn’t be me tho
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 09:28 AM
18

Nope. Sex is super important to me both physically and emotionally. I can’t bond with someone deeply without sex. It’s like saying will you be okay with a partner you can never talk to or communicate with. Don’t trip though there’s plenty of lonely men that will subjugate themselves to that sadness due to lack of choice. Also a number (although small) of asexual men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 09:21 AM
9

The previous commenter reminds me of a jaded younger version of myself. To focused on being right rather than finding my happiness. There’s a large number of women who are what he said, but also a large number of women who aren’t. I just identified certain characteristics they have so as to avoid them. Also certain characteristics that would make the attracted to me were reflected. I stopped giving those types of women mental real estate and then I was left with women I considered good people. R…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 08:13 AM
8

I think the bitterness comes with her showing desirability to those men while being meh with her partner. That’s why I think men should go for women who show them that desirability. There’s a lot of men being settled for and thinking whelp that’s how it goes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 08:02 PM
1

That’s why it’s important to have a partner who has genuine desire for you. You get the benefits of wild sex while also keeping a long term relationship. They are not mutually exclusive
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 08:00 PM
1

Yeah this feels like those stupid would you rather questions. Like would you rather be shot or stabbed lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 07:58 PM
–

I think people need to know the full reasoning of women’s attraction to status; 1) Women tend to have more options than men so this leads to them being pickier about certain aspects. 2) status tends to have other attractive qualities (dominance, charisma, financial aspects and leadership). These give a man a boost in desirability. 3) Woman want why other women want. Social proofing is evident as someone who’s been “picked” can attest to. 4) women are boosted by a partner with high status, while …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 07:57 PM
1

I mean there’s an issue because of the current culture and shyness. There’s a fine line between her being shy and harassment to a lot of dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 02:07 PM
3

Ignoring the people who argue for the sake of argument. There’s a lot of men who don’t understand subtext. Not texting you first so the dude engages more is what normally is considered “playing hard to get”. Not blocking the dude lol. They also don’t understand that women play hard to get no because the want you but rather them wanting you to want them. When a woman actually wants YOU then those games don’t necessarily tend to happen (above high school age).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 12:57 PM
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Yeah but I think we need to recognize the damage society does. Heck even progressives feel free to shame men for having a smaller size. “Small dick energy” and saying “oh I bet he has a small dick”. Using a common insecurity of men to bash bad men ends up also harming non bad men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 06:38 AM
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I think you misunderstood my point. The manosphere is general is a negative thing. The problem is young men get pushed towards it as society/ blue pill deny their problems or use it to blame them. The reason these young men are attracted to the manosphere is at first the manosphere validates that they have issues. Unfortunately they twist those valid issues to further their agenda and also grift money out of those dudes. The blue pill is too focused on countering the red pill they end up dismiss…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 10:39 AM
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The manosphere generally doesn’t solve the issues. They seek to manipulate the situation so they can benefit from it. The rough equivalent would be a woman’s movement bent of trying to manipulate the patriachy for its benefit. Unfortunately the movement for a healthy manosphere isn’t profitable. These grifters need rage to make money off these dudes. Even more unfortunately a lot of men get indoctrinated as the blue pill dismisses their issues saying “it doesn’t exist or if it does it’s your fau…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 10:08 AM
4

Firstly I’m not speaking on MY personal experience Secondly it’s harmful to the gay community to perpetuate that sexuality is a choice for a failed gotcha moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 04:37 PM
1

It’s because she’s assuming that they have the same experiences. She doesn’t want to understand that there’s a lot of men who don’t have the priveledge of choice. It’s like telling a poor person why don’t you just buy a car.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 10:36 AM
7

1) You are assuming that the sex women have is bad (no good or meh sex). 2) a lot of men would be okay with bad sex rather than no sex 3) if they are elevated to a position of having more options to have sex THEN they would seek better sex. Like if I started making more money my “needs” are also elevated. But if I was broke that leftover McDonald’s (bad sex) was exciting.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 10:34 AM
4

Not really. I understand that it is possible but a lot of men don’t have the same situation as me, in terms of having options. Hell there was a time I was hanging out with some dudes and I rejected a booty call. It was like reality breaking for them. Like how can a man turn down sex from a woman. It’s like picking E in an A-D multiple choice question lol. The funny part is that it was a group of average to above average looking dudes. Not really the incel phenotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 10:23 AM
10

Me personally, HELL NO! But I understand that I have a priveledge that allows me to be pretty picky. I’ve met some dudes who would tho Like I’m pretty good financially at this point. I would not eat McDonald’s as I have the ability to get things healthier and better tasting. But when I was younger I’d be super hyped to go back home to my 2 day old McDonalds leftovers.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 09:27 AM
5

It’s like saying a shitbox car is better than not having a car. When you have access to sex you level up in requirements, it’s human nature. The men who don’t have access to it will probably take bad sex and not even register its bad sex. Like I agree with the sentiment but it’s because I know the priveledge of having easy access to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 09:18 AM
0

It’s not to contradict but to show how “iffy” a study is if it leaves out all those uncontrolled variables. The 80-20 rule is countered by going outside lol. If it was true then most men would be a lone and homeboy would walk around with 34 wives lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 05:10 AM
2

Yeah but I think it’s a little more complicated than that. Emotional vulnerability is closely guarded for men. The world is much more unforgiving of our “weakness”. Be it friends, work, family etc. That’s why it’s normally preserved for our partner. Then there’s the issue of emotional closeness. Men’s partners have both physical and emotional closeness for a deep relationship. If it’s spread around more it’s becomes harder for that connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 11:04 AM
2

I mean heck even men play a large role in women’s self image (see “ugly friend”). There is a catch 22 on men having more outside emotional connection. They tend to be disconnected from their partner in that regard. Emotional connection is more concentrated in men so as to allow them to even deeper connection with their partner. It’s a complicated situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 09:37 AM
1

Actually no not really. It’s the general experience for a lot of men though. For decades husband title has been given a bad rep, “dead bedroom” “settling” and the likes. Also it’s when women use “husband material”. It’s always hey you’re not someone I’d fuck based of pure desire and doesn’t need to put in effort. It’s never actually used in the context of “I deeply desire you AND you have other qualities that make you irresistible”. It’s kind of the term “all lives matter”. Yes at base value it’…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 04:25 AM
9

Yeah the media plays a huge role in social issues (racism, sexism, colorism, xenophobia etc..)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 03:53 PM
4

Because women will tolerate it. A lot of men run on the bare minimum grade to pass. If women accept a man baby, then she gon get a man baby…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 03:24 PM
3

I don’t think you understand my point. Yes men should do their chores (depending on the household agreement). But you telling me the thing stopping from you jumping on the dude you so desire is because there’s dishes lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 03:22 PM
1

Ofc not all women lol 1) Hero vs villain: A lot of women have this dynamic that there is a good guy and a bad guy. It is easier to be less of a bad guy than to actual improve yourself. These men give them a villain so that they can feel like the good person. Which ties into my next point 2) Victimhood: They get a dopamine rush from being pitied and feeling like the victim. “Damsel in distress” is a common trope with women. Explains those women who you see always in bad relationships and situatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 03:19 PM
2

I can do a whole Ted talk on “why women like bad boys” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 02:33 PM
8

I mean I think every adult should be taking chores. But hey there’s people doing reward charts for their husband, mad dystopian. What I was talking about is the transactional type, “hey I mowed the lawn can I please get a blowjob 🥺👉🏾👈🏾” that’s fucking weird to me
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 01:59 PM
19

1) Media: The male lead tends to have either one or multiple women wanting him. The good guy ends up getting the girl while the bad guy ends up alone. 2) Idols: people young men look up to such as athletes, actors and musicians have a flock of women (rockstar lifestyle). 3) Insults: the common insult to a man was calling him a loser, then virgin, and now incel. This became the all encompassing retort when you couldn’t argue with a person. Showing hey I don’t take you serious as you don’t get wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 01:55 PM
22

I agree but you don’t understand the emotional and social aspect men have of sex. It’s away to feel wanted, seen and a way deeply connect with someone. A lot of women have external fulfillment that’s not sex, men are different. Also for the social aspect. Men who are seen as desired by women are treated in a whole different league. We are socialized from young to believe how worthy we are translates to how many women will flock to us. Heck even progressives tend to use not getting sex as an insu…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 01:12 PM
3

Yeah this is almost fanfic levels of delusion lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 01:05 PM
3

I think the main disconnect is attraction and effort. Hookup material denotes that’s there’s attraction but he doesn’t need to have effort to be with you. While husband material denotes hoops the man had to jump to be with you. For a long time it’s been ingrained that attraction isn’t as much of an importance when picking a husband (although it’s changing). They would value what the things the man does for them and not really for who he is. Adding to the fact that husband material denotes hey I …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 12:57 PM
13

I think he’s point is that of creating a non genuine desire. You should do chores because you have an obligation. But it’s common brownie points for some women to “reward”. Sex shouldn’t be transactional as then it becomes something not genuine.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 12:49 PM
6

I think the data needs heavy contextualization. There’s plenty of factor not considered; 1) the gap in options: women tend to have way options so in turn are more picky. 2) Attraction: the men who are attractive and charismatic don’t tend to use dating apps as they already are successful IRL. 3) Population: there’s way more men on the apps than women so data tends to be skewed. 4) Pickiness: there’s way women who have “less standards” won’t be on the apps than women as they probably find what th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 02:46 PM
2

I think most people marry in their social classes but due to proximity. If I am an artist I’ll highly likely end up with someone in that space as that’s where most of my time is spent. If there is an inter social status relationship it will highly likely be where the dude is in a higher bracket. Not that it’s more common. Like a CEO dude marrying a librarian lady won’t hold as much social stigma as vice versa. Women were the one who coined and mostly use “dating down”.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 02:32 PM
23

It’s still crazy to me that a celebration of someone getting married (bachelor and bachelorette party) is “hey let’s get drunk and watch/lap dance/ sexual acts with other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 06:35 PM
–

Adding to the fact of commercialization. Beauty Companies rely on this dynamic so they tend to have more aggressive methods while advertising for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 08:16 AM
6

I fully agree with you. But I do acknowledge my priveledge as I almost always have options. However unlike most people I am okay with being alone if I cannot find someone to my standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 08:15 AM
1

I’d agree. But you have to acknowledge the pretty priveledge effect. Society is way more forgiving of personality flaws so long as the person is attractive. It’s like the “flirting vs sexual harassment” meme. Like if you are a 7 on attractive scale and a 2 on personality scale you’ll have less problems getting a partner than if you are a 2 on attractive scale and a 7 on personality scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 08:13 AM
1

I agree. However the issue of nuance is lost in people. This enables red pill and incels to plant their feet more in their bias. By acknowledging the occasional ugliness of society we can better help these men. However the blue pill ends up ignoring such issues thus pushing more men into those spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 11:42 AM
2

“A small amount of women get with misogynistic dudes” I mean anyone who lives in the real world knows that’s not true. A dude being misogynistic does not have a significant impact on getting women. Blue pill focus on countering red pill, unfortunately they try and even counter the true parts of red pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 11:14 AM
1

Yeah that’s why I said that it’s more of the anti thesis of the red pill. Although they do have some delusional tendencies “there is no war in Ba Sing Se”.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 10:34 AM
3

It’s a matrix reference. Red pill: accepting reality and breaking away from the delusions of the “matrix”. Great concept but more often than not the “reality” they accept is just a different illusion. Also great platform for grifting. Blue pill: accepting the delusions of the matrix ( soft delusion is better than the harsh truth of reality). They see life more ideologically than reality. “If you are a good dude you’ll get hella women”. Mostly used as an antithesis of the red pill. Black pill: si…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 09:27 AM
3

Nah I disagree. Most incels are relatively tame irl than online. Heck they even did an “experiment” with a pic of an attractive dude whose tinder bio was crazy shit (abuse) and they still got a lot of matches. Attractive people are given much more leeway in bad personality. I think your issue is a false justice. Bad things happen to bad people and vice versa. In reality there is no karma.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 12:48 PM
2

I mean my only critic would be the bad wig. It indicates there’s “good misogny” and “bad misogny”.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 12:26 PM
6

I agree but my point of comparing misogyny and being bald was in the context of attracting women. If you have other better qualities (attractiveness, charisma, status) the misogyny matters less. Will their be women who’d reject you just because your misogynistic? Yes. Are there women who’d reject you for not having hair? Also yes. I am not saying being a misogynist is good. It’s just when women tell incels the only or major issue in their rejection is misogyny, it’s not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 12:22 PM
5

I agree but I think you either missed my point or are purposely trying to avoid it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 12:12 PM
3

I’d say misogyny is like hair. It’s relatively rare for a woman to reject you just cause you bald, but have other great qualities. Yes, almost everyone looks better with a full head of hair but it’s not that big of a factor in attraction. Most women will prefer you not to be a misogynist but if you have other better qualities it doesn’t really affect your attractiveness. Now if you ugly and bald then you would be facing more rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 12:08 PM
3

It was for you to understand the concept that you are so self absorbed in your priveledge that you won’t be able to empathize with people who aren’t. But it’s not about you understanding, you simply don’t want to. Because it goes against your agenda and might need a lil introspection and self reflection. So it pointless to keep engaging.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 01:45 PM
2

My point was that even though I don’t steal I find it callous to put my opinion of morality to people who aren’t as privileged as I am. Not all poor people steal but there is an obvious correlation, this can range from survival to just cause they want. I don’t like placing my morals on them because I didn’t take into account the priveledge.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 01:36 PM
6

Again I think that this is coming from a point of priveledge. It has more nuance than you let on. Just because it doesn’t fall under YOUR moral code doesn’t mean that it is generally immoral. I understand the priveledge I have for not being poor, so I see the whole “well poor people are just thieves” with more nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 01:28 PM
6

I mean you won’t because sex is something super easy to come by if you want it. It’s like growing up rich, you won’t necessarily see fine dining as something that special as the poorer people who’d need to save up for a year. I’d not adjust my ethics cause I have a big ego lol (plus I’ve always had option)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 10:07 AM
2

I’d agree with you, especially on the manipulation unregulated capitalism has done to feminism. However the modern conservative movement is the same movement that willing to remove all these social safety nets that will allow more traditional relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 01:59 PM
-1

You do have to consider as the world modernizes trad roles are not just difficult to maintain but in some place almost impossible. The economy nowadays cannot sustain single person income. Also as we try and correct the toxicity and downsides of “traditional” dynamics. This can explain the reasoning as to why some people take concepts they like in both traditional and modern dynamics. Both systems have their pros and cons and it’s up to the person to pick what works out for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 12:43 PM
4

I think that goes for both “feminists” and “traditional people”. As people we tend to lean on systems that we feel benefit us. The new age “traditional men” also pick and choose. They want a trad woman but they complain about being the main provider. Calling these women gold diggers. People want power but don’t want the responsibility that comes with that power. Also it’s because feminism and traditionalism is different per person. What you see as a feminist or trad might be different from the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 11:33 AM
2

I don’t think preferences are thing you can be hypocritical about. Like if I prefer girls who are bubbly and more social does that mean that I have to be the same. Or if she prefers guys taller and bigger does that mean she needs to also be tall and big. Relationships are finding those people who fit your preferences. Jotting it down to hypocrisy is unecessary
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 11:11 AM
1

You are still trying to act like the victim. You don’t want to be the bad guy so u blame “addiction” and stupid things like “I was scared 🥺👉🏾👈🏾”. Your relationship won’t heal and when he’s tired of you throwing your cheap affection at him, you’ll be relegated to girl I sleep with.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 08:19 AM
1

I can get all this with my girl. Plus the added bonus of something more important (loyalty). You are just trying to overcompensate your low quality. You cheated, he’s a weak man that took you back. You feel like shit so you try and overcompensate correct the action in a way to mitigate your guilt. Also female attention only validates men who don’t have a high level of self respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 08:13 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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