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MerlinsIdiotBrother Archive

View 1 post and 161 comments by MerlinsIdiotBrother on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

MerlinsIdiotBrother/r/askMRP28/08/25 07:57 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

he's right
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/26 05:18 PM
1

Thanks and will do.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/26 05:18 PM
1

Messy indeed. I turned a corner from all this. I read it a while back. I started revising a lot of material.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/26 05:16 PM
1

You're probably right across the board. I'm trying too hard to not let go of how things were in the past and get my desired outcome. I need to let go. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/26 05:42 PM
1

One time ~2 years ago. Baby was ~6 mo old. She went out and came home at 530am for the third time in 2 weeks, slipped and fell coming in the door which woke me up, and I found her black-out drunk. I got angry and threatened the relationship. I didn't know what else to do and couldn't understand her choices at the time. Big fight. Went to bed. I don't recall the incident being spoken of again.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/26 05:34 PM
5

She's contacting an attorney and finding a place to live. I gave her the explainer letter from my attorney. We fill out a parenting plan, select a schedule, and ask a judge to approve it. Pretty cut and dry in my state.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/26 03:18 PM
1

She went. I got the ring back. I'll edit the post for clarity. Concretely, I found and was shown a bunch of poor and unhelpful covert contracts and beta behaviors I was lying to myself that I wasn't doing for years.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/26 09:46 PM
0

OYS #43, 2026-04-21 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 218.1 lbs (-1.1), 17.5% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, 1 kid Mental /Thoughts: The night before the trip we reached a compromise, I slept on it, changed my mind before she left, and she went to Vegas anyways. As she left, I said "I dont think we should get married", she responded "I don't think we should either" and walked away. I took the ring back when she returned from Vegas. I made a handful of covert contracts, had a scarcity mindset, no outco…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/26 07:55 PM
2

I read it a long time ago and forgot about it. I wish I had read it when two weeks ago but that doesn't matter now. Rereading it makes me cringe because I did all the opposite of what the post describes. I also read ultimatum and felt the same way. I made a lot of mistakes this week and learned many acute lessons. Ls noted. Dusting myself off and moving on.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/26 11:24 PM
1

You're right. I've been saying and doing things as indirect threats to coerce an outcome and maintain control while claiming I wasn't. I LARP'd being clear and direct without an implied outcome and letting go. I am stuck in a mental rut. I'm going to have my favorite meal and visit a few stores I like for a while. Thanks for the notes.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/26 08:25 PM
2

How about some outcome independence? I will be fine. I have fun plans lined up either way. She knows the boundary... How effective have words been so far? I agree. Words are ineffective and have been for some time. The boundary is going to be enforced. That's my choice for this matter. If she goes, she is telling you she will always challenge your boundaries. Having that information and being clear-headed about it now is valuable. Agreed. It's information for how I'll continue with directing my …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/26 04:54 AM
1

OYS #42, 2026-04-13 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 219.2 lbs (-2.8), 17.5% BF (+1.0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged, 1 kid Health: DEXA results were a big swing positively after December’s negative results: -5 lbs fat, down 2.5% BF, +6.9 lbs muscle. The scan had me at 23.3% BF and navy has me at 17.5%. My waist measurement hasn’t changed much in the last few months but I do feel a difference in strength. I’ve added a 3% incline to my steps program which has increased calories burned. Sex: I haven’…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/26 12:59 AM
2

Thanks Blag. I see and understand the leaps, value calcs, and nuance. I agree that ego is an incumbrance one has to understand and navigate. I think of your description of leaps to be similar to the 24-hour rule for emails. Receive bad news, draft reactive/emotional/rough response, save draft, wait 24 hours, review recceived email, review draft response, refine to remove reactive/emotional statements, hit send. The bigger or worse the news, the more times you reassess what was sent to you, where…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/26 01:17 AM
1

I agree. I tried to find the J10H post about incrementally increasing boundary enforcement and authority which discussed starting with small things and moving to bigger or more important things until you find the limit (she ignores you, etc.). Over time, as you enforce smaller boundaries, your skills improve and you're able to enforce increasingly larger boundaries. You use WISNIFG/NMMNG to build the skills to do this. Eventually, you come across something big (like I did) where you have to appl…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/26 12:16 AM
1

Yes, over the last two months I've been expanding my boundary enforcement starting with small things ("stop putting away shit I use everyday") and have expanded my scope each week to medum things ("we don't curse, smoke, etc. in front of [daughter]"). She fought me over the small and medium things but came around after a few days or a week. The Vegas trip is the first "big" thing that's happened where she threw out the "I'm going to vegas or leaving you" ultimatum.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/26 06:45 PM
1

Latter. She already chose Vegas. I see no benefit to engaging in her trolley problem framing. Picking the third choice is: killing the trolley problem architect :: go off and be single Overall this behavior has been going on in one form or another for almost two years and I didn't know how to handle it. Things have gotten better, but it may not be enough. I have come a long way in fixing myself. Fixing the relationship is not my job. I can lead but may choose not to follow. It's taken a long tim…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/26 05:08 AM
1

Yeah I think you're probably right.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/26 11:27 PM
1

I think this event has broken any delusion I may have had left. If she chooses to go, I choose to reorder my value hierarchy and remove commitment. There's way too many options where I live to risk my biscuit on her.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/26 11:23 PM
1

But the fact that she is pushing your boundaries means that her friends are working against you. So you don't have a choice but to keep at it. I did receive a screen-filler sized text from the conference girlfriend about two hours after the request. The three of them are in a group chat together. I agree with your assessment. Now her mom and her boyfriend will also be there for a concert, which was used to as a "see, that should make you more comfortable" manipulation and not relevant to the bou…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/26 11:17 PM
1

The questions are from Rian's book (Praxeology, Vol 1: Frame). It's a good book and covers the puzzle pieces of frame over 10+ years. Many of those questions are burried gems in old posts. I recommend reading it. My problem is frame so I need to put in the time and effort to work through it. The purpose of those questions is to help you determine how you would choose to act within your chosen frame - even if everyone in your life were gone, you could "get away with whatever you wanted," and no o…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/26 06:16 PM
0

OYS #41, 2025-04-07 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 222.0 lbs (+1.5), 16.5% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged, 1 kid Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 205x5, OHP: 145x5, BP: 205x5 Mental /Thoughts: Last week I continued using my written field report/OODA loop exercises and working through the questions in Rian’s book Frame. Writing continued to bring clarity. It was a productive week for me on that front. My wife was kind, pleasant, and feminine most of the week. I enjoyed her company. She init…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/26 05:06 PM
1

That's a good way to put it. I trust my frame to handle novel problems because I have a grasp of the tools available and can figure it out.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/26 08:12 PM
1

I don't understand. What about that process is problematic or weaponized neuroticism?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/26 08:07 PM
1

I can see how it read like I'm sitting around thinking instead of doing. I can reasonably guess the basics of how my day will go because of the players, parts, and gates involved. I also have a good idea of the fuckups, arguments, or denials of responsibility each "component" is liable to produce. Using my sheets, I select an assertive right and NMMNG rule, write about a problem most likely to happen (or a known one), write a little script, and then attack whatever it is. I put what I've learned…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/26 03:14 PM
1

OYS #39 & 40, 2025-03-31 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 221.6 lbs (+1.1), 16.5% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged, 1 kid Reading: Frame, sidebar, Magic 1-2-3 Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 205x5, OHP: 155x5 (+10), BP: 205x5 Health:I completed my workouts as scheduled and doubled my daily step count. I felt good about the progress after two difficult work weeks. I also scheduled another DEXA appointment for next week. Career: Work was a shit show the last two weeks - partly my fault, partly …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/26 04:04 PM
1

Yes
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/26 02:33 PM
2

a lot of your “wins” still depend on getting other people to submit I admit it felt nice to "win" interactions with people I've been "losing" with my whole life (or less). I try to keep in mind that developing or holding frame is not a revenge or power fantasy over others. It's rejection of submitting my reality to theirs with a small gap for doubt. Before being here I didn't have the tools to defend or exert my will. I know the "tests" I do are autistic in hindsight. I end up taking the test to…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/26 02:41 PM
2

OYS #38, 2025-03-17 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 220.5 lbs (-1.0), 16.5% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged, 1 kid Reading: sidebar, Magic 1-2-3 Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 205x5, OHP: 145x5, BP: 205x5 Thoughts: Last week I focused on observing my frame when interacting with others. I went into meetings primed to hold frame and be assertive in defending my work product, progress, and needs. I did the same interacting with vendors, etc. For whatever reason, I practiced negative inquiry t…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/26 09:38 PM
1

To be clear, tell her what you need, don't ask. Take the choice out of it. She may not do it, but if she making it a choice from the get go will make her resist it and it will just cause her more anxiety when you start doing it urself I'll frame the requests as tells instead of asks and see how it goes. It's not that I ask her to make breakfast and she says no. Most of the time she asks if I want breakfast, I say yes, and it's ready when I get out of the shower. If she worked the previous day, I…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/26 08:02 PM
1

Interesting way to go through life What's wrong with that mental model? TBH, you've been struggling here for a while. I walked through this in a differently reply. I've taken Blarg's notes from a few weeks ago to heart and don't discuss my successes. Doing so has made it easier to spot glaring problems. If I can spot a problem, I can break it down and start fixing it. Some problems are harder than others. Some progress here and there, but seems like there still are issues you haven't solved in m…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/26 07:43 PM
2

I tried to write this OYS as a stricter OODA loop, and not so much as "I don't know which tool goes where" Feedback so far is I didn't do great, so I'll iterate again next week. As far as the tools go, WISNIFG has been the 2nd most helpful next to NMMNG. I have the rules from both hanging in my office, read them, and keep them in mind. I don't always get it right but the learning loop is there and it's working. I know my OYSs read like I haven't gotten any of my life together since starting here…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/26 07:36 PM
1

OYS #37, 2025-03-10 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 221.5 lbs (+0.8), 16.5% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged, 1 kid Reading: Praxeology vol 4, sidebar, Magic 1-2-3 Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 205x5, OHP: 145x5, BP: 205x5 Thoughts: I continued operating under the mental model that my wife is dead. I caught myself seeing tasks leaving tasks to her like I normally would have. One notable task I avoided all last week was making myself breakfast after the gym or earlier when I wake up. I enjo…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/26 05:10 PM
1

Got it, will do.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/26 06:44 PM
1

I think you responded to the other guy thinking it was me. 220.7 -- this means you should drop 20 lbs Losing 10lbs is the plan, not 20. There's no marginal benefit to me being <12% BF. I made it to 212 lbs & 8% when I was 25. My current goal works for me. you're fucking around a lot thinking about how to fix this spend the time you would otherwise direct into something you are getting little marginal benefit from I spent 30 mins on grok solving a problem, updated my training program, and moved o…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/26 06:25 PM
1

Fair enough. I'll keep this in mind going forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 04:12 PM
1

STFU
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 02:55 PM
1

Maybe my writing betrays me above. I didn't frantically search for [insert tool] because "oh no she's got emotions again and I must do something." The emotional outbursts don't bother me. I STFU and let them flow around me. I think I'm at the point now where instead of being a STFU rock, I can try incorporating other behaviors to further build my frame. That doesn't mean there's other frame-congruent behavior necessary after STFU. Someone else here told me about the dead mouse perspective and I'…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/26 02:54 PM
0

So instead of listening to this woman who is going to be your wife you start running through a mental rolodex of “tools” I understand how flipping through the rolodex comes off as autistic. My goal is to grab a tool (or skills/behaviors/mental model) when I think the situation calls for it and try it out. Not to be a reactive therapist/repairman for my fiancé but to learn when and where to use it so I can become the man I want to be. But damn is this woman that annoying to you? No, not in the em…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/26 07:19 PM
0

I can see how your responses are better (no questions, not repetitive/annoying, direct, creates an opporutnity to soothe). I'll read up on shitty comfort tests and put together some tools to try next time. Thanks for the notes.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/26 04:39 PM
2

why is your bench press lagging so far behind? Shoulder injuries from football and ranching. Took a long time to work back up to where I'm at now. I've been using a neutral grip bar (kabuki kadillac) and my bar bench is up ~20 lbs since the start of the year. No pain or discomfort unlike a straight bar. Bench press provides that hunky look that deadlifts just don’t. Agreed. I used grok to create a new regiment in December based on current stats, injuries, and goals. Weight is up a couple pounds …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/26 04:20 PM
1

OYS #36, 202503-03 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 220.7 lbs (-0.4), 16.5% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged, 1 kid Reading: Praxeology vol 4, sidebar, Magic 1-2-3 Mission: My life is mine to live as I see fit. I put myself first and give my time, attention, and investment only to people in my life who do the same in return. I restrict or deny people from my life who don’t provide value or meet my needs. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 205x5, OHP: 145x5, BP: 205x5 Health: I’ve been consistent…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/26 02:03 PM
1

I understand the dice metaphor and dopamine loops for posting here or applying mental models on my own. I do get dopamine hits seeing her reactions and OYS comments. I have also learned rolling 6s here has been productive and dopamine hits at home are not. Not rolling the dice at all will be a good experiment for me. In the future, when you have successes in your new mental model, I don't want you to write them here. In fact, I challenge you not to write them here. I think I understand this cons…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/26 01:06 AM
1

Why aren't you losing weight? Drinking (event season in my city), diet, and fewer steps. Overall it seems you are on a path that is improving, even if you are being autistic about it. Thanks. Lots of work done, lots more to do. Who is defining success for you? I see the contradiction and haven't reviewed or updated my mission statement in some time. It's due for an overhaul.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 05:03 PM
1

OYS #35, 2025-02-24 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 221.1 lbs (+0.9), 16.5% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2 Reading: Current: Praxeology vol 4, sidebar, Magic 1-2-3 Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 205x5…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/26 05:17 AM
1

I've been letting your comment marinate for a few days (along with the others over time) and think I am beginning to understand the overall architecture underlying the mental models, behaviors, etc. espoused in MRP. Not as individual actions (STFU, etc.) but as a whole, holistic framework. Interesting, feels like another phase change. This comment alone helped me find half a dozen more covert contracts downstream from 1000ft rope, wife is dead, and acting shitty. I've been pretending they didn't…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/26 04:47 PM
1

Dread is one of the many books written by a mod here, u/RStonePT. I recommend all of them. Magic 1-2-3 is a parenting book recommended by u/Alpha_wolflord9 for my situation. I'm surprised it's not recommended more. There's a lot of overlap with the sidebar and the book given you're dealing with the oldest teenager in your house all the time.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/26 04:37 PM
1

...seems like concerning behavior. She certainly doesn't act like she wants to be. It's a new development and I am concerned. I'll keep tabs on it. You can control your actions, not just how well you hide your emotions. I will keep this in mind. Actions not words, right? What do your actions say? What do hers? I appreciate the note swapping on this topic from both of you. I'll keep testing and report back. Actions are revealed preferences. Stated preferences don't carry weight without congruent …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/26 04:32 PM
1

I am aware of the signs and behaviors. I have contingencies in place should cheating be discovered or pregnancy occur. There is still time dude. My exposure to spousal liability has been limited by design for a long, long time and my state enforces prenups. The family court and child support ship has already sailed. ...and you walk The way I see it, either I a) having a sparring partner up to the end, b) discover cheating and end it, or c) am satisfied with the congruency between myself, my self…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/26 10:59 PM
1

Whose narrative is this? It sounds like you’re trying to untangle yourself from the transactional nature you imagine she views sex as (something she does for you) and expects you to excuse her behavior you otherwise do not want to tolerate. This was related to a comment (relevant snippet below) from u/mrpwtf after fucking her when she got home from the all nigher and initiated. Having sex with her immediately after she violated whatever boundary is also not enforcing with action. This screams “I…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/26 04:12 PM
0

She came home near drunk from a friends house before our valentines dinner/date plans. Her friend decided to divorce her husband and "wanted to talk about it" for the second day in a row. (The two of them were together the night before for dinner before my buddies and I met them later at a bar). I got home from work and no one was home, house was still a mess, and I knew what state she was in when she walked in the door. After the kid walked away I said "I don't like when you come home near drun…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/26 03:10 PM
3

OYS #34, 2025-02-17 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 220.2 lbs (+0.6), 16.5% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2 Reading: Current: Dread x3, sidebar, Magic 1-2-3 Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 205x5, OHP: 1…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/26 10:20 PM
1

Don’t fall into the pitfall of blue pill pariah this can lead to the trap of just endlessly being a plow horse and while you’ve allowed the behavior in the past you don’t have to anymore if you don’t want. I don't want to allow it anymore and will tread carefully for traps. Determine what is you need to offer yourself grace or forgiveness for your past failings and move on. You can’t change the past, but you can be different. I will do this and push through to my ideal self. First hopefully it h…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/26 02:55 AM
2

What’s the point of all this sharing if you didn’t feel bad about leaving your hungover wife with the kid all day? You are right, my own words and actions betray me. I resent her for putting me in position to choose between me leaving all day to have fun with friends as planned and her coming home so fucked up that I had to seriously consider whether or not my child was safe in her care. I felt trapped and didn't know what to do or how I would feel if I left and something bad happened. I researc…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/26 12:41 AM
1

Is the core issue that is disruptive to your plans or that you are worried she’s getting railed when you’re not there? Disruptive. I've already stated cheating as an explicit boundary ending the relationship and have had lengthy conversations about others. If I learn of cheating, it's over. You should figure out exactly what is acceptable and not acceptable to you... But enforcing your boundaries may mean walking away. You quietly stewed instead. STFU is a good default, but I am doubtful you hav…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/26 09:31 PM
1

There’s something off about saying you know control is an illusion and then explicitly hanging the future of your relationship off a compliance test. Unannounced all nighters have happened over a dozen times in the last 18 months. Since starting here, she has done two all nighters asking me if it's ok, and I've said sure have fun, and one without asking. I don't want the unannounced shit in my life. It fucks up life and my plans. I tried a compliance test to see how it would go, it failed so I n…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/26 02:48 PM
0

OYS 32 & 33, cont'd Sex: I fucked my fiancé late last week the first time in years. We were both drunk and I decided to do whatever I wanted in spite of her usual protests (which she didn’t). I had a great time flopping her around and doing whatever for about 20 minutes. I stopped when I knew a nut wasn’t going to happen and she exclaimed “finally” and got under the covers. I went to bed. Last night I initiated again with the “do what I want to her body” mindset. She got off me twice to lay on h…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/26 04:46 AM
1

OYS #32 & 33, 2025-02-10 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 219.6 lbs (-0.5), 17% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2 Reading: Current: Dread x3, sidebar, MRP links Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 205x5 (+10),…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/26 04:45 AM
1

...running push and then pull here you are reinforcing this element so just make sure that is something you want to do. You're probably right, I'll keep that in mind. I edited out where it was the 6th time she said it and the dude she referenced was just as I described. We both had a laugh and it was disarming. She didn't make the comment again and I left it alone. Is this a want or need? Are you getting what you want or need? I slept on this that night and in the morning thought the better acti…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/26 04:42 AM
1

You're right, I did and repeated that above knowing it was arbitrary. I'm short on understanding how much time to allow for change before moving on. Blarg is right that the timing is arbitrary because she may or may not change her behavior sooner or later or never. At some point, I'll make a decision that my needs or being met or it's time to cut the tow rope. The wedding is a year away. I'll continue my efforts here until then - 18 months in (and beyond).
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/26 04:01 AM
2

"I love you" is not "I desire you" Yes, I agree. I learned that lesson many years ago with someone else. ... it's easy to slip into a mindset that MRP "works" and that if you just employ it "right" she'll eventually turn into a cock-gobbling slut. I am mindful of of this trap and stick to the original premise: I am here to fix myself and not her or the relationship. While this is harder knowing she was my cock-gobbling slut for years, things have changed and I accept responsibility for creating …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/26 02:30 PM
1

OYS #31, cont'd (pt2) I left the house and did my chore. A half hour into she went to a friend’s house, had a drink, and by the time I got there to pick her up and go to dinner with family she was buzzed but kinder. She held my hand on the longish drive and touched my inner thigh a few times while driving. When we got to the restaurant and parked, she turned to me and said “I love you,” I returned the statement and had a brief passionate kiss. Later that night after the baby went down, she initi…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/26 01:20 AM
1

OYS #31, 2025-01-27 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 220.6 lbs (-0.4), 17% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2 Reading: Current: Dread x2, sidebar Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 195x6, OHP: 145x5, BP: 280x5…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/26 01:20 AM
1

Thanks and will read.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/26 04:14 AM
1

The worldview that having sex two days in a row would be dysfunctional, would be and has been treated as bullshit by me. Your approach of “all good” is disingenuous. While it’s different than the defensive reactions you might have had before, eventually you’re going to want to challenge this narrative with one of your own. The problem of “sex two days in a row being bad” is her problem or her nail, but you don’t have to take a seat at her table. I agree the days-in-a-row problem is made up and h…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/26 01:00 AM
2

OYS #30, 2025-01-20 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 221.0 lbs (+0.0), 17% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2 Reading: Current: Dread x2, sidebar Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 195x5, OHP: 145x5, BP: 280x5…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/26 12:04 AM
1

All good points and understood.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/26 01:22 PM
1

How do you feel about your behavior? I didn't feel too bad about half of it. I was curious about something my fiancé and I talked about walking to dinner, so I spent some time and multiple tries trying to find the info. The other half was scrolling social media, which I agreed is probably rude in general. I had no interest in the conversation being had and scrolled out of boredom. I took my daughter for a walk outside shortly afterwards which was nice. What did that look like? Repetitive respons…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/26 09:36 PM
1

OYS #29, 2025-01-13 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 221.0 lbs (+0.5), 17% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2 Reading: Current: Dread x2, Sidebar Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 195x5, OHP: 145x5, BP: 280x5…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/26 02:56 PM
1

OYS #28, 2025-01-06 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 220.5 lbs (+0.0), 17% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2 Reading (Current): Dread x2 Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 195x5, OHP: 145x5, BP: 280x5 Health:…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/26 04:40 AM
1

Stop building narratives that justify or excuse other behaviors. Understood. Come on sometimes that shit testing is half the fun You're right. It's an opportunity to have and be fun. Tyred is right however good or bad should not be held in context of external results, but instead how true to your wants/needs and image of yourself you are being. I will work on this going forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/25 12:08 AM
1

Will do.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/25 11:59 PM
1

Pt. 2 Sex: My sex life is improving slightly. There was a weird dynamic during a fuck session where I was having fun with different positions and locations around the bedroom and my fiancé was basically talking shit about what I was doing to her (changing positions, moving around the room, etc.). I repeated “I’m having fun fucking you, this [position/location] is fun” half a dozen times. If I wasn’t having fun, I would have stopped because I don’t want to fuck someone saying demeaning shit while…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/25 06:35 PM
1

OYS #26 & 27, 2025-12-30 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 220.5 lbs (+1.1), 17% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2 Reading: Current: Dread x2, Sidebar Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 195x6, OHP: 145x5, BP: …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/25 06:34 PM
1

Part 2/2 On the way home from Christmas lights and dinner last night allergies were rough on my eyes but subsided while the fiancé was putting the baby down. I initiated when she came down stairs, got a hard no, said “all good, I’m going upstairs to read and fall asleep.” She followed that with non-stop shit tests (more like shit talking). We both had a few drinks but the shit tests were over the top. I gathered my things, STFU (“poopy head”), and went upstairs. Other than being physically pushe…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/25 01:35 AM
1

OYS #25, 2025-12-16 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 219.4 lbs (0), 17% BF (-1); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2yrs Reading: Current: Dread x3 Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 205x5 (+10), OHP: 145x5, BP: 280x5 H…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/25 01:34 AM
1

Thanks for the link. I was able to find the post and have read it a few times along with ICM's comment history for needs and wants. I don't want to be a better plowhorse or use MRP to build a better beta. I want to find blindspots, break old models, and fix the man and be in the 1% around here. I'll continue focusing on the basics.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/25 06:50 PM
2

I'm surprised about you being stuck where you are, considering the work you put in on the basics. I'll take all the blind spot noticing I can get. I'll read through the authors and posts you recommended. I've restarted the sidebar and reading material twice after different paradigm shifts in the last 24 weeks so another review may be instructive. You've read his sum up of his merp process, right? I think it's quite instructive. Just boring implementation of the tools irrespective of what the gir…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/25 07:03 PM
1

You don't really have a golden ticket. You already have the kid. That's usually the real reason guys get tripped up by Threat Point. Probably a poor-ish choice of words. I had not heard of Threat Point(A) but found Dalrock's article. I also found We have all the weapons which was helpful. I understand how the kids are a major threat point in addition to no sex and divorce rape. I'm not going to stick around a shitty situation over the kid. As RS said "it's better to be a 100% Dad 50% of the time…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/25 12:01 AM
1

...if this how you truly feel then good. It also sounds like this space has allowed her to miss you as well. That's how it felt and I think you're right. She did thank me for "letting [her] have a girls night and for not texting [her]." How come? are these instead bids for your attention, time, and/or leadership? Think of it as a cat bringing you a dead mouse. A good example: the 2yo doesn't go down for a nap when my fiancé puts her down and has been the case for 1.5 yrs (for whatever reason; do…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/25 02:28 AM
1

OYS #24, 2025-12-09 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 219.4 lbs (-0.8), 18% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; F29, Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2 Reading: Current: TRM vol 3, Dread x2 Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 195x5, OHP: 145x5, BP: 280…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/25 04:22 PM
1

Sure, here's what I think are concrete upsides for me: Create and lead a conventional family Have children together Complementary efforts towards raising children Shared experiences over a lifetime Complementary efforts towards living life (time saved, distributed responsibilities, mutual benefits, etc.) Share a life with mutual interests, habits, etc. Implied and experienced gains in social status Practical gains (legal, taxes, insurance, etc.) Selfishly propagate my genes through selection Fig…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/25 01:25 AM
1

It is a win because I want to have and raise children. Marriage is the most optimal way to do so. I am aware the risks may be greater than the rewards today but find the reasoning to be high time preference. Things change. I'm not discounting how the environment, technology, law, etc. have changed marriage and it's not what it used to be 100 years ago (or on and on X period further into the past). I understand where you are both coming from and am old enough to have seen and been affected by bot…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/25 11:53 PM
1

Good observation, will do. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 11:11 PM
1

Is getting married really wise if you regularly shift back and forth from liking to disliking her? I responded to Blag's comment below which addressed this. Forgot to tag you. Scorekeeping much? I used to tell myself the same thing You're probably right. I do enjoy doing it though and will figure out if it's done for validating my efforts to get the O. I could be way off here, but I'm getting a vibe that you're at a stage where you're always anticipating a "no," so you half-heartedly initiate or…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 06:10 PM
1

This sounds like both parties defecting, being reactive, and punishing behavior. Am I understanding this correctly?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 05:51 PM
1

what it is you want or need I want to have fun, engaging, and "wild" fucks that I/we used to have 80% of the time, which is down to about 1%. I am trying to lead her to that but it's been leading a non-reactive corpse 80% of the time. The variety, etc. that I led us to years ago is now met with hard rejections, being pushed away, and shit tests. I don't intend this to come off as validation seeking but as a genuine "I want to fuck and have fun but I'm fucking and getting no response to my attemp…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 05:43 PM
2

When is your wedding? And do you have a prenup? No date selected yet. 12-18 months is the target range. If the wedding was <12 months out, I'd postpone it. There will absolutely be a prenup. My state enforces them and I've already put together terms, incentives, milestones, etc. and spoken to attorneys. She is aware it's coming. I don't fuck around when it comes to contracts. I get it, you're in deep...it'd be so hard to back out...what would people think...and even if you suggested it she'd lik…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 03:03 PM
2

You are both making valid points of what I experienced. Blarg: But if it's resigned sex? Where she feels like doing this is a sacrifice and you're doing it because crumbs are better than nothing, just bow out gracefully. The situation was resigned sex. After the baby woke up, she complained, pouted, and stomped her foot. I responded with "it's all good, don't worry about it. I'm hopping in the shower and getting ready for work." I lost interest in fucking. Cam: The woman is the gate keeper for s…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 01:20 AM
1

I agree with what you're saying. The baby woke up, she complained/pouted/stomped around, I responded with "it's all good, don't worry about it. I'm hoping in the shower and getting ready for work." The way she offered a quickie is what repulsed me. I had already decided not to have sex and that was my knee jerk response. I kept my (replused) feelings to myself and STFU. I've learned that lesson a few times and it finally stuck to keep my mouth shut. that leads to her hamster going into overdrive…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/25 12:44 AM
1

OYS #23, 2025-12-02 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 220.2 lbs (-0.4), 18% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, ~12% BF; Engaged 11mo, 1 kid <2 Reading: Current: TRM vol 3, Dread x2 Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 215x5, OHP: 145x5, BP: 280x5 He…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/25 06:22 PM
1

The new business venture is still ongoing but there's only so much time in a day. If I'm forced to prioritize one over the other, I choose fixing the man until the gains become marginal enough where more time is better spent on business. (it's not like my time is spent 80/20::mrp/new business) The way I think about it is: the old behaviors I'm getting rid of severely hampered my professional career over the last ~15 years. A majority of the problems were caused by unconscious behaviors IMO/IME. …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/25 06:37 AM
3

“And?” (Or silence). If something isn’t phrased as a request or question, it doesn’t require a response. These are both good and I'll use them. My woman repeats a rhetorical comment (3-5x) as bait for some other topic she actually wants to talk about. I never know what she actually wants to talk about because she'll repeat something like "It's cloudy out" and gets upset when I have nothing to say and get annoyed after the fifth time. Ironically, here and now, it was incongruent of (old) me not t…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/25 05:40 PM
1

It’s uncomfortable because you’ve never done it. You're right. After the feedback last week I decided to "eat STFU paint" and go as far as possible STFU. It turned out that I didn't reach the end but I found out where I actually was. Sit with it. Learn that these feelings while they are uncomfortable for you are okay, and you that you will be okay. This post from u/AlphalfaSprout (from Horn's link above) articulated what I wrote about desensitizing myself to the uncomfortable feelings of STFU (a…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/25 05:08 PM
2

Something you've been wildly unsuccessful with for your entire life, and even more so since finding MRP after it blatantly being pointed out to you since the start. You're right. I thought I was STFU but I was lying to myself about what the meaning of STFU was and how far I needed to go to actually STFU (note: it's not far enough unless it's uncomfortable; or painfully uncomfortable in my case). Getting popped in the mouth here last week was an important lesson to learn. Thanks for sharing the l…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/25 04:58 PM
1

I did not see this last week. This is helpful. Thanks, HW.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/25 02:54 PM
3

OYS #22, 2025-11-25 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 220.6 lbs (-0.7), 18% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, 12% BF; Engaged 11mo Reading: Current: TRM vol 2/3 x2, Dread x2 Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 195x5, OHP: 145x5, BP: 280x5 Health: …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/25 02:50 PM
1

You’re right. I failed to STFU after all the times guys here have pointed it out. I am autistically STFU.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/25 05:33 PM
1

you just need to shut the fuck up to autists levels, for you Understood. Notice every time you feel uncomfortable, you unload your negative emotions onto your partner which is unattractive, weak, and probably not in line with who you want to be. It’s not who I want to be at all. I’ve come to learn how my shitty behavior has fucked things up all across my life and won’t continue down that road. I have been better about this since starting here. I still have a ways to go here. hopefully lifting ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/25 04:12 PM
1

You’re probably right. Thanks for the idea, I’ll give it a run.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/25 04:02 PM
1

You're right. I need to STFU.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/25 11:07 PM
1

Don't let the self-congratulatory dopamine slow you from reaching your real finish line. Agreed. Goal is 210. I celebrate the 5 lb increments along the way. It's ok to be angry, you know that right? Yes. The anger was about my failures over the weekend and through this morning. Anger is the diagnostic tool. I knew I fucked up and was angry about it. I've recalibrated. Do some fucking pushups or go for a lap of the neighborhood as a vote for the future you want - turn that anger into progress, no…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/25 11:05 PM
1

OYS #21, 2025-11-18 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 221.3 lbs (-1.1), 18% BF (0), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: (Currently) MMSLP, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 335x8, ROW: 1…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/25 06:23 PM
3

Indifference, on the other hand, isn't a reaction, it isn't emotional for you. With our back and forth, I understand why indifference is the best non-manipulative behavior. This exchange has probably saved me months-worth of time trying to figure out why "my frame" was causing problems through (bad) manipulation only to learn I was being reactive in her frame. I understand how guys get 6 months deep into "their frame" only to find out they were dancing monkeys. I have a lot of work to do and it …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/25 09:55 PM
1

Does this distinction make sense to you? Yes, I see the reaction now. Is this making sense? Yes, this makes sense to me. I see what you are saying. Thinking aloud, where I struggle is reconciling being manipulative versus operant conditioning. If I don’t want certain behaviors in my life, I don’t want to reward poor behavior or punish good behavior. The “why” is I do/don’t want certain shit in my life. Maybe I’m missing the “alpha indifference/aloofness” you mentioned as the proper action within…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/25 04:35 PM
1

Dancing monkey much? I've read to withdraw my attention and affection if l determine behavior towards me is unacceptable. In this case, my initiations were rejected each day over the course of a week. So after each rejection I turned the down the attention/affection dial a bit (i.e. 100 down to 95) but continued to initiate regardless. My "why" wasn't to be intentionally reactive ("she won't fuck me so fuck her") as it was trying not to reward poor behavior ("I don't give attention to a fiancé w…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/25 04:37 PM
1

OYS #20, 2025-11-11 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 222.4 lbs (-0.2), 18% BF (0), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: TRM vol 6, WISNIFG x2, MMSLP, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifts: DL: 425x6, SQ: 33…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/25 05:10 PM
1

Thanks for the feedback, HW.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/25 05:57 PM
2

She was at home, notified me, and was with her best friend. That was acceptable to me. Her being hungover was her problem. She did not get bailed out and had to deal with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/25 05:55 PM
2

OYS #19, 2025-11-04 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 222.6 lbs (+0.2), 18% BF (0), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 11mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid <2 Reading: Current: MMSLP, TRM vol 6, Dread x2, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Lifts: DL: 425x6 SQ: 335x8 ROW: 195x5 OHP: 145x5 BP: 280x5 Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/25 04:28 PM
1

CONTINUED And so, it is time to own my shit. I lived and operated out of fear nearly my whole life. Fear of loss, of failure, of reprisal, of being disliked, and of my fiancé’s emotions, possibility for her to cheat, etc. The whole gamut. Any frame I had was incidental and I never had frame or understood the concept. I’ve had many successes in life that came from performing and not being. Achieving success was met with a tight grip and fear of losing whatever was gained, instead of understanding…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/25 06:12 PM
1

OYS #17 & 18, 2025-10-28 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 222.4 lbs (-2), 18% BF (0); Target: 210 lbs, 12% BF; Engaged 11mo Reading: Current: MMSLP, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Mission: Live as most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. Pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. Lead my family in a conventional manner as a man within my frame, abundance, generosity, and self-accountability. Health: Completed 3 workouts and was a little under target on steps…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/25 06:12 PM
1

Understood. I'll make some changes to my OYS. Thanks for responding.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/25 08:59 PM
1

The link you posted was helpful and is new info to me. Thank you. What control do you have over fixing her anxiety problem? I don't have any control over the problem or it's root cause. The man sounds pretty lost here. What is it that you want to do? It’s okay if you don’t know. Yeah, I admit that I'm lost. I want to act within my frame and not be ground down by emotions that aren't mine to fix or manage. I don't know if I endure the Nth order effects within my frame using tools like the oak, ro…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/25 06:57 PM
1

What are your lifts today vs 4 months ago? I don't post lifts because I don't (think I) need help or motivation in this category. I've worked out 3x per week regularly for ~7 years and use trainerize to collect data (676 sessions, >1900 PRs). I haven't done explicit SL5x5 in about a decade. I did olympic style training in my early/mid 20s and got into the 1400 lb club (minus ROW), which I don't need to do again. I'm also older and accrued injuries are harder to manage. Since starting here, I do …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/25 05:17 PM
1

You are right. Understood.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/25 09:24 PM
2

So you’re stupid? Why do you consistently do shit that annoys you? I am trying to understand what to do about being annoyed that she won't fix the anxiety problem. If it's because I'm not being the oak, then that's what I'll focus on. If it's because I'm a Drunk Captain, then I'll focus on that. If it's both or something else entirely, then I'll continue working the process to change fix the man. So did she come to you to seek that comfort you were doling out? Yes. She walked up to me, I hugged …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/25 09:02 PM
1

Thanks, HW. I read through the whole post (#5) and tried to read it again but stopped 1/3 of the way through. I don't see how my fiancé built a fence in my mind about what I can or can't do within my mission or how using her femininity to find my mission is helpful. I learned reading and doing the exercises in NMMNG that I certainly built a fence as a Nice Guy. I'm rolling up wire and pulling posts each passing day and thinking about where I want my mission to take me. Maybe I'm not understandin…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/25 06:57 PM
1

Stop being captain save a hoe. You’re not leading, your’re placating I have zero desire to do either of these. If my words are betraying what I want to do or what I'm trying to convey, I'd like to know so I can adjust accordingly. The point of providing the additional context was to see if my behavior was at fault for her anxiety and that's now known to not be the case. I have zero anxiety about her anxiety and am only annoyed by it. It never existed to that degree and started around the same ti…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/25 06:47 PM
1

I wouldn't call it a struggle, just calibrating for changing conditions. Where I live is coming into social event/tourist season so the event calendar fills up quickly. I'll figure it out and adjust accordingly. I don't have and haven't had any kind of substance abuse problems. Weights shown in OYS are also an average over the past 7 days. For example, I clocked in at 222.9 this morning and 223.8 yesterday morning. It jumps around and I wouldn't be surprised to see tomorrow morning be somewhere …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/25 06:28 PM
–

Drive-by reply: check Didn't read my OYS history: check Doesn't care: check. Clearly here for validation. Thanks for reading. Please like and subscribe for more. Haven’t done the sidebar. Can you point it out to me? Haven’t posted lifts progress. Where's your OYS history? Haven’t lost a pound in 4 months Would you be a doll and help me lose one? Quit now and save us the trouble of reading your verbal diarrhea. Its pathetic. I've decided that torturing you once a week for five minutes is worth mo…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/25 06:22 PM
1

Ok, thanks for helping me understand. I have no desire to be responsible for her emotions.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/25 06:11 PM
1

Thanks FF. Some context may be necessary so that my behavior is congruent and so I don't wrongly ignore a hamster lost in the maze. When she had anxiety (on a much lower level) from work (medical field) before the baby, she was good at covertly, and sometimes overtly, communicating that she needed to get thrown around like a rag doll and get fucked. She rarely asked for comfort and looking back I would give it after fucking without knowing what it was. That stopped with the pregnancy. The curren…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/25 08:34 PM
1

OYS #16, 2025-10-14 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 224.4 lbs (-0.2), 18% BF (0), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: MMSLP, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build, lead, and give freely to my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, abundance, and is self-accountable. Lifting: Lifts completed and s…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/25 06:05 PM
1

Will do. Thanks again.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/25 05:47 PM
1

Thanks HW. If she gave you input and you decided it was valid and chose to go with it (within your frame), that's some Captain/First Mate shit right there. Good point. I didn't think of it like this. For some reason, I thought not making all the decisions is therefore not leading. Terrible logic. She does provide valuable input on occasion that gets incorporated. I do sometimes pass off decisions that need to be made, which is my fault. It's a nice dynamic when you avoid her hamster and she apol…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/25 11:03 PM
1

OYS #15, 2025-10-07 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 224.6 lbs (-0.9), 18% BF (0), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: NMMNG x2, MMSLP, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifting: Lifts completed. Steps on ta…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/25 06:20 PM
1

Yes. I was stuck analyzing for weeks on end and was able to stop by limiting time to think and replaced by doing. However you organize your time, limit thinking and replace it with doing something - anything but thinking. You'll find that thinking all the time is a mental block. Over analyzing is a negative feedback loop; doing is a positive feedback loop. You're not going to retrain yourself by thinking, only by doing.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/25 05:58 PM
1

Thanks man
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/25 01:01 AM
1

You shouldn’t be aiming for anything, you should naturally gravitate to things you enjoy and want. Aiming may have been the wrong word to use. I'm active in my community and have a large friend group so there's always something going on. I can attend an event, go do something fun, or spend time with friends by making a few calls. It's been that way my whole life and I enjoy it. I left the family business ~6 months ago and spend my time shedding burnout, building my new business, or putting in th…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/25 05:24 PM
1

OYS #14, 2025-09-30 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 225.5 lbs (+0.8), 18% BF (0), Fiancé 29yrs, engaged; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: NMMNG x2, MMSLP, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifting: Lifts completed and steps were o…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/25 05:08 PM
1

I have a social life outside of the relationship. I disengaged too much for about 1.5 yrs but have reengaged since starting OYS. Getting my social life back on track wasn't difficult. I aim for 1 to 3 social events each week. “Babe I don’t know about you but I’m going to be fucking 69 times per month until I’m 96” This is a better response. More direct ("going to be"), with AA, and without the quasi-assertive DEERing response. How did you determine your initiations were validation seeking or not…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/25 12:28 AM
1

Thanks and will do.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/25 06:04 PM
1

OYS #13, 2025-09-23 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”,224.7 lbs (0), 18% BF (0), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: NMMNG x2, MMSLP, Sidebar Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself through discipline. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To build and lead my family in a conventional manner by being a man with frame, who fucks, and is self-accountable. Lifting: Lifted twice this week, missed a lift being sick. Steps w…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/25 05:34 PM
2

The premise of RP is to explore and understand intersexual dynamics. Whether or not you believe getting married is worth it or not after understanding intersexual dynamics has no bearing on my choices. Why are you asking that question on MRP?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/25 04:49 PM
2

Thanks, Hickory. The more I wrote, processed, and rewrote, the easier my anger became to manage. It took me all day but that was a good trade off. Originally I thought my anger was from the last week but the truth is I've been building that anger for years. Combo the build up with three months of this place and Monday turned out to be the climax. I'm glad it happened and was dealt with. Thanks for the MS recommendation, that's what I'll do.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/25 07:05 PM
1

OYS #12, 2025-09-16 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 224.7 lbs (-0.8), 18% BF (0), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: NMMNG x2, MMSLP, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To lead my family out of chaos to the conventional environment I had growing up by being a strong, self-accountable male. (No progress on the rewrite, no excuses; will be d…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/25 06:24 PM
2

OYS #10/11 2025-09-09 (Updated to 11 to match no. of weeks here) Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 225.9 lbs (+0.4), 18% BF (-1), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading (current): NMMNG x2, Sidebar Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To lead my family out of chaos to the conventional environment I had growing up by being a strong, self-accountable male. (Still gay; working on a r…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/25 04:09 PM
2

What are 2-3 actions you can take right now to improve? STFU Restart sidebar material (starting with NMMNG + exercises) Observe behaviors from my old paradigm, make note, and work on removing them My previous paradigm was laid bare and must be destroyed and replaced with a better one. It's been difficult to process but the tools found and experience shared here show it can absolutely be done. So, that's the model I'll work to incorporate to change my behavior. I don't doubt I'll keep making pain…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/25 06:20 PM
1

OYS #9 2025-09-02 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”,225.5 lbs (-1.8), 19% BF (-1), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: NMMNG x2, MMSLP, Sidebar, Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To lead my family out of chaos to the conventional environment I had growing up by being a strong, self-accountable male. (note: this is retarded and will be changed) Lifting: Lifts completed, step …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/25 07:56 PM
2

Understood. I'm here to find and fix my shitty behavior so that I don't end up in this position again. Thanks for replying.
/r/askMRP02/09/25 06:36 PM
5

I think so, yes. The feedback has pointed out a lot of my blindspots, misuse of tools, and generally being retarded about how I've applied new behaviors. I'll work on removing validation seeking behavior and talking less.
/r/askMRP29/08/25 07:07 PM
2

You are right. I talk to much.
/r/askMRP29/08/25 07:04 PM
3

Understood. Thanks for responding.
/r/askMRP29/08/25 07:04 PM
2

Which part was a comfort test? I did not notice one and don't want to miss it again.
/r/askMRP29/08/25 12:17 AM
2

You're right. In the end, I did it for validation and I talk to hear what I want to hear. Thanks.
/r/askMRP29/08/25 12:14 AM
4

You're right. I'm using a scoreboard and didn't realize that was the case. I'll do the work to remove it.
/r/askMRP29/08/25 12:12 AM
2

Sex isn't the goal, yes. But it is important. The goal is to be a man capable of fulfilling his own sexual needs, which he defines. So, if you've defined what that sexual needs are, you should be working on the things that are required, of you, to fulfill those sexual needs. If you're fat, you're not going to get enthusiastic, wet pornstar sex (if that's what you want). You are correct and I agree. Sex isn't my goal but it is important to me. I was having enthusiastic pornstar sex before meeting…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/25 01:14 AM
1

OYS # 8 2025-08-26 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”,227.3 lbs (-1.3), 20% BF (0), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: Current: MMSLP, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To lead my family out of chaos to the conventional environment I had growing up by being a strong, self-accountable male. Lifting: Lifts completed, steps were under target. Di…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/25 04:26 PM
3

OYS #6-7 2025-08-19 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 228.6 lbs (+1.5), 20% BF (0), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading (currently): MMSLP, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To lead my family out of chaos to the conventional environment I had growing up by being a strong, self-accountable male. Lifting: Lifts were on track and improving, exce…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/25 07:02 PM
1

Wow, wasn't expecting this. I've been reading through your OYS posts and comments staring from the beginning. Your former situation resonated with mine. There's some overlap that I haven't posted about (trust issues, drip fed sex for control/power, etc.) because it doesn't matter this early in the game. I need to master basics before tackling larger issues caused by my old behaviors. That's interesting, I didn't think of my getting shit done as enabling the SO's bullshit. I don't know if this ap…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/25 09:02 PM
2

Thanks, Horns. I read your OYS and the comments and agree that you're probably right. The whole birthday thing was the nicest "thing" I've done for her, probably ever. That doesn't change the NMMNG behaviors over the years which means she'll test harder to find that old faggot me. I do get called an asshole and mean about every other day but that's likely due to changes since starting here on MRP. I have been using your "weather patterns" model daily and have improved towards sailing like Lt. Da…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/25 06:38 PM
1

OYS # 5 2025-08-05 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 227.1 lbs (-3.8), 20% BF (-1), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: Current: MMSLP, Praxeology Vol 3, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To lead my family out of chaos to the conventional environment I had growing up by being a strong, self-accountable male. Physical: Lifted three times and …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/25 04:59 PM
1

OYS # 4 2025-07-29 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 230 lbs (-1), 21.5% BF (+0.5), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid under 2 Reading: MMSLP, Praxeology Vol 3, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Physical: Bench 105lb DBs (3x8), DL 415lb (3x6), SQ 335lb (3x8), ROW 150lb (3x10), OHP 55lb DBs (3x8), 71k steps Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To lead my family out of chaos to the conventional …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/25 05:12 PM
1

What does successful sex mean? Success as in I initiated, had sex, and came. I do not mean "she seemed to like having sex with me so I must be doing what she wants me to do." How do you know it was of interest to her? I don't know whether or not it was of interest to her. I will use better terms to describe events going forward. Her behavior during (most of) the sex in question was not starfish, duty sex but engaged. She fellow commands, returned dirty talk, and was wet. I've read to avoid smutt…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/25 07:37 PM
1

OYS #3 2025-07-22 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”,231 lbs (+2), 21% BF(+1), Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo, together 6yrs; 1 kid under 2 Reading: TDW, MMSLP, Praxeology Vol 3, Sidebar, MRP links, askMRP links Physical: Bench 105lb DBs (3x8) DL 415lbs (3x6) SQ 335lbs (3x8) ROW 160lbs (3x10) (+10) OHP 55lb DBs (3x8) >70k steps/wk (63k) Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, focus, and consistency. To lead my family out of chaos to the c…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/25 12:51 AM
1

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Understood.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/07/25 09:13 PM
1

Relationship: Generally, the last two weeks have been better. During the first week, I found myself doing things beneficial to her frame and her desires for the relationship after a decent fuck. I caught myself doing so while on the treadmill and realized where some of my issues stemmed from: sex as conditioning, behaving in accordance with her frame, and incongruences in my frame. While she did many nice things for me that day and I thought I was rewarding her with praise and attention for doin…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 07:33 PM
1

OYS #2 2025-07-15 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”,228lbs (down 1lb), 20% Body Fat(body comp & navy) Fiancé 29yrs; together 6yrs, 1.5 y/o Reading:MMSLP, Praxeology Vol 3, Dog Walker, Sidebar, MRP links Physical: Bench 105lb DBs (3x8); N/C DL 415lb (3x6); N/C SQ 345lb (3x8): up 10 lbs on belt squat ROW 150lb (3x10); N/C OHP 55lb DBs (3x8); N/C >70k steps/wk (49k/wk); down 35k due to vacation Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself. To pursue my new business ventures with drive, f…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 07:32 PM
1

Thanks for reading and for responding. You are right. I attached my ego to being RP aware and overestimated my abilities and understanding. It's a good day to start killing off that ego.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 09:33 PM
2

Career: I recently left the family business after 25 years. While the nature of the business allows me to work *with* the business(still do; it benefits me), I no longer work *for* the business. This was a long time coming and I was willingly stuck in the family frame, sacrificing time/wealth/health for little to no reward. I decided not to abandon the business (did 90% of the work) nor torch my relationships and left over the course of a year. I’m now on my own and doing my own (related) busine…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 06:35 PM
1

OYS #1 2025-07-01 Stats: 38yrs, 6’3”, 230lbs, 20% BF (body comp & navy) Fiancé 29yrs; engaged 8mo; together 6yrs, 1 kid - 1.5yrs Reading: MMSLP, Praxeology Vol 3, Sidebar Previously Read: TRM (1-5), Praxeology Vol 1 &2, NMMNG, WISNIFG, MAP, PFPFPM, 48LOP, Sidebar Physical: Bench 105lb DBs (3x8), DL 415lb (3x6), SQ 335lb (3x8), ROW 150lb (3x10), OHP 55lb DBs (3x8), >70k steps/wk (84k) Mission: Strive to be the most capable and competent version of myself. To pursue my new business ventures with d…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 06:35 PM
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